Fallout Equestria: Freaked

Knock, knock, knock!  SLAM!

The door fell over after I had knocked on it.  “Huh...”

We had walked a considerable way away from Stable 89.  We had no idea where the hell we were but we found some kind of old shack.  This would make our shelter for tonight.

I snuffled as I trotted in, “Ugh... Yeah something definitely died in here.”

Junkheap walked by me.  He pushed open another door, “I think I found a kitchen.”

I followed him inside, “Great!  Is there anything salvageable, anything for us to eat?”

He was rummaging through dusty drawers, opening cupboards.  There was an old refrigerator.  He tugged it open.

The smell hit our nostrils like a shotgun blast to the face.  I covered my delicate nostrils with one of my wings, “Oh, God-fucking-damn!”

Good news was, we found the dead thing.

Bad news was, it was the spoiled rotten remains of some long killed animal.  Whoever lived here had to get out in a hurry, in order for them to have left something like this!

Junky slammed the fridge door shut, “Oh Celestia and Luna... What the hell?”

I always cringed at the mention of the alicorns, but Junky was the exception, “Come on, I saw stairs.  We should check up there.  Maybe there’s a bed.”  I led the way.

These stairs scared me more than the whole outside world.  The things creaked underhoof like they would crack under me then I’d fall.  Still we made it to the top and found ourselves in a narrow little hallway with some doors.  I wavered a bit before swallowing my pride, “Come on.”

We both walked down the hall, opening doors to peek behind them.  We found a bathroom.

“Shit!”  I cussed when I looked in and saw another dead thing.  It was an earth pony.  I didn’t know how long he’d been dead.  Flesh still hung from his bones.  He’d huddled up in his bathtub.  His skull had clearly been decimated by a shotgun fired at point blank.  Then I saw the barrel of such a weapon laying next to him.

Junkheap nearly gagged after seeing it, “Oh... The poor son of a bitch ate his gun didn’t he?”

I sighed, “Looks like it.”

There was nothing we could do about that.  Still, I had to check him.  The shotgun was rusted to shit, it wouldn’t work.  I found a scrap of paper.  I picked it with a wing then read the writing scribbled on it.

A father should never have ta bury his kin.  It should be the other way around.  Blasted Raiders took everythin’.  They won’t take me...  Whosoever finds me, see to it I get a good burial.

Celestia forgive me, Apfel Kern

These wastelanders really put a lot of stock in those alicorns didn’t they?

“Apfel Kern...  Nice to meet ya.” I offered a smile to the deceased pony.

Junky read the same note after I’d set it down to go check the last unopened door.

The next room I found had to have been in his bedroom.

There was an old bed, tattered but cozy-looking nonetheless.  It would have to serve us, only for the night.  I set down my saddlebags as Junk came into the room.

“According to this note, we’ve got Raiders in the area?”

I was rummaging through my bag, found some salted crackers, some margarine... What was I, a foal getting ready for school?  I nodded, “Yeah, that’s a distinct possibility.”  Rummaging further I found dried fish jerky... Oh, Mom thought of me.

I pulled out the plastic package then tore it open.  I pulled out a strip of it and happily nibbled a piece. “Oh yeah... That’s like sex in the mouth.”

Junk put down his saddlebag, “So we’re not worried or anything?”  He looked through his bags, “They didn’t exactly pack us with anything to defend ourselves with.”

I shrugged, “I’m sure an old guy like this probably has a secret ammo bunker hidden around here somewhere, but I’m not worried.”  I tapped the gaudy PipBuck wrapped around my hoof, “This thing’s supposed ta light up or somethin’, right?  I didn’t exactly pay attention in class...”

Junky rolled his eyes, “’Cause you were always talkin’ to Rosalyn even then.”

I blinked, “Oh...  She was in our class?  Can’t believe I forgot that...”

My mate shook his head, “I believe it...  Come here and I guess I’ll show ya.”

