This is your final Warning: This story contains massive Spoilers for 'Past Sins' - written by Pen Stroke,
and 'Sweetie, a Hearts Warming Tale' - written by me.
If you have not read both those stories before digging into this - Its on you.
A cold wind blew through Ponyville. Though cold did not trouble Sweetie Belle that much. It was hard to be troubled by much of anything when you had a body reinforced with titanium.
Yet, something was troubling her. It was the trouble of boredom.
The other girls were busy elsewhere. Apple bloom had chores on the Apple farm, and Scootaloo was out somewhere with Rainbow dash. That left Sweetie, and her sister that did not exactly need, nor want her help.
That left Sweetie alone, And she hated being alone, when she was alone, she began to ponder. And it was not the fun kind of ponder like “what kind of clothes should I wear today?” or “just how much mischief can I get myself into?”. It was the troubling kind of pondering, the kind that only those that has recently discovered that beneath their skin, there lies a mechanical being. That for as much as you try to convince everypony else that you are just like them, there is one pony you cant fool – yourself.
Try as she might, she had begun to feel a crack between herself and her friends. This undeniable sensation that she was different from everypony else. That no one else really could understand what it was like to be her.
Sweetie did not like these thoughts. Yet they kept coming back to her. Her shrink had told her that when she had these thoughts – she should go talk to someone. Anyone. Cause keeping them locked up would only make them worse.
Perhaps that was shy she was now heading towards Twilight's Castle. Perhaps the princess of friendship had some advise to what you should do when you feel like an alien amongst your friends. How had she dealt with it? The purple unicorn, to suddenly become a whole different species? Did her friends treat her different? Did she feel alien with her new wings?
But it was not the same. Everyone adored alicorns. Some almost worshiped the ground they walked on.
“Not ever Alicorn” Said a voice in her head.
That's right. There was one who had to struggle for every bit of affection she could get. Who's dark past kept hanging over her wherever she went.
Sweetie wondered how that alicorn had it now? Up there in Canterlot, so far away from everypony else. Sweetie had not seen her for such a long time. When had the last time been? Sometime before Sweetie found out what lay beneath her skin. Would she even recognize her now? Did she know of Sweeties 'transformation'? Sweetie had not dared to write to tell her herself. How did one even start such a letter?
Sweetie looked down on herself. Her alloys shone like pearls in the sun and the wires in her mane and tale rustled in the wind.
She almost wished she could be somewhere far, far away as she walked through the Streets of Ponyville. She did not exactly want to be seen outside. Even more so without her skin. Though she had been slowly getting used to her new alloyed shell, it still felt a bit naked.
Yet, was that not why she made these trips? To get more comfortable whit her full-fledged robotic self?
As she continued her journey down the streets, Sweetie though about that dark alicorn again. What would she think once she finally found out? Did she already know? Had someone else spilled the beans and told of this horrific tale in a letter of their own? Sweetie didn't not want to think bad about her friends for keeping each other updated … But still ...
Sweetie put a stop to the thought when Twilight's castle came into view. She drew a sigh of relief scurried up the stairs. She was about to knock on the door, when she noticed that the left side of the gate was standing slightly ajar.
This was unusual. Was twilight already expecting her or something. Truth that Sweetie had started making these trips more often, but surely she was not that predictable?
Curiosity got the better of her, and she pulled the gate open, and stepped inside.
“H … Hello?”
There was someone standing in the entrance hall, but it was not Twilight. It was someone much smaller. Someone just getting out of their purple boots,
Sweetie almost thought she was hallucinating. But there was no denying the blackness of her coat or the turquoise headband that rested on her horn, holding her distinct purple mane in place.
There she was, Nyx, Twilight's daughter by adoption. Shaking off her wings as she unsaddled her saddlebags. Bags marked with the distinctive creed of Celestias school for gifted unicorns.
What was she doing here? Should she not be up studying in Canterlot? Living in her mothers old tower or something?
The black alicorn filly looked back towards the creaking gate, and her knife slit eyes became as round as the moon.
“Sweetie?” She gasped.
Sweeties ears flattened to her metallic scull. She became instantly aware of how much skin she was not displaying – which was none at all. A part of her wanted to run and hide. To spare her friend from seeing her like this. Another told her to stand firm, that is she was to come to grasp with her true nature, she had to stop feeling ashamed of her mechanical self.
(Was that not after all the whole reason she had come here, was that not why she and Twilight had these special lessons?)
“H... High Nyx.” Sweetie said, and forced a smile and a wave. “wha … what are you doing home so early?”
“I … I … I finished my studies and Celestia said that I had the month off … So I decided to come home … ” Nyx stammered in her frail, crystal glass voice. “They said … they said there was someone I needed to see ...”
Nyx walked closer to her friend. The last time they had seen each other, Sweetie had still been covered in skin, The last time they had seen each other – She had been just another filly, as far as anypony knew.
“It … Its true” Nyx whispered. “Its really true. You're … you're ...”
Sweetie squirmed, She did rather not want to be called a robot or anything. But what else could one take away from a first glance at her.
But Nyx didn't find the words. She just stared, in complete disbelief.
“I … I've read the letters, but I couldn't believe it … All this time … this whole time … you've been ...You ...”
“Yep. That's me,” Said Sweetie, trying to break the ice. “And believe me, no one is more surprised then ...”
“YOU BASTARD!”
Sweeties smile froze on her face. Whatever words she might have expected from her black alicorn friend – being called a bastard was not one of them.
That's when she noticed the sudden change in Nyx's expression. She was no longer looking at her with curiosity or disbelief, but anger.
“This whole time! You were a robot this whole time and you didn't tell me! How could you do this to me!? HOW DARE YOU BEHAVE LIKE THAT!? AFTER THAT HAPPENED TO ME! YOU RAN AWAY?? WHY DIDNT YOU COME TALK TO ME!?
Nyx marched up to Sweetie. Her already knife slit pupils were thinning down to the width of needles, making her look rather scary. Gone was the frailty in her voice, and in its place was just crystal clear frustration.
“Do you remember when I was to afraid to reveal my true self?!” She shouted in sweeties face. “Do you?”
Nyx emphasized her words by pushing Sweetie.
“Do you?”
Another push.
“I was afraid that everypony was going to hate me because I was different! And now you are telling me that you were different the whole time! Why didn't you say anything?!”
Before Nyx could land a third push, Sweetie jumped backwards.
“I didn't know!” She shouted.
“Didn't know what? Didn't you know how to share a secret with your friends! Didn't you know me well enough to trust me with your secret, even after I revealed myself to all of you!?
“Its different – everypony looked on you in awe! You were a bloody alicorn! Everypony loved you! Me, I'm not even a pony! Everypony feared me!”
“Everypony feared me too!” Yelled nyx “They feared and hated me but I still dared to reveal my true self to you! And I didn't run away! But you ... you could have come out and said that you were no ordinary pony either! But you DIDN'T! You just acted sat there and surprised!”
“I didn't act!” Sweetie screamed “I was surprised!”
“Then why didn't you say anything! Why did you run away even when there was another filly who had gone through the exact same thing!”
“Its different! Because I really, REALY didn't not know what I was!” Yelled Sweetie, finding her own anger welling up inside. Who was this filly to accuse her of anything.
“SO HOW DARE YOU DJUDGE ME!” Sweetie snapped “Can you imagine, going through your whole life thinking that you are just like everypony else, and then find out one day that you are not!? Of course you cant, because you always knew that you were different!”
“That's a load of hogwash!” Said Nyx. “You cant expect me to believe that you did not know! No pony can hide a secret like that and expect it to stay hidden – Least of all from themselves!”
“SAYS YOU!” Sweetie retaliated, and pointed a hoof accusingly.“Says the one who managed to hide that she was bloody Nightmare Moon for her whole life!”
Nyx froze. Like she had been stabbed by the accusation.
“Say that again... “ she hissed.
“NIGHTMARE Bucking MOONBUTT!“
As the words left her mouth, Sweetie knew that she had gone to far. The part of her that was angry said that Nyx deserved it. She had attacked Sweetie first with her accusations.
And this time. Sweetie was not running away.
Nyx opened and closed her mouth a few times. Sweetie could see the twitching in the corner of her mouth. Then the little black filly turned to pick up her saddlebags, and before Sweetie knew it. She was being assailed with the contents.
“You stupid ...” Nyx shouted, as she threw a big book at Sweetie, who barely dodged.
“Selfish... ”
A orange went flying.
“Evil... “
A second book.
“BAG OF BOLTS!”
“Hey! You take that back!” Sweetie stopped to yell, insults at the nature of her being always offended her the most.
But the second she ceased dodging, one of the projectiles - A red juicy tomato found its target. Striking sweetie square in her left eye.
Sweetie wiped her face, and looked back at Nyx. Her eye turning as red as the juicy fruit.
