Rainbow dash giggled to herself as she watched from a cloud perch. It was a perfect opportunity. Applejack was resting under one of her trees, while the crusaders were practicing potions. Putting a bit of dust sprinkled around their work area would provide sufficient...er...it would make it look like an accident.
'Horse apples, Twi's gonna make an egghead outa me at this rate,' the Pegasus lamented
Turning back to her friend/victim, the rainbow-maned Pegasus shook off the thought. Poison Joak was notoriously difficult to predict, at least on the first time it activates on a pony. After that, subsequent exposures would have the same effect. She'd made certain of this, even going so far as to expose herself to the pollen three times over the course of the week to be certain. The only difference in each hex from the plant was the intensity. Sometimes her wings would flutter every now and again, causing her to stumble slightly, sometimes her wings buzzed almost constantly. The latter incident had required a water balloon from Pinkie to cure as she couldn't hold still long enough to cure herself normally. Now all she had to do was be present when the pollen took effect.
"Rainbow Dash!" a voice shouted from above her, causing her to jump.
Twilight landed on the cloud beside her, glaring.
"You better not be pulling another prank, Dash. You're still in trouble from the last one you pulled."
Dash winced. It was why she had decided she couldn't take the fall for this prank in the first place. It's not like she expected the stuffy delegate to demand reparations that were totally disproportionate to the damages incurred...er...he asked for way too much for an apology.
"I was just waiting to spook AJ when she woke up..."
Twilight stared at her looking for any sign of deception, but her opponent was a born liar-wait, no. She just had a lot of experience. No - argh!
"In that case you can Head over to town hall and start passing out the mayor's notices to the rest of Ponyville. I offered her your name as part of your community service requirement," Twilight said. "Mayor Mare will be expecting you within the next ten minutes."
Rainbow gave one last glance at the sleeping apple farmer before sighing in defeat. The only way to apply the antidote at the moment would be to do so in front of Twilight, outing herself and likely getting herself in more trouble. She took off for the town hall, making a mental note to come back as soon as she was done to keep an eye on Applejack.
"It figures, the best prank on AJ to date and I can't be there to enjoy it," the rainbow mare muttered as she sped off.
Applejack woke up some time later, looking around in confusion.
"Tarnation, I musta slept longer than ah thought," she said upon seeing how dark it was. Strange, though. She couldn't see any stars in the sky and the weather forecast was clear until tomorrow.
"Oh Tartarus, just how long was Ah out?"
Noticing a strange amount of light coming from nearby, the mare trotted towards the glow. As she neared it, she also noticed the ceiling seemed to drop down lower.
'That don't make a lick of sense. The only reason it would drop lower was iffin'it weren't the sky, but Ah can feel the grass and...oh Celestia...'
Applejack walked out from under the object, which turned out to be her hat of all things. Not only did the Stetson dwarf her, everything around her dwarfed the earth pony mare. There was only one time she'd ever been this small though. And there was only one mare she could think of that would put her through this again.
"When Ah get mah hooves on that varmint, Ahm gonna make her wish she'd never heard of poison joak!"
Applejack sighed, sitting down hard. It looked like it was about an hour or two before supper time. Applebloom would...not be of any help because she was going to be spending the day with the rest of the crusaders and then spending the night at Rarity's. In that case, she just needed to wait till supper. Big Mac would note her absence and...do nothing because he and Granny Smith were in Appleloosa visiting family. Something about the buffalo bringing back a few weird apple seeds from their migration and offering the discovery to the apple clan as a gift. Granny didn't have to be there but the buffalo were big on honoring ones elders, not to mention Granny was curious about the new seeds.
'Which leaves me up a crick,' the orange mare lamented.
No Bloom, no Mac, not even Dash was around at the moment. Poison joke was never reliable as far as she knew. It was possible Rainbow was planning for her to be affected later on and wasn't going to show up for a while.
Asking the cows crossed her mind, but they'd gone on a stampede two days ago when a mouse managed to get close without being noticed. Once it was noticed by Bessy she'd panicked, whipping the rest of the ladies into a frenzy right quick. Being the only one who could stop the cows from stampeding that was present at the farm, AJ couldn't risk stirring them up on accident. Fluttershy's cottage wasn't too far away, at least at her normal size. The problem there was the number of animals. Yes there was a neutral zone around the Pegasus mare's cottage, but the high number of animals extended a bit beyond what was neutral territory.
"Zecora ain't an option either," the farmer muttered, kicking at a grass seed. "Everfree's dangerous enough at full size, Ah won't even be able to see the trail without standin' on it. Not somethin' Ah wanna be doin' in a forest fulla dangerous critters."
