A True Eredar Lord's Tale
In the tower of Karazhan, Viz’aduum the Watcher floated through the halls. “Where is that accursed Eredar?” he wondered aloud. “He must pay for his failure.”
“Yes, you've said that twelve times now,” a Felguard replied. “Ever since you were first summoned, you've been yammering as though any of us actually care.”
“I'll have you know I was sent here my Kil'jaeden himself!” Viz’aduum snapped back. “I won't hesitate to tell him that you're a defector!”
The Felguard furrowed his brow. “Fine, I'll shut up,” he growled.
“Excellent,” Viz'aduum replied. “Now, if I'm not mistaken, our failure of an Eredar prince should be through this door.”
“Wait, didn't you-”
“Question me again, and I'll erase you from this world—and the Nether!” Viz'aduum charged up an eye beam and fired it at the door. “Malchezaar! You're hereby relieved of your duties here!”
Malchezaar turned around and looked down at the floating purple mass. “Since when were watchers here at Karazhan?”
“I was sent here to retake this tower!” Viz'aduum said. “You, however, will not be here to witness our glorious victory!”
“Does the Legion require me elsewhere?” Malchezaar inquired. “Because I remember being told that if always receive orders directly from them, and I was told not to abandon my post here for the current invasion.”
“No, you're being sent somewhere where you'll be incapable failure,” Viz'aduum said as he charged up a bright green beam near Malchezaar’s hooves. “Safe travels!”
“You traitorous eyeball!” Malchezaar yelled as he fell through the bright green portal, which shut before he could continue his rant.
The Felguard turned to look the Watcher, who had a devious smirk on his face. “So, wait, who actually have you the order to get rid of him?”
Viz'aduum disintegrated the Felguard. “I did, you numbskull,” he said as he floated back into the tower.
Malchezaar awoke in a dark cave. “Oh, that damn eye is going to get it when I get back,” he growled as he rubbed his head. “I'll summon an Infernal right on top of him!”
“Hey, would you quiet down?” a voice growled from the other side of the cave. “I'm trying to plan my vengeance on the ponies above!”
Malchezaar stood up and turned around. “Ponies? Vengeance?”
“Yes, those accursed Crystal ponies shall pay for sending me to this stupid cave! For my name isn't Bucephalus J. Sombra!”
“Well, Bucephalus-”
“Call me Sombra.” Sombra turned around and gasped. “What in the world are you!?” he asked, his mouth agape. “You look absolutely terrifying!”
Malchezaar smirked. “My name is Malchezaar,” he said. “I'm Eredar prince, and all realities, all dimensions are open to me!”
Sombra raised an eyebrow as he trotted forward. “Oh really now?” he asked. “Elaborate, please.”
Malchezaar held up a hand. “Behold, power unlike anything you've ever see!”
Sombra looked up to see…
Nothing.
“Well that's… something,” he said as he held back laughter. “For such an enormous being, you sure have no power to back it up.”
“What kind of sorcery is this!?” Malchezaar asked angrily. “Does my power not extend to this realm!?”
“Guess so,” Sombra said snarkily. “Now, step aside. I must begin my plan to take back my kingdom!”
Malchezaar stepped in front of Sombra. “Hold on, little equine!” he snapped. “You're going to tell me where I am, or you shall face the wrath of a true Eredar lord!”
“You're on the planet known as Equus,” Sombra said. “Now, so long, freaky thing!”
Before Sombra could leave the cave, Malchezaar grabbed his left hand leg and dragged him back down. “You are going to help me bring the Burning Legion here, horse,” he growled. “Do so, and I will grant you unfathomable power!”
“Okay, slow down there,” Sombra said. “First, you wished to leave, now you want to bring an entire army!?”
“I figured I was still on Azeroth,” Malchezaar said. “Now that I know in in another planet, it is my duty as an Eredar to conquer it and claim it in the name of Sargeras!”
“Yeah. well, I'm one unicorn,” Sombra replied. “So, ciao, good luck with your army summoning.” With that, Sombra teleported out of Malchezaar’s grasp and turned into a cloud of smoke before he made his way towards the top of the cave.
“Hey, get back here you bastard!” Malchezaar looked around and grabbed a rock. He threw it at Sombra and struck his head, which caused him to fall backwards.
“Oh, you jackass,” Sombra said. “You're a real prick—and I once enslaved my entire kingdom!”
“Yeah, and my leader has driven a sword through entire planets,” Malchezaar replied. “Now, if you wish to be this way, I'll force you to help me!” He raised up a fist and slammed it down onto the ground.
Sombra cast up a shield, which blocked Malchezaar's attack. “How about I help you after I take back my kingdom!?” he asked.
Malchezaar rubbed his chin. “Okay,” he said after a few seconds. “I accept your offer.”
“Terrific,” Sombra replied. “Kt shouldn't take very long.” With that, he turned back into a cloud of smoke and rose quickly to the surface, which broke open as Sombra vanished above.
“He better keep his word,” Malchezaar said as he sat down next to the wall and waited.
A short while later
Malchezaar drew on the wall with a rock. “Drawing six hundred and forty-eight of Kil'jaeden in a dress complete,” he said to himself. “Time for drawing-”
THUD
Before he could finish his sentence, from down the hallway, he heard something land on the ground. He got up and ran towards it to see Sombra, his horn chipped in two—and knocked unconscious.
“Simple fool,” Malchezaar said, when a sudden realization hit him. “Crap. I have no powers, and no way out.” He rubbed his chin and sighed. “Time to do what I did for nine years at Karazhan,” he said as he sat down next to the wall, across from Sombra. “I just hope he wakes up soon.”
Nine years later
Twilight Sparkle walked through the tunnels beneath the frozen wastelands outside the Crystal Empire. “So, you're absolutely sure you saw a monster beneath here, Lilac?” she asked a Crystal pony. “You sure it wasn't your imagination?”
“I’m as sure as I am that you're an Alicorn,” Lilac replied. “It was bigger than anything I've ever seen! Maybe even bigger than a dragon!”
Twilight rolled her eyes as she continued to walk. After a few minutes, she arrived in what looked like a living room. Hundreds upon hundreds of cave drawings depicting demons in dresses covered the wall—along with torches. “Uhh… is this where you saw the creature?” she asked her companion.
“Yes,” Lilac replied. “And it's right over there.”
Twilight turned her head to see Malchezaar roasting a wolf over a fire, near the decomposing body of Sombra. “Oh, visitors!” Malchezaar—who now sported a large beard—said excitedly. “Have you come to visit me and Sombra?”
Twilight stared, slackjawed. “What… in Celestia's name are you?”
Malchezaar turned to face Sombra’s corpse. “Oh, did you hear that, buddy? I think they're here to rescue us!”
Twilight and Lilac looked at each other before they ran back the way they came, screaming.
Malchezaar let out a heavy sigh. “Some day, I'll summon my army,” he said somberly. “Oh well, no matter!” He took a fork made of stone and slammed it into the wolf meat. “Time to eat!”
Author's Note
And this is why Prince Malchezaar isn't in Return to Karazhan.