So Junky spent that next hour refreshing me on how a PipBuck was supposed to work.  I still couldn’t believe I forgot we knew Rosie even back then.  Seriously, the Overmare’s daughter and I never realized it until the last moment.

Huh...  Wait, Junky’s telling me something... Right, PipBucks.

...

Night rolled by quick, a little too quick.  Things out here were definitely different than living in the Stable.

For one, the air wasn’t as clean.  Everywhere we looked, the wind blew around us, dust particles irritating our coats where it could get in under our jumpsuits.

If I could say one nice thing about the wasteland... It was nice looking up at something that wasn’t gray!

The sky above us stretched far and wide, in various colors of blue, dark blue, sometimes purple, amber, and there were clouds.  I remembered reading old books Mom had taken with her from the Enclave.  According to these books, pegasi like me could walk on clouds, and we once had some grasp at controlling the weather.

As a foal I would ask my mom if these were all true, but half the time she was doped out on meds so she didn’t snap.  It also left her highly unresponsive so I’d eventually given up asking.  Nopony else cared enough to confirm my foalhood fantasies.

I thought back on how dull, boring and gray everything was in the Stable.  God, I hated the color gray.

It was like some board of execs somewhere all got together at a meeting about what colors to make, then one guy in the back was like “I got an idea!  How about we make up a color that’s so dull and plain, it just reminds you what a piece of shit your life was, is and will be until the day you die!”  Then the boss-pony would be like, “Somepony give that colt a raise!  He’s a fucking genius!”

But I digress!

Here I was lying on a bed next to my only trusted friend, Junky and I couldn’t sleep a wink.

The snoring behind me told me he wasn’t having such an emotional turmoil about this swift change of dynamics in our lives.  God, I wish I could be simpler, more like him...

All of a sudden, the gaudy bracelet on my right hoof lit up.  I looked at the little green screen, “Activity?” Hmm, I fidgeted with the thing, clicking buttons and switches while trying to remember everything Junk had just taught me.

Damn, I hated having the attention span of a canary.

Somehow, after minutes of messing with it, I activated the E.F.S.  I blinked as a bunch of lights blinked on within my field of vision.  “Huh... So that’s that... Wow I really missed out on a lot.”  I continued tapping on the thing, realizing how little I had actually used this for all the years I’ve worn it.  All this time I just thought of it as some ugly bracelet.  Canary brain here...

Almost too excited that I finally got this thing to work, I frantically shook Junkheap.  “Junky!  Junky, wake up!”

He snuffled awake, “What?  What is it?  Are we under attack or somethin’?”

I shook my head while I searched through the various menus like a foal who’d just got his first toy.  I showed it to my friend, “Look!  I got it working!”

He sighed, looking at me with that same tired expression I’d come to know, “Ya woke me up for that?”

I smiled so cutely, or I thought I did, “I’m just so excited!”

Junky sighed, “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool... I’ve been using mine forever.  I use it when we work, I used it when Goldenrod and his thugs went after you.  It’s not just some little toy, Freaky.  These PipBucks are lifesavers for us.”

I stopped playing with it when he said that, “Well duh!  I’d only had that shit hammered into my head nonstop!”

Junkheap just gave me that exasperated sigh, topped with a weary smile, “Do you need another refresher, so you don’t forget again, Bird Brain?”

I nodded eagerly, “I promise, I’ll really listen this time!”

The dark green earth pony hooked a hoof over me, “Then get that cotton outta yer ears an’ listen good!”

...

Morning came and I was a little bit smarter, so hooray, there was one big accomplishment!

Junky and me had an early breakfast.  We ate from our rations, some preserved vegetables, fruits and vital stuff like that.  No meat, though.

Ponies, even in times like these, still clung to their herbivore pasts.

Horseshit!  From what I read about my race, the pegasi, we’d learned to expand our diets to meat to keep ourselves strong, fit and healthy.

The decayed meat in the fridge wouldn’t work, I would rather eat something that would not end in me huddled in a corner hating myself.

Meanwhile, the monitor on my PipBuck scanned everything for me.  Why hadn’t I been using this more?  Am I really that dense?

