Crazy Clam Calamity

The day had finally came, ponies were gathered around the town hall as the Lightning Seven were sitting amongst each other as Twilight readied her speech. “My fellow Equestrians.” Twilight started out, “As you all know, yesterday we were visited by these seven individuals.” She gestured to the mercenaries.

“Even after this can we really trust them?” A stallion in the crowd asked.

“Yeah, those guys were frightening during that invasion.” A mare added, “Especially that fish thing!” Scalor now knew he went over the top the other day as he began to turn from orange to red.

“Everyone, please calm down.” Twilight said trying to get the ponies attention again, “They are not from this world, they dont know the way our society works.” This lead to hushed mutters amongst the ponies in the crowd, “I want them to feel welcome, but this sort of action isnt helping at all.”

“Exactly fools!” A strange voice sounded over the crowd, the ponies turned to look upon a small robot, “They’ll just break everything they touch, like us but we do it with charm.”

“Clam-Borg!” Outlook exclaimed, surprised at the ambitious yet foolish robot.

“Yes, it is I!” The clam shouted trying to make him sound threatening, “The boss has sent me to deliver a message!” He grabbed a pair of glasses that did not cover his one large optic as his shells grabbed a small piece of paper before throwing the items away, “Forget this! Prepare to face my wrath!”

The ponies were terrified by the bot but the fish cyborg in the room was unimpressed, “Really, you guys are scared of this fool?” Scalor asked, “This guy is the most pathetic thing! Look at him, he cant hurt squa-” Sure enough the cyborg was ambushed and his head was detached and encased in the clam shells hovering around the bot.

“Ha, you have been thwarted! Fool!” Clam-borg said before rolling off, “Come and get me!”

Scalor’s suit seemed to be angered as it just jumped up and down and signalling his team to help it in getting the head back; unfortunately no one could understand it, or they could and they were just shocked the body was moving quite well even with the head removed before it ran off after the rogue robot.

Normally it would be disturbing if a headless being was chasing another, but in this case it was darn comical; Scalor’s body was chasing the robot that had took his head through out the whole town as the robot running for its artificial life was laughing at the ordeal as if he was mocking the body.

“Come on it’s almost like you don't want your head back!” Clam-borg said as he accelerated back into the middle of town. It seemed the chase would’ve gone on forever if it wasn't for Spike sticking his foot out causing the robot to fly up into the air and fall down like a beat up trash can

“Curses!” The robot said, “How did you know that gravity was my ONLY weakness?”

“You’re on one wheel, it seemed too easy.” Spike said allowing Scalor’s body to catch up and start to pry at the shells holding his head.

Scalor’s suit tried everything; from chainsaws, to crowbars, and even shell crackers, all were in vain as each of those tools just broke at the first attempt. “Nice try, but my shells are password guarded!” Clam-borg smugly said, “And they wont open until i say the word ‘Open’.” Immediately he regretted his decision to talk as the shells opened giving the body the opportunity to grab his head and place it back where it belongs.

“That’s better...” Scalor sighed before he stared down the little robot, “Tell us where Jaggor is!” He demanded.

“Like I'd tell you losers.” Clam-borg said before Slash grabbed him making the robot feel like a chocolate egg compared to the alligator’s size.

“You better start talking, because i might have a sudden craving for clam chowder.” Slash said as he began to lick his lips.

“No! Not the milk, anything but the MILK!” The robot shouted as he began to cower in fear, “Alright you win...I’ll give you guys his location.” And he was true to his word as a small chip that had the coordinates to Jaggor’s base of operations.

“Now as for you! Tell us what we want to know you rotten shellfish!” Circuit exclaimed, “You got two options here; either run back to your boss, or deal with our hungry friend over there.”

Clam-borg didn't need any other choice as he explained everything to them. The ponies could not hear a word as the bot soon began to cart off as fast as his wheel could take him until he was no longer visible. Soon as that was done The Lightnings headed off towards Twilight’s castle. Twilight pondered what to do next until she noticed the ponies were now agreeing with the opinions she was giving, ”I think we’ve unanimously reached an agreement here…” She said before she and her friends taking off leaving the crowd alone.

“What were we talking about again?” A random citizen asked after a long time of silence.

The feeling was tense as Twilight and her friends tried to convince the seven mercenaries to not go off on a suicide mission to find this Jaggor character. Sure it seemed like they had some kind of history with him, but they weren't going to let them go off like they were.

“Ya'll cant just go all gung-ho like this!” Applejack objected as she saw the seven pack up what little belongings they had.

"Well despite what you saw with Clam-borg, the rest of Jaggor's minions are no picnic." Outlook said trying to keep himself from laughing.

"Besides, we got a Vector graphic map after shaking the sucker down for info, so we're up for the trip." Circuit added as he looked at a crude looking map showing some sort of mountain range.

"But you guys don't know a think about Equestria!" Twilight shouted, "If anything you guys could die the next day!"

"A risk we're willing to take." Dice said holding his sword close to him.

"Nonsense!" Rainbow replied, "I know we've just met ya like...yesterday, but we fight evil things like every other month"

"I wouldn't put it like that Rainbow, but yes she is correct." Rarity said, "If anything I think we could help in your journey darlings."

"Guess that could work." Circuit said, "What do you think Scalor?"

"Yeah, but you guys are going to need to pack, because I doubt you guys can live off of a few crackers and water." The cyborg said as he shook his bag to show off a few saltines and a warm bottle of water.

"Duly noted." Twilight said, "Girls go and pack what you think you'll need, I need to notify the princess about this mission of ours." With that Twilight disappeared.

A few days later the group was ready and the group was ready for their journey ahead of them. "This is going to be a long trek, but I'm sure we can manage." Scalor said before looking at the ponies, "Last chance guys, you sure this is something you're willing to do?"

"If we weren't then why did we spend two days prepping?" Twilight asked, "If anything that'd be pointless."

"Fair enough." Outlook said as he lugged his back pack which seemed to be three times as huge as he was, "Let's go my friends!" He exclaimed right before falling over.

The group just sighed as Razor looked at the foolish owl, "This is going to be a long trip..."