Filly Stew

by Matthew Penn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure
Length: 4676

An ogre captures the Cutie Mark Crusaders and prepares them for a meal, but makes a deal to listen to their stories before they're eaten.

It's no secret that Scootaloo doesn't have a sense of direction, but Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle would never have imagined she'd lead them in circles for lost treasure that may or may not exist.

When it begins to rain, they find shelter in an isolated cabin in the woods. Unfortunately, the cabin already has an inhabitant… a really hungry ogre, and he has his eyes on the Cutie Mark Crusaders. As they're bound by rope and the Ogre prepares a large, black cauldron, the Cutie Mark Crusaders make a deal with him: if they can entertain him by telling the best stories they can come up with, he'll let them go. The Ogre is not easily entertained, but decides to take their bet. There's nothing like a good story before a meal.

Three fillies, three stories, and one very hungry (and very impatient) ogre.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-04 17:45:17 UTC

The Bet

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were stuck in a dark corner, their limbs immovable due to the strength of the rope. They watched in fearful silence as the Ogre set up the large cauldron and filled it with water. Then he entered another room in his cabin and placed mold-covered vegetables on a wooden table. Sweetie Belle caught a glimpse of them, and felt an unpleasant reaction in the bottom of her stomach.

Scootaloo turned her head to look at a nearby window. The rain seemed to slow down but the sky was still dark. There was a flash of lightning and a low rumble of thunder. She gazed at the Ogre as he tried to start a fire using sticks and rocks. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Ogres were real, and a real one was right in front of them. Neither of them had seen one before, and sadly this will be the only time they will see one alive.

The Ogre grunted and groaned as he tried to light a fire, but grew frustrated. “I’ll be right back,” he said, although he turned back and said in a joking manner, “Don’t go anywhere,” and left the room.

With the Ogre out of the room, Scootaloo took what was a good moment to talk to her friends. “This is really bad,” she said, her voice trembling. “What are we going to do?” she whispered.

“What do you mean we?” said Apple Bloom sharply. “You were the one that got us into this mess! It’s all your fault!”

“How is it my fault? You were the one that wanted to lead the way!”

“Well, if only if you hadn’t stolen that stupid treasure map, we never would have got ourselves eaten by a dang ogre!”

“No, it’s my fault,” Sweetie sighed. “I was the one who found the cabin. I didn’t know an ogre was living here. It’s my fault we’re being eaten,” she said, almost weeping.

“You were only trying to help,” Apple Bloom said, “unlike some other pony I know.”

“Whenever something bad happens you always blame me!” Scootaloo said sharply. “Don’t act like you never made a mistake before!”

“Will you two stop fighting?” Sweetie pleaded. “This is going to be our last moments together! Just this once will you act like you care?”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo fell silent. Sweetie Belle realized that no matter what will happen to them, those two will always find time to pass the blame on each other instead of focusing on what mattered the most. She brought her head down and waited to be the Ogre’s next meal. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo just sat there, waiting with her. Footsteps pounded the floors, and the Ogre returned with that foul stench and a box of matches. He lit one and cast it into the pile of sticks beneath the cauldron, but it let out. He cursed under his breath and lit another one, and to his annoyance it became weak and flicked away. The Ogre lit multiple matches until he became frustrated.

“I’ll be right back,” the Ogre said. “I’m getting a jar of dragon spit. It’ll make the fire stronger.”

“That’s gross,” Scootaloo muttered.

A moment later the Ogre returned with a jar of dragon spit and poured it into the fire wood and sticks. The substance filled the cabin with a terrible stench, so much so than the foul smell coming from the Ogre himself. He lit a match and casted into into the spit-covered wood, and a fire was ablaze. Unfortunately, the fire made the smell of the spit even worse. The Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to hold themselves down from becoming nauseous.

