How to Get Your Ponecat Off Your Favorite Chair

by The Lunar Rebel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 2521

After coming home from a stress-filled day; you discover your half pony, half cat pet Applejack taking residence on your prized writing and relaxing chair... and she refuses to move.

Having a pet ponecat can be quite the exciting and challenging experience since no one knows where these beings came from, and what they were capable of. Thankfully they're tame and domesticated enough to be allowed into households to live in peace and harmony alongside humans. You were among one of the many people to adopt such a fascinating creature and take it in as a pet, companion and friend.

However, you should feel so lucky that you got one with a stubborn and very prideful personality. Normally that wouldn't be such a bad thing: if it weren't for the fact she has taken unwanted possession of your favorite chair where to relax, think, and write stories on your computer.

How can you reclaim what's rightfully yours without having a complete fallout relationship with something you dearly love and provide care for? You know that her only weakness is her craving for apples... but HOW would that help in anyway?

Cover Art by the famous catpony artist: captainpudgemuffin:rainbowkiss:

Published 2016-11-05 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-05 14:00:01 UTC

"This is Mine Now."

Home at last, you think to yourself as you breath a sigh of relief. After spending hours of the day attending ho-hum classes and working through a tedious shift at your part-time job; there was nothing more welcoming than the sight of your house as you pulled up into its driveway. Since you weren't assigned to do any homework tonight, you thought it would be the perfect opportunity to write some fanfiction on your computer while sitting in your most prized, and very comfortable office chair. Whenever you plopped yourself down into that cushion: the whole world felt like you, and that you could rise above everybody else.

Okay… perhaps that was a bit of an overstatement since it was just an inanimate object. Still though, the stresses brought on from some of the days you go through seem to instantly vanish whenever you sat yourself down in it.

After you walked through the door that connected the house to the garage, you placed your car keys into their holding bowl and hung up your jacket up on the nearby rack. You decided to fetch yourself a fresh glass of iced tea from the fridge before going over to your computer. Along the way however as you pass by the area where your chair is located, you notice that a familiar tangerine-colored fluffball with blonde locks is currently occupying the cushion. This is none other than your pet ponecat, Applejack.

Unlike most cats, ponecats were a hybrid breed of equine and feline that began appearing on Earth with unknown origin a long time ago. Most would say it was a government experiment gone awry that included ponies and cats; but that can’t possibly explain how these beings were capable of knowing and speaking human languages. With that kind of trait, the other side of the argument over where the ponecats came from was that they were from an alternate dimension that mirrored our very own. How a portal opened between worlds if that was the case? No one was exactly sure. Regardless, these creatures managed to be compatible alongside mankind, and were welcomed in homes as pets and companions.

However, each ponecat seemed to individually possess a distinct personality that set them aside from the rest of their kind: and you seemed to be the lucky one that had a stubborn and proud persona… yet she didn’t lie to you, and always told it how it is. At least that was something that was admirable about Applejack.

“Hello, master. How was yer day?” Applejack asked casually as she stretched herself out. Apparently she hadn’t taken time to look at your slightly disheveled appearance.

“Barely bearable,” you reply with a sigh. “I’m just going to fetch a glass of iced tea from the kitchen, and then I’ll be right back. I’m going to need my chair by the way.”

“Ah was here first, ya know,” Applejack stated with a frown. “Can’t ya jes’ pull up another one? Ah’ve already made mahself comfortable here.”

“Well I’m sorry, AJ, but that’s my favorite chair. You know that already. Why don’t you just make yourself comfortable over there on the sofa?” you suggest while indicating to the spot with your finger. “I know that’s your favorite spot to be.”

“Well...Ah’ve decided now that this is my new favorite spot in the house,” Applejack declared while raising her muzzle in the air and protruding out her fluffy chest. “And with that said: Ah ain’t budgin’ from this very spot.”

“AJ,” you say calmly but firmly, “I’m not really in the mood for this right now. Besides you’re not in the position to make the decisions around here. Now be a good girl and please let your owner have the chair.”

“Hhmf!” Applejack snorted and walked in a tiny circle on the cushion before plunking herself down on it in position for a nap. Looks as if asking politely wasn’t going to do you any good. Time to kick it up a notch.

