Resurgence

Chapters

Lingering
Chaos
Balance
Religion
Chaos Magic
Day-To-Day
In Our Town
The Dilemma of Starlight Glimmer
Luna Doesn't Handle It Well
Day One
Father of Two
Precious
Don't Tempt Me, Starlight
In Place of a Chaos Lord
In the Fires
Taunting
Lots of Books in the Library
Wishes
Final Notes
Into the Unknown
Family
Complications
Hearth's Warming

Lingering

Stupid. So freaking stupid. Yeah, Antares, just tell her that you were in a land of magical talking ponies and all the rest of that stuff. That'll go over really well! Yes sir, there's no way that will come back to bite me. Now she totally thinks I'm loony.

I sighed and sat down on my bed, glancing over at my computer that had changed to the screensaver. I thought about returning to the episode, but what was the point? Kristen already thought it was weird enough without her coming back in to see me watching it again.

At the same time, I did still want to hear my wife's voice again.

I suppose that I stared at the computer too long, because I heard a knock on my door, breaking me out of my thoughts and making me jump a little bit. I quickly stood up and backed away from the door, hoping that Kristen hadn't come back to call me a loon.

"Y-yeah?"

"Dinner's ready, TD," my mom's voice said on the other side of the door.

Oh, yeah, right. They were making dinner, too.

"Alright, I'll be right there."

I opened up the door and my mom stepped aside to let me pass her. I nodded and walked down the stairs with my mother following closely behind, almost as if she was afraid that if she didn't keep a watch on me at all times I'd disappear again. I highly doubted it. I also hated the idea of me disappearing again. As much as it sucked to say, I had to. I had to leave my parents and sister behind again. I didn't belong here anymore. I wished that I did. I wished that I didn't have to hurt my family anymore. If I'd stayed missing then they could eventually move on. The sting would fade away as they accepted that I wasn't coming back. Here, though, all of that pain had to return for them, which would only double when I went back to Equestria.

I made it to the dining room table where my father and Kristen already sat. I sat at what used to be my usual spot and looked out at the presented food. Chicken, corn and mashed potatoes. Normally I'd be happy to see that in front of me, and that wasn't just because I was starving. It was a good, home cooked meal that I hadn't really had in years. My palace chefs were the best of the best, but it didn't completely compare to something like this. It made me feel like I was actually home again.

"Alright, you can dig in," Mom said as she sat down at her usual spot. "TD, you can have the big piece of chicken if you want."

Ah, yes, the big piece of chicken. Boy did that bring back memories. Back when I was growing up, whenever we had chicken or fish or something like that, there'd always be one piece that was a little bigger than all the rest. Not by design, but when you put five pieces of chicken on a plate then one's gonna be bigger. Usually my dad was the one who got it, but every now and again someone else would be allowed to eat it. Given the situation, it didn't surprise me that Mom offered. I gave her a small smile and speared the chicken on my fork to move it onto my plate. Everyone else seemed to take that as a sign to dig in.

I glanced over at Kristen as she scooped corn onto her plate. She just stared at the table, obviously not trying to make eye contact with me. I grimaced and looked down to my own food. It would come up again. I just didn't know when. Best not think about that right then, though. Kristen I could handle, but if my parents some how found out... I didn't want that. It'd just hurt them.

I cut off a piece of chicken and put it in my mouth. Perfectly seasoned and cooked, just like always. I turned to my mother, motioned to the chicken, smiled and nodded. She returned my smile. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had actual meat. My chefs had gotten good at imitation meat that tasted almost exactly like the real thing, but "almost" was the key word. I could have probably gotten real meat if I'd really wanted to, but that tended to be on the expensive side, and that's not even counting the fact that my subjects probably wouldn't like the idea of a carnivorous ruler.

Maybe once I got back to Equestria I could change my views on that. Ara and Veritas were omnivorous, and there was a chance that Nymeria would be too. Hopefully we wouldn't find that out because we found her eating a changeling, though.

"So..." My father cleared his throat as he tried to break the incredibly awkward silence. "How are you, TD? Is... everything good with your room?"

"Yeah. I'm good." My gaze flicked back to Kristen whose eyes had narrowed ever so slightly. Not good. Mom must have noticed her not talking, if the frown on her face was any indication.

"Kristen? Are you okay?"

"Peachy," Kristen said through gritted teeth.

Mom put her fork down and steepled her fingers as she gave Kristen "that look." You know, the "I know you're lying to me, what's going on" look.

"You never could lie to me. What's on your mind?"

Kristen's gaze flicked up to me. "Nothing. I'm just tired from today. Lots of emotions. I'm feeling kind of drained."

"I guess that makes sense," Dad said, returning to his potatoes.

"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine, but I don't like you saying that nothing's bothering you when something clearly is."

"It's just..." Kristen raised her head and made eye contact with me for the first time. "Don't worry about it. TD and I are fine. Just fine. Peachy. Great. Amazing."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dad asked.

"Do I ever," Kristen growled under her breath. My eyes narrowed and I shook my head in a "don't you dare" kind of way. "TD and I just had a little talk, that's all."

"What kind of talk?" Mom asked, looking to the two of us. "Did he tell you where he's been?"

Don't you dare, Kristen. Don't you freaking dare. I tightened my grip on my fork and, to my vague surprise, I felt anger rising in me. If Mom and Dad were going to find out about what happened, this was not the right time, place, or way. As I stared at Kristen, I felt a slight twinge of pain in the places I'd been hit with the Nightmare Weapons.

"Yeah," she said, returning her glare to me. "He knows where he's been."

"What?!" Mom's eyes widened. "Where?"

"Now is not the time," I growled. I grunted as the pain from my scars started getting worse, but I didn't focus on that. Only on what was about to happen.

"TD, I already said that we'd believe whatever you told us," Dad said, putting his silverware down and fully focusing on the two of us. "We won't think you're crazy. Just tell us."

"I know it was a lot to put on you, Kristen. I understand that. We need to talk about this later."

"Oh, yeah, later. It's always going to be later, isn't it? If I hadn't walked in on you watching the show, when would you have told me? I'm guessing never. You would have just left again without caring how we would feel."

"Kristen, TD doesn't want to leave again," Mom insisted. "TD's right: we can talk about this later. We'll listen when he's ready to tell us."

"Yeah, okay, but what show were you watching, TD?" Dad asked. "I'm just curious."

"He was..."

I shot to my feet, the pain in my scars rising. That was unimportant compared to what Kristen was about to do. "Don't you dare. I'm giving you one warning."

"Oh yeah?" Kristen retorted, shooting to her feet as well. "Or what? I know I'm not taking this well, but how on Earth would I?!"

"You're upset, I get that. You don't know how to feel, but I need this to not come out sideways, alright?" I growled. "Just take it easy."

"Or what?" Kristen growled. "They know something is up now. Just tell them. Or should I?"

"Don't. Don't do that to me."

"What is going on?" Dad cried, standing up himself. "Can you both just calm down so we can talk about this like adults?"

Kristen didn't respond to that. All she did was glare at me. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, she turned to Mom and Dad.

"He was--"

"I said don't you dare!"

I slapped my hand on the table as hard as I could. Just as I did, the pain in my shoulder in chest exploded to the point where I couldn't even stand up. I tried to grab the table to prevent myself from falling to the floor, but I didn't reach out in time. I hit the floor hard, but I didn't even register that pain. I could only grasp at my chest and shoulder while trying to get over pain so bad I could barely see. I started gasping for breath almost like a fish out of water. I heard my family rush over to help me, but they couldn't.

"I think we need to call the hospital again," Dad said, pulling out his phone. I weakly looked up at him as he unlocked the screen. He noticed and smiled down at me comfortingly. "Just hold on, TD. We're going to get you some help."

"No, I'm fine," I croaked. "It doesn't hurt as much anymore." I took a few deep breaths and managed to get into a sitting position, leaning my back against the wall. "You don't need to call anyone."

"Are you sure?" Mom asked. "Do you know what caused that pain?"

"You were grabbing your chest and shoulder," Kristen pointed out. "Don't you have the scars there?"

"I'm fine. Just..." I slowly stood up and grabbed the back of my chair for balance. "Let's finish eating and we can..."

My eyes widened when I saw it. On the table, right where I'd slapped, was an outline of my hand. The edges were smoking, like the imprint had been burned onto the table. I slowly looked down at my hand, but it looked normal. The rest of my family noticed the indent, and they seemed to be about as shocked as me.

"Whoa, dude..." Kristen reached out and touched the imprint before quickly retracting it, hissing in pain. "How the heck did you do that?"

