WHERE IS THE BUCKING LIBRARY?!!
“At last, The Great and Powerful Trrrrrrrrrrrrixie shall have her long awaited avenge on Twilight Sparkle! Nothing shall get in my way this time, Trixie has planned for this for several weeks, NOTHING WILL STOP ME!!”
“Um, are you quite done?” a brown stallion in overalls asked “We kind of need to move this stage prop to the theater?”
“Humph, ungrateful whelp!” Trixie stumbled off the set falling flat on her face. “THE GREAT AND POWERFULL TRIXIE MEANT TO DO THAT!” she mumbled as the stage hands laughed. Trixie picked herself up and trotted away, nose stuck high in the air. “Stupid simpletons, their just jealous of my talent and smoking hot bod! No matter, no matter. After today NOPONY will make fun of Trixie again, now to put my Great and Powerful plan into action……. As soon as I can remember where the Library is.”
Trixie suddenly stopped in her tracks. Had it really been that long since her last visit? “Oh well, certainly somepony in this town knows where the library is. “YOU, YOU THERE WITH THE STUPID EXPRESSION!”
A large red stallion paused and turned to face Trixie with an unamused look.
“The Grrrrrrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie needs to find the library, can you please point the way? I know it might be too much for your tiny incompetent brain to tell me in words, so if you will just point the way Trixie would be most ………. Er………. Whatever that term is ponies use when ponies help them and what not!”
“Eeenope!” the red stallion rolled his eyes and continued on his way, making careful sure to hit a mud puddle on the way splashing Trixie in the face.
“Well, SOMEPONY certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” Trixie wiped the mud out of her face. Maybe Trixie can find a map somewhere around her or……….” Trixie suddenly spotted a rather familiar face walking up the street “YOU THERE! OLD AND UGLY!”
The mare in question spun around on the spot to face Trixie “Can I help……Oh it’s YOU!”
“FINALLY some recognition in this Celestia forsaken village!” Trixie puffed out her chest oblivious to the venom in the mare’s voice. “You are still the leader of this flea bitten rat race you call a town, are you not?”
“I am Mayor Mare, yes!”
“Whatever, Trixie is looking for the library and could use some directions. Or a map, Trixie is not picky.”
“There are maps available to tourist in the town hall!”
“Trixie is not a tourist! Trixie is here for revenge!”
“Revenge?” Mayor Mare repeated.
“Yes, revenge! Trixie is going to deck Twilight in the snoze!”
“You wish to deck Twilight in the snoze?” Mayor Mare repeated again.
“Is there an echo in here? Yes, Trixie is going to deck Twilight in the snoze, and then sleep with her caressing her silky purple mane while Twilight tells Trixie all the naughty things she’s always wanted to do to her!”
Mayor Mare just looked at Trixie with an irritated expression. “Let me get this straight, you want me to tell you where you can find Twilight’s library, so you can deck her in the snoze, and then sexually molest her!”
“YES! How is that so difficult for your incompetent brain to comprehend?”
“Alright What’s going on here?” a shrill yet masculine voice rang out. Trixie and the Mayor turned around to see a small purple dragon glaring up at them, mostly at Trixie though.
“Trixie here wants to punch Twilight in the face!”
“Deck her in the snoze!” Trixie corrected.
“Whatever, and she’s apparently also in love with her!” Mayor Mare said with a slight smirk.
“TRIXIE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH TWILIGHT SPARKLE, TRIXIE MERELY IS HOT FOR TWILIGHT’S BOD!!!” Trixie screamed causing several heads to turn.
“Ok, whatever you say!”
“Trixie is tired of these games! Trixie demands Twilight’s pet lizard take her to Twilight and her library this instant!”
“Ok FIRST of all I’m her ASSISTANT, not her pet lizard!” Spike corrected her “And secondly Twilight doesn’t live in a library, she lives in a ca…….”
“QUIET! Do you think Trixie is stupid?”
“Actually yes!” Spike and Mayor Mare said in union.
“Whatever, Trixie knows Twilight lives in a library. Trixie stayed there the last time Trixie was here. Trixie even stole a lock of Twilight’s mane from her brush, and sleeps with it every night wishing she could snuggle with Twilight that way……”
“…………. That is most disturbing!”
“SPIKE!” Mayor Mare scolded “It’s not nice to make fun of ponies with mental issues!”
“HOW DARE YOU! TRIXIE IS THE PICTURE OF PERFECT SANITY!!”
“Perfect insanity maybe?” Spike muttered under his breath.