“Okay, Applejack. If you don’t get off that chair this instant, I’m going to get the spray bottle; and you wouldn’t want me to get that now would you?”

Applejack’s eyes shot wide open, and she suddenly stood upright with a deathly gaze.

“You….wouldn’t….dare,” she seethed.

You simply smirked at her effort to be threatening.

“Oh believe me, I would.”

For a brief moment, neither you or Applejack said anything as you both continued to stare deep into each other’s eyes, trying to read what the other could possibly be thinking.

“C’mon now,” you finally say. “Let us just stop playing this little game and show some cooperation.”

“How about….no.”

That was the final straw right there.

“Okay, that’s it! I’m getting the spray bottle!”

“If one drop of water gets on mah fur -” Applejack raised up her hoof-like paw up and extended a set of claws out from within “- then ya better hope you can afford tah buy a new chair… and that it’ll hopefully be as good as this one.”

You freeze in place. The situation processed as your own pet taking your favorite R’n’R item as a hostage. How often does that even happen?! No matter, you decide that you have no choice but to comply.

“Alright. Fine. You can have the chair. I’ll just go up to my room and rest there,” you say with a strong tone of defeat in your voice. Your submission gave Applejack the right to give a smug-full smirk to express her feeling of victory over you.

“Ah’m glad we could finally agree on this,” Applejack said before once again pacing around on the cushion to level it out before she layed back down on it. For extra comfort, she tucked her tail over her muzzle and drifted off into a deep sleep while emitting a content purring noise.

If you weren't in such a bad mood right now, you would absolutely coo at the adorable sight. Instead, you just wordlessly stalked off toward your bedroom with an irritated scowl on your face.

When you reached your bedroom, you closed the door behind you and fell backwards onto the mattress of your bed while letting out an exasperated groan. You couldn’t deny that your bed was just as comfortable as your chair; but frankly that chair was your love, your life. Something seemed disturbing about that logic, but you really couldn’t find any other words to describe the feelings you had of it. You just had to get it back… but how?

You took some time to ponder about what tactics you could use to get Applejack out of the chair. The first thing you came up with was to offer her an early feeding of hay bale kibbles. You thought it would be tempting to her, but she could easily refuse if she was already too comfortable on your chair. If she still wanted the kibbles however, she would probably just make you bring them over to her as if you were her own personal servant. The irony of that is it’s a true purpose that humans must serve. If you were into Egyptology: you would know exactly what I’m talking about.

The second option you thought of was to bribe her into cleaning her litter box more often in exchange for having your chair back. You’d think since Applejack’s part pony, you could just let her outside to go in the yard; but her cat side has slightly more dominance that influenced her to prefer being indoors. Wait… this option seemed to fall into comparison with the first one. Of course you loved and cared for Applejack just like any other pet owner should, but there was a thing called ‘abusing the position’ that Applejack could easily take advantage of if you allowed her to. It would be even worse if she managed to learn and become aware of the ancient feline ancestry and heritage.

You took some more time to think of a solution that wouldn’t end up with you becoming a domestic servant to your own pet. At first, it seemed like there was no hope since everything you thought off seemed to end up in that categorization… all except one.

Applejack had a crazy appetite for apples, or anything apple-related. It’s no wonder her name suited her so well. At first you’d think that you would be serving her by giving her a free apple if you could have your chair back. That bribe could work; but it could possibly backfire on you horribly if Applejack was clever and cunning when her feline instincts kicked into full gear.

The idea came to you when you spotted your fishing rod resting in the corner of the room. All you needed now was a string, and an apple slice. Both would be easy to obtain since you had some fishing string stored in your closet, and that fresh apples were proudly displayed in the fruitbowl located in the kitchen.

Your favorite chair would, and soon be yours again.

As you peeked your head into the living room, you spotted Applejack still resting on your chair. You could see her back moving up and down in a steady, slow pace to display how she was breathing. From the looks of it, she definitely was in a deep slumber. Admittedly, you felt bad for having to disturb her peaceful slumber. But the rights to have your most prized possession back were on the line here.

Looking back on your fishing rod, you inspected that the string was wrapped securely around the apple slice. When everything checked out, you scanned for an area that would be perfect for launching the slice at. You decided that the center of the room would be the perfect place since it would be within the perfect range of Applejack’s scent pick up.

