Fallout Equestria: Devil's Luck

by Chokfi

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 9331

Loaded Dice has a lot of luck, but some people don't like that. Especially with a name like that. Still, he has

Stuck in an awkward position, because he always wins games of chance , Lucky Devil has to figure his way around the Caledonian Wasteland. But Caledonia's not doing so hot, because the conflicts in the north are making them uncomfortable and flighty.

The Gangs and other factions are fighting, Ties with equestria are in turmoil, and heroes keep popping up all over the place. None of this is making it easy for Devil to do his new jobs.

So, maybe it's time he check out a new area, a place where he can avoid the gang leaders and over-sized mares who think he cheats at his games.

Published 2017-09-05 22:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-18 15:47:41 UTC

Prologue: Gambit

Prologue: Gambit
"Most of us regard good luck as our right, and bad luck as a betrayal of that right."

War never changes... I've heard so many ponies say that line over and over like it makes them wise, but it's a lie. Wars change. Reasons for battle change. Tactics change. We used to fight in the open, one to one, but then decided to asasinate and changed war forever. We used to fight over petty things, like land and food, but then we learned to fight over ideology. No, the only thing that truly never changes is Chance.

From when the first ponysaurus evolved two brain-cells to rub together we have been fascinated with chance. From throwing bones to dice. From poker to caravan. There are only two options, to win or to loose. No, War changes. But luck, luck never changes.

When I first opened my eyes on the faithful morning that wouldn't really change my life, nothing was different. The first thing I saw was the plain tarnished ceiling of the hotel I was renting a room in. Feeling the warmth beside me I saw a pretty mare, with an orange mane and grey coat. Her cuteness was doubled due to the cutest little freckles, covering her nose from cheek to cheek. After taking a second to stare I got back to business and tossed a bag of caps beside her on the bed.

I didn't care if I had hired her or not, she was quite the catch, so I thought she deserved something for her time. I slipped quickly into my dapper brown suit, with my small bolo tie with the vault 21 poker chip standing in the center. That was the only thing I had left of my old life, the only thing that I could remove at least. I placed on my nose a pair of glasses, and without even a look back I used my magic to grab my gun, a simple long barrel .357 magnum, which I placed in my hip-holster.

I was a gambler, and I never left anyone un-fleeced if I could. But according to the passports I was a courier. I always followed through with my orders, but they were often left by the wayside while I did whatever else I had to do. Usually that meant gambling for a while, and showing off my luck at the tables. This made me... less than popular for important packages. But this town needed someone's help.

Walking down the stairs I stared at my pip-buck, looking at the order I had gotten from the courier office.

[] Deliver a message from the local office of Nanny Jane to Timber.

Seemed simple enough, so I went down to the gambling pits, my home away from home. The only reason I couldn't just live off my winnings was the policy of cutting you off at a certain point, which meant I could only live for so long. I was ready to get this damn job done with in any case. I moved across the town, following the marker on my map to the store of one Nanny Jane. I'd heard nasty things about her, that she marked up her prices.

Still she owned the main store in town, where the courier service I worked for had their station. Not that I particularly needed to be a courier, it was just the best job in the wasteland for someone who traveled alot and didn't care about a bit of danger. Honestly I loved that extra bit of chance in my life. It also made it easier for me to find out of the way towns with casinos, where my luck came in handy in getting me some caps.

When I walked over to the store there was a small crowd gathered around, which I moved through as best I could, my small frame allowing me to get in between ponies and easily to the head of the crowd. Outside was a pony that was obviously the deputy, a young stallion with a red neckerchief and denim shirt. "What's going on here?" I asked, moving forward and talking to the deputy.

"Well, it's a crime scene. Nanny Jane was shot during the storm last night." Fuck, that wasn't good. "Nothing was taken, as far as we can tell, but it's a mess in there. We can't be sure."

"I have to get in there, I'm a courier." I said, looking him up and down. "If you can just get me the letter from the courier station, I'll be on my way." He looked me up and down but shrugged and got me the letter.

"The station will be down for a couple of days, you won't be able to return through here until then." He said, before gesturing for me to leave on my way. I did so with a thankful attitude. If it wasn't for this pony's help I would have had to sneak into the store and steal it.

Footnote!
Lucky Devil

STR: 2
PER: 5(-)
END: 2
CHA: 6
INT: 6
AGI: 9(+)
LCK: 10

Small Frame: Your weak, a small little thing with brittle little bones. You gain +1 Agility and enemies have a -5 penalty to hit you, but your limbs suffer 25% more limb damage. This does not affect actual damage taken.

Four Eyes: Your effective Perception increases by one while wearing glasses. Whenever not wearing glasses, you suffer a -1 penalty to your Perception.

Chapter 1: Transversale

Chapter 1: Transversale
"Life is like playing russian roulette with a loaded rifle, it doesn't matter what you do, you always get the bullet."

