Fallout Equestria: Freakedby FreakeasyChaptersPrologueChapter 2: Apfel to the KernChapter 1: Freak OutPrologueWar, terrible war. Widows, orphans, a motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our land. Brother turned on brother until nothing remained. And then came the peace, hard fought, sorely won. One species rose up from the ashes and a new era was born. But freedom has a cost. When the traitors were defeated, we swore as a nation we would never know this treason again. And so it was decreed that, each year, the various districts of Equestria would offer up, in tribute, one young colt and mare to fight to the death in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice. The lone victor, bathed in riches, would serve as a reminder of our generosity and our forgiveness. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safeguard our future. ... CRACK! FIZZLE! SPARK! UURRP! “’S the last goddamn time I ask ya ta shut yer fuckin’ trap, ya loud-mouthed talk-box!” I had thrown my last bottle of Applejack Daniels. The bottle still half-full of precious, god-given, sweet, life-giving, liver-drowning alcohol smashed into my vidscreen, shattering itself and the screen. Damn! I was gonna finish that... An exasperated whicker, or whatever fuckin’ horse noise that was, rang out by my right ear, provoking me to turn my dark violet eyes away from the tragedy before me. “Ya know, ya coulda just turned the damn thing off, Freaks.” I slammed down my right hoof on the table and knocked over the dominoes strewn across its flat top, “Ain’t no goddamned talk-box gonna tell Freakeasy what he should do with his life!” My endlessly tiresome compadre sighed, “Talk-box? We were just watchin’ a disc, that were some ol’ clip, not real! And now ya broke our vidscreen for the third time in two months!” My ears drooped as I suddenly remembered, “Oh yeah... That was a movie... My bad.” I shrugged it off as the shattered remains of my vidscreen sparked then caught on fire. I sniffed the air, “Ugh... Did you shit yer pants again, Junkheap?” Junkheap shouted, “Freaks! Your tail’s on fire!” I looked back at my fatass and indeed, my bi-colored red and green tail was on fire, the flames traveling up my appendage like a fuse to dynamite. “Oh yeah...” I stared back at my old lifelong friend, Junkheap for a good ten seconds. “OH SWEET FUCK IT BURNS!” I shouted at the top of my lungs once realization hit me and I rolled on the sterilized gray floor of my dormitory I shared with my compadre. Old Junky luckily had been drinking water because he was a PUSSY! who could never stand the sweet, sweet, flavor of cold whiskey guzzling down your throat. He bravely threw his whole tankard of water in my face, completely missing the fire... Truly a paragon of wits this one. Finally, as I squirmed and whined in pain on the floor, Junky stomped out the flames in my tail, smothering the fire while also breaking my tail in two places... My hero! “You dick...” I muttered before finally passing out from the pain. ... When I woke up, I was in the infirmary. I tried to pull myself up only to realize I had been strapped down. I had developed quite the reputation in the past. No matter how severe my injury, I always had to be back up on my hooves so my station manager wouldn’t pollute my delicate nostrils with her severe halitosis over why I wasn’t at work on time. This often ended in me being forcibly tranquilized then strapped to the hospital bed. This time they had skipped the whole me-waking-up-then-trying-to-escape part then went right on ahead into the strapping-me-down phase. I’d begun to think I was developing some sort of a fetish from all of this being bound-up against my will. If my wings weren’t pinned to this goddamned bed, they’d be sticking out right now. Something was sticking out though. I felt the cold air hitting my freak-stick as it had jutted out from my fat brown sheath. Huh... I was naked. Those pervy nurses always trying to get a peek at my pegi-pole. Huh... Now I feel like I’m forgetting something... Oh yeah, of course! *rummages through scattered junk until finding a video disk* My introduction! ... A shaggy, brown-furred pegasus tapped on the glass of a recording camera, “Uh, is this thing working?” An obscured voice muttered, “Yeah, yeah, that’s what the red light there’s for so... Whenever you’re ready.” The brown pegasus cleared his throat, “Uh, okay... Um, hello, if anypony out there can see this video then it probably means I’m dead... Though hopefully not because I am severely, severely allergic to dying.” He thought, “Right getting off topic... Um, somepony told me a while back I should make one of these in case I wanted other ponies to learn of what happened... I’ll spare the details, I’m not hear to tell you my life story, I’m just here to tell you, whomever views this video, who I am or was.” He took a breath before continuing while the grainy video flickered, “Uh, my name is Freakeasy... I was given that name because well...” The brown stallion shamelessly pulled down his pants to show his flank to the camera, “As you can see, my cutie mark is basically a black hole with angry eyes, not super creative but... There you go.” His wings flickered, “Um, and I’m a pegasus. My parents had fled from the Enclave in search of a peaceful life away from the strict, militaristic ways of our fellow pegasi.” He fidgeted, “They thought they could find a better life down here on the surface but... Things didn’t turn out so well.” The old damaged video flickered out at that point in the video. ... Huh... I coulda sworn there was more to that video... Oh well! *throws the video disk back among the pile of ambiguous scrap littering the floor* Back to your regularly scheduled me! The familiar hobbled clop of our stable’s head doctor snapped me out of my daydreams. My freak-stick had lost interest and retreated to my sheath by then. The glow of a unicorn’s horn flickered before it pulled back the curtain over my hospital bed and then I was staring into the discerning eyes of old Dr. Three-Hoof. That wasn’t his name, but it was one I made up for him due to the fact that he had only three legs. His left front leg had been lost long ago due to some accident with heavy machinery. In its place, he used a prosthetic hoof which always looked like some freaky robotic claw to me. I should have called him Dr. Claw. Old Three-Hoof harumphed his disapproval at seeing me once again on one of his beds, “Mr. Freakeasy... You, young colt, have a death wish, I swear to Celestia.” I cringed at the mention of that alicorn’s name. I wasn’t one to believe in some fairy tale, magic, horny horse princess who once ruled over this land. I was happy with my own imagined deity, thank you very much. The gray unicorn standing over me walked around me, “Well, don’t you have some witty retort for me, or did this last injury finally make you decide to act like an adult?” I smiled up at the perpetually frowning old ‘corn, “I’m sorry, sir. Freakeasy is not in at the moment, would you like to leave a message?” The unicorn doctor sputtered in disgust, “Ugh... And to think we could be giving this bed to somepony with more respect and dignity. Instead, I must soil it with a foul, disrespectful foal like you!” Indignantly, I pointed down to my crotch with my right hoof, “Excuse me! But does this look like the balls of a foal to you, sir?! No! I am an adult! And you are the pervert who’s fantasizing me as some little foal so you can fondle me to your heart’s content!” Three-Hoof’s temples pulsed in anger at me and I snickered that I could get under his skin so easily, “Overmare should have left you and your mother to the fuckin’ wastelands!” Now that was harsh, I thought to myself as the miffed unicorn walked away. There was a stallion who really needed to calm down with some nice mare riding him cowgirl style. Just the thought of a mare giving herself to me made my freak-stick rise out of my sheath again. I greeted it, “Oh, welcome back, old friend!” ... It was the very next morning that Three-Hoof decided to boot my ass out of the Stable’s infirmary. I put my pipbuck on; these things were so uncomfortable. They were like the stiffest bracelets you could ever get. They had no aesthetic appeal to them either, but then they weren’t made to look good, they were made to keep ponies like me alive. That dull green screen stared back at me as I fixed it on using one of my wings. Being one of only two pegasi living in all of Stable 89, I didn’t have horny horse magic to help me put on the device. I was, however, much more fortunate than the earth ponies, like my friend Junkheap, who had to do everything with their mouths. I could at least use my feathers as digits to manipulate objects. So now, with my ugly bracelet locked to my right hoof, my Stable 89 jumpsuit zipped up and my wings folded neatly, I made my way down to the lower levels where I worked. Now, down here was where shit got serious. Here was where we had the doors that went WHOOSH when they opened! WHOOSH! I loved that sound; hearing it made me feel like I was actually going to do something important. No sooner did I get to work than were my delicate nostrils assaulted by the shit-smelling breath of my station manager, Crusty Biscuit. I couldn’t have made that up if I tried. Her cutie mark was indeed a moldy, crusty old biscuit... Don’t look at me like that! I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who have seen their boss’s naked flanks! The dark blue mare may have had bad breath, but she was something else when you got her on a good day, if you know what I mean. Sure, I had to hold my breath the whole time, but that tight older mare pussy was totally worth it! “Freakeasy! You’re late!” Crusty yelled in my face. I quickly saluted my superior with my right wing, “Yes, ma’am! I apologize! I had an accident that left me bedridden for approximately half a day and one night!” I showed her my tail which was still singed though the hairs had begun to fall off. Crusty promptly shoved me, “Get your tail outta my face, Freak and get to work! You’re two minutes late! I’ve already docked your daily credits, pray I don’t take anymore.” I lowered my head in shame, “Yes ma’am!” Then I quickly trotted away to get out of her sight. Great in the sack she was, a total bitch any other day. Junkheap was already there, the poor foal turning a wrench to tighten a few loose bolts on one of the turbines which powered the whole stable. Thank god I didn’t have to use my mouth to hold a wrench, potentially sticking my face inside dangerous machinery. Once there, I began to contribute my typical portion of the work, which typically amounted to me telling Junky what to do while trying to do as little actual work myself. Junky and me had been best buds forever and I knew he would always stick up for me. And sure, if a supervisor came by, I was quick to pick up a wrench, hammer, or whatever. I had to keep up appearances after all. So I wasn’t totally lazy. Work went by fast, as it usually did and soon, Junky and me had checked out to collect our daily credit. ... After work, Junky and I would typically go to the Dark Room. It was a special place for hard workers like us to unwind with our fellow ponies, enjoy a good beer, even talk some lovely mare into bed for a night. Or stallion; I didn’t swing that way, but Junky sure did. I remembered nights being kept up in our dorm when he and some other stallion would get into it, and they got hot and heavy a lot of the time. I swear I didn’t swing that way, but sometimes hearing them did make me have to hoof myself in quiet shame. Anyway, Junky and me got to the Dark Room just when the place was just starting to get packed with equines. I went right up to the bar where I ordered a bottle of that fresh Applejack Daniels. I had an obsession with that brand, particularly with the pretty mare who had been the namesake for this precious nectar. I didn’t believe in the alicorns, but I did find some credence in these so-called Elements of Harmony. They sounded like they could have been a nice bunch from all I heard about them, but of them, Applejack was the one I found cutest. Junkheap, like always, just got himself a water. He began to drink before sputtering, “Oh shit, Freaky...” I looked up already intoxicated, “What’s up?” The dark green earth pony pointed behind me, “Isn’t that your mom over there?” Oh Hell... Hesitantly, I looked where he pointed and there she was, my mother, the only other pegasus resident of Stable 89 and... the stable bike. Losing my dad then having me did no wonders for my mother’s psyche. Though she had been saved from the wasteland, what moral part of her she’d had before had shattered. She was distressed to the point where she could barely take care of me. And now here she was, sprawled over a bar table while liquor was poured down her throat and while a yellow unicorn, one of the Stable Security, pulled off her undergarments with his magic. His standard issue pistol was holstered to his belt. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I watched that bastard undressing my mother, then shoving his muzzle between her legs to make her moan like... Like the whore she’d become. I could hear Junkheap trying to reel me back, “Freaky, you know there’s no way of helping her... And she’s enjoying herself anyway.” I could hear the cringe in his face as he quickly regretted those last words. Of course, I would never be upset with him telling me the truth. It was another thing entirely to see a security officer, somepony who was sworn to protect and serve, take advantage of my mother in her weakened mind state. That bastard had unbuckled his belt, letting his pants drop as he mounted my mother then effortlessly slid into her. “Arr... This bitch is like shoving a carrot down an empty hallway.” Before Junkheap could stop me, my wings flared as I stomped forward to confront the unicorn who was using my mother. “Goldenrod!” I shouted loudly to get his attention. The unicorn heard me, but did not slow down in humping my mother while she whinnied beneath him. