Discord's Bored

by LazyPone

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex
Length: 8205

The title pretty much says it all. But Discord spreads his usual from of chaos in a more... indirect way.

Alright, so, what do you get when you mix a bored Discord, a human, and a little bit of chaotic magic? C'mon, I think you know what happens....

Well, to be honest, it's not as much as anyone would expect, since this little fic takes place after Discord's reformation. So no checkerboard landscapes anytime soon.

But... high jinks are still liable.

(Sex tag for lewd dialogue)

Published 2016-11-03 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-30 08:35:42 UTC

When Forces Collide

It was a normal day in the quiet little town of Ponyville. The ponies were doing whatever it is they do in their daily lives. Foals ran around playing games. Even some mares and stallions were having fun.

And this… irked, a certain spirit.

This was boring. Too boring. The reformed mish-mash of animal parts was almost bored out of his mind. Almost.

Sure, he could always have a nice little spot of tea with Fluttershy. But, he really didn't feel up to it today.

Well, he could talk to his old friend The Smooze. Ever since the Gala, the two really haven’t talked much. Not that he didn’t want too. He just never really… got around to doing it; he kept putting it off.

But anyway. We’re derailing the carriage here.

So, Discord is bored, there is not a thing to do for entertainment. Well, not on this planet anyway.

*I think I know just how to make things fun around here.* He thought to himself right before he fazed out of this plain of existence.

Richard was not having a good day. In fact, he could say today was the second worst day of his life. The first place spot being taken by that time he went to the REAL Mexico. Yeah, no one wants to talk about that.

Anywho, the reason behind Richard’s terrible day could be something everyone can relate to, in some way; his fall into the friendzone. Yes, that terrible, absolutely emotional shattering experience of being shoved into that zone. It especially didn’t help that him and his used to be special someone had been dating for quite a while. Her reasoning was just spot on as well. She admitted she was only going out with Richard because she somewhat felt bad for him.

Quite the blow to his already weakened ego.

So all he could do at this point would either be skulk around, or mope around.

But anyway, that doesn't matter right now. What really matters is how he didn’t notice the world froze around him. It took him a minuted and running into a frozen stranger to realize what’s going on.

“Oof!” He grunted as he bumed into the still person. “Sorry, didn’t see ya there.” He said as he quickly got back up and addressed the person he bumped into. And did a double-take when he noticed the women hadn’t moved a single muscle. She was somehow frozen mid-step in her walk to somewhere. “Uh… Miss?” He asked, waving a hand in front of her face. Getting no form of response. He gave up pretty quickly and started looking around; the cars on the road, the other people walking around, even a bird was sitting in mid-air, it wings paused mid-flap. “The hell..?”

“It seems you have finally notice your surroundings. I swear, I was about to tell you myself!” A voice echoed about the area.

“What? Who's there?” Richard asked while looking around. He couldn't find the source of the voice.

“Right behind you...” He heard right in his left ear. The sudden feeling of someone behind Richard made him jumped, let out the manliest yelp of all time, and spin around to face whoever just spoke.

Richard wasn't prepared what he saw. He really wasn't prepared to see a real-life chimera two feet away from him.

“I think that’s putting a bit mildly...” Discord said when he waved a paw in front of Richard’s face. Getting no reactions from the human in the process. “Maybe I should've gone with a more subtle approach.” He started stroking his beard when Richard when he began to regain his senses.

“D-discord?” Richard managed to stutter.

“Oh? You know who I am? Moi?” Discord asked while daintily putting the very tips of his taloned hand on his chest.

“Uuuh...” Richard’s voice wavered a bit. “Y-yes..?”

“Ooh! How flattering! And here I thought no human would know of me!” He smiled, but then, Discord wondered; how does this human know about him? “Pray tell… How is it that you know who I am?” The human froze a bit. In Richard’s mind, how does Discord not know about the whole ‘TV show’ thing? Isn’t he, like, able to go to different universes n’ stuff?

“Uh… Well...” Discord raised one of his bushy eyebrows, showing a little bit of impatience. “Uh… You see… there’s this… TV show...”

“‘Tee... Vee... show?”

“Y-yeah. Uh… it’s about your freind Fluttershy-”

“What about my friend?” Discord asked a dangerous tone.

“Nothing bad! I swear!” Richard said. “The show’s just about the adventures she and her friends went on. Nothing else!” Richard closed his eyes, waiting for whatever the draconequus was going to do to him for revealing such information. At first, nothing happened, not physically anyway. Richard heard snickering and opened his eyes. He saw Discord snickering behind his paw, which turned into full-blow guffaws when Discord saw the confused look on Richard’s face.

“The look on your face! Simply priceless!” Discord said when he had enough air in his lungs. He also wiped a tear forming on his eyes, while at the same time noticing the confused look on the human’s tiny face. “Oh, my apologies, human. Of course I know about this little… TV show you and your… friends, watch.” He smiled. Giving Richard a good view of the spirit’s shark-like teeth. “Now, before we continue, it has come to my attention that I do not know your name.” Discord looked at the human expectantly.

“Oh! It’s Richard. My name’s Richard.” Richard responded.

“Splendid! A pleasure to meet you Richard!” Discord said while presenting a paw. To which Richard took in a hand-to-paw shake. “Now, pleasantries aside, do you know why I am here?”

