Chapters I wasn't exactly a fan of having to endlessly go to school everyday. Each day for the past three years I've been getting up, going to school, sitting through class; before going home, and sleeping. Rinse, repeat eternally. It seemed that all of my valuable years; in which I had to sit in a boring, plain classroom in an almost agonizingly painful silence. Life sure knew how to throw one heck of a curveball. Without fail, it would bore me to the point of insanity through those times; although, there was a certain girl around that has caught my eye.
All she ever seemed to do was draw colorful, happy pictures that contrasted; ironically to the situation that I, myself, felt the opposite. She was a loner, like myself, but for a completely different reason. One of her friends would pick on her for a number of reasons. For some reason, it bothered me, but I never said anything. All I could do was watch the events fold out, since everyone sees me as the bad guy.
She was the one beacon of light that managed to pierce the darkness, that was the utter boredom I felt, and that was improbable, being able to actually watch her. I knew it seemed condescending, but how could I complain about having to stare at someone who could easily surpass the majestic beauty of an angel?
I knew she wasn't one of course; I mean it wasn't like she would talk to me or anything, so I just settled for the fact that I could only watch her in the distance. If only she would talk to me, then things would be interesting... or so I thought.
The thought made a grin creep its way onto my usually placid face, which I proceeded to wipe off immediately as I heard the doorknob rattle from the efforts of someone attempting to get in. I sat up expectantly considering, happily, the thought of possibly being dismissed from watching the classroom. Upon viewing the individual, I sank back heavily with a disappointed groan.
It was only the teacher, clumsily making his way into the room, and almost tripping over a small chair. "Oh it's just you... I don't suppose you're here to tell me I'm free to go?" I asked as my hope was roughly thwarted by my disappointment.
The teacher gave me an apologetic look, which only increased the weight of the let down. "Unfortunately not, I was just dropping something off. Coco asked me earlier if I could get her something, and I didn't see any reason to say no," he proclaimed proudly with a stupid grin.
I watched curiously as the teacher brought a box of crayons out from somewhere in his box. I could feel my eyes widen in amazement as I saw Coco walk over to him, gently taking the gift, and even offering an appreciative smile accompanied by a soft, "thank you."
I was sure that if I hadn't had better control of my jaw, it would have hit the floor. That was most definitely the record breaker of interactions I had ever seen her exchange with anyone. Why didn't she talk with me that way, smile at me the way she did to him? Was there something wrong with me? Then again, I probably scare the daylights out of her; I'm not exactly the most friendly guy in school after all. I was also aware that my personality definitely didn't give off the impression of a calm demeanor.
With a light shake of my head I sent the thoughts away; just in time to catch the teacher giving me an odd look, before noiselessly leaving the confines of the room. I shrugged off the look shifting my gaze to the small girl, who was once again focused on the picture she had momentarily neglected.
I felt a flicker of irritation spark in the depths of emptiness that inhabited my chest. I didn't like to be ignored; especially if everyone besides me was being treated to even a little of her attention, while I was being left out. I'm fed up with this stupid silent treatment I've been given. I haven't done anything… have I?
In any case, I'm going to break the ice and say something. I looked around the room for some inspiration, feeling my small flame of anger die down when I noticed how wrong I was. I had said her pictures were happy; a lot of them were actually pretty sad, colorful, but sad.
"Why are they all so sad?" I asked in a quiet voice. I almost didn't recognize as being my own.
I sat in an expectant silence beginning to consider that I hadn't voiced the question at all. But then I heard the legs of her chair scrape against the floor as she got up from her table, picture in hand. My gaze followed her petite figure as she stopped in front of one of the walls– adding her newest picture to the growing collection plastered across to the wall.
I was about to repeat the question, still unsure if she had heard, or if I had even asked. But stopped when I heard her gentle voice reverberate the walls, as it pierced the deafening silence. "Maybe because it's the only thing I feel that I can draw. I don't know what it's like to be truly happy… I don't really know what it's like to be sad, but maybe being sad and hollow are alike.”