Junk still laughed from how blown away I was at tech he’d been using as naturally as if it were a part of him.  He chuckled, “I swear, you are adorable when you’re finally doing something right.”

I scanned the meat, my PipBuck quickly informed me of what dangerous germs may be contaminating it.  So definitely no eating whatever the fuck this was.

It was like I had new eyes, Sweet Celestia!  Did I just say that?  Fuck it!

I scanned Junkheap just for fun and it told me everything it could about him:  Earth Pony, 22 years old, Level 10 Observer.

I had to ask, “What’s this thing here about levels, Junky?”

Junk explained, “It basically means how much better you’re getting; it should also tell you what kinda perks you should be getting based on the things you’ve been doing.”  He held up his PipBuck, “Here, I’ll do you.”

So he scanned me, then showed me the readings, “There you see?”

There I was: Pegasus, 20 years old, Level 2 Stable Renegade.

“Why’s mine so far behind?”

Junky shrugged, “I da know, what were ya up to all that time you weren’t chasing mares.”

I cringed from that one, “Ouch, okay, I get your point.”

Junk nudged me before I had a chance to feel too bad about myself, “Hey, you’ve done somethings right.  Otherwise you wouldn’t even be at Level 2.  Defending me, letting me love you, those were things that took guts and you don’t need some flashing lights to tell you that stuff.”

I laughed a little under breath, “Damn, when did you get so smart?”

Junk chuckled, “I’m not smart, just super observant.”

We finished eating after that then we packed our saddlebags, “Well, we oughta hit the road now, see what we can find.”

Junky was tightening the strap on his saddlebags, “Right, let’s get goin’!”

...

An hour or so of daylight passed as we went on our way.

I was scanning everything as we went, my natural pegasus curiosity driving me to learn what everything was.

I could hear Junkheap snickering as he walked with me.

“Ooh, ooh, I found something alive!” I showed him.

He looked at my PipBuck, “Some minor lifeform, possibly some kind of insect.”

And at about that moment, the ground cracked beneath us, throwing us off our hooves as we’d unwittingly sprung a trap of some sort.

First came the harsh hiss of some large creature, followed by the spittle of said creature splattering the back of our necks before we rolled on our backs in near unison.

Our eyes bugged out at the giant scorpion standing right before us.

“Minor lifeform, some kind o’ insect!” I remarked before the large arachnid lashed out with its stinger.  It grazed my tail, but didn’t pierce my appendage.  It instead had jammed its stinger in the ground mere inches away from my rear.

By instinct, I bucked, kicking the thing before righting myself while Junk did the same, “Come on!” I shouted to get him moving.

Junk snapped out of whatever stupor he had been in then rolled onto his hooves.

We both got up to run from our animal attacker, not having any viable weapons strong enough to pierce its exoskeleton.

Right then, several more scorpions shot out of the ground in a great, disorienting cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, we found ourselves surrounded by the things.

Damn!  I wished I could fly with these otherwise useless wings.  I’d trained them to handle any other task for me, but never had the need to learn their most basic use since I’d lived my whole life in an underground colony.  Right now, my wings just flapped at my sides like a lazy cape.

Junk and me stood flank-to-flank staring at opposite sides.

I felt like this would’ve been the end, we had never ever been trained in combat, or even basic self defense.  Correction, I hadn’t been trained.

Junkheap must’ve saw the distress in my eyes.  “Don’t worry, Freaky!  I’ll get us out of this!”  He reared up on his hindlegs then bucked the first scorpion that got close.

Its carapace cracked and the thing shrieked in pain, but it was otherwise unharmed.

So not even my friend could crack the creature’s armor.

Just then, when it seemed everything was coming to a swift unhappy end for us, we heard “GET DOWN!”

Instinctively, both of us did.

Just then, the high pitched whine of some metal thing rotating rang out as scorpion hide splattered around us, accompanied by the loud shrieks of the dying creatures.

As the roar died down, so did the scorpions, and then we just heard the wind blowing through our manes.