“Uh… to cause chaos?” Richard hesitantly answered.

“In a sense… yes. But not here.” Richard raised a brow at that. “You see. It has gotten extremely boring back in Equestria.” Discord explained with a disdain sniff. “And being the reformed Draconequus that I am. It would do me great pain if I were to spread a lovely bit of chaos directly, for it would break my poor little Fluttershy’s heart.” He theatrically put the back of his talon to his forehead in a ‘woe-is-me’ pose. “So, I got to thinking; if I can’t have fun directly, who’s to say I can’t do it indirectly?” Discord said, finishing with an almost sinister grin.

“Wait… so...” Richard started. Much to Discord’s dismay, it seems this human is a little bit slow. “You… you want me to be ,like, an avatar, or something?”

“I wouldn’t use that word per say. That would imply that you are the Spirit of Chaos, which is my title. No… you would be more of an… an apprentice, yes. An apprentice!” He cheered. “Yes! I can teach you the ways of disharmony!” Discord cackled. But, he caught himself after realized what he just said. “Ahem, without going overboard, at least.”

“Uh… Ok…” Richard didn't quite know how to take this, but one serious question flew to the forefront of his jumbled mind. “But… What about my life here? Am I gonna spend the rest of my life in Equestria?” The question caught the chimera off guard, but Discord was able as ever to answer such a simple question.

“There is a good reason why everything around us seems to be frozen in time.” He gave Richard a few seconds to let his words sink in. “I because everything is! And you don't have to worry about a thing! As soon as we’ve had our fun -however long that may be, I will personally bring you back to this very spot. It'll be as if nothing ever happened!”

“Ok… But what about me, like, getting older or something?”

“Oh… That'll be taken care of as well. I am something short of a god.” Discord said with a smirk. “So, what do you say? Niegh, or yay?” He said while holding out his lion paw.

Richard thought about this admittedly very tempting offer; meet the characters of his third favorite show? How could someone not flat-out take the offer by the horns?

Although, this is Discord that's presenting the offer. There could be some kind of catch or condition behind it. But, he did just kinda confirm his reformation when he talked about Fluttershy, so it can't be that bad, right?

Well, Richard reasoned there can't be too much of a risk, so he made his decision almost too easily.

“Deal!” He shook Discord’s paw.

“Excellent!” The furry snake cheered. “Let us begin then!” He snapped his talons and the both of them wrapped into Discord’s house, in his personal dimension. The short-lived, sudden shift of gravity that comes with traveling via wermholes disoriented Richard for a bit. But it was nothing too detrimental, that belong to true teleportation.

“Welcome to Casa de Me!” Discord said with an absolute ~~gay~~ fantastic wave of his arms. “Please, make yourself as comfortable as possible!” He said. Richard saw a single seat chair and sat in it. He quickly discovered Discord was speaking literally, the chair felt as if it was made out of the rocks you see used as rock walls. Basically; not the most comfortable chair he’s been on. Discord took the much wider, much more comfy-looking couch.

“First thing’s first, if you really want to begin running around in Equestria. You must create, and design, your very own original character. Or OC, as you humans call them.” The reject platypus snapped his talons again. And what looks like an antique architect's desk with a decent-sized touch-screen materialized in front of Richard.

“Wait, why can’t I just go as myself?” Richard asked.

“Tisk tisk tisk.” Discord chuckled. “Have you forgotten what happens when a human enters Equestria? Especially when they meet a certain pistachio-colored mare.”

“Pistachio? What..?” Richard paused for a second, then paled when he realized who Discord was talking about. “Oh! Right, Lyra… Uh, thanks.”

“Not a problem my friend.” Discord smirked. “Oh! And one more thing, when design your new body, I recommend keeping it on all-fours.” Richard nodded and turned focused on the screen.

Design your OC! A title appeared. A start button appeared on the center. Richard pressed it and a classic character design layout filled the screen. Except, it had to be thee most detailed character design menu he’s ever seen. There were multiple, separate tabs. But the ‘Body Shape’ tab was highlighted. Richard tapped it and a scroll-along list of body shapes and types. From the acid-blooded alien, to the four-fingered Navi. The list seemed endless. It was a little daunting, but it did help a little that the right side of the screen showed a preview of what exactly the base would be. But, the drawback was… well… some names, Richard couldn’t read. But, he soldiered on.

...

Richard eventually found a body shape he liked. Though, it was a tough choice; he didn’t want to be dismantled as a robot, so no Wall-E. But, there was a Stitch lookalike. At least, the silhouette looks like Stitch from the movies. It turns out that it was, so with that in mind, Richard chose this body shape. A pop-up window appeared and asked Are you sure? Press OK to finalize your selection. To which Richard pressed the OK button after a second of thought. The list disappeared, being replaced by multiple tabs. Each tab revolved around customizing the body; physical features, jewelry, clothing, fur, skin, or other patterns. Huh, there was even a choice to replace the skin with chitin. But Richard decided against that option, he liked having skin at that moment. He began by designing a fur pattern, having chosen to keep the color varying shades of a soft orange.