There was really only one option at that point that she could consider. Taking a deep breath, pawing the dirt, and spitting to her right, Applejack faced the Crystal Castle. It was a monument that was still visible even at her reduced stature, one that contained an alicorn princess who would be willing and able to help and most importantly, had a scanning spell on her porch that would notify her if one of her five friends approached the door.
"Ain't like anypony's gonna notice for a long while and Ah ain't gettin' saved just standin' here," the minuscule farmer said. With one last glance to her hat, she started down the path to Twilight's castle.
<-(0)->
After nearly an hour of trotting along the path at a quick pace the orange earth pony slowed, her breathing becoming slightly labored. Applejack scuffed the ground as she caught her breath. She'd been going for so long and at such a quick pace and yet she'd only just approached the farmhouse.
"Land sake's and that's with startin' only a field off."
At this rate it would take another four hours to reach the castle, likely more. If it wasn't for Applebloom carrying her last time, she'd never have made it to Twilight's library in time!
A gust of wind kicked up dust and she raised a hoof to shield her eyes. A shadow fell over her and suddenly, she was thrown from her hooves from a powerful impact that struck way too close.
Shaking herself, Applejack looked up to see grey. A wall of grey fur that she saw almost every day.
"Derpy! Derpy, down here!
Her voice didn't carry through, the grey Pegasus mare going about her business of delivering the mail. Shouting in frustration, the orange earth pony rushed the mailmare and twisted, delivering a powerful buck to Derpy's forehoof.
"Whoa, whoops!" The grey mare muttered, tottering slightly. The pegasus tried to steady herself with her wings, flapping them erratically. The more she tried to recover her balance though, the more the flailed. Applejack squawked in fear, seeing the giant pony starting to totter precariously. The miniature farmer turned to flee for the porch steps, but it was too late.
With a final "Oh horse apples," the towering pony fell onto her backside.
For Applejack the moments after her frustrated buck passed by in slow motion. Derpy shifted with the blow, then swayed back, her hooves slipping as she tried to catch herself. The mailmare's flank stuck the mailbox, snapping the wooden post and sending the mailbox itself rolling away in a terrible clamor. Derpy twisted once more in an attempt to right herself and a deep shadow fell over the farmer. Turning to look, Applejack stared in horror as the grey pegasus' titanic butt slowly fell from above.
'This is how Ah die,' the farmer thought as she ran. 'A prank from Dash that ends with me bein' sat on by the mailmare.'
The shadow deepened, the grey fur of Derpy's butt filling the sky. A weight finally reached her, pressing in from all sides. The farmer waited for death to come...and waited...
'Ah'm not dead?'
Her eyes slowly adjusted to the dimmed light, giving her a view of an incredibly small corridor where fur filled the space between Derpy's crack. By some manner of miracle, AJ was directly in line with the mailmare's butt cheeks, saving her from the weight of a full grown mare. Gulping, the farmer looked up, spotting an asshole that was bigger in circumference than she was. Derpy shifted a bit and the large, dark ring drifted closer as if threatening to consume her.
There was a rumbling giggle from above and Derpy rose to her hooves, leaving her almost-victim to shakily rise to her own hooves. On either side of the orange earth pony, within a few paces to her left and right the grass was flat, pressed down into the earth by a great weight. Even a nearby pebble was currently half-buried in the dirt, a silent testament to just how close she herself had come to being crushed under the pegasus' mass.
She watched in a daze, still reconciling her continued existence when she saw Derpy moving to try and fix the mailbox. The walleyed mare struggled for a bit, calling for one of the residents of the farmhouse but never noticing the orange spot trying to gain her attention. With a shrug, the mail mare lifted the mailbox up and set it on the porch.
By this time Applejack had given up trying to communicate with the mailmare. Instead she was eyeing the mail bag, set aside while Derpy tried to fix the broken mailbox. It was crazy, it was dangerous, but it would save her hours of travel just getting to town at her current size. Even better, she may be able to use the mail to get herself delivered to a friend!
Seeing a possible end to her predicament, Applejack tore off towards the bag at top speed. The bag was opened, a few spilled letters prividing a ramp straight into the satchel for the shrunken farmer.
She wasted no time in looking over the addresses as best she could, finally finding one addressed to Twilight. It was a letter though, too thin for her to crawl into even if it hadn't been meticulously sealed. It would also be dangerous to enter. The envelope would provide no protection from the shifting contents of the mailbag.
Just as she heard Derpy returning to the bag she spotted a possible solution. A small box addresses to the Cakes, a hole in its side. It was the perfect solution. Darting over to the box, the miniature pony wiggled inside, shoving aside a packing peanut and settling in. The bag shifted then rose, causing the stow away to slip around as the package twisted. The opening she'd used was now on the ceiling.
"No goin' back now," Aj muttered, looking at the now-unreachable exit.