"I... I..." I began backing away. "I just... I need some time alone." I got up as quickly as I could and tried to make my way to my room. Unfortunately, my mother blocked my path.

"TD, please, just talk to us. At least let us help you with the pain. We can--"

"Later." I pushed past her. "I'm sorry. I'm just not ready." I turned back to Kristen and glared at her. At least she had the sense to look embarrassed. "You wouldn't handle it right now if Kristen is any indication."

Without another word I rushed up to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me. My scars didn't hurt as much anymore, so that was an obvious plus. I took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through my hair.

"Did I just do magic?" I whispered to myself. "I think I just did magic."

If I had, that left me with a sliver of hope. Maybe my remaining magic is what showed up on the odd blood test my doctor had told me about. That still left a dozen questions, though. Could I control it without a horn? Could I activate it at will? Was I as powerful now as when I was still an alicorn? That wasn't just me hitting the table hard. I burned an outline of my hand into the table. I couldn't think of any other explanation as to what that was.

I grimaced and focused on my hand, trying to channel energy into it. Come on. Just one little spark. I could work with that. I'd already learned magic in a foreign body once. I could do it again if I still had the ability. I gritted my teeth as I increased my focus. Just one little spark. Or anything, really. Just something to let me know that I still had the ability to cast spells. I just had to learn how in this body.

My concentration was broken when I heard a knock on the door. I growled and rubbed my temples. "Can you please just give me two freaking minutes?!"

"TD..." I heard Kristen's voice on the other side of the door. "Just talk to me. I'm sorry I got upset and almost told Mom and Dad. I just... I didn't know what to feel."

"I got that part, thanks."

"You burned your hand into the table, dude. I... I think I might believe you a bit more now. That's not normal."

"Sure isn't. Now can you leave me to figure stuff out?"

"TD--"

"Please leave me alone! I need to concentrate!"

Kristen sighed. "Yeah, okay, that's fair, I guess. I'm here, though. You know that, right?"

"Because that went great last time." I grunted in pain as my wounds flared up a bit again. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I get it."

With that settled, I went back to concentrating. I didn't know if I'd shot energy or fire out when I'd lost my temper. I wondered if that was the only way I could cast spells: losing my temper. Or could I cast with any extreme emotion? I growled and began rubbing my shoulder, trying to ease some of the pain. That seemed to be the worst when I'd gotten upset, so it might not be a good idea to get overly angry. Frankly the only thing in my life that hurt worse than my scars after losing my temper had been actually being wounded by the Nightmare Weapons.

Maybe I just needed to concentrate. I knew mentally how to cast spells. I had the mechanics of it down completely. Granted, that was with the addition of a horn, which was specifically designed to channel magic. But pegasi and earth ponies didn't have horns, and they could still use their innate magic. Did I still have innate magic?

This was too freaking complicated.

But I had to do it. If this was my way home, I couldn't rest until I'd figured it out. I took a few deep breaths and sat down on my bed. My eyes landed on a pencil sitting on my desk, and I remembered my first levitation lesson with Luna. At the risk of looking like a Jedi, I closed my eyes and reached out with my mind, trying to levitate the pencil over to me. After a few moments of that, I cracked one eye open and looked to the pencil. It hadn't moved. I closed my eyes and tried again. Nothing. I cursed and laid down on my bed.

I just needed to think it through. Discord couldn't keep me here forever. I would get back home, and when I did I'd kill him. Not encase him in stone again, not wound him a little until he begged for mercy, I'd straight up obliterate him. I'd do my best to erase even the memory of him once that happened. Remove the stained glass window, strike every mention of him from history books, and even take the pedestal his statue stood on down. After a hundred years or so it'd be like he never even existed at all.

Now that I'd calmed down more, I began to realize just how tired I really was. The last time I'd slept, my wife was beside me and my daughter laid not too far away. Whatever had just happened at the dinner table, it would probably be easier for me to make sense of things if I wasn't tired. I crawled under my covers and closed my eyes. I couldn't say that everything would be better in the morning, but it would at least mean the end of today.

* * * *

The sun was up by the time I awoke. With no watch or clock I had to turn my computer on to see the time. Ten in the morning. I nodded and sat down on my bed. Time to get back to it. Just think it through, Antares. You can do it if you just think it through. I reached my hand back out to levitate the pencil over to me. I needed to feel the energy around me and manipulate it to my will.

It wasn't freaking working.

I grumbled some non-family friendly things to myself and rubbed my temples. Last night couldn't have been a fluke. I still had magic in me. I had to have some. Otherwise how did I burn my hand into the table? I had to hope that anger wasn't the only thing that triggered it, because with that came terrible pain. If I could cast spells just by being angry, I couldn't be accurate with them if I was also in so much pain I could barely see.

"Just one," I whispered. "Just let me cast one spell. Levitation is fine. Anything as long as I can control it." I closed my eyes and focused on the pencil again. I reached out my hand, hoping beyond hope that I'd feel it hit my hand, allowing me to catch it. I cracked one eye open and my heart soared. The pencil was moving toward me. It was barely noticeable, to the point where one would have a hard time seeing it if they weren't looking, but it started moving. I pumped my fist into the air, ignoring the small amount of pain in my scars. I'd be able to cast spells without the pain. I was certain of that.

For the moment, though, I needed to eat. I didn't exactly finish dinner the night before. I'd need my strength if I was going to cast spells. A hungry Antares is an Antares who isn't functioning at one hundred percent. I put my hand down and walked out of my room. I didn't hear any noises around the house, which felt odd to me. I highly doubted that Mom or Dad would be at work the day after I was found. Same with Kristen. Maybe not Kristen. She might be upset enough that she went to work just to get away from it all for a little while and clear her head. I couldn't exactly blame her.

As I went to the kitchen, I spotted the imprint I'd left on the table. I grimaced and touched it with the tip of my finger. It had cooled off considerably since the night before. Seemed I'd kind of ruined the table a little bit. There was no way they could repair that. Thank goodness the table wasn't some antique.

I tried to push the imprint out of my mind as I made my way into the kitchen. I flinched back when I saw my Mom making breakfast. She must have heard me because she turned around and gave me a tired smile.

"Good morning, TD. How are you doing?" I shrugged. "Yeah, I'll bet. You want me to make you some breakfast?" She motioned to the stove. "I have some scrambled eggs going. I can put some cheese on them if you'd like."

"Uh... yeah, I guess that sounds good." My mom went over to the fridge and pulled out a few more eggs and the cheese as I sat at the kitchen counter. Neither of us spoke for a few moments, the only sound being the eggs cooking on the stove.

I hate awkward silences like that.

"So, uh... how are you doing?"

My mom gave me a small smile. "I'm doing better. Last night was kind of rough."

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

Mom's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No! Don't be! We're all reeling from everything that happened yesterday, and of course we'll all be stressed out. I'm curious what you told Kristen, of course, but you'll tell me when you're ready. I'm just glad to hear that you know where you were and that you're okay."

"But all of your questions are burning you a little bit," I guessed.

"Of course. There are a million of them. I'd be open to hearing any answers you gave." Mom turned back around and started focusing on the eggs again. "I want to ask. I really do. Of course I don't really have something to compare this to, so I wouldn't even know where to start. But I also know that your emotional state is more important right now. I can't imagine what you've gone through in the last five years. It hurt us when you disappeared of course, but I know that it really hurt you too."

"Yeah, it did," I admitted. "For years I wanted nothing more than to come back. I thought about it every day. Part of me hates to say it, but it got to a point where I had to stop focusing on that. Things happened that I had to focus on and deal with."

"You adapted to your situation," Mom said simply. "I don't blame you for that. Most people would do the same thing."

"Yeah, I guess."

"No guessing about it. You did what you needed to." Mom opened up the kitchen cabinet and took out two plates before portioning the eggs and cheese onto the plates. She took two forks out of the silverware drawer and put one of them and the plate in front of me. "Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Milk? Juice?"

"Nah, I'm fine for now. Thanks, though." I took a bite out of the eggs before speaking again. "Where are Dad and Kristen?"

"Dad's downstairs working on the computer. Kristen had to go to work."

"Yeah, where does she work?"

"A dive shop, actually. She's saving up to go to Seattle and get her certification in salvage diving."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Really? Huh, that's kind of neat."

"Yeah she's worked very hard." Mom sat down next to me and ate a bit of her eggs. "Although I've had to discourage her from having an octopus as a pet."

I snorted at that. "A dog's not good enough for her?"

"No, I suppose not."

"She's a bit of an oddball."

