Twilight Finds Herself in Generation 1.

by TheMajorTechie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random
Length: 8462

That's pretty much all there is to it, aside from chaos. There'll be QUITE a lotta chaos...

Twilight managed to recover the scroll Starlight Glimmer had used to travel back in time. The problem is, she went waay too far back while testing it.

...Oh, and the scroll's gone, too.

On top of that, Twilight still isn't entirely sure if she's in the same universe.

The spiritual successor to I Think I Summoned a Ponk. Why? Because I now want to write another random comedy fic that's not a chapter of my What If? fic. I'm bored.

Published 2016-11-08 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-13 03:06:48 UTC

In which time travel is not an option

Author's Note

Now with an exclusive look into the now-nonexistent narrator! (He quit after Twilight heard him.)

In which time travel is not an option

Twilight landed with a soft thud on the lush grass. She proceeded to remain motionless on said grass for several minutes, before deciding that she had spent enough time unconscious to make a point in her relatively small drop.

Besides, she did just travel four years into the past, right?

The mare quickly spun around, taking in what was supposed to be the view of a pleasant day in Ponyville. The problem is, there is no Ponyville. Or really, for the matter, an Equestria, either.

But she didn't know that. All Twilight knew was that perhaps, she had traveled a bit too far in the past, maybe... just a year or two before the founding of Ponyville? Either way, she was now blankly staring into the sky.

Would you just shut up, already? I can hear you, y'know.

...

...

In short, the narrator was never heard from again, aside from the note below. Something about not being paid enough to narrate beyond the fourth wall.

Note: From here on, it'll be first-person. Otherwise, give me an immediate raise.

-Mister Sir Narrator Guy Jr. (Definitely doesn't have Morgan Freeman's voice.)

Well then. Aside from that booming voice from the sky, I'll pretend that that never happened. Now, where am I...

I reached into my saddlebag for the scroll I had recovered. I happened upon it when I was working with the time travel spell I had used before, of which turned out with a disastrous outcome. I began rummaging through the bag after noticing the lack of any scroll-shaped object. I proceeded to turn the bag over, shaking vigorously in hopes for any loose papers resembling a scroll to float out.

Unfortunately, the scroll just wasn't there.

My mind went into overdrive.

What happened to it? Did a stray gust of wind blow it away? Did I drop it without noticing? Did that voice in the sky take it?

Now, I didn't actually ask myself if some voice in the air took it, 'cause I highly doubt that it would have the physical capability to reach down and grab the scroll.

Anyhow, the scroll was lost. I was trapped. Trapped in... whenever I happened to be taken to. I must've read something wrong...

I guess time travel back to the present isn't an option anymore. I'll just have to find another way. And maybe also find somewhere to stay during the time I work on my own time travel spell, as it'll likely take quite a while to complete.

I'd have to ask myself, though, where the buck am I? If I've really traveled only four years into the past, then what happened to Ponyville? Did I somehow manage to find another one of those alternate universes created during my battle with Starlight Glimmer?

Those questions continued to swirl about in my mind as I took to the air, hoping to find any signs of civilization. That 's when I saw it in the corner of my eye: Ponies. They looked rather odd at first, but I just left it with the reason that I was far away, allowing for atmospheric distortion of the image, but as I flew closer to the ponies, I realized that they were, so to say, different.

So different, in fact, that they appear to have more of a resemblance to the horses in the human world, than any modern pony I've ever seen. They were gathered in a small semicircle around what appeared to be a large, red gem. On top of that, they seemed to be singing in worship of said gem. I'm starting to wonder if I really have gone too far into the past, if I'm seeing rituals such as this.

I watched in the distance, when I noticed that up high, on a cliff, were two human-like figures. From up here, they both appear to be female, and-- lemme just get this written down... there! So, two of what appear to be humans, both of which are female. And they seem to be... reading a book?

Hovering mildly closer out of curiosity, I made sure to cast myself a cloaking spell for safe measure. Up close, the two humans, or at least, what I think are humans, were reading out of some sort of spell-dictionary. And from what I read over their shoulders, it contained the most basic of spells that I could imagine. That is, until they flipped to an excerpt on artificially triggering a landslide.

They were trying to kill the poor things!

It was already too late to prevent them from casting the spell, so instead, after they initially triggered it, I slowed the fall of the rocks using a minor anti-gravity spell. Why didn't I simply catch them all with my levitation? Simple, they tossed down the equivalent of a large hill worth of rocks. It would be far too much for even Celestia to manage, considering how both she and Luna failed to even prevent a storm in the Crystal Empire, though "storm" was more like "apocalyptic blizzard". Either way, that was snow. This was rock. I wasn't going to take any chances.

Luckily for the (somewhat primitive) ponies, nopony was hurt. As for me, I dropped my spell, and scampered off into hiding. I didn't want to risk changing the past more than saving a couple of lives, as I still didn't know whether or not I had happened upon an alternate universe. I'm just hoping that I haven't changed the present too much with saving those ponies.

For shelter, I stumbled upon a small cave surrounded by several large trees, which would serve excellently for camouflage. The cave itself was fairly small, but still larger than the Golden Oak Library, so naturally, I began setting up shop. I started out by carving a crude table from the soft limestone walls. Next, I began gathering soft materials for what hopefully would feel like a bed. I continued onwards, recalling tips and various excerpts of information from wilderness survival guides, until I found myself standing in front of a fully-functional wilderness shelter.

Now then, for my next concern; food.

Food & Buzz

Author's Note

Based mostly off Season 1, Episode 2 of MLP Generation 1.

Food & Buzz

So, apparently, after I dropped the spell, the rocks apparently liquified, and were sent hurtling back to their senders. How did I know? Let's just say that the cave I now call home happens to be nearby, and is now covered in mud.

As the two humans ran off, I decided to check again to see if the ponies were okay. They, in fact, were perfectly fine. I overheard some talks of revenge, but it appeared to be quickly dismissed by other ponies appearing to be a mix between pegasi and breezies. On top of that, I've just noticed a small, wingless dragon with a very interesting resemblance to Spike. He seems to be able to communicate with the ponies, as well.

