Rest, But Wait!! Is the Doctor that Insane?!!!?
Previously on the Review Team,
Sir Cinemacus has repaired himself. The members are just chillin' and illin'. New York is still not over what has happened. The president is launching an investigation into the matter of the 'strange creatures' that were present. Let's just get on with it.
Life around the headquarters went just as usual. Spend a few hours watching a movie (in this case-The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari), hang out and mingle for a bit, return to respective homes.
Z-Squared may have had a point in terms of the monotony.
For some reason today, however, some of the members (namely Godzilla 2000, Twilight Sparkle, Finn, and Discord) were huddled up together as if they were planning something. Mr. Freeze decided now was a good day to make some frozen treats to pass the time while Mothra hovered over him to see that nobody was harmed. Marceline was allowing Basil and Fluttershy to check out some of her tracks via her ipod (how else do you think music in Ooo is shown around aside from concerts?).
Meanwhile in the meeting room,
"Let's see here...Stamp Collectors Inc? No. Pie eating contest? No. Pizza bagels are underrated. Renaissance Festival?"
"That be perfect for you."
"Be quiet, brother. I'm concentrating."
At the moment, Sir and Z-Squared were looking up various events being staged on Earth. A time away from the Headquarters was in order after the catastrophe that was the Golus incident.
"Look, not every event happening is gonna have celebrations involving jesters and jousts. Maybe a trip to the farmer's market in old Bellingham sounds nice." Z-Squared said.
Sir thought for a moment. Z-Squared had told him about Bellingham, Washington. It was a cute town that was once residence to Z-Squared before moving to Dallas, Texas. The farmer's market there had a good assortment of foods and items that Sir didn't feel like would cause any harm to look at.
"Hmmm...well, I have nothing better to do, so why not?" Sir got up and then teleported to where the members were.
"And like that, he's gone." Z-Squared remarked. "I've got to learn how to do that."
When he got there, he clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.
"My friends, I must announce that my dear brother and I are going off for a bit of relaxation. While we are gone, we request that none of you try to destroy anything or maim each other. I shall not allow it." Sir stated.
"Keep talking, dork." Marceline muttered.
"I heard that." Sir sighed. "Inexperienced as I am with most modern logic that doesn't concern technology like this-"
"Which basically translates to...everything, basically." Godzilla flatly said. "You would need an I.Q of 500 to make this!"
"How did you know that?" Twilight asked.
"I just guessed. Still see where I'm going?"
"This conversation is over." Sir said as Z-Squared entered.
"You heard him." Z-Squared said. "Let's not kill each other." Then he leaned over to the members. "Though I personally wouldn't mind one of you guys setting fire to his pizza bagel collection."
"Duly noted." Basil stated. He was still a little ticked by Sir's ignorance in the Golus incident.
"Let us be off." With that, Sir and Z-Squared left to the teleporter. In a flash of light, they were gone.
"Well, that just makes our plan easier." Discord whispered to himself.
Meanwhile at the Farmer's Market,
Although many heads turned, Sir and Z-Squared went through the crowd looking around. First Sir bought some nuts, then Z-Squared found some ripe oranges, and then they came at a standstill.
"I wish to go to that section." Sir insisted as he pointed to the right.
"How 'bout this section first?" Z-Squared pointed to the left.
Sir thought for a moment. "I have an idea. You go your way, and I shall go my way. A decent compromise, no?"
Z-Squared shrugged. "Sure. We brought our phones, right?'
Sir nodded. The 2 soon went their separate ways. Sir walked through the crowd, keeping his cloak around him so nobody would step on it and trip, until he saw a particular stand.
"A fortune teller? Hmmm. I did not know they had one here." Sir said as he walked towards it. "Perhaps I can upstage this person and show him what a TRUE magic user is like!"
Meanwhile, Z-Squared continued to walk through the area of any point of interest he could find.
"What I'd give for some pineapple for tonight." The poorly-drawn warrior remarked.
"Psst! Excuse me, my good sir!" Z-Squared thought he heard a voice behind him. He looked and he saw a seemingly senile, but kind-eyed man that used a cane to support him. He had a black top hat and a strange package in his other arm.
"Uhh....can I help you?" Z-Squared asked awkwardly.
"Oh, don't mind me, sir." The man shook his head. "I'm Dr. Caligari. Psychologist and upright citizen. I was just wondering if you would take a look at what I have here." He showed his package to Z-Squared. "This is an artifact I found at one point yesterday. I was hoping you would see it in all of its splendor."