"True." Mom and I continued eating our eggs in silence for a few moments before she spoke again. "I think your disappearance hit her the hardest. Your dad and I were beside ourselves with grief, of course, but it seemed to... break her a little bit. I know she's confused right now, but do believe that she's very, very happy to have you back."

"Yeah."

Great, thanks Mom. Good to know that she's going to be emotionally devastated when I have to leave again. I didn't want to do that to her, but unfortunately my duty to my subjects came first.

We finished our eggs in silence. Once I emptied my plate, I put the dishes in the sink and quickly washed them. "So, uh, I think I might go back to sleep. I might have woken up too early."

"That's fine." Mom walked over and put her empty dishes in the sink. "Let me know when you want lunch. I can make you something, or I could heat up your leftovers from last night."

"We'll see." I wrapped my arms around my mother for a tight hug. "It is good to see you again. Whatever else happened, please know that."

"I do know that, TD," Mom said, returning the hug. "We're happy to see you too."

"I know." I broke away from the hug. "When I wake up again, I might do some surfing around the web. You know, check to see what I missed in the last five years."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Mom said with a smile. "If you want, maybe tonight we could watch Episode seven. I think you'll like it."

"You know, that actually sounds okay."

"Good. You sleep well, TD, and we'll talk some more later."

* * * *

The next week passed by much like the second day had. I didn't see Kristen much outside of meals, but I expected that. Mom and Dad tried to make her come out of her room for family nights, but she didn't go for it. I knew she felt happy to see me again, but that was tempered a little bit by the knowledge that I'd leave again if I could. Yeah, that had to hurt, especially since she was so devastated the last time. Besides that, I practiced my magic whenever I could. By the third day I could move the pencil over to me. It fell to the floor whenever it reached the edge of the desk, but it encouraged me.

Although at that rate, it'd take me years before I could get back to my former power. Who knew what Discord would do in that time? Maybe he'd already been stopped by the Elements and my family had started looking for me. Of course, according to Celestia, finding my world at all had been a coincidence or a fluke or whatever you wanted to call it. It would take a ton of luck to find me.

Of course, given that the multiverse theory seemed to be true, they might look for me and find an Antares with my exact experiences and personality, but he didn't like pickles, or something. That would be awful for me, since it would mean being stuck forever.

At the end of the week, I'd finally managed to levitate the pencil over to me completely. No blue magical aura, though, which disappointed me. That disappointment didn't hurt as much with the knowledge that I had started improving with my magic. My scars still hurt whenever I tried using it, but nowhere near the pain levels I'd felt during my angry spells.

The night after I'd just about mastered levitation, my family and I sat around the dinner table eating dinner. Kristen had opened up a little more, thankfully, and we all seemed to be a little happier.

"--So then this guy who barely speaks English comes into the shop. I, not being bilingual, can't understand a thing he was saying." Kristen smirked and paused her story to take a bite out of her baked potato. "So I'm trying to get my manager who does speak a little Spanish, but he's not letting me get into the back. He's just pointing at the scuba masks and saying something or other."

I snort and shake my head. "And that made for a really good day, I'll bet."

"Yeah. So after ten minutes of this, I'm getting a little frustrated. I--"

I chose that moment to reach out towards the salt shaker. Out of pure instinct, instead of just grabbing it I levitated it over to me. And yeah, despite Kristen's story, everyone else saw that. I quickly dropped the shaker and made a point of looking down at the table, though I could imagine how shocked they all must have looked.

"Um... yeah. Never mind," I muttered. "You were saying, Kristen?"

"Uh, no, you don't get to pretend like that didn't just happen." I glanced up at Kristen who was looking at me as though I'd done a backflip. "How did you do that? Is this like when you burned your hand into the table?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"As much as I'd love to give you some space on this, I'm really not sure I can anymore," Dad said. "You just levitated the salt shaker over to you. We can't really ignore that."

"Yeah, well, I'd really rather you did. It's like you all said: I should talk about it when I'm ready." I stood up from the table. "I'm not hungry anymore. I'll be in my room."

"TD, please just talk to us," Mom pleaded. "You don't have to give us the whole story, you just--"

"Not comfortable talking about it right now." I glared at Kristen. "And I'm standing by my stance that I don't want you talking to them about it."

"Yeah, I'm, done being silent for you, TD," Kristen retorted. "We want to help you! I totally believe what you told me, and after that little display, I'm positive Mom and Dad will too."

It was at that moment that someone chose to ring the doorbell. Repeatedly. Dad glared at the door and stomped over to it. "I'll handle this."

He reached the door and threw it open, revealing a man in a black suit and matching hat. He grinned at my father in a way that looked... oddly familiar.

"Sorry, but the sign says 'no solicitors'," Dad growled. "If you'll excuse us..."

"Oh, I'm not a solicitor, Mr. Powell. I'm here to talk to..." He leaned to the right so he could see into the house, then pointed at me. "Your son."

"We're not talking with the press either," Dad insisted. "If you could please leave us alone."

"Oh I'm not the press either, I can assure you."

My eyes narrowed, then widened when I realized who stood on the other side of the doorway. I took a deep breath then walked into the entryway.

"Dad, let him in. We do need to talk."

Dad frowned at me, but must have decided that I knew what I was doing. He stepped aside, allowing our guest entry into our house.

"TD, who is this person?" Dad asked as Mom and Kristen came up behind me.

"Uh..." I sighed and began rubbing my temples. "Mom, Dad, Kristen..." I motioned to the man. "This is Death."

You could have heard a pin drop after that. I had no doubt that my family was looking at me like I'd just grown a second head. After a few moments of total silence, Mom cleared her throat.

"Death. Is that some kind of nickname?"

"I'm afraid not, Mrs. Powell." Death walked over to the entryway table and waved his hand over a plant sitting there. The plant instantly wilted away. "So, Prince Antares..." He turned his attention to me. "We've been looking for you. Thank you for using your magic. It made locating you so much simpler."

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Chaos

Yeah, of all the ways I could get back to Equestria, Death showing up on my family's doorstep wasn't even one that crossed my mind. Dad and Kristen were looking at him like he'd lost his mind, and Mom was alternating looks between me, Death, and the dead plant. I uneasily cleared my throat and rubbed my neck.

"I, uh, guess you have a lot of questions."

"A few, yeah," Dad admitted. "Please tell me that was some magic trick and death himself isn't actually standing in my house."

"As I said, I'm afraid that this is all very real," Death said, reaching out to pat my dad on the shoulder. He flinched back, which made Death chuckle a bit. "I am sorry. Smart move on your part, though. I wasn't going to do anything, but no harm in being careful."

"Right. Another question." Kristen crossed her arms and frowned and Death. "Who the heck is Prince Antares?"

Death motioned to me. "Why, your brother, of course. Hasn't he told you where he's been and what he's been doing?"

"Yeah." Kristen's frown turned into a glower. "Didn't say he knew Death, though."

"Oh, it's more of a casual acquaintance," Death said with a wave of his hand. "We talked once after his chest wound from that arrow."

Mom's eyes widened. "You almost died?" she cried.

"Yeah, pretty close," I admitted. "Few more minutes without help and... yeah."

Mom sighed and put her hand to her forehead as she leaned against the entryway desk. "I..." She shook her head before looking to Kristen. "Where was he?"

"He was..." Kristen looked over to me. I sighed and nodded. "He was in the My Little Pony world. As like one of the rulers there. Got married and had a couple of kids, too."

If the silence was awkward before, it didn't hold a candle to what happened after that little declaration. Mom and Dad could only stare at me, while Death gave me a slightly amused look. I groaned and rubbed my temples.

"It's a long story."

"But it's true," Dad said.

"Yeah." I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's true."

"An ancient being called Discord returned him to your world, or, ah, rather what you perceive as your world. I won't go into a lot of details, but suffice it to say, your son was never actually meant for this world. His place was always elsewhere."

My eyes narrowed. "So what, I was always supposed to go to Equestria? Then why the heck wasn't I just born there?"

"Look at the unique experiences you brought to the table," Death pointed out. "You shook things up quite a lot. Plus you ended that war in six months rather than the years it would have taken otherwise. And now..." Death grinned and rubbed his hands together. "It's time for you to return to that."

"Now wait a minute..." Dad stepped in front of me as if shielding me from Death. "He's not going anywhere! We just got him back into our lives and now you want to take him away from us?" Dad scoffed. "Don't think so, buddy."

"Hit him, Dad," I said, a small smirk on my face. "Show that it's genetic."

"What's genetic?" Mom asked.

I shook my head with a small chuckle. "Don't worry about it." My expression turned serious. "But, Mom, Dad, Kristen..." I stepped out from behind Dad. "I do have to go."