As I walked down the path I switched on the radio to see if anything interesting was on. It seemed I was catching the last of a radio message. “The reports have been verified that a huge explosion reminiscent of a Balefire bomb has gone off in the heart of Equestria. What's more, the elusive Enclave have been seen outside of their clouds for the first time... ever. What this means for Dise, and our very own Enclave Remnants here in Dise remains to be seen. We'll be reporting back with more news, as it becomes available,”

Bull, as always, of course. Not much was realy useful in these broadcasts, not anything I could use. I let it run into music as I continued to walk, a long and horrible walk. It took me half a day to get there, and something was odd about the town. The last time I'd passed through timber there had been an NCA presence, now there was... nothing?

"Hey, who's in charge here?" I asked, walking into the saloon. "It seems that in the last week or two you've gotten yourself new management." I stared around the place. There seemed to be less ponies here as well, but that was to be expected if the NCA protections had gone down... and I could smell blood on the air, old blood, but blood none the less.

"Yeah, we're under new management. The Sharif is grimy over there, if you care to talk to him." The bartender pointed across from herself to a pony in the corner. So I simply walked over and pulled up a chair to his table. Without a word I slipped the letter across to him.

Pulling it open he read it, then stared back at me. "how did this come so quickly?" he asked, a warble in his voice. "I've only been Shariff here for a week at most."

"Not sure. What's it say?" I asked, not realy caring. I wondered if this town had a casino to use. "I'm not allowed to peak at the letters, company policy you know."

"Never you mind child, I think I'll have a response for you to return to sender. Just give me a day or two." He thought for a second. "You know, you might be able to help me out. You see, there's an infestation in old timber. NCA didn't think it was worth their time."

"What's it to me? I'm not the extermination type." I said, picking dirt from my hood with my magic. To be honest, I was tempted. No matter how dangerous the outside world was, there simply wasn't anything like gambling against the celestial dealer. Especially not when you knew how often you'd win, like I did. "What kind of infestation."

"Raiders." He sad nonchalantly "They were some of the ones who used to trade, took over the town in the last couple of days said they were the last people with some reason to own those things. Frankly, I just don't like them staring at my town, and it makes the towns-ponies nervous."

"And how much is the contract?" I asked, still not convinced. I loved a good fight, but I wasn't exactly strong enough to do much. I usualy didn't really care to fight living breathing ponies, even ghouls occasionally gave me the willies. But it wasn't a moral thing, I was willing to put a bullet in the head of anyone given the right odds and reward.

"Hmm... 100 caps and you get to keep all the loot you find. Some of those places are full of stuff, they used to be owned by traders who traded with raiders. The rest, well... They were where these ghouls originated from." He smiled a wan grin and Continued his way.

"Fine, but only after I spend some time gambling at your local casino." I wasn't going to get my suit dirty before THAT. He nodded and I walked out of the room, grinning. Deciding to test my luck.

Quest Complete

As I walked into the casino I was blocked by some NCA officers, or... were they? Their uniforms were unkempt, and some of them seemed to have tried to rip off their patches or remove everything but their hats. Deserters. "Well, hello there friends..." I said, calm as ever as I watched their eyes and mannerisms. "What can I do for you?"

"This is our casino now, and we're enacting a tax." their leader said, the only remnant of her uniform being a green beret leaning off to one side. "Fifty caps." She seemed serious, and her unicorn magic was clearly wrapped around the baton that was strapped to her waist. However, I couldn't just let them here.

"Alright, two options." I said, staring into their eyes as I did my best to glare. I wasn't that intimidating, with my small frame, but my crimson eyes seemed to embolden my claims if I stared them right in the eyes. "Either I take out my peice, and shoot you all dead." I lifted my gun out slightly to prove a point. "Or you take one hundred fifty caps, and leave this town forever. Your choice." Of course, it wasn't that much of a choice, and given how much I had rigged the odds, of course they took my offer.

As they left, a stallion came from the back of the casino and grinned at me, holding out a hoof. "Glad you could drive those fuckers out." He said, letting me take his hoof and shake it. "We can actually open up for business. I took over this old building just a few days ago, and set up all the games, but those ponies decided to drive their way in and threatened me. I never got the time to talk to the sheriff about it, and those ponies did provide business, but maybe now I can have real customers. Why don't you go and get yourself some chips and sit down, I'll give you a drink on the house.

I accepted the drink, a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass, as well as the idea of getting some chips to gamble with. I slipped the last of my caps, just about three or four hundred, and got all the chips I needed. Soon I started winning, uninterruptedly, at the easiest game. Blackjack always turned out right for me, no matter how bad I got at it, so I kept on going and winning, doubling down every time I hit under 14.

It wasn't long before a crowd formed around me, as the establishment keeping an eye on my magic to make sure I didn't do any cheating. After I got a good hand, and went from 450 to 650 they pulled me away from my game. Sure, it was to give me a gift of 20 chips, but it was to throw off my game. And lowe, lady luck saw fit to take those away from me immediately, along with another 150 or so chips.

After that I decided to move to the roulet table for a bit, something that they wouldn't accuse me of cheating because I didn't need to use my horn for anything during the spin. I didn't win as often as I did at blackjack, but I still did win. In fact, I won enough to get to another major milestone of chips, doubling what I had at the beginning until I had 1300 chips. Again they pulled me away from my game, but this time to give me something MUCH more appreciated. A stealth boy, something that I often needed.