“The water will come to a boil soon,” the Ogre said. “Now it’s the choice of who will I’ll eat first.” He brought his to each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, examining them one after another. It hadn’t realized it until now, but he had three of each - a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony. That never happened before, and it probably will not happen again. One will have to admit that it was a difficult decision. Just looking at the young fillies made his mouth water. “I think,” he said, looking at either one of them, “I’ll start with the earth pony first. Then I’ll sink my teeth into the pegasus. And finally, the unicorn, the delicious beast of them all. How’s that for a full course meal?”

Sweetie shuddered and wrinkled her face by what the Ogre said about unicorns. She was glad that Rarity will never have to meet him anytime soon. Then she remembered Rarity will never see her again. Tears flowed from Sweetie’s eyes at that horrible thought.

“Don’t cry, little one,” the Ogre mocked. “Soon you’ll be dead, and you won’t have to worry about a thing.”

“Please don’t eat us,” said Sweetie. “We’re only kids. We haven’t even gotten our cutie marks yet. Please let us go.”

“I can’t let perfectly good ponies go. That’ll be a waste of food, and I’m very hungry,” said the Ogre.

Scootaloo gazed at the fire under the cauldron. She had no idea if the water was boiling, and if it was, they were in deep trouble. She thought of something, anything that will bring out the Ogre’s better nature. She closed her eyes, also blocking Sweetie’s pleas and whimpers. After searching deep within herself Scootaloo opened her eyes.

“Mister Ogre, how about we make a deal?” she said.

“A deal? What can puny ponies like give to me?”

“Well, I was thinking… maybe we can entertain you before we turn into your meals.”

“Entertain me? How so?”

Scootaloo gulped. Hopefully it will work. “Do you like stories? We can tell you stories.” She heard Apple Bloom questioning her actions, and she was immediately silenced. “We have a bunch of stories to tell, we can all tell you some of them.”

“I hate stories, especially pony stories! They’re boring and put me to sleep!” the Ogre spat.

“But ours are not like others,” said Scootaloo. “They’re really good. If each of us can tell you a good story, will you let us go?”

“I can’t make that promise,” the Ogre said. “I found you, and I will eat you. Ogres don’t like to wait for their food.”

“Please,” begged Scootaloo. “We deserve to be eaten, not just yet. We have our whole lives ahead of us. If we can keep you entertained with our stories, and you like them, will you let us go free?”

The Ogre stroked his greasy chin with his thumb and index finger. “I’m not easily entertained, unless someone is dying horribly, and then I eat them.”

Scootaloo gave the Ogre the cutest, pleading eyes she could gave him. He tried to fight it, but it was no use. She was going to keep staring at him until the Ogre made his decision. Finally, he threw his arms in the air.

“Alright. Okay. You three will tell me stories, all of you. If I enjoy all of them, I will let you go. If I do not, you will be thrown into that cauldron.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Scootaloo.

“They better be good… or else.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo questioning and bewildered looks. Scootaloo gave them a reassuring half-smile, but to them it wasn’t reassuring enough. The Ogre dragged a chair and placed in front of the fillies and sat on it, and lighted a pipe, grumbling to himself about making stupid deals with food. The cabin was silent, save for the occasional rumble of thunder and a gust of wind, and a few rain drops on the ceiling. The fillies and the Ogre exchanged unnerving gazes to each other.

“So… who is going first?” he roared. “I don’t have all day!”

The fierceness of his voice started them, and they glanced at each other. It was obvious none of them wanted to go first, but the Ogre was tapping his foot on the wooden floor. “Well?” he said again. The Cutie Mark Crusaders brought their heads together, and the Ogre groaned.

“What do we do? We don’t know any stories,” whispered Sweetie Belle.

“Thanks for getting us eaten,” added Apple Bloom.

“We’re not going to get eaten,” said Scootaloo. “Just make something up, no matter how ridiculous it is. We’ve been through so many things that’ll make for great stories. Just exaggerate a little.”

“I’m not a good storyteller,” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m gonna die,” she cried.

