"H-Hi."
The person in question blinked, and turned around to look at me, looking somewhat coldly at me. I tried to smile and asked,
"Want to be friends?"
The boy blinked once more, looked up at me, shook his head and walked away. I continued to stand there, arm out, with a half hearted smile on my face, until the scene slowly started to sink in, and my arm started to drop.
It kind of hurt, if I had to be honest, but I couldn't let that get to me. There were plenty of more people I could be friends with, so what if one turned me down...? Not like the hurt was going to stay if I didn't make any friends, right?...Right?
Right, so, I continued my search in making friends. After a few minutes of searching, I came across a group of girls who were talking, and the excitement in my chest swelled. Well, maybe I would have better luck if I made friends with someone of my gender! That had to be it, right? And not just because I was lonely either.
"Friends!" I yelled, catching their attention.
I began running towards them as the girls started to groan.
"Okay, who invited this nobody?"
"Don't look at me, I didn't invite her."
"Great. There goes our trio of circle."
Ignoring the comments, I put up a smile.
"H-Hello. May I join you...?" I asked.
They stared at me, expressions unreadable, until one of them started to smile, handing me a paintbrush.
"Sure, you can." One of the girls said.
I was too delighted to see most of them walking away from the table they were at.
"Oh, that's good. I-uh, wait, where are you going?" I asked, watching as they left one by one.
I didn't get an answer except for one, to which one of them shouted,
"To get away from you!"
Which...really broke my heart. I stared at their retreating backs, the paintbrush still in hand, and before I'd realized it, a tear slipped down my gray cheek. Blinking, I wiped away the tear and stared at it. I didn't even know it felt so... cold to cry.
A soft roar of thunder was heard in the backgrounds, waking me from my daze thoughts. Looking up, I took note of the dark, angry clouds that threaten to rain down on me, so I dropped the paintbrush and started to run home, still silently crying.
"I should go make dinner. Sis must be hungry right now." If I could feel my heart right now, it would be heavy with grief.
Bitterness and envy swelled, but I pushed that aside. That was my sister! I shouldn't be jealous of her just because she is well-liked than me. I mean, it's not like she has a likable personality and I didn't. It wasn't like she could be more relatable than I was. It wasn't like she couldn't just put on a smile and fill the room with more energy than I could. I stopped and fell down on the sidewalk as the rain keep pouring on me, overflowing my tears in the process.
Who am I kidding...? I was lying to myself and I knew it. She had the personality that everyone loved, she's more outgoing and could speak her mind where I could not. I should be happy for her but then... Why am I so sad? I should be supportive but I'm blaming her for something that not her fault.
I got back up and ran home once more. After about a few minutes of running, I arrived home. I open the door and walked inside, still soaked. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe I just needed a personality change, since mine clearly wasn't working, while her's-
Oh, there I go again. Always brining her into something that wasn't even remotely her fault. I'm being a terrible sister, maybe I would be a terrible friend to have too. Maybe that's why nobody likes me, because I was an overall terrible person who can't even-
"Hey, Marble, why the long face? Besides the obvious I mean." A voice said, breaking me out of my cold train of thought.
Blinking, I stared incredulously at her, who had a bottle of ketchup in her hands. I felt bitter anger rising inside my chest, a voice inside my head screaming at the unfairness at it all.
"Oh, i-it's nothing sis. Just...the typical everyday life of little old me." I said, but my voice was laced with sarcasm that she instantly picked up on, and anything funny, or speech she was about to say to lighten up the mood evaporated.
"Weren't you out trying to make friends?" She asked, concern flowing in her voice.
"It's hard to make friends when nobody wants to be your friend." I scoffed, folding my arms.
I didn't notice at first, but tears were starting to form in my eyes.
"N-Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make dinner."
"What's for dinner?"
"...I don't know, hotdogs or something. Whatever I feel like cooking." I said, walking away from her.
I knew it was mean and out of character for me but... I just don't understand why I'm like this. I started to make dinner, absent-minded in the process. It wasn't until I got a tap on the shoulder when I snapped out of it.
"Heya, check this out. I got us a game to play!" She said, holding up book full of puzzles and crosswords.
I just gave her a look, neither out of anger nor sadness.
"Pinkie, those games are only one player."
"I know, but I went ahead and made copies, so I thought it'd be fun to do some kind of word search together. Maybe after that, watch some of your favorite tv shows." she said, giving me a wink.
Despite how I was currently feeling, I could feel my mood changing, just slightly.
"Think we can get some ice cream after? I want sprinkles on mine." she said, with a slight giddy tone in her voice.
I couldn't help but chuckle at that. Despite being slightly older then me, and everything about her, she was still a kid at heart.
"Sure. Anything you want." I said.
I couldn't help but smile.
"Thanks Pinkie...but now I've got to remake dinner since theirs no water in the pan." I said, and immediately rushed into the sink to start over.
Pinkie couldn't help but laugh at that. I was so easy to cheer up with her, but I hated it every time I was hurt, because when I was hurt, deeply, she would stop and do anything to make me happy, and that was something I couldn't do in turn. I was lucky to have such a wonderful big-sister like her.
Author's Note
Within everyone,exists both the needful and the needed. You know that the needful exists in you. Your own dissatisfaction tells you so. But you believe the needed is somewhere outside of you.
