S.O.B.
Ponyville was normally a quiet hamlet when it wasn't the epicenter of ghastly monster attacks, nightmares and shape shifting bugs.
And why would today be any different? The sun was warm and inviting, the spring breeze had the fragrance of flowers great and small.
Another birthday passed with our little dragon, another year another threat and again another hero. The Lord of Chaos was the pick
of the draw this year saving the Saviors of Equestria from another attack or royal kidnapping by the Changeling Queen...
______________________________Sporkle___________________________________
Twilight Sparkle was a mess blowing phlegm balls and snot bubbles, having one too many visits to the Chrystal Empire.
Flurry Heart was a sight to see but like all new foals the sniffles and feather flu was in full swing as the Princess of O.C.D. came to visit.
Spike had one job today and only one. Get the vaporizer and medicines from Fluttershys home and return to the Princess therefor
saving the kingdom of Ponyville from being overrun by rolling phlegm balls and before the castle hallways would run with mucus.
Spike strolled through the town square humming a little ditty the breeze moving the smells of what the locals had to offer fruit, coffee
breads of all verities, veggies of all shades, flowers of all kinds, moldy sofas, quills and sweets.
"Spike?" a hurried voice called out as he turned to wave a greeting to the caller in return.
"I thought that was you" Cheerilee invaded his space causing a small gasp to greet the teacher "I didn't mean to startle you".
"That's all right Miss Cheerilee you just surprised me that's all" he stepped back a little bit.
"Nice weather we're having isn't it?" she crept closer.
"Yeah, real nice Miss Cheerilee" he saw her creep in a little more. Any closer she'd be behind him.
"You don't need to call me Miss, Why does everypony call me Miss I'm not that old!"
"Oh you don't look any older than Rarity and they don't call her Miss." was she stepping on his toes now?
"Thank you Spike - Spike I...I" her eyes had a look of hunger "Spike I ah".
"What is it Cheerilee are you all right, Do you need anything?" Spike was nervously touching the tips of his claws together looking at
the normally cool as a cucumber teacher, the giver of sparkly stars for those special students who still didn't learn anything.
She was looking so out of it. Yeah creepy stuff!
"Yes Spike I need your help" she looked around seeing that the coast was clear "Spike I need you to take me and pound m..."
Big Mac squeezed between the bewildered dragon and crazy mare "ERASERS! Eeyep! She needs help pounding the chalk board erasers!.
Spike let out his breath "Yes! pounding Cheerilee er pounding Erasers!"
"Eeyep erasers" Big Mac blushed "School stuff ya know Eeyep! come along Miss Cheerilee we have some school stuff to do".
Big Mac ushered Miss Erasers mare away from the worried dragon her giggles filled the air as her tail flagged the Stallion over and over.
Spike was at a loss for words was she serious about the pounding? He looked at his shaking claws "What got into her?"
He resumed his quest scampering off to his destination as he passed Lira & Bon bon. The two who usually sat pony watching had become
the main attraction in a lovefest befitting of a motel room. and the flower venders swooned screaming Spikes name. Their twitching legs
the only sign of life from the three. Spike never saw the aftermath of his travels as his sights where set on getting that vaporizer for
without its magical properties the Princess and kingdom would fall to the evil doings of mucus and phlegm balls.
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Fluttershys home was a safe haven for all animals both big and tiny and like a zoo it had a place for every creature.
Spikes eyes watered as the stench reached gaging levels of nasty. Never in his earlier visits had it ever been so foul, awful, nasty.
"I'm sorry Spike but Angel Bunny and his friends organized a labor union and I'm not allowed to touch any of the waste cans
or garbage bags" she shrugged "he said it had to do with contracts with the local performers unions, solidarity was it?"
"I'm sorry?" her green eyes went blank for a second as her brain shifted gears from Angel Bunny to Spike the dragon.
She blew her nose and continued "So what did you need, If you don't mind my asking again?"
