The Gentleman's Side Tales: When the Past Must Be Left Behind
A New Life, or a New Problem?
The Psychopaths are, interesting creatures. When compared to humans, they make humanity's sacrifices look like simple trades with death himself.
Long ago, before the Psychopaths even obtained their trademark name, every single one of them was a regular human. A great war against an unknown extraterrestrial force shook their home planet, Earth. The aliens destroyed several cities, stole countless resources, and killed so many people. In a last ditch effort to stop the madness and descent to extinction, the humans created a grand weapon of astronomical scale. This machine, dubbed The Winter's Stare for its blizzard of death, was eventually activated. It destroyed the alien species in a huge storm of destruction. Earth was spared from a veil created by the machine. This veil kept humanity intact, but it destroyed nearly everyone's sanity. People began hallucinating. Others forgot what morality was and started killing each other in rather gruesome ways. This Age of Insanity, which lasted for about three months, ended when a new hierarchy was established. The strongest of the humans would rule them all, and if he died, the next strongest human would rule. Surprisingly, this system worked, and the humans continued their lives under age filled with madness and deep loyalty.
After about three hundred years of functionality, the entire Psychopath species was about to meet its end. The Winter's Stare not only destroyed the alien force from centuries ago, it also killed nearly everything else in the entire universe. The entire dimension was left sterile, and the Psychopaths were beginning to feel the woes of pollution and fuel shortages. The lack of any coal, oil, or a proper sun left the Psychopaths cold, hungry, and in the dark. Smog clouded Earth in a gentle sheet of death. The seas became putrid with sludge and pollution from the big cities. Entire ecosystems died, and so did millions upon millions of creatures. Earth was dying, and so were the once mighty Psychopaths.
However, Psycho Leader A-034 at the time discovered a new way to fix what has been lost. His idea was brilliant and sadistic to the core. All that the Psychopaths needed was life force.
"It's simple, really," he answered during an interview with Newsatron Inc.. "It involves taking the soul of the creature and converting it into usable fuel. It is clean compared to everything else we can use, and it soothes most of our people's desire to kill. If you think it is a bad idea, come up with some other miracle fuel yourself."
Lyfesavr Industries soon opened shortly after this interview. A machine built to harvest life force, dubbed The Device by its inventors, was placed in the heart of the industry's biggest facility. The Psychopaths searched far and wide for creatures to convert. When they couldn't find any, they had to resort to themselves. Sadly, the Psychopaths were too weak spiritually to generate enough life force.
The planet continued to die, even faster this time from the hunting of multiple animals, and the Psychopaths were still in a hole. A few months after Lyfesavr Industries became active, Psycho Worker G-473 developed an ingenious technology. He became the inventor of dimensional travel. Lyfesavr Industries soon bought his technology for ten trillion chips, about five billion dollars in human currency today. Lyfesavr then created the first mass transportation dimensional portals. These portals could send millions of people to other worlds in record time, and all that it needed was coordinates.
The Psychopaths searched several worlds for some sort of alternative for life force. They tried the Sabrevain, Pixells, Flaama, Craw, Bits, and Clovotrons, but they were all not efficient enough. They almost gave up when they found the humans from the World Wars Universe. Thinking that it was a lost cause, they randomly selected their candidates and harvested them. Surprisingly, the humans were quite efficient for life force harvesting, as they provided eighty times as much life force as the Psychopaths.
But that was fourteen years ago. The planet is still dying, and the Psychopaths are becoming desperate now. Their planet is already so cold to cause hypothermia after a minute of exposure to the air. So many plants and animals have died, and millions of species became extinct. Only about five remain, and that's because the Psychopaths kept those species alive as much as possible. The need for a new world was dire, and it was needed as soon as possible.
Then, as if it was a gift from the gods, a new world rested snugly next to their dimension. This new land was Equestria, a world full of ponies and other strange creatures. Apparently, no humans existed on the planet, but the Psychopaths were too desperate to let a new fuel source slip away. They stole three ponies from random towns and harvested them. To their surprise, the ponies produced seven times more life force than the humans. The Psychopaths were astonished by this discovery and harvested the ponies' DNA. Eventually, Lyfesavr Industries patented the Speciotron, a machine created to specifically convert human DNA into pony DNA. The idea was pure genius. Multiple Psychopaths flocked to be candidates for their people's future. Insane humans entered the machine, and insane ponies exited the machine. Their conversion was slightly random, sometimes giving them a horn, wings, or neither.
