Seriously, he wrote another one?
Gotic McEmo loojed at the smiling cane that was Twilight Sparkeling vamipre and noticed dat de smell was smelly, a smelly smell that smelled badly of stink that smells.
:Well,” He sayed with a dark tone. “Who wants tacos?” Everyone said YEAL! And tey took away to the Sweetie Taco Belle to eat. Because it was a teuseday.
Flash froward by a few yearsses. And Twilight was now ruling successfully (wow my spelling is getting bester@) as the princess of friendship.
Celestia would have made it prince, but blueblood objected to making a donation, and nopony (lol, nopony) wanted to ask Gothic McEmo beacuase he was a hero. So, anyway, Twilight got bester.
It was a teuseday agagin, and fluttershai was eating tacos, and thankfullluluy she and Gothic hadnot had their many babies yet, because that’s not until laster,and I;; write it when I get to ig,in aboot a feew years or so.
ANyway, she was eating tackos and petting angle bunny while Gotic was looking at his new makeup and swag accesserys. “What do ye think love, the snap pack, or the chains with teh swaggin shaeds toda?”
Flootershai was busy with teh zoo she’d brought into hsi castle of dark blackest stones. :I think, something,” She said whipf a frlwn before she cooed at the swan she was feeding. “You’ll make lovely livers for the princess,”
But lets us turn away from tis happy love filled marrage betwenst the two lovesr unt instad turn over to what was going on in caterlot.
Yes, it wasn’t a misspell, Canterlot had a problem, a few months ago, Luna bought a cat. That cat met with anoder cat. Then cats became a popular pet, and everypone had cats. Those cats sterted to meat each odther and soon there were too many cats to canter a lot. But there was a lot of cats, so now it’s caterlot okay?
Anwya,in caterlot, Princess Celestia was pushing a cat off the throne so she can sit down before the court started. The calico hissed as it went down the dias and out the room, letting in a few million pones with their cats.
They all started talking about how they loved Celestia’s sister more, how Celestia was maybe evilish, and how they all felt that everything has been not so good since Twilight got her wings, and Rainbow Dash should nat have been made a wonderbolt because reasons.
Celestia took it all in stride, and shot them all to o the sun were they became marshmellows and glue for the school fillies of equestria.
Having fulfuld her deauties of the day, Celestia got up and promptly fell down the stars and broke her everything including her horn so the sun wouldn’t move nay more.
Luna saww this and said, oh my mother, oh and also your,s alre you alright?”
Celestia smakked her sister a good one, but it hurt Celestia more because her hoof was borkedn. “Get our nephiew here to help us, we need somepone to move the sun!”
Luna coughed into a hoof, as she and Celesta looked at each other. Celstia stared at luan for a few minutes, then Luna looked back. Then Luna whispered, “Long live the…
Celestia smacked her again. “I’m real right now, go get your great whateverith grandson to do this!”
“Oh he. I thought you meant your decendent, the one with the alcohal problem.
“Blubood isn’t cabable of going to the toilet without assistance,” Celest said. “Now do that thing I said, and also get the crown out of my neck, grab my horn, I Think it’s over there, and call me a ambulance.
“You’re an ambulance.” Luna said before leaving the room.
It was a little bit later, (heh bit) when gothic was listening to the song Sweating Bullets by megadeat0h mixed with Cute without the E by taking back sunday. and fluttershy was away. She was having an friendshipping problem, and so she went out because Twilight’s magic map said so.
He didn’t hear then nock on his door made out of recycled boxes, (becasue recycle kids.:P_) but he did notice his great to the whateverith power grandmother yahnk him out by his tail to follow him. “Comeon your going to Caterlot.
I thought it was Canterlot.” McEmo said with a frwon. We already covered this” Luna said as she took to the air,” Keep up with the story oaky?
He tried to use logic by saying that he wasn’t there so of course he wouldn’t know what was going on, but hey what the heck does he know. And so they floew away to the magical castle of caterlot, and was greated by the smell of a bagillion litter boxes. “Ugh, why did it have to be cats?
“Beacuse they are cute so be silent decendent, you need to move the sun down.
“Oh, okay then, but shouldn’t you be the one who,
Don;t argue with your aunt celestia, she just broke her everstuff and needs to be in the doctors for, I guess a week or something.
And so they anded down on the platform of lunas room and were greated by the mob of ponies that wanted Luna for queen, and probably wanted to do the hustle with her or something IDK. She did seem to have a lot of ponies with flowers in her room, and one was wearing a bidle and saddle for some reason, Anywway, luna said she’d be back for them later, and the pair wnt to the docors in the castle.
Twilight was already there, because she’s a loyal puppet, I mean, student to Celestia, and was crying sad over her teacher being in pain.
Gothic McEmo came into the room, and when the door opened, he was preceeded by some pyrotechnics and a releasing of black ravens. The fanfair for the common pony played, and by the time the song ended he’d finally made it to the bed to bow to the mummy being suspened over teh bed.
“Oh auntie Celestia, I’m so saddened to see you so much in pain, let me use my powers to heal you!”
“Sorry,” The doctor said, “But this story isn’t even half over, and a main character that is clearly labeled as a marty stu, can only use the Jesus Allegory once, and it should be somewhere near the end.