Though it was dark, she could just barely make out the shape of something in the box with her. She squinted, looking down on the item from her packing-peanut perch. It looked like some type of mold. Perhaps the Cakes needed a new one after their old one had broken? Celestia knew she'd worn out tools before due to overuse.
Grabbing onto the foam she was currently sitting on, Applejack braced herself for the ride ahead. The world lurched and her stomach dropped. Derpy was now airborne, leaving AJ secured to her with nothing more than a single strap of a mailbag.
"Oh sweet Celestia, why'd Ah do this to mahself?"
<-(0)->
The trip was surprisingly quiet. Having seen Pegasi fly, particularly having seen the drunken weaving Derpy was prone to, Applejack was certain there would be more jostling of the mail. Instead, even those few times when she swore she'd ended up upside down for a second hadn't so much as left a peanut out of place. The ride was so smooth in fact that by the time her package was delivered to the Cakes the miniature mare had almost fallen asleep.
She was awoken rudely by a sudden impact, sending her falling deeper into the box and rolling off of the mold even as a distant voice apologized.
There was another distant voice, this one sounding dismissive before the package was picked up and carried inside. To her confusion the trip seemed longer than it should have been, leaving the tiny pony to wonder if the mailmare had delivered the package to the right house. It wouldn't be the first time she got an address backwards.
After bounding along for a minute she felt the box land heavily as it was finally set down. Applejack made her way through the peanuts to the only source of light, wiggling back out of the small hole and exiting the box to find herself-
"Nope. Not happinin. No way no how," the pony muttered, turning around and walking right back into the box. She'd wait until Mrs. Cake brought the box back upstairs to be thrown out. There was no way in Tartarus she was going to end up stuck in the Cakes' basement with...that stuff.
Applejack watched as silence as Mrs. Cake removed the black mold from the box and carried it over to a shelf of-
'Oh man, that ain't no mold, is it?' the farmer shuddered.
-other things and returned to the box, taking a flap in her muzzle and carrying it back upstairs. AJ heard the door close behind the blue mare, likely kicked shut with a hind leg. The box then was carried into the back room of the bakery and dropped in the trash. As if wanting to make the farmer's life more difficult, Mrs. Cake pushed the box down, packing it deeper into the garbage can before shaking the can, causing a few more things to fall on top of it.
Stepping out of the box, Applejack quickly started looking for a way out of the can. Ponyville dump was not only in the wrong direction, it was even farther away from the town than her farm was. She didn't want to experience the kind of trauma she was exposed to in the basement for nothing. Looking about at the trash around her, she began picking her way towards the edge. An empty carton of eggs, a crumpled bag of flour, an old receipt, even a few torn up scraps of paper. All of these items sat in such a way as to make a ramp upwards. Upwards the mare climbed, hoping that she managed to reach the top before somepony decided the trash was full enough to take out.
Applejack tripped as the ground shifted. Another balled piece of trash, a cupcake wrapper still filled with frosting from the looks of it, fell through a hole above and landed heavily behind her. The incline she was standing on increased slightly, almost causing her to slide back but she quickly pulled herself to the next piece of trash.
Looking back at the now much steeper path she blew out a breath of relief. She'd forgotten about that. A trashcan, especially one belonging to a small business like Sugarcube Corner, would be in range for use by both the owners and customers. That actually played to her advantage. Sure the can would receive trash almost constantly and would quickly be filled but in the meantime there would be plenty of ponies tossing things away. Plenty of chances to hitch a ride out of the trashcan and, at the very least, to the floor. If push came to shove, she may even be able to jump onto the pony who took the trash out back.
"If it gets taken outside it'd be the end of me, though. Can't let it go that far."
Continuing her journey, Applejack soon found the trash around her thinning into small candy wrappers and a few towels. There was one rolled up tissue, but she luckily was on the opposite side of the can from it. Unfortunately that was where her luck ended. The trash was low after being pressed down, too low for her to jump the wall and escape. She'd need to wait for-there!
One pony, done with his shake, tossed his straw into the trash separate from his cup, leaving a tube that wasn't too steep and went over the ridge of the can. The inside would have been a good choice if she was a bit smaller, but as it was the straw would have taken too long to shimmy up even if she could fit. Not only that, the tip of the straw was hooked down. She'd likely be looking at a sheer drop on the outside with no way to proceed.
Climbing up the straw slowly and carefully, AJ winced every time a new piece of trash passed over her head. Once or two even struck the straw, causing it to shift and rock underneath her. Still she held on tight, knowing that with every new item added to the bin, her time dwindled even further. Cresting the top of the straw, she breathed a sign of relief. Victory was-
"Pinkie dear, could you take out the trash?"