This conversion has been occurring for a few months now, and Psycho Pawn M-498 has been called for testing, or at least that's what he thought. He sat in his mucky home for a while, contemplating the risk versus the reward. His house was fairly shabby. There was little to no electricity flowing through it, the place was full of disease despite the absence of any insects or arachnids left to show it, and every piece of furniture and accessory in the house was rather cheap. He watched the television in his home a little more. It was on the Newsatron Channel, the only channel to have any news due to the company's monopoly.
"And it's another glorious day at the Speciotron site!" The reporter was obviously faking her chirpiness. She was a pegasus mare with a curly blue mane and tail. Her coat was a bright red, and her cutie mark did not exist yet. Her big green eyes kept themselves locked on the news camera. She continued her little report as the Speciotron and its line of volunteers steamed with activity. "We have about a million more volunteers that are completely willing to convert themselves, including me. The Psycho Hierarch even stated that he is about to test the new machine for himself."
The screen cut to the Psycho Hierarch, Psycho Leader A-034, sitting at a desk with two other Pyschopaths. All of them were still human. The Psycho Hierarch which did not wear the usual Psychopath helmet and instead wore a pair of blue goggles began to speak. "She's right, everybody. I plan on becoming one of these creatures so that I can lead the new Psychopaths. In fact, I would call this the Age of the Equines! May the strong live on!"
The Psycho Pawn and the other people open the television made their traditional cross over their body with one arm. The Pyscho Pawn, however, was not as ecstatic as the people on television. Maybe it was because he was in a glum mood, or maybe it was because he could get away with it. Not performing the cross correctly could result in execution from the Psycho Hierarch himself.
"I need to deal with this before I'm forced up there," the Psycho Pawn worried to himself. He got up from his couch and combed his hair in the bathroom. He had to keep the rainbow hair as slick as an arch to be accepted into duty. He put on his suit and took his laser rifle as he left his home. He locked the door as he traveled to Lyfesavr's central facility.
The sky was a dark grey. It was completely covered in a smoggy blanket, and the bright sun was nonexistent through the layer. The air was frigid, even when the Psycho Pawn wore his hypothermal suit. The ground was blanketed in a combination of snow, dirt, and dust. He hated Earth so much, and he hated the locals so much too. He longed for the original Earth that the great Patriots, William the Conqueror, the Romans, and the mighty British trekked upon to come back, but he knew that it was a lost cause. What was that promise he heard about Equestria again?
The Psycho Hierarch's voice echoed in his mind. "I promise all of you, my loyal and insane subjects, that this new world is a heaven waiting for us. All of you are eligible to join as long as you become a pony."
Even though he longed for that "heaven" so much, the Psycho Pawn still didn't trust the ponification process. He wanted to be human, not a small horse without any arms or hands. He didn't care if there was a chance he could fly or conduct magic. Both would be useless in a world full of smog and endless winters. Plus, the only real thing that kept him sane was the hair on his head. By law, all Psychopaths had to dye their hair into a rainbow to keep themselves and other people as sane as possible. Apparently, color slightly fixed the insanity problem.
When he eventually reached the front gates of Lyfesavr Industries's grand facility, he swiped his keycard on the keypad next to the door and yawned. The door slid open with a nice beep as he walked through the doorway. On the other side was the receptionist desk and the first set of doors that led to a product management assembly line. This Psycho Pawn's job was to inspect the quality of every mechanical part that made it through the assembly line. If one of the parts was broken or built wrongly, he had to throw it in a deconstruction tray. His job was simple, but it was tedious. Luckily, another human Psycho Pawn, N-023, was assigned to help him. Just like always, N-023 was already there. He was usually one of the first to enter the building.
"Hey, M-498!" he greeted cheerfully. "Did you see the fight on Breakin' Skulls's season finale? You got to love those sudden twists when the assassin gets his head blown off by Skull Breaker's henchmen!"