... I've just realized that I can understand the other ponies. Does that mean that the Equish language has been around longer than recorded history?

Never mind that, however, this means that I can get a first-hoof account of the world! And, and...

I felt my stomach grumble in my excitement, reminding me that I still needed something to eat. And so, to avoid any suspicion with the ponies, I decided to recast the cloaking spell on myself, and follow the humans. Surely they have some food lying around. Either that, or I'm counting far too much on the human Rainbow Dash's lack of organization in her room.

Not too long after, I found myself facing a crudely built house-like structure, sitting atop a large spire of dirt and rock. I do feel pretty awful for stealing food, though, and are those donuts that they're eating?

Back at Canterlot, I wasn't much of a donut kinda pony. I typically ate meals at home, made by my parents, and occasionally Cadence. Donts were usually considered a breakfast item back then, but now...

Wait... back then... now... uh, let's see here... "back then" now refers to the future, while "now" is currently referring to this immediate moment, which is in the past, compared to the "back then", and... wait, did I just mentally call donuts donts?

...

...

Meh, I need food to think.

I licked my lips in anticipation, eyeing the donuts with so much focus that I nearly missed another woman enter the room, and chew out the other two, before dragging them out by the ears.

Now was the time. I quickly teleported into the room, and noticing that the donut stack appeared to be self-replenishing, I grabbed as many donuts as possible. Even though I heard what I'd frankly call the strangest singing I've ever heard coming from the next room over, I decided to ignore it, and leave as silently as possible.

I deeply regret deciding not to spy on the humans in the room.

Not knowing my way back, I decided to once again trail the two humans I had seen causing the landslide, in hopes that they'd return to the same location. Instead, they took a drastically different route, heading through a frigid deciduous forest. Along the way, after picking a bouquet of flowers for somebody named "Bumble", a small swarm of what appeared to be anthropomorphic bees swooped down, and begun carrying them off to their hive. In horror, I once again followed closely behind.

It seems that those bees don't like the "flutter-ponies". Now, I'm guessing that Fluttershy would easily change their mind if she were here, but as for now, it appears that the humans and the bee queen, (of whom I found to be the one named Bumble), were plotting to steal the Sunstone from the valley nearby.

The mention of a "Sunstone" got me thinking. I've heard of it a time or two before, in fact, from the Royal Canterlot Archives. It was rumored to be a long-lost artifact, which, in conjunction with the Crystal Heart, was meant to be used to retain a tranquil state of nature in any place that they're used in. To this day, however, the Crystal Heart alone does both the purpose of the supposed Sunstone, and it's own job.

With a tracking spell I modified literally on the fly, I was able to find my way back. I had to warn the ponies, even if it meant that I would likely change history forever. I flew as quickly as my wings could carry me, which was still quite slow compared to Rainbow. I'm just hoping that I'll make it in time.

I didn't.

Interlude: Twilight's word on the Narrator

So, Twilight... how's it going?

"Where am I?"

You're everywhere... and nowhere. Honestly though, even I don't know where we are.

"Great, I've been scooped out of reality by an incompetent nobody. Great job."

Geez, don't be so harsh on me, missy. After all, narrating is pretty hard.

"Keep telling yourself that, mister. Don't mind me while I try to get out of this place."

You can't, I won't let you.

"And why is that?"

I'm the narrator in this chapter. I can narrate your sorry plot right back into here if you try.

"Wanna bet?"

Twilight lit her horn, ready to simply teleport out. Little did she know, since neither of us actually know where we are, she wouldn't be able to teleport.

"HEY!"

Not my fault. I haven't left my random inter-universal office for the past three years.

"Wait... inter-universal? I can just use Starswirl's mirror-portal spell and get back!"

Unfortunately, Twilight found to her disdain that aside from the typical office-type material and a questionably young guy sitting in a spinning chair, there were no mirrors.

"AGH!" Twilight screamed, lighting her horn once more. A quick volley of shots resulted in a dazed guy sitting in a hole-ridden spinny-chair, complete with a smoking hole blasted through his cubicle.

"What are you doing to the poor man? Where are you?!"

Silly mare. That man's nothing but an illusion. It's all fake. I simply built this false reality around you to protect your fragile sanity. As for me, my real office is currently... nonexistant.

"What?"

To put it simply; this is a dream, and I'm both a figment of your imagination, and a sentient being that's invaded your mind. Sleep tight, Twilight.

"WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING O--"

world.exe has encountered an error, and must be shut down. Please press and hold CTRL + ALT + DEL to restart your reality.

Author's Note

Just a little something I typed while I was bored. :twilightsmile:

Interlude 2: Post-Narrator-Freakout-Disorder

Author's Note

Also known as PNFD. :trollestia:

Now, let's see what happened to Twilight after reality got rebooted.

(The alternate chapter name is narrator-ception.)

Interlude 2: Post-Narrator-Freakout-Disorder

"Ugh... where am I?"

The same semi-existent office building as the one you were in when I rebooted reality.

"..."

Anyways, how's life been going for ya?

"Horribly. How about you?"

Just the usual below-average pay for a lowly narration job. Honestly, I'd be happy just to have more than a cup of ramen every day.

"But don't you understand? Ramen is the granted staple of scholars throughout the world; to move onwards from it is to forget your roots, and--"

Shush, book horse. My boss is coming. He's probably asking about the universe reboot.

"Hey Mr. Narrator, what's up with the universe reboot?" a voice called over the cubicles.

Heh, knew it.

...

Wait, is there another narrator narrating us?!

"Seems like it."

Mr. Narrator's boss stuck his flabby face into the cubicle, immediately spying Twilight.

Hey, no fair! I'm the one that gets to narrate everything according to how I want it!

Well too bad, "Mr. Narrator".

"GUYS, CAN WE STOP IT?!"

No.

No.

