Profile Of A Party Pony

by Akatsuki Tenshi

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad, Other, Princess Luna, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Tragedy, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6409

Following the Events of Cupcakes the BAU is called into ponyville to investigate

Criminal Minds Meets PONIES. Rainbow Dash has dissapeared, as well as several otherm ponies from the ponyville area. the princesses are baffled and desperate. the alicorns turn to the elite task force the Behavioural Analysis Unit for help. the mares and stallions of the BAU rush to ponyville to uncover the dark horrors of ponykind's most well hidden natures.

Published 2012-06-29 20:44:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-29 20:44:03 UTC

Chapter 1: Royal COnference

Chapter 1- Royal Conference

“Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty. Cupcakes! Don’t be too hasty. Cupcakes! Cupcakes, Cupcakes Cupcakes!”

X~X

JJ trotted quickly through the BAU office. She was nervously checking around to ensure things were in top shape. Her sunshine yellow mane was swept to the side off her face ensure she looked professional and capable.

JJ usually didn’t get so up in a twist over guest to the office. But royalty didn’t usually come calling either.

Hotch assembled the rest of the team in the conference room. As per JJ’s request, allowing the media liaison time to confer with the princesses.

Reid, Morgan and Prentiss all stood sneakily peaking through the blinds at the bull pen. All three were taken by awe as two regal alicorns swept in.

JJ bowed deeply, “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.”

“Agent Jareau.” Celestia greeted kindly, “I wish we came with better tidings but, we have a very important case for your team.”

“Of course Princess. Shall I take down the details and talk to the team?”

“No,” Luna said glancing towards the conference room. She had to fight very hard to keep a small smile off her face at the three pairs of curious eyes watching her and her elder sister through the shutters, “its better we inform them directly.”

“As you wish your majesties.” JJ spoke nervously, “If you would follow me.”

X~X

Celestia conjured a picture of a young Pegasus, with a pale blue coat and a tomboy-ish-ly cut rainbow streaked mane.

“This is Rainbow Dash.” The daylight princess explained to the profilers, “Chief weather Pegasus of Ponyville.”

Morgan leaned forward to closer study the picture, “She was the winner of the Best Young Flier competition in Cloudsdayle last year. She flew so fast she achieved a Sonic Rainboom.”

“That’s Dash.” Celestia allowed a bit of pride to enter her voice. Then her expression fell, “Rainbow has been missing for 2 days now. There’s no trace of her anywhere.” The elder princess’s voice began to choke up so Luna took over the briefing.

“Dash isn’t the first to disappear either. Only a few days before Dash’s disappearance a little filly from the local school went missing. Twist. She’s just a child, only had her cutie mark for a month.” Luna looked sadly at the screen as the image of a bright happy young filly filled it.

“We’ve also received a report that a young griffon who’d been visiting Ponyville never made it home. Her name is Gilda.” Princess Celestia had gathered herself again, “As well as a few dozen other ponies in and around Ponyville to just up and disappear.”

“We want you,” Luna addressed everypony with a quick look, “to go to Ponyville and investigate.”

“Any local law enforcement to work with?” Rossi asked.

“No official police force, but my apprentice, Twilight Sparkle, is more than willing to help you. She’s very intelligent, dedicated to her studies, and has agreed to grant you access to the Ponyville Library where she lives and works whenever you need it, “Celestia explained, “She’s also been kind enough to take the liberty of booking you all rooms at the local inn.”

“Sounds good. Thank you very much Princesses.” Hotch gave the royal alicorns a low respectful bow, “Alright team, get yourselves ready. I expect you all ready to go in an hour. We’re heading to Ponyville.”

X~X

The team assembled and was settling in for the journey when Hotch called their attentions to the case, “we need to start building a preliminary profile. With this many missing, I want to hit the ground running after this unsub.”

“Well he doesn’t seem to have a particular type,” Rossi offered, “Fillies, colts, mares and stallions. No accounting for age or gender.”

“So he’s diverse. Now here’s the big question,” Prentiss began, “What’s he doing with them?”

“No bodies have been found. And no evidence to suggest that any of the missing are dead.” Hotch said thoughtfully. Though his expression remained that of the usual blank, his team knew that there was a part of him holding onto the desperate hope that these ponies may still be alive and safe.

