Faggots' Days with Monster Gurls

Chapters

Spilt Milk
Cold Air
Proper Framing
Still Alive
Sleepy Hallow
Monster Babbies

Spilt Milk

Today is gonna be a bore, thought the man, who had just woken up from an hour slumber. It would’ve been longer if only he wasn’t so distracted with scouring the boards for any leaks for the newest Star Trek television series, that had been announced quite a while ago.

The young lad, somewhere in his early 20’s opened his eyes, and looked over to his digital alarm clock. It was 4:34 in the morning, a little too early for him. Normally he would’ve woken up to his alarm violently assaulting his ears, destroying whatever dream he was having of his Star Trek waifu; Captain Janeway. She may not have been his favourite Captain as that was reserved for Kirk, but she was a great Captain no less and a woman to boot. A female Captain was all he really needed.

Still, he had woken up quite early, and oddly enough he didn’t feel too tired. In fact he felt rather well rested actually. It’s as though he slept for a good 10 hours rather than that 8 hour bullshit. What kind of sane person sleeps only for 8 hours? That’s suicidal. The man feeling well rested pushed his thin blanket off of him, letting the warm air escape into the air. Feeling the chilled air jolted the mind into awareness, his gaze went to the lone winter in the opposite side of his bedroom.

Winter has arrived.

Neat.

His friends from up north would love to wake up to the snow, especially Pat. She’s probably celebrating Christmas already despite it still October.

The man, who has a name but will be called Red, had rolled off of bed and warmed the air, by letting out some gas. He gave a slight smirk, recognizing the smell of the veggie burger in the air.

Walking out of his room and right into the living room/kitchen he made his way to the fridge. Once opening it, he noticed that he forgot to go shopping last night. It’s all empty, his glorious fridge that’s a mini. Yes, his poor ass could only afford himself a mini fridge, his mom said she could buy him some things for his apartment, but he didn’t want to feel like a child. So he manned up, and sold some of his Star Trek collectibles for a fridge, that’s a mini.

So, he’s in a dilemma. He’s hungry, and he has no food.

Well, he has food, but he doesn’t want to eat canned spaghetti for breakfast.

The decision was made almost immediately, he wants to eat Captain Crunch for breakfast. This time, with milk since he’s been saving up an entire week to afford the luxury item.

Red had just exited the gas station with his goods in hand, all kept safely in cheap plastic bags that stop blood flow and handles breaking easily. It was currently 4:46, it didn’t take very long to walk to the closest place where he can purchase his breakfast. Since the time was mentioned twice already, might as well say that it’s October 13. Not too long before Christmas/Halloween officially starts.

He didn’t really celebrate the holiday anymore, as spending time on holidays usually require money and friends. He had friends, but not enough money to go out and have fun for a few hours. He’ll probably spend this year’s Halloween looking for new pictures of women in Janeway costumes.

Feeling adventurous this morning Red has chose to walk through the alleyway, a short cut to his apartment. He usually never walks through this place as it’s very dark most of the time, even then shady looking people likes to hang around these parts. As the buildings that create the alleyway are filled with crackheads and gangers, who would have no issue dealing with him.

But they’re most likely asleep, so he can freely walk through the alley-OHGODWHY!

Red didn’t pay attention to his surroundings all too well, as it’s pretty dark. So it’s more or less that he could’ve than wouldn’t. Still, he didn’t pay attention to the ground. He had trip, and landed on the cold surface and cried to himself. He landed on the milk, and the carton exploded. He did something far worse than accidentally spilling a cup of milk, he crushed the milk to death.

Red gave a mental salute to the milk, and let out of a scream into the dark sky. He also had lost something more than milk this day, for he had also wasted his savings. The milk money was spilt all over the snow covered asphalt.

He angrily looked over to his feet, wanting to know what has caused him to fall over. His eyes widened ever so slightly, for he sees a long bar that leads up to a wicked looking blade. He had accidentally tripped over a pole of a dangerous item. He thanked god that this accident wasn’t fatal, as it very much could’ve been.

He got up from the snow, and with trepidation he moved over to the weapon. He was being cautious, trying not to make as much noise as possible. He didn’t want to wake up any nearby hobos, or, try not to wake them up any further than he already did.

Once he made it over to the weapon, he gave it a good look over. It didn’t look very practical, with how much material was put into the blade. It was quite thick, and too large for it to be used effectively. It looked more decorative than anything else, as the design didn’t look to comfortable to hold onto. Then there’s the size of the handle, the pole’s length was waaay too long. This looked as though it was made to be used by a Giant from one of his fantasy books, which were written by R. A. Salvatore.

The blade was reflecting the moon’s light, it seemed to as though it was shimmering. He would’ve thought it was magical, except that he’s a man of science and logic rather than sorcery.

He then reached out to it, and grabbed a hold of it.

He nearly broke his back trying to lift the damn thing. Like, holy shit was it heavy! It must’ve weighed a ton or two. A forklift was needed to carry this hunk of metal.

Back feeling sore, Red then proceeded to do some stretches to relieve the aches. Red was going for another go around of twisting on the wait, to bring satisfying cracks to his back. But his eyes has spotted something, that something was an extremely large hand which was twitching. The rest of the body must’ve been hidden away in the shadows. Red was still for a moment, waited to see if the person would move, and reached for his mobile device.

He quickly and quietly put on the flashlight app, and casted the vision cone to the hand, and worked his way up.

Red almost let out a surprised yelp, his hand was shaking. The person didn’t have an extremely large hand, but was instead the hand of a giant! A giant that was covered in fur. Could’ve been worse, the Giant could’ve been naked and butt ugly. Instead it looked quite nice to look at, with the white fur blending into the snow, and the long hair on the head was splayed all over the place - covering the face as it lay to the side.

He could spot what looks to be small - well small in comparison to the body - horns jutted out to the side of the forehead, and were curving to the back slightly. They had a slightly purple tinge to them, the only real colour to the Giant.

Like, holy shit what if this was the yeti?

Well, he would be totally screwed if that was the case, but it’s probably not. The more he investigated the more he noticed that the fur was more of a coat, with the arms and legs totally exposed. It’s probably just a cosplayer that had one too many drinks tonight. Well, he hopes that;s that case anyways. Normally the(clawed) feat would’ve been shivering along with the hands, but it seems that despite all logic in evolution the giant of a person seems to not be affected by the winter chill. Human skin and body fat alone will not prevent you from shivering, once the cold has taken to you. That’s why we wear clothes, other than that we live in a society that frowns upon nudists…

Giant or not, his moral compass guides him. He needs to check on the person, to see if they’re okay. There may not have been any visual cues that this person is freezing, but that doesn’t mean he’s fine. The person has been laying on snow covered asphalt for who knows how long, must’ve lost a lot heat to convection and conduction.

Quickly making his way over to the giant of a person, he checked on the outreached hand. He was surprised that despite it being mostly covered in snow it was warm if only a little. He didn’t spend much time dwelling on it, just glad to know that this person isn’t freezing. Now to check on the most important bit, the artery. Red let out a sigh of relief, there was a pulse.

He probably should’ve checked on the face, to see if there was any blockage or anything preventing the person from breathing. But he wasn’t an expert in first aid, didn’t want to accidentally hurt the person.

