The Gift

by RealmOMFG

Rating: teen
Tags: Scootaloo, Spitfire, Dark, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1549

Dash has been away on Wonderbolt business for what seems like forever. Poor Scootaloo can't wait any longer to see her hero. What else to do but ship herself by mail?

Dash has been away on Wonderbolt business for what seems like forever. Poor Scootaloo can't wait any longer to see her hero. What else to do but ship herself by mail?

Based on the "song" of the same name, "The Gift" by Velvet Underground
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qkM7Tp3IvY

Warning: Dark humor, of a violent nature.

Published 2016-12-19 07:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-19 07:40:01 UTC

The Gift

On the foot of her bed, lay a small orange pegasus pony. She was curled into a ball, staring blankly and with utmost disinterest at the wall in front of her. What else to do in times such as these?

Scootaloo’s honorary sister, role model, and best friend Rainbow Dash, had recently achieved her dream of becoming a Wonderbolt. Obviously, Scootaloo was ecstatic to hear the news, not as much so as Dash herself of course, but she really couldn’t help but share in the cheer felt by one pony most dear to her.

Perhaps though, Scootaloo may have felt somewhat differently at the time, had she known what it’d mean for the near future. She was beginning to miss her sis an awful lot. Sure, Dash dropped in for a visit now and again, and they wrote letters and such. But it just hadn’t been the same the last few months. Scootaloo let of a deep sigh. In reality, it’d only been a few months; She couldn't help but feel like it’d been much, much longer.

She pondered whatever she’d occupy herself with this fateful day. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were busy doing their own things. AB was attending a minor family gathering of sorts, and Sweetie was with Rarity in Manhattan. Scootaloo hadn’t anything more to do than what she was already: Staring at the wall, slowly dying of ever-loving boredom. Once more, for what was likely at least the 50th time that day, exhaled a deep, tired sigh.

She turned her head towards the desk sitting nicely up against the corner of her room; perhaps she could write Dash a letter? She hadn’t done that for a few days…

After glaring at the desk for a near eternity, she shrugged quite the un-enthused shrug and pushed herself up from the comfort of her bed. Scootaloo stretched her small wings, and cracked her back, before proceeding to hop off her bed and make her way towards the writing desk. Once seated, she grabbed a fresh sheet of paper, and her favorite cyan blue ball point pen. She began to write.

“Hey Dash, it’s me. Your number one fan and the bestest little sis a pony could have. Heh… Anyways. How’s it going with the bolts? Last I heard it was going alright. But y’know… just wanna check and see if you’re still doing cool. Honestly though you probably are… cause you’re always cool.... I miss you. I miss just being able to hang out, you know? I guess you would know. What with you actually being the one gone and all. We haven’t had much time to just chill… I mean, yea, we’ve been sending letters I guess. Though really, a part of me wishes I could just send myself…”

Scootaloo stopped writing.

“Though really, a part of me wishes I could just send myself…”

Scootaloo simply couldn’t help but re-read that last part multiple times over.

Was it really too nonsensical an idea though? It’d feasibly be rather simple. In fact it’d objectively be pretty simple. Yea, yea that’s right! Pfft- what was there to be worried about? The more Scootaloo thought about it, the more entirely possible the idea seemed. The more she pondered it, the more it seemed like a foolproof plan. It could actually be broken down into three real easy to follow steps.

1) Find box big enough to fit inside comfortably, for some decent amount of time.
2)Find somepony willing to mail said box to Wonderbolts HQ
3)Surprise Rainbow Dash with jolly good fun times

Holy hell, was this plan magnificent. Scootaloo had half a mind time reward herself a well earned pat on the back for her creative thinking and masterful problem solving.

“Yep!” She thought. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Later that evening, the young filly had acquired a box, and completed the first two steps of her plan. Somehow she had gotten some school pony she was somewhat acquainted with to agree to this crazy scheme. They had met up at the post office, she’d already gotten all the mailing information and whatnot sorted out, she’d packed water and a snack in case the trip took a few hours. And lastly, the small colt that had agreed to help out, tightly sealed the box shut with boxing tape, and poked any and all needed air holes.

It was all coming together.

