Drac-On-Equus

by Digit Sync

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Drama, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1280

A romance fic featuring Discord and Twilight, with supporting roles being played by Fluttershy, Cadence and Shining Armor. Set before the Cutiemark Map story arc.

What started as a bad pun has now become a bad story!

Discord was never one for romance, so of course had no idea what was happening when he began to fall for a certain purple princess. With extensive guidance from Cadence, he finally works up the courage to ask the mare out, and surprisingly she says yes! Unfortunately, dating is a lot harder than it seems…

Warning, slow build! Contains clop but is not a clopfic!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-09 05:10:01 UTC

1 | Proliferation of Unknown Sensations

Discord was sick.

At least, he assumed that was the case with all of the strange feelings that filled his chest whenever he spend time around the newest Alicorn. The sensations he was experiencing weren't particularly painful or unpleasant, but the fact that he was feeling anything at all outside of his control was a new experience for him. If he had to describe them, they were somewhat similar to the feelings he felt when around his dear Fluttershy, but to an even greater extent. So... perhaps he was allergic to ponies? Or maybe the shampoo both mares used? He didn't know.

Discord didn't like not knowing.

The sensations were a sort of... tightness in his chest, combined with a rapid beating of his two asynchronous hearts. The feelings urged him to visit her almost daily, yet when he was around her he couldn't help but notice how irritated she became. Normally, when a pony was annoyed with him, he simply ignored them and continued to do whatever he wanted, but when Twilight sighed and placed her face in her hooves every time he visited, he always lost inspiration for whatever prank he had tried to play on her. The one time he had managed to successfully prank her, she had traveled to the end of Equestria for him, which somehow made him feel so light and giddy, he couldn't keep but finish the prank early to reveal to her it was a joke, hopefully to make her laugh along with him. Yet, instead of giggling at the situation, she instantly grew angry, and he had never felt so low in his life.

Well... that's not true. The lowest he felt was after betraying Fluttershy, leaving her and the rest of Equestria to Tirek's rampage. Laying there, discarded in the dust, an eternity of bad decisions pressing him against the dirt, he felt the world collapsing around him. Yet... she had forgiven him. Bartered for his freedom from Tirek and argued for his innocence when the guard has finally arrived to return him to stone. Somehow, that one mare who he had pestered incessantly looked past his lifetime of selfishness, his betrayal of their trust, and had forgiven him...

...and he couldn't understand why.

Celestia did not enjoy court, despite her kind motherly smile. She tried her best to look interested in the two nobles arguing before her as she resisted the urge to massage her temples. Nopony could blame her for using such a false display of interest though, as any other pony would have been driven mad by the constant squabbling of "high-class" ponies through the past millennia.

Today's court was no better, the past two hours since the beginning having been spent listening to the heads of two 'Noble' bloodlines argue who owns the five feet of woodland between their two mansions. Both families owned acres of undeveloped property yet they were more concerned about who owned what than what they would do with it. Clearing her throat, both ponies quieted down, though one did finish his sentence before becoming silent. "-ope you never find the key, and your mother dies of fright when she sees the body covered in syrup!"

The offending noble at least had the courtesy to look ashamed, though he still glared daggers across the room at his rival. Celestia gave both of them a motherly smile, before speaking in a kind, smooth voice. "I understand you are both upset with each other, my little ponies, but let's try and remain civil. Either way, after your... wonderfully informative debate, I am ready to make a decision." She stood up, looking down to the two of them. "As neither household can provide evidence that either of you actually own this plot of land, it shall temporarily be placed in the hold of the crown. It shall remain there, undeveloped, until either new evidence surfaces, or the two of you agree on what to do with it."

One of the nobles looked outraged at the decision, while the other one seemed to sulk. Neither of them argued as they stomped out of the throne room.

Celestia then began to descend the steps of her throne, and an armored guard stepped up in front of the endless line of squabbling nobles to speak over the endless bickering of the crowd. "The princess will be taking a fifteen minute break, afterwards court will resume. Please remain in line or you forfeit your place in the queue." The sun goddess gave all her ponies a loving smile as she slowly strode from the throne room into her private office, and shut the door softly.

"Gaaaah!" she screamed in frustration against a pillow once the sound proofing spell had finally sealed her room.

"Problem, my dear?" Came a thoroughly unwanted voice, from a thoroughly unwanted creature lounging atop her mahogany desk. There sat the lord of chaos himself, reading his way through a novel labelled 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Aliens and Bigfoot and Leprechauns'

For Faust's sake... she thought in annoyance. Why him. Why now? "No. There is not a problem." Celestia responded through gritted teeth, taking a few calming breaths before turning to the mismatched entity on the table. "What can I do for you, Discord?" The draconequus in question carelessly tossed the book behind his shoulder, vanishing in a puff of periwinkle smoke before reappearing in front of the alicorn. His face was stuck in his usual smug visage, though his smile seemed slightly... off. Celestia shrugged this thought away, after all, Discord always looked off. Silently, she hoped he didn't need anything, and would just leave her alone after he got his fill of annoying her.

The chaotic spirit on the other hand had no intention of bothering her apparently, as his smile began to waver slightly. "I... er... need your help with something."

Celestia blinked in confusion. This was new for him. Usually if he required a favor, he just came out with it, not hiding behind the issue. Raising her brow slightly, she sat herself down at her desk and gave  him her full attention. "Alright, what is it? You're acting quite strange. More than usual, that is."

Discord cleared his throat, thinking for a moment before speaking. "I've been experiencing some... foreign sensations recently. Particularly while around a certain... being." Celestia just blinked again before motioning for him to continue. "I suppose it would best be described as somewhat feverish. My paw gets all sweaty and my chest gets awfully tight. If I wasn't immune to every allergen, I'd have guessed I was having a reaction to them."

Celestia cleared her throat, giving Discord a slightly unsure smile. "And these feelings are... unpleasant?"

"Yes! Well... no! T...They're distracting!" The chaos lord shouted back. For some reason, the alicorn seemed to find this funny. She stifled a giggle while a knowing look grew in her eye.

"I do believe I know what your problem is. But... I'm not sure I'm the best pony to help you with it."  Celestia spoke cryptically. "I think you should go speak with my niece. I believe Cadence would be the best pony to help you right now."

Discord didn't seem too thrilled with this answer. He let out a loud huff before stomping out of the room like a kid being denied a toy at a store. Celestia's calm facade broke completely at the sight, and she couldn't help the onslaught of chuckles that descended her body. I always knew he'd fall for Fluttershy.

"Your majesty! The recess is over. Prince Blueblood is demanding an audience, and he's getting cranky!"