Z-Squared wondered for a moment. 'If it's the latest drug, then I'm high-tailing it out of here'. He clenched the phone in his pocket in case this was a trap. He then picked up the package and opened it.
It was nothing more than a black rock spiral. It has some red markings, yet nothing more.
'Quite a find.' He thought to himself. 'I guess this man just wanted to show off. No harm do-'
Z-Squared's thoughts didn't get any far as he suddenly lost control of his mind in a flash of light. He then fell to sleep, yet his body moved...
Meanwhile, Sir was WAY too enamored with the fortune teller's work. He couldn't tell if they were falsehoods or truths, so that made the feeling of mystery only better.
"Um, sir, you're scaring my clients." The fortuneteller said. Sir paid no heed.
"Oh, and by the way..." Sir said. "Would you like to see my explosive lightning clothing trick?"
"...I'm calling the police."
Meanwhile at the Headquaters,
"Oh, Audrey Hepburn. You may not be as beautiful as my beloved queen, but your acting ability is second to none." Megatron sighed as he watched 'Two for the Road'.
Apparently, though he still despised humans, he grew quite fond of human actors that didn't act annoying or stupid. Audrey Hepburn was one of them.
BZIT!
"TAPEWORMS! WE'RE THE TAPEWORMS!" The TV suddenly blared.
Megatron was awakened from his stare as he saw what happened. "What in the name of-"
BZIT!
"WHEEL! OF! NOODLES!" The TV blared again with a new channel.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Megatron stood up.
BZIT!
"TRANSFORMERS 11: EXPLOSION OF THE ROBO-TITTIES! COMING SOON!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Megatron screamed.
Meanwhile...
"Ugh...where am I?" Z-Squared got up and then looked around. He was quite surprised to find padded walls filling up the place. There was a door in front of him as well. It didn't take him long to realize where he was.
"An insane asylum. Lovely." He shook his head. "HEY! Why am I here?!" Z-Squared pounded on the door. Or at least tried to as he was in a straight-jacket.
Just then, a familiar old man and a blank faced, stiff, ghoul-like being passed by and noticed his moment of distress.
"Ah! I see you have awakened." Dr. Caligari exclaimed from the other side of the door.
"Yeah. How about explaining why the hell I'm in a sanatorium...asylum...WHATEVER!" Z-Squared shouted.
"You are here to be cured. What else?" Caligari raised his arms as he said that.
"Cured? But...why" Z-Squared asked. "I can't think of anything I've done that would warrant this!"
Caligari then cleared his throat. "Humans, deep inside, have an insanity growing inside them. It usually happens between 16 and 24 years old. People start to hear voices, see things that aren't there, among other things. Overtime, the person grows more and more unhinged from reality. That is why I plan to remove the part of the brain that causes these symptoms."
"...that is the biggest bulls*** excuse to play a game of Operation with my head!" Z-Squared flatly said. "First of all, who is that behind you? Second, where are you getting funding for this? Third, I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW THE BRAIN WORKS! People get over those delusions overtime! IT would be one thing if I had abusive folks at home, but I don't. They're just stupid. You would know that if you bothered to look at my citizenship profile!" Z-Squared didn't care to mention that he was about 1000 years old. That would probably warrant insanity.
Caligari seemed silent for a while. "Questions, questions, questions. To answer your first one, this is my somnambulist, Cesare. Second, I am a legitimate doctor, so I do indeed gain funding. Also, you remain optimistic as the madness continues to creep upon you." He then looked at his watch. "I must be off."
As the 2 of them left, Z-Squared could hear some horrible voices from both sides of the room.
"I AM THE CHICKEN GOD!" cried the one from the left.
"The Kingdom of Lobsters needs me. Why can't I leave?" whispered another from the right.
Z-Squared had only one thing on his mind: escape. When he saw that the mad doctor and his somnambulist had left, he began to ram himself against the door of the room. He did it again...and again...and again...
"Why does everything feel lighter all the sudden?" He said to himself.
Until the door then feel down from all the stress. If anybody out there calls BS on that, keep in mind that Z-Squared is a metahuman (not that I'm trying to mock any of you all) and therefore his strength is actually impressive.
I had just wasted you time, didn't I?
Z-Squared's relief was replaced by alertness when the alarm set off.
"Of course. It's NEVER that easy!" The poorly drawn guy said. "What does this day take me for? Solid Snake?"
Meanwhile at the Headquarters...