He instead chose to call 911, that was the most logical course of action to take.

What Red hasn’t noticed is that the person’s breathing has evened out, and awareness was brought to the figure laid on the cold ground.

Cold Air

As the snoweth hath fallen 'round me, I did awake to the sound of a male muttering to himself as he loomed over me. Mine own vision wast blurred but I wast able to maketh out his form as that he wast examining some strange, rectangular metal device that radiate glow ever so gently. Compared to the denizens of the Painted World he wast frail, short and whey-face as snoweth; that undead didn’t seem liketh an Undead Warrior, but looks art oft deceiving.

With all the grace and might I couldst muster, I hath tried to standeth up only to stumble backeth and slam into the mure behind me.

“Hey, take it easy. You okay, it looks like you made a dent into the brick wall. Do you need an ambulance or anything?” The stranger hath asked me, feigning concern most likely, as that undead tooketh a step back as I did arise from the cold surface. The deceptive brute wast stunned at mine own size and stature, it wast of nay surprise, nay doubteth unaware of who is't that man did dare to dare.

“Halt Undead One, I commandeth thou to not maketh a foot to me. ” I commanded with a stern expression, 'long with a well practiced tone to expresseth mine authority. Stopping the naive man in his tracks, though to mine own surprise, yond undead hath seemed more bewildered than fearful.

“I assure you, I’m not Undead I just want to help. You were lying unconscious on the ground, I thought you might be hurt or something.” The cowardly undead defended thineself, hoping to maketh a fool of I, by into dropping mine own guard; instead, I picked up mine own scythe and readied myself. Thankfully, that undead hath seemed mortified at how easily I wielded mine own weapon. “Woah...Hey, I’m not trying to hurt you or anything…” That undead hath continued, stepping backeth with raised hands and genuine feareth.

“If thou truly desire to not bringeth harm to I, then I beg of thee, leaveth I be and hurry home. ” I did request, hoping to the avoideth of pointless bloodshed.

“I can’t just leave you out here alone at night, you might be concussed or worse; I can just call an ambulance if you want.” The undead reasoned in his poor imitation of the language of Lord Gwyn, gesturing to the bizarre device in his grasp as that undead back'd off near a discarded, transparent container left on the snow covered surface and did stay there.

“I’m in nay needeth of this ‘ambulance’ of yond thee speaketh, I request to knoweth where thou hath taken mine self.” I did exclaim as I scoured the narrow, dark and cluttered passage for any recognizable features or markers. Only to beest stunned at the absence of familiarity.

“Me? I just found you lying there in the snow, I thought you’d passed out on the way home. Look, do you need to call someone? You look like you could use some help.” The minuscule undead claimed, growing more worried and did confuse by mine own statements then aught else; despite the untrustworthy nature of the undead, I beganeth to doubt the seemingly harmless undead wast capable of teleporting myself somewhere else entirely.

“Hm. . . Thee lack a powerful soul. Thee couldst not been able to transport me to another parteth of Ariamis, but how can I believeth yond thou art not planning to harmeth I?” I did question, still doubtful of the altruistic purposes of the lone Undead.

“Look at it like this, you’re a towering, extremely strong, scythe carrying giantess and the most combat experience I have is watching people shoot lasers at each other; If I wanted to die that badly I’d just shot myself or something. I don’t want to hurt you, please trust me.” The tiny, frail Undead seemed honest, his blatant phrasing causing me to grin slightly; his statement paired with his benign soul eased my unrest.

“Despite your boorish tongue, I believe you’re speaking truthfully...Very well, do you at least know where in Ariamis we are?” I inquired, praying I was right to believe the Undead, causing him to sigh with relief as he approached me.

“I’ve never heard of ‘Ariamis’ but I can tell you we’re in America.” The stranger began, and continued to inform me of the strange, unheard of land I found myself within; his lack of knowledge about my home was disconcerting.

“Thank you...This is all quite sudden...Tell me, Undead, what is your name?” I thanked, before questioning.

“My friends call me Red, short for Redshirt, what about you?” Red introduced himself with a small smile, to which I returned one of my own.

“You may call me Priscilla.” I told him with a small nod and grin.

“Nice to meet you, and to no longer have a massive scythe pointed at me.” Red began, elated that he wasn’t going to die at the hands of a massive, possibly delusional Giantess, before realizing she was a Giantess and they were currently sitting in the bad part of town in the dead of a winter night. “I don’t want to alarm you, but we’re in a pretty bad neighbourhood; I don’t like stereotyping people but it’s the dead of night and this place is kinda known for stab happy people and yeti hunters and to be honest you look kind of like a yeti.” Red continued, suddenly worried that some criminal would fuck up his chance at first contact or kill them.

“If we’re approached by some uncouth criminals I assure you I could dispatch them.” Priscilla stated, assured, causing Red to fret even more.

“Yeah, that’s the problem. There are no Humans who’re over two meters tall, covered in fur and with horns so a non-Human, unknown person killing people would...Frighten many, many people.” Red exclaimed, beginning to panic at the thought of them being discovered or Priscilla murdering someone. “Oh god I don’t want to disappear…” He whispered to himself, mind racing with thoughts of Men in Black.

“Very well, if you’re so insistent we can simply teleport to your...Something's wrong, it’s like I’m drained of power…” She stated, alarm and fatigue taking hold as she tried to cast a relatively simple spell given her power.

“This is soooo crap...Okay, I’ve got an idea.” Red said aloud with a snap of his glove covered fingers as he rushed together a half baked plan.

“Well, what is it?”

“We’re gonna sneak through the night back home before the sun comes up! It’s a few kilometers but if we run while avoiding the roads we could make it!” Red figured, hoping it’d be easy to disguise a three meter tall, armed, fur covered Giantess.

“That sounds far from perfect…” She retorted, disbelief matching her unimpressed look.

“Well it’s all I’ve got, now come on we’ve got to hurry!” He insisted as he skulked into the shadows, Priscilla hurrying after him, as they began the long trek towards Red’s home through lands no Human had boldly gone before: the poor side of town - the slums.

Red made his way to the end of the alleyway, staying close to the brown, aged brick walls. He was moving in the shadows, yet he wasn’t silent. He never put any time into the art of being sneaky, he stepped on trash that was hidden in the darkness a few times. He cursed everytime, and he could hear the Giantess behind him make an amused noise at his clumsy efforts. He was slightly peeved at his incapabilities of moving without alerting the area, and was slightly jealous of the huge woman that shadowed him. He didn’t know how, but he couldn’t hear her the effort she had made to remain undetected from the surrounding populace.

He would’ve thought she hadn’t followed or abandoned him if he hadn't heard her gave out a light titter from her.

Red raised his left hand up, and signalled her to stop much like how the military conducts hand signs with one another during an operation. “Hold up, I’ll stand out less than you so let me check the area.” He didn’t look back or waited for an acknowledgement from her, he walked out of the alleyway by a couple feet, and quickly scanned the entire area as much as he could. Of course there would be places he couldn’t be sure, like windows or other alleyways covered in darkness, but things were looking pretty good as he spotted no one.

