Author's Note
I probably could have done better.
Meh.
Bat Ponies Are Scary
Flash Sentry was groaning loudly.
As was tradition.
“You know, whining about it isn’t going to change things.” His partner replied neutrally, the other pegasi having his head skyward in thought.
“Are you sure? Didn’t Sky Song do the same thing last year?” Flash insisted, having to raise his voice slightly over the crowd of ponies that the duo were navigating through, the unusual swell of bodies a different sight than what was normally expected this time of day.
“I think he actually had to get his stomach pumped. Something about his daughter wanted to be a candy maker or something. Guess it didn’t work out too well.” Despite Standout not attempting to sound humorous, the dry way he spoke caused Flash to grin for a moment despite his mood, lightening the atmosphere around the two.
“Still got out of it though, didn’t he?” The orange pegasus smirked, raising an eyebrow at his partner.
“Supposedly his last words had been ‘worth it’ before the medics carried him off.” Standout’s eyes briefly flicked toward Flash, their blank look almost questioning.
Almost.
“You planning on something similar?” He asked, the pegasus moving just a tad closer to the other pony as the crowd around them became just a somewhat thicker, the throng almost constricting before a side street up ahead relieved some of the flow.
Flash looked up, his eyes immediately landing on the dozens of banners and streamers that crisscrossed the rooftops above them, the dark black patches of color standing out well with brighter oranges and reds that intermixed to form various depictions of spooky faces and images that set imaginations of fillies and colts alike running wild.
Honestly, if he was being truthful, Flash didn’t hate Nightmare Night.
He hated Arbor day.
With a passion.
But that was a different story.
No, Flash Sentry didn’t have a problem with Nightmare Night per say. Honestly, when you got right down to it, it was a rather nice shift down from the normal stoic and straightforward atmosphere the royal guard usually had, the stallions stationed at the front gates even supplied with a fat helping of candy for any foals that happened to pass by.
Because, really, it wasn’t like foals were going to pass by the castle gates.
For candy.
Supplied by the crown.
That wasn’t a healthy alternative some ponies had decided to give out.
Because really, that’s what children wanted.
Truly.
Reports indicated even one year a colt was seen dragging off a chocolate bar by his teeth, the candy several times larger than the young pony was.
And there was also simply slanderous rumors going around that the guards charged with giving out the candy were happening to stick their hooves in the candy jar.
Simply outrageous.
No, if anything, Nightmare Night was a rare occasion for the normally prim and proper city to let lose for a few days, the crown, the guard, the aristocratic, hell even the nobility joined in on the festivities.
With the holiday having remote influence in the larger cities and more appreciated in the smaller backwater towns of Equestria, it quickly grew in popularity following the recent return of Princess Luna, the alicorn all but declaring it her own.
This in turn, seemed to cause a wave of new interest in the celebration, more and more ponies going out of their way to set the mood in their towns, a sort of unspoken rivalry beginning to pop up from house to house, street to street, and city to city.
So of course, Canterlot had to get in on the action.
From immaculate trimmed lawns turned into spooky graveyards to hedgerows covered in the thickest spider webs, Nightmare Night was the one holiday were the nobility actually wanted people to visit them.
And it was in no way another excuse to one up each other in those petty contests that only rich ponies like them cared about.
Really, the holiday was for the children! Perish the thought.
On that note, Flash made a mental note to visit that guy Fancy Pants’ house after his shift. He always gave out the best stuff, though his joke about how brave he looked in that guard armor lost its humor after about five seconds.
Two years ago.
And that was what brought Flash full circle to the reason he was in his mood in the first place.
His shift tomorrow night.
On Nightmare Night.
At night.
The night many claimed that if you ended up surviving, you would be remembered for forever immortal.
Or so the legends say.
“I’m thinking of bruising my wing. Think that will get me out?” Flash replied, the deep tan pony next to him humming in thought.
