"You Can't Have a Rainbow Without Reyn, Baby!"

by YoshiFawful64

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Other, Crossover
Length: 2229

Reyn gets accidentally transported to Canterlot High, and discovers true love with Rainbow Dash. This is their sordid tale.

Most of Midnight Sparkle's magical portals may have opened to Equestria, but one opened to the world of Bionis, bringing Shulk's childhood friend Reyn to CHS by accident. He soon discovers true love, and the greatest pain of all, together with Rainbow Dash.

Published 2017-04-01 11:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-01 11:00:01 UTC

"Dunban, I Think You Need to Have a Talk With Reyn."

"Star-searing flames of absolution!"

"Slit… Edge!"

Shulk and Melia's exclamations carried through the cool night air of Eryth Sea as their attacks struck the weird, crab-like creature — a Pagul, Melia had called it — visibily weakening it.

One more Sword Drive oughta do it, Reyn thought. So long as I use Berserker first, anyway. He readied the Aura, feeling its power surging through him. "Now it's Reyn Ti–"

And then his feet were no longer touching the shore, as though the ground under him had suddenly realized it was never supposed to exist, and had decided to rectify the error immediately. Reyn felt himself starting to fall to someplace unknown. In the instant before he vanished from Eryth Sea completely, as he heard Shulk yelling his name in panic, Reyn caught one last glimpse of the star-spattered sky. Then all he saw was the glare of a golden light striking a dark purple energy of some sort, shrinking it until only gloomy gray clouds remained.

Fortunately, it was only a fraction of a second before his feet hit solid ground again. Seeing as he was caught off guard, however, his legs gave way, and he fell rather painfully on his butt.

Oof, that smarts, Reyn thought as he rubbed his sore behind. Still, coulda been worse, I suppose. Looks like I only fell a few feet.

He clambered up to a sitting position and discovered that he seemed to be on top of a building of some sort, although it looked significantly different from any he'd seen in Colony Nine or Six — in fact, the same was true for any nearby buildings he could see as well. The walls were smoother, the colours more vibrant, and even the basic architecture seemed subtly more advanced. No way was all this built by Homs. I'd almost think it was made by High Entia, 'cept it's not all white and round. Reyn pondered a moment. Where on Bionis is this? A thought struck him. Actually, am I even on the Bionis anymore?

A flicker of movement in the corner of his eye made him turn and see a large group of people gathered around a yard — but while they had the same body shape as a Homs, their legs looked a little too long compared to the rest of their bodies, their eyes were huge, and their skin was every colour imaginable. Not only that, but there was a giant hole in the ground, glowing violet and cyan, that seemed to open to yet another strange world. Above the hole, two of the not-Homs floated in the air, one enshrouded in golden light and the other in a dark atmosphere. Both had massive wings and long horns.

Okay, definitely not on Bionis anymore.

Still, weird as they were, these people were his best chance of finding out where he was. Looking around, he spotted a hatch on the roof, and dropped through it to get inside the strange building.

He found his way through the corridors and stairs with fairly little trouble, and eventually reached the transparent front doors. By then, the light show had ended, and the ground just looked like normal ground. He made to step through the doors, but paused when he saw his reflection in the glass. As he inspected his reflection, Reyn found he now possessed the strange features of the people here; his eyes were at least twice as big as they used to be, and his limbs were much thinner. He even had bright orange skin. Reyn tried to avoid panicking. Don't lose your head now, he told himself. I need to find a way back to Shulk and the others. With a deep breath, he walked out the doors.

Immediately, Reyn was startled by the absurd proportions of a woman just outside. Her legs take up two thirds of her height! Nevertheless, this was no time to gawk. "Excuse me, Ma'am? Could you tell me where I am?"

The woman turned around to face him. "Oh, hello! Why, this is Canterlot High School… although I'm slightly confused as to how you got all the way inside without knowing that. Actually, now that I look at you, I don't believe I recognize you," she said, "and you're not wearing a Crystal Prep uniform either." She held out her hand. "Let me introduce myself; my name is Luna, and I am the Vice Principal here. Now, who are you, if you don't mind me asking, and exactly how did you get here?"

"I'm Reyn." He shook her hand. "I haven't a clue how I got here, though. One minute, I was at Eryth Sea with my friends, and now all of a sudden I'm here."

"Curious. I don't recall ever hearing about a place by that name." Luna thought for a moment, and then her eyes flew wide open. "You didn't come through the portals, did you?"

"The what?"

Luna hesitated, as if unsure whether she should divulge any more information. However, her desire to help seemed to win out, and she elaborated, "Did you enter the interdimensional portals that appeared just ten minutes or so ago? They were created by a student who was temporarily possessed by very powerful magic. Another student sealed them soon after, but it's possible you could've passed through within that interval."

Reyn thought back to the strange lights he had seen as he fell into this confusing world. "Yeah, that sounds like it makes sense."

"So you are from this… 'Equestria'?"

"What? No. I'm from the Bionis."

"Hmm… odd. Well, maybe it's best if I simply take you to meet the girls. They understand this 'magic' thing far better than I do; perhaps they can help illuminate the matter." She started walking and said, "Follow me."

Reyn obliged, and soon enough, he and Luna came upon a group of seven girls standing next to what he guessed was the pedestal of a destroyed statue, all seemingly around his age (as best as he could tell, anyway — it was harder to estimate what with them clearly not being Homs).

"Girls?" Luna called to them, causing them to interrupt whatever conversation they'd been having and turn to face her. "It seems this young man passed through one of the portals just now." This elicited shocked faces from the group, but before anyone could respond, Luna continued, "However, he claims he's not from the 'Equestria' you mentioned previously, but rather a different world altogether — one called…" she turned back to Reyn, "what was it?"