“Priscilla, the trees!” Red whispered loudly to the Giantess, and she quickly and quietly made her way in between two evergreen trees that lined the sidewalk. Sure, the lights lit her up, but hopefully the snow on them gave her some amount of camouflage.

She kneeled down, keeping her weapon pointed upwards. “Where to next?” She had asked in her old english speak, in a hushed manner. She too scanned what she could see, her eyes widened at the unfamiliar architecture that lined the streets.

“Alleyway just across the street. Be quick, no telling if someone from above will see us.” Red replied and she gave a nod. She looked up to the unfamiliar boxed buildings that stood taller than most at her former home, before the Painted World; Anor Londo. Her thoughts came back to her when Red sprinted across the deserted street, and she was quick to follow and caught up with the smaller person. She had longer strides, and made it to the dark passages between the buildings before Red.

Red came running loudly into the alleyway, joining Priscillia as he announced his arrival with heavy breathing. Red clearly wasn’t in shape as he gasped, trying to take in air as he spat out saliva that built up in his mouth.

“Are you quite alright?” Priscilla asked, slightly concerned for her new found companion as they sneaked their way through unfamiliar territory. Red held up a shaky hand before answering.

“Yes, just having a bit of a hard time running on freshly fallen snow.” Red explained as he wiped some perspiration on her brows.

“Good to hear.” The Giantess replied, no longer concerned now that she knew her companion was quite fine. He was just having trouble with his footing is all.

Okay, just a few more alleyways and we’re probably there.” Red said as he snuck back into the shadows, to a person much like him they would have trouble seeing him in the dark, but not Priscilla. She was able to see where he was, which made it all the more easier to not accidentally bump into him in the cluttered passageways.

“Red, you mentioned that we probably would arrive at the destination you have previously mentioned?” She spoke quietly, as they were only for his ears only.

“Yes, this part of town is like a grid, so it wouldn’t be too hard to arrive at my place.” Red replied as he stepped over a garbage back, which Priscilla walked over without notice. “I just need to spot a familiar landmark and we’re golden.”

While she was starting to question his lead, as he was also unfamiliar with the passageways they were taking, she couldn’t lose faith in him. He’s a resident of this Kingdom, even if he didn’t knew of every street from memory then he would recognize landmarks. He also had knowledge of the area, such as the way it was organized into a grid like fashion. While she wasn’t the type of person to place her trust in total strangers, some faith was required in this endeavor.

“I shall follow you even further then.” Priscilla announced, making Red stop in his tracks and looking back at her.

“The way you worded that-” Red zipped up his coat, he continued.”made it sound like you were planning on not following me all the way.”

“I wasn’t planning anything, it simply was a thought that briefly crossed my mind.”

“Then why make it sound like you were?”

“Red, I’m in a unfamiliar part of the world, everyone within this Kingdom are strangers of which their capabilities of know not of.” She spoke as she looked over a chain fenced, only to see more garbage. “It would be unwise of me to not think of other options.”

“Yeah okay, I understand, but trust me on this. There’s nowhere safer than at my place.” Red spoke, telling what version of the truth from what he felt. He knew there were several other places she could’ve gone to, but he wouldn’t rest easy not knowing where she was and how she was doing. It’s not everyday you come across someone so alien, yet human.

Priscilla motioned for Red to continue taking the lead, she looked back only briefly, for just a moment, before following the heavy footed leader.

Just as they about to reach the end of their dark passageway, the sound of dogs barking was suddenly made. Priscilla quickly looked to where the barking was coming from, and spotted the dogs. There were five of them, all large and mean looking. They looked as though they were ready to tear any living being apart, and could do so with ease. Luckily much to Red’s relief they were sealed off from the main passageway behind a linked fence, with a thick chain keeping the dogs from busting open the gate.

“Phew, that was a close one. If they were stray dogs then I can’t imagine they would give us-” Red was cut off as lights behind the fenced off dogs were turned on, and someone opened their window.

“Hey, shut up you mangy mutts! Don’t make me come out there or I’ll!-” The woman was drowned out by the dogs, who were now obviously not barking at nothing, but at both Priscilla and Red.

“Come one, let’s go before we’re spotted!” Red called out and Priscilla followed, but were but off once more when a beam of light appeared in front of Red. The smaller of the two began to curse to himself for nearly being spotted, they were about to turn the other direction when they both froze at the sound of someone calling them out.

“Hey, who’s bothering my dogs! Come out or I’ll call the cops on you!” The dog owner yelled out, as she wielded a flashlight in her hand. The light was currently scanning their exit, and Red was starting to panic once more while Priscilla was debating what to do, but before she could decide anything for herself Red gave a pretty desperate instruction.

“Quick, before she shines she light on us, dive into the show!” Priscilla looked around her, trying to find a snow mound large enough to cover her, but she was too slow for Red;s taste and he tackled her legs causing her to slip, and fall to the hard asphalt. She inwardly groaned in annoyance, as she fell on her back and hitted her head hard against the ground. Before she can voice her complain she needs to blend in, she then tried to make herself as flat as possible, allowing the clumps of snow to fall onto her, while letting the snow on the ground lay next to her.

Her fur coat and hair, along with her tail quickly became blended with the snow, but with wasn’t enough. Her hands and scythe, along with her legs were still exposed. Red was a quick thinker tho, he grabbed some frozen garbage bags and tossed them onto her exposed skin, along with burying the large blade with some fresh garbage bags that has yet to freeze. Still, he was extremely paranoid so he moved in front of laying Giant, and blocked the dog owner’s only possible view to the Giant’s scales that protruded out from her forehead.

This was all done in just few seconds, it seems Red can move quick when he really needs to. As the dog owner finally pointed her flashlight to her, Red’s eyes were annoyed from the lightbeam glaring onto him, making his vision sorta difficult. He held a hand out out front, trying to block the light from his eyes.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!?” The woman yelled out from her window, as the dogs finally chose to growl at the two rather than bark.

“Uh, walking home?” Red nervously replied, hoping that Priscilla was able to get some good snow coverage. Her fur may make good camouflage, but under a light the hairs can cast shadows.

“Hmph, now is that the truth?” The woman spoke with a disbelieving tone, still Red spoke.

“I’m on my way home from work, and I just decided to take a detour for a change.” Red had hoped this would convince the woman to go back to whatever she was doing in her aged household. Yet she continued to question him.

“I would believe that, but why would my dogs bark at you? Unless you were bothering them!” She yelled out, looking as though she was prepared to run out from her back door, and break his face with her large flashlight.

“I was not bothering your dogs, I was simply walking by and they started to aggressively bark at me.” Red held out both of his hands hoping to calm down the woman dozen of meters away from both he and the Giantess. Just as the woman was about the yell at him again he spoke out once more. “It’s the truth, I was simply walking home. I do not know what caused your dogs to become aggressive, but it wasn’t my fault.” He calmed down now that the woman looked like she was getting tired of this.

“Fine, but if I see you walking past here again and my dogs bothered once more, I’m coming for you.” The woman threatened, and Red was sure she would keep her promise as these parts of the city was known for it’s brutal residents.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry for what has occurred, now would you mind?” Red then gestured to her flashlight, and she caught on to his message. She then turned off the torch, glared at him for a few moments before shutting her window and closing her curtains. Red then looked at the dogs who retreated back to their shelter, which was under a wooden porch. Red let out a sigh as Priscilla got off the cold ground, and shook her body causing a mini snow storm to occur between the two.

