The Return of Doctor Whooves

"Walking down this rocky road, wondering where my life is leading..."

Rainbow's first emotion was shock. Complete and utter shock when Twilight grabbed ahold of her with her magic and slammed her lips onto hers, tongue going right into her mouth and to her even bigger surprise, Rainbow found herself accepting it when she felt her wings go stiff and she heard a loud POMF! sound, knowing exactly what had happened and kissed Twilight back, wrapping her forelegs around her friend's neck and emitting a soft moan as she did so. They were lost in their kiss of undeniable passion, as if nothing else in the world, not even the Hellhounds barking and scratching at the door, was there but then Rainbow pulled herself away from Twilight, panting hard.

"Why... Why did you kiss me Twi?" Rainbow asked even as she struggled to get her wings back down from the fury and passion from behind Twilight's kiss.

"Rolling on till the bitter end... Finding out along the way what it takes to keep love living. You should know how it feels my friend..."

"Last kiss of the damned?" Twilight answered sheepishly. Rainbow muttered "Fair enough" to herself before shoving Twilight against the wall and kissing her furiously with Twilight grabbing ahold of her flanks and rubbing them making Rainbow emit groaning sounds of pleasure and then there came another POMF! Yep, there went the wings again. Twilight and Rainbow kissed again and again, each time more furious than the last, and each time increasing the speed their lips parted and then met again until they were almost suckling on each other's mouths. Months of built of passion released in a single do it before you die moment. Rainbow wrapped her hind forelegs around Twilight's hips as they tumbled onto a nearby bed and began rolling around on it as both mares ran their hooves through each other's manes.

"Ooh, I want you to stay... Ooh, I want you today... I'm a-ready for love. Oh baby, I'm a-ready for love. Ready for love. Oh baby I'm a-ready for love, for your love..."

"I... I love you Twi." Rainbow whispered as she stopped to take a breather, gasping for air. Both mares were drenched in sweat, and it wasn't because of the nighttime heat.

"I love you too my Rainbow." Twilight whispered back before she lunged in for another kiss, neither of them noticing the twin dying howls of the Hellhounds at the door and the distinct sounds of a blade plunging into flesh twice...

In the Doctor's mindscape...

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The mind of the being known only to him as the Doctor, Abaddon decided was complete and utter chaos. Nothing made sense, it was a jumble of memories, each seemingly making no sense to him and each one coming at him in a complete and utter random order, no chronological sense behind them. Of course, the King of Tartarus had a deep sneaking suspicion that was exactly the way the Doctor wanted it. Keeping him off balance long enough for him to mount a counterattack.

"Come on out Doctor, grow some balls and face me like a stallion... or whatever the bloody Tartarus you are!" Abaddon challenged, his voice going through all aspects of the Doctor's mind. Then, his head was filled with the sound of a clock ticking over and over, so loudly in fact that Abaddon tried to cover his ears with his hooves. But the sound wouldn't stop, growing ever louder still.

"Now now, is that any way to treat a guest?" A voice called out, sounding like it was from Trottingham's West End before a brown coated stallion with a hourglass Cutie Mark and scruffy brown hair appeared before him wearing a blue suit and brown trench coat, along with a pair of 3D Glasses which he took off his face and pocketed in his coat.

"You picked the wrong mind to try and take over King." Pony Ten boasted. "I've lived for over 900 years and I know things you don't, oh... (Here, the Doctor looked sheepish.) Sorry, forgot your name already. 900 years, you tend to pick up everyone's name and not remember it from time to time."

Abaddon growled, but the Doctor wasn't finished mocking him yet.

"You know, I... Weeeeeellll, not me really, but my previous self faced the Devil, or what the universe's original inspiration for the Devil was, and won. Friend of mine, she kicked his sorry arse into a black hole and won. Gotta give my Rosie credit, she can kick flank when the job requires it." Pony Ten continued, while in the real world, Abaddon and the Doctor switched control over their shared body back and forth to continue playing their chess game. So far, it was an equal match.

"Give me your soul now!" Abaddon roared and the Doctor shook his head before saying "GIVE ME YOUR SOUL NOW!" in a mocking version of Abaddon's voice.

"You know, I don't reeeellly respond well to demands." The Doctor commented in a sarcastic tone before throwing in a tsk tsk for good measure. "Soooo, just for that, punishment! Allons-Y!"

Then, the mindscape was filled with the sound of a clock bonging twelve times, in a very loud succession.

BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!