"Spoiler alert, man," M-498 irritably mumbled. "I didn't see that yet. Anyway, how is inspection going?"
"It's going fine. I only found one defect so far. Some idiot further up the line must've drilled two holes instead of three."
M-498 inspected the defect. It definitely looked ruined. He remembered his little debate to himself about ponification. "Hey, N-023, do you ever wonder why the Psycho Hierarch wants us to turn into ponies?"
"I heard that they do it to make us blend in with Equestria. They don't want us to freak out the locals."
M-498 gave him a dumb look, but it was unseeable through his helmet. "I just saw my neighbor stab four swords into his roommate's head and jaw. I don't think that's something the locals do on a daily basis."
"Why not?"
M-498 examined two more parts as he answered the question. "Their world is colorful as hell, and there are no real signs of evil there. Why would there be mutilation?"
"Wait, you're against killing?" N-023 was assuming a little too much.
"No, I'm saying that they don't do it."
"Oh, I must have misheard you there. Blood is running out of my ears again."
"It's fine." M-498 pondered a little more about ponification. "I just wonder what this new trend is going to do to our species. We're humans, not horses."
"Well, you got to make sacrifices eventually. Remember that history exam on The Great Invasion?"
"No. I skipped that class for war strategizing."
"Well, we gave up our sanity centuries ago to save our species. Now, we're pretty much doing it again, but instead of sanity, we're giving up humanity."
"That's the point!" M-498 was a little too defensive over anthropology. He didn't want all of that to wash away from a Speciotron. "We should be preserving humanity, not destroying it! That's what made us so unique!"
N-023 noticed his colleague's growing anger and attempted to fix it. "I think you need to visit the degenerate sector for a while. I'll work on these defects while you cool off."
"Well, I do need some time to think about this," M-498 thoughtfully stated in only a slight bit of irritation. "I guess I'll calm down and come back later."
M-498 left the product management room and continued down the hall. He kept walking until he reached the second hall on his right. He turned right and kept on walking until he reached the fourth door on his left. The sign above the door read 'degenerate storage'. He opened the door and walked into the room. There was a Psycho Wicked in the room that lacerated and devoured one of the degenerates. Even though the human without any legs was screaming at the top of his lungs, M-498 was not phased by his actions. He already saw too many horrible deaths to turn away from this one.
He sat on a nearby stool and thought about the ponification process again. When a splatter of blood caught his lenses and chest, he snapped at the Psycho Wicked. "Can you at least be a little more clean with your mauling?"
The Psychopath smiled with a bloody and sharp grin and threw the degenerate away from the Psycho Pawn. M-498 the resumed his thinking as the degenerate's screams permeated the room. Now, it looks like a lot of people really want to become ponies, but what happens to their minds? Is this conversion useless, or is it a cure for madness? Whatever it is, it's sucking the humanity out of us. Should we really give up what we are?
A loud beep radiated around the facility as a feminine voice became audible. "All Psycho Pawns from identities N-000 to N-999 need to report to the Speciotron sector immediately."
That voice caught the Psycho Wicked's attention. "Speciotron? What is that?"
"It's a device that turns you into a pony," M-498 answered with slight melancholy.
The Psycho Wicked shot up and grew a wicked grin around his face. "Ponies? Count me in!" The Psychopath slammed the door open and rushed down the halls to the Speciotron sector. The remaining Psycho Grunt could only sigh with worry and uneasiness.
"N-023 must have been called up then," he informed to himself aloud. "I better rest back to work before something bad happens."
He quickly shot the twitching degenerate in the head with his rifle. It was nice to relieve a little stress from the pony craze, and it wasn't like he was killing another Psychopath. Those deformed humans deserved to die anyway.
"Remember, my followers, the weak ones must be left behind!" The Psycho Hierarch's dictator voice echoed in his mind once again. That one phrase automatically started a new fad known by many as the Deformity Cleansing. People from all over the nation would send their deformed children to Lyfesavr Industries to dispose of them. It didn't matter how old they were. Psychopaths were willing to kill anything to relieve themselves.
M-498 traveled down the hallways back to the product management assembly line. He returned to his position and examined the few parts that made their way to the end. Only two out of the twelve parts sitting there were defective. That was fairly normal. Most Lyfesavr Industries facilities usually have a one out of six defect rate. If they were lucky, the rate was one out of nine.
