Every single day, she would have to watch somepony she loved die in front of her.
Which only reminded her of how helpless she was. She couldn’t even save a pony from some stupid crystal minion!
As she shook the dust out of her mane, Rainbow wondered how long would it take? The pain had numbed her, but every drop of blood shed, every life lost would still cause a stab to her heart.
Maybe things would become better. But as much as she hoped, dreams were still dreams after all.
Dreams weren’t meant to exist in war. Rainbow knew that perfectly well, yet nothing could stop the thoughts of hopes and dreams. What would things be like if the war never happened?
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“Maybe the stars would help us.” Rainbow wondered aloud, the memory of the Pie sisters still fresh. The mere thought caused cascades of pain in her. Despite the strong side she put on to motivate the soldiers – particularly Thunderlane and Cloud Chaser, in order to have them at their best – she still had emotions. She wasn’t a robot, and nor was anypony else. She had a reason to believe that Spitfire wasn’t the heartless machine most people thought of her as, because she had on more than one occasion, seen tears pour out of Spitfire’s eyes.
The tears were pooling at her eyes now. She could feel them, almost scorching and mocking her inability to save others.
“Captain?” A familiar voice sounded.
Rainbow panicked.
She didn’t want anyone to know that she could barely get through the days that she would have left. She didn’t want anyone to know how she couldn’t see a drop of blood from her friends, the ponies she cared about, without the tears at the end of each day. Wiping the tears away, she turned around.
She was met with the same pair of emerald eyes. The same pair that she knew she could melt in.
“Yes?”
“Good news. Thunderlane, Braeburn and I, we’ll be launching a mission to annihilate half of Sombra’s army.” His expression was solemn, but his eyes had the same amount of gentleness. The same amount since he joined the army. He adjusted his sling and wiped away some of the blood that pooled at his neck. One more inch, and he would’ve been gone for sure.
“Don’t fly.” The words tumbled out her mouth, faster than what she could comprehend, but they were firm and clear in the silence of the night.
“What?” Soarin was puzzled.
“Please don’t fly. Please, Soarin.” She didn’t know what she was doing. The possibility of the war ending was a tempting one, but if she had to sacrifice the only pony she knew she could love, she couldn’t do it. She was choosing love over loyalty, and she couldn’t believe it.
“Why, Captain? You know that I am needed.” Soarin was confused. For the entire war, all Rainbow had been saying was gritting their teeth and staying alive to fight for Equestria, but now she was asking for the opposite? It just didn’t make any sense to him.
“Please.” She pleaded one more time, but he simply turned and left.
What she didn’t know was how the tears were forming and dripping when he left.
A knife had been stabbed in Soarin’s heart. He knew, if he died, no matter how much he loved her, it would not mean anything.
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Spreading his wings, Soarin grunted as the harsh north winds blew against his mane, his body, moving him back to where he started. Gathering all his energy, he prepared to take flight, until a piercing scream – more of a sob – stopped him.
“PLEASE DON’T FLY!” Rainbow’s face was streaked with tears, her mane hung limply, the tears matting them.
“What did I told you, Captain?” Soarin wanted to shout, but he softened his tone at the last minute.
“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose anypony else. The Pie sisters are already gone. They were my only friends! Please, just listen to me!” Again the words tumbled out before she could register anything. “The blood – it’s too much!”
“Rainbow.” Soarin’ tipped her chin upwards with a hoof, looking her in the eye. “My duty is to protect Equestria, no matter the cost.”
“I CAN’T TAKE IT! NOT ANYMORE!” The rage that consumed her was almost unreal. It was a mere fraction of what she felt during the course of the war. The anger, the loneliness, the depressing memories…
Soarin composed himself for the hardest part.
“Please,” he said, “I have my duty too.”
That was the second time his tears pooled in his eyes.
Sighing, he flew off – finally being able to reach the skies, yet her tears didn’t stopped. The fear in her stomach was tying itself into a knot – a strange, complicated knot – that only intensified her fears.
Rainbow didn’t know what to do. She truly did care for Soarin. She knew it; there was no denial, but could there be anything that she could’ve done to stop everything. Failure wasn’t something she took lightly; every failure was a blow to her soul, a wound that would never heal, no matter how she dealt with it – achieving almost impossible feats, yet the failures shadowed her path.
It was her greatest failure of all. Her failure to prevent the only pony she could love now from danger.
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The stars were out, still, but Rainbow felt something in heart that she couldn’t register. Was it fear, loneliness, or helplessness? Or was it just mere sadness?
“Cap-Captain?” The same, warm, familiar voice made it’s way into Rainbow’s memory.
“You’re alive?” She didn’t bother hiding the tears. They glimmered in the moonlight, illuminating her deep magenta orbs.
“Yes.” Soarin looked terrible. A part of his mane was singed away. His knees were wrapped in bandages and one in a cast. A part of his ear had been cut off, but the only thing to stop the blood was a feeble bandage, and as he spoke, he repeatedly wiped away the blood. Both his wings were wrapped in bandages, and he could barely walk. But his eyes…
Still, the same gentleness she had spotted on his first day was there.
He reached out one of his hooves awkwardly, and pulled Rainbow into a soft embrace, cradling her with what little warmth could be found in the middle of a violent, callous war.
For Rainbow, love was a luxury in war. It would just hurt more, and the price was too risky for her. Yet when she was pulled into Soarin’s gentle caress, she had let her emotions override her sense. She shouldn’t have done it, and she knew it, but she made no attempt to stop it.
The tears came again, and she just simply gave up on stopping her emotions. The soft, choking sobs disappeared, carried by the wind, away from their camp.
“Soarin…do you…do you love me?” It was the only question she had, and it may as well as been her last night, but she had wanted to know. If she would die, at least, she would die in peace.
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Soarin’s voice. He had simply said what he knew was true; from the moment he lay eyes on her.
The two held together, before the moon had rose to the highest point in the sky.
“So I’ll see you around?” Rainbow asked, looking into his eyes. She now knew, at least, some of the gentleness was hers.
Simply nodding in response, Soarin pulled Rainbow in for one last embrace.
Author's Note
Something that is also on my DeviantArt. I finally got an account 