Finally I moved to the slot machines, the one place that no one could think I was cheating, because there were anti-magic
wards cast upon the things. Still it was far too slow going, and it took me nearly as long as the last couple things had to just get another couple hundred scraped by, when they gave me a set of leather armor... a useless gift. However, I was able to figure out the heat was no longer on me, so I went back to the blackjack tables.

I won and lost 200 chips at a time. I continued to have a fairly consistent win to loose ratio, leaving me on the win side. But it wasn't until I got a wonderful win of 400 chips, which ended me up at 2800 chips, a grinning fool. But still, I felt a hoof on my shoulder. Looking behind me there they were, a large pony with an indeterminate sex, who's coat matched the sand that littered the assault outside.

"OK high roller, that's it. You've been cut off by the casino's gambling rules, you can drink but you can't bet any more, have a good day." I sighed and nodded, taking my winnings to the counter and trading them in for caps. That included the armor, no thank you, but I certainly was happy to keep the stealth boy. With a grin I took my stealthboy and left. This was all I really needed, and I loved it.

Level Up!

New Perk:

Rapid Reload: Your Reload time is 25% faster, and 20% cooler.

Chapter 2: Rolling Bones

Chapter 2: Rolling bones
"When I first came to do shows in Vegas, I followed the usual entertainer's syndrome - I played craps and lost."

As I passed out of town, on my way to the old ruins, I moved to the side of the road. All I could see there was a ripped open refrigerator, with a skeleton inside. "What kind of idiot crawls inside of a refrigerator to die?" I asked myself, poking a hoof at the dumb pony's remains. At that point I did see something interesting however, a hat. A brown fedora that, although it was slightly weathered, seemed to have survived whatever had killed this poor unfortunate soul.

Somewhat irreverent to the pony's current condition, I yanked the fedora out of the fridge and placed it on my own head. I would have to repair it soon enough, but it was certainly closer to my style than any other hat I'd ever gotten. Placing it on my head, getting the sun out of my eyes, certainly helped me see the town I was approaching. It wasn't very far from timber, but they had stayed away from the old town when they built the new.

Old Timber was a T cross section, with several buildings closer to the entrance, and one large one across from it. The Large building looked to be a former hotel, one that was so run down in comparison to the other buildings that I knew immediately that it would be the home of the ghouls. However, my train of thought was cut off by the apearance of a red light on my EFS.

Taking out my trusty revolver, I slowly approached, trying to sneak a bit to get the element of surprise. And there he was, the raider fool who had decided to patrol the streets of his new town. Without a word, or even a bit of forethought, I took out my gun, centered the iron-sights on the pony, and pulled the trigger. For whatever reason I seemed to cause the pony's head to explode into a bunch of small meaty bits.The loud cracking sound certainly alerted everyone around me, I was sure, and the obviousness of this pony's death would do the rest.

However, that turned out to not be the case, as for some reason the pony who was only FIVE FEET AWAY appeared to have not noticed my shot. This was... Frankly disconcerting, as I wasn't exactly using a stealthy weapon here, but I took my luck and ran with it anyways. My first shot grazed his shoulder, getting his attention. And my second dug into his chest as he started to run my way. My third and fourth weren't very useful either, but my fifth landed in the middle of his chest with a satisfying thwack and his EFS light extinguished, to my delight.

Carefully I stood up and scanned the area around me, but no other hostiles appeared to be close enough for me to do anything about, which was pretty damn useful as my gun, it seemed, was no longer full of ammunition, and which took me a good four or five seconds to reload, getting everything out and pumping things in. Admittedly, it had to be alot easier with magic than to try to do the same without.

As I explored the small group of standing pre-war buildings, I made sure to keep my eye on my EFS. However, looking at it, I couldn't see anyone else close enough for it to detect. The only thing to do was to explore some areas. The smallest building that I could see was a small former-store front with a dead pony outside. Searching the corpse, I found a courier pass, along with a letter that I stashed within my saddle bags.

Moving into the building, I heard a single pony routing through the stuff in the back, so I snuck up to him and tapped his shoulder, startling the piss out of the oblivious raider. Using levitation to move the gun, I placed it on the back of his head, and fired when he turned to look at me. I dis-regarded his extremely worn equipment to go back to the front room, which appeared to have been the former owner's work station.

Sitting upon the table was a robot, something that I remembered from when I was much younger, and something that I wished that I could manipulate. The large machine was nearly two feet tall, and appeared to be a sphere.

Sighing, I examined it, but my low skills in anything related to science or mechanics made me completely unable to even discern if it was broken or didn't have a source of power. So I left the sprite-bot alone and walked away. But on the shelf something caught my eye, the glowing white form of a sparkle cola quartz.

With a gasp and a jump I scooped the thing up in my magic and pressed the lukewarm glass to my cheek. If there was one thing that I loved more than booze, it was a good bottle of quartz. But they were rare, and whenever I did find them they were worth hundreds of caps. I couldn't believe my luck that I had found one just lying in this place.

Actually, I could believe my luck, and I smiled softly at the thought as I placed it carefully in my bag. More than any other object here, that one drink was worth the 'quest' and all of the hassle I was having in this damnable town.