“No you’re not! Just tell the story as you go! It’s easy!”

The fillies looked back at the Ogre, who grew very impatient. With no other choice to be made, Apple Bloom sighed.

“I guess I’ll go first.”

She was silent for a moment. The Ogre said he hated stories because they were boring, so she figured he didn’t want to hear the same ones they have heard, if he hadn’t already. The Ogre stared at her. He seemed interested, but Apple Bloom couldn’t tell. He held his head with his wrist, as in boredom, be he stared at her either way. She pushed down the lump in her throat and continued, and finally began her tale.

“Well… I think I should tell you all about the time me and a armadillo went into the music business.” She couldn’t believe those words came from her lips, but there was no turning back. Make it up as you go, says Scootaloo, she she did. “It all began when he came rolling by the farm one summer afternoon…”

A Trip Into the Woods

Apple Bloom could have sworn they have crossed that oak tree several times already. She was going to tell Scootaloo, but she would deny, so Apple Bloom begrudgingly kept her mouth shut. She and Sweetie kept behind Scootaloo as she led the way through the tall trees. During the long walk Scootaloo would pause to check her map to see if they were going the right way. She wouldn’t consult her friends or asked Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to help her read the directions and symbols. When she believed she knew where to go, she’d point to a random direction and yell, “That way!” and marched.

While Apple Bloom was waiting for the moment for Scootaloo to concede, Sweetie was trying to figure out how she even got herself involved in this. Then she remembered. It had something to do with the map Scootaloo was holding. She said it belonged to a pirate who died hundreds of years ago, that somehow wound up in Rainbow Dash’s possession. Neither did she know where the map was all this time when Scootaloo asked her about it. Still, the thought of finding buried treasure somewhere in Ponyville was something Scootaloo couldn’t get out of her mind, and at the very instant recruited Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Now they were in the woods, walking in circles probably, and worse of all had no idea how to get home. Sweetie heard Apple Bloom groaned angrily, very loudly than the previous times.

Scootaloo held out her arm and the fillies stop. She gazed upward and straight ahead. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle did the same. There was nothing but trees and branches, and the sounds of forest animals making their usual noises. Scootaloo once again consulted her map. It was a dusty old map with markings and pictures like treasure maps had, and ripped at the edges. Scootaloo held it at the sides to keep it straight since it was rolled like a scroll.

“So, where do we go this time?” Apple Bloom asked. There was annoyance in her voice, but Scootaloo didn’t detect it.

Scootaloo looked up. She thought of continuing the path they were on, but there was no more path. Actually, there hadn’t been a path for a few miles now. She looked back at her friends. Apple Bloom impatiently tapped her hoof on the ground and Sweetie just stood there waiting for them to answer each other, and to be filled in with their answer. Scootaloo slowly raised her arm, but she didn’t know which direction to go.

“Um… we go that way,” she said, pointing at a group of trees.

“Are you sure?” Apple Bloom asked. “Because we’ve been at this all day.”

“I’m positive,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

The fillies resumed their walk. They passed more trees and bushes, almost tripped on stones, logs, and sticks that extended from the ground.

Neither of them knew what time it was. Even glancing at the sun wasn’t much help for them. It was one of those times Apple Bloom wish she’d pay attention to her brother and sister whenever they went camping, Macintosh in particular. He was highly respected colt scout during his boyhood and Applejack had a clear sense of direction, unlike her friend Scootaloo. Apple Bloom berated herself for not inviting either of them along. They could have used the help. The confusion grew when she realized Scootaloo never bothered to ask Rainbow Dash to come along. The map belonged to her, didn’t it?

“Scootaloo, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Apple Bloom said. “Why didn’t you ask Rainbow Dash to come with us.”

Scootaloo looked back, but didn’t answer. She gave her a nervous look then shrugged.

“I don’t get it. What are you trying to say?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well… I kind of took it without her permission,” Scootaloo answer.