"The vaporizer and medicine that you barrowed a while back, Twilights got a nasty flu..." he eyed the caretaker "You okay?"
Her eyes sparkled when she put the machine in his back pack tugging on the straps she whispered in his ear
"Spike I really like your spines if that's okay with you".
She nuzzled his scalp and Spikes eyes popped! Opening wide, very wide - twice! Can your eyes do that...pop twice?
"Fluttershy?" was all he could ask frozen like a duck in a hunters sights during rabbit season. duck season rabbit season duck...
She peaked from behind her pink mane looking very very cute "Spike I want you if that's what you want, If that's alright?"
"You? Want me? what? are you sure?" Spike stepped back as she wrapped her tail around him like a pink blanket.
"I want little baby bunnies" she cooed "lot's and lots of cute little tiny baby bunnies!"
Spike was helplessly tangled and captured by a not so shy Fluttershy her hooves cradled him like a fuzzy vice with an iron grip.
"Angel, Rarity anypony?" Spikes muffled call for rescue went unanswered.
"Rarity?" Fluttershy paused for just a moment.
"Yes Rarity what will she think... Fluttershy?" Spike peeped a last hopeful gasp before his vision faded to pink.
"Oh Rarity!" she gasped "she's the Element of Generosity! she wont mind, I'll comp her an extra spa day".
Spike groaned as Fluttershy continued to wrap Spike in her mane and tail like a hungry love spider ready to feed.
"My my my, if it isn't Spike thee great honorable brave glorious making the moves on my marefriend Fluttershy".
Enter the draconequus and he was peeved, quite peeved indeed his yellow jogging sweats with black piping was a threat all by themselves.
Time froze - Spikes heart froze, Angel Bunny was laughing his tail off pointing at the stupid dragon wrapped in a Fluttershy burrito
about to die a grizzly death in the sock dimension when the draconequus sniffed and sniffed again. An evil grin grew on his muzzle as
a flash popped Spike out of the house. Discord dressed as father knows best his clawed arm resting on Spikes shoulder
"Spike my boy this is your lucky day for today you became the dragon you are" Discord cackled "now if you'll excuse me I have a
Fluttershy to unscrew... Thanks to you! If you know what I mean".
He raised his paw for a snap of magic.
"Hey where's the medicine?" Spike asked looking up to the mismatched lizard-horse in the tweed coat smoking a pipe of
stinky Sir Walter Raleigh. Sucking a long drag and blew out a giant ring of smoke with a feathered fedora resting between his horns.
"You should be thanking me from keeping you from being attacked by a wild Fluttershy, Why what would your marefriend Rarity
or Twilight think of your attempted romp in the hay?" Discord gave Spike the yellow evil eye. Literally he gave him the one of his eyes.
"I didn't do anything it's just weird stuff and Rarity's just friends and whatever". Spike blushed as he fumbled with 'friends and whatever'.
Discord popped his eye with a pin like a balloon his face returning back to normal if there ever was a normal.
"Your medicine is over at your marefriends house I think she used it on her cat Opal? or was it her sister Sweetie Belle or was
that Opal her sister or Sweetie the cat, You know me and ponies you've seen one marsh mellow you've seen them all,
Anyway if you want the medicine I suggest you see her. In the flesh. Taaaaaa-Taaaaaa, I have a wild Flutters to tame".
The stinky ring of Sir Walter Raleigh smoke remained as Discord vanished with a snap of his paw.
___________________poof_________________
Spike ran away from the zoo as time was running close to afternoon, Get the medicine - Raritys boutique -Go home, easy peasy.
He jogged along at a brisk pace sweat dripping as he made his way to the boutique, knocking on the door he wiped his brow.
"Come in Spikey it's open" she called with her wilting sing song titter.
Spike entered the shop Rarity was busy at her favorite sewing machine working at full speed all in the zone, fabric zooming in every
direction as her imagination was turning into dry goods of fashion, for Spike this was a wonderment of Rarity, his unsung treasure.