Taking a deep but silenced breath, you delicately tossed the apple slice toward its designated area where it landed with a soft *plunk* onto the carpet. This was enough for Applejack’s ears to suddenly perk up and face the direction of the sudden sound.

“Uhh...what?” she asked groggily before rubbing sleep from her eyes. With her muzzle now exposed to the air, she immediately caught scent of the apple slice. The emerald pupils in her eyes went suddenly wide and drool began to seep from a corner of her mouth. This is exactly the reaction you were counting on.

Once she managed to spot the location of where the slice was on the floor, she got into a pouncing stance. You prepared to yank at the string at just the right time so she would miss it. Teasing was a mean thing to do, but it sort of served Applejack right for taking unconsented borrowship of something that belonged to you.

When Applejack finally launched herself off, you reflexly tugged at the rod which caused the slice to jump out of the way before Applejack could get it in her paws.

“What ‘n tarnation?” she asked with a look of utter look of perplexity on her face. To her, how could something inanimate like a slice of a delicious apple instinctively escape her grasp on its own? Whatever the reason: she wanted that apple slice, and it would be hers for the taking!

You had to mask your giggles at Applejack’s multiple failed attempts to snatch the apple slice as you gradually pulled it toward your direction.

Soon enough, the slice was outside the entry frame to the living room where you were stationed, and staged to ambush the unsuspecting apple-loving pony/cat.

“Ah got ya this time,” you hear Applejack say before you see her jump out and onto the apple slice finally.

“Gotcha!” she proclaimed.

“Ditto,” you say before picking up the now surprised, and fussy Applejack.

“Hey? What gives? Put me down this instant!” she cried as she tried to squirm free of your grasp, but to no avail. You simply smiled and brought her between your neck and chin to embrace her in a loving snuggle, which she protested against by continuing to struggle.

“Now now,” you coo. “You’ve been a bad girl tonight, and I had to find some means of discipline.”

“By trickin’ me out of mah sleep, an’ outta mah new favorite place to nap?” Applejack grumbled with an unamused frown. Her ears tucked back to show her displeasure.

“Sort of...yeah,” you reply a bit sheepishly. Applejack just huffs and contorts her face to a pout with both her cheeks being dramatically puffed out. She also refuses to make eye-contact with you.

“Your punishment is over now though… if we can make an agreement,” you say after a brief moment of silence. This seems to spark a little interest in Applejack; but not really enough for her to look at you.

“An’ what might that be?” she asks with a minor hint of disdain in her tone, but it doesn’t phase you.

“How about you rest in my lap while I sit in the chair? It’ll be great having your company while I write my stories. What do you say?”

Applejack finally looked back at you with an expression of now uncertainty.

“Ah don’t know. Ah’ve never really considered mahself a lap-pet.”

“Would you give it a chance, for this?” you ask while presenting the apple slice to her. It was still wrapped in the fishing string, but it could easily be removed by untying the knot holding the loop in place.

Applejack looked tempted by the sight of the succulent and delicious fruit, but seemed to still be hesitant with her answer at first. Thankfully, a small smile soon formed on her muzzle and she gave a small approving nod.

“Alright. Ah’ll give it a whirl,” she said.

Nodding yourself, you steadily maneuvered your arms and hands to where you’ll still be able to hold Applejack while being able to untie the loop to free the apple slice. Once you got it free, you put the slice to Applejack’s mouth where she immediately began to nibble at it greedily. When it was all gone, you allowed her to lick the edges of your finger tips which had residue from the fruit. It tickled a little since her tongue felt like moist sandpaper. Hey, at least it’s better than dry sandpaper right?

Once Applejack was done licking your finger tips, she let out a yawn before emitting out a happy purr as she nuzzled closer to your chest as fell fast asleep. You assumed she must still be very tired from waking her up from her previous napping session.

You could only let out an amused chuckle as you delicately planted a gentle goodnight kiss on her forehead, followed by affectionately petting her mane. You then walked back into the living room where your computer and chair awaited you with Applejack held securely and lovingly in your grasp.

Since it was quite the night, you were bound to think about something interesting to write indeed. What exactly? That couldn’t be said… not just yet.