It was at that moment Apple Bloom decided to stop, with Sweetie doing the same. She cast a glare at Scootaloo.

“You mean to tell me that you stole her map?” said Apple Bloom.

“I didn’t exactly steal it. Rainbow Dash had this map for a long time and she wasn’t going to do anything with it, so I thought I’d put it to good use,” answered Scootaloo.

“But we haven’t found anything yet! We’ve been walking in circles for an eternity! I don’t think this treasure even exist!”

Scootaloo was ready to defend herself. She raised her voice and told Apple Bloom that the pirate treasure did exist; even Rainbow Dash said so herself. However, Apple Bloom wanted to know where exactly did Rainbow Dash find the map. Scootaloo, of course, didn’t know the full details, but defended their quest either way. While they were locked in their argument Sweetie Belle decided to sit down. She blocked out their angry voices by what her older sister, Rarity, would say if she came home. My goodness Sweetie, where have you been? You have been gone all day! I was absolutely worried about you! Oh dear, I was beginning to have dreadful thoughts! It would probably be something like that. Rarity always acted melodramatically when it concerned Sweetie Belle. She remembered the time she bruised her leg and Rarity acted as though it were an open wound. It was only a tiny scratch that required a bandage. It’s what big sisters do, Sweetie thought to herself. Her thoughts vanished when she felt her stomach growl, and she was brought back to reality. Sweetie whistled to get their attention, and they were silent. It was trick she learned from Rarity.

“I’m hungry,” said Sweetie.

“She’s right. All this walking is making me famished,” added Apple Bloom. “Do you have the food, Scootaloo?”

“No. I thought you did.”

Silence reigned upon the fillies once more, which was disrupted by the sounds of the empty bellies. Apple Bloom’s face contorted in anger.

“You said you were going to be responsible for the food!” snapped Apple Bloom.

“No I didn’t! My only responsibility is the map! Besides, you live in an apple farm! You’re the one who should be providing us food!”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were back to arguing again. Sweetie spoke up in an effort to get them stop arguing, but their fiery voices blocked her out. Sweetie noticed that the sky was grew immensely dark. For a moment she thought it was night, meaning they’ll be lost until morning, with their older sisters running across town trying to search for them, until a closer look at the sky revealed to be storm clouds overhead, which was much worse. Again, Sweetie tried to gain the girls’ attention by speaking up about the weather. They only stopped when they heard the low rumbling of thunder.

“It’s going to rain,” said Sweetie. She looked up again. “Very badly.”

“Great, now we’re going to be hungry and wet!” said Apple Bloom.

“Maybe we can shelter under the trees,” suggested Scootaloo.

The thunder grew louder, and Apple Bloom gave her a look. She pushed Scootaloo aside. “From now on, I’m leading the way,” she said. “So put that map away this instant!”

Scootaloo, grumbling under her breath, rolled the map and placed it inside her saddlebag. She slowly marched behind Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle looked at the sky again, which was dark than ever before, and hoped Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash weren’t worried too much about them.

Thunder rolled and the dark clouds hovered above them. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were just waiting for the heavy rain to pour down their heads. Their little stomachs continued to make noises and their legs were becoming weak from the long walk they took. Apple Bloom thought about taking Scootaloo and Sweetie by the arm and turning back once and for all, but she couldn’t remember where they came into the forest. If she had to be honest with herself, even she didn’t know where she was leading them. Apple Bloom didn’t want Scootaloo to lead the way anymore.

Not a moment later the three fillies felt rain drops on their heads. They heard drops pelting on the leaves and the wind shaking the branches.

“Oh great, it’s raining!” Scootaloo yelled. She held her saddlebag closer to protect the map which was inside. “Thanks for nothing, Apple Bloom!”

“How is it my fault that it’s raining?”

“If you would’ve just let me lead the way, then we could have found a place to hide, like a cave or something!”

“There ain’t any caves around here, Scootaloo!”

