Super Mario Harmony Land

by IncredibleMeh

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Crossover, Comedy
Length: 4090

Bowser's latest scheme winds up sending the Mario Bros. to Equestria. Also Bowser is stuck there to

After one of Bowser's schemes actually winds up being significantly different from all his other attempts at conquest, and unsurprisingly, fails miserably, he and the Mario Bros. are stuck in Equestria. Of course it wouldn't be a MLP fanfic without the usual "I'm going to Ponyville!" cliche, so that's just where the Mario Bros. happen to end up.

Did I mention a good portion of all the power-ups that Mario and Luigi use were also sucked into Equestria? That's right! Watch the hilarity ensue as various ponies encounter various seemingly impossible power-ups, that give them even more impossible abilities! Wanna see what happens when Pinkie Pie gets here hands on a Starman? So do I, but I geuss we'll all just have to live with whatever my imagination can come up with!

I highly recommend that that you watch the Italian Friendship is Magic Opening before you start reading this. (Yes, because Mario is Italian, aren't you a smart one?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dchiYx5Hzo

Awesome Mario pony image by this person: http://sklavenbrause.deviantart.com/

[WARNING: MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN EXCESSIVELY STUPID LEVELS OF RANDOM!]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-08 12:04:01 UTC

Prologue

Mario was pretty fed up. Here he was again, fighting Bowser, trying to rescue Peach, who may or may not be in another castle. If there was one thing that annoyed Mario, it was the constant need to check every single castle to find out where the princess was. How many times had he done this? He couldn’t even remember.

“Hah, you’re going down Mario, you’ll never stop me this time!”

Mario almost facepalmed, he could swear Bowser had said that exact sentence at one point.

“Kamek, fire up the spell!”

“Of course your royal grumpiness.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

Oh great, what was he going to do now, use magic to make himself giant, again? As if that had worked well so many times before. In fact, it only really served to make him a bigger target for Mario. He wished Bowser would do things differently for once.

Mario looked at his brother Luigi, who was apparently to busy trembling in fear to run away screaming. “C’mon Luigi, snap out of it!” Luigi stopped cowering in fear, and actually attempted to put on a brave face. Luigi might seem like a coward, but he could at times be even braver than Mario, when he needed to be.

Kamek began waving his wand around, odd colorful squares and triangles and stars and other stuff of various shape formed around it, eventually condensing into a magical ball, which Mario assumed was meant for Bowser.

Instead of firing the spell at Bowser like he had predicted, Kamek fired it at the ground, creating some manner of vortex…   swirly…   thing. Mario immediately noticed the vortex began sucking him in, but he managed to grab a nearby chain, successfully preventing the magic vacuum from pulling him further towards the spiral monstrosity. Luigi, back to his cowardly self, was somehow managing to run away from the vortex, while suspended in the air. In all his life, Mario had never figured out how his brother could do that. Maybe he learned it from the Yoshies when they were infants? He wasn’t sure how the Yoshies did that either.

Mario looked down into the center of the vortex, which was opened up to some lush and colorful environment. So Bowser had intended to warp him away, banish him to some remote area where he would be of no harm to him?

The platform which Bowser stood upon was crumbling, and the loose chain Mario had grabbed unto was being ripped off by the magical force. The vortex, er…   portal was growing stronger.

“Kamek, I though you said I’d be to *gak* heavy too be pulled in!”

“Something must have gone wrong! The portal shouldn’t be this strong, something else must be supplying it with magic!”

"I don't wanna hear about the technical stuff, I want this fixed!"

"I'm working on it your highness!"

Luigi was very quickly being sucked in, despite his efforts to escape.  All manner of things were being sucked inside, from super mushrooms and fire flowers to even members of Bowsers army. It was no wonder Bowser kept being beaten, he always left powerful items lying around unguarded, where Mario and Luigi could easily grab them. Eventually, Luigi was also sucked in, banished to whatever realm the portal took him. Chances were he wasn't coming back on his own.

“Luigi!” Mario shouted, letting go of the chain and following after his brother, intent on rescuing him.