"No!" Mom cried, grabbing my hand. "You belong here with us! We can't lose you again!"

"I'm afraid that he doesn't belong here," Death insisted. "Back in Equestria he has millions of subjects to watch over and provide for, on top of his wife and two children. What would he do here that's more important than that?"

"He'd be here with us!" Kristen retorted. "I just..." Now Kristen put herself between Death and I. "He's not going to disappear on me again! I just can't!"

"I know this must come as a shock to you, but--"

With all of the "quiet dignity and grace" she could muster, Kristen stomped up to Death himself and punched him in the face.

Huh. I guess it does run in the family.

Rather than be annoyed in the least bit, Death chuckled and rubbed the spot Kristen had hit. "You know? I think I like you. Nobody has ever done that before."

"You'll get another one if you don't get the hell out of here!" Kristen pointed to the door. "You're not taking him anywhere!"

Man, we weren't getting anywhere with this. I sighed and walked up to Kristen, gently putting my hand on her shoulder. "Kristen... I actually have to go."

"No you don't!" Kristen spun around to face me, and my stomach tightened up when I saw tears brimming in her eyes. "You're gonna stay here and... and... and be happy and we'll all forget that you even disappeared in the first place!"

"We can't have this happen again," Mom whispered. "Please listen to your sister."

"I am listening to her. I just think she's wrong." I turned back to Mom and smiled. "It wouldn't be so bad, right? You'd actually know where I was this time. You'd know I was doing well and happy with my wife and children."

"Oh, yeah, getting into wars and getting hurt. It sounds like your life is a total paradise!" Kristen retorted.

"I didn't say it was easy, but it's necessary!" I insisted. "I have responsibilities there. I have millions of subjects to watch over." I grimaced and extended a hand to Kristen. "I can't just abandon them. You should have seen what happened to the nation when I got shot. The whole country came together. Now if I leave forever?" I shook my head. "I just can't. You wouldn't in my position either."

"I wouldn't go off and try to rule a country either!" Kristen growled, backing away from my extended hand.

"I didn't choose it. It happened to me."

"Yes you did. You absolutely chose it. You could have told them all to buzz off, but you didn't. You had to play the hero." Kristen crossed her arms. "Or would you have died a painful death if you hadn't?"

Mom and Dad, for their part, were alternating helpless looks between the two of us. I couldn't begin to guess what they were thinking, or even whose side they were on. Maybe they were just on emotional overload. After all, Death himself had just walked into their house and forced us to confront the fact that I was a pony god ruling over a country in another dimension. I think Kristen's anger was partially confusion and helplessness rather than actual rage.

"It doesn't matter what I chose. What matters is that it happened," I replied. "And now I have to go back. My people are suffering without me, and I need to help them." I backed away and stood next to Death. "I'm sorry. This is how it has to be." I tried the comforting smile again. "I'll be fine."

"Well, it's going to be interesting whatever happens," Death agreed. "So, if you want to say your goodbyes, Prince Antares has some work to do."

"His name is TD," Kristen growled. "And he's not going anywhere."

"He's made his choice. You'd be cruel to force him to do otherwise. Remember his wife and children." Death gave an amused scoff. "And I don't think his name is TD anymore."

"Don't give me that!" Dad retorted. "His name is TD. I don't know where the heck you got this 'Prince Antares' crap, but you don't know what you're talking about!"

"I'm the physical incarnation of death." Death gave my dad a flat look. "How could you possibly know more than I do in any area?"

Okay, this had gone on long enough. I couldn't just stand around while my family argued with Death for hours on end. I stepped into the middle of the room and raised my hands to shoulder level, pointing at each of my family members until they focused on me.

"Guys. I have to do this. Please believe me. What I left... my subjects are suffering under a madman unlike any that this Earth has ever seen. I can stop him. Or at the very least I can try. I can't just sit here while everyone, including my wife and children, are in pain." I looked over to Kristen and stared her dead in the eye. "And you wouldn't either. If you fully grasped everything going on, none of you would want me to just stay here and do nothing."

"Of course we want you to stay, TD!" Mom insisted. "We can't lose you again!"

I walked up to my mother and hugged her tight. She returned the hug with equal vigor, and after a few moments, I had to gently push her away before she'd let go. I didn't want this to be any more difficult than it had to be. I needed to leave as soon as possible, both because time was of the essence with Discord, and the longer I stayed, the harder it would be for them when I left.

"I don't know what's going to happen," I admitted. "I promise you, though, I will try to find some way to see you again. I don't want this to be the last time any more than you do." I sighed and turned to Death. "So do you open a portal, or what?"

"Actually yes." With one wave of his hand, a glowing portal replaced our front door. He stepped aside and bowed to me. "After you, Your Highness."

"Don't you dare, TD," Kristen growled. "Tell this guy to go to Hell and we can forget about all of this!"

"I can't." I turned to give Kristen one last look. "I can't leave my wife and children to whatever fate Discord has in store for them. I already have to hope that I'm not too late."

With that, I stepped through the portal. The world went white for a moment, almost reminding me of the area I'd gone to after being hit by the Elements. It became so bright that I couldn't even see. However, it only lasted for a moment. When the light died down, I felt different. The air around me seemed unlike anything that I'd been exposed to on Earth, yet it remained familiar to me. I opened my eyes and looked down. My heart leaped at the sight. I'd returned to my alicorn form. I let out a single, relieved laugh before turning back to the portal. I could still see the inside of my house. My parents and sister were looking at me with looks of shock on their faces that would have been comical under different circumstances. I gave them a comforting smile and a wave.

Heh, guess they believed me, then. Hopefully that would help them move on a little bit. At least it would help to know that I had told them the truth the entire time. I didn't know what would happen on their end, but whatever else, they'd hopefully know that I'd be alright.

I saw Death pat Kristen on the shoulder before he tipped his hat to my parents. With that, he stepped through the portal himself. Kristen began moving forward, but I turned away when Death came up beside me in his pony form once again.

"So, you're back," he said, waving his hoof to cancel out the portal.

I took a deep breath and smiled. "Yeah, I'm back. Where I belong." I raised an eyebrow at Death. "So if he tries this again, are you just going to keep coming to get me?"

"Oh, he won't try this again," Death replied. "I may not know everything that's going to happen in the future, but I know enough to make some, shall we say, educated guesses."

Before I could respond, a voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts. One I never thought I'd hear again.

"Uh, TD? I think I have a tail."

My eyes widened and I wheeled around to see, to my utter shock, Kristen. She sat right where the portal had been, staring down at her new body. She had a green coat with straight blue hair that went down just past her shoulders. It looked like her hairstyle back on Earth. To cap it all off, a pair of wings were neatly folded at her side. My jaw dropped and I gingerly walked up to her.

"Kristen... what did you do?"

"I came through the portal to get your sorry behind back where you belong," Kristen grumbled, shakily trying to stand on all fours for the first time.

"I argue that I'm the one who did that," Death pointed out.

"Oh screw you," Kristen snarled. She took a few seconds to steady herself, then pointed at me, her legs wobbling a little bit. "You need to get him back to Earth!"

"I am not a taxi service," Death said flatly. "If this wasn't so important, I probably would have let him stay, to be honest, but, well, the powers-that-be want him back, and I frankly do, too." Death snorted and shook his head. "You should have heard the sheer volume of prayers that went up when his subjects realized he'd vanished."

"I don't care about that! I just..." Kristen's ear twitched, and her wings fluttered a little bit. She turned to look at her wings and frowned. "Are they supposed to do that?"

I angrily groaned and turned to Death myself. "Take her back. She doesn't belong here."

"I believe I already informed you that I am not a taxi service. She chose to come through the portal." Death gave her a vaguely amused smile. "Which, I must admit, even I didn't see coming. Your sister might be even more amusing than you."

"If you don't--"

"I'm done discussing this. If you wish to return her, you'll have to do it yourself." Death gave me a Cheshire Cat-like grin and motioned to the area around us. "After, of course, you solve your more pressing issue."

For the first time since arriving back home, I looked around to see what that was. My heart broke when I saw exactly what Discord had been doing in my absence. The entire landscape had become some twisted checkerboard madness with each of the squares changing colors at a moment's notice. He'd turned the sky into a comically pink mess with splotches of orange that I could only assume were supposed to be clouds. All of the trees around us looked largely the same, except all of the branches had been oversized, with gigantic "apples" that pulsated like alien eggs. I couldn't see any buildings, but I did see a lake that changed from water, ice, orange juice, and cola over and over again. In the distance clouds poured chocolate milk all over the area.

It didn't look much like home.

"Where are we?" I asked quietly.