"Rarity I came to fetch the flu medicine that Fluttershy barrowed. Do you know where it is?"
"Up stares in the main bathroom second shelf right side in the mirrored medicine cabinet next to my daily vitamin supplements".
She didn't even break stride or change her rhythm. Just a flick of her hoof gave the dragon the go ahead to enter her inner sanctum.
"Thanks a bunch" was all he said quickly climbing the stares to gather what was needed for Twilights comfort.
The medicine was right where she said it was. Easy peasy like a Breezy. Spike closed the cabinet smiling at his reflection.
"Way to go Spike" his smile faded as he noticed the lack of her sewing machine noise down below "Ah Rarity are you taking a break?"
Spike took each step slowly carefully down the stares his claw gripping the hand rail with every movement.
He saw that the work area was vacant. He planed to tip toe for the exit and quietly make his escape just a few steps more to go
when a blue haze covered his vision his clawed toes lost contact with the floor as his body floated into the darkened room.
He closed his eyes waiting for the floors impact that never came.
______________________________Moomph!__________________________
[b"]Moomph!" If that was a noise he didn't have a chance to think as soft hooves caressed his scales his face buried in soft fragrant fur.
He could hear her heart beat racing and the temperature rising. His claws holding on something not quite fur and not quite fabric.
Spike looked up and opened his eyes, He wished he had kept them shut his dream mare had become a nightmare and not the
ones bad dreams where made of but naughty ones! That not so much fabric was two sets of fish net stockings and matching garters!
Her garments screamed street trotter and no sun dress ever designed could erase the sight that brought Spike to his scaly knees.
"Precious scales I want you to lay your claws on me" her eyes half lidded and full of fire "ravish me my dragon stud".
Rarity was seated on her red felt and cherry wood chase lounge holding Spike like a body pillow. He was trembling as bad as she was.
"I want you" Spike whispered "from the first day till now I've wanted you my pony in white".
"Oh Spikey " Rarity trembled, shuttering with every word he softly spoke, her breathing hitched and shallow.
"You're talented caring and worth a life time of getting to know. Rarity? Spike asked "why are you dressed like this?"
"I wanted to surprise you dear" she looked at her lover to be "I have wanted this for a very long time".
Spike moved up to kiss her his claws careful not to catch on her outfit or costume letting his back pack slip off.
He moved onward and upward his reward for being a gentledragon was close at hoof.
Their eyes met and she leaned in her lips pursed and ready. Spike closed his eyes and leaned in for the killer kiss only to get stabbed
in the eye with her horn for somewhere in the romantic moment Rarity swooned and fainted with gravity playing a cruel joke.
"Oh Celestias bucking flank" Spike held his one eye dancing around the room bobbing and weaving to the painful beat that
even Twilight 'twinkle toes' Sparkle couldn't even dance to. His vision clearing and his position in space figured out he gazed
at the sight, Rarity was sprawled out like a load of laundry on the lounge her legs open her private treasures on public display.
Spike licked his lips and reached down touching her leg and carefully lifting he moved her to a more comfortable position.
Sweetie Belle opened the door to see Spike laying a blanket over Rarity her head resting on a velvet pillow.
"Hi Spike , Did Rarity overwork herself again?" she trotted into the room "dang Spike you really smell funny. do you even bathe, like ever?"
"Tell her I'll be at Twis castle when she wakes up, it's been sort of a weird day" Spike paused "Sweetie you okay?"
"Other than you stinking like Opal with a dead fish and my big sis on the couch, normal? yeah" Sweetie paused "You okay there Spike?"
"Yeah never better, see ya " Spike grabbed his stuff and headed out the door to the castle of phlegm balls and ribbons of snot.
_____________________Zort Zort________________________
Rarity awoke with a start her mane brushed and a nice blanket keeping her comfortable the flood of the mornings memories
crowding out her dreams of strange looking foals and the odd newer feeling of the garters with fish net stockings.