After another hour of shooting and looting I had gotten a good amount of things and I had found almost everything I possibly could. I had killed another three ponies, who were staked out in high places where they seemed to be almost inhibited by the odd structure they sat on. They tried to shoot down at me, but I prevailed by taking a huff of steady and lucking out on a few long shots from my revolver.

I looted their corpses and piled the weapons and things in the center of town, scrounging parts for my revolver but little else to pile onto the already weakened frame. Instead I kept myself light, filling up on drugs and other light things that would fill my wallet. Finally I started to explore the few remaining buildings. Grabbing everything and tossing it out the window into the pile in the center of town. At which point there were exactly two things in my way.

Right in the front of the largest building in town there was a locked door. And just across from it, under a desk, there was a locked safe. Celestia knew what was in either, but I wasn't completely equipped to get them out of the way. So I began to study a locksmith's magazine I had found, coincidentally, only 40 feet away on one of my slain foes.

With the tips and tricks in that magazine, I was able to crack open the safe, and quickly get the door open as well. Success. Behind the door was a vault, a room that appeared to have been used by the traders as their most valuable weapons hold. The thing held several weapons and other things, none of which particularly interested me except for their value, along with drugs and alcohol which seemed much more appealing.

The safe, however, was filled with a good pile of bottle caps along with something that I wasn't really sure of. Something that I thought must be a hallucination. The most gorgeous gun in the west. The carved ivory handle beat the hell out of the steer-horn one that adorned my usual gun. The long barell matching my own, though the complexity of the intricate work cought my eye as well.

The gun's name was stamped on it's side, in scrawling and ornate handwriting, Fortune. On it's handle, inlaid in what appeared to be some sort of black gemstone, was a spades symbol. The most recognizable notation of luck, and my favorite card in any deck. I didn't care about anything else, and nearly through my regular gun at a wall as I slipped Fortune into my belt. It almost seemed to glow in my magic, as if the painted and engraved scrawling patterns on it's side were filled with my magic's power.

Without another look at the town, I scooped up the most valuable weapons, repairing them as best I could with my minimal skill and the other spare parts, and walked back to town. Fortune hung at my hip perfectly, and beautifuly, and it stood impressive as I marched into town with a grin on my lips.

"Welcome back!" The sheriff said with a smile, and I smiled back with a wink. "Good to be back. I brought my loot with me, but I would recommend going there and getting everything else before even more raiders come and get it." With that, I marched into the little store in town and sold everything I could, spending all my money on ammo for Fortune.

Level Up!

Skill milestone: Lock pick 65

Chapter 3: Black Bet

Chapter 3: Black Bet
My life experience has taught me nothing happens by chance. Even the idea of the ball in a roulette game: it's not chance it ends up in a certain place. It's forces that are at play.

"Thanks for helping out the town." The sheriff said, looking at me apraisingly as he handed me his response to my initial letter. "Your sure you can't do anything else to help?"

"No, I'm not sure, but I'm also not in the helping mood." I said with a stiff look. I tipped my gambler's hat over my eyes. "I have other places to be, other things to see. And that, well, that means going back to the city.

I pointed at the towers of dise in the distance, smiling as I walked out of town.my new gun was on my hip, and honestly, after unloading everything else from my person and grabbing a few extra playing cards, I couldn't feel better.

My marching through the desert was relatively uneventful. Sure, I passed by little shacks and old world gas stations and things. But relay, I wasn't some idiot who would walk into every single little shack in hopes of finding loot. They were filled with bugs and raiders and other icky things, and more often then not held nothing particularly useful. Still, finding them gave a pleasant ding on my pip-buck and I sometimes sold their locations to prospectors.

So what did I do instead? hide. I hid from everything I could, including warriors of all types, and of course including the wildlife. I never felt particularly good about dispatching the less powerful wildlife. A few bullets in a rad-scorpions tail and it was dead, and the same could be said of a small gecko.

I avoided a few beaten up roads trying to lead me into a town that I knew had no gambling den. One that, in the distance, I could see had caught to fire. I didn't care if it was a minotaur incursion, or if it was a fucking fire gecko attack. Smoke was bad news, especially considering how little use that fucking place was. I did, however, mark their destruction in my notes to give to the nearest NCA settlement... for a reasonable price.

There was actually a pretty nice town on the way, one that happened to be right near a NCA outpost with one of the few rangers manning it. As I wandered toward it I happened to meet a caravan group, which I happily sold a few things to and picked up some special shotgun ammunition. Sure I didn't really need it, but I just couldn't resist Dragons-breath. The caravan was well protected, which was certainly a good thing due to the fact that within minutes they were attacked.

Maybe my luck just rubbed off on them wrong or something, but they were attacked by a troop of goats just minutes after I met them, half way to the little town/base that I was trying to get to. Thankfully the caravan was able to dispatch them with minimal casualties, and the goats ignored me completely. I looted the corpses, and then sold their wears to the mare that had just dispatched several of the goats herself... But she didn't seem to mind. Blinking idiot she was.

When I finally marched into town, leading the caravan and then leaving them to trade, I was particularly happy. I had little to no doubt that everything would go well, and I could have a relaxing time in a high-roller's suite back in Dise. Luck is lovely when the lady shines down on ya, and that was certainly something that always intrigued me. For some reason my luck was always just that tad bit more useful, although that was coupled with a relative inability for me to figure out my odds. Because I was so lucky 90% of the time, I never really was able to calculate my odds and make an informed decision rather than a gutsy one.