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge me, he just kept going. “Goldenrod, you asshole! Get off of my mother now before I come over there and rip your fucking jaw out.” The unicorn looked aside to me, then withdrew his pistol using his magic, “Your mother is busy right now, Horse Fly. Now why don’t you back off and let a stallion bust a nut, huh?” I gritted my teeth in anger, a security pistol shoved in my face by this worthless asshole who didn’t even deserve his badge. I could feel angry tears pouring from my eyes as the bastard pressed himself tight against my mother, his tail twitching as he unloaded in my mother, here surrounded by onlookers who jeered at her, who mocked her loose morals. Goldenrod lowered himself off of my mother while she panted, while her legs were held open with his magic as one of his cronies stepped up to the plate. I felt the heavy hoof of my friend on my shoulder, “Freak, come on... You can’t help her.” I hated it when he was right. We left the Dark Room while Goldenrod and his two fellow officers continued to use my mother while I could just stand there like a fucking foal. ... We made it back to our dorm where I flopped down on my bed in a vain attempt to wipe this afternoon’s events from my mind. My mother was barely there for me; she couldn’t be with how damaged her mind was, but a colt still loved his mother. It always hurt me to see her like that, to see her being used, to hear everything that was said about her, then me by association. The tears I’d already shed for her were drying as streamed down my face. I had nearly calmed down when somepony climbed into bed then put his front hooves around me. Damn Junky... What tears I’d been fighting were let go while my friend held me against him. As I poured my soul into his warm chest, which I just realized had been stripped of his jumpsuit, I could feel the earth pony kissing me upon my brow, just below my red and green mane, “Shh... Freaky...” I could hear him, I could tell he had been crying to. Seeing me this way did that to him, I guessed. I calmed down some as my friend continued kissing me along my brown muzzle. This... felt weird. I hadn’t ever been kissed by another stallion, but I figured this was just his way of telling me to calm down. Those kisses came awfully close to my lips, then I had to pull back. “Junky... What are you doing?” I looked up and I saw his emerald green eyes staring back at me, “I’m sorry.” He looked so ashamed right now, like he was afraid he’d possibly damaged our friendship. “Junky... You know I’m not like that.” He sniffed, “Yeah...” “So why...” I was surprised more than anything. I knew my friend was gay. He came out to me years ago and we’d always been friends. I wouldn’t let my friend’s preferences ever get in the way; he was the only real friend I had in this whole damned place. If he could see past me being a pegasus, part of a race hated for abandoning the surface world to preserve themselves, then of course I was always there for him. I loved him as a friend, I never suspected he’d love me as more than that. He sniffed, “I’ll... I’ll just go back to my own bed... I’m sorry.” Something inside me cussed at me, stop him you asshole! He just bared his soul for you! Do something! I pulled myself up, “Wait!” Junky stopped, “What?” He looked at me. I looked at him. Dear God, this was already getting awkward! I had to do something, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I caught my friend’s face between my two front hooves, my wings folded over him to seemingly shield him from the outside world, then my lips connected with his. Fucking Christ, his eyes bugged out like crazy when it happened. Was it that bad? Before I could chicken out, I pushed forward more, rubbed my lips against his. I always thought kissing another stallion would feel like kissing the bottom of somepony’s work boots. I don’t know why I thought that... This just felt natural. His eyes closed as he let himself give in for me, then I felt his lips open, felt his tongue flicker against my lips. I’d kissed enough mares, even smelly old Crusty, to know how this worked. He opened and I let him have my tongue to play with, to taste as we transcended our friendship. I never thought I could feel this with another pony; none of the mares I’d ever slept with made me feel this. The next thing I remembered, I was pushing back the cover on my bed, so I could make room for my friend. He climbed back in with me, then neither of us had anymore to say, not for the rest of that night. Chapter 2: Apfel to the KernKnock, knock, knock! SLAM! The door fell over after I had knocked on it. “Huh...” We had walked a considerable way away from Stable 89. We had no idea where the hell we were but we found some kind of old shack. This would make our shelter for tonight. I snuffled as I trotted in, “Ugh... Yeah something definitely died in here.” Junkheap walked by me. He pushed open another door, “I think I found a kitchen.” I followed him inside, “Great! Is there anything salvageable, anything for us to eat?” He was rummaging through dusty drawers, opening cupboards. There was an old refrigerator. He tugged it open. The smell hit our nostrils like a shotgun blast to the face. I covered my delicate nostrils with one of my wings, “Oh, God-fucking-damn!” Good news was, we found the dead thing. Bad news was, it was the spoiled rotten remains of some long killed animal. Whoever lived here had to get out in a hurry, in order for them to have left something like this! Junky slammed the fridge door shut, “Oh Celestia and Luna... What the hell?” I always cringed at the mention of the alicorns, but Junky was the exception, “Come on, I saw stairs. We should check up there. Maybe there’s a bed.” I led the way. These stairs scared me more than the whole outside world. The things creaked underhoof like they would crack under me then I’d fall. Still we made it to the top and found ourselves in a narrow little hallway with some doors. I wavered a bit before swallowing my pride, “Come on.” We both walked down the hall, opening doors to peek behind them. We found a bathroom. “Shit!” I cussed when I looked in and saw another dead thing. It was an earth pony. I didn’t know how long he’d been dead. Flesh still hung from his bones. He’d huddled up in his bathtub. His skull had clearly been decimated by a shotgun fired at point blank. Then I saw the barrel of such a weapon laying next to him. Junkheap nearly gagged after seeing it, “Oh... The poor son of a bitch ate his gun didn’t he?” I sighed, “Looks like it.” There was nothing we could do about that. Still, I had to check him. The shotgun was rusted to shit, it wouldn’t work. I found a scrap of paper. I picked it with a wing then read the writing scribbled on it. A father should never have ta bury his kin. It should be the other way around. Blasted Raiders took everythin’. They won’t take me... Whosoever finds me, see to it I get a good burial. Celestia forgive me, Apfel Kern These wastelanders really put a lot of stock in those alicorns didn’t they? “Apfel Kern... Nice to meet ya.” I offered a smile to the deceased pony. Junky read the same note after I’d set it down to go check the last unopened door. The next room I found had to have been in his bedroom. There was an old bed, tattered but cozy-looking nonetheless. It would have to serve us, only for the night. I set down my saddlebags as Junk came into the room. “According to this note, we’ve got Raiders in the area?” I was rummaging through my bag, found some salted crackers, some margarine... What was I, a foal getting ready for school? I nodded, “Yeah, that’s a distinct possibility.” Rummaging further I found dried fish jerky... Oh, Mom thought of me. I pulled out the plastic package then tore it open. I pulled out a strip of it and happily nibbled a piece. “Oh yeah... That’s like sex in the mouth.” Junk put down his saddlebag, “So we’re not worried or anything?” He looked through his bags, “They didn’t exactly pack us with anything to defend ourselves with.” I shrugged, “I’m sure an old guy like this probably has a secret ammo bunker hidden around here somewhere, but I’m not worried.” I tapped the gaudy PipBuck wrapped around my hoof, “This thing’s supposed ta light up or somethin’, right? I didn’t exactly pay attention in class...” Junky rolled his eyes, “’Cause you were always talkin’ to Rosalyn even then.” I blinked, “Oh... She was in our class? Can’t believe I forgot that...” My mate shook his head, “I believe it... Come here and I guess I’ll show ya.” So Junky spent that next hour refreshing me on how a PipBuck was supposed to work. I still couldn’t believe I forgot we knew Rosie even back then. Seriously, the Overmare’s daughter and I never realized it until the last moment. Huh... Wait, Junky’s telling me something... Right, PipBucks. ... Night rolled by quick, a little too quick. Things out here were definitely different than living in the Stable. For one, the air wasn’t as clean. Everywhere we looked, the wind blew around us, dust particles irritating our coats where it could get in under our jumpsuits. If I could say one nice thing about the wasteland... It was nice looking up at something that wasn’t gray! The sky above us stretched far and wide, in various colors of blue, dark blue, sometimes purple, amber, and there were clouds. I remembered reading old books Mom had taken with her from the Enclave. According to these books, pegasi like me could walk on clouds, and we once had some grasp at controlling the weather. As a foal I would ask my mom if these were all true, but half the time she was doped out on meds so she didn’t snap. It also left her highly unresponsive so I’d eventually given up asking. Nopony else cared enough to confirm my foalhood fantasies. I thought back on how dull, boring and gray everything was in the Stable. God, I hated the color gray. It was like some board of execs somewhere all got together at a meeting about what colors to make, then one guy in the back was like “I got an idea! How about we make up a color that’s so dull and plain, it just reminds you what a piece of shit your life was, is and will be until the day you die!” Then the boss-pony would be like, “Somepony give that colt a raise! He’s a fucking genius!” But I digress! Here I was lying on a bed next to my only trusted friend, Junky and I couldn’t sleep a wink. The snoring behind me told me he wasn’t having such an emotional turmoil about this swift change of dynamics in our lives. God, I wish I could be simpler, more like him... All of a sudden, the gaudy bracelet on my right hoof lit up. I looked at the little green screen, “Activity?” Hmm, I fidgeted with the thing, clicking buttons and switches while trying to remember everything Junk had just taught me. Damn, I hated having the attention span of a canary. Somehow, after minutes of messing with it, I activated the E.F.S. I blinked as a bunch of lights blinked on within my field of vision. “Huh... So that’s that... Wow I really missed out on a lot.” I continued tapping on the thing, realizing how little I had actually used this for all the years I’ve worn it. All this time I just thought of it as some ugly bracelet. Canary brain here... Almost too excited that I finally got this thing to work, I frantically shook Junkheap. “Junky! Junky, wake up!” He snuffled awake, “What? What is it? Are we under attack or somethin’?” I shook my head while I searched through the various menus like a foal who’d just got his first toy. I showed it to my friend, “Look! I got it working!” He sighed, looking at me with that same tired expression I’d come to know, “Ya woke me up for that?” I smiled so cutely, or I thought I did, “I’m just so excited!” Junky sighed, “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool... I’ve been using mine forever. I use it when we work, I used it when Goldenrod and his thugs went after you. It’s not just some little toy, Freaky. These PipBucks are lifesavers for us.” I stopped playing with it when he said that, “Well duh! I’d only had that shit hammered into my head nonstop!” Junkheap just gave me that exasperated sigh, topped with a weary smile, “Do you need another refresher, so you don’t forget again, Bird Brain?” I nodded eagerly, “I promise, I’ll really listen this time!” The dark green earth pony hooked a hoof over me, “Then get that cotton outta yer ears an’ listen good!” ... Morning came and I was a little bit smarter, so hooray, there was one big accomplishment! Junky and me had an early breakfast. We ate from our rations, some preserved vegetables, fruits and vital stuff like that. No meat, though. Ponies, even in times like these, still clung to their herbivore pasts. Horseshit! From what I read about my race, the pegasi, we’d learned to expand our diets to meat to keep ourselves strong, fit and healthy. The decayed meat in the fridge wouldn’t work, I would rather eat something that would not end in me huddled in a corner hating myself. Meanwhile, the monitor on my PipBuck scanned everything for me. Why hadn’t I been using this more? Am I really that dense? Junk still laughed from how blown away I was at tech he’d been using as naturally as if it were a part of him. He chuckled, “I swear, you are adorable when you’re finally doing something right.” I scanned the meat, my PipBuck quickly informed me of what dangerous germs may be contaminating it. So definitely no eating whatever the fuck this was. It was like I had new eyes, Sweet Celestia! Did I just say that? Fuck it! I scanned Junkheap just for fun and it told me everything it could about him: Earth Pony, 22 years old, Level 10 Observer. I had to ask, “What’s this thing here about levels, Junky?” Junk explained, “It basically means how much better you’re getting; it should also tell you what kinda perks you should be getting based on the things you’ve been doing.” He held up his PipBuck, “Here, I’ll do you.” So he scanned me, then showed me the readings, “There you see?” There I was: Pegasus, 20 years old, Level 2 Stable Renegade. “Why’s mine so far behind?” Junky shrugged, “I da know, what were ya up to all that time you weren’t chasing mares.” I cringed from that one, “Ouch, okay, I get your point.” Junk nudged me before I had a chance to feel too bad about myself, “Hey, you’ve done somethings right. Otherwise you wouldn’t even be at Level 2. Defending me, letting me love you, those were things that took guts and you don’t need some flashing lights to tell you that stuff.” I laughed a little under breath, “Damn, when did you get so smart?” Junk chuckled, “I’m not smart, just super observant.” We finished