"Oh dear what have I done? What did we do!?!" Rarity wrapped the blanket around her flanks and raced up the stares.
"Now that you're up Spike's over at Twilights, I think he's waiting for you" Sweetie called through her bedroom door.
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Rarity trotted through the streets with a dreadful pace her shameless display and such unladylike manors of throwing herself at her
Spikey Wikey and his gentle way of keeping her dignity guarded. Why am I such a tease? He deserves better, why why why me?
Rarity heard the sounds of magical blasts and rioting up ahead in the direction of Twilights castle, as she came closer she saw a
bubble in the castles only path at its base a slew of earth ponies and unicorns were bucking and blasting at its surface.
A flock of Pegasus nestled on its top waiting to get at its contents once its yoke spilled out.
Inside sat a grumbling Spike sitting with his elbows on his knees his claws supporting his head his brows brooding like
Coltan the Barbarian when questioned 'What is best in life?' or for Spikey Wikey, where did this stupid bubble come from?
Twilight was trying to protect her assistant but every time she fired her magic the resulting sparks fizzled from her horn drooling over
her mane and muzzle dropping to the ground sizzling like spit on a hot skillet. Discord sat in the air on a reclining beach chair
eating popcorn with his shades enjoying the show of ponies at their best. Thrusting, grinding and dry humping for all to see.
A peeved Rarity galloped up to the wild bunch surrounding the dragon magic ball her magic pulling twine and ribbons from out of
nowhere to tie up hooves and muzzles of most the crowd her efforts bringing cries of frustration from the would be partners of her
now trapped little Spikey Wikey.
The crazed mares wrestled with their bindings as a tired Rarity laid next to the bubble she closed her eyes and waited.
_________________________O,o_______________________
The smell of coffee was overpowering Rarity awoke in the map room with a surgical mask over her muzzle
as she reached up to remove it a clawed hand stopped her hoof she could see Spike softly smiling at her shaking his head a polite 'no'.
"What happened?" she raised to her hooves to see all the element bearers but Twilight with the same masks smelling like a roasting house.
Twilight bubbled out "Bisbord bound fout bat Sbite biz bim bragon bheet... Bi seb Bisbord bound fout bat Sbite biz bim bragon bheet".
"She said 'Discord found out that Spike is in dragon heat" Fluttershy spoke "It's an airborne love poison".
Rarity just looked at the flowing mucus and realized Twilight was in no condition to continue. and Fluttershys report was questionable
so she looked at the others in the room.
Apple Jacks eyes had a look of mirth "Never known Big Mac to show up late at the stall Cheerilee done got him all tuckered out".
Pinkie brooded. A sniffle coming from the pink mare "I missed Spikes giant party bubble I heard all the mares had a great time".
Fluttershy continued to sit thinking of Discord and blushed. Thinking about cute little baby bunnies, lots and lots of baby bunnies.
Twilight just pointed at Discord motioning her hooves for him to speak up for the big apology.
"Well my little ponies didn't we have fun today!
Pinkie blew a raspberry "I didn't have any fun, I missed everything!"
Rarity glared at the draconequus waiting for his alibi in all this.
"When I ran into our dragon friend over at Fluttershys I noticed a smell I haven't had the displeasure of finding for almost
three hundred years, a rank odor, a stink of all get out, the bane of dragon kind. A ripe smell of 'Ladies I'm ready!'
Ladies and ponies of the court, Spike has become the dragon he is for today was his first day of dragon heat. His 'pon fire'"
and I couldn't resist the opportunity for a little fun after all it has been three hundred years. I'm sorry Spike made it so easy.
"Bats bo balogy!" Twilight blubbered.
The mares around the map giggled at the lecture giving Rarity a look of 'You of all mares should know this tidbit of knowledge'.
"Spike's easy...ready for what?" Rarity scanned the table for her answer "But Spikey Wikey's a gentle dragon, He...he's he's a".
Apple Jack smirked "He's a grown boy and lot older then a colt Rares".