"In one of the areas between Ponyville and Canterlot. Normally you'd be able to see Canterlot from here, but the mountain kind of stood up and walked away."

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Who knew what had happened to my family if that was the case. My scars started twinging again.

"So what n--" I turned to look at Death, but he had already vanished. I growled and rubbed my temples. At least he'd gotten me back home.

"So, uh..." Kristen gently cleared her throat and walked up to me. "You can fix this, right? He brought you here so you could."

"Oh, now you're okay with me being here?" I growled turning on her. "Before that it was just what you all wanted. You had to see it to believe that maybe, just maybe I knew what I was doing?"

"Well excuse me for not believing that you were some pony god right away," Kristen snapped, her wings flaring out. "Some weird guy claiming to be Death shows up on our front porch wanting to take you away again after five years of not knowing where the heck you were and you're just happy to go with him like we didn't matter at all!"

"Of course you guys mattered! I wanted nothing else but to get back to you for years!" I shot back. I motioned out to the chaotic landscape. "If you knew that we were stuck in this and you were the only one who could stop it, wouldn't you leave, too?"

"Yeah, I guess I would. Like I said: I get it now. I just..." Kristen closed her eyes and sighed. "What was I supposed to think?"

"Apparently you didn't think about Mom and Dad, did you?" I continued. "What are they supposed to feel now? They just lost both of their children right after they finally got me back! They saw me on the other side of the portal! They knew I was telling the truth! Now they're most likely never going to see either of us again!"

"I just..." Kristen growled and stomped on the ground. "I don't know! I wasn't thinking about that, okay? I know it was wrong of me! I couldn't just let you go like that! I... I don't know, okay?!"

"My, my, what a rather unexpected scene."

I whirled around and flared out my wings in an attempt to shield Kristen. I bared my teeth and began lighting my horn for any spell I could think of as Discord lazily floated in front of us, an amused grin on his face.

"What the hell is that?" Kristen whispered.

"I?" Discord straightened up and bowed. "Where are my manners? I am Discord, lord of all chaos and the current ruler of these fine lands and the beings therein. In an attempt to spare your brother from that, I brought him right back to your interesting planet." Discord idly wave his hand. "I'm sure we would have met eventually. I couldn't just stay here forever, now could I?"

"You're not going to torture anyone anymore, Discord!" I roared, shooting a beam of pure energy at him. He lazily turned his body into a coil, allowing the spell to pass right through him.

"I rather doubt that." He floated up until he could get a good look at Kristen. "It's nice to see that you've brought me a new playmate." He grinned and began slithering toward her. "Now what to--"

Since his focus was entirely on Kristen, he didn't notice my next attack spell until it hit him on the shoulder, which, to my eternal frustration, didn't affect him any more than if I'd lightly tapped a balloon. He let out his caw of a laugh and did a midair backflip.

"You're going to have to do better than that!" he crowed.

It was on.

I lit my horn and teleported Kristen so she was behind a nearby tree. I did my best to ignore the steadily rising pain in my scars as I materialized a whip of pure fire, which I cracked menacingly beside me. I shot it out at Discord, but he snapped his claw and turned it into licorice, which, to add insult to injury, he promptly took a big bite out of.

"Ah, delicious."

I spread my wings and flew into the air, materializing a sword made out of sun fire. A spell Celestia had taught me. I swung it at him, but he bisected himself just before the sword hit, meaning I hit nothing but air. I grunted from the increasing levels of pain, but I kept swinging at him. The bastard kept dodging without sending any spells my way.

"What is it that they say about the definition of insanity?" Discord said idly as he dodged another sword strike. "I think it's also the definition of boredom."

"I'll kill you!" I roared. "I'll-- GAH!"

My sword went out and my wings locked up as the pain became unbearable. I gasped for breath as I rubbed the scars, hoping in vain to relieve some of the pain. I hit the ground hard enough that even Discord flinched.

I couldn't breathe. All I could think about was the pain. It had started spreading throughout my body. Even getting hit with the Nightmare Arrow hadn't hurt this much. I started convulsing and gasping for breath, but every movement seemed to make the pain worse. I almost wanted to die then and there. I think I would have accepted it if I didn't need to fight Discord. I had to kill Discord. If the pain kept going after I did that, then I'd be okay with dying. Anything to make the pain go away. I tried for one of the healing spells I knew, but ultimately it wouldn't do anything. It only made the pain travel up into my horn. Just as it reached the tip, black and green lighting shot out of my horn, and the pain... faded. I wouldn't say it went away, but I started not to care so much about how much it hurt. I actually managed to get back on my hooves and look up at Discord.

Fear. I saw fear in his eyes when I looked at him. He'd already started to back away.

"Antares, listen to me. You don't--"

"Oh, I do." I grinned and channeled the pain back into my horn. "I really do."

With an inequine shriek, I recreated my fire whip out of the black and green fire. I shot it out and wrapped it around Discord's throat before he could react. He snapped his fingers, no doubt trying to escape, but nothing happened. I have to admit, it felt amazing to see that. I let out a low, guttural laugh and began reeling him in like a fish.

"Scared?" I began charging up my horn again. "You should be."

"Antares, this is black magic you're dealing with!" Discord cried, clawing at the whip around his neck. "Celestia--"

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK HER NAME!" I roared, shooting a beam of black energy at him that collided with his head. He went completely limp, almost as if I'd hit him with a bullet. With one more tug of the whip, I dragged him down to the ground and began pounding on him with every single spell I knew. The pain was still there. In fact, it continued to get worse the more spells I hit him with. I could barely see. It hurt so much I couldn't even remember my own name. I still didn't stop. I couldn't. If I let him go, he'd be free to hurt my family again. He'd be free to hurt my subjects again. I couldn't tolerate either of those.

As an act of desperation, Discord snapped his claws and the ground beneath me turned into molasses, which I began slowly sinking into. I snarled and began casting spells at the ground to free myself. Discord used the free moment to try to fly away, but I'd already managed to free two legs from the molasses. I grabbed the whip and tugged him back to earth. He snapped his talons and called up giant rocks from the ground which he threw at me at dizzying speeds. I teleported out of the way, appearing behind him before hitting him in the back with another spell that sent him reeling.

"Antares, you're going down a path from which there may be no return!" Discord cried, calling vines from underneath the ground that he wrapped around me. "You don't know what you're dealing with!"

"I don't really care," I said coldly, severing the vines with a beam of fire. "If I'm a monster, then see what you've created!"

"I suppose it's too late to apologize," Discord said with a sad smile, dodging a beam of black magic I shot at him.

"It's far too late," I growled. "You have no idea what you did to me!"

I took ahold of the whip again and tugged him closer to me. He looped around and shot a jagged rock into my underbelly from the ground. I grunted in pain and took to the air. Best not let him hit me that way again.

Just one more hit. That's all I needed to take care of him forever. Just one more hit. I fired twin beams of energy from my horn, shooting them in different directions. Discord flew back, but the beams curved to meet him. He dodged just at the last second before I annihilated him. With a snap of his claws, the sky above us filled with cotton candy clouds, which he began hurling at me. Whenever any one of them made contact, it stuck to me, and I had to use precious seconds to tear them away. He'd summoned too many for me to simply dodge them all.

I encased myself in a bright blue shield, preventing more of the clouds from hitting me. I couldn't let him keep dodging me, so I did what I should have at the start and tethered the whip to the ground, preventing him from moving away. He conjured up a shield made of mint bark, but I blasted through that with one simple spell. He threw his arms up to shield himself from the shrapnel, and that left me my opening. I shot one of the most powerful spells I knew at him.

It hit him right in the chest. He fell without a sound.

Playing possum, are we?"

I flew down and landed next to him with enough impact to dent the ground beneath me, then continued hitting him with every single combat spell I knew. His body twitched with every blow that landed.

It felt good. Even though I was in pain that would have killed a normal pony, I felt amazing. Powerful. Invincible.

Primal.

I stabbed a black energy spear right into Discord's gut, but he didn't even move. The faker. Playing chicken so I would stop pounding on him. The moment I stopped, he'd get right back up and start hurting ponies again. He'd shove me into another, more terrible dimension and go right back to his old tricks. No more. Never again. He wouldn't hurt my wife. He wouldn't hurt my sister. He wouldn't hurt my children. He wouldn't hurt my subjects. He wouldn't hurt anything ever again.

"ANTARES!" a voice from behind me cried. A familiar voice. One I'd wanted to hear more than any other over the past week.

Celestia.

I felt magic wrap around my barrel and pull me back, stopping my assault on Discord. What the Tartraus?! Didn't Celestia understand that I needed to do this to keep us safe, or had she fallen for his tricks? I canceled out the spell and tried to fly right back to Discord, but she pulled me back.