eating after that then we packed our saddlebags, “Well, we oughta hit the road now, see what we can find.” Junky was tightening the strap on his saddlebags, “Right, let’s get goin’!” ... An hour or so of daylight passed as we went on our way. I was scanning everything as we went, my natural pegasus curiosity driving me to learn what everything was. I could hear Junkheap snickering as he walked with me. “Ooh, ooh, I found something alive!” I showed him. He looked at my PipBuck, “Some minor lifeform, possibly some kind of insect.” And at about that moment, the ground cracked beneath us, throwing us off our hooves as we’d unwittingly sprung a trap of some sort. First came the harsh hiss of some large creature, followed by the spittle of said creature splattering the back of our necks before we rolled on our backs in near unison. Our eyes bugged out at the giant scorpion standing right before us. “Minor lifeform, some kind o’ insect!” I remarked before the large arachnid lashed out with its stinger. It grazed my tail, but didn’t pierce my appendage. It instead had jammed its stinger in the ground mere inches away from my rear. By instinct, I bucked, kicking the thing before righting myself while Junk did the same, “Come on!” I shouted to get him moving. Junk snapped out of whatever stupor he had been in then rolled onto his hooves. We both got up to run from our animal attacker, not having any viable weapons strong enough to pierce its exoskeleton. Right then, several more scorpions shot out of the ground in a great, disorienting cloud of dust. When the dust cleared, we found ourselves surrounded by the things. Damn! I wished I could fly with these otherwise useless wings. I’d trained them to handle any other task for me, but never had the need to learn their most basic use since I’d lived my whole life in an underground colony. Right now, my wings just flapped at my sides like a lazy cape. Junk and me stood flank-to-flank staring at opposite sides. I felt like this would’ve been the end, we had never ever been trained in combat, or even basic self defense. Correction, I hadn’t been trained. Junkheap must’ve saw the distress in my eyes. “Don’t worry, Freaky! I’ll get us out of this!” He reared up on his hindlegs then bucked the first scorpion that got close. Its carapace cracked and the thing shrieked in pain, but it was otherwise unharmed. So not even my friend could crack the creature’s armor. Just then, when it seemed everything was coming to a swift unhappy end for us, we heard “GET DOWN!” Instinctively, both of us did. Just then, the high pitched whine of some metal thing rotating rang out as scorpion hide splattered around us, accompanied by the loud shrieks of the dying creatures. As the roar died down, so did the scorpions, and then we just heard the wind blowing through our manes. The sound of dirt shifting under boots soon filled our ears. “Woo-wee! Don’t you two look like a couple o’ shaved tail louies!” HACK! PATOOIE! Junky and me both slowly looked up after hearing what sounded like a friendly voice. We both looked over the carnage that was once giant, pony-eating scorpions and saw an old orange-coated pony in a dusty jumpsuit. He had on an old stetson riddled with bullet holes. His eyes were bright green and looked two ways at once, there was a word for that... He chuckled in a creaky old grandpa type of voice, “Shoot! Err’body knows ya don’t go gallervantin’ ‘roun’ these ‘ere parts! Hills ‘re full o’ dem redscorpeens.” He somehow managed to get both eyes focused on us. He noticed our jumpsuits, “What’re you two anyway? A couple o’ stal pals?” He chuckled, “Wit’ a getup lahk that, I’d reckon!” He walked right by us, scooping scorpion entrails then picking different bits out to stuff in his dusty saddlebags. He licked his lips, “Yuh-huh... That’s a beaut.” He held up an oval-shaped object. Junky asked, “And what it is that, sir?” The old pony looked at my friend like the answer should have been obvious to him, “Why iss a scorpeen egg! Dese ‘re mighty good eatin’ an’ they fetch a purty penny wid da merchants!” He looked at the both of us, “Y’all two mean ta say ya ain’t never seen redscorpeens afore?” I shrugged, “I don’t know should we? You seemed like you had this handled anyway.” He nodded with a big affirmative, “Hmmph! Course! Ah bin livin’ out ‘ere most o’ mah days. ‘tain’t easy, but ah make do wid ol’ Bessie ‘ere!” He lugged a heavy minigun with him which looked like it would be too heavy for an old stallion like him. He pointed on his back, “An’ if Bessie ain’t partyin’, she’s got da ress o’ her family back ‘ere to keep me comp’ny.” Slung over his back was a trove of weapons which all looked to be in good working condition, like this old stallion just spent hours in a shack just polishing his guns. He also jiggled the heavy brown bag of valuables dangling from his waist, “An’ if ah lose any o’ dem, ah can jess buy moar!” Both me and Junky just kept looking at each other as the old stallion bragged on about how well equipped he was for this life. With his scorpion bits collected, he started back in the same direction he came from. “Welp, gotta make it back ta town afore dese spoil!” he stopped to look back at us, “Y’all two ‘re welcome to follow me. Jess no luvin’s ‘round me, ah’m too old ta get it up an’ y’all two would just be torturin’ this old fool.” He chuckled. Junky looked over at me, “Well, we’ve found somepony to help us, I think we should follow.” I agreed, “Yeah, we’ll follow and he’ll shoot whatever tries to kill us! It’s the perfect plan!” My wings shot up with how excited I was getting. All of a sudden, there was a great rumble as a scorpion tail shot out of the ground just inches in front the old pony. He looked up at the stinger as it glinted in the desert sun, “Well shit...” The scorpion tail swung down in a flash, piercing the older pony’s skull, nearly tearing his scalp off while his hat blew away in the wind until it came to rest right by my front right hoof. The stallion only had a second to scream before the tail swung back up, tearing the old pony’s head out along with his whole spinal column. The scorpion exploded out of the ground then it threw the old pony’s corpse as it saw two stronger, healthier ponies to feast on. Junk backed up while his pupils shrank, “What the fuck?” I could only stare while the old pony’s hat whipped against my hoof. Without thinking, I picked up the holey stetson then I fixed it upon my head. I turned on my E.F.S., it must have some feature that tells how to kill a giant scorpion. While I was fidgeting, my compadre rushed forward, “Junky wait!” He didn’t wait, the big lumbering earth pony charged ahead. The radscorpion struck out with its pincers. Apparently, that’s what Junky needed. He used his front hooves, launched himself from the angry arachnid’s bulbous claw. With his teeth, he latched on to the scorpion’s tail. That provided a distraction while the arachnid fought to shake my friend of its body. I took it. Spreading my wings, I dashed forward, fast as I could, collecting the old pony’s weapons cache before getting myself out of range out of the scorpion’s attacks. “I got the weapons!” Junky heard me, but couldn’t let go. “Take one of those guns and shoot the damn thing now!” Of course, with his mouth full, all that came out was nonsense. Thinking fast, I picked up the old pony’s double-barreled shotgun; definitely in better condition than the one we found earlier. Wielding the heavy thing using my right wing, I aimed it at the scorpion just as it was able to throw my friend aside. He hit the desert ground with a heavy thud. “Junky!” I shouted before fixing my grip with my flight feathers. I felt my wingtip wrap around the trigger. I squeezed the trigger, the shotgun went off and I hit the scorpion’s tail. The creature shrieked in pain as its stinger had been blown off. Good shot, but the damn thing was still alive. I went back into the pony’s sack. Whoa! What was an old pony like him doing with something like this? I stuck my face in then pulled out a buckball grenade. It was a grenade made out of a hollowed-out buckball. I didn’t think what I had to do next, I just did it. Yanking the pin, I tossed the grenade in the air, then swiftly bucked it with my back hooves. It went sailing. Thankfully, the scorpion had chosen that exact moment to roar at me. The grenade went into its mouth, it swallowed. Next thing I knew, the scorpion exploded in a gory shower of slimy bug guts. Both me and Junky were splattered in scorpion entrails. With danger averted, and a whole sack of weapons acquired, I ran over to my friend who was just pulling himself up. He wiped bug goo off of his face, “That was fucked up, but thank Celestia, ya did somethin’ productive for a change, Freaky!” I blushed from my friend’s praise, “Aw... I was just thinking on the fly, anypony coulda done what I did.” He rolled onto his hooves but didn’t stand quite yet, “Maybe they could have, but they didn’t, you did and that’s somethin’ to be proud of!” I helped my friend up, then cringed as I saw the scrapes along his right side, “Yeesh, that scorpion put a dent in ya.” He touched his wound and had to bite back on the pain, “Aah! Yeah, that’s gonna sting.” I led him away, as I noticed he was also limping, again on the side that had hit the ground, “Damn... He hurt you bad.” He winced, “Yeah...” He tried to keep pressure off of his injured hoof. I eventually had to lean against him, “Come on... We gotta sit you down somewhere so I can bandage you up.” He groaned, “Thanks, Freaky.” ... It had taken me half an hour and nearly half of the medical supplies in Junky’s saddlebag to sterilize then bandage his scrapes. I wasn’t trained enough to deal with an injured hoof, though. The most I could do was tie it up in a splint. Thankfully, there was plenty of chitin laying about, courtesy of all the dead scorpions in the area. I figured the stuff was hard and rigid enough to hold his injury, along with the proper bandaging of course. After that, we checked again our new cache we’d been rewarded for avenging that old pony’s death. I nodded as a weak smile crossed my face, “Yeah... Things are sure to get easier now...” Eventually, we both decided it was time to move on. I elected to carry our new weapons cache so Junky wouldn’t have needless extra weight aggravating his hoof. He still had to lean on me so he didn’t fall. We took the old pony’s bag of... bottlecaps? Whatever... Only thing we couldn’t take was his minigun. That had been completely wrecked when the scorpion threw his corpse. We still scavenged some parts in case we would need them later. When it was time to go, I faltered. I still had one more thing I needed to do. I scanned the old pony’s body with my Pipbuck. In an instant, I had his information: Kuchen Torte, Earth Pony, 69 years old, Level 30, Current Status: Deceased, Descendant of the Pie family. With that done, I tugged on the old pony’s stetson which now lay on my head, “Come on, Junky, let’s go...” Chapter 1: Freak OutOne year later... An exclamation of pure male ecstasy rang out within the small, sterile dormitory we called home. My ass hurts, not by much, I’d had a whole year’s worth of exploring my sexuality to get used to that feeling of a great equine cock stuffed to the root up my anus. A year ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of me, Freakeasy ever laying with another male and now I’ve given myself to Junkheap, my coltfriend. Seriously, this guy! Big, tall, muscle-y, green earth pony and I loved him. Even now, I could feel the big oaf kissing me all over my neck, licking me along the ridges of my mane. And today was such a special day for me too. Today I’d just turned 20. Junky and me had spent the whole day together celebrating and drinking, the guy never drinks, today he did. Now here we were laying in each others’ hooves, My Junky literally fucking the shit out of me. Just kidding! I always made sure I was clean before letting my colfriend mount me. And never once did I ever even look at any mares... I’m such a horrible liar. ... Approximately three days ago, security footage caught a certain pegasus in a storage closet getting his dick waxed by a lovely mare he’d spent more than one night with. The brown pegasus humped hard and free into the lovely rose-furred mare beneath him. He humped her so hard he was making her scream her lungs out, so it was a good thing she happened to be a unicorn. She used her magic to soundproof the little closet but didn’t know about the camera watching their illicit affair. The pegasus’ wings shot up as he moaned and he climaxed inside this lovely mare. ... Okay... So I’m not just a horrible liar, I’m also a terrible fucking pony. I mean seriously, what the fuck? Junkheap bared himself for me; he risked our friendship and we became closer because of it. Yet I couldn’t stop being me; the horny little asshole who still wanted to drink himself silly then fuck mares. And I knew... I knew Junky suspected. He’s known me for so long, he knows me. That just made it worse. Was I turning into Mom? My mother still carried on in the same way she’d been ever since her mind broke after reapers caught her and my dad. They... They raped her, even while she was pregnant with me. They made her watch while they chopped up Dad like a fucking animal. They broke her. Now she spent her days letting males use her all they wanted. She didn’t say no to much of the humiliation they piled on her. She often had more than one stallion on her at once. It made me sick to think of her like that. Now I’m probably no better. I have most of marbles, I’m of sane mind, yet I still have it in me to cheat on my coltfriend, to go behind his back and hump random mares. My self-loathing ended the moment I felt my love climax, his soothing torrent rushing through my insides and I moaned for him, whispering how much I loved him. Of course I was telling the truth, but how could I if I couldn’t stay faithful? ... The next day, we’d showered then went to work. In the past, I’ll admit, I’d been pretty lazy. Nowadays, I actually put in the effort. I realized it wasn’t fair of me to have Junky do all the work. So now I did my own share of the work and what do you know? It netted me bigger pay than usual. So hard work did have its virtues. In fact, today had been going so well, something had to come along