“I only see emptiness when I look at my pictures. Colors and shapes with no meaning behind them," she explained with a sadness far more than evident in her voice. "You know, I heard that drawings hold a piece of the artist. Something special that eventually forms an invisible connection that grows with the people around them," she looked up at me.
I could see tears brimming on the edge of her lash line, threatening to spill over, "my pictures always turn out so… empty, because I don't have a piece of myself to share. I'm just empty, and meaningless like my drawings." I could only watch with shame as her tears escaped the corner of her eyes slowly etching glistening trails down her cheeks ending at her jaw line.
Way to go, idiot! You try to start a conversation, and you end up making her feel worse. Oh, and not to mention, cry!
I felt the burning sensation of guilt grow steadily in my stomach as I watched her turn away from me in an attempt to hide her tears, and compose herself. I stood up from the couch, where I had been sitting the whole time, scratching my head nervously.
"Aw geez, why do I always screw everything up," I muttered under my breath.
I edged my way slowly towards her, slightly shaking form, before stopping to delve into my mind for a solution to one of the many problems I always seem to create. There had to be something I could do that would make her feel better. I'd never openly admit it, but it really tugged at my heartstrings; I wished I would have, whenever I see her hurting in any way.
I could almost see the light of the imaginary light bulb that illuminated over my head. I hesitantly headed towards one of the walls, decorated by layers upon layers of drawings. I studied the wall for a moment, before gently taking down a picture: a shadow filled sky with only a simple, radiant beam of soft white light piercing the oppressive darkness, which threatened to smother the horizon.
I stood behind her. Hoping that what I was about to say would make her stop crying, as well as relieve me of the waves of guilt, angrily lurching inside me. Well, here goes nothing, "Coco?"
I could hear a small sniffle, and saw her arm raise as she wiped away the tears, I knew stained her cheeks. She turned around to face me blinking a few times, before looking up at me. I couldn't help but feel disoriented as her beautiful light cyan eyes, rimmed by long tear speckled eyelashes, rested timidly on me.
Pull it together man! She's just a girl, and as an added bonus, she probably hates your guts. You're just a bully, and everyone hates you… you should be used to speaking your mind by now, not to mention: you made her cry not very long ago.
I blinked a few times, clearing my throat, in an attempt to regain control of my runaway thoughts. I ran my hand through my hair, before starting my mending process with uncertainty.
"Look, I'm sorry that I made you upset… but, believe it or not, it really wasn't my intention. Since I'm being honest right now, I just want to say that I think you're wrong," I started slowly.
I saw a wave of confusion wash over her face, and her eyes lost most of their moistness as she seemed to be focusing her mind on what I had said instead of on crying.
"About your pictures… I don't really think that you need a give a piece of yourself to someone just for the sake of it. If it makes you feel hollow, try and focus on what makes you feel whole. I know you don't like me very much… ah, heck, I even made you cry… but I hope you would let me keep… err… this one, as an example of your… eh… 'fullest,' I guess."
I looked at the picture I had chosen for a second before continuing.
"I know we have different roles, you and I… but you shouldn't let that stop you. You know, it shouldn't matter. You feel that if you did your very best, putting your very soul into each drawing, it's good enough. If you draw as if you have to impress someone…” I paused briefly.
“How could it really be different?" I asked with seriousness biting my lip in concentration, "I'm not sure what else I can say… I’m not exactly sure what your friend told you; perhaps something about you not amounting to anything, just because she didn't like it. She couldn't have been more wrong. I mean you shared this picture with me, and it already feels like a piece of you– close to me that I can always keep…” I trailed off tentatively.
I looked up, previously staring at my beat up shoes. A warm feeling washing through me when I saw that she no longer had any remains of tears in her eyes, and a bashful smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
Wow, I really can have a way with words… when it comes to this, I guess. I snuck a quick glance at the small clock above the door, before returning my gaze to her.
"Well, my punishment is just about finished… so, I guess I'll be taking my picture, and I don't ever want to see you crying because of some stupid thing that comes out of my or anyone else's mouth. I'd honestly rather have you call me out than cry about me… got it?” I asked with genuine honesty.