"Oh horse apples," Applejack muttered, watching as a large blur of pink was rushing towards her current location. She braced herself, feeling the pink pony impact the can and send it rattling slightly. Applejack swore, feeling her grip on the straw failing. She couldn't fall back into the trashcan! it could be days before the next collection, forcing her to sit in rotting trash until it was tossed into a larger cart of garbage. If she ended up in that situation, it was very likely she'd starve before she managed to reach the castle. With a cry of fear, she threw herself forward, falling off the straw towards the outside of the can.
"Oh and when your done with the trash, could you deliver this to-"
Applejack didn't hear the rest of the request, as her world had become a forest of pink. Responding to Mrs. Cakes call, Pinkie had swung around lightning fast, causing her tail to intercept the falling farmer. The orange mare flailed in the pink forest, trying to get enough of a grip on the hairs to arrest her fall. She managed to do so, though she found herself uncomfortably close to the bottom edge of her friends tail.
Hanging on for dear life, Applejack swore to herself even as she slowly slipped lower and lower. The floor of the bakery wasn't somewhere she wanted to be, but at this rate it was better than the alternative. With a final squawk of fear, she slipped from the tail, falling quite a distance...at least it seemed like it to her. The landing was rough but Applejack quickly shook it off, moving for the wall. Ponies didn't walk on the edges of a room, after all. It would be safe from hooves and even most dropped trash. Slowing down as she approached a cupcake wrapped that was pressed against the wall, Applejack climbed into the wrapper and slumped. This was insane, it was impossible, she was going to die, she-
Her stomach gurgled in protest, causing her to take a second look at the wrapper she was sitting in. The wrapper that was coated a layer of cupcake crumbs. The miniature pony winced as another gurgle emanated from her belly, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. With a bit of apprehension, she bit into the crumbs, chewing carefully as she tested the age of the crumbs. They'd felt soft, perhaps they'd taste okay?
It tasted pretty good actually. Leave it to the Cakes to make a pastry who's crumbs taste great. Applejack quickly went about eating as much from the wrapper as she could, soon settling into the wrapper with a content sigh. For a while the mare dozed in her wrapper, safely against the wall and now filled with cupcake. It wasn't too hot, not too warm. It made the madness around her matter slightly less for a time.
A few close impacts woke her from her daze, causing the mare to look up in a sleepy daze. Before she was fully awake the wrapper was being spread open, huge cream-colored hooved moving over the wrapper and leaving Applejack in the open. She blinked awake, looking up to see Pound Cake, the colt of the Cake twins licking the wrapper with gusto.
AJ fled, running across the wrapper towards the wall like her tail was on fire. The tongue passed by on her right, then her left. A hoof slammed directly in front of her and she tripped, rolling on the crumbly surface before stopping on her back. The muzzle of Pound Cake surrounded her, biting down on the wrapper as best he could. Applejack screamed and tried to scramble to the sides even as Pound picked up the wrapper in his mouth, licking the treat happily.
"Pound, ew, put that down this instant!"
Applejack felt the foal jerk in shock at being caught before he took off, his tiny wings buzzing for all he was worth. Squeezing through the foals lips even as it continued to nibble on the cupcake wrapper, she watched in fear as the world zipped by below her, the little pegasus currently flying around the house as he evaded Pinkie Pie. Landing on top of a dresser, the pegasus colt began eating as much of the cupcake as he could. Applejack fell from his lips, landing on the dresser in a splatter of saliva and cake crumbs. She struggled, trying to free herself of the foul mixture even as more crumbs rolled around her. Turning around, she screamed once more as the foals tongue began dragging along the top of the dresser. The tongue reached her, slowly lifting her from the wooden surface and pulling her into the dark of the foals maw. With a simple thought, the pressure increased, pulling her and everything currently occupying the mouth towards the back of the throat. Another pulse and she was done, the muscles of the colt's esophagus dragging her down into the depths of his body.
Applejack screamed in horror as the pull gave way to the touch of gravity, causing her to plummet a short distance into a thick goop. She surfaced, coughing and sputtering. She couldn't see much of anything, only vague shapes in the darkness. A few floating clumps of food floating in a small pond of slurry.
Clambering onto one, Applejack stared around her in mute horror. She'd survived getting sat on, getting thrown into a trash can, the trip from her apple orchard back to the farm, all to die here. She looked around her as her panic set in, jumping back into the chime to reach the muscular walls of her prison. She lashed out at the dark walls, striking them again and again as her breathing quickened. All she received in response though was the muffled scolding Pinkie was giving the foal, the sloshing of the shifting fluids and the echoing beat of the colt's heart. Pulling herself back onto a floating island of chewed food, Applejack stared into the darkness. She was done. There was no way out, her voice was already proven useless, her raft was slowly dissolving around her and nopony would know. Nopony would know what became of her. Choking back a sob, the farmer's world faded to black.