Bowser soon followed, unable to resist the pull of the magical accident in the center of the room, and being damned to the same realm the two brothers had been.

Miraculously, Kamek had managed to fight the pull until the portal eventually dissipated.

“…”

“Now what?” Kamek wondered. He might as well check on the princess’s prison chamber, it wasn’t like the entire plan went down the drain or anything.

The last thing Mario remembered after he went through the portal was faceplanting into some incredibly lush, green, and soft grass before passing out.

Mario asked for different, now he was going to get it.

(And in the form of magical talking ponies too! How quaint!)

Heavy Issues

Luigi was the first to awake just as he was the first to fall into the portal. He attempted to get up, he fail. He tried getting up again but continued to fail miserably. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stand on just his hind legs.

Wait…

Hind legs?

Luigi finally took the time to look down upon himself. The first thing he noticed was his clothes seemed far too big for him (but at least his hat still seemed to fit). The second thing he noticed was he couldn’t feel his hands or feet. The third thing he noticed was he didn’t have hands or feet.

Luigi immediately began screaming and fumbling about wildly, and if a someone were to look upon this sight, they would think Luigi a deranged lunatic. This was exactly what Mario thought as he woke, up. What Mario saw was not his brother, what Mario saw one could only describe as a green colored, clearly rabid horse, who had somehow managed to steal his brother's clothing. That’s what he thought until he saw it’s mustache anyway, that one distinctive feature gave away Luigi's identity.

“” Mario called out to his brother. “”

Luigi turned towards his brother, expecting to see a friendly face. Instead he saw a red colored horse with a mustache. Poor Luigi began panicking, and screaming, and generally flailing about like only a very panicked ponified Luigi could.

Mario, curios as to what could have caused his dear brother to react to him in such a way, checked himself to make sure he hadn't undergone any monstrous transformation, or had something particularly horrifying stuck to his face. Neither of these things had happened. instead, Mario found he had the body of a red colored equine based creature. He also found he had very serious trouble standing up. After numerous tries, he regrettably decided it best to attempt to walk on all fours. Thankfully this proved to be not nearly as difficult as it sounded. Calmly he walked towards his brother, who was flailing about in an attempt to escape the confining oversized clothing.

Mario raised an eyebrow at the whole situation. Well, it wasn’t the weirdest thing that happened to them. They had met a race of sentient bean people, how bad could being turned into an off color pony be? At least there wasn’t an entire civilization of them right?

Mario, having finally snapped his brother out of a panicked frenzy, pointed him to the direction of a small town, which hopefully had someone who could fix their problem.

Fluttershy could swear she heard had heard a knock on the door, but when she opened it, nopony was there. (In situations like this, look down.) She looked down.

What she saw at her feet was no pony, but a strange green box with a white exclamation mark embellished on its sides.  Was it meant to be a package?  She presumed so. Perhaps the wrong mail had been delivered to here again? But it didn’t have a stamp or return address or anything else packages had on them, so that couldn’t be it. Had someone left it here? If that was the case, it was assumed it was meant for her. Was it a gift? She picked up the strange box, and carried it inside.

The box was surprisingly light, to light in fact. It took almost no effort to carry the object, almost as if it could simply float in midair. She set the object down on a table with a thunk.

Immediately afterwards, there was another, louder sound. Like metal hitting a hard surface. The box she had set down was now gone, and her forelegs…

They were made of metal.

Fluttershy panicked. She backed away from the table, her step making loud clunk noises. She looked for a mirror, and what she saw frightened here. In the mirror was not the image of herself she came to know. In the reflection was some metallic monstrosity that out of some miracle of either magic or science could move about like its metal frame behaved no differently from normal flesh and bone. She started rapidly hyperventilating. She was made if metal. No, she was the metal. She was metal.

She did not like being metal.