Richard decided to have the base color regular orange, with darker spots littering the body like the Target™ dog in those old commercials. Then he added horizontal stripes along the cheeks. Next thing added where three large ovals along the back. And the antenna had dark orange tips. And finally, a marigold underbelly. A nice alien body, if Richard were to toot his own horn.

Next thing Richard did was body modification. He added the two extra arms like Stitch, how he would conceal them like the alien did, he would hopefully find out later. Anyway, the only thing he really think he could add were the extra arms, he always wanted to know what four arms would feel like. He thought about adding wings instead, but, would they look right on this kind of body? Nah… at least, to Richard, they wouldn’t so he stuck to four arms.

But, at was at this moment, he kept a biped body.

He mentally cursed himself for making such a mistake, but in retrospect, it really didn’t matter. For as long as he looks nothing like a human, he’s good.

Anyway, now was the… ‘Special Abilities’? Hmm…

Oh! It’s basically a long-ass list of superpowers!

Richard took his time looking through the long list, only having four to choose from. But, these powers weren’t really spectacular. But Enhanced Healing Factor caught his eye. And turns out, there was a description. Which detailed: “Complete regeneration of any lost limb, including head, and immunity to disease. It only insured these two buffs, but it was more than enough.

Richard chose that one as his first special ability.

The next one to catch his fancy was something called Environmental Adaptation. And the description of this ability basically said that, if Richard were to choose this one, he’d be able to adapt and live in any kind of environment. Even a nuclear environment. That one was an easy add to the his list.

The third ability he choose was Immobility, its description describing a being as an immovable object. For sure he going to use the ability to mess with a certain pony, maybe more.

The fourth, and final, special ability that Richard instantly choose when he saw it was… Bullet Time, meaning he would be able to slow down his perception of time. Or rather, he could focus so that, to him, time slows to a near standstill. Like Max Payne, in the games.

Then next tab Richard switched to wear accessories. Which he really didn't spend much time on. Being simple-minded as far as fashion goes. He put pair of blue jeans, a white T-shirt under a red, blue, white, and green plaid shirt. With a hat and a pair of blue-tinted wayfarer sunglasses. You know, those glasses that Domo thing wears that gives it a nerdy look? Yeah, those, but as sunglasses. And he forewent shoes since the body came with paw pads, like a dog’s paws.

But, now that the major details were done, Richard moved onto more minor details… such as height. Or claw length…

“Discord?”

“zzzZZ- Hmm?” Discord picked his head up off the floor. “Oh. You’re done I presume?” Richard. “Perfect! Let me have a look-see.” Discord teleported to end up right next to Richard. He examined the product of Richard’s labor. He was expecting something like himself; a body that screams chaos.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Instead, Discord saw an absolutely adorable creature. Well, to Fluttershy, it’d be adorable. Discord doesn’t see the cuteness, nope. He does not.

“Why with this design, if you don’t mind me asking?” Discord asked.

“To make myself not look like a threat.” Richard answered. “What’s the point of causing chaos if the ponies knew it was me? In my opinion. I’d rather be anonymous when doing it.” Discord was shocked from this. He did not expect that from this human.

“Oh, we’re going to be best friends before this is all over.”

Author's Note

So, yeah. New fic. Another idea that wouldn't leave my empty damn head.

Anyway, likes, favorites, and comments are always appreciated!

The Second one

“I look forward to being friends with you as well.” Richard said. “So… Uh… When do we start?”

“Right now, actually.” Discord snapped his talons. And the world went black.

Richard groaned as he came too. It felt like something hit him in the back of head. Only, without the pain, just a dull throbbing was present. He opened his eyes quickly though, remembering what transpired before he blacked out. He sat up when he realized he was lying down. He found himself in the middle of a field.

“Welcome to Equestria!” Discord said. He appeared on Richard's right side. Richard jumped up to his feet, or rather, paws now, with excitement. As being in such a magical land could have that affect. “But, before we continue, would you like to change your name?”

“Uh… Why would I want to change my name?” Discord raised a brow. Giving Richard this look the asked ‘Really?’.

“It would appear that I happen to know the shortened version of your name.”

“Oh… Oh! Right! Uh… Rick. Yeah, I'm gonna change it to Rick.”

“Very well. Oh! And one last, last thing; what approach do you want to take? Would you like a blunt arrival? Or would you prefer a rather sneaky entrance?” Rick thought about that for a minute, stroking the fur under his chin. The action eliciting an exhilarating feeling.

“Actually… I was thinking I could start causing mayhem before anybody knows me.” Discord blankly gazed at Rick, he then let out a shrill squeaking noise while clapping like a little school girl.

“Oh, you are just full of surprises. Alright then off you go! Arrivederci!” Discord said right before he disappeared in a pink cotton candy cloud. Which then flew off in a random direction. Leaving Rick to find out how to activate his abilities, including his hidden arms.

“Great…” Rick sighed, he really needed to ask Discord how he could use bullet time and the other stuff. “Well.. It shouldn't be that hard to find out…” Rick decided to start with bullet time. He thought it could as simple as thinking about time slowing down. So he sat there for a few minutes, thinking about time slowing down. He was about to give up when he heard something.

You know that sound you hear in, say, one of those 'Slow Mo Guys' videos. That sound when the video slows down? Yeah, Rick just heard that noise. It sort of startled him, making him lose his concentration. His eyes snapped open, he hadn't realized he closed them. And then he heard the same sound, but in reverse. There was sense of peace about him before time resumed its normal pace.