Once the bonging finally stopped, The Doctor smirked before saying "Gotta go, somepony else wants to greet you. Now I really don't want to go, but... Needs must." before waving good-bye and then Pony-Ten vanished before being replaced by Pony-Eleven wearing his brown tween jacket, white button-up shirt and dark green bow-tie as the mindscape changed from disorganized chaos to the interior of his TARDIS.

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"Well, how'd you like a bit of my history class? Probably did Discord proud with all that chaos I put you through." Eleven remarked. "Now, down to business. We both have 49% of my body. 2% is blocked off. Whoever wins this little chess match of ours gets that 2% and control over my body. Want me to seal that contract with a kiss?" The Doctor asked before shuddering in disgust.

"No... Wait, that'd probably be considered narcissism, considering I'd be kissing somepony who looks exactly like me." The Doctor muttered to himself. "Now, that 49% of my mind I gave you shows you my regeneration abilities, so you know I could just do that here and now and remove you by force and send you back to Tartarus."

"Ah ah, but I know you don't have any lives left, so go ahead, stick a knife in your hearts and commit suicide right on the stage if you want." Abaddon retorted. "Leave your love alone crying and weeping for your death and leave the world without another hero. Heroes die so quickly don't you think, and it's always by self-sacrifice." He mused to himself before smirking.

"Oh look, I seem to have taken your King. Guess that means I win anyways, so give up your soul. It's mine now." Abaddon grinned before being greeted with a smirk from the Doctor who changed into a man with a black leather jacket, short military regulation hair and very big ears.

"Ah. but you see, I was playing two games, not just the one in the physical world. And now for my next trick..." The Ninth said with a Northern accent before Abaddon realized that there had been the First's voice speaking all the while in the background, he just never had noticed it before until now because he was so distracted by the other Doctors. Here is what the First had been saying all the while.

"Regna terrae, cantate Deo,

psallite Domino

qui fertis super caelum

caeli ad Orientem

Ecce dabit voci Suae

vocem virtutis,

tribuite virtutem Deo."

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus

omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio

infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,

omnis congregatio et secta diabolica."

"Ergo draco maledicte

et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te.

cessa decipere humanas creaturas,

eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare."

"Vade, Satana, inventor et magister

omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis.

Humiliare sub potenti manu dei,

contremisce et effuge, invocato a

nobis sancto et terribili nomine,

quem inferi tremunt."

"Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine.

Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias

libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos.

Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae humiliare digneris,

te rogamus, audi nos."

"Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae

te rogamus, audi nos."

"Terribilis Deus de sanctuario suo.

Deus Israhel ipse truderit virtutem

et fortitudinem plebi Suae.

Benedictus Deus. Gloria Patri."

The Real World

Abaddon roared in rage just as he turned into a swirling pillar of red smoke and swirled up into the ceiling before arching downwards into a rapidly developing hole in the ground which closed itself up as soon as all of Abaddon's essence was gone.

"Defeated a Demon King while in my jim-jams. Not bad, very Arthur Dent. Now THERE was a very nice man, quite the kisser. Now..." The Doctor said, adjusting his bow-tie and retrieving his fez. "Can somepony untie me... Please?"

With Castiel...

Akachi/Castel wiped the black blood of the two Hellhounds off his host's robes and his Angel Blade and grimaced. It was messy work, but it had to be done. Waving his hoof, he un-barricaded the door to the hut Rainbow and Twilight were currently in and opened it only to be greeted with quite the sight.

"OH! OH! RAINBOW!"

"How do you like me now, egghead?"

A blush rapidly came to the Angel's face and he murmured to himself "That... That is inappropriate." before quickly shutting the door. He could wait till they were finished. It wasn't like anything else important was going on elsewhere... right?

In Canterlot...

Target Quartermane growled as she found herself surrounded by Shadowbolts on all sides, and to her shock, they multiplied.

"Oh great, now I'll never remember all your names." She muttered before pumping her shotgun. "Oh well, not like you'll live much longer anyways..."

KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! went her weapon as each Shadowbolt went down one by one, Target meeting each one as they came. One came up at Target from behind her, but she whirled around to face it, and blew it's brains out with a shotgun blast. More came, and then Galaxy Swirls ran up and leaped over Target in a spinning motion, all the while in midair pulling out twin knives from his armor and holding one in each hoof before stabbing two Shadowbolts in the foreheads, dropping them and landing behind their dead bodies even as more appeared.

"Now I think you've made them mad." Galaxy commented cheerfully as he pulled out the First Blade.

"Don't worry, been working on my apology." Target replied before pumping her shotgun once more.

KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM!

(AN: End Black Dog here)