“No one calls me a bag of bolts!” she declared. And threw back the moist vegetable book in Nyx direction.
“Oh yeah!? How about meanie machinie!” Nyx shouted, as she contynued to throw things from her bag. “Pissy-pistons! - Rust Riddled scrapheap! - Bad bad Butt-bot!”
More books came flying, more then should have been able to fit in the small saddlebag. An equal amount of literature was thrown right back where it came from as the two fillies dodged and threw and shouted.
“You take that back you Black Bully”
“Make me you Autistic Automation!”
“I will – you Pawn of Darkness!”
“You will try - You evil little Mean Machine!”
“Calling me mean!? You took over Equestria! You Alicorn Ass!”
“O yeah!? Well you are just a stupid blood bot whose waiting to take over Equestrian!”
School materiel and insults sailed across the castle entrance hall. Whatever the original argument had been about it was long since forgotten. A pair scissor was thrown so hard it cut the tapestry hanging from the wall. A pencil box burst open mid flight and its sharpened content rained down over its target. A thick book on social interactions was thrown like a dodge-ball between the two...
...until it finally struck Nyx right on the forehead.
She screamed and fell over. Grabbing her forehead.
Sweetie was so hooked up in the battle that she was already halfway across the hall, running for her next throwable object, and had raised her projectile (a yardstick) When she noticed that Nyx wasn't moving. The little black filly just lay in a fetal position, with her back towards Sweetie.
“Nyx?”
Sweetie dropped the yardstick, and walked up to her.
“Nyx?”
She reached out a hoof and turned Nyx over.
Too late she noticed the glow on her horn.
“DONT TOUCH ME YOU MURDER MACHINE!”
There was an explosion of magical light, and Sweetie when flying across the hall. She skittered across the floor and came to a stop only when she bounced off the hard crystal wall.
It should have hurt. But Sweetie had long since turned off her touch sensors.
She got up, and marched towards Nyx. Who in turn was marching from her end off the hall. Her horn was glowing with magic, and it was being fulled by anger. Whatever scratch or lump she might have gotten on her forehead had already disappeared due to her Alicorn endurance. Sweetie sensed her own repair system smooth out whatever scratch her impact with the wall had had on her titanium infused body. Her own horn crackled with electricity, her vission switched to infrared as her targeting systems locked onto Nyx. Whose eyes in turn seemed to be glowing with arcane power.
Both of their eyes were filled with anger. As they marched towards each other, they stomped their hooves hard on the crystal floor, making their steps echo in the hallway. When they had closed the distance by half, they lowered their horns into butting position, and charged at each other, screaming at the top of their lungs.
They where just about to make impact, when the two of them found themselves trapped in purple bubbles.
The two of them looked around, and found themselves staring into a third pair of purple eyes. Belonging to a equally purple, and very crossed looking Alicorn.
“First time seeing each other and you start to fight?” Said Twilight Sparkle “This is NOT what friend do to each other!”
Both fillies lowered their heads. And the light in their horns and eyes faded out.
***
It was Twilight Time alright. But nut the fun kind. The scolding kind. The disappointed kind.
Sweetie had never been so scolded by Twilight. And from the looks of it, Neither had Nyx. The two had been placed on the round table map of the castle throneroom, so that Twilight would have them both on eye level as she lectured them. Neither of them fillies did not dare to speak up as the Princess drilled them for what felt like hours – with many examples to her own experiences with her friends. Sweetie suspected That the princess had chosen this room as a symbolic example for their scolding. Though neither filly took in much of the grand room besides the floor beneath the table edge that they sat on.
“Look, I know that you don't like it when people call you out on your mechanical being. But you cant just go around and call other people things like that.”
“Yes Twilight” Sweetie said, for what felt like the hundredth time already.
“And Nyx!” Twilight made a pause in front of her daughter. “I don't even want to tell you how disappointed I am.”
The black filly hung her head even lower.
“What prompted all of this?” Twilight asked them both. “Calling each other names like that? Throwing books around like cannonballs. Nevermind the fact that you damaged some volumes on advanced magical study - You could have hurt each other! Do you even know the power you pistons pack? And Nyx, If you cant control your magical outbursts then … Then ...”
Twilight just ended the sentence with a sigh.
“So I will ask again. What prompted this?”
“She attacked me.” Sweetie said in her defense. “Its not my fault she is a...”
Twilight raised her hoof before Sweetie could finish whatever creative insult that might have been brewing in her mind. She shifted her gaze to Nyx. And after a few second of intense staring, the filly cracked.
“It just feels so unfair.” Said Nyx. “I've known her my whole life and I'm only NOW finding out shat she is a superficial construct.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nyx.” There is nothing superficial about Sweetie.
“Yes there is mom! All that pretending to be a real filly seems pretty superficial to me.”
“I'm not pretending to be anything!” argued Sweetie.
“Your authenticity only goes skin deep!” She eyed Sweetie from hoof to head. “And now its not even that!”
“Stop using big words to try and make me feel stupid, your stupid hellspawn!” Said Sweetie.
“Sweetie!” Twilight shouted.
“Rusty Robotbrain.” Nyx jabbed
“Nyx!”
“Constipated clone!” Sweetie jabbed back.
“ENOUGH!” Roared Twilight. Her eyes flashed and a boom like thunder accompanied her command.
“Sweetie. I will not have you insult my daughter in any way shape or form! Understand?”
“Y... yes.” Sweetie whimpered.
“And you” Twilight turned to her daughter. “We've talked about this Nyx – The correct term is Cybernetic entity.”
Nyx took a quick glance at Sweetie.
“It does not matter what she is! Its still unfair!”
“What is?”
“That she got to live just like a completely normal filly when I didn't!” Nyx shouted.
Both Twilight and Sweetie was a little stunned. Was that what this was all about.
“Nyx. Are you jealousy?” Twilight asked in a much softer tone.
“No ...” was the quick answer.
A few seconds of staring and the black filly started to squirm.
“... yes.”
“And it feels so .. bad .. so .. wrong ..” Nyx unsuccessfully searched for the right word “So .. unfair .. that someone like her have bee here all this time. Right beside me, without me even knowing it.”
“Some one like me?”
Sweetie felt her 'Offended levels' rising again.
“Someone who is unnatural OK!” Nyx shouted.
There was a moment of silence as the little alicorn shewed on her lip, realizing what she just said.
She jumped off the table, and shambled up close to her mom with her head held low.
“I … I mean … someone who is just … different. You know? Someone who was not … Born, into their family, by the usual means.”
Twilight scratched the back of her head.
“Well … this is where it gets complicated. Sweetie was actually … Oh … where to even start.”
Sweetie herself jumped of the table.
“Its Ok Twilight “Sweetie said. “I was stillborn – Just say it.”
“Oh!”Nyx gasped. “I'm sorry”
“And … I am unnatural … “Sweetie forced herself to say, it hurt more then she thought it would ”So, now that we have got that out of the way, - Now that you know, what was it you wanted to talk about?”
Nyx writhed around.
“Soooooo … How are things?” She asked, with a very forced smile.
“They were great, until I walked in that door.” Sweetie answered bluntly.
sorry I meant how is it to be a robot.
I don't know – how is it to be a homunculus?
“SWEETIE!”
“What! We know its true.”
“Who taught you that word?”
“What? I read too.”
Nyx snorted. “Really? Because I thought all you robots had to do was to plug yourself into the mainframe to instantly download every terabyte of collective data from the Matrix network onto your hard drive.”
Twilight gave her daughter a long and hard glare.
“First of all, that's not how it works. Second of all, we don't have any mane-frames or Net-works. Third of all: Who taught you those words?”
“What?” Nyx shrugged “I do other things beside study.”
“Like watch crappy movies about murderous robots who run on pony blood?” Sweetie snarled.
“Still waiting for Bloodbots 2, the sequel.” with some sense of pride “I was hoping to watch it with all of you.”
Nyx diverted her eyes.
“Though. You probably don't want to watch something like that any more, do you?” She said, nervously rubbing her foreleg. “You're not like the machines in that movie, are you?”
“No more then then you are like Nightmare moon from the legends. Less in fact.”
“Sweetie.” Twilight warned. “Nyx is trying to apologize. So why don't you answer her question, so we can lay this matter to rest.”
“What – We all know that she was nightmare moon! She literally brought eternal night!”
“Yeah! Well you probably never even learned how to read!“ Nyx retaliated ”They probably just programed the knowledge into you!”
“Now I know you are jealousy.” Twilight muttered under her breath.
“What?” Nyx jabbed, Like it was her turn to ask that question. At least my feelings are genuine!” She pointed an accusing hoof at sweetie “How do we know she was not just programmed to behave this way? She is literally a robot after all!”
“Twilight, Now she is saying things!”
“I want you both to stop calling each other those things!” Twilight roared.