Mothra was in a conversation with Marceline as the hours ticked away. No word of Sir and Z-Squared reached them.
"Are you sure they're okay?" Mothra asked.
"They'll pull through." Marceline said. "Not that I care."
Mothra then got in front of her. "Look, what happened with Sir was days ago. Second, what about Z-Squared?"
Marceline thought for a moment. "Well, might as well cut him some slack, being Sir's personal delivery/whipping boy and all."
"I'll admit. He's a devoted soul." Mothra replied. "I hope he and his brother are alright."
"Look, girl. You've gotta stop worrying. They can take care of themselves." Marceline assured.
Nearby...
"This guy is so gullible, it's almost sad." Discord remarked as he stood outside of where Megatron was trying to find the remote. "I like it!"
As it turned out, Discord had organized Godzilla, Finn, and Twilight to pull a prank on Megatron by stealing the remote and switching channels at random.
"Don't you think this is a bit immature?" Twilight remarked.
"Don't know. Don't care." Godzilla said. "This is actually pretty funny."
"Yeah! The big lug practically doesn't know what's hitting him!" Finn said. "Besides he's a jerk."
Twilight facehooved. "Look, fun's fun. But what if he finds out we're doing this?"
"Please." Godzilla replied. "I've faced off against mechs bigger than him. He's small fry compared to me."
"Oh! Watch this!" Discord grabbed the remote and switched it to another channel.
It was Full House.
At that moment, something in Megatron snapped. This was the final straw. He looked around even more thoroughly to see what was torturing him so. That was the moment he saw his tormentors. A look of hatred and determination etched his face.
Meanwhile at the asylum...
Z-Squared ran as fast as he could as the alarms kept screeching. The inmates were going wild from all the commotion. Z-Squared didn't care. All he knew was that he had to grab his communicator and sword. At the moment, his arms finally broke free of the straightjacket and he headed for the nearest room he could find.
"Okay! Step up from being tied up like a failed bondage victim!" Z-Squared said as he ran down the halls. "Now, time for a mini-fetch quest! Not the worst thing to happen in a place like this."
Inside, he found various dead patients on the floor. Their brains were forcefully cut open and there was a note that stated 'If I can't find any clients, I'll make some'.
"My point exactly." He said to himself, disgusted with what he saw. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say this guy was desperate for work. Money scheme or just plain wrongness? I'll make the call later."
Holding his lunch and running out, he was confronted with Cesare. Preparing himself for a fight, Z-Squared put up his fists.
"What's the matter?" Z-Squared taunted. "Got something to say?" He stopped for a moment. "Okay. That was low. Like, REALLY low. Can I try again?"
Cesare merely swung his arm at him and missed by an inch. Then he slammed his fist to crush him. A table paid the price. Then Z-Squared saw his sword encased in a glass case. Smashing it, he grabbed his conveniently placed weapon and swung at Cesare.
The man dodged but ended up jumping into a cabinet of needles. As Cesare's expression widened, lethal fluids were being injected into his back. A look of release came over the being before he fell over.
"A little harsh, but it makes this so much easier." Z-Squared sighed.
As he ran further, he found the main room. Deciding 'why the hell not', he looked into it. There, he found forged letters that declared he and so many others insane. No doubt that strange rock thing made the inmates sign those papers (I don't know how this asylum system works. Sorry.). Even more strange, he found Caligari's citizenship profile lying around. Or at lease, the name 'Caligari' was scrawled over his true name: Jerl Heines.
"Ummm....what a twist!" Z-Squared remarked before getting on with it.
Meanwhile at the Headquaters...
Megatron, now with a blank expression, suddenly walked over towards his giggling tormentors. Twilight was the only one trying to get there attention that he found out.
"Guys! Megatron saw us! Listen to m-" Twilight was cut off as she was picked up and shoved into the ground. Or rather, her horn was lodged into the ground. This got everyone's attention.
In the blink of an eye, Godzilla found his tail in his mouth. Finn backed away a bit before Megatron grabbed his hat and covered his body with it. Then, expression still blank, he pushed him so hard, he started to tunnel involuntarily through the ground. Discord tried to teleport, but his fingers were crushed within the Decepticon's claw.
"Look, Megs...let's not get in tizzy about a little bad show bizz." Discord calmly said as Megatron positioned the remote where the sun didn't shine on the chimera. "Wait...where are you aiming that th-"
SHOVE!
Let's just say the scream could be heard for miles across space.