Though he hated to have to burst that hopeful bubble Reid spoke up solemnly, “but with this number of victims I think we can safely assume that everypony that’s missing is dead. If he were keeping them all alive there’d have been a sign of somepony by now. The number of missing is too extensive to assume they are alive. And even if we were to be idealistic about it, the profiles of a kidnapper and murderer are different.”

This statement was followed by tensed silence, broken only when Hotch sighed, “Reid’s right. So we look at this as serial killings rather than abductions. JJ” he turned to acknowledge the pretty butter yellow mare to his left, “you and I will go meet up with this Twilight Sparkle and get ourselves set up. Morgan and Prentiss,” turned now t the dark brown stallion and the charcoal gray mare, “Canvas the neighbourhoods, and talk to any of the most recent victim’s friends. See if anypony knows where she was heading when she disappeared. Rossi and Reid,” turned finally to the elder stallion with the greying salt and pepper mane, and the gawky youth, “Go to Rainbow Dash’s house, see if there is anything useful.”

Each member of the team nodded their understanding, and silences descended upon the BAU as each pony lost themselves in thoughts of the new horrors of pony kind they were sure to uncover in this case.

Chapter 2: The Hunt Begins

Chapter 2- The Hunt Begins

Twilight Sparkle stood by as the BAU ponies exited the train. She picked out the leader at a glance. He stood straight and tall, wearing a no nonsense business suit complete with muted colour tie. He held an air of authority around him, his dark eyes found her. She was alarmed by the inherit lack of humour in them; she’d never known anypony to have so little light.

“Twilight Sparkle?” he approached her. He held out a hoof, all the while maintaining his lack of expression.

“That’s me.” The lavender pony took the agents hoof, “You’d be Agent Hotchner then?”

“That’s right,” he then turned to introduce the members of his team, “these are, agents; Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau and Doctor Reid.”

Twilight gave each pony a friendly nod as their name was said, “How’d you like to do this?”

“Agent Jareau and I would like to go and get set up in the library while Morgan and Prentiss do a quick neighbourhood canvas, while Rossi and Reid are going to Dash’s house.”

Twilight turned to Reid and Rossi, “You’ll need my help for that one. Dash’s house is on a cloud. I have a spell that will allow you to walk on them.”

“Sounds good Ms. Sparkle. Thank you.” Rossi gave Twilight a kind smile.

Twilight returned the smile, “Just Twilight please. Okay let’s see if I remember this spell correctly.” She thought hard and as she did her horn began to glow. The light slowly expanded soon engulfing Rossi and Reid. After a moment the light rescinded. Reid was inspecting himself expecting something to have changed.

“Did it work?” he asked.
Twilight grinned, “Yeah it did. Go see Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corners, she’ll lend you the hot air balloon to get you to Dash’s house, then once you get on the cloud you’ll be set.”

“Alright everypony, meet back at the library when you’re done.” Hotch gave his team a brisk nod and each pony set off to their tasks.

X~X

Rossi and Reid made their way towards Sugarcube Corners. As they approached the large cupcake resembling building Rossi stopped, “I think I’m becoming diabetic just looking at it.”

Reid pushed the door open and glanced around the shop. It was a homey cozy little place. The agents barely made it through the entrance when they were suddenly accosted by a bouncing pink blur.

“Hey there. Welcome to Sugarcube Corners. I’m Pinkie Pie, what can I get you today?”

Reid blinked in astonishment at the hyperactive pink... thing. She bounded in circles around the room. He’d never heard somepony speak so fast. Even he couldn’t entirely process her entire statement due to the lack of breath she took.

Rossi shook his head to reorganize his thoughts. He was just as taken aback by the overwhelming force that was Ponyville’s number one party pony. “Pinkie Pie? I`m Agent Dave Rossi, this is Doctor Spencer Reid. A miss Twilight Sparkle told us you could...”

The rest of Rossi’s statement was cut off as Pinkie let out a squee of delight, “You’re the FBI guys! You’re the ones that want to help find out Dashie!” She took a few more excited bounds around the room, “Twi told me you’d be coming. I’ll get the balloon in a jiffy. But first have some cupcakes.”

Reid was having a very hard time keeping the bewildered expression off his face, “Well thank you very much for offering but...”