“WHY – ITS LITERALLY WHAT SHE IS!” Both fillies yelled simultaneously.
Like the noise of thunder striking down, the silence that followed felt extra empty. Both fillies stared at each other. A task that was made harder by the tears that had begun to well up in both their eyes.
If Sweetie had a lower lip, she would have been chewing on it.
“You know, Its not fair that you assume those things, just because I happen to be what I am … does not mean that you can …”
She closed the lids to her eyes, and a few teardrops fell onto the floor,
“Its not fair that people assume things.”
“I know.” Said Nyx, with a voice so frail that she thought it was gonna crack “Its not fair that people still assume that I will bring the eternal night”
Twilight rubbed her daughters mane. And sweetie rubbed the tears out of her eyes.
“You know some think I cant feel real pain, or real emotions, Or real hunger. That its all just some recordings of somepony else's feelings. Imitations of life experiences.
She let out a long and heavy sigh.”
“Some also like to think that I was just – Pre made the way I am. That I just came with the personality and knowledge of a filly, without having to grow up and learn them like every other pony.”
Sweetie pointed at Nyx.
“Speaking of which. How come you could read and speak when you had never learned it. How did that information get into your head?”
Nyx opened her mouth to speak, but she could not come up with an answer. She looked up at Twilight like she was undergoing an on the spot existential crisis.
“Mom! Why cant I remember anything? About where I learned the things I know. How … How did I have that knowledge in my head?”
Twilight looked from one filly to the other, and let out a heavy sight before she answered:
“Because the creation spell that made you was finished to the point that you had become a little filly. Similar in age to you, Sweetie, and the rest of your friends and classmates.”
“But what does that have to do with the thing I knew, If I never learned anything, then I should have been as dumb as a foal.”
Twilight scratched her chin.
“I guess you must have gotten knowledge equal to what Luna might have learned at that age. Basic understanding of the equestrian language and its letters and numbers.”
“As you grew. That knowledge must have been the first bits of nightmare moons knowledge that formed in your newly created mind.
If the Creation spell had been aborted later. She would very likely have emerged older then she did. Or perhaps even as a full grown mare. And she likely with even more knowledge in her head. Perhaps a few spells. And, or a understanding of the world and the land”
Nyx hugged her mothers leg even harder then before.
“I'm glad things turned out this way. This way I got to live you.”
Sweetie agreed. It would have been awkward if Nyx had been born with the body of a full grown mare, but the mind of a foal.
Though - It was that word twilight used. “Knowledge”. Not “Memories”, to describe the things Nyx had been born with.
It spawned a question:
“If she had memories equal to how old Luna was when she was our age … then how come she didn't have any memories of Lunas fillyhood?”
“Because Nightmare Moon didn't have a fillyhood” Said Twilight.
The message “Does not compute” flashed in Sweeties mind.
“I don't follow” She said. “I thought that Luna was Nightmare Moon.”
“Well … she was … but ...” Twilight stammered, coughed in her hoof, then lifted up Nyx up from the floor, and picked sweetie up in her levitation, and sat the two fillies down on the map beside each other.
“Ok Girls. Now you just sit here. This has been coming for some time” She said.
From out of nowhere, she materialized up a big chart-board, upon which she started drawing a big silhouette of the fabled Mare of the moon, along with five smaller ponies and a big rainbow.
“Now, As you know. Me and my 5 friends used the elements of harmony to defeat Nightmare moon.”
“Yes mom – we even did a play about it.” Nyx said, with some irritation.
“Right”
Twilight erased the big mare from the board, and drew in her place a small – filly sized Luna. Around her, she hastily drew some fragments of broken armor and dark dust.
Sweetie raised a hoof.
“Why was Luna reduced to a filly?”
“It has something to do with the elements of harmony stripping her of all her power, especially clenching her of all negatively - both physical and magical. Essentially rejuvenating her to a much smaller size.”
“Mom, We were here to talk about me, not Luna.” Alt: Who cares. We were supposed to talk about why I don't have any memories.”
“But is is connected” Said Twilight “For the energy that was stripped from Luna did not simply disappear, as we first though”
“The 'dark essence' that was stripped from Luna by the elements of harmony was pure nightmare energy” She pointed to the pieces of armor that was lying around the little Luna. And I dare to guess that the knowledge and memories that resigned as echoes of Luna's own mind only came from the Nightmare moon period. “
Nyx lowered her head.
“As well as all the emotions, all the malice, jealousy and … rage.”
Twilight continued, oblivious to her daughters comment.
“So you could say, that from this moment - Luna and Nightmare moon became two different entities.”
Nyx Scratched her foreleg.
“What you really mean is – One of them became me.”
She looked up at the pieces of armor and dark, shadowy dust that lingered around the corners of the old castle of the two sisters.
“That's me.” She said with a somber voice “That's the pieces that would become me.”
Twilight sighed and gave her daughter a hug.
“Its ok Nyx.” She said in a caring tone “you are much more then that. You are a physical being of flesh and blood now.”
Now it was Sweetie who hung her head.
“Lucky you.” She said, as she looked down on her little mechanical legs
Twilight reached out and brought Sweetie into the hug.
“Now you listen here you two. It does not matter what you are made of. You are still the most amazing fillies in the world.”
She let go of the hug, though if she was expecting to see smiles, she did not get them.
Nyx didn't even look at her mother, her knife slit eyes were on the chartboard, and the pieces scrambled around Luna.
“Yeah … a filly made of up of pieces of some broken armor, space dust and some scraped of dark magic. … truly amazing.”
She tried to force a smile. But it turned into a grimach … Failing that, she turned her tail and left the castle.
Twilight quickly brought a duster to the chart-board. A big cloud of chalk spread sh she tried to wipe the image away a little to eagerly. A quick snese dispersed the cloud. But by that moment. Nyx was already gone.
“Nyx? NYX! Wait.”
The only thing that answered was the sound of the Castle door opening.
Twilight let out a heavy sigh, and rubbed her concerned forehead with a hoof. Sweetie heard her mutter a curse under her breath.
“I think I understand how she feel.” Sweetie said. “Its … just like the parts I'm made of.” She said to Twilight “the metal and gears that became the parts that makes up my body, there is not one part of me that was originally me.”
“That's not true Sweetie, and you know it.” Twilight said while rubbing Sweeties mane, causing small sparks of static electricity to tickle her cranium.
“You began in here” She said, Tapping Sweeties head. “This little Cybercore that holds your mind was yours from the very beginning. Your body might have been built around that, but it was originally you.”
“Ye … No” said Sweetie, and shook off Twilight's hoof before going after Nyx, who had exited the building.
Twilight watched them go from the threshold of her castle gates. She contemplated going after them. But she wondered if those two did not need each other more now then they needed her and her stupid lectures.
A small thorn of pain leaped through her heart as she wondered if her lecture had done more harm then good. Her beloved Nyx had looked a bit distraught by the way Twilight had explained things. It could not be easy to have such an un-firm grip on what you were really made of. Not when you had no other reference points. Not when you were the only one on the world.
Well … that was something that the girls had in common. Twilight just hoped that they could come to realize that on their own.
Darn it … Maybe she really was turning into princess Celestia.
***
Nyx Scurried through town. Not too fast, but still with enough of a head start that Sweetie almost lost her a few times. Nyx was heading towards the edge of the town, and while Sweetie did not think she was running just for the sake of running away. She did have a specific destination in mind.
As the buildings started to thin out. The grand treeline of everfree forest started to come into view. And Nyx was heading straight for those woods. This might have been cause for concern. If not for the very particular path Nyx had chosen. It was a path that only led to one place. A place that carried a lot of memories from previous nightmare nights.
Sweetie slowed her hoofsteps. She now knew exactly where Nyx was going.
She understood that Nyx wanted to be alone, at the same time Sweetie knew that alone was not the best place to bee when dealing with an Existential crisis.
Sweetie did not have to walk far before a clearing came into view. It was not a paticulary cozy clearing. The trees here were dark and tall. Reacing for the sky like they were trying to block out the sunlight. And cast the clearing in a gloomy state of constant shadow. The undergrowth was so tight that it formed a wall around the cleaning, Many a naked branches reaching out like fingers trying to grab whoever came to close to its edge. Yet none of it dared to spill out into the clean green grass of the circular clearing.
It was like the forest itself did not dare approach the single object to occupy the center of this place. A big stone parish holding up a tall slender statue of a pitch black mare, shrouded in a misty tail of smoke ans stars, baring her fangs while rearing up in an aggressive stance.
It was the statue of nightmare moon, casting casting its long shadow over whatever spot in this clearing the sunrays might have shone on.
And in that shadow, looking up at the imposing statue, stood Nyx.
She did not turn around when Sweetie approached, It goes without saying that not having to breathe plays a big role when making a stealth attempt. That's what Sweetie thought as she approached She was not exactly trying to hide, she was just dragging her hoofs after her – Trying to delay whatever was to come.