"Bionis."

"Yes, that. Now, due to the events that took place today, my sister and I have a great deal of paperwork to fill now, so I must take my leave. I am counting on all of you to assist him to the best of your abilities."

"Understood," said a red-and-gold-haired girl.

"Thank you," Luna said. Then she walked away, headed for the inside of the building.

The redhead said to Reyn, "I am so sorry for this. I should've made sure no one was in the wrong world before I closed the portals."

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry," said a glasses-wearing girl with purple skin. "I'm the one who created those things in the first place."

Reyn shook his head. "It's all good. Just help me get back to my friends. I'm Reyn, by the way."

The redhead nodded. "My name is Sunset Shimmer, and these are Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity," she said, indicating each person in turn, "and Rainbow Dash."

As Reyn turned to face the final girl, their eyes met and he felt like his heart exploded. It was then that he knew: it was true love.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she responded, and they rushed into each other's arms.

Fluttershy fidgeted. "Umm… is… is it just me, or was that a little… fast?"

"Oh please, Fluttershy," Rarity answered. "Everyone knows that in any love story between a man and a woman, all you need to do is show the prospective couple share half a second of screen time, and all the straight people in the audience will be completely convinced."

As Reyn and Rainbow Dash cradled each other in a passionate embrace, however, a cruel truth struck them both, like a twisted bolt of divine understanding.

"We cannot be," Rainbow woefully stated.

"I know it too, my love," responded Reyn.

"Wait, what? Why?" Twilight inquired, frazzled. "Why is everything happening so fast? Can somebody please explain what the heck is going on here?"

"Nope!" Pinkie cheerily clarified.

"Why not?"

"Because the author really wanted to make this story two chapters long so he could do a fancy quote thing with the chapter titles, but then he procrastined for almost five months, and now his deadline's coming up, so he has to put an awkward cliffhanger here and then end the chapter!" the pink teenager elucidated.

"Oh," the lavender not-unicorn despondently sighed.

And then the chapter ended.

"No. Let's Pretend It Didn't Happen."

Reyn held Rainbow Dash as he gazed into her pools of periwinkle, and spoke, "Our love was never fated to be, for I do not belong in this realm, and I fear I shall be incapable of ever returning to you once I leave."

"Um, actually," Twilight piped up, holding a page full of really cool math she and Sunset had done while everyone else was distracted with all that romance nonsense like some kind of noobs, "I'm pretty sure we could create a stable and portable passageway between your world and this scho—"

She was cut off by this very description of how limpid tears clung to Rainbow's lofty lashes as she peered at her lover's amber orbs, and verbalized, "Not only this, but I am betrothed to another; for I am already in lesbians with Applejack."

"I mean, I wouldn't mind giving polyamory a shot, if that would make you ha—" the farmer tried to say.

"And I am likewise participatory in a further romance, which it would tear my hear asunder to abandon," the used-to-be-Homs sordidly revealed, "even though we two have yet to so much as actually discuss the possibility, let alone date. Additionally, this mostly takes place while she's likely to still be mourning the probably-death of her fiancée, but that's not weird at all, of course."

"Even though we have only known one another for a brief period," the athletic girl sobbed as her beads of sorrow drenched the ground, "I shall always treasure these five minutes — this monumental twelfth of an hour — within my heart's deepest recesses."

Then the pair parted, and Reyn dolefully reciprocated, "I, as well, shall forevermore enshrine your beauteous visage in my mind." Then he stepped towards the currently inactive portal that Twilight and Sunset had created during the last few paragraphs. "Farewell, my sweet not-horse girl." He pushed a button, and the gateway opened.

"You know, you can just come back at a moment's notice," Sunset pointed out.

"Hush now, Sunset," Rarity said, "your common sense is getting in way of my delicious drama." She then resumed eating popcorn out of a giant bowl together with Pinkie Pie.

The un-destined duo shared one final anguished glance that seemed to go on for an endless eternity, but of course it wasn't endless or an eternity, because then it wouldn't have ended, which would have been very awkward for everyone involved.

At last, the Colony Nine Defence Force soldier walked through the portal and disappeared, leaving the rainbow-haired sports-loving girl to sniffle silently in his absence.

"You gonna be alright there, Sugarcube?" asked Applejack.

"I think so," Rainbow replied, now visibly more normal since all the sweet talk was over, and the author no longer needed to use a thesaurus thrice per sentence. "Just give me some time."

As Applejack went to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, however, a vvvWWOOOORrrp'ing sound phased in and out of existence, and the Doctor's TARDIS appeared out of nowhere.

The door opened, and a voice was heard saying, "So why was it that you wanted to come here again? I don't believe you ever said."

"I'm not really sure myself, Doc," Sonic the Hedgehog said as he stepped out the blue doors. "I just got a gut feeling I should. Something about following my rain—" He paused as he caught sight of Rainbow Dash. "Whoa. You're the most beautiful person I've ever se—"

"Oh, for Epona's sake," said Rainbow with a heavy sigh. Then she scissor kicked Sonic, knocking him flying back into the TARDIS, which then caught on fire, and also exploded.

Rainbow then turned to Pinkie Pie. "Hey, Pinkie, you're usually good at this stuff. Can I rest now, or is there more weird stuff on the way?"

"Well, there's no more romance left in this story," said Pinkie, prompting a disappointed groan from Rarity, "but we are coming up on the part where we all explode, and also die."

"WHAT?" the others yelled in unison.

Pinkie smiled. "Oh, hey, here we are!" She then crunched her mouth and raised one hand to her chin, thoughtful. "Oh wait, that's a bad thing. Riiiiiiiiiiight."

Then they all exploded; also died.

THE END
(Thankfully.)