Really I should have known that when I went into town, as I walked right up to the NCA camp and let one of the guards know about the Goats in the area, and how I had seen the town in the distance burn. "Troubling." the guard said, which was kind of an understatement. "I'll let my superiors know, thank you for the information."

After taking care of that I walked into the town proper, just a minute away. It wasn't technically directly under the NCA's boot-heal, but it was certainly submissive to them. The little town was known for it's connection to a paleontologist dig. Getting it's name from one of the leading pony's last name. That of a Miss Petunia Paleo. The Paleo motel had a giant skeletal spiny-back Ponysaurus that few saw due to the remoteness of this direction.

Paleo was nice enough, and I went there for a place to store my crap. Most of my rooms were the one for the high rollers in the casinos. And when you have those rooms, well, they wern't that comfortable. So instead I rented a room here to store things, 100 caps a year. I had been in a while, so I stepped up to old granny Tyranna.

"Ah, so your back Gambler." She said, smiling at me from behind the desk that was littered with souvenirs and even some old ponysaurus bones. "Well, your usual room is kept upstairs. You should be glad most ponies are superstitious about bad luck, or I might just have given your room up, you've been so long."

"Been doing work in the north recently. And you know bad luck doesn't effect me." I grinned and forked over the caps to her. "I hope you haven't dipped into my liquor. You crazy old bat." With a laugh and a shake of hooves, I went up and flopped down on my bed. There was a stuffed yagaoi on my bed, a cuddly little ball of floof that I loved to sleep with... once I got a few bottles in me.

So I drank myself to sleep. One whole bottle of wiskey, shot after shot after shot. Each sip filling me with extacy. Now, I wasn't an alcoholic, I spent too many caps to have a chemical dependency, but I had worked up quite the resistance to being poisoned by the stuff. So I drank, until I fell asleep. The next morning I would have to move on.

Level Up!

Skill milestone: Lockpick 75

New Perk:

Egghead: Congrats, you're a nerd. But don't feel too bad, we're nerds too. Just be happy and take your 2 extra skill points per level.

Chapter 4: Baccarat

Chapter 4: Baccarat
"A pack of cards is the devil's prayer-book.”

The next morning I woke up in a stouper, hugging my teddy close to me. He smelled like booze and shit, and so did I. My mind seemed blanked from the previous night, and I could bearly remember where I was.

I got up and unlatched the door only to see a stallion outside. Only vuegely did I recognize him, a tall NCA officer I had met before. Honestly, he was kind of good looking as I scanned his flanks. I couldn't remember his name, but I'd spent some time with him before.

"Ah, devil!" He said in a cheery, far too loud, voice. "Tyrana told me you'd be up here. I was hoping to catch you at a good time." He grinned which seemed to flash with the power of the sun. Which was definitely not trying to blind me with nine inch iron spikes, nope.

"Yeah, I'm here, what do you want?" I asked, taking my telekinesis and throwing a soft fluffy thing at him. It was only after it started to fall over the edge that I noticed it was the yaogui, and I ran over to try to catch it. "No, teddy!" I said with a yell, before catching it with my telekinesis and tossing it back into the room behind me.

The stallion laughed, staring at me with a wide toothed grin. "So, you still play with toys devil? I wouldn't have taken that for someone as ruthless as you." He shrugged. "In any case, I have a job for you. I may not be a real member of the NCA anymore, but I have more than enough of a budget to pay you off. Which means, well, I've got a job for you."

"There's a resurch facility up north, used to be a personal favorite of a few ponies, but it was mostly disregarded by Luna's government due to... personal issues with the mission statement. The porpoise was to launch ponies into space. To the moon, if you catch my drift.

"Well, there are piles and piles of resurch in there. Along with lots of equipment, and roamers of magical energy weapons. It was one of a few dozen remote facilities that was funded by equestrian powers, specificaly the MAS and MWT. It was owned by their military, not by ours."

The stallion stressed the word ours, drawing back from equestrian and trying to show his loyalty to Caledonia. "In any case, it was supposed to be safe here. And it was. It didn't get hit by any bombs, and it's funding didn't shut off until the end. There is alot of very useful information in there.

"Now we get to what I want you to do. Frankly, I need an agent. Someone who can go in and remove a certain... obstruction to our taking control of the facilities. There are ghouls, and lots of them. We don't know what's calling them but, well, I know you can clear the fuckers out. Do that, and you get paid."

"Well, OK, but a couple things first." I said, staring directly into his eyes with my own piercing red ones. "One, what makes you think I need to get paid. I have hit the jackpot enough times to have a large enough settlement in my coffers. And second, well, I don't like going out of my way."

"Well, in addition to your payment, I've gotten conformation that this will get you enough friends here in Paleo that your room will be done and paid for. But if you don't care about that." I sighed. He knew that this was one place I was always sinking caps into. Plus, I had been lieing before, I did need money. For alot of things. I nodded pensively, I was in.