...

"PSYCHE!" Both narrators shouted at once, in hopes of narrating the other. Little did they know, I was actually narrating the both of them.

Wait a minute...

YOU'RE NARRATING US?!

Crap.

As the three narrators began narrating each other's torturous downfalls, Twilight snuck up Mr. Narrator's trenchcoat, and found a button labeled "Send me away from this crap".

Oh, no you didn't.

The three narrators pulled the fourth narrator into their game of narration as Twilight shut her eyes, held her breath, twirled around in a bacon-striped tutu, and pressed the button.

"HEY!"

Fine. Twilight tore off the tutu, and slammed her hoof as hard as she could into the button a second time, as--

GET OVER HERE, YOU.

Narrator #5, whatever his name was, was swiftly launched headfirst --literally-- into the fight between narrators, as Twilight began fading back into her own reality. As for me, well, I'm Mr. Narrator's boss. And honestly, I like what I'm watching, this fight of theirs.

We'll be getting back to Gen. 1 with the next chapter. For now, I've got a commission to continue... and a pile of stories to edit... Geez, I really dug myself into a hole, haven't I?

The Chasm of Doom (And the moment when Twilight finally loses it)

Author's Note

~~I'm gonna start straying a bit from the episodic timeline that I've been sticking to, as well as adding my own bit to the story.~~ Heh. I'ma turn this into a real fanfic. It's sticking ffffaaaaarrr too closely to the "episodic timeline". Not only that, but it gets too boring when all you're doing is basically writing commentary for the episodes and wrapping it up as a story. :twilightsmile:

The Chasm of Doom (And the moment when Twilight finally loses it)

Well, by didn't I didn't specifically mean that they had already stolen the Sunstone. Instead, I found myself flying over the same group of ponies, now stranded at the center of a bridge, doomed to fall due to the weird armadillo-crocodile like creatures gnawing at the ropes.

Why they did it only when the ponies were on the bridge? I don't know. And frankly, I don't care, either. Let's just say that instead of helping like a good mare should, I just stood on the edge of the cliff with my cloaking spell on, watching intently as history unfolded.

Surprisingly, the ponies managed to save themselves, with the pegasus saving the small dragon and another pony, while a unicorn made what looked like a levitation spell contained within a self-reflective bubble.

...Wait, that dragon looks suspiciously like Spike...

Meh, probably just something do to with the insanity that I experienced earlier with the narrators. I'm not surprised if I'm seeing things, and if you ask me, I just want to go home and sleep for the next three weeks. And maybe eat some cake. And mess with some ponies' minds.

I just realized that my mental state seems to be devolving into the state of mind that Celestia seems to always have.

Meh.

But yeah, I'm starting to have second guesses on the idea that modern ponies evolved from the ponies I'm watching.

You know what? I'm tired of slinking around like this. Why watch history... when you can make it? ooh boy, I can already feel the tingling sensation of a great thought coming through...

Doppelganger... MOM?!

Author's Note

Once again, don't forget that we broke away from the canon a looooonnnnng time ago, so any and all differences between this and the actual Gen 1 shows are intentional, including out-of-character actions. :ajsmug:

And because it takes a while to get to know each character. I personally took over half a year to actually remember how each of the mane six acted.

Doppelganger... MOM?!

Twilight Sparkle? Who is this Twilight Sparkle? I am... Twilight Sparkle!

I howled with laughter as my doppelganger sat unknowingly inside the building I was about to break into. I'm not entirely sure what she'll look like, but I do know that she exists, mostly due to hearing my name being called on multiple occasions.

I slowly rose up to eye level with the window, training my eyes on anything vaguely pony-shaped. And there she was.

Wait... mom?!

Um... okay, similar coloration, same mane streak, kinda messy mane and tail like when mom freaks out...

Her cutie mark. It's not the same, but the similarities between this Twilight and my mom are pretty creepy.

Meh, does it even matter that she looks like my mom if I'm just gonna sack her and take her place? I don't think so. So there. Totally not weird to foalnap another pony that looks strangely like your own mother.