“No no, I insist!” Pinkie bounced into the kitchen just off the main store, she returned with a small tray of cupcakes in her mouth. She set them on a table by the agents, “You’re new to Ponyville. So take these cupcakes as a welcome.”

An idea seemed to strike the pink pony. She let out a melodramatic gasp, her blue eyes went wide and she jumped up with a squee of ecstasy. Reid could have sworn he saw a light bulb go on over her head, “I know what I’ll do! I’ll throw you guys a party, a ‘Welcome to Ponyville, thanks for helping’ party. It’ll be great! We’ll have cake and ice-cream, and punch and play game and...”

“Oh no, no thank you Pinkie Pie.” Rossi said hesitantly, “as lovely as that sounds, we’re here to do a job and that’s got to be our first priority. No time for parties.”

The agents froze in shock as the pink pony’s entire demeanour changed instantly. Her face fell, her eyes watered, her lower lip trembled. Even her poufy pink curls deflated, “n-no time for a party.” She sniffled.

Reid saw the danger and reacted as quickly as possible, “Well of course we have time for a party,” he said awkwardly glancing at Rossi who was staring at the younger stallion as if he’d lost his mind, “but why don’t we hold off on the party until after the case is solved. That way we can celebrate it finishing and you can thank us properly.”

In the blink of an eye Pinkie changed right back to the excitable bouncy thing she had been, “Oooo that’s a great idea! And that way I have more time to plan and get things ready. I can make lots and lots of delicious new cupcakes by then.”
She pushed the forgotten tray towards the agents, “No come on have a cupcake while I go get you that balloon.”

Reid and Rossi looked at the tray. It was filled with blue iced cupcakes covered in rainbow sprinkles. They glanced at each other, the cupcakes did look tempting.

“How can we say no to homemade cupcakes?” Rossi said with a shrug reaching forward and grabbing one. Reid followed suit. The agents each devoured their cupcakes. They really were delicious.

Chapter 3: Into The Clouds

Chapter 3- Into The Clouds

Morgan and Prentiss trotted through Ponyville, a half hour in and neither seemed to have anything but well wishes and hope of finding the missing alive and well.

Morgan was staggered by the positivity of the ponies. He had to remind himself that not everypony lived in the horrendous darkness he saw everyday of his career. He felt a horrible twinge of sadness as he realized that by the end of this case this bright, happy and innocent village will be forcefully plunged into understanding the darkest natures of pony kind.

Morgan spotted a young Pegasus mare, a pale yellow coat with a light pink mane falling into her face, a cutie mark depicting three pink butterflies. Large turquoise coloured eyes held a shining innocence Morgan had never seen in an adult before.

He approached her and was alarmed by the sudden flash of terror he saw flit across those shining orbs.

“It’s alright miss,” Morgan said, carefully charming the Pegasus, “my name is Derek, this is Emily. We’re with the FBI. What’s your name?”

The pink haired mare said something in a whisper so small neither agent could make it out.

“I’m sorry,” Prentiss said kindly smiling at the painfully shy pony, “what was that.”

“Fluttershy.” She whispered again, now audible enough to understand.

“Well Fluttershy, we just wanted to ask if maybe you know anything about the disappearance of Rainbow Dash.”

Sadness overtook Fluttershy’s delicate features, “Rainbow Dash is one of my best friends.” She muttered looking at the ground.

“I’m very sorry for your loss Fluttershy.” Prentiss said consolingly. The Pegasus looked up at the elder mare, small tears forming in her eyes.

“The last time I saw Dash she was saying something about a pranking date with Pinkie. Oh but I’m sure Pinkie has already told you that.”

“Actually she hadn’t.” Morgan said thoughtfully

“Oh, oh no.” Fluttershy suddenly looked petrified, “I don’t want to get Pinkie Pie in trouble.”

“You haven’t,” Prentiss reassured, “I’m sure it just slipped her mind.”

“Pinkie is pretty scatterbrained.” Fluttershy smiled just a little then her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with a hoof, “Oh that was rude to say.”

Morgan couldn’t help but smile at Fluttershy’s absolute cuteness, “It’s alright, we all have friends like that. Anyway thank you very much. You’ve been very helpful,”

“I-I have.” The shy little Pegasus seemed surprised at herself.