“That was some quick thinking Red.” Priscilla complimented as she shook her tail, all the show that built up on her has fallen back to the ground and onto Red. He wasn’t too bothered, a little chilled but that was corrected by him simply brushing the snow off of him.

“Yeah, sorry about throwing trash on you.” He apologized as he picked up a garbage bag, and placed it where it roughly used to be at. Priscilla raised an eyebrow at this, before feeling a little gross. She shook herself, to rid of whatever fill that may still be on her. Snow and bits of dirt was sent into the air, causing another small snow storm and Red feeling slightly more chilled with the snow specks touching the his unprotected neck.

After a few more moments Red had cleaned up his mess. “Now with that taken care of, let’s go before the morning runners and dog walkers come out.” With that they continued their adventure, with Red taking the lead and the giantess silently following him.

Proper Framing

They traveled with incident for the next few minutes, there were a few close calls with some people driving to and from work, and the city transit making a sudden turn towards them. Still, Priscilla had managed to stay hidden with her using the snow as camo and hiding within the darkness. Ironically it wasn’t the giantess who seem to be drawing attention to them, but it was instead Red as he was having trouble skulking the night. Many people looked at him with suspicion, like what kind of man who audibly run in the shadows of early morning? Except for maybe a small time criminal such as a thief.

“We’re almost there, my place is just around the corner.” Red said in between breathes, he was having trouble standing as he was bent forward with his hands on his knees, The Giant stopped feeling worried for the small man, as he seem to be in perfect health other than being out of shape.

“Red, may I suggest something to you?” Priscilla asked as she leaned against the brick wall of a building, doing her best to blend into the shadows and snow.

“Yeah, sure.” Red wheezed out as he continued to labour his breathing.

“I don’t mean to offend, but after some time I a thought came into my mind from I have witnessed from you.” She said as she scanned the alleyway across the road, satisfied that no one spying on them she continued. “What I am going to suggest may wound your pride.”

“Ugh, don’t worry I don’t get offended easily.” The shorter one said this time with much ease than before. “Just say what’s on your mind.” Red then wiped off the sweat on his forehead, feeling quite gross and cold from the sweat that built up on his back.

“You need to exercise more, you’ve demonstrated that you clearly not fit.” She said without pause. Silence grew between the two, it would’ve been awkward yet Red didn’t seem to care of what she has said.

After a couple minutes Red’s breathing has calmed itself. “Heh, I know that already, just haven’t really gotten around to keeping myself in shape.” He then twisted his back from left to right, his back popping at every twist. He stopped after a few moments, muttering how good that felt. Priscilla was a little grossed out from what he had done, like what kind of sane person would purposefully cause their back to crack?

“What do you mean Red? You look to be a young able bodied man, shouldn’t you be somewhat fit from the labour you do for your keep, and tax?” Priscilla questioned, wondering why would a should be able young man not be in shape? Surely all the work he does would atleast be taxing on his body, strengthening him over the course of his work.

“Nope, where I work at being in shape is not a requirement.” Red simply answered as he checked the time on his watch.

“Odd, what do you do to make ends meet?”

“I’m a student.”

“That doesn’t answer the question Red.” Priscilla said with a raised eyebrow, Red thought it looked a little odd with the scales being where her eyebrows should’ve been, if she were a human. The fine hairs on her forehead also helps to make it all the more odder, but he’s not bothered by it, as it’s how she is and that’s fine..

“”I’m an assistant to a professor, and I also teach classes on occasion.” Red answered, thinking of when he’ll start feeling tired. It’s gonna be a pain in the ass to be in class once he starts feeling sleepy. In fact, he’s already starting to feel tired. “C’mon, it won’t take us more than a minute to get to my place.” With one more glance down the path they would take, Red took off in a sprint. Priscilla spent a couple more moments looking around themselves, just as she was about to exit the alleyway and chase after Red, she spotted a flash that came from a window. A window that was a couple dozen yards away from her. She thought nothing of it, thinking it was one of the street lights reflecting off a window.

She took off and once more silently ran without making any amount of noise, still there was a concern for the huge tracks she was making. Hopefully her fluffy tail would make it look as though a low walking, furry animal was walking here instead a giant person. She was quick to catch up to Red, and kept pace with him with ease that made the man jealous of her.

“We’re here, and thankfully no one has spotted you.” Red said as they stopped at a small building, a little run down but it looked nice. Unlike the streets they were at this street was lined with small two story apartments along with the occasional single floored. The roof looked new and the windows visibly were barricade, as they had iron security bars. Red panted as he walked up the four step stairs, made his way across the small patio and fished out his keys.

“Red, there’s a slight issue with your plan.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“It’s gonna be a tight squeeze getting through you door…”

“Ah… well, I’m sure we can squeeze you on in, I know there’s just enough room for you to lay comfortably in the place… Sitting tho? That’s gonna make your back feel sore after a while.” With that he opened the door, and made work to accommodate his guest by moving furniture out of the way, to make as much room as he can for Priscilla. She gave him an odd look before she begun inspecting the door.

“This is most likely going to break something…” She insisted as she began trying to wiggle into the house.

“Now take it easy, let’s not-”

“I’m stuck.” She interrupted, squirming uncomfortably as her fur was being pulled by the door frame.

“Okay, okay please calm down before you break the frame...Let me think…I’ve got it!” He shouted as he ran into the house.

“What is it?” She cried out, somewhat in pain and somewhat annoyed.

“If we use some butter, we might be able to slide you into the house; sure it might be messy but at least you won’t break anything...I hope…Please let TV be right for once.” He pleaded as he searched for some butter while she grunted and huffed in pain.

“Red, that sounds asinine! Wait, I think I’ve got it, just a little more…” She complained with a scowl before feeling something give.

“Wait, before you go forcing your way in think about-” Red was interrupted however, as when he bolted back into the front of the house he saw her slam inside, breaking the door frame and the door in the process. White painted wood and glass covered the floor as Red suppressed a scream of anger.

“...Ops.” She meekly responded, her expression of embarrassment heightened by the flakes of paint and rubble on her face.

“God damn it…” Red cussed with his head in his hands, dropping the butter as he wondered how much the repairs would cost.

“Sorry, but I wasn’t going to wait for you to rub butter into my fur.” She defended, grossed out at the idea of rubbing butter into her hair and body to maybe squeeze through.

“Gah, the butter probably wouldn’t work anyway…” Red muttered, glaring at the fucked up door frame. “Well, you’re inside so that’s something.”

“Your home is...Quaint.” Priscilla complemented, trying to ignore how laughably small it was given her size.

“Yeah, sorry about the low roof...God, how the hell am I going to fix this mess?” Red asked rhetorically, as he looked up at the ceiling. “I can barely afford ramen on my budget, and now this shit?” He continued, freaking out and worrying Priscilla.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we can figure something out...If you want, I could aid you in rebuilding it?” She tried to calm, patting Red on the back and in doing so almost knocking him over.