I floated a sack I made from dry grass through the slightly ajar window, keeping in mind to cast a soundproof barrier over the structure. From the looks of it, the other Twilight hasn't noticed anything out of the ordinary yet. Excellent...

~~~{Exactly two minutes and thirty-nine seconds later...}~~~

This Twilight Sparkle seems to be quite a hardhead. Thrashing, screaming, biting, casting the occasional spell, so on. To my annoyance, she had begun to tickle me through the bag to get me to drop her, so I simply lifted the bag higher, and cast an instant-action sleeping spell on her.

So that handles the problem of two Twilights, and now, I'll bring her back to my lab... I mean, cave.

And maybe I'll do some experimenting.

Interrogation

Author's Note

I have no idea if I got Gen 1 Twilight's character right. :twilightoops:

If I did, tell me and I'll try to fix it. Like I said, it takes time for me to get used to writing in character. :twilightsheepish:

Interrogation

"Ugh... where am I?" my doppelganger groaned, shifting inside her compartment. I call it a 'compartment' because of the fact that it's literally a storage box I had made from sticks and leaves. More of a nest though, now that I think of it.

I stepped up slowly to the other Twilight, who was bound by woven grass ropes. In addition to that, I had fitted a magic inhibitor ring over her horn to prevent any spellcasting.

"But where did you get the ring?" you may ask. Let's just say that in the miniscule amount of time I had spent setting up this cave, I had also decided to construct a simple forge.

Now, enough with that. I've got some interrogating to do.

"Hey, Twilight."

The other Twilight didn't open her eyes.

"Who... who are you?"

"Hard to say," I murmured as I lifted the nest/box up. I needed some light, so naturally, carrying the other Twilight into the sunlight outside would be my first choice.

Finally, she opened her eyes, fixing them on me.

"And what are you?!" she cried out in horror, flailing against the bindings.

I shrugged. "That's what I was about to ask you, Twilight."

"Wait... you know... my name?"

I replied once again with another shrug. "Hey, don't blame me for having the same name as you. I'm Twilight Sparkle."

The vaguely horse-shaped blob of flesh I called a pony simply quivered in my presence. It was already clear that she was scared, since... y'know, being abducted out of nowhere is obviously scary. And on top of that there's also the coincidence of naming... so, yeah. She's clearly terrified.

"Are you... me?"

Dangit, I thought these ponies were intelligent! "Of course I'm not you, just look at me! How could we possibly be even the slightest hint of being the same pony?!"

The mare sat in the box, her jaw moving up and down without a word. I'm pretty sure that this is the reason why recorded history hasn't begun yet. Either way, no matter what the average IQ level of these ponies are, I'll still need their help to get back.

And then, a memory flashed across my eyes. Yesterday. When I first saw the mare.

"Though, you have a slight possibility that you might be my mother, Twilight."

All I got in reply was a THUMP as the mare promptly fainted.

I'm starting to doubt the ability of these ponies to handle anything more than magic kindergarten-level things.

I am the devil, I am the angel, I am SOMETHING.

Author's Note

Short foreshadowing chapter to give y'all a glimpse of what Twilight may become... :ajsmug:

I am the devil, I am the angel, I am SOMETHING.

So apparently, my super-crazy future things scared away the girl. No biggie, I can just bring her to me.

Just a simple teleportation spell tied to a magical beacon I linked to her body, and...

There! Now I've just gotta hide myself in my invisibility.

And grab this conveniently placed potato sack...

...aaaaand GOTCHA!

The human girl struggled for a brief moment, but I took care of her using a hoof to the head and a silencing spell.

Dang, I'm starting to act like some sort of devil or something... meh, it's all a matter of getting back home anyways. Taking into account that what I'm doing will likely split this world off into an alternate universe, I can do anything I want, and get away with it.

Heheh. It's like being both an angel and the devil...

Either way, I gotta scram before somepo--somebody notices the girl missing. I could hold her for ransom in exchange for unlimited access to knowledge.

Ho hum. Don't mind me as I beat my drum. WAKE UP!

Author's Note

Geez, this hasn't gotten an update in a while. Same goes for a certain other fic I've got. I'll be updating these two stories for today, and if I have time, I'll also do the usual updates. :twilightsmile:

Also, the title was literally a rhyme I came up with seconds before clicking "New Chapter".

Ho hum. Don't mind me as I beat my drum. WAKE UP!

Should I dance around the human girl with a grass skirt and drums? I think I should dance around her with a skirt and drums. It adds to the effect that I clearly want something from her.

Now then. Taking into consideration that I've likely completely and utterly derailed this timeline, I highly doubt that I'll have to face events that according to Equestria's history, are supposed to have happened by now.

Anyways, about the girl...

She's kinda stirring a bit at the moment, but let's speed things up a bit, shall we?

Silently thanking Pinkie for teaching me the ways of the hammerspace, I floated a pail of ice-cold water just a bit higher than the girl's head. I'd take time to probably belt out a song or something about waking up and not being lazy, but buck that, I'm a scientist!

~~~{Three seconds later...}~~~

Well, okay, maybe the spell and the hoof to the face might've been a bit too much, but hey, at least I've got all the time in the world to hide a body if it comes to it. Heck, I could easily vaporize the body if I wanted to, being probably the only alicorn in existence at this time.