Scootaloo could hardly contain her excitement. Just imaging Dash’s face when she opens the box to be bombarded by a storm of fluffy orange pegasus hugs caused Scoots to sport quite the goofy grin.

At 6:00 sharp, as expected, she was picked up and hauled into a crate to be delivered. And while Scootaloo may not have been able to control the happiness and anticipation she felt, sitting in a box alone and staring into the darkness within wasn’t her ideal way to pass time. So she decided to make herself as comfortable as she could, then proceeded to take a nap. It warmed her heart to know, upon waking, she’d likely be moments from surprising the one and only Rainbow Dash, and filling her day with all the more joy. She lay peacefully and allowed her eyelids to become heavy, and drift shut. It was a good day.

Soft voices wift past Scootaloo’s ears. First one, then two. One that the young pegasus couldn’t quite place, it did however sound familiar. The other though, well of course she’d know that scratchy voice anywhere. That oh so distinct voice belonged to none other than miss Rainbow Dash. Scootaloo awoke from her short and sweet nap, with an adorable little filly yawn, followed by was little stretching she could do within the cramped space of the box.

At first, still somewhat tired from the rest, Scootaloo couldn’t really bother herself to tune too much into the conversation Dash and the other likely to be Wonderbolt where having. That quickly changed though when she picked up on Dash exclaiming excitedly, that she was gonna “open it.”

Scootaloo perked up immediately, this was it. This was it! The anticipation was almost too much. She knew exactly what she was gonna do, as soon as the box lid came up, she’d pounce up like a baby rabbit, and playfully tackle Dash to the ground. Her face lit up at the thought of maybe giving her idol a small bit of a scare. Usually it was Rainbow getting the jump on her or others, but this time the scripts have been flipped. It took just about all Scootaloo’s self control not to giggle, thus giving away her position.

It was time to tune into Dash’s conversation.

“I’m telling you!” Dash stated joyously. “If it’s from the squirt, it’s bound to be awesome!”

The high ranking Wonderbolts member, by the name of Spitfire chuckled. “If you say so Crash, It's pretty cute what you two have going on. I wouldn’t peg you as a softie.”

“Hey now” Dash retorted. “I’m no softie. I just know Scoots has been missing me is all. I’ve just been so busy lately, y’know?”

“Yea, I suppose I do.”

“Anyways” Dash smiled, “Let’s see what the twirp sent me this time.”

Scootaloo’s smile painted itself across her face. “Here it comes!” She thought to herself.

“Hmm..” Dash grunted. She was seeming to have a few problems getting the box open. The young colt had really outdone himself with the tape, he’d certainly made sure to tape with the very best efficiency.

“Here, I got you.” Spitfire stated, having just retrieved a large knife from the kitchen,

Rainbow Dash frowned. “That's… A bit much. I don’t wanna damage whatever's inside.”

“Yea, well.” Huffed the yellow pegasus. “It’s all we’ve got. No box cutters to be seen. Just make due.”

Dash took the knife, and sighed. “Fine.” She moaned. “But if whatever this is breaks, you’re helping replace it.”

Dash brought the knife up, and held her breath, hoping dearly that whatever inside either wasn’t large enough to be hit with the knife, or was tough enough so as to not be damaged by the blade.
But little did she know.

And with that, she swung down, puncturing the tape, the box, and certainly whatever was inside. When Dash removed the knife, all to be found was a sort of dark red liquid now leaking from the box.

She was speechless…

But Spitfire wasn’t: “Bro…… Da fuq.”

The End.

Author's Note

Oh boy. What am I doing with my life? :twilightsheepish:

Anyhow, hope you all enjoyed. (Probably if you're not the sorta person to find shit like this funny in a kinda of twisted and fucked up way, then it's likely you didn't enjoy it.)

Maybe one day I could write a story that's actually maybe kinda happy? :derpytongue2:
See, cause the other two stories I've got on the burner right now are also rather macabre to a degree. One about Twi accidentally killing somepony while using magic, then hilarity ensues when she tries to cover it up.

Maybe my next story though will just be a cutesy ship fic. Idk. PinkieDash most likely. Only unlike "When Rainbows Cry" there will probably be a lack of depressing pony suicide attempts. Anywho. Till next time. :heart: