SPIKE gets a LECTURE from RARITY
Solution
Rarity raised her hoof to the ceiling, and brought down with it, onto the dragon’s cheek, the greatest bitchslap known to ponykind. Strands of alabaster caressed the smooth purple cheek, before a cloud of gray formed around the hoof as it made contact with the cheek.
Then the cloud exploded forth, with even the whistles of the wind whispering. “Ohhhh!”
Spike was forced to twirl his body down from the impact of the slap, until his legs buckled underneath him, and his face collided with the dusty wooden floor of the Ponyville library. Exact copies of Rarity began fading to existence around and above her, all hovering the same hoof over their lips, before a burst of laughter erupted from them.
Spike’s eyes began to slip close from the abundance of pain his body didn’t know how to endure. “R-Rarity…? W...why…?”
The light filtering in from the door fell upon the mare of perfection, painting her existence into stained glass that ponies would hold up next to angels and princesses. Spike tried to reach to the distant beauty, the one who held the key to his heart, but the door creaked shut and kept the light forever hidden.
“Oh my sweet little Spikey-Wikey.” Rarity smiled lit up the room in its own light, before the passing hoof hid them for a moment. Only to reveal a grin that spoke of another deep-secreted nature unknown to the light of day. “”How that nickname taunts vomit into my throat.”
Spike lifted his heavy eyelids to see the mare stepping closer. “What’s the matter Spikey? Having trouble getting back up after one little slap from a mare? Stallions are supposed to take beatings from one another, nonetheless, a dragon.”
“But…” Spike’s eyes gave away for breath. “...I’m just a kid.”
“A kid who dreams of doing alady in several unfavourable positions with unfashionable props on?” A frost spread throughout Spike’s chest, chilling it into numbness, while his claws scratched uncontrollably at the floor. “It was already cringe and painful to watch with you around, more so having to bear the thought you may actually like me. But of course, I stomached that putrid fish for the sake of Twilight – a friend we actually care about.”
Spike’s claw shook under the weight of lifting his body, being unable to raise his head, only to look up upon her with glistening eyes. “Twilight’s friends like me.”
“It’s exactly how you said it, Spike.” Rarity lowered her body so their eyes met. “Twilight’s friends, you said, but not, my friends.”
Her words echoed in his mind, drifting down the darkest reaches of his subconscious mind, digging up the fears his faulty confidence has done best to repress. Yet at the mere mention that his image may not be as it seemed, all cracked walls Spike had put up were shattered in the same instant.
“Processing it are you?” Spike lifted his body onto his knee, until a hoof laid upon the top of his head, and pushed his mug back to the floor and kept apply pressure. “The fact that your laugh causes us to put on a small smile and look away? That your jokes are cringey, not even redeemable in the light of those who make bad puns on purpose like Pinkie? At least she’s her own pony with her own personality – you’re just nothing.”
“But.” Spike pushed his head against the hoof, but another slammed atop his head, smooshing his cheek to the floor. “I’m Spike the Dragon!”
“And just who is that?” Rarity asked as she withdrew a hoof. “Most would call you a freak for being a dragon living among ponies. But I don’t care about what you are, but rather who. You’re Spike, the dragon that’s lazy and complains, but his rants are never funny! Don’t you ever think about the girls and compare yourself, only to realize you could never be unique as them?”
“I have traits!” Spike drifted his eye up, no longer struggling under her weight. “I help Twilight. I read books. I may not be the smartest, but…”
“But what?” Rarity continued, relenting her hoof. “Besides your inability to finish a sentence, or speak with a swerd of confidence in your voice? Who fully depends on others to see if what they're saying is funny or interesting?”
“I have to gauge if I’m being a bore or not. That’s why I don’t fully commit on my sentences sometimes.”
“Really?” Rarity said as if it were the most innocent thing in the word. “That sounds like your over-willingness to submit yourself to others whims: a pony pleasure. No one respects those types, nor does anyone want them around when we’ve found out their secret.”
Spike lifted his entire body against the one hoof that held him with ease. “That’s just me wanting to help ponies. To be like a hero!”
The hoof applied its full weight, where Spike found his face being rubbed along the floor. “A hero? Please, you more like a villain to our ears, unable to stand tall like a dragon should. Don’t you get it by now? You’re useless Spike! Just a nuisance we deal with on a daily basis, who no one has had the guts to tell that’s he’s cringe.”
The hoof lifted off from his face and retracted backwards. “You’re annoying and just get in the way of us real friends. We’re forced to keep you around for the sake of the circumstance. Trying to keep you quiet works, but your presence still bites on the nerves, and when you do speak we do our best to shut you up A.S.A.P.”
Bubbles filled with the faint imagery of memories clouded into Spike’s vision, all highlighting around the forced smiles he had missed at the moment, now tearing at his heart at the realization of his own ignorance.
Deep down, however, Spike always knew.
“I-I-I can change! Become a better dragon. Change my personality for the better. Improve my comedy. Learn how to speak others with my chest stuck out!”
Multiple ‘tchs’ echoed out from Rarity’s lips. “But my sweet dearest Spike! Don’t you see? No matter how much you change on the outside, on the inside, you will always be fundamentally the same. You will always be the cringe lord we all secretly know you as.”
Rarity turned for the door, but glanced back at the dragon who was stifling his cries.
“If I’m always doomed to be like this, then what should I do, Rarity?”
The mare smiled, before fully looking back on him. “Isn’t it obvious, dear? Kill yourself.”
Rarity opened the door and left the library.
And then Spike went to check that no one was home.