The sound of dirt shifting under boots soon filled our ears.

“Woo-wee!  Don’t you two look like a couple o’ shaved tail louies!” HACK! PATOOIE!

Junky and me both slowly looked up after hearing what sounded like a friendly voice.

We both looked over the carnage that was once giant, pony-eating scorpions and saw an old orange-coated pony in a dusty jumpsuit.

He had on an old stetson riddled with bullet holes.  His eyes were bright green and looked two ways at once, there was a word for that...

He chuckled in a creaky old grandpa type of voice, “Shoot!  Err’body knows ya don’t go gallervantin’ ‘roun’ these ‘ere parts!  Hills ‘re full o’ dem redscorpeens.”

He somehow managed to get both eyes focused on us.  He noticed our jumpsuits, “What’re you two anyway?  A couple o’ stal pals?”  He chuckled, “Wit’ a getup lahk that, I’d reckon!”

He walked right by us, scooping scorpion entrails then picking different bits out to stuff in his dusty saddlebags.

He licked his lips, “Yuh-huh... That’s a beaut.”  He held up an oval-shaped object.

Junky asked, “And what it is that, sir?”

The old pony looked at my friend like the answer should have been obvious to him, “Why iss a scorpeen egg!  Dese ‘re mighty good eatin’ an’ they fetch a purty penny wid da merchants!”

He looked at the both of us, “Y’all two mean ta say ya ain’t never seen redscorpeens afore?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know should we?  You seemed like you had this handled anyway.”

He nodded with a big affirmative, “Hmmph!  Course!  Ah bin livin’ out ‘ere most o’ mah days.  ‘tain’t easy, but ah make do wid ol’ Bessie ‘ere!”

He lugged a heavy minigun with him which looked like it would be too heavy for an old stallion like him.

He pointed on his back, “An’ if Bessie ain’t partyin’, she’s got da ress o’ her family back ‘ere to keep me comp’ny.”  Slung over his back was a trove of weapons which all looked to be in good working condition, like this old stallion just spent hours in a shack just polishing his guns.

He also jiggled the heavy brown bag of valuables dangling from his waist, “An’ if ah lose any o’ dem, ah can jess buy moar!”

Both me and Junky just kept looking at each other as the old stallion bragged on about how well equipped he was for this life.

With his scorpion bits collected, he started back in the same direction he came from.  “Welp, gotta make it back ta town afore dese spoil!”  he stopped to look back at us, “Y’all two ‘re welcome to follow me.  Jess no luvin’s ‘round me, ah’m too old ta get it up an’ y’all two would just be torturin’ this old fool.”  He chuckled.

Junky looked over at me, “Well, we’ve found somepony to help us, I think we should follow.”

I agreed, “Yeah, we’ll follow and he’ll shoot whatever tries to kill us!  It’s the perfect plan!”  My wings shot up with how excited I was getting.

All of a sudden, there was a great rumble as a scorpion tail shot out of the ground just inches in front the old pony.

He looked up at the stinger as it glinted in the desert sun, “Well shit...”

The scorpion tail swung down in a flash, piercing the older pony’s skull, nearly tearing his scalp off while his hat blew away in the wind until it came to rest right by my front right hoof.

The stallion only had a second to scream before the tail swung back up, tearing the old pony’s head out along with his whole spinal column.

The scorpion exploded out of the ground then it threw the old pony’s corpse as it saw two stronger, healthier ponies to feast on.

Junk backed up while his pupils shrank, “What the fuck?”

I could only stare while the old pony’s hat whipped against my hoof.  Without thinking, I picked up the holey stetson then I fixed it upon my head.  I turned on my E.F.S., it must have some feature that tells how to kill a giant scorpion.  While I was fidgeting, my compadre rushed forward, “Junky wait!”

He didn’t wait, the big lumbering earth pony charged ahead.

The radscorpion struck out with its pincers.

Apparently, that’s what Junky needed.

He used his front hooves, launched himself from the angry arachnid’s bulbous claw.  With his teeth, he latched on to the scorpion’s tail.