“No it’s okay, I don’t even really know how I’d fix it...Shit, I’d need a contractor or something…And how the hell would I hide you from him?” Red mused, alarmed and agitated beyond belief.

“I’m sure we could figure something out.” She countered, unsure herself, with a half hearted smile.

“Yeah, but I’d rather figure that shit out sooner rather than later.” He stated, irked how how shitty ‘first contact’ was going. “I’ll figure something out later, right now I should probably find you somewhere to-”

“Holy shit, Red! You okay?!” Someone interrupted, shouting from outside, and was soon followed by the sound of jogging. Rushing to the door, Red barred the new guy from getting in.

“Oh! Hey loose! What’s, uh, what’s up?” Red asked, trying to act natural while sweating bullets as he leaned on the door frame.

“Um, nothing much...You okay? You seem...Really frazzled or something, you need to chill.” The Aussie asked, his freakishly long hair and grubby clothes making him look like a bum compared to his decent looking neighbour.

“I’m chill, plenty chill even! Y-You’re the one who needs to be more chill. Anyways, what’s wrong?” Red defended with excessive zeal, before realising how insane he sounded and tried to act normal.

“Well, I was going to check the mail and it turned out I got some of your junk, again, and then I noticed your front door was fuckin’ gone. Thought someone had busted into steal some...I don’t know what you’ve got that’s worth a lot, star trek uniforms? Either way, thought I should check on ya...You got a husky or something” He explained, looking into the house and noticing all the white hair on the floor, before handing him his mail.

“Oh, thanks! H-Heh, yeah I just got a husky! It’s uh...Shedding.” Red tried to bluff, confusing Loose.

“Really? Shedding in this time of year? A’ight then, if you say so. Yeah, sorry about the mail; I swear, that dumb cunt never learns.” Loose asked, suspicious of his lie, before going back to the normal banter.

“Hah, yeah I know what you mean! So, you gonna go home or?” Red none too subtly asked, hoping to shoo away the neighbour while he heard Priscilla shuffle in the background.

“Well, I can’t rightly leave ya like this with ya door all fucked, I could fix this up for ya; want me to bring over some tools or-”

“NO, no that’s fine Loose!” Red snapped, causing Priscilla to jump and knock over a lamp.

“What the hell was that-”

“Just the dog, heh, she’s a real big dog! Heh…” He clarified, hoping the scruffy prick would leave soon.

“...A’ight, you say so. Just, ah, keep an eye out for robbers or anything; some proper dickheads ‘round here.” His neighbour cautioned before strutting off, no doubt going to do something stupid or get high again. As he stepped off the property, he let out a massive sigh of relief and crashed back into his couch. “That was too damn close…”

“Did you call me a dog?” Priscillia asked, offended at his comments, causing Red to groan.

Still Alive

As the morning light brushed against Tux’s sleepy head, he was happy to see she hadn’t murdered him in his sleep or anything so that was sweet. As he wondered if he still had time to catch some sleep, he rolled over to check his alarm clock...Only to see he had ten minutes to get to class…

“Huh, I slept through my alarm...SHIT!” He said with a chillingly calm voice before exploding out of bed. In a frenzy, he threw on a shirt, some pants and shoes and had a once over in the mirror, content that he didn’t look like total ass. As he ran out into the living room to grab some toast to eat on the way like a total anime protagonist, he noticed something real weird. His flat didn’t look like a bomb had gone off in it. The floor was devoid of boxes, crap or dirty clothes, the dust piles had been cleaned, the kitchen was spotless and the carpets had been cleaned somehow. The room looked habitable and nice to look at, and the culprit for all of this sat comfortably on the couch, still watching that damn sitcom.

“Hmm, Ross seems like the only one who possesses any semblance of intelligence…” The Doll mused, unaware of Tux’s presence until he stumbled into the kitchen and popped some bread into the toaster. “Oh, good morning Hunter. I took the liberty of cleaning your domicile for you, since you had forsaken such duties.” She greeted with a small bow from her seat at the couch, before seemingly judging him still with that flat voice and expression.

“How the hell did you do all this? This was at least a full days work! Eh screw it, I’m too late to care...Come on, come on…” Tux asked, then retracted his interest, before pleading with the toaster.

“You seem distressed by something.” She stated the obvious with a concerned expression while he hopped from foot to foot.

“I overslept and now I’m gonna be sooooo fucking late...” He answered feveriously as he fretted over everything.

“If you’d like Good Hunter, I could-”

“No, no, no. No more weird, non Human crap! I just want to leg it and hope I make it, okay?” Tux asked, already having had enough of her shit for one morning. As she started to talk, the toast popped out with a bang and he grabbed them and popped one in his mouth.

“Ah! This is so much hotter than it should be, anime made it look cool!” He cried out in pain as he ran outside the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving her alone in the still messy house. As she looked up from the magical picture frame, she wondered how long it’d take her to work on it alone.

“Hm, yes I suppose I should enlist some aid…” She said to no one as she began calling out for the aid of some little helpers.

Tux was late, very late. Thus he stopped giving a shit halfway to his mad dash to college. He could afford to miss a morning class, but he still at least wanted to go to his last class of the morning before he sleeps once more. He wants as much sleep as he can get before he works this evening.

Not ten minutes ago he had arrived at the college campus, only after he walked the rest of the way which took him a good hour. Still he had like a half an before his next class begin, and after deciding that anime is a lie he went to the cafeteria. Thankfully college isn’t like high school where food is only served at certain time periods, no, in college food was served from 6am to 6pm. Any other hours, well, those poor college students have the cheap gas store noodles.

Tux was surprised when someone dropped their trap of food in front of him. “Sup Mormon Man.” He knew who that was before he bothered to look up. “How did work go last night?” The person said as the seat across from Tux was filled.

“Ugh, I told you where I work at,” Tux spoke as he rubbed his temples with his left hand. “you already know the answer.” The person across from him began digging into his breakfast, which was made up of just eggs and beans. A platter for people who work minimum wage.

“Well, not much I can say other than you can try working at-” Tux then cut off the man.

“No Iron, I’m not going to work retail at Walmart.” With that Tux drank from his cup of diluted coffee, trying to get as much caffeine as he can get into his system.

“C’mon Tux, it’ll be much more fun if we work together at the same place.” Iron said, trying to once more convince Tux to work together with him.

Yet Tux was having none of it this morning, he was too tired to go through this. “No, you know how I feel about dealing with customers.” Still he once again fell into routine.

Iron sighed not from disappointment as he had expected Tux’s answer. “Tux, not all customers are shitty, in fact most of them are alright.” Iron took a fork full of salted eggs into his mouth, and quickly ate them.

“It’s not that, I just don’t like dealing with people as I work. That’s why I prefer working evening and sometimes the night shift as a stocker.” Tux explained once more with the same answer he had given yesterday, and the many mornings before.

“Well, if you’re gonna continue working there you may as well stop complaining to us about you sore back, eh.” Thankfully every once in awhile the routine gets derailed, whether or not it’s a good that depends. Still it felt slightly better to get out of repeated conversations.

“Oh hey/morning Pat.” Both Tux and Iron greeted the filthy Quebecer.

“Hey losers, how goes the schooling, eh?” Pat then sat down next to Iron, she then dug into her steak and potatoes. Making both men hungry and sad.