“Yes you have.” Prentiss gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, “Thank you Fluttershy. Have a nice day.”

The agents turned to leave when Fluttershy suddenly seemed to have discovered the concept of vocal volume, “Please find Rainbow Dash!” She called after them.

Morgan felt that terrible blade of sadness once again stab him. He knew he wasn’t going to find Rainbow Dash alive, but he couldn’t bring himself to harm the pure innocence of the yellow Pegasus. So he sucked in a breath and put on his best reassuring face, “We’ll do our best.”

X~X

Reid held tightly to the sides of the basket of the hot air balloon. Desperately avoiding looking down. Rossi sat opposite his young partner smirking at the doctor’s discomfort.

“You alright Reid? Not going to purge that delicious cupcake are you? It would be such a waste.”

Reid glared darkly at the elder profiler. His face had taken on a nasty tinge of green. He would have retorted but felt it unwise to open his mouth until he was inside Rainbow Dash’s house at least that was semi-solid ground.

“According to Pinkie Pie’s coordinates we’re right outside of Cloudsdayle, Dash’s house isn’t far from here.” Rossi glanced around. He could see the Pegasus city of Cloudsdayle. He offered a smile and a friendly wave at a young Pegasus with a gray coat, yellow mane and brilliant yellow eyes that stared in different directions. She was looking at the agents in confusion as she flew by.

She seemed to lose her coordination and flew directly into the side of the balloons carrier basket. Rossi quickly leaned over the side and pulled her in before she could fall and hurt herself.

“Are you alright miss?” Rossi asked with concern.

“Yeah I’m okay.” She said pulling herself into a sitting position, “Are you the guys who are gonna find Rainbow Dash?” she had a cute little almost child-like voice. Rossi couldn’t help but smile when he saw the pattern of bubbles as her cutie mark.

“That we are. Maybe you could help us out.”

“Really?” she smiled hugely, joy filling her odd eyes, “No pony ever lets me help! What can I do?”

“Can you direct us to Dash’s house?”

“Yeah sure. Here I’ll pull you there. It’s not far.” She soared out of the balloon and grabbed a rope hanging over the end of the basket. She then dragged the five times her size balloon towards a lone house on a cloud just on the outskirts of the main city.

She strained herself at the weight of the balloon. The movement of the aircraft become choppy and erratic. The tinge of green in Reid’s face had darkened considerably and curled himself into a ball in the basket to avoid purging his stomach contents on the unsuspecting citizens of Ponyville below. He smiled slightly to himself as he imagined the one in a million chances that it would be Morgan walking directly under the balloon at the time.

In the less than three mile pull to Rainbow Dash’s house the bubble marked Pegasus had managed to twist and turn and entangle herself in the rope so she was stuck dangling upside down off the side of the basket. The odd placement of weight nearly upending the balloon entirely.

As soon as the balloon touched cloud Reid leapt out skidding on the fluffy surface nuzzling his face appreciatively on it. Rossi now horrible shaky from the ride took a moment to resolidify himself before he and Reid turned to the entangled Pegasus. They managed to undo the rope and she stumbled onto the cloud.

“Thank you very much for the help... um...” Rossi realized he’d never gotten her name

“I’m Derpy.” She said happily holding out a hoof.

“Well thanks Derpy.” Rossi shook her hoof and the Pegasus took off, flying in loops back to Cloudsdayle.

Rossi and Reid looked at each other in amazement. These were some ‘interesting’ ponies.

X~X

“Not much in here.” Reid commented looking around Dash’s small house. It was basis, with a small kitchen, a bit of an entranceway and a little bedroom. “Dash doesn’t seem to have spent much time here, really just a place to eat and sleep.”
Rossi was in the bedroom looking though Rainbow’s dresser. He didn’t expect to find anything useful. He tried to hold onto a bit of optimism. But the only case breaking thing he could find this early into the game would be a note saying ‘I was killed by –insert ponicidal psycho’s name here- sincerely Rainbow Dash.’ And well that just wasn’t going to happen.