Oh well. I've got this drum and random grass skirt already, might as well do something with it.

~~~{It's like another three seconds later, except it's probably more around three hours.}~~~

Well finally she's waking up. It only took me hours of voodoo dancing and yodeling... not that either were really actually required or anything in order to wake her up but it's not like it actually matters or anyth--

ENOUGH WITH THAT.

Enough with what, me?

THIS! DON'T YOU SEE?!

Nope!

Okay, to mark off a list so we can both understand, let's say that you've been:

Talking to yourself,

Rambling about insane topics,

Foalnapping,

Deliberately destroying timeli--

Hey, this is a human girl, so that should be kidnapping!

You know what, I give up. Here you go, illogical Twilight. Drive the mad horse to Tartarus, for all I care.

Okies!

I probably look very strange right now to whoever this girl is. Especially considering the fact that I can literally feel myself vibrating while I carry out this mental arguement... and the fact that I already know that I'm probably twitching so much that it looks like I've been electrocuted.

At least she's awake now, if not mildly psychologically disturbed by my presence.

The Locket

Author's Note

Intentionally mispelling and/or using one-off names is fun.

Megan's apparently a grill, according to Twilight, and Gen 1 Twilight is pretty much now universally referred to by Gen 4 Twilight as some variation or another of "past-me", "not-mother", or other random garbles of descriptive words.

The Locket

"Eh?"

"Eh what?" past-not-me snapped back, clearly annoyed.

I lit my horn, and gently floated a small locket off of Megan.

"My locket!" Megan exclaimed, tugging back on said locket. I smirked, and diverted a bit more force into the levitation. Megan, determined to keep it to herself, rather than surrender it for study to a noble scientist such as I, pulled even harder in return.

"Do you really think that your strength alone can defeat me, an alicorn with more magic than you'd ever believe?" I asked, halfmindedly increasing the force ever so slightly.

"Let... go!" Megan exclaimed, fiercely struggling to free the locket from my grasp.

Just a bit more power...

*SNAP!*

"My locket!"

I facehoofed. "Didn't you already say that on the fourth line of this chapter?" I deadpanned, pacing towards the impact area that the locket had hit after the string had snapped.

"What?" my two ~~captives~~ assistants replied. The grill continued to wail over her locket, but I personally, had better plans.

*crunch*

Oh. So apparently if you throw a fragile locket at a solid wall of rock, and then attempt to carelessly scoop it off the ground afterwards, it'll break.

What a nice lesson on physics.

Look... I can explain... maybe.

Megan raced towards me, arms outstretched. "MY LOCKET!" She cried, clutching the pieces in her hands, "You broke it!"

"I didn't break it," I snided, "I just--"

"YOU BROKE IT!"

"I didn't break it. I just rearranged the molecular layout of a single object to allow it to be split unevenly into multiple quantities."

"What."

"Exactly." I mused, turning my back on the girl. "Would you like to hear of my origin?"

"Locket?"

I facehoofed. Again. I probably should be counting how many times I do this. It'd make for a pretty nice study paper when I get back. Now then, back to the focus of our conversation. "No locket," I replied, snatching the pieces back from the grill, "I'm gonna study its materials and do some science-y sh--"

"NO SWEARS!"

Wait, Pinkie! DON'T GO--aaaand she's gone.

Hm...

Maybe...

"Don't you DARE taint the minds of our audience, Ms. Sparklypants."

"Pinkie, could you please take me back with you?"

"No, because you still have to keep the plot continuity. Also, I'm not actually here. You're just crazily talking to yourself. Again. Or maybe I AM here... heheheheheheheh..."

I blinked, and the Pinkie that had been in front of me was replaced by a very confused possibly-ancestral ponylike blob. Coincidentally, she appeared to be fanning my face. I'm not gonna ask where she got anything to fan me with.

I awoke a couple hours later, to the exact same sight, even. Megan was still trying to painfully reassemble the locket on my worktable cutout on the wall, and past not-me was still fanning. Also, it was clearly dark outside now, and it seems like someone got a campfire started in the fire pit.

Talk about clueless captives.

"Twilight? Er... the other Twilight?" Megan said as she once again failed to piece the locket together, "You're awake."

"Well duh," I replied, "What, you thought I was dead or something?"

"No. I want you to fix what you broke."

Facehoof number 2 (ever since I started counting) commencing.

"How about a story, instead? I'm sure that that little locket can wait."

"B-but... the monsters!" Megan exclaimed, "How can we defeat them now?"

Wait. Wut. Monsters? Defeat? Locket? WAT.

"Um... say what again?"

"Fix the Rainbow of Light! Please, I beg of you!"

I rubbed my chin with a hoof. "Well well well..." I mused, "What does this so-called 'Rainbow of Light' do, specifically?"

The grill... um... girl looked down at the locket, then back at me. Locket. Me. Locket. Kind-of motherly clone. Me. Finally, after a few more rounds of back and forth staring, she replied simply, "It makes the bad guys go away."