“Fine let’s ALL insult Trixie! Anypony else want to hop on the make fun of Trixie bandwagon?”
“Your breath stinks!” Mayor Mare replied raising her hoof.
“YOUR UGLY!” Another voice shouted from above.
“I REALLY HATE YOUR MANE!”
“BE QUITE!! TRIXIE’S MANE IS SEXY!! TRIXIE NAMED IT FERNANDO, AND LEFT IT EVERYTHING IN HER WILL!” Trixie cried.
Spike furrowed his brow “………You named your mane Fernando?”
“YOUR JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOUR NOT SEXY LIKE FERNANDO!!”
Mayor Mare’s right eyelid began twitching more fervently “You know what? I think I am going to go take that vacation everypony has been telling me to take for years, maybe see if Prince Blueblood has room for one more in his hot tub!”
Trixie rolled her eyes as she watched Mayor Mare leave before rounding on Spike again. “Alright Trixie has had enough of these games, The GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE demands you take her to Twilight’s library NOW!”
“Oooooooooh, did I hear someone say games?”
“OH MY CELSTIA HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?” Trixie snapped as Ponyville’s premier party pony appeared beside her seemingly out of nowhere. “TRIXIE SENT NO MORE THEN FIFTY EXPLOSIVES TO YOUR HOUSE LAST TUESDAY!!”
“Huh?” Pinkie tilted her head “Oh, you mean all those weird ticking boxes? Mr. and Mrs. Cake had me get rid of them as they were taking up too much space!”
“Wait, what did you do with them?” Spike asked
“Oh, I sent them to Twilight’s castle for storage!” Pinkie chimed.
“……………. Well that explains the massive explosion that took out the entire west wing. Twilight was blaming me for leaving the stove on!” Spike sighed.
“…………. Wait, so Trixie’s bombs ended up destroying some of Twilight’s property?”
“OUR property!” Spike corrected “And yes!”
“YES!!” Trixie cried “ONCE AGAIN THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE IS VICTORIOUS!!” Then she stopped and spun around to face Spike “Wait, what was that about Twilight owning a castle?”
Spike sighed bringing a claw to his face. “Twilight got a new castle about a year ago after the library burnt down!”
Trixie tilted her head in thought “So…………… Twilight’s library burned down and she got a castle?”
“YES, how is that so hard to under…….”
“So if Trixie burned down a library, would she get a castle too?”
“…………. I don’t think that’s how it works.” Spike began.
“Silence reptilian! If it worked for Princess Twilight it can work for Trixie, now where is Ponyville’s library?”
“It burned down, where you not listening to a single word I said!” Spike seethed.
“Ok, ok, but if Trixie were to burn down a library someplace else, would she be entitled to her own castle?”
“Um, I REALLY don’t think that’s how it works. Plus, that sounds kind of mean!” Pinkie pointed out.
“TRIXIE DID NOT ASK YOUR OPINION ANNOYING PINK ONE!”
Spike frowned “Obviously it would not!”
Trixie recomposed herself in her usual air of indifference. “Trixie will deal with this matter later, for now it seems The Great and Powerful Trixie has bested Twilight Sparkle!”
“So that means you’re going to leave now and never come back?” Spike asked hopefully.
“Of course not, Trixie still wants to sleep with Twilight and lick her hooves!”
“I beg your pardon?” Spike raised an eyebrow.
“Trixie wants to see if Twilight’s hooves taste as good as Trixie imagined. Also Trixie needs to clip another lock of Twilight’s tail so she can fantasize about Twilight taking hot showers with her!”
Pinkie stared at her blankly “…………………I think I need an adult!”
“TRIXIE IS AN ADULT!!”
<0000000000000000000000>
Up on her balcony Twilight and her new student stood observing the scene below.
“Wow, you sure know some strange ponies!” Starlight commented off hoofedly.
Twilight let out a sigh of exasperation. “I REALLY need a nice long vacation.”
“I hear New Hoofshire is beautiful this time of year?” Starlight suggested.
“As long as it has enough ice cream to fill the emptiness I feel in my heart right now, I’m game!”
“Cool, can I come?” Starlight asked.
Twilight regarded her with raised eyebrows. “And what my dear student do you have to be miffed about?”
“You mean other than you and your friends driving me out of my home, having to live off rat’s and garbage cans for a year, and finding out the stallion of my dreams is married to his collection of Dora the Explorer Erotica?”
Twilight considered Trixie for a moment “Ok fine, let’s blow this joint!
“AWESOME! Let’s get this pity part started!”
And then Trixie met up with them and they all had a threesome while watching Dora the Explorer….
The End!