"Don't interfere, Celestia! I have to do this!"

"Antares, you have already done it! Stop, please!"

"He's faking, Celestia. Don't fall for his lies!" I sent out a shockwave of magic that sent Celestia flying back. "Go home and let me end this!"

"It has ended!" Celestia foolishly insisted. "Please calm yourself!"

"Listen to my sister, Antares," Luna said from my other side. I guess she'd fallen for his tricks, too.

"Luna, stay away from him! He's not well. He could hurt the foal!"

I? I could hurt the foal? I was trying to save the foal by making sure Discord couldn't hurt anypony! Or did Celestia want to give him a third chance? I bared my fangs and lit my horn, calling up a wall of rock that blocked me from view. I canceled out Celestia spell once more then flew back to Discord. Just as I reached him, the rock walls beside me shattered, sending pieces flying everywhere. Despite my better judgement, as I didn't want Discord out of my sight for a moment, giving him time to run away, I wheeled around to face Celestia. I could barely see her through the fog of my pain. I narrowed my eyes and flared out my wings.

"Do not interfere. This is for the good of Equestria. I will not have you stopping me out of some misguided desire to give him another chance!" Celestia lit up her horn for another spell, but I shot out a beam of magic directly at her chest. She gasped and managed to conjure up a shield just in time. I didn't want to attack her, I really didn't, but if I needed to to it to keep her safe then so be it. She'd understand when she saw how much better I'd made things.

A beam of magic slammed into my side, sending my flying. I flapped my wings to catch myself in midair before turning to face Luna. I had to be more careful with her because of the foal, but if I needed to stop her as well I would. I sent out multiple whips of fire which wrapped around her ankles and pinned her to the ground. She lit her horn and the fire evaporated, just as Celestia sent another spell in my direction. I easily dodged it before firing one back at her. She flew above it and shot off another spell just as Luna did, leaving two massively powerful spells from the two most powerful ponies in the world barreling in my direction. I raised a shield to block one, then ducked under the other. The force of Celestia's blast shattered my shield instantly, but it was enough that the spell did no real damage.

Why couldn't they just understand what I needed to do?!

Luna shot off another spell and I dodged it once again, but that meant I was unprepared for Celestia's spell. It hit me right in my side. Compared to the pain I was already in, it barely even tickled. I turned on Celestia, ready to fire off another spell but that left me open to Luna's spell. I roared and charged at her, priming my horn for an even more powerful blast. Another spell from Celestia sent me off course.

I'd make them understand. Once they saw how I'd fixed things, they'd be happy for what I'd done. They'd realize I'd done the right thing in the end. Some people don't deserve more chances.

Just as I turned on Celestia again, she took wing and flew upward. "NOW!" she cried, encasing herself in a shield. I tried to fly up to go after her, but just as I did, I felt a beam of magic more powerful than anything I'd ever experienced hit me right in the back. It encased my entire body, blinding me completely when it reached my eyes. I couldn't call it pain. I had no idea what had started happening. In fact, the pain felt like it had started to drip off of me like some shell that began melting.

After a few moments, the force of everything sent my flying forward. I hit the ground and came to a complete stop. The pain continued melting away, eventually fading to a pain akin to getting a small cut. With one more deep breath, even that faded away, leaving me as... me. The lights faded, and I could see again. The first thing that struck me was that the world had returned to normal. I laid on green grass underneath a clear blue sky. The trees had returned to their natural states, and I could even see Canterlot on its usual mountain in the distance. Normally I'd have managed a small smile with that, but now... I'd never been so tired in my life. I couldn't even raise my head.

Luna and Celestia landed beside me while Twilight and her friends gingerly walked up to me, their Elements around their necks. Fluttershy had started crying, and even the rest of them looked like they had thousand yard stares. I vaguely noticed that Fluttershy still had her scar, and Rainbow and Applejack were still missing their leg and eye, respectively. Huh, guess the Elements couldn’t heal that. I managed to flick my gaze up to Celestia. A pang went through my heart when I saw her teary eyes. I took a deep shaky breath in.

"Oh no," I whispered.

"Antares..." Celestia sat beside me and ran a hoof down my neck. "Are you feeling well?"

"I..." I squeezed my eyes shut in a vain attempt to stop the tears. "I... oh no."

"It is alright." Celestia gently laid her wing over my back. "Tell me, did Discord touch you at all when he sent you away?"

"Uh..." I tried to think back to when he'd shoved me through the portal. Yeah, that sounded right. "Yeah, he did. Put his hand on my chest and said he'd be able to find me now."

"I see. That confirms my suspicion." Celestia laid down beside me and gently nuzzled my head. "He infused you with chaos magic, which mixed with the small particles of dark magic still lingering in your wounds. I was foolish not to consider that we might not have removed all of it. When you combine those two elements with your overwhelmed state..."

"I see." I gathered my strength and slowly pushed myself up to a sitting position. My head started spinning, so I almost fell back down, but I managed to steady myself. "So how did you find me?"

"It was not difficult, given the effects of your battle," Luna said, taking a seat on the other side of me. "We have been trying to confront Discord for some time, but every attempt was met with him running away. He could not take the Elements for himself, so he avoided us at all costs. We thought we'd found the perfect distraction when we found out you'd returned. Our plan was to hit him with the Elements once again, but..." Luna glanced in the direction of where Discord laid. I tightened my jaw and made a point of not looking in that direction.

"I... I killed him, didn't I?"

"I'm afraid so," Celestia said, nuzzling me again. "That much black magic would have killed anything. Do not blame yourself, Antares. You were not in control."

"Yeah, I was," I whispered. "I could have stopped. I wanted to kill him. Ever since he forced me back to Earth, I wanted nothing more than to see him dead."

"We will discuss that later," Celestia said, nuzzling my neck. "For now, let us return to Canterlot. You must rest. I will retrieve Nymeria."

I managed a weak smile at my daughter's name. "How is she?"

"She is well," Celestia said, helping me to my hooves. "We had her in hiding with my captain of the guard and his family. She will be happy to see her father again."

"Yeah, it'll make me feel better to hold her. I think we both need it."

Just then we heard quiet crying in the silence. I looked at Fluttershy to see if it was her, but, while she did have tears coming from her eyes, she wasn't sobbing.

"It's coming from behind that tree," Twilight said, pointing to the nearby tree.

Oh, right.

Celestia took wing and landed beside the tree. She sat down with that motherly smile of hers and levitated Kristen over to her, wrapping her in her wings.

"Shh, it's okay, my little pony," Celestia soothed, gently nuzzling her. "It is all over now."

"What the heck just happened?" Kristen whispered. She looked up to Celestia and groaned.

"Prince Antares is fine, my dear. He will not become like that again, I promise. Tell me, what is your name?"

"Uh, Celestia?" I uneasily cleared my throat and walked up to the pair. "This... this is my sister."

"Sister?!" Twilight and Rarity said at the same time.

"Yeah, she jumped through the portal after me. So, um... yeah, you're holding your sister-in-law."

"Oh." Celestia blinked in surprise. "Oh, I see."

I managed a weak smile as I sat beside the two. "So, sorry you had to see that. It's um... lots of bad magic and stuff. Celestia's right, it won't happen again."

"This is all so... stupid! You're stupid, he's stupid, she's stupid, those necklaces are stupid..." Kristen wiggled out of Celestia's grasp and began pacing, her wings flapping uneasily. "You're all stupid!"

"Yeah, I'm a little dumb." I wobbled slightly. "Can we talk about how stupid I am later?" I looked in the direction of Canterlot. "I need to see my daughter again."

* * * *

We all made the trip to Canterlot after that. Kristen tried to fly alongside me, but we realized pretty quickly that she'd need some flying lessons. She didn't want to ride on my back at first, but I pointed out that it was either that, riding on Celestia or Luna, or walking the whole way. The trains wouldn't be up quite yet. She opted to go with me.

After dropping Twilight and her friends off at Ponyville, with promises from all of them that they'd come see us, we made it back to Canterlot in about an hour. I heard mutters from the ponies around us about me, but I didn't really want to deal with that. I'd make some big statement about it later. Right now all I wanted was food, sleep, and to hold my daughter again. Nothing else mattered.

We made our way to the palace dining rooms, while Celestia sent for Nymeria. It took a little longer than normal for the chefs to get us something, and when they did deliver, it struck me as a little bare, but food was food. I instantly dug in. Kristen eyed the food with some suspicion, but she finally managed to eat some fruit. Eventually Celestia's guard captain came in with Nymeria on his back. I didn't say anything. I merely levitated Nymeria over to me and held her close. Nymeria cooed and nuzzled my chest, which got a smile from me, but otherwise I said nothing. I just held on to my daughter as if we were the only two ponies in existence.