If anything, Nyx was ignoring the other filly. She did not want to talk, least of all to Sweetie. Perhaps she was just waiting for Sweetie to start to argue again.
But Sweetie had not come here to fight. She did not step into the shadow of the statue, instead she stopped at its edge, a respectable distance from nyx.
“You know.” she began “If it helps, I know how it feels, to be stuck in a body that does not feel like its your own.”
She raised her hoof, examining the cracks in her joints.
“Its a most terrifying feeling, when your whole physical shell becomes alien to you.”
“The thing is though.” Nyx answered “It never felt alien to me. Becoming Nightmare Moon, that is.”
There was something very sincere in her voice. A voice that carried deep sorrow without being on the verge of tears.
“Not once did my power or my size feel wrong. sure, I was aware of how big I was, about what terrifying power I commanded. But it all felt so right. Like, I've finally become who I was supposed to be. ”
Nyx turned around to face Sweetie. - The long shadow of the big statue reached out before her as if it was her own.
“Do you know the really scary part? It was when I was taken from my home, when my own mother let me be taken away to some magical test that should determine if I really was just nightmare moon pretending to be a filly. It was to look into my mothers eyes and see that she had forsaken me. That she was knowingly giving me up to this Stranger.”
Nyx shook her head.
“And then It ironically turned out that the test was rigged by the very same cultists who had created me. They finished what they had started, and I was fused with all that is her.”
Nyx pointed to the statue behind her.
“But the really scary part, It wasn't the kidnapping or the transmutation. It wasn't when all of her 'dark essence' was forced into me. It wasn't when by body bubbled and Swelled beyond my control. ”
Nyx eyes seemed to narrow.
“It was the hatred. It was when all those memories of sorrow and jealousy came rushing into my mind. Memories of fighting my sister Celestia. Memories of being stuck in the moon for one thousand years. Memories of how I got released from my prison only to be defeated by … By my own mother”
It was so much. Compared to all that – the puny speck of life that I had lived in blissful ignorance was but a drop in an ocean. I was sure it would get crunched and burred by this new personality. I was sure that the little thing I had been would be overwritten and erased by the sheer volume of this new personality.”
“And the thing is. I liked it.”
“The feeling of seeing my mother abandon me. To me It was just as bad as remembering how she had defeated 'me' when I and Luna was one. That hatred mixed with the old memories, And I Liked it. Because at the moment, It felt so justified. Because right then and there, I hated my mother, in more ways then you can imagine.”
Tears were swelling up in Nyx's eyes. She raised her hoof to wipe her cheeks. And when she looked back to Sweetie Belle, there was bitterness clearly written on her face.
“You cant possibly imagine what that is like! Having a whole set of memories that is not your own take up your mind.” Nyx cried “There was just so much of it. A thousand years of anger and suffering overwhelmed the few weeks I had been alive with Twilight. I truly and utterly became Nightmare Moon. You can't understand what that is like!”
With her last words, Nyx stomped her hooves on the ground. Sweetie, who had failed to realize she had been leaning back from the black filly, finally tipped over, and sank down on her haunches.
A cold wing blew between them as Nyx gritted her teeth at Sweetie, almost daring her to make a counter argument.
Sweetie was almost did not say anything. Partially because she was afraid that the slightest provocation would set Nyx off. But what really scared her to her metallised core was perhaps that staring at Nyx, seeing all that sorrow and anger, was like staring into a mirror.
“Actually. I kind of can.” Sweetie said in voice as tender as glass. “The ponies who created me all scanned their minds onto these crystal recording devises. They were recording their memories of the experiment so the would not have to write anything down. Normally you would need a machine with a screen to see these recordings. But … I.... ” She trailed of. “I am a machine. And I was able to experience their memories as if I were them , in the the moment.”
“Those recordings have been mixed up into my memory banks. And I'm afraid they might have tainted my memory core somehow. That I Might have some part of them inside me. As I have memories of a pony who is not me, yet I am able to recall their experiences as if they were my own. Yet, I can always look back and differentiate from what is clearly not my own memories.”
She looked back at Nyx
“It must be the same for you. You remember the time when you was Nightmare Moon, right? You remember having her memories and feelings inside your head.”
Nyx weakly nodded her head.
”But you know they are actually not yours. They belonged to Luna. From a time when she was nightmare moon. Sure you might have done some bad things because you weren’t entirely yourself at the time. But the real you came through in the end, didn't it – Otherwise you would not have been sitting here.”
Nyx wiped her tears, and tried to smile.
“No. You are right.” Nyx said. ”If I had only been infused with all the memories of nightmare moon – I would have been Nightmare moon. It was only because I got to be with mommy that I became somepony else. That's why I was still somepony else even when i got all the memories of nightmare moon. Because of my time with mother i knew how wrong everything was.”
“Its after all out memories that makes us who we are.” Said Sweetie.
Nyx Tilted her head in an unspoken question.
“Its what an old Stallion said to me,” Sweetie elaborated.
“Is is?” Asked Nyx. “Beacuse it seems to me that we are made up of a whole lot more besides memories.”
She pointed at herself.
“Do you know where this magic comes from? Do you know how it feels what all that you are was scrapped and copied from somepony else? Even my mind is a copy – a blank slate that was meant to be filled with nothing but hate and jealousy.”
Sweetie nodded.
“It would have been like being programed to behave in a certain way” she said, as tears started to swell up in her eyes. “That's what I had to wrestle with. If my body was fake. Then – what else was fake? Were my emotions fake? Did I even have real emotions? Could I even think for myself, or was I acting according to some per-determined program. I … I started to doubt my entire existence.
She sniffed.
“But … that's not the scariest part. The scariest part is that I started to doubt my family. Did they know? Because – If they did, then why had they not told me?
“I … Understand” said Nyx “They probably just wanted to protect you. To make it so that you did not have to feel different amongst everypony else. To hide the truth so that no one would look upon you and see a … threat.
Nyx Swallowed.
“Mommy did the same for me.”
“At least Twilight told you that you were different, at least she taught you to keep it a secret. My mommy hid it a little to well. I did not have the luxury of knowing how I was different. … that's why it came as such a shock.”
Sweetie was beginning to shiver from the memory.
“For a while I tried to hide it. … but then we had that stupid X ray exam. There was no hiding it anymore. So I when home. And I confronted my Sister about it.”
Sweetie was barely able to keep the sobs from interrupting her story.
That's … how I learned that they knew. That's the scariest thing of them all. The way my own sister looked at me. Like she did not even recognize me … And still … That she did recognize me. That's she recognized what was under my skin ... That's how I knew she new. “
“That they had been lying … My whole life … A lie ...”
“So … That's why you ran away.” Nyx said “I'm sorry. I forgive you.” (for not coming and talking to me)
Sweetie scratched the back of her head.
Yeah, Well, That and another reason. You see … when I Rarity didn't deny the truth, I got so angry, and scared that I in denial tried to pull the mechanical parts out of myself – and I endedd upp short sircuting myself.
She sighed.
“That's when I learned something horrible about myself, when my heart drive shuts down, I become completely incapable of feeling emotions.”
“When I Rebooted – My very basic functions in my mind was still set to hating Rarity. So in concluded that I had to get … ”
“Get the hay out of dodge city.” Nyx finished.
“Or in this case Ponyville” Sweetie sighed. “When my mind finally finished rebooting and I finally was myself again. I was lost.”
“Oh … I still forgive you.”
Nyx Pulled her hoof through Sweetie's hair., the static tingeing that arose at least helped to soften Sweeties mood.
“I wish I could have forgiven my sister as easily” Sweetie sobbed, and wiped her tears.
“She did eventually find me, She asked me to come back home with her. But I … I could not bring myself to trust her. I was to afraid that the bond I felt to her was some kind of control program trying to enforce its will on me. But … I think most of all, I was still angry. And I blamed her for everything I had to go through.”
“I took my recently acquired energy canons … and I aimed them at her.”
Sweetie caught herself at the verge of hyperventilating.
“Just one thought, and it would have been all over.” She gasped “I almost killed my sister. … She only came to help me … and I almost got her killed.”
Soft heavy sobs started to fill the clearing of the nightmare moon statue. But to Sweeties surprise, She was not the only one. She looked up to see that Nyx was the one crying.
“Me too” She sobbed “I … I also hurt someone I loved … I almost got my mother killed.”
Nyx took a few heavy breaths to try and calm herself, and continued.
“She came for me … after I became Nightmare Moon … She only wanted to reconcile. But my guards found her … and the beat her … Bad … They beat her so bad!”
Nyx broke down in another heavy sob. It was enough to make Sweetie forget her own tears. So she got up, and put her mechanical forelegs around her friend. Letting Nyx sob on her shoulder as she petted her back.