“Well, that’s good to know… Just think about it and it happens.” Rick spoke to himself without realizing it, it made look a little crazy to the animal jigsaw observing him. But then again, everyone does that when they’re alone. So when does that really matter?

Anyway, cut scene to Discord watching on from his cloud disguise as Rick figured out how to… eh… ‘bring out’ his extra set of arms. Discord snickered when he heard a sigh of relief from Rick; the imbecile completely forgot that he didn’t have holes for his second pair of arms in his shirt. Rick then discovered how to retract his lower arms. Maybe to avoid ripping his shirt. He then nodded to himself, seemingly becoming determined. Rick then started for Ponyville.

*Oh~ Let’s see what this little ape is capable of...* Discord thought to himself as he followed Rick.

It has only been three days. Three. Days. Discord couldn't believe the mass panic he was witnessing in Ponyville. There were ponies literally running around in circles, some smacked into each other, and others just stood still, not knowing what to do. Discord saw the girls standing in front of town hall with the mayor. He heard them yelling things they thought would help the citizens calm down. It wasn't working. He teleported over to Fluttershy, nearly scaring the poor mare to death.

“Fluttershy my dear, what is going on?” Discord asked, feigning ignorance.

“W-we don't know,” the shy pegasus answered. “They keep yelling about something always moving there stuff around. But, none of us know what they mean.”

“I see…” Discord hummed.

“Ya’ll wouldn't happen t’be the cause of all this mess would ya?” Applejack asked with a scrutinizing glare while crossing her arms.

“Moi?” Discord asked, putting a talon to his chest. The apple pony nodded. “Well, while I certainly would want to take credit for all of… This.” He gestured to the panicking ponies. “As hilarious as it is. I cannot, for it was not me, this time at least.”

“Oh yeah? How would we know you didn't make all this mess?” She asked.

“Oh, Applejack! You wound me!” Discord cried as he turned away. He held his paw up to his chest, completing the ‘emotionally hurt’ look. “But, I can honestly say that I am not the true culprit.” Discord said with a contempt nod.

“Well… Alright. I'll be trustin’ ya this time.” Applejack relented. “But if yer lyin’-”

“Girls! Look!” Twilight shouted. Everyone looked to where she was pointing at. The saw half of a silhouette disappear around the corner of a house. It looked like some short-statured creature. A big, floppy, something on its head told the girls that whatever that was wasn't a pony.

“That must've been the pony behind all of this!” Twilight exclaimed. Why she called the thing a pony, we shall never know.

“After it!” Rainbow shouted and bolted towards the corner.

*Don’t let them catch you. The girls just saw you.* Discord telepathically told Rick. There was no response for about five seconds.

*Woah, Discord was that you?* Rick asked.

*T’was moi my ape friend. Did you hear what I said?*

*Yeah; don't get caught.*

*Spelndid! Meet me at Fluttershy’s when you have lost them.*

*Alright… See ya there.*

...

Hmm? The you’re a bit confused? About what exactly?

…

Oh, that… I did put the ‘Anthro’ tab on this fic for a reason…

...

Oh, well. Might as well backtrack a bit from Rick’s point of view.

“That mother fucker...” Rick said with a smile. “Neglect to tell me every pony is anthro will ya.” Rick chuckled. “Hmm… at least they look proportionate for anthropomorphic, biped ponies.” Rick wondered why those weird Source Filmmaker models came to mind. Not the Equestria Girls kind. The kind where it's just a regular human body with a pony head attached. But, the ponies here look like some custom model an animator creator with proportions in mind.

Anyway, Rick pushed that observation aside and brainstormed where he should start having fun. Discord didn’t really leave him with much to use. Just only his super power-

That’s it!

Rick could use his Bullet Time to slowly mess with the ponies. He could start by moving things a couple of inches from their usual place. Sure, it sounds quite lame. But, imagine noticing your personal belongings not in their usual place. You didn’t move them, something did. And whatever, or whoever it did, decided to break into your home and not to steal anything. Then it persists, to the point where even the fridge is in the living room. Oh~ Anyone would lose their shit if that were to happen!

And, well, Rick is going to find out how these ponies react…

“Discord?” Rick asked.

“Hmm?” He responded, he looked down at Rick. “Oh. When did you get here?”

“As soon as the girls ran off. What were you thinking about? I had to call you three times!”

“It’s nothing you have to worry about.” Discord waved it off with a paw. “Anywho, you’ve been busy the past few days!” Rick smiled widely.

“You like what I did?” He asked hopefully.

“‘Like it’?” Discord asked. “I love what you did with this village! And in so little time as well! I hadn't a clue humans could work so quickly!”

“I know, I’m awesome.” Rick blew on the non-existent ring he was wearing and cleaned it off on his chest. The little action eliciting a chortle from Discord.

“Hey! There it is!” Both Rick and Discord froze, their head simultaneously swiveling towards the source of the voice. Turns it, it was Rainbow Dash. Right behind here were the rest of the Element bearers.

Before anything else could happen, Rainbow’s wings flared. And, with a single, powerful flap, she launched herself at Risk. Her speed nearly reaching ‘Sonic Rainboom’. A noticeable little thing to Rick; her hands looked ready to choke him. So, he did the best thing he could.