Aaaaand here comes another facehoof. Seriously, one has to wonder about the mental functions of the inhabitants around here.

"WELL..." I replied, "Would you like the short explanation, or the long one?"

Megan sighed. "Short, please."

"I second that." the presumed cavepony continued.

"I'm pretty sure that I'm the many, many, greats-grandchild of--" I pointed a hoof at Ye Olde Twilight "--you, and on top of that, I wield unimaginable power, even compared to that locket of yours."

Megan raised a brow. "And the long version?"

Taking a deep breath, I replied, "I come from far, far, far, into the future of what I presume is what I currently assume is your present. The nation I come from is called Equestria, and the leading figures, including me, are all either questionably natural, or ascended Alicorns, such as myself."

"So is that why you have both wings and a horn?"

"Yes," I replied, putting on my regal face, "but I'm not finished yet." I lit my horn to project some of my memories. Obviously, both the girl and the pony were awestruck by this.

"As you can see, there are clearly no humans from where I'm from, so either they went extinct, or I guess... maybe they integrated into pony society. Maybe. But let's ignore that anomaly for now. My friends and I form a group called the "Mane Six" by many, and together, we wield the Elements of Harmony, which essentially, is a far safer version of whatever Rainbow of Fight or whatever thing that locket you have is called."

"Hey!"

"So, I was originally born a unicron, erm... unicorn, and was taken under the wing of Princess Celestia, who pretty much became a second mother to me."

"Aww, that's sad." The bloblike form of a pony replied, "What happened to your first mother?"

"Nothing. I'm pretty sure that she got hayburgers for dinner last night though. This is around that time of the year when she decides to once again abandon her healthy eating resolution. NOW THEN. As I was saying--" I paused for a moment to stare at a soldering ash that had been ejected from the fire, "--Celestia took me under her wing as her personal student, and as time passed, I grew more and more powerful."

"That sure explains a lot." Megan deadpanned, earning herself a death glare from me.

"Eventually, after being with the Elements of Harmony for a while, as well as fixing a futzed up spell, I ascended to Alicornhood, and I'm pretty sure that I've put on a couple additional inches in height since I ascended."

I turned towards the Old-old Twilight, who, for now, I'm gonna assume is of similar height to modern ponies. "Tell me, how much taller am I to you?"

She shrugged.

Oh well.

...

...

...

WAIT ONE FREAKIN' SECOND.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES GIVING ME INFORMATION, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

Author's Note

Still doing it. :trollestia:

Still goin' at it with Megan being a grill and Gen 1 Twilight always being referred to with descriptive words.

Also, unicron= uni + cron.

Uni=1
Cron=time

Unicron=1 time. :trollestia:

Seriously, answers. NOW!

Author's Note

Twilight's already essentially destroyed any canon left over, and I vaguely remember hearing that Midnight Castle supposedly took place before the "first episode" of Gen. 1, so let's just play with a bit o' fire, here, shall we?

Seriously, answers. NOW!

Alrighty then. Since a certain two beings have somehow managed to circumvent my quest for knowledge, I'll just pry it out of them!

Hehehehehe... how shall I carry this out... threats by knife? Nah, that other pony's got a bit of basic magic... Binding spell and a knife?

Oh wait. I don't have a knife.

WELL THEN. LET'S JUST WING IT!

"Twilight, do you remember that battle with Tirek?"

Gen. 1 Twilight nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, I do. We defeated him with the Rainbow of Lig--" she glanced down at the still-broken locket. "--oh."

"Ẁ̵̥͔̖̬̂Ą̶̮̽̽S̷̡͈͐͊ͅ ̶̪̦͓͊̑̈́͝Y̷̱̱͒͗ͅ'̵̗̫̃͌Â̷̳̾̑L̷̼̮̊̐͜L̷̹͓̒́̆ ̶̦̹̈́T̵̡̰͈̪͌͛Á̵̡̬̖̆L̸̦͖̒́̊Ḱ̶͙Ḯ̷̠͗͆ͅŅ̷̧̦͊'̶̞̠̿̐͜ ̶̝̝̳́͝'̵̢͎̅̆͠B̵̳̍Ȯ̵͓͈͊U̵̧̪͔͈͋̆͑T̷͇͆̚ ̶̟̟̑͜Ḑ̵͕͒̔́̕Ḁ̷̳͈̈́͗̈̉͜T̷̨̰̟̔͗ ̴̮̪̼̮͑̾Ṯ̶̥̟̈Í̴̳̥Ŗ̵̛̬͈̩̇͗͆E̶̲̖̎̋K̷̜͎̑͐̀ ̵̠̥̤̌̉F̴̛͖͖̑͐̔E̴̪̥̍͐̄̎L̷̡̀͛́͠L̶͎̣̯̍̐͜Á̶͚͗ ̵̧͇̲̎͗̃͝D̵̟̺́̂̔Ä̵̧̲́̅͝T̵͕͕̈́̃͜͜͝ ̴͙͈̦̦͊Ą̵̢̰̤̀Ḥ̸̝͐͠ ̸̹͓̫̐̀Ś̶̨̻M̷̮̠̐̃̊̽Ǐ̵̙̮̌̕Ṭ̸̔Ę̵̜̳̖̔̌̄D̵͖̭̦̮͌?̷̲̈́̽͊!̷̭͎̯̎̉̾͝"

"That you defeated?" Megan asked, scoffing, "As if."

"D̸̼͊̈́̀Ò̷̗͇Ê̸̠̦͆̕͜Ś̴̥̘̣ ̶̡̂Y̸̞̆'̴͖̰̼̍͋̄͘Ạ̵̇Ḽ̷͂͒̌L̵̪̻̇͂͛͝ ̶̰̏̿Q̸̩̹̞̈́̄̍͠ͅŲ̸̝̜̌̆̽͝ͅÈ̶̖̱̖͐̈́S̶͚͛̋͊͋T̶̠̯̊̂͋̓I̸̱̺̓͝O̵̝̓N̷̗̾ ̴̛͔̹͑T̸̞̲͛ͅH̵̩̱̘͚͂̈Ŷ̸̖͑͝ ̸̟̱̲͐͑͆͘G̶͚̼͈̙͂Ō̶̯̺̕D̷͉̯̘̎̃̍̇Ḑ̵̰͂̕͝Ę̵̗̖̉͋̈́͛S̶̛̳̿́̐S̸̩͎̆͆ͅ'̵̪̮̳̘̏ ̵̣̗̦̳̎A̷̹̟̰̓͐́̿B̴͖͚̃͛̐͛Ì̸̹͍͠L̷̲̎Ḭ̷̜̖̟̽̊T̸͙̼͍͊̀͗̊ͅI̴̧͗̀̚E̸̻̎͑̆͆S̴̝̟͝?̸̫͎͛̅̀̓!̷̨̧͈̋̈́͊" I snarled back.

Heh, it's actually pretty calm back here if you just let yourself rage on mindlessly. It's always nice to let your sanity sit back and read every once in awhile.

"Perhaps you should prove that you're really all that you say you are." Megan suggested, pointing towards a particularly large boulder near the cave's mouth.

Sheesh. I was expecting that she'd ask me to do something easy, like maybe leveling a mountaintop. But this???

"Nah."

"What, are you too scared?"

Huh. Suit yourself, little lady.

