What Happened Last Night?
"Ugh, what happened?"
A splitting headache was the first thing to greet Discord as he slowly woke up. As his eyelids opened up, his vision was blurry, the rocks and grass in front of him constantly moving around. Groaning, Discord put his lion paw to his head, wincing in pain from his headache. A little bit of magic was more than enough to get rid of the pain and clear his vision.
The first thing Discord noticed was that he was outside somewhere, and it was morning. Judging by the position of the sun, it was well into the morning, almost reaching the afternoon. The Spirit of Chaos guessed he was somewhere outside of Ponyville, but not anywhere near the Everfree forest.
"Ah, isn't this just like me?" Discord asked, leaning back against the larger clone of himself as he spoke. "Waking up with several different versions of myself with a corn snake wrapped around us. Hey small plushy Discord, how are ya doing down there?"
Beneath the Spirit of Chaos, a smaller copy of himself lay face down in the dirt, only able to let out a few muffled groans in response.
"Yeah, figured as much," Discord just commented. "Large slightly cuter plush version of me, how are you doing?"
"I have seen everything, Discord," The larger clone commented with wide eyes. "I can no longer be contained."
"Yeah, have a little coffee, then we'll see how contained you feel," Discord just calmly responded, stretching his arms upwards as the corn snake's coils shifted slightly.
Wait a minute.
Two copies of himself, one bigger and one smaller, and a big orange corn snake wrapped up around them?
Just what DID happen last night?
Slithering out from the snake's coils, Discord hopped down to the ground and turned to see his new comrades. Indeed, there were two copies of himself coiled up by a big orange corn snake. The smaller of the two had body proportions similar to the typical pony , whilst the bigger one was about the size of a typical chimera. Both seemed to be primarily quadrupedal, and the corn snake in question was big; significantly bigger in width, length, and weight compared to Discord himself, but not by a massive degree.
"Now how did you three come about?" Discord pondered aloud as he put his paw to his chin in thought.
"DISCORD!!!"
Discord jumped a little at that shout. He immediately recognized the voice as Celestia, but the tone caught him off-guard and even frightened him somewhat. He hadn't heard her speak so angrily since the time he was still evil and ruled Equestria before being turned to stone...
Oh dear.
Gulping slightly, Discord turned around to see that not only Celestia had arrived on the scene, but Luna as well. The sisters were hovering above the ground, their manes stretching upwards whilst their eyes glowed white. Celestia's mane was now glowing bright orange, whilst Luna's was starting to resemble Nightmare Moon's.
Yup. They were pissed.
"Uh, hehe," Discord said nervously as he rubbed the back of his head with his paw. "Hey there Princesses. Uh, what brings you two here-"
"You know EXACTLY why we are here, Discord!" Luna shouted, the crackle of lightning being heard as she spoke, Discord flinching in genuine fear at this. "You and your partners in crime have caused quite a lot of trouble last night! Because of you, monsters from the chaos realm have invaded Equestria, and our magic can't stop them!"
"Ooh boy," Discord just said, sweating more than a pig in line to the slaughterhouse. "So that's what I was doing last night, huh?"
Taking in a deep breath, Celestia spoke in a more calm voice, though there was still quite a bit of anger in her tone: "Do you not remember anything you did last night? You were almost as bad as when before you were reformed."
"Was I?" Discord responded. "Honestly, I can't recall anything past my drinking like crazy in that one pub in Manehatten." Placing his lion paw to his head, Discord quickly found that the alcohol he had consumed last night was making it rather difficult for his memory spells to help him recall anything. "I guess it's not a good idea to be drinking the Berauschende Wunsche whiskey 7 hours straight."
For a moment, Celestia and Luna had an expression of genuine surprise replace the anger on their faces. "Discord, that brand of alcohol is incredibly powerful," Luna stated. "Few are even capable of surviving being intoxicated by it, and nopony has ever lasted even a half hour of drinking it without going into a coma."
"Well, I guess that's one advantage of being an immortal Spirit of Chaos," Discord responded as he scratched his chin. "You can take the booze a lot more easily than others."
"That doesn't excuse what you've done last night," Celestia noted. "Not only have you caused all sorts of havoc across Equestria, but you have allowed numerous monsters and anomalies to spread across the land. And our magic can't get rid of them."
"Oh, relax," Discord just said with a wave of his hand. "I'll just snap my fingers and everything will be back to nor-"
"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Luna interrupted. "These beings and anomalies you've brought into Equestria cannot be teleported away, nor can they be changed by even your magic. You will have to find other ways to fix all the damage you've done."
"Oh boy," Discord just said, the draconequus really not feeling very optimistic today. "Can you at least help me?"
"This is all your doing, Discord," Celestia answered. "You will have to fix this mess of your's yourself." Taking to the air, the sisters began to fly away, presumably back to Canterlot, though Celestia did pause momentarily. "Besides," The princess said. "Your new partners might be of sufficient aid for you already." And with that, the princesses flew off to leave Discord to his new mission.
The draconequus let out a defeated sigh as he let his head hang down. "This is NOT my day," The Spirit of Chaos muttered to himself. Turning around, Discord looked over his new colleagues. The corn snake was still wrapped around the two Discord clones, the smaller one still laying face down in the dirt. The larger clone still looked like he had discovered the meaning of life. Or maybe he was incredibly high, who knows?
"Well," Discord said. "Looks like I'm going to need your help with fixing all the problems we've caused last night."
The smaller Discord clone finally pulled his head out from the dirt as he looked at the draconequus in question. "Eh, might as well, since we are responsible for it."
The larger copy finally seemed to snap out of his high as he too looked over at Discord. "Are we technically criminals for what we did?"
"I dunno," The Spirit of Chaos responded with a slight shrug. "Probably. First thing's first, though. I'm gonna have to give you guys names, cause it's just going to be confusing if we're all referred to as Discord." The draconequus first pointed an eagle claw at the smaller copy. "You'll be Little D..." Discord then looked at the larger clone. "And you'll be Big D." It was then Discord noticed the big corn snake still wrapped around the Discord clones. "Oh, and, uh, I guess you'll be Socksie."
Little D wriggled his way out from Socksie's coils as he and Big D stood up. "So," The smaller of the two said. "Where do we go from here?"
"Let's head over to Manehatten," Discord suggested. "That's where all our problems started, after all."
"Alright," Big D responded, before he pointed at the Spirit of Chaos with his lion paw. "But if we owe anypony money, you're the one paying."
"Duly noted," Discord just responded, before the rag-tag team of three draconequuses and one big corn snake teleported away. Their destination: Manehatten. Objective: Fix all the problems they've caused by downing one too many beers.
Twas gonna be a chaotic day today.
Author's Note
Welp, here we are with Discord waking up with a little chaotic hangover, and having to fix all the wrongs he's done while wasted as hay. What did happen last night? And where did his new teammates come from? All will be revealed in good time.
This lil' story of mine was inspired by a Skyrim video made by Robbaz about a similar plot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGfUVEkDFE0
Of course, with this story being about Discord, the problems in question are bound to be more...chaotic.
The beginning portion of this chapter (and the concept of this story as a whole) was inspired by this little post in Ask Drunk Discord's tumblr blog:
http://ask-drunk-discord.tumblr.com/post/147573326800 (don't sue me ;A;)
This story's rated M for swearing, usage of alcohol, and more than likely a good amount of violence and/or death. It's also listed as a crossover as characters from other franchises will make appearances through out this story.