Another loud roll of thunder made them jump. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom would have picked this time to argue some more, but now their hair and skin were completely drenched in rain water. The Cutie Mark Crusaders covered their heads and ran. Apple Bloom tripped on a large stick and tumbled forward, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. When they picked themselves off the ground they were briefly covered in mud, but the rain washed it away, but it did left stains on their skins.

Heavy water continued to fall from the sky, and the wind threatened to lift them off their hooves. They looked around to see if any leaves were large enough to protect them from the storm, but it came with no success.

“Don’t just stand here, let’s get going!” Scootaloo yelled.

Sweetie groaned as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo yelled back and forth at each other, like they have done all day. She began to wonder what Rarity was doing. Taking shelter at the Carousel Boutique, of course, but was wondering when she’ll return home, Sweetie asked herself. At this very moment was she alerting Applejack and Rainbow Dash that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are missing in this storm? “I knew I should’ve stay home,” she said to herself.

It seemed as though the storm will not stop anytime soon. It was also apparent that they will never find shelter, and they will be lost in the forest for the rest of their lives, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders continued to run. Unfortunately they slipped on the ground and, this time, tumbled downward on a hill, and landed on their faces.

“This day just keeps getting worse and worse,” Apple Bloom said as she wiped the dirt and mud from herself.

“It’s your fault! You should’ve just let me led the way!” said Scootaloo.

“Why won’t you admit it, Scootaloo! You had no idea where you were leading us! I had to take over!”

“And look where we are now!”

As their voices rose once more a crack of thunder started them, then Scootaloo and Apple Bloom proceeded to argue again. Sweetie Belle was increasingly annoyed by their antics, but also upset by their current circumstances. She looked around, but paused when she saw something in close vicinity. “Girls, look!” Sweetie called out, but Apple Bloom and Scootaloo didn’t hear her; it was due to the heavy rain, loud thunder, their arguing, or Sweetie not being loud enough. Whatever the reason it was, she raised her voice as high as she could and called, “Girls look!” The two fillies stopped arguing, their full attention on Sweetie Belle. She pointed to what looked like a little cabin a few yards away. From where they were it was small and squarish, but it was enough for them to speed off toward it. When they arrived at the door Apple Bloom knocked on it several times, calling out for whoever was inside to let them in, but there was no answer.

“I guess we’re gonna have to let ourselves in,” Scootaloo said.

“Are you sure about that? I think that’s considered breaking and entering?” said Sweetie.

“It’s only breaking and entering when there’s somepony inside,” Scootaloo said. “Since their is no one here we’re fine.”

“I’m sure glad you know the finer points of the law,” Apple Bloom said sarcastically.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and gently pushed the door open. The Cutie Mark Crusaders entered inside, then Scootaloo shut the door behind them, and they shook themselves dry. The cabin was very dark, and slightly cold. The wind whistled and the rain pounded the wooden structure. The Crusaders searched the cabin to find a source of light, in the process almost falling on their faces. Sweetie felt a glass object sitting on a low shelf, and realized it was a gas lamp. There was also a box of matches sitting next to the lamp. She placed the lighted match inside the lamp, and the cabin was dimly bright, although they can almost see clearly.

“What do you do now?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Stay here until the rain stops, I guess,” Scootaloo answered.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom’s stomachs alerted them of their emptiness and searched the cabin for food. Scootaloo laid down her saddlebag and took out the map to study it. She knew for sure there had to be treasure in Whitetail Wood. The legend, according to Rainbow Dash, states that One-Eyed Jack, while sailing away from pirates who wanted to kill him, crash his ship on a beach not too far from where they were. He buried it deep into Whitetail Wood, where he thought nopony will ever hoped to find. The hidden treasure chest contained unimaginable riches stolen from civilizations long thought to be lost forever, gold buried safe from enemies during centuries-old conflicts and wars, and some thought to have given to kings and queens from the gods themselves. Decades later the pirates of the Equestrian seas raced themselves to find it until One-Eyed Jack was the winner, then everypony wanted to kill him, even most of his crew. Years later he tried to return to the spot he became very old, and couldn’t see very well, as well as forgetting the simplest things. One-Eyed Jack never found his treasure again and died unfortunately, and his cabin boy gave away the map, believing it was useless, which was passed around from pony to pony for generations. Although the Cutie Mark Crusaders were in Whitetail Wood, Scootaloo had no idea if they were close or far from the treasure. But, due to her pride, she didn’t want to tell her friends that.