I marched along the road from Paleo to the testing facility with an odd feeling in my heart. Now, I knew that these ghouls would be feral, so I didn't mind much about shooting them right in the head. Fortune had run out of ammo, so all I had was a single shotgun I had lying around my room. At least I would be able to try out some good old fashioned dragons-breath rounds. But first, I loaded it up with slugs.

I had no qualms about killing feral ghouls, and from the moment I saw the first one I knew that's hat they would be. But I still attempted to sneak past them... to no avail. Instead, when I was noticed by one, I immediately cocked my gun and shot him between the eyes. The ironic thing was how easy it was. And how, somehow, I was no longer seen by the others once I dispatched the first.

I had my eyes on my rhetorical, staring down at my EFS and saw each of them, red marks, but completely passive. So, I went up and shot them one by one. A slug blew one's brains out, Dragons-breath lit another on fire, and a third was ripped apart by buckshot. It was easy, it was fun.

However, when I moved in through the front doors of the building I was cut off by a voice on the intercom. "Smoothcoat. Yes, you, numskull. You need to find your way to the metal staircase in the east wing." He seemed to cough slightly. "Oh, and try to refrain from killing our breatheren? Another one dead is another one we can't save."

That meant stealth. So I began to sneak across the floors. However, this building was massive, and I was easily lost. I think I made the first turn wrong, to the point where I was stepping through the halls and into a place that seemed to be half office and... classroom? I wasn't sure, I hadn't seen many places that were filled with chalkboards. But I supposed that it must just be how the scientist ponies did their work.

My movement was temporarily hindered by the fact that every few feet I felt the search to loot or check something on a computer. So occasionally I did allow myself to easily slip into a computer and check their emails, noticing an odd trend. Half of the, mostly corrupted, emails came from management and displayed the logo of robronco: A hoofington manufacturer.

This was odd seeing as we were litteraly on the other side of equestria from the Hoof. I should know, I had always intended to avoid it like the plague. Still, there wasn't a map anywhere, or any real useful information. The only thing I could really care about was apparently this facility had been used for a military supply chain through Caledonia.

The breakthrough came in when I found a single, much more important office. This was the offices of the manager, and I closed the door behind me only to be assaulted by the smell of a rotting corpse. I walked around the desk and I saw it there, the manager, dead in his chair. And then he moved.

I hadn't been watching my EFS, and the suddenness of the movement sent me into a shock. I immediately shot the ghoul right in the head, before even knowing if he was feral or not.. But he certainly looked the part in retrospect. Still, I brushed him aside, thankfully far enough away that the ghouls I could hear just outside didn't think to look into the office.

I looked at the monitor on that desk and began to read alot of very interesting Ministry of Arcane Science dealings. They had been shipping Stealth-bucks to the front-lines right through here. I looked at the map, marking things down on my pip-buck before wandering over to the safe. Inside were a pair of the pip-bucks, which together were worth more than most of the things I had on me... this was fantastic.

So, finally, I made my way to the metal staircase with minimal disturbance. I didn't even have to shoot any more of the ghouls. And, after a short and snippy conversation I made my way in through the door. Based on the voice I had been expecting a ghoul, and I wasn't disappointed, the entire massive two story room was filled with working ghouls. Each of them was doing something, and their equipment was extremely wonderful. I was astounded, no wonder my friend had wanted the place.

"Right this way Smoothcoat." One of the ghouls said, frowning at me as he walked me up through a few groups. There, working at a massive chalkboard with tons of complicated queasiness was an extremely radioactive Earthpony Ghoul. "Dr Brightfur, the smooth-skin is here. He might be able to help with our problem..."

"Problem?" I asked, pensive. "I'm here to try and get, well, you out. What exactly is this... problem?"

"Oh, don't worry!" Brightfur said in an oddly echoy voice. "We will be leaving quite soon. We just have a couple preparations to make, which are being impeded by demons." It was hard to tell but he had a wild look in his eye, like a cult leader.

"Well, what kinds of demons." For all I knew these could be anything from mutated monstrosities, to rad-roaches, to his imagination. You couldn't really take someone seriously who was on the point of raving mad and wearing a lab-coat that only had the second-half of a name tag on it left.

"Invisible things. Killed our people. It's... hard to say honestly." He grinned with a gap-toothed ghoulish grin. "Once you take care of them, we can all leave to the moon. That's where we belong."

"Wait, the moon?" I asked, looking him up and down as my pipbuck continued to click. "They don't like ghouls in Dice proper, at least not most of it. And you, well, I don't think you could make it close to the doors without being shot."

"No no no, To the moon woman!" he said, grabbing me and making me uncomfortable with his squishy radioactive flesh. He pointed to the sky, obscured by several stories worth of other floors. "Bing bang boom! Right to the moon!"

"Oh, well, whatever makes you happy..." I just backed up and tried to get the fuck out of there. "I'll, uh, try and get rid of the demons. Ok?" He just nodded and got back to his work, as I sighed and gratefully ran downstairs. I wasn't sure if these demons were real or not, but I wasn't going to take any chances. This place was freaking me out more and more every minute.

Level Up!