The world slowed around Rick, he then calmly walked over to Rainbow. Grabbed her left wing. And angled very subtly downwards. He then walked back over to Discord, and sped up time. A number of events took place when time returned to its normal place.

First, Rainbow suddenly found herself spiraling out of control. Next, her face meet the lovely dirt beneath her, a decent amount making it into her mouth. Next, two sets of hysterical laughter filled the previously still air. The dust cloud from the impact slowly dissipated, revealing Discord and some alien creature leaning against each other laughing their heads off. Shocking the already startled element bearers, minus Rainbow.

Nothing else happened after that, for a good minute or two at least. The whole scene just seemed too surreal to the mane six. But eventually, their leader, Twilight, was the first to recover.

“Discord!?” She got no answer. Said chimera was too busy laughing. “Discord!” That got his, and the alien’s, attention. Never having heard Twilight’s version of the Royal Canterlot Voice before. “What are you doing with that… that thing!?”

“Hey!” Rick called out indignantly.

“H-he’s a friend of mine.” Discord chuckled out.

“Are you kidding me?!” Rainbow instantly sat up. “And whatever he is made this mess too huh?” She asked, not expecting an honest answer.

That, however, is just what she received.

“Yes, actually.” Discord. “This lovely little friend of mine is the true culprit. Quite entertaining, really.”

“Ya’ll serious?”

“Quite. And I must say, that was fine work.” Discord said while patting Rick on his back. Rick would’ve smiled, however, the looks on the girl’s faces hand't promised pain and suffering.

“Uh… Discord?” *Poof* “You mother fucker.”

“Get him!” Rainbow shouted, she lunged for Rick again. Only for Rick to appear a few feet to his left. Allowing Rainbow’s face to get reacquainted with the ground. Twilight thought she knew what was going on, and used her magic to restrict the little nuisance. Rick didn't react to it though, and stayed still. Twilight found it a little odd, but shrugged off and picked up the creature.

But it didn't happen.

The young alicorn's eyes flared up when Rick didn't move. She looked at Rick, a smug grin showing off his pointed teeth plastered on his face.

“What!?” She tried again to lift him of the ground. “How!?” She huffed, releasing Rick from her magical influence.

“Science!” Rick said before he instantly appeared next to Twilight, his maw no more than two inches from her ear. “Beeyach.” He whispered, then disappeared before Twilight could do anything.

Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's Cottage.

Rick blinked into existence, and immediately looked around angrily.

“What the fuck Discord!?” Rick said aloud. “You threw me under the fucking bus!”

“It was hilarious! Was it not?” Rick whipped around and glared at the reject muppet.

“Screw you.” Rick said with a smirk. It was kinda funny, the look on Twilight’s face was well worth it. Discord saw the smirk and chortled. “But, now what? They’re pissed at us.”

“Oh, you leave that to me.” Discord said with a dismissive wave. “The girls are quite easy to deal with. Well, after they simmer down.”

“Alright… What now though?”

“Now, we wait. I believe we may have ruined the surprise. Or at least, presented it rather early...”

“Naaaaw,” Rick said with a heavy rasp. “Really? I did not think so!” Discord actually glared at Rick. Which made him freeze, who knew a glaring Discord was downright terrifying?

“While I do like sarcasm as much as the next interdimensional being. Now is not the time, nor place, for we actually have some very upset mares pursuing us.”

“I guess. But wouldn't some half-assed apology work for them? ‘Cause really, I didn’t cause any damage. Well… not property damage anyway.” Rick suggested. Discord pondered this, it sound like a good idea to him…

“Hmmm… I suppose that may work. Since that worked with the Smooze…”

“Who?”

“The Smooze! My good ol’ friend! Haven't you watched that little cartoon you humans created about us?”

“Well, yeah. But I didn't watch it a lot.”

“I see…” Discord narrowed his eyes for a second. He thought most socially awkward human males watched that interesting little cartoon, like Rainbow Dash with those adventuring books. “Ah. It doesn't matter.” He said, waving it off with a talon. “But, yes. You will apologize to everypony. I will simply explain that you are my friend. And everypony lives happily ever after!” He cheered.

“Sounds good to me.” Rick said.

“Really?” A surprised draconequus asked.

“Yeah. I'm the one who was having fun, while you were watching.” Rick stated in a matter-of-fact tone. This revelation left Discord flabbergasted. He thought it would've taken more work to put blame on Rick. But he soon broke out into a huge smile. These humans are just full of surprises!

“Marvelous!” Discord clapped his mismatched hands together. “But now… what sort of cover story shall we use? I could always tell the girls we’re just good friends, and you just wanted to have some fun. Something along those lines...” The ancient chimera started brainstorming a few ideas for a believable cover story. To at least divert attention away from himself. Negative attention, anyway, that stuff really dampened his mood.

“I got an idea...” Rick said meekly.

“Oh? Well please, do tell.”

“Well. I thought we could go with me being your friend, n’ stuff. But, like, you could tell them without me hearing about it that I’ve been going through some serious stuff back home, since that’s kinda true. And you saw that I was sad or something. And being the good friend you really are, you decided to take it upon yourself to bring a smile to my face. And you couldn’t think of any better way to cheer me up than bringing me here.”