“Pat, you know you’re not allowed in here.” Despite feeling a little more dead on the inside Tux was able to form words, and make them into sentences. He has yet to break.

“What are you talking about? Of course I am, I’m a person considering her enrolment into this college.” Pat says so casually that it caused Iron and Tux to feel a little uncomfortable, with her doing what Pat does.

“Pat it’s been two months since the college allowed people to enroll for this semester,” Tux felt the need to remind Pat, remind her of that she’s basically trespassing.

“Nah it’s fine, I pay for the food too, eh.” Pat shrugged her shoulders before stuffing her face with her food, quality food that she was able to pay for. She never shared her food, never bought them anything.

“Pat please, before you somehow drag us into trouble with you.” Tux was borderline pleading, he would’ve gone full on pleading if he wasn’t so tired, and slightly disturbed from the events prior.

“You’ll get charged if you get caught Pat.” The mexican said simply as his fork slowly made its way to Pat’s plate.

“Argh fine, see yah later fuckers, eh!” If there was one way to get Pat out of campus, then it was to remind her that she would lose money if she stayed any longer. Truthfully Tux didn’t really knew if was allowed on campus or not, but he didn’t want to deal with her for the moment.

“Shit.” Tux swore, realizing that the dirty mexican was eating a perfectly fine steak.”Mind you give me a few pieces?” The mormon asked as he pushed his plate towards the man opposite of him.

“Sure, not a huge fan of medium rare anyways.” Tux was barely able to stop himself from punching Iron in the face. He’s a poor college student, he wouldn’t be able to live after the assault charges. So Tux settled for a simple glare as Iron cut the remaining steak in half, and gave what was left to Tux.

“Thanks Iron, I was feeling quite down recently. I really needed this.” Tux thanked the man, he was still a gentleman afterall despite him thinking that anyone eating Steak not medium rare are the worst, and should be sent to a reeducation camp. They both dug into their steaks. What was this feeling? Was this joy? Thought the both of them as they ate real meat for the first time in a month. Tux was about to cry tears of happiness, if only someone didn’t ruin the sweet moment of pure bliss.

“Hey yer poor sods, how goes the second grade meat?” A chubby, homeless man spoke as he sat on the plastic chair, his annoying laugh echoing in Tux’s mind.

“It’s great, better than eating spam.” The alien spoke as he chewed onto his food, a little grossed out from the blood that was leaking from the meat.

“C’mon now, spam ain’t so bad. Just gotta fry it up a little, toss it in between two slices of toasted bread and it’s all good with a side of eggs.” The Aussie tried to reason, remembering how he use to be as poor as these two plebs. But ever since he started his apprenticeship he was making a decent living, still couldn’t afford a good roast beef tho.

“No Loose, no one likes spam.” Both Iron and Tux said at the same time, even a few others around them spoke with them.

“Except dem Canucks, those fucking weirdos.” Loose cried out, slamming his saw dust covered hands onto the table in rage, causing Tux’s drink to spill onto his steak.

“Meh, still precious calories.” Tux wasn’t phased by Loose’s fuck up, he still intended to eat his precious meat. No matter how ruined and poor quality it is.

“Well, atleast you get to literally eat coffee now.” Iron poked at Tux, letting out a chuckle as the mormon continued to chow down on what’s left of his meat. Iron then turned to Loose, feeling that dragging the steak along in conversation would get dry sooner or later. “So Loose, what’s up?”

“A’ight, didn’t die on the way here so that’s nice. Red was acting fuckin’ weird though.” He answered with a chuckle as he began eating a bacon and egg sammich before thinking back to Red.

“Oh yeah, what do ya mean?” Tux asked, in between bloody chomps on his subpar steak.

“Well, for starters his door is fucked. It wasn’t just off its hinges, the whole fuckin’ frame was busted like some had taken a battering ram to it; he also seemed coked out, talkin’ fast and weird and being real evasive...Red’s not a drug dealer yeah?” Loose asked, the frantic attitude reminding him of his late brother.

“Red, a drug dealer? Nah, he’s too straight edge to be so criminal.” Iron was finished with his food, placing more attention on the conversation than before. Tux was still enjoying his steak, what’s left of it. “You think he was on drugs tho?

“Maybe. I’ve seen nervous as hell druggies, they’re sweating, barely coherent, actin’ like they’re hiding something and honesty he fit the type.” Loose continued, remembering how odd he was acting.

“I don’t know what you two are going on about, but remember he’s too poor to buy drugs. So he’s probably not a drug addict or anything like that.” Tux finally decided to contribute to the conversation, saddened that his steak was all gone.

“So I guess he’d be too poor to buy a dog yeah? Because when I asked why his hallway was full of white fur he said he’d bought a big fuckin’ husky.” The Aussie added, chewing down on his greasy toast sammich.

“I’m not an animal expert, but don’t they shed once or twice a year?” Tux asked, leaning back into his seat.

“Exactly! I thought that was weird, it didn’t seem right for it to be shedding or whatever. Also, whatever it was was big enough to knock over a solid lamp and make some loud ass noises; sounded like a bloody bull in there.”

”I like dogs, let’s go visit Red later.” Iron said, remembering the days when he was a kid, when he used to play out in the streets mostly naked, running from the dogs - hungry dogs.

Tux, remembering what was waiting back at his own place, didn’t really feel up to confronting the issue at the moment. “I like to see how wrecked his place is.”

“It’s pretty fuckin’ wrecked, glass everywhere...Also, he know’s I’m a carpenter yeah? He didn’t want me fixing his door for him...Maybe his dog’s got him captured or some whacky shit.” Loose mused with a grin, thinking of all the times he got stuck in a hostage situation with animals back home.

“Or maybe his dog is not use to people, doesn’t want him to have an accident with the dog biting our faces off?” Iron knew his mexican dogs, they were always angry in varying degrees. The heat and shitty kids really got to them. “Maybe his dog was bullied by shit kids, and is just a very pissy dog because of it?”

“Yeah nah, my money’s on a hostage situation or some shit.” Loose insisted, hellbent on his idea.

“Well, if that’s the case then it’s our duty to make sure our friend is safe. From dangerous dogs… and from criminals.” The ethical, moral man of God has spoken, yet he was too tired to really care about some dog.

“Hey guys, how goes early lunch? Or was it late breakfast?” A tired, somewhat hungry looking part-time teacher and fellow student walked up to the three. It was obviously Red, due to the nerd clothes he was wearing. Tux looked over to him, and noticed that his clothes had specks of white hair on them.

“Pretty good, just tellin’ the guys ‘bought your fucked up door and dog...What’d you say its name was again?” Loose informed before asking, suspicious about how evil the dog is.

“Oh r-really?” Red stuttered for a moment before continuing. “Name?... uh, she hasn’t got a name, yeah.” The student then felt sick, thinking about the damages he has to pay. “Oh god, my door…”

“Ya know, I am a carpenter and with the friend discount all I need is like, pocket change or cocaine.” He continued, trying to ‘subtly’ figure out if Red was a drug addict, causing Iron to put his head in his hands and sigh.