to ruin it... And it did. Junky and I had gone to the Dark Room, like we always did, everyday like clockwork. “Shots!” I shouted while the bartender poured whiskey shots for me and Junkheap. I held my glass up with my right wing, “Junky!” He held his up awkwardly on one hoof, “Freaky!” “Forever!” We both shouted before drinking our whiskey. I nearly coughed up my drink when I spotted that unicorn mare, the one I’d seen behind Junky’s back. She spotted me, clearly sitting with my coltfriend and still made her way right to me. I looked away, trying to ignore her, pouring myself another shot. Then, I felt her magic tug on me until our lips met and my coltfriend saw us. I pulled away from her, “Junky...” He looked at us. He didn’t seem upset, not outwardly. He smiled, “Who’s your friend here, Freaky?” I gulped before introducing her, “Oh, oh, this is Rosalyn.” The rosen mare looked at my coltfriend, “Hey...” She was smiling too, clearly inebriated right now. She jumped into Junky’s front hooves, “Ooh! I’ve got an idea, lets all three of us go... Then you both get to fuck me, huh?” Junkheap couldn’t hide his disappointment as this female blatantly hit on him, “That... That’s not going to happen.” Rosalyn giggled, “And why not? What are ya a colt cuddler or somethin’?” She was definitely drunk. Junky never stopped glaring at me while she ground against him until she eventually got bored then went to find some easier male, “Aw... You guys are no fun!” God I felt like such a piece of shit right now. ... We went home that night. “After all I go through for you... You still do this shit to me! Freak, I thought you loved me!” My heart pounded as my love berated me and my stupid poor-decision-making dumb-head. “I do love you...” I was telling the truth, “You are the only friend I’ve ever had in here. You remember?” Junkheap sat down on our bed, “Yes I remember... Goldenrod and his friends, they tried to hurt you, because you were a pegasus, and I just couldn’t let them. From then on, I always felt like I needed to be there for you, to protect you. I didn’t care about your race, I still don’t. I fell in love with you, the Freaky who always stayed positive now matter how much life seemed to shit on him.” Damn me and my freak-stick... “I’ll make it up to you! Anything, tell me, just anything! I’ve been beating myself up over the whole thing!” Junky shook his head, “And I waited for you to come out and say it. I thought we’d built that much trust that you could at least tell me when you fucked up.” I put my hooves on his chest, “Junky, I couldn’t... I was already afraid of what you would think if I just told you about it.” He just shook his head at me, “It still would have been better to hear it from you then than you being cornered where you had no choice but to tell me.” I sobbed, “I’m sorry.” I don’t know how many times I said it, I just kept saying it, my face buried in his coat. We went to bed, but there was no lovemaking to be had. ... The next day and things just kept getting better... Junky and me went straight to work, like always, but he still wasn’t talking to me. He wanted me to stew in the shithole I’d dug myself into and I deserved every bit of it. Junky had to go take a leak, that or he just wanted to get away from me. Either way, I heard him walk away while I continued working on a broken turbine. My ears swiveled from the sound of hooves walking across the floor towards me. The next thing I knew... THWACK! I was laying on the ground holding my head where I’d been struck. I looked up in utter pain as whomever it was dragged me to the turbine. They opened it... They were going to shove me in then turn on the machine. As soon as I realized it, I fought against them, but their unicorn magic held me down with very little effort, fucking horny horses! “Goldenrod!” I heard Junky shouting then one of the stable security ponies who’d been holding me was knocked off of me. I saw in sickening slow-motion as the red stallion went face first into the machine. Its gears cut off his screams as his face, then his whole head were ground up into chunks of bone and meat. The other one backed off while my coltfriend stood up against Goldenrod. The yellow unicorn glared at my love, “Look at you... Filthy colt-cuddler turning your back on the colony for some fucking horse fly.” Junkheap tried to talk some sense into him, “Freakeasy’s not a horse fly, he’s a pony just like you and me.” Goldenrod had a crazed look, the kind that said he’d made up his mind about us and nothing would sway him, “He’s not like us... He’s a fucking pegasus! The traitors who abandoned us all to the wastelands to save themselves! And you all expected me to just accept him! My job means I’m supposed to deal with all traitors, Colt Cuddler!” Junk would have said something but unfortunately he felt Goldenrod’s unicorn magic wrap around his neck, slowly constricting, robbing the earth pony of his air supply. And here I lay, watching the love of my life about to be snuffed out for the simple crime of coming to my defense. It was times like this I wished I had unicorn magic. Instead, I saw the next best thing. The headless unicorn corpse laying right next to me. He still had his pistol on him. I had never fired a weapon, never been trained to even handle these specialized guns we used, but today I was getting a crash course! In a flash, I yanked the pistol from his holster. I pointed the weapon, awkwardly holding it in my mouth, before remembering I had wings. I spat the weapon out into my right wing. I had a firm grip on the thing now using my flight feathers. As I could hear my love’s voice begin to croak, I pointed the thing at Goldenrod, then squeezed the trigger with my wing tip. BANG! It went off. Goldenrod had only a split second to react before the single shell I’d fired gored out his right eyeball, then blew out the back of his head. My lifelong tormentor spasmed on his legs for a second before dropping to the floor. It happened. I’d just killed another pony. I twitched in shock, letting the pistol drop out of my wing to clatter harmlessly on the floor. My violet eyes never felt smaller than they did now. Junkheap hacked through a bruised neck as he crawled across to hold me in his hooves. The third surviving guard panicked then ran to get help while Junky and me rocked together as we each cried into the others’ shoulders. But wait... The best part was yet to come... ... “Order!” the harsh but reasonable voice of our great Overmare rang out over a crowd of angry, hateful ponies. Here we stood, locked in chains, surrounded by stable security, some of whom had been close friends with Goldenrod. Both Junky and me surrendered without a fight... It didn’t stop them from beating us into submission. We both stood here bruised, covered in scrapes, with our hooves chains, our pipbucks confiscated, my wings bound to my back. Don’t know what they were so worried about, I never even learned to fly. Our Overmare, a benevolent old unicorn mare with fair white fur and a rosy pink mane, speckled with the grays of her old age, looked down upon me and Junkheap. She cringed at how beat up we looked, “Why are these prisoners bruised and beaten, Security?” The gray unicorn on our left lied to the Overmare’s face, “They resisted arrest, tried to fight us, we did what we had to do, Overmare, Madam.” She saw straight through him, “These two?” She pointed at me, “This one may be an unruly brat, but I’ve never known him to be a troublemaker.” Then she pointed to Junky, “And this one here has been a model citizen his whole life, so don’t dare lie to me about them resisting arrest, do you understand, Corporal?” The security officer backed off, soundly told off by the Overmare, “Yes, Madam.” The Overmare straightened up, “However, resisting arrest or not... You two stand before me having committed that most heinous crime of murdering your fellow stablemates, not only that but two officers of the law! How do you plead?” Junk could barely speak. He wore a neck-brace following his attack by Goldenrod who now lay somewhere stinking up an examination table. I spoke for the both of us, “We plead guilty on the grounds of self defense, Madam.” I kept my violet eyes trained on her admittedly beautiful pink eyes. Looking at her, she reminded me of... She couldn’t be. I straightened myself up as best as I could under her stern gaze, “These two officers, plus a third, attacked us... Goldenrod has always antagonized us since we were foals, because I was a pegasus, because Junkheap liked other stallions, he was always riding us and yesterday... Yesterday I guess he got tired of us.” She never took her eyes off me as I spoke, I doubt she even blinked once. She closed them only when I was done talking, then called out, “Security Officer Greenwich!” The officer in question, a teal unicorn, one of the bastards who’d tried to kill me. The Overmare looked him in the eye, “You told your superiors that these ponies had attacked you, Goldenrod and Rojo, unprovoked. Now they tell me that it was you who had done the attacking.” Greenwich sputtered, “A bold-faced lie! Surely you won’t believe the lies of two murderers, especially a dirty horse fly!” He bit his lip after letting that racial slur slip out. She nodded, “That’s all I needed to know. Officers, arrest Greenwich here for abusing the power of his badge.” The teal unicorn panicked, “No! I’m not the crook here! It’s them!” He was swiftly locked in chains, then muzzled by his fellow officers who then dragged him away as he sniveled in shame. After he was gone from her sight, the Overmare turned her sights on us, “In the light of this new development... Your punishments shall be altered. You know, as well as all ponies of our stable, that the punishment for murder is immediate death.” Her features softened somewhat, “However, as it seems your actions have rooted out some power-abuse happening within the ranks of my security, you will not be executed... But the punishment must still be justly harsh, you understand? I nodded, “I understand.” She straightened up, “Very well, at 12 this afternoon, you, Freakeasy and your companion, Junkheap, shall be expelled, banished from our Stable. Does this seem like a fair punishment to you?” No, no it didn’t... But I nodded, “Yes, it is a fair punishment, Madam.” She smirked, “You’re a better liar.” Then she called out, “So it shall be! These two offenders of our peace, and of our laws, shall be banished from our stable, never to return again! We will reconvene at 12 to begin the process.” She marched away, her black cape trailing behind her as she walked. Much of the ponies in the crowd talked amongst themselves. Some agreed with the punishment, others felt she was being too soft on us. It was then I noticed Rosalyn walking by the Overmare’s side, occasionally looking back at us. Damn... I guessed it. Their colors were reversed, but the Overmare’s pink mane and white coat, perfectly matched Rosalyn’s pink coat and white mane. Rosie was the Overmare’s daughter... I’d been sticking it to stable royalty. ... 12 came by, the whole colony had gathered to witness the two of us, about to be expelled from our home, the only home we’d grown to know. Even my mother had showed up. For a change, she wasn’t drunk, or high off of some stallion’s musk. She held herself with the most dignity I had ever seen her. She sniffed, it seemed she was aware she was about to lose her last remaining family to the harsh wastelands, she would finally, truly be alone. Junkheap and I stood here, side-by-side, as the Overmare approached us, accompanied by a couple ponies from her council. Rosalyn was missing this time. The two ponies with the Overmare each carried saddlebags, heavy with supplies for surviving the world outside these walls. The saddlebags were thrown over our backs then strapped tight, mine a little lower to make room for my wings. The Overmare gave us a each a kind look, “Remember, this is not a death sentence, but a start of a new life for you both. You should really consider yourselves fortunate. So few of us would ever see a life outside of the stable, this is the only life we’ve known. You both have the opportunities to go out and find yourselves something better. I envy you. If not for my responsibilities, I would gladly throw off this stuffy suit then gallivant naked across those sands as I pleased!” Well, that was an image I didn’t need in my head. “Farewell, those of us who had known you with warm memories, we will miss you.” She gave her command to the guards standing by the vault door, “Unlock it now!” Both guard ponies silently and quickly went to their job of opening the door which was never supposed to open. These two were the only ponies in the whole facility who knew the code, then each only knew half of said code and were forbidden to ask the other for the rest of it. When the day came for them to retire from their posts, their replacements will be taught the same halves of the same code, then only they will know. The two of them, both earth ponies, worked in their halves of the vault code into their respective monitors on either side of the door. Once the code had been entered, steam hissed from the door before it slowly, loudly swung open, letting the harsh sunlight of the outside world to pour into their home for this briefest of moments. Overmare shouted, “The door is open! Both of you, leave now!” Junkheap and I followed her order. Together, we stepped out, through the opening then as soon as we were outside, the door swung closed behind us, never to be opened again. We stood there for we didn’t know how long. The desert sand blew around us, irritating our coats and making our eyes water, but no more than that blasted yellow ball in the sky. After a long silence, I finally said the first words to come to my head, “Well here we are... Alone together forever...” Junky nodded before he finally spoke, in hushed tones due to his neck injury, “We might as well make the best of it.” I nuzzled my mate for the first time since our earlier spat over my infidelities. It made me smile to feel his warmth against me again, “You... You really shouldn’t be out here with me... This was all my mistake.” Junky nodded his head in agreement before he spoke, “Yeah, but you’re my mistake.” He smiled down at me. We kissed, my wings wrapped around him. Our kiss broke and he whispered, “Come... Let’s find us some shelter.”