He kept checking the parts for about an hour. A pegasus with a red-orange coat and a gilded mane and tail of several twists entered the room. Its eyes were a dark blue, and its build was masculine in nature. When the stallion noticed M-498, he greeted him with a smile.
"Hey, do you like the new look?" The stallion had the same voice as N-023.
M-498 was shocked by the stallion's looks. "My god, are you-
"That's right buddy! I just got myself an upgrade! Also, I found out something cool that I can do with these wings."
N-023 slowly ascended into midair as he flapped his wings. He then circled around a small area at high speeds, creating a mini tornado. It sucked up all of the defects from the deconstruction tray and spat them out in random directions. When the tornado dissipated to regular air, M-498 was left in complete awe and slight envy.
"How did you do that?" M-498 asked slowly and calmly.
N-023 gave a stupid face to the Psycho Pawn. "Well, I have wings. Why wouldn't I be able to do that?"
"Aw, c'mon, man!" A seething voice from a Psycho Snipe reverberated around the pony and Psycho Pawn. "I just got oil on my boots! Someone better clean up these defects before I have to shove a laser in someone's brain!"
N-023 grinned sheepishly as he grabbed the defects. His quick twists and turns around the room allowed him to pick up all of the defects and place them back in the deconstruction tray.
The Psycho Snipe glanced at the pony with an amused frown. "Huh. Well, next time that happens, I'll use your feathery backside as targeting practice!"
The Psycho Snipe walked off with a menacing chuckle as he stabbed a colleague with the bayonet on his laser sniper rifle. He left the room with the blood of a close coworker and the smile of a douchebag.
M-498 was slightly interested in ponification now, but he was still worried of its effects. Alright, that actually looked pretty cool to have, but that's a one-third chance of obtaining wings. There has to be something else behind this pony body that is actually worth giving up humanity. Wait, what am I saying? No one should give up humanity!
"All Psycho Pawns from identities M-000 to M-999 need to report to the Speciotron sector immediately." The voice boomed around the human Pyscho Pawn.
"Well, I guess it's my turn to be, ponified." He hesitated at the last word, and his voice reeked with worry and irritation.
As he walked out of the room, the remaining pony waved him goodbye. "That's what I like to see! You'll be better in no time, buddy. You won't even have a smidgen of regret."
The Psycho Pawn walked out of the room and straight ahead. He eventually reached a set of double doors at the end of the hall. Above the doors read 'life force harvesting sector'. This was the actual area where the Speciotron was located due to space constraints. In reality, the Psychopaths were too lazy to make a brand new room.
He opened the door and was greeted by a line of about thirty Psycho Pawns. Some of them were shoving and bumped not each other, others actually fought each other for space, and some killed themselves in delight. By the time M-498 was the fifth person in line, ten dead bodies rested on the ground in a peaceful madness of blood and viscera.
I guess it is time to kiss my humanity goodbye, he thought pessimistically. Why can't I just refuse to do this?
He was now first in line. The human Psycho Borg next to the machine's entrance waved his scattergun to the direction of the opening. "You're next, soldier. Stay calm, as this machine does not intend to harm you in any way."
M-498 walked into the machine and closed his eyes. His feet touched the conveyor belt as a dark mist surrounded his body. Multiple claws removed the suit and helmet from his body, leaving him bare. Multiple needles pricked his arms, legs, chest, and head. His entire body felt numb from the injections, and he could feel alterations in his body.
His fingers and toes slowly meshed together into solid, cylindrical masses. These masses soon hardened into hooves. His arms and legs changed shape and size. He could feel himself shrinking in size as his legs shortened. His skin bubbled to a healthy pink and smothered itself in a white coat. His body hunched over and soon forced him on all fours. He could feel a teal and cyan tail spring out of his rump as his hair changed texture, thickness, and placement. His eyes widened and stretched into two large plates on his face. His nose and mouth twisted into a muzzle that fit snugly on his shifting head. A bony horn sprouted out of his forehead, surging with magical potential. His ears heightened and morphed into two floppy ends. He neck bent back on his chest and forced his head upwards. He was now fully converted.