~~~One Diabolical Mad Scientist Nuclear Explosion Apocalyptic World Ending Plague Commencing Brain~~~

~~~Degenerating Bout of Laughter Later...~~~

"TADA!" I hollered, soot covering my face, "I've not only destroyed the rock, but I've..."

"Disintegrated it, uncoupled the individual atoms from each other in every individual molecule, torn each atom into shreds, releasing tremendous amounts of energy as well as a huge dispersal of quarks that immediately recombined to form new subatomic and atomic matter, then I took the new matter and shoved it through a portal to take it on a field trip with Ms. Frizzle through the center of a black hole and back because the Magic School Bus defies physics and--"

"Shut up. We get it," Megan groaned, awarding me with the prestigious double-facepalm, "You scienced the frick out of that rock."

Oh wait. I still haven't gotten any answers to my questions. I've been spending all this time destroying a boulder.

Sundance the...?

"Sundance?" I asked, my brow furrowing as I searched my mind for any name in relation to that.

Sunburst, Sunset Shimmer... Sunbread?

"Nope. I don't know of any Sundance." I continued.

Megan set her hand on her chin. "Perhaps you've seen her?" She asked, "She's got this pinkish-red mane, a white coat, and a pink hearts symbol on her flank."

"Symbol?" I replied, "Don't you mean cutie mark?"

"Are you talking about the marks on our flanks?!" past-not-really-clone-mother-thing asked, popping out of nowhere with her plot in my face. I did not need to see that.

"See what?"

"Your plothole. In my face."

"But it wasn't in your face," protopony whined, "It was on it!"

...Is this what my life has come to?

I shoved the mare aside, and brushed my face clear of her tail hairs. "Anyhow..." I began, "Who's this 'Sundance' pony, anyways? Aside from being... ahem... your acquaintance?"

"I don't actually know."

WELL THEN. THAT SURE WAS A PRODUCTIVE CHAT.

TJ-- the horsey lover of Megan?

Author's Note

I'm assuming that TJ, Megan's horse, is male, based off of the name.

Correct me if I'm wrong. :twilightsmile:

Don't mind Twilight's shipping. :pinkiecrazy:

TJ-- the horsey lover of Megan?

I facehoofed. As per the usual ritual of witnessing stupidity incarnate.

"Alrighty then," I groaned slowly, "Just tell me about your family. Okay, Megan?"

The grill nodded.

...

ThE GIrL NoDDed.

The. GIRL. Nodded.

Cloe senough.

Urgggghhhhhhh... CLOSE ENOUGH. Geez, what's up with my thoughts these days?

"Twilight?" called a faint voice from beyond my conscience, "Twiiiiliiiiight?"

"Okay, okay, I'm awake!" replied yet another familiar voice.

"Not you, the other Twilight." The first voice deadpanned.

I felt a stick prodding my plot, prompting me to tumble over, directly onto my muzzle.

"REBOOTING TWI-LITE SNARKLE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I wasn't really a robot (maybe), but it just felt like the right thing to say at the moment.

Anyways, once I was finished emotionally shocking the two, I followed through with my request.

"What's your family life like?" I asked yet again, turning towards Megan after removing the paralysis spell from my counterpart.

Megan folded her arms. "Why should I tell you?" She replied.

I shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because the only mention of this so-called family that I've heard from you is the name TJ!"

"Oh, TJ?" Megan replied, "That's my horse."

...

"Your family is a horse."

"NO!" Snapped Megan.

"Then TJ isn't related to you?"

"YES!"

I smirked. "So this... TJ fellow is related to you, eh?"

"NO!"

Oh, I just love messing with these imbeciles.

"So," I finally continued, "Do you like him?"

"Yeah?"

"So you like like him! I ship it!"

"Uh..............."

I leaned up against my blobby predecessor's head. "So, what's the rest of your family like?"

And then memory loss happens... and Discord, too... I guess.

Author's Note

~~I didn't really find much about Megan's family on the internet besides the fact that she has a horse named TJ, and is the oldest child.~~

Golly freakin' geez, it's been a while. I kinda lost my drive to work on this story, so let's have a swift ending to the insanity, alright?

And then memory loss happens... and Discord, too... I guess.

"I... I don't actually remember..."

"WOT IN TARNATION?" I hollered, specks of spittle flying out all the while.

Megan shrugged.

Before I could send a flaming bolt of concentrated rage at the ~~grill~~ girl, I was stopped by a blinding flash, followed by a very familiar chuckle.

"Heeeeeyyyyyy, Twilirino!" Discord chided, "Ready for your return to Equestria?"

"Who's that?" Great-Granny-PudgePile-of-the-same-name-as-I deadpanned, pointing a hoof at the embodiment of Chaos.

"WhO'S tHAt?!" Discord mocked, morphing his face into my definitely-not-counterpart's.

The protopony leapt back in surprise, and screeched "MONSTER!" while hiding behind Megan.

Discord chuckled as he leaned back, draping a noodle arm over my face. "Now then, miss-I've-been-missing-from-Equestria-for-half-a-week-tops, how's your vacation been going?

What.

"Discord..." I began, "Are you saying that you--"

"Made you get stuck here on purpose? Ha!" He laughed, "I totally didn't."

I groaned. "Discord," I began slowly, "If you don't bring me back to the present right now, then I'm gonna make sure you'll remain a statue for millenia to come."

"Fine, fine," Discord grumbled, picking me up by the horn, "Well, see y'all!" he waved to the inhabitants of the past, "DISCORD, OUT!"

Megan, after a few minutes of complete and awkward silence, stumbled into the back of the cave, and quickly returned with the shards of the locket.

"Now what?"

"Plan B"

Okay, so let's say that I'm crazy. Insane, even. That would be completely logical to think that, but in fact, I am not crazy. I'm perfectly fine! Perfectly. Fiiiiinnnnnnneeee... Got it?! Great.

Now, as for this "Plan B". Let's just say that I know a thing or two from Starlight Glimmer about mind control. Let's also assume that I happen to have recently read a book about gene splicing. And maybe my mind is perhaps beginning to crack under the idea of all this.

Perhaps we should just ignore that little bit back there, shall we? Yes, we should. It's gonna be alright, Twilight. These ponies are prehistoric... their moral code is far different from our own... I can experiment a bit... maybe...

An idea flew into my mind as I lay silently on my rock. I could modify my illusion spell, and infiltrate the ranks of those ponies! And from the inside, I could figure out what they might've done to the scroll, and where they've hidden it!

Ooh boy, this'll be fun!

Author's Note

Short chapter. It's more of a glimpse into Twilight's fragile state of mind as of the previous chapter.

Scroll Hunter

Okay... let's see here... so, I appear to be stuck several thousand years, if not more, before the founding of Equestria. On top of that, the scroll that brought me here is nowhere to be found, and the only time spells I know of only travel a few weeks at most in both directions.

Oh! I could travel back in time and track down the exact moment that the scroll was lost! Heheh... smart girl, me... I just have to travel back a few days, and wait for myself to appear. Then I can carry out my plans to get back.

I hid silently under the cloak of my magic, watching for the moment I'd fall from the temporal vortex. Minutes passed as I patiently sat in disguise. Then hours. Finally, after roughly seven hours and forty-five minutes, I noticed the glint of the opening rift.

And of course, my target; the scroll. Ignoring the panicking mare that was me rummaging through my saddlebags, my eyes immediately locked on the scroll. The sudden fall had thrown it from the bag, and a coincidental gust of wind happened to carry it far away.

"Would you just shut up, already? I can hear you, y'know."

There goes me shouting at the 'sky being' again. Now, as for the scroll, it had already flown too far too quickly for me to reliably teleport it. Not only that, but flying after it would require for me to drop my cloaking spell, and likely start the entire fiasco again between me and my past self. So instead, taking the best route, I decided to slip a tracking spell onto the scroll as it flew into the distance. Even if I hit a corner of the scroll, it'd still be able to allow me to locate it. Unlike teleportation spells, where being even the tiniest bit off-center would result in disaster.

Unfortunately however, according to the scroll's location, either the wind took a freak turn back at that boulder, or the ponies found it.

I guess Plan B it is!

OH HAI, HOOMIN!

Author's Note

I got tired of waiting for that comic to come out, so I decided to carry on and boot Twilight into the next chapter. :moustache:

OH HAI, HOOMIN!

"SCREW IT!" I yelled as I left the unconscious mare on the floor of my cave, "I'M OUT!"

I stomped outside, ignoring the fact that the sky was growing dark. Ignoring how there were raindrops splashing against my sorry face. Ignoring the fact that there happened to be a random human girl who came out of nowhere that seemed to be waving at me.

Wait, what?

I turned to face the girl. She doesn't seem to be very old, and she's not waving at me, she's waving at the unconscious Twilight that I left in the cave. I, personally, am unseen due to how she's higher up and I'm down in the trees.

But still. Wat.

Humans? In Equestrian prehistoric times?

This raises quite a few questions.

For one, if humans existed here, then what happened to them? Did they die out? Perhaps a war of some sort, or a famine... or even a plague.

And secondly, if ponies are this stupid in the past, and humans, who so far, seem to be just as intelligent as always, existed, then... Did the smarts of the people somehow become intertwined with ponies? And if so, how?

Maybe the humans and ponies interbred, creating a new species that directly led to modern ponies.

NO. SHUT UP, CRAZY ME.

But anyways...

I unfurled my wings, and shot straight up, into the line of sight of the girl. Hopefully, she's from some sort of town that has at least a scientist or two.

Or all of them.

Once I was assured that the girl noticed me, I belted out, "HI, HUMAN GIRL! CAN I COME WITH YOU?", complete with hoof motions in case if she didn't understand my futuristic mouth flapping skills.

Scouting

Actually, now that I think of it, I think that I should properly introduce myself to both my (mom?)'s doppelganger, as well as the human ~~grill~~ girl. After all, I'm the captor of both of them, so I'd might as well make myself known. And maybe toy with them.

The girl still seems dazed right now though, so I guess I'll just plop the pony down beside her and shake both of them to their senses.

"HEY Y'ALL, AH'M TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" I shouted through a makeshift magically amplified megaphone, "PLEASE PAY YOUR RESPECTS, AS YOUR NEW GOD IS QUITE TIRED."

Huh. So apparently they're more tired than I am, somehow. They both just slept through that, even though the girl was awake just a few minutes ago.

Well then, I'm just gonna box 'em up in a containment shield, and go out and scout a bit.