PrologueWar, terrible war. Widows, orphans, a motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our land. Brother turned on brother until nothing remained. And then came the peace, hard fought, sorely won. One species rose up from the ashes and a new era was born. But freedom has a cost. When the traitors were defeated, we swore as a nation we would never know this treason again. And so it was decreed that, each year, the various districts of Equestria would offer up, in tribute, one young colt and mare to fight to the death in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice. The lone victor, bathed in riches, would serve as a reminder of our generosity and our forgiveness. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safeguard our future. ... CRACK! FIZZLE! SPARK! UURRP! “’S the last goddamn time I ask ya ta shut yer fuckin’ trap, ya loud-mouthed talk-box!” I had thrown my last bottle of Applejack Daniels. The bottle still half-full of precious, god-given, sweet, life-giving, liver-drowning alcohol smashed into my vidscreen, shattering itself and the screen. Damn! I was gonna finish that... An exasperated whicker, or whatever fuckin’ horse noise that was, rang out by my right ear, provoking me to turn my dark violet eyes away from the tragedy before me. “Ya know, ya coulda just turned the damn thing off, Freaks.” I slammed down my right hoof on the table and knocked over the dominoes strewn across its flat top, “Ain’t no goddamned talk-box gonna tell Freakeasy what he should do with his life!” My endlessly tiresome compadre sighed, “Talk-box? We were just watchin’ a disc, that were some ol’ clip, not real! And now ya broke our vidscreen for the third time in two months!” My ears drooped as I suddenly remembered, “Oh yeah... That was a movie... My bad.” I shrugged it off as the shattered remains of my vidscreen sparked then caught on fire. I sniffed the air, “Ugh... Did you shit yer pants again, Junkheap?” Junkheap shouted, “Freaks! Your tail’s on fire!” I looked back at my fatass and indeed, my bi-colored red and green tail was on fire, the flames traveling up my appendage like a fuse to dynamite. “Oh yeah...” I stared back at my old lifelong friend, Junkheap for a good ten seconds. “OH SWEET FUCK IT BURNS!” I shouted at the top of my lungs once realization hit me and I rolled on the sterilized gray floor of my dormitory I shared with my compadre. Old Junky luckily had been drinking water because he was a PUSSY! who could never stand the sweet, sweet, flavor of cold whiskey guzzling down your throat. He bravely threw his whole tankard of water in my face, completely missing the fire... Truly a paragon of wits this one. Finally, as I squirmed and whined in pain on the floor, Junky stomped out the flames in my tail, smothering the fire while also breaking my tail in two places... My hero! “You dick...” I muttered before finally passing out from the pain. ... When I woke up, I was in the infirmary. I tried to pull myself up only to realize I had been strapped down. I had developed quite the reputation in the past. No matter how severe my injury, I always had to be back up on my hooves so my station manager wouldn’t pollute my delicate nostrils with her severe halitosis over why I wasn’t at work on time. This often ended in me being forcibly tranquilized then strapped to the hospital bed. This time they had skipped the whole me-waking-up-then-trying-to-escape part then went right on ahead into the strapping-me-down phase. I’d begun to think I was developing some sort of a fetish from all of this being bound-up against my will. If my wings weren’t pinned to this goddamned bed, they’d be sticking out right now. Something was sticking out though. I felt the cold air hitting my freak-stick as it had jutted out from my fat brown sheath. Huh... I was naked. Those pervy nurses always trying to get a peek at my pegi-pole. Huh... Now I feel like I’m forgetting something... Oh yeah, of course! *rummages through scattered junk until finding a video disk* My introduction! ... A shaggy, brown-furred pegasus tapped on the glass of a recording camera, “Uh, is this thing working?” An obscured voice muttered, “Yeah, yeah, that’s what the red light there’s for so... Whenever you’re ready.” The brown pegasus cleared his throat, “Uh, okay... Um, hello, if anypony out there can see this video then it probably means I’m dead... Though hopefully not because I am severely, severely allergic to dying.” He thought, “Right getting off topic... Um, somepony told me a while back I should make one of these in case I wanted other ponies to learn of what happened... I’ll spare the details, I’m not hear to tell you my life story, I’m just here to tell you, whomever views this video, who I am or was.” He took a breath before continuing while the grainy video flickered, “Uh, my name is Freakeasy... I was given that name because well...” The brown stallion shamelessly pulled down his pants to show his flank to the camera, “As you can see, my cutie mark is basically a black hole with angry eyes, not super creative but... There you go.” His wings flickered, “Um, and I’m a pegasus. My parents had fled from the Enclave in search of a peaceful life away from the strict, militaristic ways of our fellow pegasi.” He fidgeted, “They thought they could find a better life down here on the surface but... Things didn’t turn out so well.” The old damaged video flickered out at that point in the video. ... Huh... I coulda sworn there was more to that video... Oh well! *throws the video disk back among the pile of ambiguous scrap littering the floor* Back to your regularly scheduled me! The familiar hobbled clop of our stable’s head doctor snapped me out of my daydreams. My freak-stick had lost interest and retreated to my sheath by then. The glow of a unicorn’s horn flickered before it pulled back the curtain over my hospital bed and then I was staring into the discerning eyes of old Dr. Three-Hoof. That wasn’t his name, but it was one I made up for him due to the fact that he had only three legs. His left front leg had been lost long ago due to some accident with heavy machinery. In its place, he used a prosthetic hoof which always looked like some freaky robotic claw to me. I should have called him Dr. Claw. Old Three-Hoof harumphed his disapproval at seeing me once again on one of his beds, “Mr. Freakeasy... You, young colt, have a death wish, I swear to Celestia.” I cringed at the mention of that alicorn’s name. I wasn’t one to believe in some fairy tale, magic, horny horse princess who once ruled over this land. I was happy with my own imagined deity, thank you very much. The gray unicorn standing over me walked around me, “Well, don’t you have some witty retort for me, or did this last injury finally make you decide to act like an adult?” I smiled up at the perpetually frowning old ‘corn, “I’m sorry, sir. Freakeasy is not in at the moment, would you like to leave a message?” The unicorn doctor sputtered in disgust, “Ugh... And to think we could be giving this bed to somepony with more respect and dignity. Instead, I must soil it with a foul, disrespectful foal like you!” Indignantly, I pointed down to my crotch with my right hoof, “Excuse me! But does this look like the balls of a foal to you, sir?! No! I am an adult! And you are the pervert who’s fantasizing me as some little foal so you can fondle me to your heart’s content!” Three-Hoof’s temples pulsed in anger at me and I snickered that I could get under his skin so easily, “Overmare should have left you and your mother to the fuckin’ wastelands!” Now that was harsh, I thought to myself as the miffed unicorn walked away. There was a stallion who really needed to calm down with some nice mare riding him cowgirl style. Just the thought of a mare giving herself to me made my freak-stick rise out of my sheath again. I greeted it, “Oh, welcome back, old friend!” ... It was the very next morning that Three-Hoof decided to boot my ass out of the Stable’s infirmary. I put my pipbuck on; these things were so uncomfortable. They were like the stiffest bracelets you could ever get. They had no aesthetic appeal to them either, but then they weren’t made to look good, they were made to keep ponies like me alive. That dull green screen stared back at me as I fixed it on using one of my wings. Being one of only two pegasi living in all of Stable 89, I didn’t have horny horse magic to help me put on the device. I was, however, much more fortunate than the earth ponies, like my friend Junkheap, who had to do everything with their mouths. I could at least use my feathers as digits to manipulate objects. So now, with my ugly bracelet locked to my right hoof, my Stable 89 jumpsuit zipped up and my wings folded neatly, I made my way down to the lower levels where I worked. Now, down here was where shit got serious. Here was where we had the doors that went WHOOSH when they opened! WHOOSH! I loved that sound; hearing it made me feel like I was actually going to do something important. No sooner did I get to work than were my delicate nostrils assaulted by the shit-smelling breath of my station manager, Crusty Biscuit. I couldn’t have made that up if I tried. Her cutie mark was indeed a moldy, crusty old biscuit... Don’t look at me like that! I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who have seen their boss’s naked flanks! The dark blue mare may have had bad breath, but she was something else when you got her on a good day, if you know what I mean. Sure, I had to hold my breath the whole time, but that tight older mare pussy was totally worth it! “Freakeasy! You’re late!” Crusty yelled in my face. I quickly saluted my superior with my right wing, “Yes, ma’am! I apologize! I had an accident that left me bedridden for approximately half a day and one night!” I showed her my tail which was still singed though the hairs had begun to fall off. Crusty promptly shoved me, “Get your tail outta my face, Freak and get to work! You’re two minutes late! I’ve already docked your daily credits, pray I don’t take anymore.” I lowered my head in shame, “Yes ma’am!” Then I quickly trotted away to get out of her sight. Great in the sack she was, a total bitch any other day. Junkheap was already there, the poor foal turning a wrench to tighten a few loose bolts on one of the turbines which powered the whole stable. Thank god I didn’t have to use my mouth to hold a wrench, potentially sticking my face inside dangerous machinery. Once there, I began to contribute my typical portion of the work, which typically amounted to me telling Junky what to do while trying to do as little actual work myself. Junky and me had been best buds forever and I knew he would always stick up for me. And sure, if a supervisor came by, I was quick to pick up a wrench, hammer, or whatever. I had to keep up appearances after all. So I wasn’t totally lazy. Work went by fast, as it usually did and soon, Junky and me had checked out to collect our daily credit. ... After work, Junky and I would typically go to the Dark Room. It was a special place for hard workers like us to unwind with our fellow ponies, enjoy a good beer, even talk some lovely mare into bed for a night. Or stallion; I didn’t swing that way, but Junky sure did. I remembered nights being kept up in our dorm when he and some other stallion would get into it, and they got hot and heavy a lot of the time. I swear I didn’t swing that way, but sometimes hearing them did make me have to hoof myself in quiet shame. Anyway, Junky and me got to the Dark Room just when the place was just starting to get packed with equines. I went right up to the bar where I ordered a bottle of that fresh Applejack Daniels. I had an obsession with that brand, particularly with the pretty mare who had been the namesake for this precious nectar. I didn’t believe in the alicorns, but I did find some credence in these so-called Elements of Harmony. They sounded like they could have been a nice bunch from all I heard about them, but of them, Applejack was the one I found cutest. Junkheap, like always, just got himself a water. He began to drink before sputtering, “Oh shit, Freaky...” I looked up already intoxicated, “What’s up?” The dark green earth pony pointed behind me, “Isn’t that your mom over there?” Oh Hell... Hesitantly, I looked where he pointed and there she was, my mother, the only other pegasus resident of Stable 89 and... the stable bike. Losing my dad then having me did no wonders for my mother’s psyche. Though she had been saved from the wasteland, what moral part of her she’d had before had shattered. She was distressed to the point where she could barely take care of me. And now here she was, sprawled over a bar table while liquor was poured down her throat and while a yellow unicorn, one of the Stable Security, pulled off her undergarments with his magic. His standard issue pistol was holstered to his belt. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I watched that bastard undressing my mother, then shoving his muzzle between her legs to make her moan like... Like the whore she’d become. I could hear Junkheap trying to reel me back, “Freaky, you know there’s no way of helping her... And she’s enjoying herself anyway.” I could hear the cringe in his face as he quickly regretted those last words. Of course, I would never be upset with him telling me the truth. It was another thing entirely to see a security officer, somepony who was sworn to protect and serve, take advantage of my mother in her weakened mind state. That bastard had unbuckled his belt, letting his pants drop as he mounted my mother then effortlessly slid into her. “Arr... This bitch is like shoving a carrot down an empty hallway.” Before Junkheap could stop me, my wings flared as I stomped forward to confront the unicorn who was using my mother. “Goldenrod!” I shouted loudly to get his attention. The unicorn heard me, but did not slow down in humping my mother while she whinnied beneath him. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge me, he just kept going. “Goldenrod, you asshole! Get off of my mother now before I come over there and rip your fucking jaw out.” The unicorn looked aside to me, then withdrew his pistol using his magic, “Your mother is busy right now, Horse Fly. Now why don’t you back off and let a stallion bust a nut, huh?” I gritted my teeth in anger, a security pistol shoved in my face by this worthless asshole who didn’t even deserve his badge. I could feel angry tears pouring from my eyes as the bastard pressed himself tight against my mother, his tail twitching as he unloaded in my mother, here surrounded by onlookers who jeered at her, who mocked her loose morals. Goldenrod lowered himself off of my mother while she panted, while her legs were held open with his magic as one of his cronies stepped up to the plate. I felt the heavy hoof of my friend on my shoulder, “Freak, come on... You can’t help her.” I hated it when he was right. We left the Dark Room while Goldenrod and his two fellow officers continued to use my mother while I could just stand there like a fucking foal. ... We made it back to our dorm where I flopped down on my bed in a vain attempt to wipe this afternoon’s events from my mind. My mother was barely there for me; she couldn’t be with how damaged her mind was, but a colt still loved his mother. It always hurt me to see her like that, to see her being used, to hear everything that was said about her, then me by association. The tears I’d already shed for her were drying as streamed down my face. I had nearly calmed down when somepony climbed into bed then put his front hooves around me. Damn Junky... What tears I’d been fighting were let go while my friend held me against him. As I poured my soul into his warm chest, which I just realized had been stripped of his jumpsuit, I could feel the earth pony kissing me upon my brow, just below my red and green mane, “Shh... Freaky...” I could hear him, I could tell he had been crying to. Seeing me this way did that to him, I guessed. I calmed down some as my friend continued kissing me along my brown muzzle. This... felt weird. I hadn’t ever been kissed by another stallion, but I figured this was just his way of telling me to calm down. Those kisses came awfully close to my lips, then I had to pull back. “Junky... What are you doing?” I looked up and I saw his emerald green eyes staring back at me, “I’m sorry.” He looked so ashamed right now, like he was afraid he’d possibly damaged our friendship. “Junky... You know I’m not like that.” He sniffed, “Yeah...” “So why...” I was surprised more than anything. I knew my friend was gay. He came out to me years ago and we’d always been friends. I wouldn’t let my friend’s preferences ever get in the way; he was the only real friend I had in this whole damned place. If he could see past me being a pegasus, part of a race hated for abandoning the surface world to preserve themselves, then of course I was always there for him. I loved him as a friend, I never suspected he’d love me as more than that. He sniffed, “I’ll... I’ll just go back to my own bed... I’m sorry.” Something inside me cussed at me, stop him you asshole! He just bared his soul for you! Do something! I pulled myself up, “Wait!” Junky stopped, “What?” He looked at me. I looked at him. Dear God, this was already getting awkward! I had to do something, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I caught my friend’s face between my two front hooves, my wings folded over him to seemingly shield him from the outside world, then my lips connected with his. Fucking Christ, his eyes bugged out like crazy when it happened. Was it that bad? Before I could chicken out, I pushed forward more, rubbed my lips against his. I always thought kissing another stallion would feel like kissing the bottom of somepony’s work boots. I don’t know why I thought that... This just felt natural. His eyes closed as he let himself give in for me, then I felt his lips open, felt his tongue flicker against my lips. I’d kissed enough mares, even smelly old Crusty, to know how this worked. He opened and I let him have my tongue to play with, to taste as we transcended our friendship. I never thought I could feel this with another pony; none of the mares I’d ever slept with made me feel this. The next thing I remembered, I was pushing back the cover on my bed, so I could make room for my friend. He climbed back in with me, then neither of us had anymore to say, not for the rest of that night.
Chapter 2: Apfel to the KernKnock, knock, knock! SLAM! The door fell over after I had knocked on it. “Huh...” We had walked a considerable way away from Stable 89. We had no idea where the hell we were but we found some kind of old shack. This would make our shelter for tonight. I snuffled as I trotted in, “Ugh... Yeah something definitely died in here.” Junkheap walked by me. He pushed open another door, “I think I found a kitchen.” I followed him inside, “Great! Is there anything salvageable, anything for us to eat?” He was rummaging through dusty drawers, opening cupboards. There was an old refrigerator. He tugged it open. The smell hit our nostrils like a shotgun blast to the face. I covered my delicate nostrils with one of my wings, “Oh, God-fucking-damn!” Good news was, we found the dead thing. Bad news was, it was the spoiled rotten remains of some long killed animal. Whoever lived here had to get out in a hurry, in order for them to have left something like this! Junky slammed the fridge door shut, “Oh Celestia and Luna... What the hell?” I always cringed at the mention of the alicorns, but Junky was the exception, “Come on, I saw stairs. We should check up there. Maybe there’s a bed.” I led the way. These stairs scared me more than the whole outside world. The things creaked underhoof like they would crack under me then I’d fall. Still we made it to the top and found ourselves in a narrow little hallway with some doors. I wavered a bit before swallowing my pride, “Come on.” We both walked down the hall, opening doors to peek behind them. We found a bathroom. “Shit!” I cussed when I looked in and saw another dead thing. It was an earth pony. I didn’t know how long he’d been dead. Flesh still hung from his bones. He’d huddled up in his bathtub. His skull had clearly been decimated by a shotgun fired at point blank. Then I saw the barrel of such a weapon laying next to him. Junkheap nearly gagged after seeing it, “Oh... The poor son of a bitch ate his gun didn’t he?” I sighed, “Looks like it.” There was nothing we could do about that. Still, I had to check him. The shotgun was rusted to shit, it wouldn’t work. I found a scrap of paper. I picked it with a wing then read the writing scribbled on it. A father should never have ta bury his kin. It should be the other way around. Blasted Raiders took everythin’. They won’t take me... Whosoever finds me, see to it I get a good burial. Celestia forgive me, Apfel Kern These wastelanders really put a lot of stock in those alicorns didn’t they? “Apfel Kern... Nice to meet ya.” I offered a smile to the deceased pony. Junky read the same note after I’d set it down to go check the last unopened door. The next room I found had to have been in his bedroom. There was an old bed, tattered but cozy-looking nonetheless. It would have to serve us, only for the night. I set down my saddlebags as Junk came into the room. “According to this note, we’ve got Raiders in the area?” I was rummaging through my bag, found some salted crackers, some margarine... What was I, a foal getting ready for school? I nodded, “Yeah, that’s a distinct possibility.” Rummaging further I found dried fish jerky... Oh, Mom thought of me. I pulled out the plastic package then tore it open. I pulled out a strip of it and happily nibbled a piece. “Oh yeah... That’s like sex in the mouth.” Junk put down his saddlebag, “So we’re not worried or anything?” He looked through his bags, “They didn’t exactly pack us with anything to defend ourselves with.” I shrugged, “I’m sure an old guy like this probably has a secret ammo bunker hidden around here somewhere, but I’m not worried.” I tapped the gaudy PipBuck wrapped around my hoof, “This thing’s supposed ta light up or somethin’, right? I didn’t exactly pay attention in class...” Junky rolled his eyes, “’Cause you were always talkin’ to Rosalyn even then.” I blinked, “Oh... She was in our class? Can’t believe I forgot that...” My mate shook his head, “I believe it... Come here and I guess I’ll show ya.” So Junky spent that next hour refreshing me on how a PipBuck was supposed to work. I still couldn’t believe I forgot we knew Rosie even back then. Seriously, the Overmare’s daughter and I never realized it until the last moment. Huh... Wait, Junky’s telling me something... Right, PipBucks. ... Night rolled by quick, a little too quick. Things out here were definitely different than living in the Stable. For one, the air wasn’t as clean. Everywhere we looked, the wind blew around us, dust particles irritating our coats where it could get in under our jumpsuits. If I could say one nice thing about the wasteland... It was nice looking up at something that wasn’t gray! The sky above us stretched far and wide, in various colors of blue, dark blue, sometimes purple, amber, and there were clouds. I remembered reading old books Mom had taken with her from the Enclave. According to these books, pegasi like me could walk on clouds, and we once had some grasp at controlling the weather. As a foal I would ask my mom if these were all true, but half the time she was doped out on meds so she didn’t snap. It also left her highly unresponsive so I’d eventually given up asking. Nopony else cared enough to confirm my foalhood fantasies. I thought back on how dull, boring and gray everything was in the Stable. God, I hated the color gray. It was like some board of execs somewhere all got together at a meeting about what colors to make, then one guy in the back was like “I got an idea! How about we make up a color that’s so dull and plain, it just reminds you what a piece of shit your life was, is and will be until the day you die!” Then the boss-pony would be like, “Somepony give that colt a raise! He’s a fucking genius!” But I digress! Here I was lying on a bed next to my only trusted friend, Junky and I couldn’t sleep a wink. The snoring behind me told me he wasn’t having such an emotional turmoil about this swift change of dynamics in our lives. God, I wish I could be simpler, more like him... All of a sudden, the gaudy bracelet on my right hoof lit up. I looked at the little green screen, “Activity?” Hmm, I fidgeted with the thing, clicking buttons and switches while trying to remember everything Junk had just taught me. Damn, I hated having the attention span of a canary. Somehow, after minutes of messing with it, I activated the E.F.S. I blinked as a bunch of lights blinked on within my field of vision. “Huh... So that’s that... Wow I really missed out on a lot.” I continued tapping on the thing, realizing how little I had actually used this for all the years I’ve worn it. All this time I just thought of it as some ugly bracelet. Canary brain here... Almost too excited that I finally got this thing to work, I frantically shook Junkheap. “Junky! Junky, wake up!” He snuffled awake, “What? What is it? Are we under attack or somethin’?” I shook my head while I searched through the various menus like a foal who’d just got his first toy. I showed it to my friend, “Look! I got it working!” He sighed, looking at me with that same tired expression I’d come to know, “Ya woke me up for that?” I smiled so cutely, or I thought I did, “I’m just so excited!” Junky sighed, “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool... I’ve been using mine forever. I use it when we work, I used it when Goldenrod and his thugs went after you. It’s not just some little toy, Freaky. These PipBucks are lifesavers for us.” I stopped playing with it when he said that, “Well duh! I’d only had that shit hammered into my head nonstop!” Junkheap just gave me that exasperated sigh, topped with a weary smile, “Do you need another refresher, so you don’t forget again, Bird Brain?” I nodded eagerly, “I promise, I’ll really listen this time!” The dark green earth pony hooked a hoof over me, “Then get that cotton outta yer ears an’ listen good!” ... Morning came and I was a little bit smarter, so hooray, there was one big accomplishment! Junky and me had an early breakfast. We ate from our rations, some preserved vegetables, fruits and vital stuff like that. No meat, though. Ponies, even in times like these, still clung to their herbivore pasts. Horseshit! From what I read about my race, the pegasi, we’d learned to expand our diets to meat to keep ourselves strong, fit and healthy. The decayed meat in the fridge wouldn’t work, I would rather eat something that would not end in me huddled in a corner hating myself. Meanwhile, the monitor on my PipBuck scanned everything for me. Why hadn’t I been using this more? Am I really that dense? Junk still laughed from how blown away I was at tech he’d been using as naturally as if it were a part of him. He chuckled, “I swear, you are adorable when you’re finally doing something right.” I scanned the meat, my PipBuck quickly informed me of what dangerous germs may be contaminating it. So definitely no eating whatever the fuck this was. It was like I had new eyes, Sweet Celestia! Did I just say that? Fuck it! I scanned Junkheap just for fun and it told me everything it could about him: Earth Pony, 22 years old, Level 10 Observer. I had to ask, “What’s this thing here about levels, Junky?” Junk explained, “It basically means how much better you’re getting; it should also tell you what kinda perks you should be getting based on the things you’ve been doing.” He held up his PipBuck, “Here, I’ll do you.” So he scanned me, then showed me the readings, “There you see?” There I was: Pegasus, 20 years old, Level 2 Stable Renegade. “Why’s mine so far behind?” Junky shrugged, “I da know, what were ya up to all that time you weren’t chasing mares.” I cringed from that one, “Ouch, okay, I get your point.” Junk nudged me before I had a chance to feel too bad about myself, “Hey, you’ve done somethings right. Otherwise you wouldn’t even be at Level 2. Defending me, letting me love you, those were things that took guts and you don’t need some flashing lights to tell you that stuff.” I laughed a little under breath, “Damn, when did you get so smart?” Junk chuckled, “I’m not smart, just super observant.” We finished eating after that then we packed our saddlebags, “Well, we