…

…

“You humans are absolutely full of surprises! I love it! Playing the victim card? Genius!” Discord praised the little human.

“Thanks, I know I’m smart.” Rick said while striking a somewhat heroic pose. His little chest puffed out and all. But the smug look on his face just made Rick look more like an annoying frat boy who just won a beer drinking contest. The look eventually went away, as Rick wanted to plan out their little cover story.

“Anyway, here's what we're gonna do…” Rick began while Discord listened with rapt attention, for once.

“A-are you sure they're here?” A nervous pegasus asked.

“It's the next logical place considering Discord.” A studious alicorn said. “Knowing him, he's most likely waiting for us with that creature.” She reasoned.

“Ah wonder what sorta excuse the varmint’s got this time.” Applejack griped.

“Whatever excuse it may be. It better be more than a simple apology.” Rarity huffed with a flick of her mane. The others, minus Fluttershy, murmured about their own problems with the draconequus. They agreed that, while Discord does mean well, most of the time. He can be a little… Ah… odd. In showing his intentions. To say the least.

As the group approached Fluttershy’s cottage, they quickly noticed the living Jenga game and the little nuisance. Said little thing noticed them running towards them over the bridge. Discord, having noticed his friend's gaze. Turned to the girls and regarded them with a semi-serious expression. The straight line that were his lips startling the mane six into halting their advance on them. The air became still, tension building, the girls fearing the worst; getting the Spirit’s of Chaos ire.

Discord eventually walked over to them. Each element bearer tensing more and more every step he took. He paused his walking so that he was just a few feet away from the girls.

The area remained silent for a little bit more. Until Rainbow decided to engage the ancient draconequus.

“Discord! What are y-”

“We need to talk, girls. About my friend over there.” Discord interrupted Rainbow while throwing a thumb over his back toward the little orange creature. The girls, especially Rainbow, clammed up and kept their words to themselves while explained everything to them. His steely gaze prevented them from speaking either way. All six Elements of Harmony froze, then gulped.

Deception 101

“Uh…” Twilight nervously began. “W-what do you wanna talk about? About your friend I mean?” Discord face hardened. Showing just how serious he really is at the moment.

“Listen, I know you girls aren't particularly fond of me,” That earned a scoff from Rainbow. “but I would like to ask of you one favor.”

“Uh…” Fluttershy said in a wavering voice. “What might that be? If you don't mind me asking…” Discord smiled at the timid pegasus before returning his attention towards the rest.

“My request is simple: I would like to ask that you see to it that my friend over there is left alone. In the sense that you do not give him any trouble regarding what he has done in the past few days.” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder at Rick, who was admiring the setting around him.

“... You're serious?” Rainbow gaped. “Why should we!? That thing made everypony in town lose their minds!” Discord’s bushy eyebrows furrowed in anger at the Rainbow’s shout.

“Because he has not had the best time of his life before I brought him here.” Discord answered. “I'll have you understand, it is not my place to divulge personal information. But what I can say is that smile he wore just minutes ago had been the biggest I have ever seen on him. So please, let him have a little fun.”

The girls were a little confused. They didn't think Discord could be so serious. They felt like they should believe him. But there were hints of doubt lingering in their thoughts. Especially in Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight. The four of them having less trust in Discord than Fluttershy or Pinkie. The draconequus saw the doubtful looks and frowned in annoyance.

“Oh? You don't believe me? Fine, have it your way.” He turned his head towards Rick, calling him. “Rick?” The orange alien looked at his friend. “Could you come here for a moment?” Rick nodded confusingly and walked over to the group.

“What?” He asked the Draconequus.

“Would you kindly inform my friends here about recent events in your life?” Rick’s eyes, grew in diameter in reaction to the request. Rick’s carefree demeanor suddenly vanished. In it’s place, uncertainty. Rick’s long, floppy ears folded themselves against the back of his head. And he found it difficult to look his friend in the eye.

“U-uhm...” He stuttered, something akin to fear in his voice. “I… I don’t… do I have too?” Rick asked nervously.

“Well, these lovely mares find it difficult that I, Discord, from the goodness of my heart. Would bring you, a good friend of mine, here just to brighten your day.” He shot a cold glance at the mares in question. “Much less, they believe your life’s story to be nothing but fabrication.”

“O-oh...” Rick’s small form deflated a bit, his orange fur acting much like Pinkie’s mane when she’s depressed. The only difference being Rick’s fur is much, much shorter than the bubble gum pink mare’s mane, the affect giving his body a sort of plastic-like shine. “Uh… Can… Can I go back home?” Rick asked, shocking Discord and the girls.

“But, whatever for? I thought you wanted a break.” Discord asked when he recomposed himself.

“I know… I just… I don’t…” Rick trialed off with incoherent mumbles in Fluttershy-esque fashion, he even pressed himself into Discord’s side, who wrapped his tail around the little thing comfortingly. The chimera, meanwhile looked at the mane six pointedly. The words ‘I told you so’ written all over his face. He then eyed to ponies, an expectant look his face. Twilight caught on and stepped forward.