“I actually had a doll made in her image. I life sized pluchie. And I Ripped it apart …
“At least it was just a doll – you did not actually harm your real mother.”
“But I did … “Nyx trembled “ I did. “I … I had her thrown in a dungeon … And I kept her there … I did not want to but … I was just so angry.” Nyx hissed between her teeth.
And then … They tried to kill her! Those cults tried to kill my mother. They infected her with a piece of … A piece of...
Nyx trailed off, looking for the right word.
“A piece of me.” She finally said.
Nyx leaned back from Sweetie, looking more horrified then sad.
“The Blessing – they called it.” That's was how the cult got started. Those who had cleaned up the pieces after Luna's Defeat had gotten infected by a parasitic essence that turned them into blind followers of Nightmare Moon.
Can you understand that? That a piece of you can turn a pony insane?
“I actually can.” Said Sweetie. “Sort of. I mean. The special kind of crystal that my brain consists of. Those blue disks I mentioned – they are made of the same stuff, they have the ability to absorb brainwaves – That's why the scientists that made me used them to record their own thoughts. But … that's not all the crystals did … ”
Sweetie trailed off.
“… Long story short … It drove them mad. The point it, that what I am made of can drive ponies insane if they try to implant it. Because the cybernetic energies are not compatible with the biological energies. And unlike you, there is no cure for it.”
Both fillies let out a long and heavy sigh, and then just sat there, hanhing their heads for a while. When they looked up at each other again. They both tried to force a smile.
“Some memories hu?” Said Nyx.”If memories truly makes us who we are, then … who does these make us?”
Sweetie smacked her lips.
“I'm still trying to figure that out. How much do you remember?
“Why do you ask?“
“….There are memories from my own creation. Memories that had been locked away. No … Memories that I weren't supposed to have. For you see, the leader of those who made me. She wanted her for herself. She wanted to copy my mind and turn my template into an army of little fillies for sale. But to do that – I needed to be able to love anyone. So she … deleted my mind. Tried to erase everything.”
“But … She failed right? I mean, otherwise you would not have been sitting here.” Nyx said – Trying to borrow Sweetie's earlier words.
“No … She succeeded. That's why I couldn't remember being a robot. That's why I could not remember being built. I can't remember anything before my second birthday. If it even was my second … I might be older then that … I might be much older … But I have no memories.”
“At least you had a fillyhood.” Said Nyx. “Me - It still does not feel that long ago that I celebrated my first birthday. F.I.R.S.T. ” She spelled out the letters. “I still have barely had enough birthdays to qualify as more then a foal. Its what mommy always says when I misbehave.”
Nyx Crossed her hooves under her chin, and looked out into the trees.
“I will never have a foalhood, and the only reason I feel like a filly and not a foal is … well, you heard what mommy said. Its because that's as old as I time to become by the point the spell was aborted.
Yet – I don't have any memories of Lunas foalhood either. ”
“If the creation spell had been completed – I would have had all the memories of Nightmare moon. Yet – I don't have any memories of Lunas foalhood either. The memories I shared with her don't go further back then to the point where Luna became Nightmare moon.”
Nyx let out a heavy sigh before rising to her hooves again.
“No. What am I saying. I did have all those memories. When the cult found me and completed the creation … so to speak. At least I had them for a while. Before Luna came and, took them back...”
She looked to the sky.
“… Maybe that's why I don't remember if I had any memories of Luna before she became Nightmare Moon. All I had were her emotions, all her sorrow and rage and desires. And of course the feeling of being an adult.”
Nyx blushed a little.
“I guess I became an adult because I had gotten all the memories of an adult I suppose … But I have no memories of the reasons for feeling the was I …
Nyx corrected herself.
“ … the way SHE did. I remember actually thinking about how wrong everything I was trying to do was. How I was not able to justify an eternal night. Maybe that is an evidence of the shortcoming of my memories. I don't know if Luna had any justification, cause - if I had any memories of Luna', before she went all nightmarish...”
Nyx stuck out with both hooves above her head.
“… Then I have forgotten them. Luna would have taken them when she took all other memories.”
There was another moment of silence before Sweetie spoke again.
“At least you don't have to remember a past that is not yours.” She sighed. “At least you don't have to remember the bad stuff .” My mind is also fractured. Once I was able to become one with myself, I rediscovered some of those deleted memories. They were tied to feelings I had felt in the past, and had been stored separately on my Heart-Drive.
She shook her head.
“Most of it is corrupted. Like my mind had not truly formed enough to comprehend what I experienced.”
A dry laugh escaped her.
“Maybe you could say that I really was a foal. And good thing to. Because the few things I can recollect from my deleted past is all bad.”
Sweetie too rose from the ground before speaking the last bit. She looked at Nyx more with horror then sadness.
“They experimented on me … In various horrible ways. I'm actually glad that I can't remember exactly what happened. If thee is any way to restore them, neither me nor my family wants to.
“I … Understand.” Said Nyx. “It would be like me remembering a thousand years on the moon. Luna took those memories away from me, since that punishment was never mine. Yet, there is this sense of origins that remains inside me. Just this knowledge of were, and what I come from.”
She looked up into the sky.
“I would not want to remember that for anything. It would be a burden, not a blessing.”
She looked back at Sweetie.
“It was probably for the best that they made us forget... Wasn't it?” Said Nyx.
“Yea” Sweetie answered reluctantly.
Another moment of silence passed.
”Its scary, Isn't it? How they have manipulated our memories.”
”Memory manipulation in general is scary. Its after all out memories that makes us who we are.”
The two fillies sighed deeply, and stared down into the ground.
“At least we still get to make more memories, right?”
“Ya ... We came through in the end, right?”
“By the skin of our artificial flanks”
They bout looked back at their flanks.
“And that's how I earned my cutie mark.”
They both looked up at each other, surprised that they had spoken in unison.
They tried to smile.
“Yay us.”
***
Somewhere, on the fields outside the other end of Ponyville, Pinkie pie and rainbow dash were in the middle of an intense ballgame. The rules were simple – the ball was to be constantly passes between the two players – and the first one to drop the ball would loose a point.
So far no one had lost a single point. And the speed of the game was only picking up. Rainbow was trying to play it cool, but she was actually starting to break a sweat as she passes the ball back and forth to Pinkie Pie, who seemed to be bouncing around as much as the ball itself, and continuously caught all of Dash's passes without seemingly even trying.
“Ok! But there is no way you are gonna catch this!” Shouted dash. And kicked the ball out of the air with a rocket kick.
Pinkie jumped. Her poofy mane was just about to catch the rocket ball when she froze midair. The ball passed over her as she remained hanging in the air. Her legs shaking, her eyes twitching, and her tail rattling. Her body stayed in the air for a few seconds, seemingly kept afloat by her own wild vibrations, before she fell to the ground with a hard thud, where she collapsed.
Dash ruched over to her friend. She asked what was wrong but Pinkie did not answer. Hr body was still vibrating, her eyes had rolled up in their sockets behind twitching eyelids, and she had begun to foam at the mouth. Dash did the only thing she could think of and grabbed a hold of her spazzing friend, Screaming at her to snap out of her as she struggled to hold on to the vibrating pony.
When Pinkie finally stopped spazzing , she collapsed back into Dash's grip. She blinked a few times when dash called out to her, her eyes filled with dizziness.
“Pinkie, What is it? What was that? What happened?” Dash asked.
”I don't know.” Pinkie stammered, all joy gone from her voice. “ It was like I felt a great disturbance ... It was like if a thousand hearts cried out in sorrow. And then … silence.”
***
“What is the first thing you remember? What first memory is really your own, I mean.”
Nyx lowered her eyes to the vegetation.
“A thorn-bush. I materialized inside a thornbush, I guess when they destroyed the altar, the essence that I was got knocked aside. I remember pain everywhere, Thorns that cut me whenever I tried to move. And the cold, It was raining. And I laid there, starving, Freezing, and without a clue in the world.”
Nyx let out a sigh. Despite the horror of her story she cracked a smile.
“But then, she came. The first pony I ever saw was mommy. She found me, rescued me, and she brought me home.”
A small laugh escaped her.
“So. I guess. For as bad as it was. It was not all bad.”
Sweetie smiled back.
“I know the feeling. The only good, sort-of clear memory I have from my deleted history time is waking up for the very first time. And laying eyes on her.”
“Your mother.” Nyx finished, like it was obvious.
“No – My sister.”
“Oh.” Nyx coughed awkwardly “At least your first memory sounds better then mine.”
“Not really. I was partially dissected on an operating table. And attached to a hundred different machines”
“Oooooooh”
“Don't worry. At least I didn't feel any pain. I couldn’t feel any pain, that function wasn’t installed until later.”
“How does that work.“ asked Nyx. Now seemingly becoming curious. “Can you like … not feel real pain?”