She needed help; Twilight would know what to do, Twilight always seemed to no what to do. Fluttershy put on a robe to conceal her appearance, than headed for the library, making very noticeable loud clunking noises on her way there. Unfortunately,  this was proved to be a very difficult situation for a pony who generally doesn’t like having everyone’s attention focused on her. Even at a tiptoe, the clunking was still very audible to other ponies, and having all that attention focused on here only caused her to run away, making the loud meta clangs that came with each step even louder. At this point she was running as fast as she could, focusing on nothing but getting to the library as fast as possible. She desperatley wanted to get away from prying eyes. Anypony or anything unfortunate enough to get in the way was effortlessly knocked aside. Stands at the marketplace and were easily smashed threw, and at one point a carrage was knocked into the air. Everypony and everything was going flying. By the time Fluttershy reached the library, she had accidentally left a trail of clearly visible destruction in her wake.

She tried to gently knock on the door. She punched a whole threw it. She attempted to open the door herself, but instead it was knocked off its hinges. When she to a step inside, it shook the room, and every single book fell off its shelf. From the other room, Twilight could be heard coming in.

“What is going on in he- Fluttershy!?”

“Um…   hello.”

I Like Turtles

Mario walked steadily on, albeit a bit slowly. He still hadn't quite gotten used to having four legs, but he was learning. Luigi however, was fumbling and tripping around like an idiot. This gained some unwanted attention from the ponyfolk nearby.

Mario had been rather surprised to discover there actually was in fact an entire society of colorful horse-like creatures, but not too surprised mind you. He had been in space before, he had seen a castle ripped up out of the ground, he wouldn't be caught off guard by this. Luigi was reacting quite differently. He was jumpy and nervous, and looked at everything with a somewhat startled expression. After asking around the town to see if there was anyone who could help (they'd gotten a lot of odd looks when they told their story), he had learned that they where in a town called Ponyville. He almost laughed at the name. The two brothers eventually came across what appeared to be a house fashioned out of a tree (again, not the weirdest thing they'd seen.) He paid it no mind an continued to walk forward.

He just missed the small, brown, vaguely mushroom shaped creature knocking on the door and leaving behind a what appeared to be an ordinary leaf.

Elsewhere, a certain koopa king was stranded in the most dangerous area in all of Equestria.

Bowser was in a surprisingly good mood at the moment. It didn't really matter to him that his plan had failed horribly, and it didn't really matter that he didn't have a clue where he was. What did matter to him was he got to vent his anger on a lot of very foolish things that had tried to kill him today, which put him in a great mood. Such as that strange hybrid of lion, scorpion, and bat he encountered yesterday. The creature was foolish enough to attempt to attack Bowser from the front. One might see this as a smart move, considering the spikes on Bowser's back, but the creature no longer had an element of surprise because of it's actions. It was fast, but Bowser's skin was thick enough that it's claws had no effect. By the time the creature had struck him, he had already gotten ready to punch it all way to tim-buck-two, and that's just what he did. The poor thing went flying, and the koopa king almost felt sorry for it.

Some cross between apparently a chicken and a snake had also attempted to assault him, interestingly enough by trying to turn him to stone, feet first. It would have worked, but Bowser didn't need to move to fight back, and the sorry excuse for a predator got the message when it's feathers were almost all singed of, and so it released it's curse upon him, and decided to hunt elsewhere.

A large bear, with fur that mimicked the night sky had tried to attack him the other day as well, when he had seeked shelter in it's cave. Bowser was completely oblivious to the beauty of the beast's fur, assaulting it without a care as to why it had such a strange appearance. The bear was strong, very strong. It was almost a match for him, but the wild beast fought with only blind rage. Bowser had jumped up and slammed the creature on the head with his back, knocking it out cold. The bear might have been able to block him if it had attempted an actual strategy.

By the next morning, no monster in the forest was foolish enough to take on Bowser.

As much fun as Bowser was having hitting things, he needed to find his way out of this forest. The forest was pretty dark, but he thought he could see sunlight ahead, and that meant there was a way out. He ran for the exit, relieved to finally be out of that forest, although he made a mental note to visit later for some target practice.

He had appeared to have entered an apple orchard. There weren't many of those in the Mushroom Kingdom. Everyone was all about the god-forbidden fungus there. The trees looked incredibly healthy, like they had been taken care of by the best. And because of this, the apples on the trees looked like just about the most delicious apples he'd ever seen. He grabbed one off the tree and ate it whole.