* * * *

I stared out into the night sky through the window. I'd returned. I didn't need to worry anymore. Discord wasn't going to hurt me or anypony else again. My wife slept beside me, my daughter close by. Kristen's room was the closest one to ours. Everything should have been fine. I'd gotten everything I'd wanted.

I'd brutally killed Discord.

My parents were alone.

I'd actually attacked my wife and the mare pregnant with my second child.

I'd gone into such a primal state that they had to cleanse me with the Elements of Harmony.

Why did it feel like nothing had gone right?

"You look like you're thinking."

I raised my head and grimaced when I saw Death standing next to the window. He smiled and gave me a little wave. I sighed and put my head back down. "What do you want?"

"To congratulate you. You're back and all is right with the world."

"No it isn't," I muttered. I raised my head again and glared at him. "Did you only bring me back to kill Discord?"

Death snorted and shook his head. "No, that was just a happy result for me. I'm not the only one not of this world that wanted you back. You fit into the grand scheme here too well to just disappear like that." Death happily sighed and a faraway look appeared in his eyes. "As for Discord, you have no idea what you've done for me. A being that twisted time and space for his own ends and mocked the truth at every turn. I've waited tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of years for this day. Today I escorted Discord, lord of chaos, through the Shadowlands. For that I thank you."

I grunted. "Right. You're welcome. Whatever." I sat up a little more when a thought struck me. "Where did he go? After you walked with him. Paradise? Tartarus?"

Death shrugged. "I'm not the judge of such things. I am merely the escort to that judgement. Maybe you'll find out someday. Maybe you'll never know. Who knows? Life is full of mysteries like that." Death nodded and straightened out his jacket. "Best not trouble yourself with them. You're here now, you've done it, and you have a nation to take care of, as well as a family. There is so much more to do than trouble yourself with the events of one day. Ask your wife about that. She's lived for a very, very long time. You'll have more days like today. You'll have more days of every kind. Looking back at today leaves you unprepared for the rest of them." With that, Death tilted his head in a small bow. "I look forward to seeing what the future brings. Even I can't see all things. Like I said: educated guesses only. Although..." Death grimaced. "Acts like yours today always have consequences. Always."

Before I could say another word, he vanished, leaving me to my thoughts. I sighed and rolled over, draping my leg over Celestia and nuzzling her neck. She gave a noise of contentment and grabbed my hoof, holding it close. I managed a small smile before closing my eyes and letting sleep take me.

Author's Note

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Balance

I awoke to the morning sun shining through the mostly closed curtains. Makes sense to me that Celestia had let me sleep in as much as I needed. She'd probably cast a sleeping spell on me so that if Nymeria woke up, I wouldn't hear her and go back to sleep. I'd volunteer for colic duty for the week if that was the case.

I sat up with a yawn, stretching out my legs and wings before glancing at the nearby clock. One in the afternoon. Guess I had been tired. Given that I'd only been back for less than a day, I didn't think that I'd be missing any Day Court. Of course I'd have to go back to Baltimare soon to let my staff and guards know that I was okay and not stuck in some other dimension. I'd probably do that today, if not tomorrow. My family came first, and now that officially included Kristen.

Ugh. Not sure what to do there.

The culture shock alone could kill her. I'd been sent to a small town even smaller than the one I'd grown up in. My biggest issue was rent and whether or not I could score any chicken. She didn't get that easy transition, though. She was, for all intents and purposes, a princess now. Or a duchess. I'm not actually a hundred percent sure of her official title. If I knew her, she'd probably want to reject the title, though. I can't see her being wild about ponies bowing to her and calling her "Duchess Kristen" or whatever. For that matter, I can't really see her wanting to get a more traditional "pony" name. I know I hadn't been wild about it when I'd first ascended, but maybe she'd come around in time.

Seriously, though, she's even more stubborn than I am.

I took a quick shower before making my way to the dining room. Given the time I could see some ponies being there. I didn't know for sure if Celestia had actually scheduled Day Court for today, or if she'd given all of us a day or two off. We couldn't be out of commission too long, though. We had a lot to do to completely fix the damage Discord did. I did not look forward to meetings with any foreign leaders, but they might like the fact that I'd solved the problem completely.

My stomach twinged a bit at the memory. I know Luna didn't like to talk about her time as Nightmare Moon, and now I completely understood. I couldn't even decide if I'd felt in control or not. Sure the black magic made the pain go away, but I didn't have to kill him. I could have just maimed him enough that he didn't get back up.

What I hated the most was that it felt... good. Everything I thought of seemed almost foalishly easy with that kind of power. If I hadn't been holding back during the fight with Celestia and Luna, who knew what I could have done to them? I pushed the thoughts out of my mind as I reached the dining room. No need to think about that at the moment.

I opened up the doors to the dining room and smiled when I saw Kristen and Celestia sitting at the table with Nymeria on her high chair not too far away. They all looked at me when they heard me walk in, and Celestia and Nymeria smiled. I quickly moved over to give my daughter a nuzzle and my wife a kiss. I noticed Kristen stick her tongue out at the latter one, though.

"Oh come on, she's my wife," I said, sitting next to Celestia.

"She's also a pony," Kristen grumbled.

"Yeah, so am I." I gave her a pointed look as I began loading my plate with the various items on the table. "And now, so are you."

"Hooray," Kristen snarked.

I frowned at her. "You made the choice to come through the portal, you know, it's not like--"

"As much as I'd love to witness a conversation I'm certain you two will have many more times, I don't think it's best to do so in front of Nymeria." Celestia speared a watermelon cube on her fork. "Besides, it's lunchtime."

"Fair point. Speaking of, how are you getting along with your niece, Kristen?" I asked.

"She might be the one good thing you managed to pull out of this mess." Kristen smiled at Nymeria, who smiled right back. "Okay, she might be a pony who can rip apart entire rooms with her temper tantrums, but she's also adorable! Surprising since you're the father."

"Well my genes might have played a role in her looks too, to be fair," Celestia pointed out.

Kristen nodded. "Good point. She has her mother's looks."

"Oh hardy har har."

We continued eating in silence for a few more minutes. Celestia and Kristen had almost finished their meals when I'd come in, so really they just waited for me to finish up before we continued our talk. Nymeria had begun nodding off a little bit before I finished eating, so once I'd emptied my plate, I gently levitated her onto my back.

"I'll put her down. You two continue doing whatever it was you were doing. I'll come find you when I'm done."

"Very well. We shall be in the throne room," Celestia said. "As much as I hate to not have a day off, I'd rather we discuss a few things today. That way I can have even a slight feeling that I've done something productive today."

"Fair enough. I'll see you two shortly."

I made my way to Nymeria's room, being careful to not dislodge her from my back. She mumbled something in foal talk and began sucking on her hoof as she nuzzled into the spot between my shoulder blades. I lovingly chuckled and draped one of my wings over her back. I walked into her room without turning on the lights, rather illuminating my horn slightly so I could see where I was stepping. Even as an alicorn, stubbing your hoof wasn't the most pleasant experience. I gently lifted her off of my back and laid her down in her crib, draping a blanket over her and putting her favorite stuffed toy in her reach. Her hoof shot out and grabbed it, instantly hugging it close.

"Daddy loves you," I whispered, gently stroking her mane with my wing. "I'm not going away again. I promise you that. I'm never going to leave you or Mommy again. I will always protect you."

Nymeria reached out and placed her hoof on one of my feathers. I smiled and gently nuzzled her before folding my wing back at my side. After placing the usual foal monitor spells around the room, I backed away and quietly closed the door behind me.

Never again. I'd never leave her at the mercy of any of my enemies. Despite all that had happened, I'd ensured that Discord wouldn't hurt my daughter. If nothing else, I'd done that. He wouldn't have a chance to break free.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I made my way to the throne room. Interestingly enough, the only pony in the room was Kristen. She looked around the ornate throne room, quietly muttering to herself and shaking her head at the sights. She must have heard me come in, because she turned to face me with a grimace.

"Jeez, dude, never took you for someone who would like any of this crap."

I shrugged. "Comes with the title. My subjects expect a certain amount of decorum. Having said that, I don't rule from here. I rule from Baltimare."

Kristen rolled her eyes at that one. "Oh, charming. A pony pun. Do they have a 'hoofball' team called the Ravens?"