Scootaloo gazed out the window beside her, and much to her annoyance seeing the rain was pouring heavily, not wanting to stop. It seemed as though the force of nature wasn’t going to let them out. Scootaloo hated feelings like that.

“We searched all over the cabin and couldn’t find anything,” Sweetie Belle said. She rubbed her stomach as it growled like a hungry beast. “I’m starving,” she whined.

“Once the rain stops we’re going home,” Apple Bloom said.

“But we can’t leave!” said Scootaloo. “I think we’re near the treasure! I just know it!”

“There ain’t any treasure and there never will be! This has got to be the worst idea for a trip into the woods you ever had! I can’t believe you; getting us lost, wet, and hungry! Wait until I tell Applejack on you!”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged heated words , pointed hooves at each other to pass of the blame of whose fault it was that they were in this situation. Apple Bloom commented how their sisters will be angry at them for not returning home in time, but Scootaloo only raised her voice. Sweetie tried to stand between them to break up the argument, but she turned her head when she heard something coming from another room.

“Girls, quiet!” she tried to say, but neither of them didn’t heed her warning. Sweetie turned her head when she heard the noise again, and this time it was approaching fast. “Girls, quiet!” Sweetie said loudly.

“What is it? What do you want?” Scootaloo asked, annoyed.

“Listen!”  Sweetie answered.

Footsteps pounded the wooden floor, sending loud creaks and squeaks into the dark, cold air. Somepony in the shadows groaned like a lion who had just awakened from its slumber. Whoever was approaching sent an evil chill to the spines of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They huddled together, fully not prepared for what was to come. “What’s happening?” stammered Scootaloo, but the fillies were too afraid to speak. They whimpered when whoever it was that walked toward them revealed itself in the dim light cast by the lamp. The ugly creature toward over them, with large green hands and feet. His face was that of a deformed warthog with black hair that went down to the back of his neck. The monster carried a fat belly and a foul stenched that followed him wherever he went. He slowly turned its head left and right, trying to find the intruders. Then the monster’s large, snot-filled nose sniffed the air, then brought his yellow eyes to the three fillies that cowered under him.

“I smell ponies,” he growled. The monster sniffed again. “Three little ponies. What are three little ponies doing in my house?”

“Please, mister monster, sir,” Apple Bloom stammered. “We didn’t mean to break into her house. It was raining and we needed to find someplace to get away until it stopped… and we were hungry, too. Please don’t hurt us.”

The monster, who around this part of Whitetail Wood was called the Ogre, didn’t respond.

“Please? I’m pretty sure you’re a nice monster and all, so will you let us go?” asked Apple Bloom a second time.

“You entered an ogre’s house without his permission,” the Ogre growled. “Nobody ever enters an ogre’s house, not even puny ponies.”

The Ogre turned his back to grab something. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were too petrified to move. When the Ogre turned back he carried rope in its large green hands.

“And those who enters an ogre’s house without his permission… gets eaten!” he snarled.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, finally realizing the danger they were in, moved quickly for the door, but the Ogre put a firm and inescapable grip on them inside his palms. He laughed wickedly as the fillies cried, pleaded, and begged to be let go. He tied rope around their limbs and placed them in a corner. He laughed again and went into another room, probably to fetch for supplies. The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged fearfully glances at each other. Normally Apple Bloom and Scootaloo would have passed the blame on each other at this moment, but now there was only silence.