She nodded in agreement with a small smile. I turned to leave, but her gentle voice called out, "wait!”
I stopped, turning around eyeing her curiously. I looked down in amazement as I felt her delicate hand intertwine with mine. She gave me a rare smile gently squeezing my hand. “Thank you… f-for what you said. It… It really meant a lot to me."
I smiled, and turned around getting ready to leave when she stopped me.
"A-and you were wrong, you know."
My face crinkled in confusion by what she explained, but it melted away to a look I couldn't describe; as she took me by surprise, leaning up, and giving me a small kiss on the cheek. I felt the spot, where her lips had tenderly touched my skin, growing warmer than the heat, which constantly ran through my blood. It was a different warmth, one I wished would last forever. I was still a bit confused by what she had said… but then her sweet voice dissipated that confusion.
"You said that I didn't like you very much…” I watched as she shyly looked at her shoes, before looking up, and finishing her sentence, "you were wrong. You seem like a caring person despite what others say about you. You took the time to talk to me, and cheer me up. That makes you a good person.”
I could feel my cheeks redden, it was a new and strange feeling, but it was a nice feeling. I gave her small hand a soft squeeze in return– shifting out of my, rare, sensitive side.
"Yeah. Well, even someone as mean as myself has some momentary lapses in judgment," I proclaimed with a smirk. I was treated to a rosy blush adopting across her cheeks. I gently, and reluctantly, released my hand from hers, before turning to the door.
"I'll see you tomorrow Coco," I said with a quick wink. "You know… if you surprise me with a special picture, I might surprise you with something in return… what do you say?" I asked hopefully.
She gave me a coy look before replying, "I guess we'll see tomorrow… if I have a picture, you owe me a surprise."
"Fair enough," I agreed.
On that note, I exited the luminous plain, but colorful, room with a grin dancing impishly on my face. I couldn't wait for tomorrow, because somehow, I already knew what she would say… I knew there would be a picture waiting for me, and I knew she would get the surprise I had promised.
I couldn't stop replaying the whole day in my head, honestly, wondering how things had turned out the way they had; not to mention: how quickly things turned themselves around. We literally went from; not even acquaintances, to teetering on the precipice of friends, or something more. I couldn't explain all the different things swirling relentlessly through my head. My body was utterly exhausted, but my mind was wide awake; so I just lay sprawled out on the bed, waiting for sweet sedation to eventually come and claim my nerves.
I have no idea what to surprise her with; it has to be something good, something really special. But what!? I rolled over onto my side in an attempt to get more comfortable, and perhaps to increase the insufficient amount of brain power rushing in my head.
"It's no use!" I muttered with a growing frustration, "she'll probably have some freakin’ goddess masterpiece ready for me, and I'll have a halfhearted stab at a surprise."
I got up roughly from my bed, further destroying my previous endeavors to keep it neat, as the covers were thrown to the floor. Still suffering from slight nostalgia, I stumbled to the double doors, which led to the balcony, one of the perks to having your room in the higher levels. I swore quietly as I struck my toe on a planter placed stupidly in the middle of the balcony.
I really should move that damn thing… whatever, I'll do it later.
I learned all my weight against the railing, letting out a heavy sigh that sliced through the eerie silence that constantly seemed to hang in the stale air. I allowed my mind to wander from the thoughts about the surprise, yet to be planned. Instead, drifting to the girl who had caused them in the first place. My elbow slipped off the railing as I daydreamed sleepily about the girl I knew I didn't deserve.
I shook my head lethargically, trying to shake the drowsiness to no avail. If I don't get some sleep soon, I'll end up missing the whole day, and the surprise I'm supposed to give… oh well, I have all of tomorrow to come up with something. No sweat.
So I turned to go back inside, successfully stubbing my toe on the same planter once again. I limped painfully back to my bed, grumbling all the while, before collapsing forcefully onto the welcoming mattress. Sleep claiming me before my head even hit the pillow's warm embrace.
