Bright, sterile lights. Seemingly endless white hallways. Strange noises everywhere I looked. Mysterious people in strange clothes running back and forth, all in a frantic hurry. Every single part of this was a whole new world to me, and I didn't like any of it in the slightest. I still didn't understand where I was. All I knew was that this didn't seem to be a very happy place. Worst of all, somewhere lost amongst the countless identical rooms and rushing packs of strangers was my sister. And as far as I could remember, we weren't usually separated like this, if at all.
I squirmed uncomfortably in the hard plastic seat and looked up at my mom.
"...Where's Maud?"
All I received in reply was a gentle hush and a soft pat on the back. Despite my parent's attempts to be comforting, it didn't help in the slightest. I was only seven, but I could tell the difference between genuine and phony assurance, and my mom's body language made it all too clear that something was wrong. What that was though, I had no idea. I whimpered as I hugged my stuffed animal closer. All I knew for sure was that Maud had started off the day fine but then she started to look sick. She would tell us that she was OK but I knew something was wrong. Throughout the day it only got worse and worse, until before I knew it, we had all piled into the car and had speed off. She had muffled her cries ceaselessly in pain all the way, no matter how many silly faces I had made to try to cheer her up, nothing would make the pain go away.
When we arrived, she was rapidly whisked away, and since then I hadn't seen any sign of her. As my anxiety grew with every passing minute, I whined softly and squeezed my toy even harder in a desperate attempt to get at least a shred of comfort from somewhere. Whatever was going on, I hoped that she was okay. Suddenly, my father reappeared, and I perked up excitedly for a moment. When I saw that he was returning alone, a crushing wave of disappointment washed over me. Even worse, he looked visibly distraught as he approached my mom and they started to speak in whispered tones.
"Where's Maud?" I asked, hoping for a reply.
They continued talking worriedly to one another, almost as if I wasn't even there. My dad patted my mom's shoulder as she wiped at her eyes, and the entire scene only made me even more worried. Anxiety soon began to turn into fear. Why wouldn't they say anything to me?
"Is…is she gonna be okay?" I squeaked shrilly.
Still, I received no answer to my repeated question. My dad distractedly reached over to ruffle my soft pink locks, but that was it. It wasn't all that long until it all proved to be too much to bear, especially for me as hopelessly, confusion and frightened started to take over. There was so much that I wanted to know, and I wanted to know now.
"Where's Maud?!" I yelled, demanding an answer.
I slapped my little hand against my chair and yelled impatiently. Finally I grabbed their attention. After they exchanged nervous glances, my mom took a deep breath before she spoke for the what felt like the very first time in an agonizing eternity.
"Sweetie, shhh...you need to be a little more quiet."
She stroked my head.
"Maud!" I repeated persistently. "Where is she?"
She bit her lip as she tried to say something...
"Maud is…she's still not feeling very good, and we...we can't go until they make her better. So we'll just wait here while they take care of them. Okay, honey? It'll be fine."
As she spoke softly, her rapidly welling eyes seemed to tell a frighteningly different story. Fast catching on to the gravity of the situation, I sniffled miserably.
"I...want..."
I had managed to whine before I broke down. A high-pitched wail escaped me as the hot tears started to pour out. Struggling to keep myself together, my mom
dragged me into her lap
"Shhh! Shhhhh!" She continued to shush as started I continued to cry and beg to see her. "It's okay...it's okay honey...it's going to be all right...Maud just has a...a..."
She looked worriedly to my dad, who tried to plaster on a sad excuse of a smile as he finished for her. "A really bad tummy ache. She has a bad tummy ache, so the doctors need to help her right now, okay?"
Those hasty but reassurance words failed to make me feel better. Tears continued to gush down the sides of my face as I cried.
"Where is she? W-where's my sister?"
"Pinkie honey, we just told you."
She struggled to sound calm, but her voice cracked uncontrollably, confirming my fast-growing fears. Something horrible had happened, and I didn't even know where she was. This was wrong. It was all so wrong.
"What's wrong? Whats wrong with her?!" I nearly shrieked.
My mom frantically tried to calm me down.
"It's a tummy ache, sweetie." My dad repeated firmly. "Maud has a -"
I didn't want to hear any more of this. In a fit of frustration, I flung my toy and hit him square in the
chest.
"I WANT MAUD!"
"PINKIE!" My mom yelled as I flung myself free with a mighty burst of effort.
The instant my tiny feet hit the tile floor, I was off like a shot, and desperately dashing down the hallway.
"Maud! Maud!"
I screamed into the nearest room, only to find a startled person making up a bed. I continued, half-blinded with tears as I frantically searched for my sister. There was so much I didn't understand. I didn't know where I was, where Maud was, or anything about what was happened. All I was sure of was that I wanted my sister back, and to leave this terrible place.
Maud? Where are you? Maud!"
I bawled at the top of my lungs as I stumbled about. Unfortunately, before I was able to go any further, a nurse swept in and scooped me up off the ground.
"I'm sorry!" My dad gasped breathlessly as he caught up. "I'm sorry, she's just a little upset. Pinkie, come here-"
Already half mad with panic by this point, I kicked and struggled like a puppet in another desperate attempt to break loose as I shrill screams filled the entire hallway. "No! Where's my sister!? Where's Maud? Where is she!? Where's Maud?! MAUD!"