The conveyor pushed him out of the dark mist and into the bright light of the room. His purple eyes opened and examined he area around him. Everything looked taller than normal, or he felt shorter than normal. He looked down and saw his two forelegs struggling to adapt to the new body. His mane wooshed lightly above his big eyes. He wanted to scream, but he decided not to cause a scene.
Bright lights flashed in the back of eyes. His mind shifted from clouds of darkness to several lovely colors. Multiple visions of ways to kill someone stayed the same, but the background burst into all of the colors of the rainbow. He felt, happier, but he still felt sadistic and irritated.
"Enjoy the new you," another emotionless, human Psycho Borg stated as he nudged M-498 away from the machine. "Return to your duties until further notice."
M-498 walked out of the room. He used a single hoof to push a door outwards. He then traveled all the way back to the production management assembly line. N-023 was waiting there. When he noticed M-498's new body, he beamed in excitement.
"You got a horn? No way! Try it out!"
"Wait, what?" He could barely see his own horn from his angle of vision.
"You got a horn. Here, try it out." N-023 handed a defect and placed it on the floor. "Use your mind to lift that defect."
M-498 kept his eyes focused on the defect. After about three seconds of mental strain, a silvery grey glow shimmered around his horn. Soon enough, another silver glow wrapped around the defect. The shimmering continued as the defect lifted from the ground and next to M-498.
M-498 grinned and tested something else. A wall of fire surrounded his body as flames sprouted from nothing. He then hurled multiple flames at the defects in the deconstruction tray, melting them into a metal slop as a result.
N-023 could only watch his destruction and power in awe. "Dude, you're gifted. I've never seen a unicorn do that type of magic so easily in my entire life."
"How is this difficult?" M-498 withdrawn his magic and gave his colleague as confused grin. "It's just thinking."
"I wish I could do that," the pegasus hoped. "You got the cool powers."
"Psycho Pawn M-498 is needed at the Psycho Hierarch's office immediately." The voice boomed again with the same feminine charm.
M-498 only grinned at his own drink of power and potential as he marched down to the office.
•—————•
It has been months since that fateful day. M-498 relished that event ever since. After he discovered the epicness of Equestrian magic, he never frowned at losing his humanity ever again. In fact, he felt so badass that he whipped the Psycho Snipe from earlier by roasting his face and legs in fire. Due to his extreme success in magic, the Psycho Hierarch promoted him to Psycho Mage status. He was sent to Equestria with the rest of the defending forces during the Settlement of Cloudsdale.
He walked around the dark corridors of the revamped Cloudsdale Weather Factory with two Psycho Storms on his sides. He conversed with them as they patrolled the halls.
"Are you up to this?" one of the Psycho Storms asked the Psycho Mage in worry. "I heard that these intruders are tough."
"They're nothing," the Psycho Mage answered cockily. "That purple unicorn is the only one that looks like trouble, but her wimpy sorcery is nothing to mine. I bet I can beat her without you two."
The same Psycho Storm laughed nervously. "Yeah, I bet so too, fella. We'll stick around anyway, okay?"
"Alright. Anyway, do you think they reached the first metallurgy sector yet?"
"Maybe. We should check it just in case."
The trio walked around the area and took several lefts and rights. They eventually reached a vacant doorway that led into a room of pooling metal.
The Psycho Mage turned around and checked the corridors behind him. Nothing was nearby. He turned his head to the same Psycho Storm. "I think we should guard here, just in case."
"I think so too," the Psycho Storm agreed with determination. "We got them here."
A loud explosion from the halls shook the area as several Psycho Sentries collided into a mess of death. What followed after was a high-pitched and feminine voice. It oozed in ecstasy. "These things are so weak! At least I can save up my supplies!"
"Yeah, I think that is a pretty good thing personally," another voice with a southern accent stated. "These things are kind of too tough for us."
"That sounds like a battle to me." the Psycho Mage grinned sinisterly at the approaching voices. "This will be too easy."
The worst part of his small statement was that he met a terrible fate shortly after. It is nice what ideas do further down the road, especially promotions, conversions of cities, and ponification. Who knew that such a combination would lead to his eventual demise.