* * *
I was rudely awakened by the sound of an alarm clock blaring shrilly in my ear, which I proceeded to smash with a quick swing of my fist. However, my head jerked up from the pillow, I could feel my eyes narrow in irritation; as I heard a voice reverberate loudly off the walls of my room. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate how annoyed I was.
"It looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," an empty voice drawled mockingly.
The fact that the intruder was none other than, my friend, Crunch did nothing, but increase my anger ten-fold. I could feel my eyes emit a burning hatred that could've easily burned straight through him. I would have loved to start something any other day, and smack that smug look right off his face, but today, I couldn't take the risk of getting in trouble. Grudgingly, I pushed the rage to the back of my mind, where I could call forth it's wrath some other time.
"Yeah looks like it, idiot. You know? I'm not exactly in the mood to kill you right now… but I might make an exception if you don't get out now." I snarled, my voice dripping with acid.
The intensity that spiked from me, ultimately discouraged him from starting something he knew he wouldn't be able to finish. "Humph, fine I'll go. It would've only been a waste of valuable energy anyways," he said, the sting of defeat ringing with a silent clarity. As he turned to leave, I couldn't keep a sneer of unvoiced victory from inching onto my face.
After untangling myself from the safety of my covers, I leapt into the shower, before pulling on my usual attire. I gave myself a quick look over in the mirror, accompanied by a satisfied grin, signaling my approval. I strode briskly out the door, swiftly locking it behind me. I had decided against going to the kitchen, I didn't really feel like starting a fight with my parents. Not to mention my raging anger had melted the desire to eat a lingering pile of ashes.
It didn't take me long to get to school, as I ran there. My footfalls led me in the direction of the drawing room, not because I had a shift, but because my mind had made the decision to get my picture, before planning her surprise. It seemed like a decent idea now that I actually thought about it.
I mean, firstly I'll know if she even wants a surprise, and second… maybe it could serve as inspiration, pictures can tend to do that. Anyways, I'd rather do something she wants then randomly plan some surprise. I was going to do that in the first place… heh, but not anymore!
Mulling over the possible surprises, I almost ran straight into the door, but my quick instincts saved me from embarrassment. I caught myself, quickly dashing back around the corner to come up with a plan.
Ah, I forgot about the shift change. So that means that… that teacher will be in there. Damn… this is gonna be harder than I thought. I leaned against the wall absently scratching the back of my head, trying to sniff out a possible loophole to manipulate.
Wait… I got it! He always takes a ten minute “break” to go sneak off to his secret meeting place, not that you can even call it that. I mean honestly, he brags about it non-stop… there's no reason to be proud about it when numerous other people know about it.
Luckily, I didn't have to entertain those thoughts any longer; as the sound of a door opening forced my attention elsewhere. I stealthily snuck a glance around the corner, watching as the teacher turned the corner that led to the main staircase. I hugged the wall as I cautiously edged my way to the door. I slowly opened the door, gently closing it behind me after successfully getting inside.
I quickly spotted her sitting at the small table, drawing quietly. "Hey Coco. I believe you said I'd have to wait, and see what you thought of my little proposal," I said as loud as I dared, while leaning against the door I had just come through.
I watched with amusement as she looked up in shock upon hearing my voice, not realizing that I had even entered the room. I've got some mad stealth skills… heh, sweet.
Her shock left as quickly as it had came, and was replaced with a beautiful smile that, without fail, always took my breath away. I watched a sparkle dance elegantly in her light cyan eyes, one that, I swore could illuminate even the darkest depth that lay in my chest.
She gracefully rose from her chair, making her way to a table that had a picture lying patiently on the top. Her fingers gingerly picked up the drawing, before she hugged it to her chest in an attempt to hide the image she had carefully created. I tilted my head in a useless effort to catch a glimpse, but snapped it back when she scolded me in a mock-serious voice, "No peeking!"
A mischievous grin found a way to skulk onto my face as I came up with a little scheme. I took a small step towards her and inquired innocently, "who me? You know me better Coco. If I was trying to get something from you, I'd probably just… take it."