Skill milestone: Sneak 50

Chapter 5: Liar's Dice

Chapter 5: Liar's Dice
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

After a couple minutes of standing next to the glowing ghoul I was extremely happy to vacate his vacinity. And I was even happier to try and deal with his 'demon' problem. I wasn't sure weather the 'invisible creatures' were real or imagined, especially since I was just then using a stealthbuck to get me through.

I jumped down from the high grating to get to the ground, moving silently and invisibly through the hallways with my stealthbuck obscuring everything.it wasn't long before I managed to make it to the basement door, key in magic, and I was able to unlock it. Past the door was a collection of hallways, vuegely simular to the vault I spent my first few years in, that had survived 200 years without any issues.

I couldn't see the demons, but I could hear them. And, with a bit of staring off in the same place, I was able to see the telltale shimmer of an invisible pony. Well, it could have been something else, but the sounds it made seemed like those of a four legged creature. Not knowing where to go from here I went left, which ended up being a mistake. Instead of a leader or some information on these demons, I found a narrow figure 8 that had a locked door at the end of it. I couldn't get through that door, so I turned around, only to find my way patrolled by an invisible demon.

This creature was one I could see, because I could tell where it was by the glow of it's weapon. Somehow the invisible creature could keep the flamethrower invisible with it, but the lit end of thing seemed to be spewing small Sparks at all times leading to the fact that the invisible creature was completely easy to spot.

Of course, I just got out of it's way. Unlike the other creatures I had had a hard time avoiding, this one was extremely easy and undercomplicated. I took it and explored the rest of the place for another few minutes, finding 'empty' room upon room. Each one mocked me with it's absence of anything I could see. My stealthbuck was about to run out when I tumbled into a room and saw... It.

The tall blue creature looked like a goddess for a second, especially because of how powerful it's stance was, and I was tempted to bow to it like Luna. However, as my invisibility fell from me, I found myself unable to do anything... In reverance or in mocking anger. Instead I simply stood there and, dispute being peralized by fear, I stared calmly at the demon and spoke.

"Hello. I am called Lucky Devil. I am here on behalf of the ghouls upstairs and in turn the folk of Paleo." I tried to smile, despite the fact that the creature was giving me the greatest amount of a death glare I had ever seen. "They want me to try and get you out of here for... whatever reason. Honestly, I just want both you and the ghouls to vacate the property, but you understand. Is there any way I can get you out properly?"

For a second I thought that the creature would attack me, it being so silent and unresponsive, however it actually surprised me. "Pony." It said, somehow invading my mind with an echoing and powerful effect. "We do not wish harm on towns ponies. We do not wish harm on ghouls. We only wish for our goals to be realized..."

I stepped back for a second, but nodded for... them to continue. "We... only wish to find the shipment. S-stealthbucks. The feeling of the goddess once more. We have searched and searched, but there is only one room that we've not seen. A ghoul protects it. We wish them no harm, but they have killed our troops. Get. Rid. Of. It."

I nodded, understanding the annoyingly repetitive, and probably poignant, tree of ponies wanting other ponies to leave so that they could get what they wanted. "I will remove him. But if I can, I will not kill him. Where is he?" The creature pointed outside of the door, and to the right. There was something about it that was obviously not violent, but it did stop me before I left.

"If you see another of my... troops. Hide, run, whatever you can. For, unless I am there to stop them,they are violent." And thinking for a moment. "I am... Shadow leader... Please, call me this." I nodded once more, and left. to the right of the door there were several of the creatures, each dead and littering the way. I didn't bother to care as I looted each and took the stealthbuck they seemed to all have.

After finally picking my way through the hall and, thankfully, not running into any of the demons on the way I was standing at a door. With a knock I moved in, before being shot at. I froze as the glowing red splotch of energy-shot slowly faded from right beside my head. "The next one won't miss, mutated scum!" Came the gravely voice of a ghoul shouting down at me. "I thought you learned not to encroach on my positio- oh..."

"Yeah, oh is right." I said, completely deadpan. "I'm here to 'get rid' of you for those mutated creatures. But I certainly don't deserve to be shot in the head. I intend to try and solve this entire thing peacefully. But if you force my hoof..." I raised fortune and pointed it at him, cocking it's firing mechanism.

"Ha! Peacefully. That's a lark coming from smooth-coat like you. But no, it's OK, I won't force you to do anything." He grinned a gap-toothed grin. "Yeah, well, two things. I ain't willing to go anywhere without knowing what happened to my friend. And he second, well, I need to be promised my safety."

I sighed and nodded at the insane ghoul. "I think I know the best way to get you fucking out of here." I used my levitation to send a stealthbuck up to him. "Use this and you can get out or this hellhole without a hitch."

"Uhuh, now go find my friend fucker." He yelled. At me, catching it in his dessicated mouth. With an exasperated sigh I walked out and right over to the aggressive leader of the deamons.

"Shadow." I said, trying to use their name and placate them. "It won't be hard for me, but I thought I should let you know. I am in the middle of trying to get rid of your... Little problem."

"Ah yes, it has agreed to parley?" Shadow said, their booming voice making my brain quiver. "Good, we do not care to harm it. Our breatherin will attack it if they see it, but other wise... I can keep them from killing you at least. Just don't... Provoke them."

"What I'm looking for is his friend, I need to see her fate." I stared right into the dark blue and oddly scared deamon. "Tell me where she is. I will go find her. Bring her back."