His eyes scanned over the small bookshelf in the corner loaded with the complete volumes of Daring Doo’s adventures. He grinned a bit, he knew the books well. On top of the shelf was Dash’s trophy for Cloudsdayle’s best young flier, a picture of a filly Rainbow Dash and the also missing griffon Gilda at junior flight camp, and an ornately framed photo of six smiling mares. Rossi recognized Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. There was also a regal looking white unicorn with a deep purple mane, and orange mare wearing a cowboy hate over a sandy blonde mane, and a pale yellow Pegasus with a light pink mane. They looked happy, Dash grinning standing on her hindlegs in the background, on forehoof resting on Twilight Sparkle’s head.

Rossi’s smile faded from his face when he remembered that Dash would never smile like that again. Never stand with a group of happy friends, never return home, never even finish the Daring Doo series if the book missing from the shelf was any hint as to how far in she was. He felt saddened by this. Every victim awoke these feelings in him. An innocent happy life stolen from a good pony. It was unfair to see such light snuffed out.

“Oh, hello.” Reid said from the next room. Rossi trotted in and was surprised to see a flying tortoise. Well not really flying, he was harnessed into a helicopter contraption that allowed him to become airborne. He was hovering at eye level with Reid, who was staring at him in confusion.

“Must be Dash’s pet.” Rossi commented approaching the airborne reptile. He looked at the small name tag around the animal’s neck, “well hello there Tank.”

Tank the Tortoise smiled at the agents. Then looked expectantly down at his empty food bowl.

“Oh you haven’t been fed since Rainbow Dash disappeared right?” Reid asked the reptile not really expecting an answer. He was taken aback when the tortoise shook his head no.

“Wait what?” Reid exclaimed, “Somepony has been in here?” of somepony had been in Dash’s house and evidence found may be contaminated. Reid pulled a cell phone out of the satchel he carried, setting it on the counter he began dialling Hotch’s number when the door opened.

“Tank!” a small distinctly female voice called out, “Time for lunch.”

Rossi and Reid poised themselves as the pink manned Pegasus from Rainbow Dash’s picture entered the room. Upon seeing the agents she let out a terrified squeak of dismay.

“Miss we’re agents with the FBI. We’re going to have to ask you to go outside for a moment and wait for us. We have questions we have to ask you.” Rossi said to the traumatized looking mare.

She squeaked again and slowly backed out of the house, “Reid go talk to her. I’ll finish things up in here.”

The younger agent nodded and followed the Pegasus outside. He found her nervously hoofing the cloud, a blush of fear and embarrassment was dusted across her cheeks.

“Miss, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid.” He approached slowly no wanting to startle her, “You’re not in any trouble, and I just have to ask you what you were doing here.”

“Feeding Tank of course” the Pegasus said, “Since Rainbow Dash has been gone no pony’s been around to take care of the poor dear, so I’ve been coming by and feeding him every day.

“What’s your name?”

The young mare stared down at her hoofs and muttered, “Fluttershy.”

Reid tried not to smile too much at her. He was reminded quite a bit of how he himself had used to be. Very shy and withdrawn, confident only in his intelligence as she seemed to be with animals, “Well Fluttershy, you have to understand that there may have been evidence in the house that we could have used to find Dash.”

Fluttershy let out a gasp of horror, “oh no are you saying I ruined your investigation, oh I’m so sorry. I was just trying to be helpful. It didn’t seem right to let an innocent little animal like Tank suffer. Oh I didn’t mean to mess things up, and after those other agents told me I helped them too.”

She probably would have kept going if Reid hadn’t help up a hoof to stop her, “Other agents? You’ve already spoken to someone on our team?”

“Oh yes. Agent’s Morgan and Prentiss.”

Rossi came out with Tank flying alongside him. The older agent held the tortoise’s food bowl in his mouth, which he placed at Fluttershy’s feet, “Well it looks like there was really nothing to have found anyways. So no harm done. Why don’t you take Tank home with you and you can care for him there.”

“Really?” Fluttershy smiled shyly, “Oh thank you. I’m so sorry I almost messed things up for you.”

“Not at all, Fluttershy was it? No harm no foul and if you’ve already helped our team, we’re all good and you’re free to go on home with Tank.”

“Oh okay. Bye then.” She bent to pick up Tank’s bowl when she looked back up at the agents. Admiration and appreciation shining in her innocent eyes, and said, “Thank you so much for coming to help my friend.” And with that she lifted the bowl and she along with Tank the tortoise flew back down to Ponyville.