Her eyes widened in alarm, but I couldn't miss the playful twinkle that shimmered prettily in her irises. "You wouldn't dare," she scoffed with a budding smile.
The next thing she knew, I had my arms behind her petite figure. She couldn't help but say coyly, "if I didn't know better, I'd say it was me you wanted."
My breath ruffled her hair gently as I softly chuckled, before answering with a simple, and slightly cheeky, "maybe." She didn't resist as my hands caringly pried her drawing from compliant fingers.
I stepped back a little, one hand still resting around her waist. I let my eyes take in the beautiful picture she had drawn for me. I hadn't known before, just how right I had been about her having a masterpiece waiting for me. Whoa… this must've taken her all of last night to make. My eyes slowly scanned the paper, hypnotized by the beauty. All the soft, yet strangely intense hues smeared delicately over every inch of the canvas. It could have easily been cut right from the landscape it belonged to.
At that moment, I decided what I would do for her surprise. I pulled my gaze reluctantly from the stunning picture, looking into her expectant cyan eyes that deeply searched my own emerald ones. "It's amazing, I can't believe it's for me. It almost feels wrong to accept it," I said in a tender voice.
A look of complete happiness enhanced her pretty feature, and I felt her delicate touch as she gently slid her hand into mine and intertwined her fingers with mine.
"It's mine to give… and you're the only one I want to give it to. Besides," she began with a small giggle, "I've never been surprised before."
I couldn't help but smile at her happiness, knowing that I had been a part of it. But I remembered there was a limit on my time with her at the moment. "I'm going to have to go now, the teacher should be back real soon," I said, inwardly cursing at him.
I watched as she opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her by leaning in and whispering in her ear, "don't worry, I'll be back later to get you for your surprise."
With that said, I carefully opened the door, peeking in each direction, before sending her a quick wave, disappearing to the left, picture in hand.
*Some time later*
I was making my way to the drawing room for the second time today. I had already looked to check if that teacher was around, and gave a little cheer inside when I saw him preoccupied in a heated conversation with some other student. There wasn't enough room for them all, so I wasn't surprised to see a mini-brawl about who got the last hamburger currently raging on inside.
With that reassurance fresh in my head, I continued on my way to the room with less caution, but still aware that anything could happen though. I let out a sigh of relief as I reached the door undetected. Okay, halfway there… just have to get her outside of this place without getting caught. No big deal… that's some wishful thinking there.
I quietly slipped into the room, after taking another look down the hallway. Closing the door behind me, I looked up to see her fixing her flawless hair in the mirror. The thought of her wanting to look good for me made a warm feeling run through me.
"Getting all pretty for me?" I asked slyly, as I leaned against her door with a small smirk.
She whirled around, caught off guard, but gave me a playful glare before scolding, "you really have to stop sneaking up on me like that."
"Nah, it's too fun," I said with a smile, before walking over and gently taking her hand. "Come on, we have to go," I whispered with a small tug on her arm.
"Where are we going?" she asked curiously.
But was immediately quieted by a quick, "shh! We can't get caught, and yeah, do you really expect me to ruin your surprise?"
She smiled, and shook her head slowly. We then proceeded to exit the room backtracking along my previous path towards the entrance. We managed to reach the front of the school doors, but froze when I heard a voice. "Hey Grumpy, where are you going… why is she with you... oh," the familiar voice trailed off.
I protectively pushed her behind me, but relaxed a great deal when I saw who had spoken. It was none other than Crunch, standing by the staircase we had just sneaked down. It appeared he had, amazingly, won the fight for the hamburger, because there he stood, happily munching on it with a beauty of a bruise forming around his eye. I couldn't hold in a snicker as I said, "nice shiner dude, but for a hamburger… come on."
He threw me a goofy grin as he shoved the remainder of the burger into his mouth.
"What can I say? I love me some burgers… but I'm still wondering if it was worth getting socked by that guy," he said, as he gingerly touched the developing bruise with a wince. "What about you? What are you getting yourself into now… more trouble no doubt," he added with a raised eyebrow.