“Unlikely. I heard last year they had a guy with two broken forelegs managing the mess hall. Cast and all.”
Flash grimaced.
“I heard the same thing, though I thought it was the hind?” His partner could only shrug, his disinterested look cast forward as he walked.
“Wanna trade with me? I’ll make it up to you?” The orange pegasus grinned sheepishly at Standout, who immediately turned a piercing stare at his co-patriot, his grey eyes peering into Flash’s soul.
The private began to sweat underneath his golden armor as the gaze seemed to see all the misdeeds the pony had done.
That time he stole a jar of pickles from the store.
That time he had spilled armor polish in the barracks and in his attempt to clean it up blamed it on the janitor.
The ninety year old two weeks from retirement janitor.
That time he was worst pony.
Standout’s look couldn’t have lasted more than a few moments, the other pony returning his attention back ahead and giving Flash a small breather before he decided to speak.
“They put super-glue inside all the morning shifts helmets.” Standout stated blankly.
Flash blinked.
‘That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“They added extra strength itching powder to the glue. The screams could be heard halfway across the castle. The sergeant on duty found most of the recruits curled up on the floor, passed out.”
The color on Flash’s face drained instantly.
“And no one had pranked them beforehand? I thought we weren’t supposed to fire the first shot!”
“Guess they’re upping their ‘low key’ pranks.” Standout shrugged.
“Celestia why.”
And this, was the reason Flash had been groaning. Because, come Nightmare Night and the days preceding and proceeding it, the night guard went on an all out prank war with the day guards.
Originally, it had started out as a simple exercise in relieving tensions between thestrals and other ponies after the bad blood with the whole nightmare moon incident.
It had worked out pretty well in theory, everyone throws a couple of light hearted pranks at one another and everyone gets a few laughs out of it.
It was supposed to be that way.
Instead, it turned into a slaughter.
Figuratively of course.
During the first year, the pranks had barely occurred on the first day, no worse than missing toilet paper in bathroom stalls with a note saying ‘Where is your princess now?”. Simple things. Nothing overly excessive.
Then someone had got the brilliant idea to place a whoopee cushion underneath the night guard captains’ seat at the mess hall. One would think the laid back, snarky, and smooth talking mare could take a joke or two right?
Ha ha-WRONG.
They should have known something was up when the mare let the whoopee cushion complete its long exhale, the entire time the remaining day guard from the earlier shift trying to hold back their laugher.
And failing.
They should have known when her blank expression didn’t change throughout the event, even when she pushed away from the table with a metallic screech, her metal stool scraping against the floor.
They should have known when the other thestrals around her didn’t say a word as she calmly exited the mess hall, leaving behind the snickering day guard stallions.
Well, they knew next morning.
They found all their armor covered in glitter.
Pink glitter.
With little flowery cut outs.
That wouldn’t come off.
It took the new captain weeks to find a cleaner that would remove it all. Oh Celestia those weeks. Flash shivered.
Now, it was an unspoken rule to leave the night guard alone, and hopefully, hopefully, they would keep their pranks at a minimum.
So far this year, that looked to be a moot point.
But that wasn’t the worst part out of all the mess. No.
You see, the night guard needed a little bit of extra help in running the palace during Nightmare Night, often because Princess Luna would bring a large entourage of thestrals to the city she was visiting that year, leaving gaps in the ranks.
Gaps that, Princess Celestia, bless her soul, was more than happy to fill with her own ranks.
Some say it’s blessing to be hoof picked by the princess.
Others say it’s a curse.
Some take a shot because of it.
Flash was planning on hitting the whole bottle.
Because, low and behold, he had been hoof-picked to be on duty with the rest of the night guard.
A night guard made up of thestrals.
Prank pulling thestrals.
The prognosis was not good.
Flash gulped and felt a hard lump go down his throat.
“Heh. Well. I don’t know about you, but I’m going down fighting.” He didn’t stammer at all during that.