“We should have asked her for help with the balloon,” Reid said glancing apprehensively at their only way back to solid ground, “Derpy was sweet but I’m not letting her help us again.”

Chapter 4: Next Number

Chapter 4- Next Number

Pinkie Pie bounded around her dungeon. She was just told the next number; Ms. Cheerile from the school was her next playmate. Pinkie couldn’t be happier; she’d always adored Cheerile and was sure they’d have great fun together. There was also the matter of the FBI ponies. Pinkie knew she should be worried about them poking around, but couldn’t help but look at their presences as a new kind of game. It would be fun to dodge around them and throw little tricks and clue their way.

“It’s like chess, clue and hide & seek all in one.” Pinkie giggled joyously. She plopped down on the floor next to Rainbow Dash.

“Those two agents I met enjoyed your cupcakes Dash.” Pinkie happily told her friend, “I knew they would, you were absolutely scrumptious.”

She waited a beat looking over at Rainbow Dash’s expertly preserved form. Her cyan coat sleek, colourful mane soft, amethyst coloured eyes staring blankly ahead, eerily reflecting the light in the room. With that artificial shine in them one could almost believe Rainbow was still alive.

Pinkie sighed, “Not much of a talker mow-a-days eh Dash?” she then rolled onto her back giggling. A few moments of insane laughter and Pinkie leapt to her feet. Time to go see Ms. Cheerile.

X~X

JJ and Hotch had just finished setting up their murder boards in the Ponyville Library when the rest of the team walked in.

“Find anything useful at Dash’s house?” Hotch addressed Reid and Rossi first.

“Nothing but a flying tortoise.” Rossi said with a casual shrug earning him strange looks from the rest of the team, excluding Reid, “Dash’s pet. We turned him over to Fluttershy.”

“Oh I’d forgotten all about Tank.” Twilight Sparkle face-hoofed, “It was a good idea letting Fluttershy take him. She’ll take good care of him.”

“We met her too. She was the only pony to give us anything useful.” Morgan said.

“What did she tell you?” Hotch asked grabbing a marker in his muzzle and trotting to one of the boards.

“Apparently the last time she spoke to Dash she’d mentioned having a pranking date with Pinkie Pie.”

Hotch turned to Reid, “Did Pinkie say anything about that?”

Reid answered immediately, having remember every word spoken in Sugarcube Corners, or at least every word that wasn’t spoken at the speed of sound, “No she didn’t. But she seems very...” Reid found himself not for the first time that day searching for the right word to associate with Pinkie Pie, “eccentric, she probably didn’t even remember.”

“Pinkie is kind of odd.” Twilight confirmed, “And if Dash never showed up it may have slipped her mind entirely.”

“Fluttershy said the same thing.” Prentiss pointed out.

“Still,” Hotch said, “somepony should go talk to her again; she may very well have been the last pony to see Rainbow Dash.”

“I’ll go.” Rossi readily volunteered, “Maybe she’ll give me another cupcake.”

The team had collectively rolled their eyes, until Morgan seemed to clue into what Rossi had said, “She had cupcakes?” he asked hopefully.

X~X

“Awe don’t cry Cheerile.” Pinkie consoled the older mare. Cheerile was chained down her mane in disarray, her deep purple coat slathered in her own blood. A chunk of flesh was missing from her flank where Pinkie had carved out her cutie mark.
Tears streaked down the teacher pony’s face, slowly etching lines through the gore that had splattered across her cheeks and muzzle as Pinkie had worked. She’d been overjoyed when Pinkie had offered to bake cupcakes for the class, and hurried right over to Sugarcube Corners to set everything up.

She’d only turned her back on Pinkie for a second when she felt a dull pain in the back of her head, a moment before the world swam around her descending into unaware darkness. She’d awoken confused, disoriented and unable to move. As her eyes adjusted to the grim lighting horrors the like of which Cheerile had never imagined surrounded her.

She’d struggled against her bonds, causing the chains to bite brutally into her flesh, and screamed out for help. The mutilated bodies of her own students, her friends and other innocent citizens of Ponyville hung around her. Like some macabre decor out of a demonic home sense magazine.