These were the most delicious he'd ever seen, and eaten! Who ever owned this apple farm had to be a real pro! He ate another, and another, and- *conk*

An apple struck him on the back of the head.

"That's apple family property you thievin' monster!" Bowser turned around, and saw the creature brave enough to attack the koopa king. An orange colored horse had lobbed apples at him. He wouldn't even bother killing this thing, it was beneath him.

"I was gonna pay for them!"  He lied.

Applejack was a bit taken aback by the fact that the monster could speak, but not enough that she couldn't tell when somepony was lying. "Don't ya'll lie to me! You pay up now or yer in fer a beatin'!"

Bowser smirked. This thing was probably weaker than the pathetic creatures he fought earlier, but he had to admit, she had guts, and that was deserving of something. He was about to hand whatever money he happened to have, when he realized he didn't carry money on his person, no pockets. The look on his face was enough to let Applejack know he was flat broke.

"If ya ain't got any money, yer gonna hafta ta work for them apples. You can help out on the farm if ya want, don't thing you'd be much help with sellin' anything, the locals won't take kindly to yer appearance I bet." Even if it was a beast, it could speak like a pony could, and that meant it thought and had feelings like a pony could. That meant it at least deserved a chance. Besides, Applejack had a sort of sixth-sense about whether someone had foul intentions or not. This strange monster didn't seem like the kind of sort to cause any trouble.

Truth was, Bowser was actually not so bad a person. He just hardly ever showed it. Maybe this new place he'd found himself in could bring out the best in him?

"Fine!" Bowser snorted. He could have easily refused, but he didn't exactly like the idea of being pelted with apples. Besides, working at the farm most likely meant free food. If there was anything Bowser enjoyed, it was stuffing his face with food.

"Name's Applejack by the way! You wanna start workin' know or later?"

He'd already began picking apples. He figured if the harder he worked, the more likely it was that he'd be given food.

"Alright then, I'll leave you to yer work, don't be slackin' behind my back now though!"

Bowser was hoping he would be brought back food later. He wondered what he would be eating as he worked. He could really go for some pork-

"Wait a minute." He realized, the person bringing him his food was a horse. Horses were vegetarian, that meant they didn't eat meat. That also meant he couldn't eat meat, because not only was he not going to be given any meat, or be able to buy any meat, but he also couldn't risk eating meat without greatly offending someone, and that would most definitely mean he would lose this job, which would mean he would have no chance of getting any food at all! Bowser stood there, terrified of the prospect of going on a vegitarion diet He had never once in his life considered what he would do if he were to be unable to eat meat, and now that such a situation had taken place, he realized how big a part it was in his life. He became so focused on this he failed to notice the three fillies sneaking up behind him with a net.

"Gotcha!" The little fillies shouted with glee. "Cutie Mark Crusaders monster catchers!"

Bowser was dumbfounded. "Wha-"

"Do you see anything?" One of the fillies asked.

"Nope" Another said.

Bowser turned around, to see a bunch of little pony children. "What the heck are you three doing?"

"Checking to see if we have cutie marks in monster catching!" The white colored one said.

"What is that like a girl scout's merit badge or something?"

"A cutie mark represents what yer special talent is, we're tryin' to find out what our special talent is!" The yellow one said.

"We were gonna see if our special talent was monster catching! The orange one spoke up. "Hey, what kind of monster are you anyway?"

"I'm not a monster, I'm a koopa."

"A koopa, what's that?" The white one asked.

"Um, it's like a kind of turtle, I geuss." Bowser was surpised, they seriously didn't know what a koopa was? He must have been pretty far from the mushroom kingdom then. In hindsight, he probably should have asked where Kamek had set the portal's destination.

"A turtle! We caught a giant turtle!? No wonder we didn't get our cutie marks!" The orange one shouted.

"What's wrong with turtles? I like turtles!" The white one argued

"Turtles are lame!"

"They are not lame!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"SHUT UP!!" Bowser screamed. The two arguing fillies shut that yap-flaps faster than a mosquito beats it's wings. "Yeesh, you kids might as well have your cutie-whatevers in arguing!"