Rarity looked at Spike in a new light her little dragon looked back with a shy look of a fine specimen of a gentle male figure.
Pinkie screamed "Dragon in heat PARTY!"
A miniature clawed hand hushed the pink one "I'm afraid Miss Pie that a party of that sort is more of an intimate affair for only two".
A host of miniature Discords whispered words of wisdom into each of the Element Bearers ears and Spike. His eyes went cross eyed.
"No way!" Spike gasped.
"That would make a problem for a party" Pinkie thought "A party for two...I'll need nose plugs!"
Apple Jack chortled "So I might become an auntie?"
Fluttershy looked at Discord miniature number five "That would be nice, If you want, if you didn't mind that is?"
Twilight blew more snot bubbles thinking Spikes heat can influence a mares cycle? I got to contact Lord Ember immediately!
Twilights hoof started scribbling at a furious pace the scroll almost smoking as she wrote the urgent message to the dragon Lord.
Rarity looked at Spike. Her tears started to flow no shaking hooves no fury of emotions just the truth coming to the surface.
"Spikey?" she spoke softly almost a whisper "I'm so sorry for teasing you".
"It's okay Rarity" Spike looked down at her hooves his snarky voice "from the lady who had a Trenderhoof shrine" his wink followed.
"No it's not okay Spikey, I've been teasing and flirting with no regard to who you are" she coughed and looked at his claws reaching out.
"Rarity it's fine, I'm a dragon and it would be a little weird if a mare and a dragon hooked up wouldn't it?"
"I think it would be a splendid Idea for a mare and a dragon to be together after all these years".
Spike looked into her eyes with a small sweet smile on his face. Rarity removed her mask to return a likewise smile.
"Rarity what are you doing?" Spike was alarmed at her breathing in large breaths of the dragons stinky B.O.
"Thank you for not taking advantage of me in our earlier moment of weakness" Raritys eyes sparkled "I do want this".
"I 'm sorry Rarity I got to tell you something" Spike blushed.
"What is it my Spikey?"
"I sort of peeked I really couldn't miss your boo..."
"I hope you liked what you saw, think of it as an early gift" Rarity cooed "and I still think you're my gentle dragon" he could only nod.
"Bsend bit SBpike" Twilight held out her scroll for the dragon empire and in a flash it was sent cc. Princess Celestia.
Rarity had made her choice and Spike couldn't of been happier they just waited for Twilights answer on the subject.
With her head buried in the vaporizer a towel over her head the bunch munched a little lunch as all eyes watched the
serious business mare turned silly filly booping snouts and bumping hooves and tickling her dragon.
A cloud of smoke wafted in above the table and materialized into a parchment falling for all to see, everypony paused.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
to Princess Twilight Sparkle
Pon fire or Dragon heat lasts a week or two effecting any female in smelling distance
frequent bathing helps a little
Spike did say he does friends and as Dragon Lord it is none of my business it's your dragon friendship thingy
You get to Deal With it!
xoxoxo Dragon Lord Ember
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Twilight now with cleared passages finished with reading the letter out loud she looked up as two tails one blue and
the other purple vanished behind the doors exiting the throne room with the echo of giggling preceded with
You get to deal with it...
_________________time passes__________________
Spike was strolling along pushing a carriage his time with Rarity was well spent and the twins were the proof of that.
"It's all your fault you did this to me! You caused all these troubles befall the lord of chaos" Discord grumbled "I thought after a
thousand years that I the LORD of Chaos was the supreme one to go to for the balance of life no order no chaos -no chaos no order.
Now I have the curse of harmony, I've been reduced to a mime I have become... I've become a DADDY".
Spike looked at the draconequus with a knowing smile "Yeah right bunnies, and that unscrewing stuff? never in a million years".
Spike looked at Discord and whispered "Everpony knows if you want real chaos is to have a bunch of foals".
Discords face palm was heard along with his last words "or Bunnies".