Her eyes darted desperately around the dungeon, searching for some way out of this nightmarish hell hole. They landed on what had at first appeared to be a live pony standing against the wall. She’d cried out to her, begging for help. Then as she began to make out who the pony was, Cheerile pales in disbelieving terror. Rainbow Dash? What was she doing down here, when all of Ponyville and the FBI were searching high and low for her? What was she a part of?

Then Pinkie entered the room. She smiled at Cheerile, “Oh you noticed Dashie huh?” she trotted towards the still stationary Pegasus, “didn’t I do such a good job? I never considered myself a taxidermist but Rainbow turned out great right?”
It was then that Cheerile began to cry. She knew in that moment that she was going to die.

The shock of betrayal was almost more than the physical pain Cheerile was suffering. She whimpered hopelessly when Pinkie turned back towards her, the kitchen knife in her smiling mouth.

In a slash of silver the harsh steel came down on Cheerile’s shoulder. Her scream bounced off the gore caked walls, reverberating in her own ears. She felt her muscles and tendons being torn apart by the unrelenting metal. Warm blood flowed down her foreleg. The pain reached unbearable heights as Pinkie hacked through the nerve endings.

Cheerile shrieked louder than she thought she was capable of. Then the world fell away into bleak blissfully numb darkness.
Pinkie finished her work on Cheerile’s shoulder leaving the teacher’s left foreleg hanging onto the rest of her body by a small scrap of dangling flesh. She sighed when she saw that the elder mare gad passed out. At least she held up better than Rainbow Dash. Pinkie knew it was time to end Cheerile’s part of the game. She considered forcing her awake with an adrenaline shot, but decided to allow Cheerile her numb ignorance. Pinkie lowered head and bit into the purple pony’s mane raising her head. Knife held in hoof she dragged the blade across Cheerile’s throat and allowed her life to drain away.

X~X
“Hello?” Rossi called out as he and Morgan trotted into Sugarcube Corners. He could smell something baking in the kitchen. The always hungry Italian part of his mind hoped Pinkie would offer them some of the fresh Cupcakes, “Pinkie Pie?”

“Ooooh Agent Rossi!” Pinkie bounced out of the kitchen, spots of cake batter dotting her grinning face, “Need more help with the case? How can Auntie Pinkie Pie Assist today?” She bounded in circles while Rossi took a moment to wrap his mind around the fact that he was at least a decade older than her. “Oh, you’re not Dr. Reid. I’m Pinkie Pie! Who’re you?”

“Umm, Derek Morgan.” He answered watching Pinkie bounce, he saw what Reid and Twilight meant by eccentric and odd. “Is that how she always walks?” he mused silently.

“Pinkie.” Rossi said gently laying a hoof on her shoulder forcing her to stop bouncing, “We have to ask you a couple of questions, do you have a moment to talk with us?”

“Well sure I do.” Pinkie said happily, “just let me get those cupcakes out of the oven. Can’t let them burn they’re for the foals at the school.”

Rossi felt his hope of food wither and die, only to be delightfully rekindled as Pinkie returned with the last of the rainbow sprinkled cupcakes from before.

“Here you go, have a cupcake.” She said plopping into a chair across from the agents.

Rossi bit into his cupcake as Morgan began the interview, “Pinkie we were told that Rainbow Dash was on her way to see you the day she went missing. Is that true?”

Pinkie inwardly cringed, hoe did they know that? She hadn’t told anypony she was seeing Dash that say. These profilers were better than she’d been giving them credit for, “Yeah, Dash was supposed to come by and we were gonna bake and go pulls some pranks. But she never showed up. I was so angry that I wasn’t gonna let that mean old ditcher have any of the cupcakes I was making. Then after a while I wasn’t angry anymore, and by the time we all realized Rainbow was really missing, I’d forgotten all about it.”

“So you never say Dash?” Rossi said slowly, something was off, in the way Pinkie had responded. He noticed the slight tensing of her facial muscles, the way she no longer met their eyes, how she’d very subtly scooted back in her chair putting some extra distance between herself and the agents, and the small bead of sweat that had appeared just at her hairline. She was hiding something. Just what however the profiler wasn’t sure.

“Nope.” Pinkie said simply. Her mind began reeking, she wasn’t a very good liar and she knew it. She couldn’t keep this ruse up for long; she needed to think up something to throw the profilers off her scent.