***
By that time, I had woken up with a start, my heart beat madly in my chest, and felt just about ready to burst out. There I was: surrounded by complete and utter darkness, and at first I honestly couldn't tell where I was. For a few horrifying moments, the room stepped out of its blackened state as my vision adjusted at what felt like a painful pull to my heart. Panic continued to hold me tightly in its icy grip for a few more terrifying seconds as I tried to get a hold on myself.
Even after recognizing the drafty bedroom, I was still shaking and still needed a few moments to convince myself the nightmare was over. As my chest heaved up and down, I touched my face, and to my dismay, I felt wet cheeks. If I had indeed been crying in my sleep, then with any luck it hadn't been loud enough to-
"...Pinkie?"
The sleepy groan rang out from the other side of the room and swiftly dashed my hopes. Not again... As comforting as it was to hear her voice, I also instantly fell neck-deep in a flood of embarrassment. It was honestly hard to tell what was worse; a dream of a past trauma, or waking up to realize that you could still bawl like the helpless seven-year-old I once were. Hastily, I rolled over in bed to hide my tearstained face.
"Hey…you okay?" She whispered.
She propped herself up on one elbow as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. I nibbled on my lip as I struggled for an excuse. Failing to come up with anything decent, I halfheartedly said,
"I'm...I'm okay, I just had...just had a weird dream with...uh...see, there was a cake monster and...scary stuff. Uh...yeah that's it."
Lying has never been one of my strengths, and this time was no exception. I knew she didn't even need to listen to my actual words to know I was lying. My husky stutter was all she needed to see through the weak lie as if it were a piece of thin paper.
"That dream again, right?" she asked bluntly.
I curled into a ball and whined miserably. It was at this moment I wished that I was still back in the middle of my nightmare. At least then I wouldn't have to deal with any of the humiliating fallout.
"...Pinkie?" she asked softly.
I wiped my nose and sat up in bed.
"Sorry." I whimpered apologetically. "I-I'm sorry...It…it just felt weird and real, with mom and dad not saying anything, and I...I-I couldn't find...and I thought that..."
I had barely begun to speak about it before the awful memories rose to the forefront of my mind, and despite my best efforts, I soon felt fresh tears welling up in my eyes once again. With just one bad dream, I fell into many little pieces, and it was frustrating to say the least. It almost made me feel like that helpless little child years ago. Hurriedly, I choked back a sob, flopped onto my bed, grabbed my sheets and threw them up over my head.
"I-I'm not here." I whined, hoping fervently that she would just drop it. "I'm in the kitchen baking a cake."
A moment later, I heard the soft pat of bare feet on the floor, and felt a gentle shake. I whined softly and tried to burrow deeper under my improvised cocoon, but she was able to get though it. With a soft sigh, she delicately nudged me again.
"C'mon..." she said softly around a hefty yawn. "Can I at least show you something?"
I was reluctant at first but bit by bit, I slowly lowered the bed sheets, and was immediately met with an odd sight. As she stood by my bed, she lifted her collar and for a few seconds, I just stared confusedly at the scrawny, partly exposed part of her neck until I realized she was pointing at a faint scar.
"I know things looked bad, but..." she put on a weary smile. "Here's the twist, they fixed me in time."
I couldn't help but crack a feeble grin, which was rapidly followed up by a weak giggle. Sitting up in bed, I wiped away at my relentlessly watering eyes with another loud sniff.
"I-I know...I know, it's just...it's stupid, that's what it is...sorry I still act like...l-like such a baby about it..."
I knew she wasn't awake enough to have a long heart-to-heart conversation. However, she was coherent enough to talk and realize what's going on. With yet another gaping yawn, she leaned in and asked as straightforward as she could speak,
"Do you think I wouldn't have lost my mind if I was in your place? You don't need to blame yourself."
One moment was all that was needed for it to sink in. With what sounded like a cross between a sob and a small but noticeable squeak, I reached out and hurled my arms around her in a tight hug. As my mood took a quick upswing, I tightened the squeeze.
"It's OK." She chuckled as she briefly returned the embrace. "I will always be here for you, sis. So, please: don't cry
"G-glad to have you here." I murmured thankfully.
I felt even luckier for more reasons than I could count at the moment.
"And I'm glad your back to your cheerful self. Right?" she asked, still holding me.
I fidgety pause as she said that. She sighed and smiled.
"If it will make you feel better, I'll sleep next to you for the rest of tonight. OK?"
I eagerly moved over as she says that, and she had barely sat down on the bed when I dropped my pillow and head square upon her lap, and not so delicately, either. After a few moments, I had settled down. Already feeling much better than just a minute prior, I shamelessly cuddled close to her, and let out a happy giggle as she began to pat my shoulder and murmur drowsily. Her words were like a lullaby, helping me drift back into what was guaranteed to be a much more peaceful slumber.
"It's okay...I'm here..." She repeated softly, again and again. "I'm right here, Pinkie...and I promise to never leave your side..."
Author's Note
For many, sisterhood means having a friend who will be there for life, and who was there in its beginning. Siblings can share childhood memories with you that nobody else can connect to in quite that special way. One might drive the other one crazy, but they are always there for you when you need them.
