Getting Frisky

by derf2324

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random, Equestria Girls, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Anon
Length: 1420

Anon is having a bad day, he is on pick pocket duty and Pinkie Pie happens to have a little fetish for being frisked.

Pinkie Pie is many things. One of those things is a pickpocket. She also happens to have a fetish for getting frisked. With these bits of knowledge, she decides to get what she wants from a cop known as Anon.

Warning: Contains a dick big enough to commit a war crime with and masculine girlish moans

Published 2017-03-02 17:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-02 17:50:01 UTC

Is that a banana in your pocket?

"Hey Anon, how is going?" I hate when they do that. They read my name tag and then act like they know me, it’s unnerving.

"Rather bor- Wait, why are you wearing two wigs?" She stood there rocking on her heels like a bored kid. Her obnoxiously pink 'fro-like hair had two wigs resting on it. The first was a gray wig that was tied in a bun and the other was an almost neon orange comb-over that looked like it had given up the ghost long ago.

"Oh, these? Well, the lady didn’t need one and the guy wasn’t fooling anyone with a comb-over wig."

"Did you actually ask if you could have the wigs?"

"I wouldn’t be a pickpocket if I asked first, silly!"

"That’s theft, you know, a crime. If you hand the wigs over I can let you go with a warning. Do you have any other stolen property?"

"Maybe, but you have to find them first, we could play hot and cold!" Would it kill her to just say yes?!

With a sigh, "I need to frisk you. Please spread your legs and hold your arms out," I say, the apathy apparent in my tone. She complies, thankfully not talking. I follow standard procedure, start with where her pockets would have been if she had any.

"Pretty chilly there anon." I try to ignore the comment and continue the search, down the legs to the feet. "Oh Anon, you are colder than Rarity in bed!" With a blush, an image I definitely didn’t need at this moment blazes itself into my mind’s eye. Her boots did have a roll of condoms and a bottle of lube in them, probably not stolen I decide.

"Here," she grabs your hand and presses it against her panties, "you are on fire." Two facts and a realization jumped out at me. Fact one, her panties were soggy. Fact two, there is a large and hard bulge in her panties. And the realization, I’m touching an actual girl’s pussy. Like any rational person, I do an impression of a tomato.

"Ma’am, I need to take you to the police station for a more, thorough, search."

"Sure handsome, lead the way." You look away from her, her eyes are unnerving. Looking at you like you are a piece of meat.

¤ ¤ ¤

"When I asked for you to remove your clothes, that means panties too," I say, gesturing to the baby blue thong she was currently wearing. It was a rather cute pair, with three little balloons printed on top of the bulge which had to be her phone.

"But I can’t spoil the surprise just yet. Anyways, you have a bigger problem."

"Now you listen-" The command cuts itself short on my tongue as the hand I was going to make my point with stops with a clang of a chain. Looking at the shackled hand, panic sets in.

"Now, let’s have some fun." Desperately I search my pockets for the key to the handcuffs. "Looking for these?" She says holding up the keys.

"H-how did you g-get that-t?" The color visibly and audibly leaving my face.

"I can’t tell you that, girls have to have some secrets. Those pants seem a bit tight, let me help." A flick of her wrist drops my third favorite pants and boxers to the ground. "Isn’t that better, your night stick seems to think so," sure enough, my impressive, foot long erection was standing at attention. "I guess it could be a foot long if said foot belonged to a premature baby," the little pride I had retained to this point died like a bitch. It was only after she had lowered herself to my waist did it register how freaky it was that she knew what I was thinking.

"I love how cute it is, look at it! I bet you jerk it with your first finger and thumb! I’ve had erections easily 5 times bigger than your itty bitty sissy clitty"

"Sh-sh-shut up!" Can’t she just rape me without destroying my ego?

"Of course, not Anon, it’s the most bestest and funnest part of ruining you for marriage!" And again with the mind fucking. "You know Anon, I think I’m going straight to dessert. Turn around, might want to put your hands on the table." This is by far the worst blowjob foreplay I have ever had. Bitch better let me come down her throat. I comply, closing my eyes as I do, I didn’t want to see my annoyingly pink rapist.

"Are you ready?" She whispers into my ear before giggling to herself. A pair of breasts smooshes into my back as a hand reaches around to engulf my, rather full, balls in a firm grip. "I’m going to make a supersonic girl out of you!"

"What do you-u!" My voice jumps an octave as something large, hard and slippery presses between my ass cheeks.

"Sounds like someone knows. Most people recommend to relax, but I like the clenching," she whispers into my ear. "I bet I can make you go higher, how does that sound Anon? Do you want me to stick my Baby Batter Piping Bag so deep you talk in falsetto forever? Doesn’t that sound like fun?"

"No! Please sto-!" the final few letters climbing well beyond my usual vocal range. The pressure on my, until recently, exit only forces the tip of her, apparently, third leg in. To be honest, it wasn’t all that bad, much less painful than I was expecting. More uncomfortable than anything, but it was rather pleasant. Wait. . . What am I saying?! I just had a huge dick forced up my ass! This should feel like a gun shot! I should be screaming bloody murder, instead, the only sound that escapes is what can only be a moan.

"You like that, 'Nonny? You like being a bitch?" Girly mumbling is all my over-loaded brain can force out my mouth. Fuck, it was like she was sucking my manliness with her organ. This must have been some sort of secret code word she was waiting for as, after it, she began to force the titanic appendage into me. It felt like a mile but it was probably just a few inches when she stopped.

"Ah, I see your problem, your intestines aren’t straight," a point she emphasized by poking on my back, "Good thing Doctor Pinkie is here! I will prescribe my dick up your ass." If that line was in a cheesy porno I probably would have laughed before jerking it, but I sure wasn’t laughing now. She continued, wiggling her hips every so often. It was terrible, fantastic feeling but my dick firmly reminding me how dry it was, I hated how much I was liking her dick firmly in my ass. And it then happened, our hips touched. "Tell me no and I’ll pull out, I’ll stop. I’ll bet you can’t after that taste." No, just tell her no and it’s over. No, and it’s over! It will be over.

"Y-yes," Fuck!

"That’s what I thought, Slut Butt." Clearly, her glorious cock was pressing on my voice box, I meant. . . I meant n-. Yes. . . Dammit! She must have poisoned her dick with addictive. . . Stuff and hit my brain! She began to pull her dick out, and with it, my mind. I felt an uncomfortable emptiness, I needed her inside me again. I pushed back against her hips, trying to fill myself with her pleasurable warmth. "Greedy little slut aren't ya. Don't worry, I won't leave you high and dry," She said while pushing herself back in. "Well, I won't leave you high at least." The pleasure was the only thing I could feel, no more thoughts. Like a fiddle she played me, fucking all sorts of squeals, moans, and orgasms from me.

I was barely conscious when she finally had her fill. "I had fun Anon, we should do this again sometime!" she said as she left with my clothes. I must have laid there on the ground in our sticky pile of cum for an hour before I had collected my thoughts enough to get up and take a shower.

"Oh, hey An-" my boss started, "WHAT the FUCK Anon?!?! Why the FLYING FUCK are you covered semen?! And why are you. . . What the fuck Anon! Those are MY panties!"