Morgan had noticed something strange himself, “Pinkie? May I ask why you coloured the cupcakes this way?”

There was a little pony in Pinkie’s head that was screaming and raving at this meddling stallion. Outwardly Pinkie merely looked politely confused.

Morgan saw the metaphorical question mark floating over her head elaborated, “Well they’re coloured like Rainbow Dash.” He held his cupcake up, “blue icing like her coat and rainbow sprinkles like her mane.”

“Oh that.” Pinkie said doing her best to seem casual, and keep the shrieking pony in her head locked up, “I made them when we realized Dash was gonna. It’s kind of my own little tribute to her. She always loved eating my cupcakes so I made some Dashie-cakes for her.”

Morgan fought to keep his eyebrows from rising, he hadn’t missed the way Pinkie spoke like Dash was dead and gone, even though there had been no official statement made about believe dash was dead. But both agents nodded their understanding and the little pony in Pinkie calmed down. They seemed fooled for now, but Pinkie knew she’d have to come up with something to toss their investigation in a new direction soon.

X~X

“She knows more than she’s letting on.” Morgan stated simply as he and Rossi trotted out of Sugarcube Corners heading to their hotel for the night.

“I know, but is she intentionally lying or just...” Rossi once again found himself struggling to find the right word to match the party pony.

Morgan however understood what Rossi was getting at, “Hard to say, she’s without a doubt one of the strangest ponies I’ve ever come across and she seems honest. But we both know that seeming honest and actually being honest are two completely different things.”

Rossi nodded. Sometimes he hated his job, the life of a profiler left much to be desired. Constant jet lag, rarely getting to sleep in your own bed, and inconsistent hours making it nearly impossible to have a life outside the job. Three ex-wives had proven that to Rossi. Then there were the victims, the innocent lives stolen the empty shell of a lifeless pony left behind. The dead weren’t the only victims, friends and family left to mourn were just as victimized. Their lives shattered by loss, wounds left behind that never truly heal. And finally of course the killers, rapist, kidnappers and terrorists themselves. Pony monsters trotting undetected through society hiding their desires and impulses in the shadows of death.

And the day comes for every profiler when they can no longer stand against the darkness and stare into the abyss of ponykinds most well hidden natures. The job eats at a pony slowly eroding at them, tearing away at their sensitivity making the callous and unfeeling. Rossi knew the day he could stand over the dead and feel nothing was the day he would leave the BAU and never look back. If he allowed himself to stop caring and stop truly fighting for those who were stolen from the world, he’d no longer be a pony, he’d be a pathetic shell of the stallion he once was. And that’s a life not worth living.

Prolouge: The End Of The Rainbow

Prologue- The End of the Rainbow

Rainbow Dash’s dying screams echoed through the pink pony’s thoughts. She had been such a letdown, even the little blank flank fillies and colts had held up better then the Pegasus. Pinkie had been hoping to have a lot more fun with her.

“So much for the most awesome of all eh Dashie?” Pinkie muttered to herself as she worked. She was almost done preserving her friend. A small twinge of sadness hit her as she carefully brushed Dash’s colourful mane.

She shook the feeling off. Rainbow’s number had come. Those were the rules, and Pinkie had no choice but to follow. Besides, Dash had turned out to be one of the most delicious cupcake batches ever.

“There!” Pinkie announced happily leaping gleefully to her hoofs. “All done. Dashie you look great. Just like always!”

The party pony stepped back to properly admire her handy work. It was great, if she did say so herself. “Wowwie, I did good. You can barely see the stitches. Rarity would be proud of me.”

She circled the carefully taxodermied Pegasus, “Well Rainbow, I dare say, you look 20% cooler than usual.” Pinkie snorted and succumbed to a fit of giggles at her own joke.

She giggled till she couldn’t breathe anymore, then put on her bets serious face, “Now, where to put you?” she scanned her little dungeon looking for the perfect place to keep her friend. “Have to make sure there’s enough room for the others too.” Pinkie smiled, she spotted a long stretch of wall that would be a perfect place to pose all her bestest best friends once their numbers came up.

“And we’ll all stay together forever!” Pinkie cried out gleefully pushing Rainbow Dash to her spot.