I opened the door of the fridge, and checked the milk. It was expired. I took it out anyways. I sat down, and started pouring milk into the cereal bowl. As I did that, I thought about what my day would entail. I would likely deal with some overbearing fellow citizens eager to put an immigrant in they’re place. Suddenly I felt wetness on my hooves.
Looking down, I saw I had spilled milk all over the floor and my hooves. I sighed. I just scooted the bowl and my chair to the left, and ate my cereal. I didn’t clean it up. I left my dirty bowl and spoon on the table. Eating had taken longer than I had thought it would. I got up and walked to my banged-up screen door. I didn’t have a true, wooden one.
I stepped down from my stoop and onto the dark streets. I didn’t bother locking my door; I had nothing worth stealing. As I walked down the street my breath came out in small puffs that were highlighted in the streetlights. If I were a fellow citizen I wouldn’t have to wake up this early. If I were a fellow citizen I would have security, I would have happiness. I would have a future.
I shook my head to rid it of such thoughts. I wouldn’t become a fellow citizen with that sort of attitude. If I kept doing what I was told, if I kept serving the community, then I too could become a fellow citizen.
AS I walked, I listened to the voice coming out of the speakers set up on the corner of every building.
“Fellow citizens. The time to act is now. Why skimp, when you deserve more? Fellow citizens, do your part. Together, we can take back the world.”
That simple message was repeated continuously. After living her for almost a year, I had grown used to it. It was the voice of Twilight Sparkle, the regent. She had been ordinary once, but when destiny called, she had risen to it. Now, she was all that stood between us and the outside.
Sighing, I shuffled my feet through a puddle; there had been a series of rainstorms all week. My hoof caught on debris hidden within the murky depths of the puddle. Too tired even to cry out, I tumbled down into the freezing puddle. Despite the cold water chilling me to the bone, I still was no more awake than I had been when I woke up.
And that is when everything became perfectly clear to me.
I stood up.
I dropped my raincoat that said IMMIGRANT: SANITATION WORKER into a puddle.
I turned around, and began walking home. No, not home. Just a house.
As I walked, I thought about my epiphany. Should I share it with others? No. Let them come to their own realizations in the streetlight. If they can’t figure it out for themselves then they don’t deserve to know it. If I told them the way, the way would become meaningless.
I ignored the voice of the regent coming out of the speaker. If a message is repeated constantly, it loses its message. A voice continually speaking goes hoarse.
I stepped onto my stoop, the cracked steps creaking in protest as soon as I put weight on them. I opened the torn screen door, and then stepped into the entryway. This would be the last time I would do so.
I walked down the hall, my hoofsteps soft against the yielding carpet. I opened the door to my bedroom, and stepped inside. I knew what I was here for.
I walked past to my bed, and lowered my shoulder into it and pushed it aside. The cheap wooden posts made large scratches on the hardwood floor, but I was no longer worried about its resale value. My search was too important.
I tapped several spots on the floor, trying to remember where I had left it. When my knocking gave a hollow sound in return, I knew I was in the right place. I brought my hoof down, and shattered a loose plank. I pulled the pieces out of the newly revealed hole, and then stuck reached inside. I grasped a box, and pulled it up.
It’d been a while since I last saw it. It was an old cardboard box; its corners were crumpled and it was discolored with age. Hesitantly, I lifted the lid off of it. There was no going back now.
Now that I could see what I came back for, I gained confidence. I reached into the box, and withdrew a small gold necklace, with a symbol on a small pendant. I put it on my neck, then put the lid back on the box. Leaving the box on my bed, I walked back out of my house and onto the lonely streets.
This was the only reminder of my previous life. It was a symbol of Stalliongrad, before it fell. Like good fellow citizens should, Ponyville had accepted the refugees. All they asked is that we would forget our roots, forget our beginnings and become good fellow citizens with them.
But I didn’t want to forget. This necklace had represented all that I had lost; all that I would remember. I wore it everyday, until a certain fellow citizen gaurdspony had informed me that a fellow citizen would not wear it. A fellow citizen left their past behind and lived only in the present.
A perfect fellow citizen was inoffensive and bland. Perfect fellow citizens were interchangeable. A perfect fellow citizen didn’t feel. I would never be a fellow citizen; I didn’t want to be a fellow citizen.
I would have to move quickly, more ponies would be awakening soon. I put my head down and began walking as fast as was inconspicuous. The chain made a soft clink-clink as I walked. I was almost to the Wall, when I was stopped by a guard.
“What’re you doing over here? Don’t you have to report for sanitation duty now? The director won’t be pleased with your tardiness.”
I knew this mare. She was wearing a flak jacket with the words FELLOW CITIZEN: GAURDSPONY on the sides. Her name was unimportant, but her presence had always been welcome. Unlike most fellow citizens, she was polite to immigrants like myself. Even now, she sounded like she was worried about me.
I told her that I no longer had sanitation duty. I told her that I had a much greater duty right now, one that required me to leave Ponyville. She had the sense not to ask about it. I think she knew there really was no job.
I passed her, and didn’t look back. There is no room to be held back by memories, nor can I afford to waste time in a goodbye. She had conveyed her sentiment by letting me pass.
I was now at the Wall. It was the only thing separating Ponyville from the ruins. It was there that I had to go. There was a small gate, reserved for the ponies on official business, who for whatever reason needed to leave. It was alarmed. If someone opened it without clearance, they would be severely punished. That didn’t matter now.
I was stopped by the sound of hoofsteps. I turned around, and saw the gaurdspony. “Why are you doing this? You’re so close to becoming a fellow citizen. If you leave now, you’ll be leaving your future behind.”
I chuckled. I told her she didn’t get it. She’d been born a fellow citizen, she’d never had to earn it. I told her how I couldn’t give up my identity for safety. Even if I faced certain death out there, in the beyond, it would be worth it to feel again.
“But what about your life here? What about the ponies that care about you?”
Anyone who truly cared about me had died a long time ago. She may have thought that she cared about me, but she didn’t truly know what it means to care. To care about something is to open yourself to a world of pain, of doubt. She was a perfect fellow citizen. She didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand.
I turned away from her. I wouldn’t let myself be distracted; I’d made my choice.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the gate and stepped into the beyond.