Not at all.
“I’ll speak at your funeral.”
Standout was an ass.
The pegasus felt an unusual feeling of challenge rise up inside him, his mouth moving before his brain could catch up.
“Yeah? Wanna bet I make it through the night untouched?” Flash challenged, sporting a grin. His partner only raised an eyebrow at him.
“Untouched? You’re crazy.”
The heat built again, and Flash Stalwart Sentry didn’t earn his name for nothing. Well, technically he didn’t earn it, but semantics.
“I bet you a full round of drinks I can make it out of the castle without so much a hair out of place.” He smugly grinned at Standout, who seemed to mull it over.
“And if you come out wearing the princess’ socks, I get drinks?” The private momentarily lost his fire, knowing that the other pony consumed an alcohol at a much higher strength and cost than himself, meaning he would be risking more than he would get in return.
Still, backing out now would make him look like a bitch.
And aint nopony callin Flash Sentry a bitch.
“Deal.” Flash stopped, jutting out his right hoof at his partner, who after a moment, shook it worryingly.
The two continued walking in silence for a few moments after that, the crowd’s background noise keeping things from becoming too awkward.
Eventually, Standout looked over to him.
“So. How are ya gonna do it?”
Flash puffed out his chest, smiling broadly.
“You let me worry about that.”
And in truth, Flash was worrying about it.
A lot.
Because this entire thing could end in two ways.
Either come morning he left the castle unscathed.
Or he’d be dead.
Either way, he wasn’t paying for drinks.
So basically a win win.
It was a much more challenging event getting to the castle than Flash expected. Sure, he knew there was going to be a lot of foals and their parents out on Nightmare Night, but by Celestia these kids wanted candy.
Several times he had to move out of the way of roving bands of fillies and colts dressed up in this or that costume, the wild foals seemingly devouring everything in their path.
He for the most part ignored them, until a passing child took note of his own costume, the child’s eyes lighting up at the extent Flash had gone to this year.
Sure, he had dressed up before for Nightmare Night, but never for an actual shift. But this year, it seemed…
Appropriate.
Question mark.
He tried to not get too stalled by the children that would admire his costume and ask how long it took to make it and if he had real wings and a multitude of other questions he didn’t have time to explain why he didn’t have time to explain.
Eventually, he made his way up toward the castle gates, all the while careful to not rub on his armor too much, lest he remove the paint that now covered over its original gold polish.
He licked his lips and momentarily popped out the fake teeth he had to relieve his parched mouth, before quickly sticking the plastic toy back in.
He didn’t expect much when he first approached the drawbridge to the castle, the stallions guarding the suspension too busy handing out candy to a throng of children to notice him approach.
However, their practiced ears were soon able to pick out his hoof steps over the rambunctious noises of the children, the four stallions guarding the way looking up almost simultaneously.
Each immediately stopped what they were doing as they eyed him approaching, their widened eyes never once leaving him. Some literally stopped mid movement, one guard pouring an entire bucket of candy into a more than happy filly’s bag, much to the outcry of those behind her.
Flash grinned despite the looks, though the stallions made no move to stop or even acknowledge him, just staring at him, mouths agape.
One even completely toppled over and collapsed, stiff as a board.
That was a good sign.
Clearly.
He passed over the bridge without incident, walking underneath the castle walls and into the courtyard proper, though not before he could have sworn someone called out from the ramparts, “Dead pony walkin!”.
That was a confidence booster.
Surely.
Flash ruffled his wings slightly, flapping them a few times before once again drawing them back to his sides, the wrappings on them feeling a lot more constricting than they did earlier.
He thought about how this was going.
He thought he may have miscalculated.
Well…
Shit.
Flash gulped, but continued to press on.
If he was going to die, he might as well die with some dignity.
Which, now on that thought, miiiiiight be very little.