"Maybe… but just don't say anything, alright?" I asked with a desperate look.
"Yeah, you got it… but you so owe me," he said as he headed towards the cafeteria to appease his still rumbling stomach.
I turned to look at the girl still clutching my shirt, and placed my hand on her back to lead her out the entrance. I was pleased to feel her tension leave at my touch. We headed a little further away before I stopped and said, "close your eyes until I tell you to open them… I don't want your surprise ruined."
She let her lids fall, until her long eyelashes sweetly kissed her cheeks. I proceeded to wave a hand in front of her eyes; satisfied, I led her away toward the beach. We didn't exchange a word, but I knew she wouldn't peek. Upon arrival, I stared at the view proudly, before leading her forward.
"Okay, you can open your eyes."
I watched nervously as she slowly opened her eyes. They widened, in what I hoped was amazement, but I couldn't be sure. She took a few hesitant steps forward her feet sinking slightly, being gently caressed by the warm, white sand. She stopped at the edge of the water, letting a lazy wave tenderly wash over her small sand speckled feet. She looked toward the horizon letting out a quiet gasp of awe. She looked as if she could reach out and touch it, it was as though she had never seen something so real, so breathtaking.
A variety of colours created by nature itself, smeared effortlessly across the evening sky. Creamy, golden yellows engulfed by intense, and fierce ambers; a touch of pink tickling the edges of a deep, and powerful ruby red shade. She raised her hand, almost shyly; reaching out to slowly trace every ripple, every crease etched softly into the sky. The glistening reflection of the dying sunset entranced her with it's fractured light dancing happily over the water.
It was a glimpse of something she might have dreamed of seeing, something she had accepted would only pass her by. But now, she was touching something real, feeling the warmth, the chill. Seeing something full of colours that, for once, she hadn't drawn herself. Her head gave a small shake, as my soft steps came closer to her, until I was standing at her side at the water’s edge.
"Well, what do you think?" I asked hopefully with a sideways glance at her face, beautifully illuminated by the dying rays of the receding sun.
I saw a tear leave a glistening trail down her cheek, sparkling brightly from the reflected light. I almost started to regret my decision to take her here, but then I saw the smile that brightened her face with a happiness that outshone even the sun at it's highest peak.
"It's perfect… it's the picture I drew. How did you know I wanted to come here? I've only ever dreamed of a sight like this. I never imagined something this beautiful," she said breathily.
"I came here once on a dare, it didn't feel quite as special then, but I think it was missing something then," I explained thoughtfully.
I felt her slender arms wrap around my waist, and I pulled her warm body closer to mine. She pressed her face to my chest, her tears staining my shirt. But, it didn't bother me. I lifted her chin delicately watching her eyes close slowly, mine followed soon after.
Our lips touched softly and sweetly; a simple yet passionate moment that made me feel as close to alive as I could possibly hope. It was a pure moment of innocence, which shined in a second of brilliance that any light could only wish to strive toward. I pulled away slowly, our faces still lingering closely. A feeling of indescribable safety overwhelming our proximity.
I was the first to speak, as our cheeks tenderly brushed in a simple gesture that we knew meant more than anyone could ever comprehend. "I know what was missing before… someone to enjoy it with… and that someone… is you," I let out a soft laugh, "wow, that sounded so corny."
"I love it… just like I love you," she said as she leaned her head back against my chest.
She gazed happily out at the remains of the dwindling sunset, feeling my arms embrace her with a tenderness no one would have guessed I had.
"I'm glad you found what was missing… there's nothing worse than feeling incomplete," she whispered into my shirt, loud enough for only me to hear. "So you better never leave me," she finished in a gentle tone that would've melted my heart if it was possible.
I affectionately nuzzled her neck and murmured a promise I wouldn't break, "I promise I’ll never leave you Coco.”
In the end, I can't say I'm upset at fate for twisting our lives together, and I can't say that, given the opportunity, and the knowledge of what there was to come, I would have changed the path and hated it.
Coco looked up at me with a tearful smile, “thank you Garble... for everything.” I smiled back at her.