~~~{Many, many long, boring walks later...}~~~

Yeah, not gonna do that again.

Author's Note

Are you a human grill?

Also, does anyone have voice clips of Megan? Or at least a list of episodes she's appeared in? I kinda need some info on basic characterization, and all I've found so far is that she's apparently "Kind of a dork".

I'm still waiting for the chance to read the Legends of Magic comic series, and I want to push the limits on how OOC the characters can get, but at the same time I still want to kinda stick with the episodic timeline. :facehoof:

MEET YOUR NEW GODDESS!

"Twilight?" I heard the girl groan as she stirred, "Where... where are we?"

My ears perked. "Ah, you're awake!" I said in surprise, chuckling internally at my mad-scientist-esque tone of voice. "Welcome to my cave." I trotted over towards the containment shield, and popped it with a hoof.

"Greetings, prehistoric pony and human, I am Twilight."

The pony cocked her head. "But I'm Twilight," she replied, "And we've already met before."

I facehoofed. "Whatever," I grumbled as I set about constructing some crude chairs for the two, "Now then." I turned towards the girl. "What's your name, laddy?"

The grill... uh, girl shrunk back in fear. "M-Megan," she stammered, staying close to my doppelganger."

"Well, Megan and Not-So-Much-But-Quite-Possibly-My-Mother, BEHOLD!"

I unfurled my wings and enveloped myself in a light spell for effect.

"HAIL TO YOUR NEW GODDESS!"

'Megan' raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"DOST THOU DARE TO SASS THY ETERNAL GODDESS?"

"No." Squeaked my doppelganger-clone-mother-thing.

I nodded in amusement at the act, and sat down on a third chair. "Please, sit." I ordered sweetly, "Let's have a little talk."

"NO, FOR THE LAST BUCKIN' TIME, I'M NOT GONNA STEAL YOUR SOULS!" I shouted in rage. After the first question I had asked them, namely, "Do either of you have any idea of how to extract oneself from a certain parameter of time?", all they had done was repeatedly stammer back, "No, mistress." and "Please don't eat us." and "Are you a cannibal?"

Well, at least I've got one bit of info about these two.

They're both idiots.

I give up on trying to get answers.

After that whole boulder-destroying fiasco, I decided to sit down and think for a bit.

Is this what I really want? Do I truly want to essentially wreck this timeline just for my own personal goals?

Is it really all that important to squeeze information from anything and everything that crosses my path?

At what point have I crossed the line of morality as I venture further into this unknown prehistory?

Welp, I don't know the answers to any of those, so let's get a move on!

"Hey Megan, wanna go adventuring?!" I beckoned with a hoof, "And you too, deformed ponylike blob!"

"What?" the grill... ugh... girl answered, "You're... you're letting us go?"

I shrugged. "You could think of it that way, but no. Not really. So, little lady, where d'ya wanna go today?"

Megan shrugged this time. "Home, I guess. I mean, I miss my family, and... and TJ... and--"

"Okay, geez," I deadpanned, "No need to get emotional. I'm literally in an entire different time then my family and friends, and do you see me weeping? Suck it up, girl."

"Where's Sundance, by the way? Have you seen her anywhere?"

"Alright, alright." I stated, holding both hooves in front of me, "First of all, stop changing the question. Second of all, I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Sundance, my pony friend."

Well this is gonna be interesting...

Author's Note

Sorry for the short chapter. I accidentally formatted the boot partition for Ubuntu on my laptop, and I'm trying to recover the thing to a bootable state.

(Seriously, don't try to dual-boot android and Ubuntu. You'll make a mistake somewhere along the line and you'll regret everything.)