“Pocket change? How much exactly?” Red may be worried about keeping the giantess’ existence a secret, but he was still poor god dammit! Still, he could probably hide her in his room, just gotta remove the door to avoid more damage. Surely his friend would respect his privacy and not enter his bedroom?

“Enough to buy some cheap shit or a decent meal I guess, it seems like a pretty simple repair...Though ya might need a new door or hinges if it’s completely fucked and I ain’t paying for that shit.” Loose estimated, then factored in the cost of replacing small parts.

“Yeah sure, just let me… clean up before you arrive. I’ll give you a call whenever I’m good to let you do your thing.” Red thanked whatever God was popular these days, that he was friends with someone who was useful unlike Tux and Iron. The both of them were useless, taking religious and history studies.

“That sounds like something someone who’s hiding something would say!” Iron accused, pointing at Red.

“Shut up Iron.” Tux said, trying to prevent the mexican from turning that into a drawn out conversation.

“N-no, it’s just a real mess at my place right now. Plus, you all know I’m too poor to get into anything fun, even drugs.” Red spoke once more, he then checked his watch. “Ah, well time to make a living. Got class in a few, I’ll call you later Loose.” With that Red walked away from the group at a steady pace.

“I’m telling you, he’s too calm to be wanting to go class. He’s high as fuck right now.” Iron said just as he stood up, he too needing to go do some work in the library.

Tux reached over the table, and picked up something off the smooth surface. “So what kind of dog did Red say he had?” He looked at fibre strand, which was quite lengthy.

“Husky, why?”

“I don’t know, but I seen huskies in my neighbourhood before. Never seen them with hair this long.” He then held the hair with two hands, pinching each end with a finger and thumb, then pulled it to show how long it was. Which was about a foot and half, roughly.

“Jesus fuck, that’s long…” Loose said as he noticed how long the damn thing was.

“So like, I’m sure there’s a dog breed with hair this long, probably.” Tux then tossed away the hair, not wanting to touch it any longer thinking it may be dirty. “Or like, he’s shacking up with a girl who dyed her hair white.”

“Red? And a woman?” Loose asked, stunned at the idea that there might be someone as into his Star Trek shit as much as him.

“Yes, hilarious. Welp, I’m off, see you some other time.” With that Tux left the area, he too leaving his tray and plate on the table, like how Pat and Iron had.

“...Okay then…” Loose said as everyone left him at the table alone. He began eating what was left on everyone’s trays like a hobo.

Sleepy Hallow

A man walked alone, on his way back home from work. His joints were sore from all the lifting he has done, he cursed himself for being an idiot. He should’ve done the proper lifting techniques, and if he had then he wouldn’t have spent half the night at work recovering from hard labour and worn joints.

He knew how to do the proper lifting techniques, it’s just that when he does it at work it felt too slow and inefficient. Doing things his way, a way that felt more natural that flowed smoother than the robotic movements he was taught. It just didn’t feel right to him, despite knowing that if he did do the proper, safer movements then he wouldn’t spend all day feeling sore and sick from working.

He would need to check on a doctor, see if he’s getting arthritis or maybe it’s just him being sore. He’s not too sure sometimes, as on occasion his fingers, shoulders, knees, neck and lower back would get stiff and uncomfortable. There would be a light flare, a warmth coming from the joints of his fingers. It wasn’t pleasant, as the warmth meant his fingers would become stiff as there joints would getty slightly puffy.

This whole ordeal made him feel pathetic, as there were older men and women who worked faster, harder and longer than he does, and yet they have no problems at all. It was all because they followed and performed the proper lifting techniques when moving boxes of products.

It annoyed him to no end, as his fellow co-workers who were ‘veterans’ of product stocking teased him whenever they were on break, as he usually did stretches to ease his aching body.

Still, it was better than working retail. He really didn’t want to work while there were customers freely moving around the store. He would be of no help to the customers if they asked him a question of a location of specific item. He was a stocker, all he did was placed the product in it’s proper spot on the shelves. He didn’t bother to remember where things went, he usually let his muscle memory do the work as he tried to not fall asleep throughout his six hour shift.

He made a turn into a nicely lit road, small evergreen trees lined the sidewalks neatly. Their christmas lights were placed within their branches, and they were lit, He would’ve felt some amount of holiday joy yet it wasn’t the season of Christmas. It wasn’t even December, nor November. It was mid October, the second best month of all the year. One of his and some of his friends’ favourite time of the year, for him it’s because once Halloween was over the store he worked at had a Halloween dinner party, with food provided by the company which was made from a nearby Hotel that run their own restaurant. Those guys really made some great food, although their sandwiches could use some work - not enough salt.

He sighed to himself, feeling the cold air enter him as he breathed back in. He wasn’t much of a winter type of person, but he did enjoy the mild chill before winter arrived for real. Snow has fallen early this year, which was quite odd. He can never recall snow falling till mid November, then once it came it came heavy. Covering the city in three to five deep snow overnight, making a nightmare for everyone who has to go to work. Although the kids and teens would be able to appreciate it, as they would get a snow day till the shovelled all the roads and sidewalks for the kids, and school buses,

He enjoyed his walk, it was peaceful and the chilled air and soft crunch of snow took his mind off his sore body.

It was relaxing.

It didn’t take long for him to make it to his road, where he lived at. He could spot the apartment complex, the aged concrete building was old, some say it was half as old as this city, which is pretty old considering this city was established 100 or so years ago.

He absentmindedly crossed the street as there were no traffic in this time of day, and made his way towards the five storied apartment complex.

Then he saw something, laying on the ground next to some bushes.

He wouldn’t have been able to spot it if it wasn’t for the christmas lights illuminating the area.

He knew it wasn’t just something, it has a form much like a person.

He swiftly, but cautiously walked over to the laying form. He allowed his runners to crunch as loud as they could in the snow covered sidewalk, hoping that whoever laid on the cold ground could hear him, and would react to the approaching individual. He didn’t mean to think of it, it just came across his mind, but a passed out drunkard came to his mind as he made his audible approach. It wasn’t kind to sneak up on anyone, especially if it could be someone who had too much to drink tonight. Didn’t want to spook the person, could make things quite messy.

As he made his way to the person who was getting covered in snow, he could make out the boots and clothing the person wore. They were of feminine design.

He was worried, the woman didn’t make a move when he walked up to her. Even a drunkard would’ve stirred on his noisy approach, yet she hadn’t. She might be passed out, cold temperature and alcohol wasn’t a healthy mix. It was pointless to call out the woman, she was unconsciousness. He quickened his pace, making his way to the woman in but a few moments.

As he approached he noticed a few weird things about her. She was dressed in fine, brown and black dress with a matching hat, red scarf and some other, antiquated victorian era style clothes. Her skin was almost pure white, like she frozen or something and her body seemed weirdly positioned like a doll with the limbs all over the place. He was worried he’d just found a dead cosplayer or something but noticed the odd woman was breathing as he approached. Kneeling into the snow and dead leaves of the ground, he tried to wake up the stranger.

“Um...Hey, you okay? Can ya hear me?” He asked, shaking the woman softly and trying to rouse her from her sleep. He began to worry she was dead or something until he noticed she was moving.

“Oh, welcome Good Hunter, I don’t believe we’ve met...Is...Is this a part of the Dream?” The pale woman greeted with a seemingly rehearsed line before looking around in what seemed like vague disinterest.