Somewhat mercifully, the guards that happened to be stationed at his particular entranceway into one of the many castle hallways happened to be a couple of day guards, their bodies stiffening as he approached.
As he got closer though, they seemed to relax somewhat, before he finally came close enough that his costume couldn’t hold up to greater scrutiny.
“Dude. What are you doing.” Background guard number one whispered harshly.
“Are you serious? They’re going to eat you alive. Probably literally.” Background guard number two spoke up as well.
Flash tried to laugh off their seriousness, though it quickly faded at their unwavering looks.
“Guys, it’s all in good fun right?” He asked jokingly.
“I used to have fun. Then I took an arrow to the knee.” Background guard two replied neutrally.
…
Flash didn’t really have a comeback for that.
He chose to walk past the duo guarding the hallway, entering deeper into the castle’s interior and to his assigned position.
Behind him, sad harmonica music could be heard echoing from where he had passed the last guards.
Everything was relatively quiet until he walked around a corner to find several night guards chatting amongst themselves, their purple armor shining in the moonlight that penetrated through the large windows of the palace.
Two were turned away from him, facing a third who had his helmet off, the trio calmly discussing something out of earshot. The stallion that was facing his direction didn’t pay too much attention until he got closer, the thestral looking up for a brief moment before returning to his companions.
Then his gaze shot up again, and his eyes widened.
Well.
Here it comes.
Flash neared the group, calmly keeping his pace as he came up to them, the others turning around to see what had caught their friend’s attention.
All of them became rather quiet.
Flash smiled against the odds.
“Hey, how’s it going? Lovely Nightmare Night right?” He said offhanded as he passed them. No other replies coming as the three night guards stared in shock at him, and if he was a professional lip reader, was sure one mouthed something that was definitely not said in polite company.
He felt a cold sweat break out.
Well.
This had backfired tremendously.
Why did he think of this?
Why’d his brain think of this?
Stupid brain, he was dead. His brain had killed him.
Maybe he could find some nice janitor's closet to hold up in for the rest of the night.
So lost was he in his thoughts that he quickly came upon his guard station for the night, a mare’s voice calling out to him.
“Hey Flash! They’re you are! What took you so long? You’re late!”
Oh no.
Flash gulped.
Checkmate.
Game over.
Finito.
Flash looked up from the floor to spot the mare down the hallway waving toward him, the bright yellow light from the royal kitchens doorway illuminating her standard issue night guard gear. The ashen grey coat of the thestral was still easily spotted against the dim light of the hallway, though the two toned electric red and white of her mane made her stand out almost comically. Without a helmet, the mare's ruby eyes gazed out at him.
His partner, Peppermint, had officially spotted him.
…
His partner, Peppermint, a thestral, had officially spotted him.
…
When was going home not an option?
“Heh, so hey, are you ready…for…tonight?” Peppermint’s happy if not playful tone quickly began to die down as Flash approached, having only picked him out due to his striking orange coat color against the darker corridor.
Flash smiled awkwardly, choosing to ignore her comment for the moment as he calmly moved to stand on the opposite side of the doorway to the kitchens, the glow of yellow light the only thing separating the two. He didn't dare look at her.
Peppermint didnt said anything as he took up position, only looking up and down at him, taking in his entire appearance.
From his purple armor that appeared to have some paper mache additions to it.
To the combed out tufts now on top of his ears.
To the wrappings along his wings that made it look like a bat.
And by the way he smiled sheepishly at her, revealing his teeth, and in turn, the plastic fangs he was sporting.
Bat pony was not amused.
“Flash?” Peppermint asked, her tone sweet.
He gulped. “Yeah Peppermint?”
“What are you wearing?”
He gulped again.
Well. Little late to turn back now.
“My…Nightmare Night costume?” He grinned at her blank look.
“Your…Nightmare Night costume.” She seemed to roll the words on her tongue, trying to process them.
“Yep.”
Yep.
…
Yep.
The Sentries were not known for their elegance.