"She is dead. In cage." The creature laughed, making me doubt their equinity. "If you wish to see the corpse you may, the cages are down in the deepest part I'd this area. The most defendable. The one with only a single entrance." I knew before they pointed where they meant. I sighed, knowing full well that I couldn't trust the demon at their word.

So I walked around to the place. Thankfully the invisible demons ignored me as I walked up to look around. I was sure there had to be a key to the 'cage' somewhere, and sure enough I found it. It was sitting in the next room, not even guarded by anyone... The fools.

After unlocking the door I had been unable to mess with before, I walked down a long winding staircase into what appeared to be a generator room. Nothing was about but dust and... A single dead ghoul. That would be enough.

I walked back the way I came and informed then ghoul of his friend's confirmed fate. Obligingly holding up his half, he left, and I was able to search for the stealthbuck. Unfortunately, after trying to read a couple computers that exploded when I touched them, I found a single one that wouldn't. On that we're tons of messages, including a shingle shipping order. It told me exactly which Caledonian base had gotten the supplies.

I returned to Shadow and, while they were angry enough to crush a table under their hoof, they relented. "If you are lieing, little pony, we will find you. And the goddess help us, we will hurt you." After that dramatasism they walked out and left the underground.

"Perfect!" The glowing ghoul said to me, hugging me in excitement. "The preparations are nearly complete. Please, we must go to the ships!" And without a second look he, and all the other ghouls, marched through the Halls down to where the demons had set up base.

Pressing a hidden button within the room where Shadow leader had stood they made their way down the steps to a section I had not seen. That section culminated I'm a large room, separated from another by glass. We we're in the smaller of the two rooms, and the ghouls piled up down into the larger. Inside that room were rockets, not the system to deliver megaspells but instead the rounder ones made to deliver ponies... Somewhere.

"Here we are, in the precepit of our journey my breatherin. And this, all thanks to the Devil wanderer who joined us in our hour of need. At this point little is needed but hours of work. We are nearly to our destination."

After being so uplifting with the speech, I was surprised when the glowing ghoul asked me for one last favor. "I know I said that our journey was almost up, but if you want us truly out of here there is actually one thing you need to get."

I frowned at him but nodded. "Good, yes, we need a vertibird engine. I'd say we also need the fuel, but after doing hours for tests we found that we could power it with s combination of the unicorn's magic and these little toys!" He pointed at a pile of toys
Shaped like rockets, which were built to... Fly slightly?"

"Fine! But that's IT right?" I asked, frowning down at him. He nodded and I sighed. "I think I know where there might be a crashed vertibird." Honestly, I did. There was a scrapyard across town that had tons of bits and bobs. The thing was run by an old earth pony mare, and was partially owned by the NCA (but they preferred to keep it hush hush.)

Once I got to the shop I saw the old mare and with a wink, I grinned my trademark grin. "Watchtower!" I said, acting like an excited little foal. To be honest, I wasn't really that excited, but I knew how to charm my way into a bit of a discount. "How are the kids?"

"Oh, devil!" She grinned, patting a dog with care. "Their playing soldier as usual. But stop buttering me up, what do you want." She had a certain twinkle of intelligence in her eyes, and she knew what I was doing. Damn her.

"Fine, I'm on another little.... 'mission' for the town. I'm trying to free up the testing site of ghouls. But I need a part from here. Vertibird engine." My eyes grew wide and pleading, but she slammed her hoof down and broke my dreams.

"Oh come now sweetie, don't give me those eyes. I know you have the money for it, 500 caps." She then softened a bit. "Oooor, hmm, how about a game. We can see if you still remember how."

So she and I set up a game of caravan. She had taught me the rules of the unfamiliar wasteland game when I was only thirteen. Young enough that I had only been out of the stable for less than a year. It was one of only a couple games of chance that I didn't already know, due to it's wasteland creation.

I won the first and third game out of three, because frankly it's hard for me to loose. The decks always seemed stacked in my favor. To make up for it though, I kissed the old lady on the cheek and hoofed over 150 caps for compensation, then began to levetate the large engine to the base.

I was FINALLY done when I handed the engine over to the glowing ghoul and he called out to his followers. They were aperently on the way to the moon. I was the one who pulled their lever to set the launch in motion, as I listened to another long winded speech that I certainly don't want to retell here, and watched as the fat rocket flew into the sky.

Finally, after a day of working on this, I made it home. My day was wasted, but I was being payed well enough in my opinion, so I was at least a little happy as I slumped against my door. I was started, however, to see who was on my bed.

"Whiskey!" I called out, finally remembering the name of the stallion. Whiskey Dick, and trust me he liked to tease. "What are you doing here?!" I frowned at him, before laughing slightly and walking over.

"Isn't it obvious you little Devil? I'm here to make you relax a little." He pulled me up onto the bed, not letting me protest that he had already made me waste a whole day of time I should be delivering stuff, and... Well he certainly made me relax.

Level Up!

New Perk:

Barndoor Bandit: Well, the cats out of the bag. You like big quivering... colts. +10% dammage against the same sex and you get noticed by the stallions a bit more. Use it wisely.