That provided a distraction while the arachnid fought to shake my friend of its body.

I took it.  Spreading my wings, I dashed forward, fast as I could, collecting the old pony’s weapons cache before getting myself out of range out of the scorpion’s attacks.

“I got the weapons!”

Junky heard me, but couldn’t let go.  “Take one of those guns and shoot the damn thing now!”

Of course, with his mouth full, all that came out was nonsense.

Thinking fast, I picked up the old pony’s double-barreled shotgun; definitely in better condition than the one we found earlier.

Wielding the heavy thing using my right wing, I aimed it at the scorpion just as it was able to throw my friend aside.

He hit the desert ground with a heavy thud.

“Junky!”  I shouted before fixing my grip with my flight feathers.  I felt my wingtip wrap around the trigger.  I squeezed the trigger, the shotgun went off and I hit the scorpion’s tail.

The creature shrieked in pain as its stinger had been blown off.

Good shot, but the damn thing was still alive.

I went back into the pony’s sack.  Whoa!  What was an old pony like him doing with something like this?  I stuck my face in then pulled out a buckball grenade.

It was a grenade made out of a hollowed-out buckball.

I didn’t think what I had to do next, I just did it.  Yanking the pin, I tossed the grenade in the air, then swiftly bucked it with my back hooves.

It went sailing.

Thankfully, the scorpion had chosen that exact moment to roar at me.  The grenade went into its mouth, it swallowed.

Next thing I knew, the scorpion exploded in a gory shower of slimy bug guts.

Both me and Junky were splattered in scorpion entrails.

With danger averted, and a whole sack of weapons acquired, I ran over to my friend who was just pulling himself up.  He wiped bug goo off of his face, “That was fucked up, but thank Celestia, ya did somethin’ productive for a change, Freaky!”

I blushed from my friend’s praise, “Aw...  I was just thinking on the fly, anypony coulda done what I did.”

He rolled onto his hooves but didn’t stand quite yet, “Maybe they could have, but they didn’t, you did and that’s somethin’ to be proud of!”

I helped my friend up, then cringed as I saw the scrapes along his right side, “Yeesh, that scorpion put a dent in ya.”

He touched his wound and had to bite back on the pain, “Aah!  Yeah, that’s gonna sting.”

I led him away, as I noticed he was also limping, again on the side that had hit the ground, “Damn... He hurt you bad.”

He winced, “Yeah...”  He tried to keep pressure off of his injured hoof.

I eventually had to lean against him, “Come on... We gotta sit you down somewhere so I can bandage you up.”

He groaned, “Thanks, Freaky.”

...

It had taken me half an hour and nearly half of the medical supplies in Junky’s saddlebag to sterilize then bandage his scrapes.  I wasn’t trained enough to deal with an injured hoof, though.  The most I could do was tie it up in a splint.  Thankfully, there was plenty of chitin laying about, courtesy of all the dead scorpions in the area.  I figured the stuff was hard and rigid enough to hold his injury, along with the proper bandaging of course.

After that, we checked again our new cache we’d been rewarded for avenging that old pony’s death.

I nodded as a weak smile crossed my face, “Yeah... Things are sure to get easier now...”

Eventually, we both decided it was time to move on.  I elected to carry our new weapons cache so Junky wouldn’t have needless extra weight aggravating his hoof.  He still had to lean on me so he didn’t fall.  We took the old pony’s bag of... bottlecaps?  Whatever...  Only thing we couldn’t take was his minigun.

That had been completely wrecked when the scorpion threw his corpse.  We still scavenged some parts in case we would need them later.

When it was time to go, I faltered.  I still had one more thing I needed to do.

I scanned the old pony’s body with my Pipbuck.

In an instant, I had his information: Kuchen Torte, Earth Pony, 69 years old, Level 30, Current Status: Deceased, Descendant of the Pie family.

With that done, I tugged on the old pony’s stetson which now lay on my head, “Come on, Junky, let’s go...”