oughta hit the road now, see what we can find.” Junky was tightening the strap on his saddlebags, “Right, let’s get goin’!” ... An hour or so of daylight passed as we went on our way. I was scanning everything as we went, my natural pegasus curiosity driving me to learn what everything was. I could hear Junkheap snickering as he walked with me. “Ooh, ooh, I found something alive!” I showed him. He looked at my PipBuck, “Some minor lifeform, possibly some kind of insect.” And at about that moment, the ground cracked beneath us, throwing us off our hooves as we’d unwittingly sprung a trap of some sort. First came the harsh hiss of some large creature, followed by the spittle of said creature splattering the back of our necks before we rolled on our backs in near unison. Our eyes bugged out at the giant scorpion standing right before us. “Minor lifeform, some kind o’ insect!” I remarked before the large arachnid lashed out with its stinger. It grazed my tail, but didn’t pierce my appendage. It instead had jammed its stinger in the ground mere inches away from my rear. By instinct, I bucked, kicking the thing before righting myself while Junk did the same, “Come on!” I shouted to get him moving. Junk snapped out of whatever stupor he had been in then rolled onto his hooves. We both got up to run from our animal attacker, not having any viable weapons strong enough to pierce its exoskeleton. Right then, several more scorpions shot out of the ground in a great, disorienting cloud of dust. When the dust cleared, we found ourselves surrounded by the things. Damn! I wished I could fly with these otherwise useless wings. I’d trained them to handle any other task for me, but never had the need to learn their most basic use since I’d lived my whole life in an underground colony. Right now, my wings just flapped at my sides like a lazy cape. Junk and me stood flank-to-flank staring at opposite sides. I felt like this would’ve been the end, we had never ever been trained in combat, or even basic self defense. Correction, I hadn’t been trained. Junkheap must’ve saw the distress in my eyes. “Don’t worry, Freaky! I’ll get us out of this!” He reared up on his hindlegs then bucked the first scorpion that got close. Its carapace cracked and the thing shrieked in pain, but it was otherwise unharmed. So not even my friend could crack the creature’s armor. Just then, when it seemed everything was coming to a swift unhappy end for us, we heard “GET DOWN!” Instinctively, both of us did. Just then, the high pitched whine of some metal thing rotating rang out as scorpion hide splattered around us, accompanied by the loud shrieks of the dying creatures. As the roar died down, so did the scorpions, and then we just heard the wind blowing through our manes. The sound of dirt shifting under boots soon filled our ears. “Woo-wee! Don’t you two look like a couple o’ shaved tail louies!” HACK! PATOOIE! Junky and me both slowly looked up after hearing what sounded like a friendly voice. We both looked over the carnage that was once giant, pony-eating scorpions and saw an old orange-coated pony in a dusty jumpsuit. He had on an old stetson riddled with bullet holes. His eyes were bright green and looked two ways at once, there was a word for that... He chuckled in a creaky old grandpa type of voice, “Shoot! Err’body knows ya don’t go gallervantin’ ‘roun’ these ‘ere parts! Hills ‘re full o’ dem redscorpeens.” He somehow managed to get both eyes focused on us. He noticed our jumpsuits, “What’re you two anyway? A couple o’ stal pals?” He chuckled, “Wit’ a getup lahk that, I’d reckon!” He walked right by us, scooping scorpion entrails then picking different bits out to stuff in his dusty saddlebags. He licked his lips, “Yuh-huh... That’s a beaut.” He held up an oval-shaped object. Junky asked, “And what it is that, sir?” The old pony looked at my friend like the answer should have been obvious to him, “Why iss a scorpeen egg! Dese ‘re mighty good eatin’ an’ they fetch a purty penny wid da merchants!” He looked at the both of us, “Y’all two mean ta say ya ain’t never seen redscorpeens afore?” I shrugged, “I don’t know should we? You seemed like you had this handled anyway.” He nodded with a big affirmative, “Hmmph! Course! Ah bin livin’ out ‘ere most o’ mah days. ‘tain’t easy, but ah make do wid ol’ Bessie ‘ere!” He lugged a heavy minigun with him which looked like it would be too heavy for an old stallion like him. He pointed on his back, “An’ if Bessie ain’t partyin’, she’s got da ress o’ her family back ‘ere to keep me comp’ny.” Slung over his back was a trove of weapons which all looked to be in good working condition, like this old stallion just spent hours in a shack just polishing his guns. He also jiggled the heavy brown bag of valuables dangling from his waist, “An’ if ah lose any o’ dem, ah can jess buy moar!” Both me and Junky just kept looking at each other as the old stallion bragged on about how well equipped he was for this life. With his scorpion bits collected, he started back in the same direction he came from. “Welp, gotta make it back ta town afore dese spoil!” he stopped to look back at us, “Y’all two ‘re welcome to follow me. Jess no luvin’s ‘round me, ah’m too old ta get it up an’ y’all two would just be torturin’ this old fool.” He chuckled. Junky looked over at me, “Well, we’ve found somepony to help us, I think we should follow.” I agreed, “Yeah, we’ll follow and he’ll shoot whatever tries to kill us! It’s the perfect plan!” My wings shot up with how excited I was getting. All of a sudden, there was a great rumble as a scorpion tail shot out of the ground just inches in front the old pony. He looked up at the stinger as it glinted in the desert sun, “Well shit...” The scorpion tail swung down in a flash, piercing the older pony’s skull, nearly tearing his scalp off while his hat blew away in the wind until it came to rest right by my front right hoof. The stallion only had a second to scream before the tail swung back up, tearing the old pony’s head out along with his whole spinal column. The scorpion exploded out of the ground then it threw the old pony’s corpse as it saw two stronger, healthier ponies to feast on. Junk backed up while his pupils shrank, “What the fuck?” I could only stare while the old pony’s hat whipped against my hoof. Without thinking, I picked up the holey stetson then I fixed it upon my head. I turned on my E.F.S., it must have some feature that tells how to kill a giant scorpion. While I was fidgeting, my compadre rushed forward, “Junky wait!” He didn’t wait, the big lumbering earth pony charged ahead. The radscorpion struck out with its pincers. Apparently, that’s what Junky needed. He used his front hooves, launched himself from the angry arachnid’s bulbous claw. With his teeth, he latched on to the scorpion’s tail. That provided a distraction while the arachnid fought to shake my friend of its body. I took it. Spreading my wings, I dashed forward, fast as I could, collecting the old pony’s weapons cache before getting myself out of range out of the scorpion’s attacks. “I got the weapons!” Junky heard me, but couldn’t let go. “Take one of those guns and shoot the damn thing now!” Of course, with his mouth full, all that came out was nonsense. Thinking fast, I picked up the old pony’s double-barreled shotgun; definitely in better condition than the one we found earlier. Wielding the heavy thing using my right wing, I aimed it at the scorpion just as it was able to throw my friend aside. He hit the desert ground with a heavy thud. “Junky!” I shouted before fixing my grip with my flight feathers. I felt my wingtip wrap around the trigger. I squeezed the trigger, the shotgun went off and I hit the scorpion’s tail. The creature shrieked in pain as its stinger had been blown off. Good shot, but the damn thing was still alive. I went back into the pony’s sack. Whoa! What was an old pony like him doing with something like this? I stuck my face in then pulled out a buckball grenade. It was a grenade made out of a hollowed-out buckball. I didn’t think what I had to do next, I just did it. Yanking the pin, I tossed the grenade in the air, then swiftly bucked it with my back hooves. It went sailing. Thankfully, the scorpion had chosen that exact moment to roar at me. The grenade went into its mouth, it swallowed. Next thing I knew, the scorpion exploded in a gory shower of slimy bug guts. Both me and Junky were splattered in scorpion entrails. With danger averted, and a whole sack of weapons acquired, I ran over to my friend who was just pulling himself up. He wiped bug goo off of his face, “That was fucked up, but thank Celestia, ya did somethin’ productive for a change, Freaky!” I blushed from my friend’s praise, “Aw... I was just thinking on the fly, anypony coulda done what I did.” He rolled onto his hooves but didn’t stand quite yet, “Maybe they could have, but they didn’t, you did and that’s somethin’ to be proud of!” I helped my friend up, then cringed as I saw the scrapes along his right side, “Yeesh, that scorpion put a dent in ya.” He touched his wound and had to bite back on the pain, “Aah! Yeah, that’s gonna sting.” I led him away, as I noticed he was also limping, again on the side that had hit the ground, “Damn... He hurt you bad.” He winced, “Yeah...” He tried to keep pressure off of his injured hoof. I eventually had to lean against him, “Come on... We gotta sit you down somewhere so I can bandage you up.” He groaned, “Thanks, Freaky.” ... It had taken me half an hour and nearly half of the medical supplies in Junky’s saddlebag to sterilize then bandage his scrapes. I wasn’t trained enough to deal with an injured hoof, though. The most I could do was tie it up in a splint. Thankfully, there was plenty of chitin laying about, courtesy of all the dead scorpions in the area. I figured the stuff was hard and rigid enough to hold his injury, along with the proper bandaging of course. After that, we checked again our new cache we’d been rewarded for avenging that old pony’s death. I nodded as a weak smile crossed my face, “Yeah... Things are sure to get easier now...” Eventually, we both decided it was time to move on. I elected to carry our new weapons cache so Junky wouldn’t have needless extra weight aggravating his hoof. He still had to lean on me so he didn’t fall. We took the old pony’s bag of... bottlecaps? Whatever... Only thing we couldn’t take was his minigun. That had been completely wrecked when the scorpion threw his corpse. We still scavenged some parts in case we would need them later. When it was time to go, I faltered. I still had one more thing I needed to do. I scanned the old pony’s body with my Pipbuck. In an instant, I had his information: Kuchen Torte, Earth Pony, 69 years old, Level 30, Current Status: Deceased, Descendant of the Pie family. With that done, I tugged on the old pony’s stetson which now lay on my head, “Come on, Junky, let’s go...”
Chapter 1: Freak OutOne year later... An exclamation of pure male ecstasy rang out within the small, sterile dormitory we called home. My ass hurts, not by much, I’d had a whole year’s worth of exploring my sexuality to get used to that feeling of a great equine cock stuffed to the root up my anus. A year ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of me, Freakeasy ever laying with another male and now I’ve given myself to Junkheap, my coltfriend. Seriously, this guy! Big, tall, muscle-y, green earth pony and I loved him. Even now, I could feel the big oaf kissing me all over my neck, licking me along the ridges of my mane. And today was such a special day for me too. Today I’d just turned 20. Junky and me had spent the whole day together celebrating and drinking, the guy never drinks, today he did. Now here we were laying in each others’ hooves, My Junky literally fucking the shit out of me. Just kidding! I always made sure I was clean before letting my colfriend mount me. And never once did I ever even look at any mares... I’m such a horrible liar. ... Approximately three days ago, security footage caught a certain pegasus in a storage closet getting his dick waxed by a lovely mare he’d spent more than one night with. The brown pegasus humped hard and free into the lovely rose-furred mare beneath him. He humped her so hard he was making her scream her lungs out, so it was a good thing she happened to be a unicorn. She used her magic to soundproof the little closet but didn’t know about the camera watching their illicit affair. The pegasus’ wings shot up as he moaned and he climaxed inside this lovely mare. ... Okay... So I’m not just a horrible liar, I’m also a terrible fucking pony. I mean seriously, what the fuck? Junkheap bared himself for me; he risked our friendship and we became closer because of it. Yet I couldn’t stop being me; the horny little asshole who still wanted to drink himself silly then fuck mares. And I knew... I knew Junky suspected. He’s known me for so long, he knows me. That just made it worse. Was I turning into Mom? My mother still carried on in the same way she’d been ever since her mind broke after reapers caught her and my dad. They... They raped her, even while she was pregnant with me. They made her watch while they chopped up Dad like a fucking animal. They broke her. Now she spent her days letting males use her all they wanted. She didn’t say no to much of the humiliation they piled on her. She often had more than one stallion on her at once. It made me sick to think of her like that. Now I’m probably no better. I have most of marbles, I’m of sane mind, yet I still have it in me to cheat on my coltfriend, to go behind his back and hump random mares. My self-loathing ended the moment I felt my love climax, his soothing torrent rushing through my insides and I moaned for him, whispering how much I loved him. Of course I was telling the truth, but how could I if I couldn’t stay faithful? ... The next day, we’d showered then went to work. In the past, I’ll admit, I’d been pretty lazy. Nowadays, I actually put in the effort. I realized it wasn’t fair of me to have Junky do all the work. So now I did my own share of the work and what do you know? It netted me bigger pay than usual. So hard work did have its virtues. In fact, today had been going so well, something had to come along to ruin it... And it did. Junky and I had gone to