Tales of Equestria Girls

Shining Armor ignored the short ringing of the welcome bell as he pushed open the double doors to the temple of spicy, greasy delight. He breathed in a lungful of air with a grin, but it turned into a loud yawn before he had exhaled entirely. He chuckled briefly once he was done. He didn't like looking exhausted, especially as late as noon; he was supposed to be a pinnacle of virility and endurance, but last night's activities had truly worn him out.

Laughing quietly to himself once more, he closed the distance to the counter with a wave to the two friends sitting in their usual booth. He didn't even need to tell the clerk what he wished to order; she just nodded at him and yelled his name to the other clerk in the kitchen. Soon after he'd paid, she lay a combination that many would call a sin against the æsir of nachos and a taco onto his tray.

He let out another yawn as he walked to their booth, earning a knowing smirk between his two friends.

"My, my," one of them as his smirk grew said, "stayed up late?"

Shining Armor's face looked like it might split in two because of his grin. "You know it," he replied as he sat down and lay his tray down on the table they shared.

The other gave a hearty laugh. "Cadance really worked you out last night, didn't she?"

His mirth was contagious and it was Shining Armor’s turn to smirk. "You have no idea."

An unfamiliar voice from behind him cut off any additional laughter that might have been. "Actually, I have a pretty good idea."

Shining Armor blinked, then snapped his neck to the side to see a teenaged girl propping her elbow on the backrest separating their booth and looking at him without looking much interested. He craned his neck further and shifted his torso to face her.

She had light purple skin and her hair was trapped in two white, wavy pigtails. Pink eyes stared back at him from beneath orange glasses. He blinked again as he tried to remember where he had seen her before, and then recognized her as one of Crystal Prep Academy's top students; one of the few pupils within the entire school that Principal Cinch had ever bothered to praise.

Another girl was seated in the chair opposite of her. Pink hair framed a white face that was distorted in absolute mortification and slightly darker pink eyes of which pupils were reduced to the size of pinpricks.

"Sugarcoat," Fleur de Lys hissed as she dug her nails into the table, "what the fuck are you doing?"

The other girl ignored her and waited for his reaction.

"Uh..." Shining Armor muttered confusedly, "what are you talking about?"

Sugarcoat propped her other arm on the backrest. "I know how tiring Dean Cadance can be."

He blinked once more, oblivious to his two friends paling behind his back.

"What."

"We slept together;" she deadpanned as she fished a small, white piece of cloth out of her chest pocket with one hand. "Never bothered to count how many times though," she added as she took off her glasses and started cleaning the lenses.

Confusion fled before the anger bubbling up inside Shining Armor's chest. "Why, you little..." It took all his willpower not to deck her in the face. "Cadance would never-"

Sugarcoat's stare right into his eyes stopped him in his tracks.

"Not sorry to break it to you," she said as she put her glasses back on, "but the whole school knows she has a heart-shaped birthmark right above her left buttock."

His friends shared a guilty glance which he didn't notice, being too busy trying to work his lower jaw back into place. That wasn't the kind of information that was easy to learn, and if he recalled correctly, this aggravating girl was reputed to be brutally honest.

That didn't mean he had to believe her. "This is total bullshit," he retorted with what little confidence he had left.

Sugarcoat merely shrugged in response. "Ask around," she replied before turning back to her meal, ignoring her friend's twitching, bulged out eyes.

**********

Arms and legs crossed, Principal Cinch tapped her foot impatiently on the floor as she sat in the middle of the auditorium's front row of chairs. Cadance sat beside her, sharing a look of confusion and worry with Twilight Sparkle, who sat next to her. Sugarcoat completed the four middle seats, looking a mixture of bored and unimpressed.

"I hope you have a good reason for interrupting this afternoon's lessons, mister Armor," said Cinch with a tone that cooled the room by a few degrees. "All of this afternoon's lessons."

Shining Armor gulped audibly as Cinch's eyes bore daggers right into him. He was used to talking to a full auditorium, but Cinch had a gift when it came to scaring the hell out of everyone in the school. "It's important," he muttered weakly to her away from the microphone.

Cinch merely scowled. He didn't know if she was pissed for the reasons she outlined or because she was used to being on stage dishing out orders instead of waiting in the audience.

Probably both, Shining Armor decided. She was kind of a bitch.

He tapped on the microphone with his forefinger, making plenty of people in the room cringe or cover their ears as the scratching echoed piercingly throughout the auditorium. Sugarcoat instead just said "you're not supposed to do that."

Shining Armor cleared his throat. "As you know, I've been dating Dean Cadance for a while..."

A loud gasp escaped Twilight, spawning several mocking, condescending laughs that turned Cadance's smile into a frown and made him narrow his eyes slightly.

Cinch spoke up before he could do the same. "Crystal Prep Academy isn't the place for a marriage proposal, mister Armor."

Somewhat less insulting laughter followed her statement and his cheeks flushed considerably. "It's not that!"

Cinch's skepticism was almost palpable.

He looked away from her disapproving glare and cleared his throat again. "This is going to sound ridiculous and out of the blue, but..." His eyes drifted to his girlfriend. "Would all those who didn't sleep with Cadance mind raising their hand?"

The room lapsed into a shocked silence, before a strangled screech that sounded only vaguely like "WHAT?" nearly shook the building's foundations as Cadance's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

Cinch let out a groan, removed her glasses, closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Oh, for Forseti's sake."

Twilight's mouth moved of its own accord as she tried to make the scene make sense. Eventually, she raised her hand timidly, still shell-shocked, while a thoroughly unimpressed Cinch mimicked her. The rest of the audience imitated them with various degrees of confidence, save for Cadance, who had started sweating profusely, and Sugarcoat, who crossed her arms and started munching noisily.

Cadance then looked behind her and heaved a small sigh of relief, which didn't exactly reassure Shining Armor. He drummed the side of his chest with his free hand uneasily as he took in the whole room.

Her sigh caught in her throat at Shining Armor's next words. "And please be as honest with me as you'd like me to be with you."

The room fell silent once more as Cadance's head snapped back toward him and she blanched. The audience shared guilty looks before, one by one, everyone slowly lowered their hand with shame evident on their features. Everyone, but a scowling Cinch and a still stunned Twilight.

Sugarcoat began munching louder.

Shining Armor's shoulders slumped as surely as Cadance sunk into her chair, and he uttered a small, broken "oh" before dragging himself out of sight. Twilight jumped out of her seat and followed him off stage as Cadance laughed nervously and embarrassingly to herself.

Cinch massaged both her temples with shut eyes with a long groan. "I'm going to have to bribe so many officials to keep this quiet..." she muttered darkly before leveling a glare that could send Fenrir packing at her subordinate. “This is coming out of your wage, young lady."

Cadance sunk further into her seat.