"I hope this teaches you that I am not to be trifled with." Megatron contently said as he pulled the remote out of a clearly traumatized Discord. Everyone else was left to recover as Megatron went back to the room to get some well deserved rest.
Back at the Asylum...
Z-Squared, after regaining his clothes and phone, was about to call Sir. As he texted him were he was, Dr. Caligari jumped in front of him.
"YOU DON'T BELONG OUT THERE! YOU ARE THE INSANE ONE WHO MUST BE KEPT ALONE FROM THE WORLD! YOU MURDERED CESARE, AFTER ALL!" Caligari screamed as he unveiled the rock from earlier.
"Come to think of it," Z-Squared said. "I'm beginning to think you used that doohickey on the poor guy!"
"He needed to be purified! I swear it!" Caligari said as he got closer. "Also, he was blank to begin with. I don't take chances, is all!"
"You're just an old man out of work!" Z-Squared countered. "I could pick you apart bone by bone! Probably feel bad about it, though. I'm not into beating up old men."
"I may look old and infirm." Caligari stated. "But this here will prove you wrong about your notions of helplessness!"
With those words though, Z-Squared swung his sword, which managed to make contact with the rock. It soon flew across the room to parts unknown.
"NOOOO! WHERE DID IT GO?! TELL ME!" Caligari screeched.
"Shut up. Like I said, you're lucky I don't attack old people like you! I'm just planning on turning you in to the fuzz!" Z-Squared swung his sword in several complicated movements to intimidate the man. It ended up embedded in the floor, much to the warrior's embarrassment.
"I WILL NEVER BE TAKEN IN BY THOSE HACKS! NE-"
SLAM!
The doors behind Caligari (he was in front of the entrance doors if you must know) slammed down on him, crushing the life out of him.
"Am I late for something?" Sir asked. He had just arrived. "The police are on my tail. Do what you will and let us leave immediately."
"Nice entrance, brother." Z-Squared said. "I second that opinion."
A few moments later...
The authorities were notified via phone by Z-Squared about the place and they realized the truth about the horrible experiments being held at the asylum (which didn't really have a name. It looked like a dusty warehouse if anything) and they had the patients freed. They are now getting actual medical care.
"I'm just glad that's over." Z-Squared said as he crashed on the couch.
"I must keep in mind never to let you out of my sight." Sir commented. "I was worried sick! Not that any of this was your fault."
"Let's just drop it. I mean, this was a lame filler episode." Z-Squared said.
"Amen." Sir agreed.
Meanwhile,
"Is he over it yet?" Godzilla asked Twilight.
"Not really." Twilight replied. Apparently, Discord was still in pain from that incident.
"C'mon, Discord. Think of chocolate rain! Think of clouds made up of-Oh, who am I kidding" Discord whimpered. "This was a dumb plan!"
"It was kind of worth it to see the look on Megatron's face." Finn said as he applied an ice pack on his head.
"At least we didn't show him that 'Kiss Players' cartoon." Twilight said.
"What's that?" Godzilla asked.
"Uhhh..." Twilight looked awkwardly around.
Later...
"MY COUNTRY MADE WHAT?!" Godzilla screamed as he saw the content in question on the internet. "I GET THE SHOWER FIRST!"
As Godzilla ran off, Twilight decided enough was enough. Sleep was the best option.
"Well, at least nothing else went wrong." Twilight remarked.
Meanwhile at what was left of the asylum after the authorities closed in...
The rock stood on the floor. Nobody noticed it and nobody ever could.
Because at that moment, the rock sank into the ground as distorted laughter filled the room.
THE END
Author's Note
Cast:
Sir and Z-Squared-Themselves
Godzilla 2000-Patrick Siez
Twilight Sparkle-Tara Strong
Finn-Jeremy Shada
Megatron-Frank Welker
Discord-John De Lancie
Mr. Freeze-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marceline-Olivia Olsen
Fluttershy-Andrea Libman
Basil-Billy Zane
Mothra-Christina Valenzuela
Caligari/Jerl Hienes-Mark Hamil
Music:
Headquarters-Mii Theme
Market-Bazaar Theme from Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword
Z-Squared's Cell-Gigan's Theme from Godzilla Unleashed
Run through the Asylum-Encounter from Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Vs. Cesare-Krystalak theme from Godzilla Unleashed
Sir arrives-Final Fantasy Good Victory Theme
Evil Laughter-Prison from Slender
Credits-Night Falls from Tekken Tag Tournament 2
Nothing except for Sir and Z-Squared belongs to me.
See you soon!