“Hey… uh...” A giant note-card poofing into existence over Discord’s head informed her and everypony of the little ceature’s name. “Rick...” The creature in question focused his attention on the young alicorn. “You… you don’t have to tell us. About… anything… If you don't want to.” There was silence between her and the little alien. Then, she noticed a tiny smile curving the edge of his lips.

“Th-thnks.” She barely heard Rick say through Discord’s tail.

Discord smiled and golf-clapped.

“Splendid! Now, Rick.” Discord said while looking down at him. “I must go and check upon my pocket dimension.” He then turned to the element bearers. “I am trusting his safety into your hands, please, don’t disappoint.” Discord said he disappeared with a snap of his taloned fingers. Rick remained in the air for a solid two seconds, having been lifted slightly in Discord's tail, before face-planting unceremoniously to the ground. A grunt could be heard upon impact.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?” Fluttershy gasped while rushing to the fallen being. Rick felt her closing in on him and used his bullet time ability to get up and away from the group.

“I’m fine...” He said in a quiet and reserved voice. The girls were once again amazed at his ability to evade.

And naturally, Twilight became inquisitive.

“How do you do that? I don’t sense any magic used when you do… whatever that was...” She asked while looking at Rick as one would witnessing an impossible feat.

“I… uh.. It’s just, something I can do. I can move super fast.” Rainbow, hearing this, also became inquisitive.

“Oh really? How fast we talkin’?” She asked while crossing her arms. Pushing up her B-cup breasts while doing so, as Rick noticed. He shook his head, remembering the question she just asked.

“Uh… like, really fast.” Rick timidly answered.

“Uhuh.” Rainbow huffed. “Prove it then.” Rainbow was now boring her eyes into the little creature, ignoring the dirty looking her friends were giving her.

“Ok...” Rick looked around for an idea. He saw the tree line and an idea seized his mind. “I’ll… you see those trees over there?” He asked while pointing towards the forest. The girls looked towards the Everfree, then back to Rick, and nodded. “I’m gonna, go over there and leave a scratch mark on one of those trees. Big enough for you all to see.” His voice slowly grew as confidence filled his being. He was sure he could impress that arrogant pegasus. Maybe even shut her up with his speed.

“And how is that supposed to prove anything?” An annoyed Rainbow Dash asked.

“Rainbow!” Applejack shouted. Having enough of her friends unacceptable behavior. Rick, however, managed a small smirk.

“Just watch. And don’t blink.” Rick said right before time slowed to a snail’s pace. Rick laughed at Rainbow’s confused look before he lazily made his way over to a random tree. The forest itself was a college football field's distance away from them. Rick chose a thick tree and carved a crude version of Rainbow’s cutie mark. He managed a glance at her hips when he started walking.

With the carving done, Rick nodded proudly to himself and walked back to hi original spot in front of the group. Time then returned to its normal pace.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Rainbow asked. Rick smirked and threw a thumb towards the foliage. Confused, Rainbow and Co. scanned the treeline. They quickly spotted the carving and their jaws dropped.

“That’s impossible...” Twilight breathed. “There’s now way you didn’t do that without magic.”

“No freakin’ way...” Rainbow muttered. She looked at Rick, fire dancing in those magenta eyes. “Do it again.” She demanded with a scowl. Rick met her gaze with a scowl os his own.

“You’re really mean...” Rick said. His body flickered for a split-second, and Rainbow was gone. The rest of the girls quickly realized what might of happened and frantically started looking for their friend.

“The hay!?” Rainbow’s voice came from the cottage. She flew out one of the windows and rejoined the group. “Did you do that!?”

Rick crossed his arms and said. “Yeah.” Rick said with an upset frown. “You believe me now?” He asked. He was surprised when Rainbow’s face broke out into a wide smile.

“Hay yeah! Dude! I didn’t think anypony could be faster than me! To bad you don’t have wings...” She said trailing off.

“Uhm...” Everyone heard Fluttershy start. “What else can you do? If you don't mind me asking, that is.” Rick smiled, a smug smile at that.

“Well. I can do this.” He said. And the area under his arms bulged under his shirt. Little lumps formed on the top of his head too. Those grew to resemble antenna. Almost like an ant’s, but fleshy.

Rick pulled his shirt up and revealed to the girls that the bulges were an extra set of arms. To the pony’s amazement he began waving them around in sync with his upper arms. As if he was born with four arms. He then turned around and showed off the extra… antennae. Two pairs grew from his back. It was confusing to the ponies; why would any living creature, alien or otherwise, need that many antennae. Once the transformation was completed, Rick turned back around and looked at the girls with a smug smile plastered on his face. Said smile reversed into a frown when he saw Twilight writing on a piece of paper with a quill, in her magic. His body flickered and he was suddenly holding the parchment.

“Hey!” The alicorn shouted at Rick. “I was writing on that!”

“I don’t want anyone writing shit about me like I’m some science experiment.” Rick grumbled while tearing the paper to pieces. “I’ve already had enough of that in my life.” He whispered to himself. That last sentence was quiet, almost too quiet, but the ponies heard it.

This little alien was absolutely baffling to the ponies. His attitude and emotions were flip-flopping all over the place. He was almost like Pinkie, in a way. Rick really couldn’t seem to stick to one state of mind for long.

But that last thing he said while he was ripping the scroll. The ponies thought; What did he mean by that?