Sweetie rubbed her foreleg.
“That's what everypony seems to believe. But I can feel pain – I can feel everything. My alloys are full of sensors that have been fine tuned to match the sensitivity of everyponies nerve endings. I know because if I wear my biological skin, its nerve endings will synch up with my sensors.”
“But, can you like, Turn it off?” Nyx asked.
“Yes. I can. Just like this.” Sweetie said, and blinked.
-:: Deactivating sensors ::-
If Nyx was expecting any sort of visual clue to what Sweetie did. She would be disappointed. There was no clinking, no beeping nor booping – just a tiny signal, playing in Sweeties mind.
“Hit me.”
“What?”
“You want proof, don't you – Hit me.”
Nyx took a step back.
“No.”
“Come on, you can't break me” Sweetie teased.
Nyx walked up, but rather then throwing a punch, she just gently placed her hoof on Sweeties cheek-plate.
“Actually. I think I could....”
“... I did throw you across the hall after all.”
“Yeah. That was a good throw though. Just what are they feeding you at Celestia's school for gifted unicorns?”
“A lot of oatmeal and carrots mostly.” Nyx began, before picking up on the joke. She made a gag reflex grimace. “Honestly, the food here is much better. That's why mom always sends me plenty of lunchboxes.”
“Speaking of which. Just how much were you able to fit in that saddlebag? Did they teach you that spell at Celestia's school?”
“Actually, It was mom who made that bag. She put the enchantment on it anyway. I'm pretty sure the bag came from your sister.”
Nyx stroke her hoof over Sweeties alloys.
“Can you like … turn off other things? I mean … Do you like have, complete control of your body?”
“Down to the last wire.” Said Sweetie “I can turn off a lot of things. I can turn of my hunger, my fatigue, my tiredness. But, Its not just like I’m hitting the off button on the programs in my systems. I can control the energy in my body directly, My contentiousness can stream down every pat of me that had power running through it. The electricity is like my soul, its power the essence that fills my body... Its how I am able to sense your hoof against my alloys, I can sense electricity, and the small energy your body gives off is noticeable to me. ”
The two of them looked into each others eyes. Sweetie almost subconsciously put her own hoof on top of Nyx's.
“Its … Like a second sense of touch.”
Sweetie blinked, and her eyes flickered on and off.
(she realized she should probably have her eyes as a visual example to begin with. )
Nyx was getting red around the cheeks. And sweetie probably wold have too. Which was probably why she quickly pulled their hoofs away, and averted their eyes.
“So - you don't have to eat, or sleep? Nyx asked, quickly changing subject. “You cant grow tired, or run out of stamina.”
“Well, I can. But I don't have to.”
“That's, Kind of cool.“ Said Nyx. ”I guess I am kind of jealous. There are times I which I could turn off how I feel. Just imagine, if I had been able to turn of the pain and the cold in that thorn-bush.”
“Don't say that.” said Sweetie. “Not being able to feel the world around you can get very … well, I cant say cold. But it gets very … Lonely. Its like you become isolated in your own mind, cut of from the world. Like your body is a cart and you are just riding it. It can be enough to drive a pony insane.”
Sweetie sighed.
“You know … Being a Cybernetic entity is not all good. Sure, I might not have to eat or sleep. But if I run out of power I simply shut down. I will be completely helpless until someone recharges me again. And then there is the maintenance. I don't know any other filly that had to refill her own oil.”
“Then of course there is the height issue.”
Sweetie monitored With her hoof, from her forehead to Nyx, and ended up with a noticeable difference.
“Wow” Sweetie said “I did not realize you had grown that much since we last saw each other.”
“Well” Nyx bluched “I have a whole lot of growing to do.”
She looked back at the statue.
“A whole lot.”
Sweetie failed to take notice of Nyx remark, she just stared at her black friends horn, even that seemed to be just slightly longer then Sweeties.
“Or maybe its just me who have failed to grow.” she said. Rubbing her own foreleg yet again “I cant actually grow at all. Not like you or eveypony else. Its not so bad now but in just a few years everypony of my age is gonna tower over me. Sure I might still mature. But unless I upgrade myself, I will forever remain a filly.”
She held out her leg in front of her.
“How do you think that will feel? To peace by peace replace myself with slightly bigger components? I kind of like the parts I have right now. I'm attached to them. In more ways then one.”
“That's not so bad – You can at least choose how you gonna look when you grow up”. Said Nyx, who had yet to look back from the statue. “You can choose how big you are gonna be. You don't have to be scared of what you will look like when you grow up. None of you have to be scared of that!”
“What to you mean?” Sweetie asked.
Nyx climbed up on the base of the statue. She reared up on her hindlegs while kicking out with her front legs in a pose that reassembled the statue above her. Despite stretching out into her full length, she barely reached the statue up to the knee.
“there you have it” She said. Pointing upwards. “There you have me in 10 -15 years.”
Sweetie looked up at the statue. Her eyes passed between Nyx and nightmare moon a couple of times. Trying to imagine it.
“Do you really think you will look exactly like that?” Sweetie asked.
“Don't you?” Nyx spat in a challenging tone.
She grabbed the statues tail, and heaved herself upwards. Talking as she continued to climb.
“Don't you think I will be this big one day? I know I'm not Nightmare Moon. But I am a copy of her. And if she was such a giant. What says that I wont become a giant as well?”
She peeked her out from the top of the statues head, and looked down on Sweetie.
She held out a hoof in front of her. Blocking out Sweetie behind her hoof.
“Do you know how it feels, to tower over everypony like this? To be afraid that you are gonna step on them?”
“Maybe you should ask Spike?” Sweetie suggested. “I think he is gonna be pretty big one day too.
“I have” Saix nyx, Lowering her hoof “And he is pretty afraid of it too.”
“You seemed to be doing pretty fine when you were Nightma... I mean, when you were big. Besides, Luna and Celectia never has any problems moving around. So why do you think you should have?”
“I …” Nyx stammered.” Its not about that, ok? When I was big. Everypony looked like I was gonna step on them. They were afraid of me.
Nyx stepped of the statues head, and – Fluttering her tiny wings – she did not so much fly as gently descend down to Sweeties level.
“You want to talk about fear? You should have seen the way I look without my skin or shell.” Sweetie said. Pumping a fist to her chest. “Beneath these armored plates there is little more then wires and metal. Some say I look like a skeleton, a barren frame with pistons and hydraulics over a core of iron and gears. Its not a pretty sight.
Sweetie pointed her hoof accusingly at Nyx.
“I'm the one who should be jealousy of you. Try as I might I will never have the kind of power you have, And no matter how big I build myself, I will never look as majestic as you.”
“Majestic?” Nyx sighed but was unable to hide a small blush on her cheeks. “Like a conqueror from the stars.”
“You wont have to wear any armor like that.” Sweetie spouted, and gestured at the statue “If you dont want to look like a scary conqueror, then don't dress like a scary conqueror. You should wear something more casual. Something that complements your headband. Like a scarf – Or a vest. That old purple vest you had was really stylish.”
“I did not like that vest” said Nyx “It was just a way for me to camouflage my wings. A way to hide what I am – Just like my enchanted glasses made my eyes look 'normal'”
“Not to hide your wings I mean. Well cut some holes in it. Or maybe a blue sweater? And some socks – Or legwarmers. I think purple and black would look good on you. And why should you have to have a mane out of stars? Whats wrong with the color you have now?”
Nyx tried to answer:
“My mane “ethernalised” when I got all the power back. In fact, it did so before I got all the power of nightmare. I think its a manifestation of raw magical power. Like – If you let the power continuously flow out of you, causing your hair to energize. ”
“Well” Said Sweetie. You don't have to “Show off”, and even if you cant control what form you mane takes, you could still control what STYLE your mane takes … like tie it up, or comb it all back. Let if flow down like a waterfall of stars, or comb it up into a into a mighty Mohawk
Sweeties cybernetic eyes sparkles as she imagined different hairstyle.
“Besides. Even if you get big, that does not mean you will have to look like Nightmare Moon ...
Nyx put a stop to Sweeties rambling, by showing a hoof into her mouth.
“First of all. You sound like your sister.” She said “Second of all I am nightmare moon. And will always be no matter what I wear.”
Nyx sighed, and took her hoof out of Sweeties mouth.
“I was supposed to become nightmare moon reincarnated. It was only because the spell was interrupted that I did not become more then a ...” She gestured at herself “… a filly with no memory – A blank body. And empty vessel. A filly nightmare moon.”
It was weird to hear Nyx refer to herself as such, given hos she had reacted earlier.
“Really? I didn't think you liked being called nightmare moon?”
“Truth hurts the most, doesn't it” Nyx sighed, with a understanding look at Sweetie. “And the truth is, that's just what I am.”
“Really?” Said Sweetie, and brunched Nyx mane. Her very distinct dark-purple mane “Then how do you explain this?”