the Dark Room, like we always did, everyday like clockwork. “Shots!” I shouted while the bartender poured whiskey shots for me and Junkheap. I held my glass up with my right wing, “Junky!” He held his up awkwardly on one hoof, “Freaky!” “Forever!” We both shouted before drinking our whiskey. I nearly coughed up my drink when I spotted that unicorn mare, the one I’d seen behind Junky’s back. She spotted me, clearly sitting with my coltfriend and still made her way right to me. I looked away, trying to ignore her, pouring myself another shot. Then, I felt her magic tug on me until our lips met and my coltfriend saw us. I pulled away from her, “Junky...” He looked at us. He didn’t seem upset, not outwardly. He smiled, “Who’s your friend here, Freaky?” I gulped before introducing her, “Oh, oh, this is Rosalyn.” The rosen mare looked at my coltfriend, “Hey...” She was smiling too, clearly inebriated right now. She jumped into Junky’s front hooves, “Ooh! I’ve got an idea, lets all three of us go... Then you both get to fuck me, huh?” Junkheap couldn’t hide his disappointment as this female blatantly hit on him, “That... That’s not going to happen.” Rosalyn giggled, “And why not? What are ya a colt cuddler or somethin’?” She was definitely drunk. Junky never stopped glaring at me while she ground against him until she eventually got bored then went to find some easier male, “Aw... You guys are no fun!” God I felt like such a piece of shit right now. ... We went home that night. “After all I go through for you... You still do this shit to me! Freak, I thought you loved me!” My heart pounded as my love berated me and my stupid poor-decision-making dumb-head. “I do love you...” I was telling the truth, “You are the only friend I’ve ever had in here. You remember?” Junkheap sat down on our bed, “Yes I remember... Goldenrod and his friends, they tried to hurt you, because you were a pegasus, and I just couldn’t let them. From then on, I always felt like I needed to be there for you, to protect you. I didn’t care about your race, I still don’t. I fell in love with you, the Freaky who always stayed positive now matter how much life seemed to shit on him.” Damn me and my freak-stick... “I’ll make it up to you! Anything, tell me, just anything! I’ve been beating myself up over the whole thing!” Junky shook his head, “And I waited for you to come out and say it. I thought we’d built that much trust that you could at least tell me when you fucked up.” I put my hooves on his chest, “Junky, I couldn’t... I was already afraid of what you would think if I just told you about it.” He just shook his head at me, “It still would have been better to hear it from you then than you being cornered where you had no choice but to tell me.” I sobbed, “I’m sorry.” I don’t know how many times I said it, I just kept saying it, my face buried in his coat. We went to bed, but there was no lovemaking to be had. ... The next day and things just kept getting better... Junky and me went straight to work, like always, but he still wasn’t talking to me. He wanted me to stew in the shithole I’d dug myself into and I deserved every bit of it. Junky had to go take a leak, that or he just wanted to get away from me. Either way, I heard him walk away while I continued working on a broken turbine. My ears swiveled from the sound of hooves walking across the floor towards me. The next thing I knew... THWACK! I was laying on the ground holding my head where I’d been struck. I looked up in utter pain as whomever it was dragged me to the turbine. They opened it... They were going to shove me in then turn on the machine. As soon as I realized it, I fought against them, but their unicorn magic held me down with very little effort, fucking horny horses! “Goldenrod!” I heard Junky shouting then one of the stable security ponies who’d been holding me was knocked off of me. I saw in sickening slow-motion as the red stallion went face first into the machine. Its gears cut off his screams as his face, then his whole head were ground up into chunks of bone and meat. The other one backed off while my coltfriend stood up against Goldenrod. The yellow unicorn glared at my love, “Look at you... Filthy colt-cuddler turning your back on the colony for some fucking horse fly.” Junkheap tried to talk some sense into him, “Freakeasy’s not a horse fly, he’s a pony just like you and me.” Goldenrod had a crazed look, the kind that said he’d made up his mind about us and nothing would sway him, “He’s not like us... He’s a fucking pegasus! The traitors who abandoned us all to the wastelands to save themselves! And you all expected me to just accept him! My job means I’m supposed to deal with all traitors, Colt Cuddler!” Junk would have said something but unfortunately he felt Goldenrod’s unicorn magic wrap around his neck, slowly constricting, robbing the earth pony of his air supply. And here I lay, watching the love of my life about to be snuffed out for the simple crime of coming to my defense. It was times like this I wished I had unicorn magic. Instead, I saw the next best thing. The headless unicorn corpse laying right next to me. He still had his pistol on him. I had never fired a weapon, never been trained to even handle these specialized guns we used, but today I was getting a crash course! In a flash, I yanked the pistol from his holster. I pointed the weapon, awkwardly holding it in my mouth, before remembering I had wings. I spat the weapon out into my right wing. I had a firm grip on the thing now using my flight feathers. As I could hear my love’s voice begin to croak, I pointed the thing at Goldenrod, then squeezed the trigger with my wing tip. BANG! It went off. Goldenrod had only a split second to react before the single shell I’d fired gored out his right eyeball, then blew out the back of his head. My lifelong tormentor spasmed on his legs for a second before dropping to the floor. It happened. I’d just killed another pony. I twitched in shock, letting the pistol drop out of my wing to clatter harmlessly on the floor. My violet eyes never felt smaller than they did now. Junkheap hacked through a bruised neck as he crawled across to hold me in his hooves. The third surviving guard panicked then ran to get help while Junky and me rocked together as we each cried into the others’ shoulders. But wait... The best part was yet to come... ... “Order!” the harsh but reasonable voice of our great Overmare rang out over a crowd of angry, hateful ponies. Here we stood, locked in chains, surrounded by stable security, some of whom had been close friends with Goldenrod. Both Junky and me surrendered without a fight... It didn’t stop them from beating us into submission. We both stood here bruised, covered in scrapes, with our hooves chains, our pipbucks confiscated, my wings bound to my back. Don’t know what they were so worried about, I never even learned to fly. Our Overmare, a benevolent old unicorn mare with fair white fur and a rosy pink mane, speckled with the grays of her old age, looked down upon me and Junkheap. She cringed at how beat up we looked, “Why are these prisoners bruised and beaten, Security?” The gray unicorn on our left lied to the Overmare’s face, “They resisted arrest, tried to fight us, we did what we had to do, Overmare, Madam.” She saw straight through him, “These two?” She pointed at me, “This one may be an unruly brat, but I’ve never known him to be a troublemaker.” Then she pointed to Junky, “And this one here has been a model citizen his whole life, so don’t dare lie to me about them resisting arrest, do you understand, Corporal?” The security officer backed off, soundly told off by the Overmare, “Yes, Madam.” The Overmare straightened up, “However, resisting arrest or not... You two stand before me having committed that most heinous crime of murdering your fellow stablemates, not only that but two officers of the law! How do you plead?” Junk could barely speak. He wore a neck-brace following his attack by Goldenrod who now lay somewhere stinking up an examination table. I spoke for the both of us, “We plead guilty on the grounds of self defense, Madam.” I kept my violet eyes trained on her admittedly beautiful pink eyes. Looking at her, she reminded me of... She couldn’t be. I straightened myself up as best as I could under her stern gaze, “These two officers, plus a third, attacked us... Goldenrod has always antagonized us since we were foals, because I was a pegasus, because Junkheap liked other stallions, he was always riding us and yesterday... Yesterday I guess he got tired of us.” She never took her eyes off me as I spoke, I doubt she even blinked once. She closed them only when I was done talking, then called out, “Security Officer Greenwich!” The officer in question, a teal unicorn, one of the bastards who’d tried to kill me. The Overmare looked him in the eye, “You told your superiors that these ponies had attacked you, Goldenrod and Rojo, unprovoked. Now they tell me that it was you who had done the attacking.” Greenwich sputtered, “A bold-faced lie! Surely you won’t believe the lies of two murderers, especially a dirty horse fly!” He bit his lip after letting that racial slur slip out. She nodded, “That’s all I needed to know. Officers, arrest Greenwich here for abusing the power of his badge.” The teal unicorn panicked, “No! I’m not the crook here! It’s them!” He was swiftly locked in chains, then muzzled by his fellow officers who then dragged him away as he sniveled in shame. After he was gone from her sight, the Overmare turned her sights on us, “In the light of this new development... Your punishments shall be altered. You know, as well as all ponies of our stable, that the punishment for murder is immediate death.” Her features softened somewhat, “However, as it seems your actions have rooted out some power-abuse happening within the ranks of my security, you will not be executed... But the punishment must still be justly harsh, you understand? I nodded, “I understand.” She straightened up, “Very well, at 12 this afternoon, you, Freakeasy and your companion, Junkheap, shall be expelled, banished from our Stable. Does this seem like a fair punishment to you?” No, no it didn’t... But I nodded, “Yes, it is a fair punishment, Madam.” She smirked, “You’re a better liar.” Then she called out, “So it shall be! These two offenders of our peace, and of our laws, shall be banished from our stable, never to return again! We will reconvene at 12 to begin the process.” She marched away, her black cape trailing behind her as she walked. Much of the ponies in the crowd talked amongst themselves. Some agreed with the punishment, others felt she was being too soft on us. It was then I noticed Rosalyn walking by the Overmare’s side, occasionally looking back at us. Damn... I guessed it. Their colors were reversed, but the Overmare’s pink mane and white coat, perfectly matched Rosalyn’s pink coat and white mane. Rosie was the Overmare’s daughter... I’d been sticking it to stable royalty. ... 12 came by, the whole colony had gathered to witness the two of us, about to be expelled from our home, the only home we’d grown to know. Even my mother had showed up. For a change, she wasn’t drunk, or high off of some stallion’s musk. She held herself with the most dignity I had ever seen her. She sniffed, it seemed she was aware she was about to lose her last remaining family to the harsh wastelands, she would finally, truly be alone. Junkheap and I stood here, side-by-side, as the Overmare approached us, accompanied by a couple ponies from her council. Rosalyn was missing this time. The two ponies with the Overmare each carried saddlebags, heavy with supplies for surviving the world outside these walls. The saddlebags were thrown over our backs then strapped tight, mine a little lower to make room for my wings. The Overmare gave us a each a kind look, “Remember, this is not a death sentence, but a start of a new life for you both. You should really consider yourselves fortunate. So few of us would ever see a life outside of the stable, this is the only life we’ve known. You both have the opportunities to go out and find yourselves something better. I envy you. If not for my responsibilities, I would gladly throw off this stuffy suit then gallivant naked across those sands as I pleased!” Well, that was an image I didn’t need in my head. “Farewell, those of us who had known you with warm memories, we will miss you.” She gave her command to the guards standing by the vault door, “Unlock it now!” Both guard ponies silently and quickly went to their job of opening the door which was never supposed to open. These two were the only ponies in the whole facility who knew the code, then each only knew half of said code and were forbidden to ask the other for the rest of it. When the day came for them to retire from their posts, their replacements will be taught the same halves of the same code, then only they will know. The two of them, both earth ponies, worked in their halves of the vault code into their respective monitors on either side of the door. Once the code had been entered, steam hissed from the door before it slowly, loudly swung open, letting the harsh sunlight of the outside world to pour into their home for this briefest of moments. Overmare shouted, “The door is open! Both of you, leave now!” Junkheap and I followed her order. Together, we stepped out, through the opening then as soon as we were outside, the door swung closed behind us, never to be opened again. We stood there for we didn’t know how long. The desert sand blew around us, irritating our coats and making our eyes water, but no more than that blasted yellow ball in the sky. After a long silence, I finally said the first words to come to my head, “Well here we are... Alone together forever...” Junky nodded before he finally spoke, in hushed tones due to his neck injury, “We might as well make the best of it.” I nuzzled my mate for the first time since our earlier spat over my infidelities. It made me smile to feel his warmth against me again, “You... You really shouldn’t be out here with me... This was all my mistake.” Junky nodded his head in agreement before he spoke, “Yeah, but you’re my mistake.” He smiled down at me. We kissed, my wings wrapped around him. Our kiss broke and he whispered, “Come... Let’s find us some shelter.”