“Would you, like, not do that?” Rick suddenly asked. The girls refocused their gazes on Rick, the short alien looking at them with an annoyed glare. They paused for a second, confused glances exchanging between the six of them. They eventually nodded, and Rick smiled a little. “Thanks...” Rick said. “Sorry, I just… I don’t like it when people do that.” Rick admitted. The girls nodded somewhat understandingly. His reasoning was pretty sound; Who would be comfortable with somepony just writing notes about you like Twilight did?

It certainly made the purple pony regret doing that.

“I’m sorry too...” Twilight said, her wings sagging a bit. “I should’ve at least asked if you were ok with me… doing that.” She looked at the ground, ashamed for losing a bit of control.

“Eh… it’s alright.” Rick waved it off. But some of the girls could tell there was… something, in his black eyes. Maybe they had caused him remember old, unsavory memories? “So… now what?” Rick asked.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Well, are you gonna take me in for questioning or something? Stuff like that happens in movies so...” Rick trailed off.

“... He’s got a point...” Rainbow commented idly. Everypony glared at her for a second. Then, Pinkie was struck with an epiphanie. Which was cause enough for the pink party pony to hop into the air while dramatically gasping.

“IneedtogodosomethigBYE!” The pink enigma let loose a stream of words before she bolted off towards Ponyville. A pony-shaped dust cloud left in her place. The girls shared knowing glances while Rick looked confused as ever.

“What was all that about?” Rick asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing you need to worry about darling, it’s just a little surprise.” Was all Rarity said before she broke down into titters. Rick became more confused at this.

“Wha...”

“Don’t worry about it sugarcube.” Applejack said with a dismissive wave of her right hand. “How ‘bout we take ya on a tour ‘round town? Ah know ya probably had you own kinda tour, but, still. Wouldn’t hurt if we introduce ya to everypony.” The orange mare suggested.

“Are you going to tell everyone about, like, me? About what I’ve done?” Rick asked with a hint of fear in his voice. The girls looked at each other, a silent agreement was made between them.

Twilight cleared her throat in said in an authoritative tone. “Since you really didn't cause any form of physical damage, we won't tell anypony that you were the cause of all the chaos.” Rick heaved a sigh relief at that. “But we still are introducing you to everyone as Discord’s friend.”

“Oh… uh… actually,” Rick gulped audibly. “is it alright if Discord does that?”

“Uhm, why?” A genuinely confused Twilight asked.

“Well… no offense… but… Discord’s the only guy I can trust at the moment...”

…

Twilight really had no idea how to respond to that.

“... Oh… And… What makes you say that?” She asked.

“Really?” Rick asked with an annoyed expression. “You six chased me, and she nearly had me in a choke hold.” He said bitterly.

The girls, even Rainbow, had the decency to look a little ashamed. But it only lasted a few short seconds.

“Oh, come on. I wasn’t even gonna do that!” Rainbow gripped.

“Likely story.” Was all Rick said. The girls wilted a bit, and Twilight sighed.

“Please, give us another chance. I promise we won’t… do anything. We just want to show you around town.” Twilight said with a light-hearted smile. Rick crossed his tiny little arms. He stood resolute against Twilight and company’s pleading faces. For, like, a second. It was eleven seconds to be exact, but it was all the same to him.

“Urrgh, fine.” He said, much to the girl’s delight. “But if any kinda horse shit happens I'm outty five-thousand.” They flinched at his colorful choice of words, but understood and nodded.

And so, the Mane Six began their little tour of the Town of Ponyville, showing the little alien around. And informing him of landmarks such as Rarity’s clothing store,Town Hall, and the School House. And also generally told Rick more about the towns ponies (there wasn't much about the buildings in the first place).

The ponies touring Rick had an ace up their sleeves though, since they saved Sugarcube Corner to be the end of their little tour. Rick of course new about the bakery, and generally had an idea about the town itself. But the sights still enthralled the little experiment.

*heavy cough-cough*

From the medieval housing, to the modern-ish market, to the downright beautiful scenery around. Ponyville emanated an aura of peace and quiet. Quite the opposite to the hustle and bustle of the City that Never Sleeps, in which Rick lives in.

Compared to that place, Ponyville was a slice of heaven. Especially more so when he laid eyes upon the bakery. As much as Rick wanted to run up and take a bite out the building itself. He thought he knew better, since he didn’t know whether or not the building was really made out of gingerbread and frosting.

“Rick?” Twilight called. “You can go on ahead inside, me and the girls need to talk about something. Pinkie should be inside already.” Rick raised a brow, but nodded and made his way inside Sugarcube Corner. He at first noticed through the windows that it was somehow dark inside, despite it being about noon. He glanced back at the girls and saw them stealing glances as well. He refocused back on the establishment, shrugged and waltzed right inside.

As soon as he did, he noticed that there were ponies inside. And, much to his confusement, hiding in the dark, behind and counters and tables, tables, of all things. With his eyes quickly adjusting, he also noticed that the ponies were wearing what appeared to be party hats. There were also streamers and confetti… somehow, hung around the room. At this point, it was obvious to Rick that this was supposed to be a surprise party. So he knew what was about to happen, and prepared for it.

What he wasn’t prepared for, however, was that a certain pony would appear out of thin air in front of his small form, her face mere inches away from his own.

“Surprise!”