Sweetie flickered her hoof through Nyx very distinct dark-purple mane. Causing a curl of it to fall down onto Nyx face.
“Last Time I've checked, Luna did not have a purple mane, even when she was a filly. So how come you have such a mane?”
“Well ...” Nyx looked skywards as she thought.
“The cult... The ponies who made me had to use some blood to kickstart the spell or something. It needed to be a very strong, very powerfully magical source that could fuel the recreation.
“They used blood magic?!“ Sweetie gasped “They sacrificed somepony?!”
No … I mean … Almost.” Nyx visibly trembled a little. “I mean . It didn't take that much blood to make little old me. But … If the ritual had not been aborted … If they had needed more blood. They would probably have used all of … Of m … mommy.
“You mean Twilight!”
Nyx nodded weakly
“ … they used mommy's blood to make me!”
Seeing that Nyx was of the verge of a breakdown, Sweetie walked over and hugged her.
“But does this not mean that you have a piece of Twilight inside you?” she asked. “Is this why you look different from Nightmare Moon? Is this why you have a purple mane?”
“I don't know.” Nyx Rambled “When I went to talk to Spell nexus – The mastermind behind my creation, he said that the spell was just designed to feed of the magical energy in Twilight's blood. That the blood was only needed to fuel the spell, not to become part of its creation. - and that I was no more blood-related to her then a mosquito who drank her blood””
“Buuuuut... You still drank her blood? Right? That must mean that there's still a part of her in you?” Sweetie said optimistically.” Your mane is purple. And Twilight is purple. That has got to mean something. So you might have absorbed the magic from her blood – that still means her energy got inside you. It has to be part of you in some way, since you absorbed it.”
“I don't know” Nyx sighed
Sweetie trailed off.
“I don't know either.”
She let go of Nyx, and sank down on her own haunches.
“Absorbed...” She mumbled, while staring down into the dirt. “Some ponies say that when I was born. My brain would not develop. So these scientists came along and put a piece of crystal in my undeveloped brain. To strengthen my brainwaves. But the crystal ended up absorbing what little energy there was in my brain. I don't know if the filly I was died back there. And that what was absorbed was just a copy of that filly’s brain patterns. ”
Nyx looked at Sweetie. She had never seen her friend so somber before.
“Then … well ... Lest just say that my sister bled on my heart as she sculpted it, and she used all her magic as she fused it into my chest. Some of her energy might have been fused with the heart drive itself, and some of that energy might have been absorbed by my systems and affected my core in some way that made me become me.
So maybe I'm not related directly to Rarity as any more then a leach that absorbed and copied a bit of her energy. And I actually hope so because otherwise that would make her my mother and …
“So maybe she is not my mother and I hope she is not because that would be too weird if my own sister was my ….”
Sweetie was beginning to work herself up into a frenzy, but Nyx hushed her by yet again putting her hoof to her mouth.
“It does not matter.” Nyx said “Even if you are a copy of that previous foal. You did not have any memories to copy. That foal had not been alive for a thousand years, that foal had not been able to form any memories of hate and regrets. Even if you are a copy, you still had your own life. You got to choose who you were to be. I am a copy too. But I was suppose to become somepony very specific. I did not have a choice in the mater.”
“Neither did I.” said Sweetie. “I'm just a prototype, the starting point for a lot of different projects. My template was supposed to become a lot of different things. From an army of war machines to an army of super advanced toys for sale. It was only by intervention that I ended up with my family.”
The two looked at each other.
“We are both copies.” they said in unison.
“Everypony is gonna look at me like I'm nightmare moon. Many already do! And many many think that I'm still nightmare moon, just pretending to be a little filly. Just waiting to take over the world ...again. And many want to destroy me because of it!”
Sweetie Retaliated.
“everypony looks at me like I'm not a real pony, That I'm something unnatural! Like I'm just a machine that thinks I'm a pony. Or worse, just pretending to be one. Like I'm just one second from glitching out and going on a rampage, destroying all of ponykind. And many want to destroy me too!”
They looked at each other.
“We are...”
“… Both unnatural.”
“And we are ...”
“… Always gonna be treated different.”
“We are...”
“… Just the same.”
There was a moment of silence as the two just stared at each other.
Nyx eyes had widened in the dark clearing. Like a cat, or any reptile whose eyes are meant for the night, her knife slip pupils widened in the low light environment of the forest. Now they were (almost) so round that they (almost) looked like a pair of ordinary pony eyes.
Then, in almost perfect unison, a tear started to form in the corners of their eyes.
They both fell into each others forelegs, and started crying.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry” They cried at each other.
“I'm sorry I called you Nightmare moon!”
“I'm sorry I called you a Murder machine!”
“I'm sorry I called you a Mean Machine! And a Pissy-pistons! And Rust heap! And Butt-bot!, and Rusty Robotbrain! and Autistic Automation!
“I'm sorry I called you a Black Bully! And an Alicorn Ass! And pawn of darkness! And Hellspawn! And Constipated clone! And Homunculus!”
“I'm never gonna call you that again! Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!” The girls cried around each other.
They had come to a new understanding. They were both similar in so many ways. Both artificial created fillies who just wanted to be treated like normal ponies. They could both understand how the other felt.
They were like sisters. Two unnatural fillies against the world.
***
The walk back home was long, and the girls were tired and surprised at how much of the day had passed to their bickering.
They continued to talk about their different experiences as they strolled through the town. And their mood finally lightened as they reached the castle.
Twilight was not waiting to great them as they returned, and the girls suspected the might have retreated into her study. Or become otherwise occupied with her royal duties. There was a silent agreement to not disturb her, as the girls snuck into the kitchen to help themselves to some refreshments. Some tea was placed on the stove and some cookies were eaten before the table was set. Neither of them knew exactly what had been learned today. But they agreed that they did not want the princess of friendshipp here to force them to word it into some arbitrary moral.
Besides, the two of them still had a lot of things to talk about. Stuff that concerned them, and could only concern them.
“We both literally met our creators.” Said Sweetie, as she placed the teapot on the table. “And they where both disappointed in us.”
“I guess creators have a very specific vision of how their creation should be.” Said Nyx, and used her telekinesis to pour up two cups of brewing hot carrot tea.
“And then they don't care about what we want.” Said Sweetie.
“I know” said Nyx. “The people who created me wanted me to be Nightmare Moon. And they where really angry when I didn’t want to be.”
“Those who made me wanted me to be a ton of things” Said Sweetie “A guardian robot, a mass produced toy. Some wanted me to be a supercomputer, or just wanted me to be their science project so they could experiment on me forever.”
“Do you think if anyone of them thought of just letting us me kids?”
Nyx question felt rhetorical.
“That was the original purpose for me.” Sweetie answered. “to make me a perfect child. But it fell apart as the makers couldn't agree on a single vision. And then my parents finally tore me away from that madhouse.”
“At least your parents rescued you. I was torn from my mother, and then made into nightmare moon.”
Nyx slurped on her tea.
“I had to be like that for a month or more.”
“But you got to be a Queen.” argued Sweetie ”I had to walk through the rain for a week or more to find out where I came from. And I got nearly destroyed in the process”.
“I nearly destroyed myself when I destroyed the remains of Luna's wrath that had infected all the cultists. And then I had to fight all the monsters who attacked afterward. I got so beaten and bloody that I could not stand up anymore. And then I just … collapsed.
Nyx shuddered at the memory.
“The next thing I knew, I was was waking up, all bandaged up. If it had not been for the others taking care of me I don't think I would have made it.”
“Me neither.” Said Sweetie. “I got positively destroyed in my last fight. If the others had not been there to path me up, I would not be here.”
“And that's how I earned my cutie mark” Both of them said simultaneously.
They looked at each other. And smiled.
“Aren't we a little young to be having near death experiences?” Sweetie asked.
“Maybe. But I had two.” Said Nyx.
“What? No you didn't!”
“Did Too!” Nyx stuck out her tongue. “The only thing scarier then being beaten to near death was standing up to the princesses for all my mistakes. I though I was gonna get sent to the moon for sure!”
“That does not count as a near death experience!”
“Do too! And in the end I was stripped of all my power!”
“Me too!” Proclaimed Sweetie “They took all the weapons away from me. And my armor! And do I even have to tell you how scary it was to think you were gonna get completely dismantled.”
Sweetie slammed her hoof on the table so hard that the tableware rattled.
“Woah! Woah! Woah!” Said Nyx, waving her forelegs over her nearly spilt tea. “what is this turning into? A Who-had-it-the-worst contest?”
Sweetie closed her open mouth, and leaned back in the chair.
“I guess...” She said. Not really sure if she was answering Nyx question or not. “ … Its just scary. To look at people, knowing that they find you scary.”
“It kind of makes you wish we had been able to keep our powers, somehow.” Nyx Answered.