“But, I’m not Marty Stu, I’m GOTHIC MCEMO! Best secret publick prince black coated red mained alicorniest poney to ever live! And he used his magic razor blades to cut the doctors hair so he was bald. “Take that! And be thankfull that I didn’t chalange you to a childerens card game on motorcycles!”
“That Refferense is dated!” The doctor yelled as he ran away in shame.
“And being named the Doctor is dumb!” Gothic shouted back, and Twilight smaked her forehead with a hoof.
And so Gothic used his snap pack to take pictures over the internet and put frowny faces in the title to show how sad he was over the serious situation he was in because Celestia was in pain.
Suddenly, fluttershy was there. “Is there a friendshipping problem in here? Oh, high love, are you doing okay inside?” she said in her super whisper voice.
“Wer’e fine,” Gothic McEmo said as he adjusted his swag shades and flipped his mane. “My aunt has an ouch and I gotta run the country for a bit.
“Okay, just be sure to get more bir feed and milk before you get home.” She waved and headed out the door, leaving the others to questin what that was aobut.
“Right, soe, allright,” Gothic said as he cracked his neck and sneezed. And just like that Celestia was better again. (yay)
He then turned to leave, and as he did, the room was so impressed with his sheer awesome impressiveness, that it caught fire and played Black Parade for him before some orderlies came with the fire extinguishers.
And so, Gothic McEmo tried to run the country. And the first law he made, was to put 80 persent of the cats in anywhwere but Canterlot, and to change the name back to Canterlot.
There was much regoysing.(yay._.)
Then, he decided to use the cats to make rainbows. At first, nopony knew what he was talking about, then McEmo said, “I read Equestria Daily, and I know for a factoid that they grind ponies to make rainbows, and they if used cats, would be better.
“But McEmo, that’s just a horror story to scare foals into behaving.” Luna said with a frown.
“I won’t take that kinda insullance. I am the head pony in charge.”
“And I wrote the story.” Luna said with a frown.
“And I made a song about it, remember me!” Somepony said that we had all forgotten about.
“And I wrote a better story about it!” A unicorn said, but when he got some stairs he muttered that he never finished it, and then left the room crying.
Okay,” McEmo said with his serious face. I need to do the thing in cloud city to find out if it’s true.
And so they took Celestia’s carradge up to cloudsdale, but Celestia didn’t come because she was busy eating cake.
Of course, when they got there, a small section of cloudsdale fell from the sky, because it couldn’t handle the sheer weight of awesome that followed Gothic McEmo around. But they fixed that buy making a new pony brushable of a princess that would never be cannon, sorry Princess Skyla, you been replaced with another alicorny babby thing. Anyway, he then toured everything after leaving some of his swag belts and spair trip jeans in the caridge.
Anyway, so to calibrate that Prince Gothic McEmo was visitnig the town for the first time in forever, they stopped playing the trak from frozen since the movie came out, and instead played Maralyn Manson’s cover of this is halloween, and painted the clouds black. So all the posers left, leaving only the truly goths and emos behind.
GMCE was pleased with this, and Luna was incomfortable. And Science magic pon was eating her own tail in an experiment because science.
And so, after a tour of the weather factory, and the rainbow factory, and the secret raingbow factory. And a successful exploding of the sports statium becase sports are dum. Gothic was happy to see that the story was just a story.
He then released a ton of bats over the city and everypony became bat ponies. Or got rabies. Whatever the case.
And so, back to the cats, wich he had with him. He told Twilight “I need halp with a thing, to make the cats not do the babby forming.
“How is babby formed?” Twilight asked in currious face.
“Ask your mum,” Gothic McEmo said before turning to Luna who shrugged/ “She’s not my daughter.”
“Or is she,” gothic mcemo siad/ DUN DA DUN!
No,” Luna deadpanned.
“Oh, okay then.”
So the cats went to Fluttershy, who had so many animals, that she never noticed that a few gazillion were added to the mix, and she dedicated the rest of her days spaying and nutering them all. Well, until Gothic McEmo got home, and descreetely sent them all to the moon, where they all became evolved to a higher level, and then threatened the tall primates known as yahoos in an epic war that they lost.
Where were we, ah, yes, anyway, so. The thousand year rule of Gothic McEmo, was tragically cut short with the full recovery of his aunt, and he was told to GTFO Canterlot.
At first, he was sad t go, but then he saw the throng of canterlotians that wanted to kill him for gettig rid of th ecats, praise him for getting rid of the cats, or make love to him while dressed up as a cat.
So he was rather pleased with himself when he poofed hiself home. Fluttershy was there, and was scooping up the litter box full of a lot of cat scat. (rhyming is magic)
“Hi love, did you get the milk and bird feed?”
“No, because I’m a rebel.” McEmo said as he posed as the wonderbolts did a flyby in his castle.
“Well then, Mr. Rebel. I want a divorce.”
DUN DA DUNNNN!!!
Is this the end of the epic story of teh bestest pone to ever pone? Will I even care to write more?
Will anyone care that I have blatently put myself in the story? Will Dusty Spearhead, or Horizon read this and be insanely jellous?
WILL EQD Please put this on their front page?!?!
These answers and more the day after march 31st.
Author's Note
originally meant to be published this April fools day, I found it in the corner of my PC and finished it up for you guys. So... I'm not sorry.