"Hey, maybe you can help us find are cutie marks!"

"I- What? Hold on, I'm not helping you find your cutsie-marks or whatever you call em, I've got better things to do!"

"Like what?"

"Like working on this farm so I'll be fed some food! I can't just starve."

"Please?" They all said in unison.

"No."

"Pleeeeease?" They all said with big puppy dog eyes.

"No."

With no other options, the Cutie Mark Crusaders resorted to the one thing that was certain to succeed. The triple puppy dog eye pouty face.

"NO."

They pouted more

Bowser sighed. "Fine." Their expressions rapidly changed from a sad to a joyful one. "Cutie Mark Crusaders go!"

Bowser groaned.

Impossibilities

"Fluttershy, what in Equestria happened to you!? Twilight asked. Fluttershy was standing in the library, unable to sit anywhere, since every chair she had tried so far had been crushed under her weight. Spike was busy trying to keep himself from bursting into laughter.

"Well I don't know exactly. There was this box that I found outside my door an-and when I brought it in and set it down on the table..."

"A box did this, Seriously? How can a box do something like this?"

"It wasn't just any old box though. It was big and green really really light, and I mean really light, I hardly had to lift it."

"Fluttershy, your solid metal. You are literally an iron pony. Right know, you are a scientific impossibility. You-  Hold on, what's that sound?" Some disturbance had (thankfully), interrupted Twilight before she could start a rant.

Outside could be heard some particularly joyful sproinging and bouncing, as well as Pinkie Pie squealing with delight. Whatever was going on  outside, Twilight had to find out. Spike was busy trying to keep himself from bursting into laughter.

Outside was Pinkie, coiled in some kind of metal spring, bouncing back and forth across the street like it was some wonderful amusement park ride.

"Hi Twilight!" Pinkie shouted with glee. She landed...  on top of her head. She then climbed out of the giant spring and pulled from seemingly nowhere what appeared to be a rather large oddly shaped grey mushroom. It looked almost spring-like in appearance.

"Hey Twi, look what I found, isn't it neat? You eat it, and then this magic spring appears and everything goes all boingy and wheee! Try it!"

Twilight just blinked. "I...   You... Ate it, and a spring appeared?"

"Yup!" Pinkie said, with a big grin on her face.

"But that's impossible, only magic could do something like that, and I'm fairly certain there are no magical fungi of that nature around Ponyville."

"Silly, how can it be impossible if it just happened? Watch!" Pinkie took a bite out of the shroom, and true to her word, a spring appeared, coiled itself around her, and then bounced higher than the top of Twilight's tree home.

What Twilight felt was not shock, or awe, but more of a feeling that the entire concept of a magical mushroom that turned someone into a spring was ridiculous, and downright improbable.

"*sigh* You know what, I've already seen one impossible thing today, I'm not even going to bother with this one!"

"Huh? Lemme see!" Pinkie poked her head into through the library door. There she saw Fluttershy, except she was solid metal. Even her mane was metal.

"Woah, Your solid metal! How'd you do that!?"

"Um well see, there was this box and..." Fluttershy couldn't finish her sentence, she got distracted when Pinkie poked her in the side with a fork. Pinkie apparently felt the need to test the theory that sharp objects don't work on metal things.

Twilight sighed. A mushroom that practically turns ponies into a spring, and a box that made ponies into living metal. What next, a giant green wind-up boot? No, she would worry, about the shier ridiculousness of this later, first she needed to find out how to fix Fluttershy.

"Spike, see if you can find any books on any spells involving flesh to stone transformation."

Spike hopped up and began shuffling through the various shelves of books. "Hey wait, Fluttershy was turned to metal, not stone."

"I know, but as far as I know there are no recorded spells that can turn ponies to metal, so I'll just have to compensate with something of a similar nature. All I have to do is find out how to reverse the effect.

An hours had past, and she had barely made any progress. She had turned objects to stone, she couldn't turn them back. And there was still the fact that Fluttershy retained the ability to move, which complicated things. Unless a miracle happened, she wasn't going  to solve this problem anytime soon.

There was a knock on the door.