“I guess... But if we had been allowed to keep them, people would look even more sideways at us then they already have.”
“People have wanted to destroy the both of us... At least then people would know they would not be able to.”
“”Yep … Its like people cant look at us without thinking that we are secretly planning to destroy the world.”
”Can you imagine how it would look if we did?”
The two artificially constructed fillies looked at each other, A wide grin spreading across their faces.
***
The ground trembled and the sky darkened over the city.
Down int the streets, ponies were fleeing for their lives. All of them ants to the terrifying shadow that loomed over the city.
Nightmare Moon laughed manically as she raised several buildings up in the air, only to crush them in her magic and drop them down again - destroying several blocks and killing hundreds.
Her magical tail swept across the ground. Devouring all with its mass of darkness. Voices were silenced as they were sucked into the pure vacuum of space. And even more were silenced as Nightmare Moon let thunder and lightning rain from the sky, striking all who she could see with a single swipe of her mighty horn.
Those who tried to get away found their only exit blocked by another monster. The gigantic Murder Machine Mare was stomping her way through the other end of the city. Toppling buildings buildings and cruising vehicles in the street. All were smashed under her giant iron hooves.
She stopped only to pick up carts full of ponies, and put them in her mouth. The carts melted between the Murder Machine Mares teeth as she chewed and swallowed. She then melted a tower by shooting lasers out of her eyes, relining in the screams of the damned as they burned. The Murder Machine mare let out a metallic roar that was sure to shatter every window and eardrum in the cursed city.
The two mares continued their chorus of destruction, letting the helpless ponies know that their last moments had come, that their Princesses had forsaken them and that running would only prolong their suffering...
“What are you girls doing?”
Nightmare Moon and Murder Machine Mare turned around to see Princess 'Mommy' Twilight standing in the open doorway.
Twilight, in turn, had two pair of eyes staring back at her from the almost pitch black room. A pair of knife slit eyes that reflected the light from the hallway, so that they glimmered in a moon like shimmer. The other pair was that of two of green orbs that glowed with a light all on their own.
It made scenes that the two where able to play in the poorly lit room. Both practicably had night vision. Nyx cat like eyes where made for the darkness of the night and Sweetie's cybernetic eyes where well adapted for low light environments.
Twilight flicked the light switch on. Both fillies covered their eyes as to not be blinded by the sudden brightness. Nyx eyes retracted till her pupils where thin as needles, and Sweetie Belles visual settings suddenly became disarranged. It took them both a second to get their sight back. And when they did, Twilight was standing over them.
Twilight was looking down at two fillies standing in the middle of a huge array of cardboard boxes with lots of tiny squares drawn on them. Between the 'buildings' lay pretty much every toy in the castle, mostly miniature dolls and carts. As well as a flurry of nuts and bolts. Some of which Sweetie was currently chewing on.
But what really drew Twilight's attention was the getups the two of them had donned. Nyx was wearing a helmet and chest piece made papier-mâché and silver-like aluminum foil. The same material was warped around her legs to make horseshoes and bracelets. And even a crown donned her head.
Her mane and tail had been filled with glitter and ribbons (in which some of her toys had been tangled up). And she wore a piece of blue cloth for a cape (thrown over her shoulder for dramatic effect). On her rear she had replicated Nightmare Moons cutie mark by splashing what looked like shoe polish over her own shield themed mark, and then painting it over with water colors.
Her knife slit eyes and stretched out wings completed the picture of the nightmare moon costume she had once been wearing for the school play.
She then looked over to Sweetie.
Where Nyx had dressed up. Sweetie Belle had dressed down. Having removed her mane and tail as well as detaching all exterior alloys plates, exposing her mechanical inner. She had then warped herself up in an armor of foil ,with several thorny points, and she had several metallic strings sticking up from her head, like antennas. On her tailbone she had fasten more of those same strings in a bundle that looked like a metal whisk. She had also removed her contact lenses so that one could see the faint green glow of her exposed cybernetic lenses.
In short, the two of them looked like they were dressing up for nightmare night.
“Again. What are you doing?”
“Um... We are just playing.” said Nyx with the biggest nervous smile she could muster.
“Playing what?”
Some hesitation preceded the answer
“N.M and MMM.” Nyx said. hoping that would be enough.
Apparently it wasn’t, as Twilight asked:
“Which stand for?”
“Nightmare Moon and the Murder Machine Mare”
Twilight gave them a scorn look.
“And what is Nightmare Moon and the Murder Machine Mare doing?”
“Um... Going on a rampage and destroying the world?”
“Just one city.” Sweetie added.
“Is that so. Well you should know that if you are planing on destroying the world then I have to stop you...”
Both fillies lowered their heads apologetic, awaiting another scolding. And hoping Twilight wouldn't ground them for planing to destroy the world just for fun.
“… Like this!”
Twilight leaped forward and grabbed Nyx in her forelegs. She then proceeded to blow a raspberry on her tummy. Nyx burst out laughing and flailing her legs in all directions. Twilight refused to let go and proceeded to tickling ones her raspberry ran out of breath.
“I'm gonna banish you! To the land of eternal tickles!”
In between her bursts of laughter, Nyx managed to scream for help.
“No! Machine Mare! Save me!”
This broke Sweetie out of her trance. She jumped on Twilights back. Who let out a painful yelp from the spikes on Sweeties dress. She rose to her hooves ant tried to shake the assailant of. But the Menacing Machine Mare held on to her back by her wings. So Instead, Twilight had to levitated Sweetie of her.
“I got you now” She grinned, as she levitated Sweetie in front of her.
“No. I got you”. Shouted Nyx as she ran back into her mothers embrace. Tackling her so that they both fell to the floor. This caused twilight to loose her magic grip on Sweetie, who dropped down and joined the fight.
“Yield princess mommy!”
“Never!”
The trio proceeded to wrestle around on the floor. Tumbling over each other screaming the name of different attacks and spells they imagined they where using.
“I hit you with my moon beam!”
“I'll zap you with my laser eyes!”
After several minutes of rolling around on the floor they all collapsed in a heap.
With her last breath, Nightmare Moon proclaimed. “And that’s how Equestria was made!”
And then they all rolled of each other laughing.
“So. Are you not mad at us mommy?” asked Nyx, one the laughter subsided.
“Of course not girls. I know you where just playing. Riiiiiiiight?” she teased
“Yeeeeessss.” answered the two in an equally teasing unison (that will in no way inspire more fanficks)
“I am however mad about the mess you made in here” Said Twilight in a more serious tone “You are gonna have to clean this up”
”So are you! You played too!” Nyx argued.
Twilight sighed in defeat.
”Ok. But lets get changed first.”
Within a second the two where up from the floor and out the door.
“How am I gonna get this moon mark of?”
“Where did I put my alloys?”
Twilight sighed, as she begun to levitate the toys up from the floor.
“There they go.” she though. “Two of this worlds strangest creations. Too unique to be multiplied, too rare to disappear.“
She did not think the would have to force any lesson upon them. What they seemed to have learned more in the past hours was worth more then what could be put upon a piece of paper after all.
She was just glad that, when all things came around, they now had someone they could talk to.
Author's Note
Wow - I can't believe that only one year ago I was writing the 'Halloween special' chapter 'Two days at Teddy's' for my little 'Sweetie – a hearts warming tale' story.
I could say something about how its a different kind of horror story. Where the horror is more in the aspects of whats being discussed - Or something meta like that. But in Truth: I just happened to have this story done by now. And decided to give it out in time for Halloween.
As far as continuity goes, I guess this story is more Semi-continuity then anything. Which is why I intentionally leave it a little vague exactly when this story is taking place (Though - Logically It would have to take place almost immediately after 'Sweetie - A Hearts Warming Tale')
The idea that Nyx goes to Celestias School for gifted unicorns is a weak excuse of an explanation as to why Nyx had not appeared in my other story.
Truth was – that story was about Sweetie, and no one else, And as much as I love Nyx It would only have complicated things to force her into the narrative.
That said: Pen Stroke, If by some of chance you are reading this. I'm sorry if I borrowed Nyx without asking permission. And I'm even more sorry if I butchered her character. Peace don't make me take this story down.
I know that the beginning dragged on forever, I can only hope I managed to strike a balance in an argument between two children both wanting to come out on top of the quarrel.
(and apparently I am unable to write anything without it becoming overly dramatic and turning into a fight scene)
Now – I know it ha been forever since I last updated the story of “Sweetie – The magical little bot”
The Reason is that I have been dealing with some very personal, very family related loss.
Since then. I have just not been in the mood to continue that happy little go luck story – and I don't think I will Continue it before Christmas. I'm gonna take another break from writing. And get back to that when I feel like it again.
Until then. I wish you all a Happy Nightmare Night. And I hope to see you all in the future.
Peace out – Grimweird.