“Huh? I’m not a hunter, and uh, I just woke you up so you’re not dreaming anymore.” The confused man replied, baffled at her weird speech and expression. In response, the woman slowly stood upright, dusted herself off and daintily curtsied with the same blank expression.

“If you’re not a Hunter, then how are you in the Hunter’s Dream?” The peculiar woman questioned, a small hint of confusion breaking through her unfeeling visage.

“I have no idea what you’re on about...You drunk or something? Want me to call a cab?” The tired, confused and weirded out guy asked as he looked around for someone who might’ve known her.

“No, I’m not inebriated. I simply need to find somewhere to think, if this isn’t the Dream, and this does not look like Yarnham, then I have much to reflect upon…” She simply said, her voice wavering between composed calmness and uncertain fear. “May I accompany you? I assume this building here is your domicile?” She guessed, looking at the exhausted and sore man who in response merely shrugged.

“As long as you don’t murder me, sure why not. Name’s Tux by the way.” Tux said, the fear of death long since passed, as he began walking towards the doors to the old apartment complex.

“Greetings, Hunter Tux, I’m simply called ‘The Doll’.” She introduced as she slowly followed Tux to the doors, her odd way of talking and titles once more unnerving and annoying him. He began to argue that he wasn’t a Hunter but felt too tired to care. Stepping into the spacious, stained ground floor of his apartment he shuffled over to the elevator and waited silently for it to arrive. After a brief ascension, causing The Doll to marvel at the simple, grimy box, before walking out into a small hallway and walking up to his door with the peculiar woman in tow.

“And we’re in. make yourself at home.” Tux insisted as he finally unlocked and pushed open the jammed door to the small apartment. The living room was cluttered with knick knacks and assorted rubbish littering the room, the tiny kitchen was serviceable but cramped and the hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathroom was mostly barren.

“Hey watch out for the-” He began warning her of the step down from the doorway, but it was too late as the weird woman stumbled and crashed into him. The two collapsed to the floor, her silent and him crying out in alarm.

“Ow...Ow that sucked...Hey, you dropped your…” The sore and now bruised homeowner wailed as he rubbed his back before noticing the object in front of him; as he picked it up he almost had a heart attack when he realised it was her leg. It was alabaster and decorated with a simple stocking and old shoe but looked so real from a distance that up close it was downright jarring noticing the minute cracks in the facade, some of which were literal cracks as the solid, smooth porcelain had been damaged over time. As he looked back at her, he screamed out in shock and fear when he saw her reattach her right arm, pop in one of her white eyes and, once noticing him clutching her leg and screaming, moved to retrieve it and calm him.

“Please, don’t be afraid, I mean you no harm. I understand it must be frightening seeing something like this but don’t worry, I don’t feel pain.” She tried to ease him with a soft, almost motherly smile though failed while reattaching her leg and testing the joints. As she stood up, she reached down and offered Tux a hand.

“W-What the hell are you?!” Tux yelled out, horrified at what he had assumed was a Human rebuilding herself.

“As I said earlier, Good Hunter, I’m referred to as The Doll by others and it fits. As you can clearly see, I’m an animated doll made of porcelain. I’m sorry I didn’t inform you sooner, had I known such a revelation would have alarmed you I would’ve told you sooner.” The Doll answered as she continued to offer a hand, moving so slightly it was almost like she were a statue. Timidly, he accepted her hand and got back onto his shaky feet.

“Can you, you know, feel and think and all that stuff?” He questioned rather insensitively, unsure if this was some kind of super A.I dressed as a victorian era woman or something.

“Of course. I was built with the intend to aid and look after Hunters, such as yourself, as they battled the beasts of Yarnham...Though now that I seemed to be severed from the Hunter’s Dream I must wonder what I shall do now…” The Doll pondered with a thoughtful expression.

“You know, I’m not a Hun-”

“Good Hunter, I know it is rude of me to impose but would you allow me to reside here and in exchange I can help you strengthen your powers through the blood of the beasts you slay?” The Doll requested, expression blank but tone somewhat more desperate sounding and pleading than usual.

“I guess not…” Tux sighed, figuring it was impossible to convince her he wasn’t a hunter, causing her to grin.

“Thank you Kind Hunter…” She said with a respectful bow as she began looking around her new home.

“This must truly be an ancient and forgotten site to be in such disarray.” The Doll assessed, examining the piles of discarded boxes, layers of dust, stacks of old memorabilia and the damaged furniture and grey walls.

“No, I’ve only recently rented it…” Tux responded, stepping over something that could’ve been a moldy sandwich, disheartened and slightly embarrassed by the shit show he called a home.

“How terrible, this simply won’t do.” The Doll stated with a flat tone as she began moving the piles of boxes into the corner.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind the mess...So, do you eat anything?” He asked, unsure if she even had organs, as he moved over to his tiny, dirty kitchen and put a frozen bowl of spaghetti in the microwave and waited for his dinner.

“No, I simply need the Insight of Hunters and the blood of monsters to perform my duties.” She answered with a small smile, freaking out Tux as he had no idea what she meant by ‘the blood of monsters’ and he was pretty sure he didn’t have any insight either.

“Well, uh, I’ll try and figure out where the hell I can buy either of that.” He said, unsure what to say. As he waited for his re cooked food in silent he watched the strange, animated doll walk around surveying the house with a dissatisfied look. The night passed with an annoying, somewhat creepy routine of her asking him questions he either couldn’t answer, like what the hell Yarnham is, her asking about the monsters he hunts, him asking her about how she’s even alive and so on and so forth will he stomached subpar food and watched reruns of some crappy sitcom.

“You know, as much as I love playing Twenty Questions with you while watching Joey fuck up I’m getting tired, got college in the morning and I can’t be late. You can have the couch if you want, blankets in the closet over there and I’ll be down the hallway if you need me. Night.” Tux informed with a yawn, pointing out the various places and turned off the TV. As he walked out of the dimly lit living room only to crash onto his bed, he tried to fall asleep; he almost did, until he felt someone standing behind him. Turning around from his groove in the bed, he saw The Doll standing over him.

“What?” He asked, agitated and tired.

“Good Hunter, I don’t require sleep; would you rather have me do something instead?” She inquired, getting a groan out of her new roommate.

“I don’t fucking know, do whatever you want…” He cursed, tired of her weird shit.

“Very well, good night Good Hunter.” She parted, a soft smile on her visage as she calmly walked out of the messy bedroom into the equally messy hallway.

“Fucking weirdo…” He muttered, already regretting letting her into his home.

Monster Babbies

“Today sucked...I just want some food…” Tux said to himself as he exited the elevator and stepped off onto his floor and opened his door...Only to be greeted by a bunch of grey, gross tiny monsters that moaned at him.

“What...The...Fuck…” Tux stammered as he stepped over the pigmy, gross monsters into his flat that was swarming with them. They merely grasp at him or wailed but they were so creepy.

“Ah, Good Hunter welcome home.” The Doll greeted as she tended to the freakish monsters who seemed to surround her.

“What the hell are these things?!” Tux asked, trying not to step on the demon things.

“They’re the Messengers, your loyal companions.