The two stood in silence for a moment, Flash still staring straight ahead at the wall before him and not daring to look his partner in the eye, even though he could see she was still looking straight at him.
“Flash. What are you saying?”
“Huh?”
Bravo Flash.
Answer of the year award.
“What are you saying?” Peppermint repeated again, looking at him with slitted, narrowed eyes.
“Uh…I don’t know-“
“Yeah Flash, what are you sayin?” A voice spoke to his left, shocking the pegasus and making him jump slightly to the right where he whirled to find another thestral standing directly beside him.
The dark grey coated bat pony looked at him with piercing eyes, Flash breaking out in another sweat.
Honestly at this point dieing of dehydration sounded pretty good.
“Yeah, you were saying?” The private jumped again, this time backward at the mare in front of him, who glared angrily at his teeth.
Then he bumped into something.
Something big.
And tall.
And scary.
“The fuck you sayin Flash?” A deep, rumbling voice spoke above him, by a thestral that he had to crane his neck back to look him in the eye.
A voice that frankly, sounded like it was about to get its murder on.
Suddenly more voices, all around him started to shout at him. The pegasus soon realized he was surrounded by an angry group of bat ponies.
Which, is frankly not good for one’s health.
“Yeah! Aren’t foals supposed to dress up as monsters for Nightmare Night?!”
“So what? Thestrals are monsters?”
“Oh no everyone look! It’s a thestral! Run for it!”
“What are you saying Flash!”
“Yeah, what are you saying!?”
Flash tried to focus and answer, but the onslaught of questions soon became too much, each angrily shouting face making it impossible to reply, finally though, the dam burst.
“It was a prank!” He shouted, catching everyone off guard as he looked around wildly at them. Each was momentarily stunned silent, before finally...
They all burst out laughing.
Like, several collapsed on the floor dying laughter.
Flash.exe had stopped working.
Even the giant of a pony behind him was slapping him on the back.
Either that or he was actually trying to murder him and Flash was hallucinating from the pain.
But, semantics.
Even when he looked to Peppermint wide eyed, he found that she too was trying to fight back her laughter and losing.
“S-Sorry Flash, after you showed up like that…we had to!”
The private’s brain tried to restart.
“This was all…a…a…”
“A prank, yeah.” A thestral mare finished for him, her dusty amethyst mane making her stand out against her helmeted subordinates.
“Sorry kid. When ya dress like that, ponies gonna get the wrong idea. But we can handle a joke right?!” The mare challenged, to which more laugher broke out.
Flash, out of exhaustion, joined the thestrals in laughing as well.
Eventually though, the laughing died down, and the night captain called out to everyone.
“Alright. Alright. Jokes over, back to your positions!” She ordered, the throng dispersing quietly and quickly in different directions.
Though not before Flash got several ‘light’ pats on the back.
“Good one Flash!”
“Not bad!”
“I’ll have to try that next year!”
Flash just smiled and nodded, despite being an emotional wreck inside.
As most of the other ponies headed away, the night guard captain approached him, placing a hoof on his shoulder.
“Hey kid, that was pretty good I admit. Surprised all of us you did, that’s for sure. That took balls, and I respect that. Not everyday somepony out pranks a thestral. But private…”
She carefully leaned next to his left ear, her breath making the hair on his neck rise.
“Do this ever again and I’ll string you up by your hind legs and leave you in the mess hall.”
Her voice was like ice.
Flash began to shake.
“Pfft. Kidding!” The captain pulled away laughing, causing him to simply grin uneasily. He watched her walk away, though just as she was about to turn the corner, her head whipped back to him, her gaze piercing and narrow.
“Not kidding.” She mouthed to him.
With that, she turned the corner.
Flash Sentry collapsed in the hallway, a faint whine escaping him.
All the while, Peppermint whistled a soft tune beside him.
The next night, Flash Sentry got blitzed off his ass.
Standout helped.