I smirked and shook my head. "No, they're actually the Blasts. Like a magic blast." I chuckle to myself. "You get used to it. There are a lot of pony pun names around here. Vanhoover, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Cloudsdale, Appleloosa, stuff like that. And that's just the town and city names."

Kristen grunts and shakes her head. "Whatever. Like you said: I guess I'll get used to it."

"Right." I look around the throne room. "Where is Celestia?"

"She went to go get the other one. Luna, isn't it?" I nodded. "Right. She went to go get her. I guess she gets grumpy when she wakes up, or something."

"Yeah, it can be pretty nasty to wake Luna up when she's already tired. We always have some coffee ready."

"Genius," Kristen snarked. "Anyway, I guess she wants to talk about some stuff, but I'm not sure why I need to be here for that."

"I think it's because you're going to have to make some major adjustments," I guessed. "Like it or not, you're royalty now. We kind of need to figure out what that means." I smile comfortingly at her and drape my wing over her back. "Don't worry about it. I had to do the same thing when I ascended. It doesn't hurt."

"Somehow I doubt I'm going to get a slice of Equestria, seeing as how I don't want one," Kristen said, sliding out from under my wing. "I'm only royalty by association, right? I don't have any responsibilities."

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I don't think you'll live at your own palace with your own guards and all that. You'll probably live with me in my palace, but..." I shrugged. "Honestly you can go do whatever you want. Just be careful. Like it or not, you coming here is going to have international repercussions. Being my sister means that ponies are going to see you as having influence with me, and they will use you to influence me. I'm not saying they're going to hold you hostage until I do what they want, but I can definitely see some noble or other doing you a few 'free' favors.

"'Oh, a free day at the spa? We'd love to give you one, Princess Kristen. No strings attached. Then later they cuddle up to you and say 'oh, can I just get a little favor from you? Nothing too major, just ask Prince Antares about this or that. Get me a meeting, show him this proposal, etc.'" I allow myself a minor smirk at the growing look of discomfort on my sister's face. We're not done yet, though. "Then there are the ponies who will want to introduce you to their marrying age sons or daughters. Political marriages are extremely common among the nobility around here. Given that you're the more powerful one because of your relationship to me, you might be able to dictate the terms on paper, but I assure you that they'd try to manipulate you into a marriage that benefits them more. And then there's--"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Kristen snapped, her hooves over her ears. "Why haven't you gotten rid of these sharks?!"

Any trace of amusement evaporates, and I let out a tired sigh. "It's... complicated. I'm not all powerful here. I can't just order something and have it done immediately, especially with an institution that ingrained in things like business and the military. There would be some major problems if I tried to do it overnight. On the other hoof..." I sit down and begin rubbing my temples. "A lot of noble children fought in the war. A lot of them came back, but there were a fair few noble families that lost all of their heirs. Several powerful and influential families either lost a lot of that power, or will die out entirely."

"So what happens when they do die out?"

I shrug. "It's possible that the crowns take over some of their endeavors, but more likely their assets will be split among several smaller noble families, or just purchased by wealthy non-nobles. I can't say for sure if this war put a permanent dent in the noble class, but at the very least it'll be weakened for several decades."

"Oh... uh..." Kristen blinked in confusion. "Right. yeah, that sounds like it'll be a big complicated mess."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to do a lot of extensive, complicated, and very political things to soften the blow. Given the nature of my job, I have to think of the repercussions of actions ten, fifteen, maybe even a hundred years from now."

Kristen frowned and tilted her head. "A hundred? What, are you immortal, or something?"

"Actually..."

Kristen's eyes narrowed. "Aw no way. So a hundred thousand years from now you'll be doing this same crap?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, possibly."

"Huh. So you're in this for the long haul, then."

"Yep."

Just before I could elaborate any further, the doors to the throne room opened up, and Celestia and Luna walked in. I smiled and walked up to Celestia for a loving nuzzle, which she returned.

"I hope you two are getting along," Celestia said.

"Yeah, I've been telling her some things about what she's gotten herself into."

Kristen scowled at that. "Yeah, sure. Sounds like this will be a real riot."

"I'm certain that it will take some time for you to adjust to all of this," Celestia said with a small smile. "However..." Her smile quickly fell. "Of course, we must take the time to determine exactly what your place in this world is."

"And I take it you can't just open up a portal and send me back to Earth?" The room went completely silent. Celestia and I exchanged an uncomfortable glance, which Kristen immediately picked up on. She groaned and waved her hoof. "It's fine. Whatever," said through gritted teeth.

"So..." I took a few small steps toward her. "You want to go back home."

"Obviously I can't, so why bother thinking about it?" Kristen snapped. "It was a dumb move to go and yeah, I'd do it differently if I could do it again. I just..." Kristen uneasily rubbed her leg. "I wasn't thinking, alright? I didn't think I'd lose my entire life if I tried to get you back. Now you're talking about manipulative nobles and all that stuff and... I want to go back home. I can't deal with all of that."

"I understand, my little pony, and--"

"I'm not your little pony," Kristen grumbled.

A slight frown creased Celestia's face. "It is merely an expression. I meant no offense. Regardless, I am afraid that you made your choice. I understand that this is going to be a difficult transition for you, but I have every faith that you will rise to the challenge. I saw your brother do it, and you seem to be more stubborn than even he is."

"Yeah, we'll see." Kristen huffed and subconsciously fluttered her wings. She looked back to her wings and glowered at them. "Are they always going to do that?"

I smirked at her and nodded. "Yeah, they are kind of in tune with your moods. You might learn to control them on some level, but they certainly reflect what you're feeling, particularly if the emotion is extreme. Everybody has non-verbal communication, but for pegasi you guys just have extra appendages that help with that, if you will."

Kristen stuck out her tongue at that. "Great. Any other fun things I should know about?"

"I am sure that Prince Antares will talk with you in more detail about your new form, but we seem to have gotten a bit off topic," Celestia said. "As Prince Antares's sister, you will likely be a public figure."

"Yeah, he's already talked to me about the nobles and stuff," Kristen grumbled.

"That is only a small part of your role," Celestia admitted. "The common pony will also look up to you. Technically speaking you are a duchess because of your relationship to Prince Antares, but I find no problem in simply referring to you as a princess."

"Princess Kristen," Kristen said, as if testing the name on her tongue. "Huh. Okay."

"Of course, keeping your Earth name may not be wise," Luna pointed out. "As you can see, your brother took an Equestrian name upon his ascension. For the sake of the Equestrian public--"

"Nope. Kristen. I'm not changing it."

A patient smile crossed Celestia's face, and she gently placed a wing on Kristen's back. "You would have full approval rights, of course, but for your subjects' sake, I suggest--"

"They can deal with it," Kristen said with a glower. "I'm Kristen. End of story."

"Oh come on, Kristen, think of it like a Gandalf/Mithrandir sort of thing, you know?" I said. "You know, you'd be Kristen to us and for everypony else you'd be whatever other name worked best."

"Hmm, that's an interesting point," Kristen said, tapping her jaw. "And I think I have a good idea of what my name should be." She instantly gave me a flat look. "Kristen. You've gone native. I've figured that out pretty well. Doesn't mean that I have to." She frowned and tilted her head as a thought struck her. "So wait, though." She turned to Celestia. "Did you say 'subjects'?"

"I did. As royalty you do have some measure of power here. I doubt that it will be on the same level as your brother, but as a princess they would look to you by default. I cannot say for certain what that will look like until we actually get their reaction to your appearance, but given that you are Prince Antares's sister, I can see them welcoming you very quickly, especially in Baltimare."

"They're all good ponies over there," I chimed in. "They'll be very welcoming."

"Right, I'm sure." Kristen sighed and rubbed her leg. "Coming after you through the portal was a dumb idea, wasn't it?"

"Even we cannot see what the future holds," Luna said. "You may have some grand part to play in the coming years."

"Yeah, but I'm not immortal like you guys, right?"

I shook my head. "I really rather doubt it. If you were you'd look a lot more like us."

"Well there's that then, at least." Kristen took a deep breath. "So anything else you want to talk to me about?"

"I think most of your education will come in Prince Antares's palace in Baltimare," Celestia said. "For the time being, you'll be residing there. We shall make our decisions once we get a better feel for how the ponies there react to your presence."

"And if you should change your mind on the matter of the name, we can--"

Kristen hit Luna with a glare I'd seen a lot of times growing up. "Not interested. If the ponies here can't handle my name then they can shove it."

"If that is how you feel, then that is how you feel," Celestia said, smiling warmly at my sister. "I do not think they will have an issue with it, we were merely offering." Celestia nodded and turned to me. "I think it is time for you to return to Baltimare. Your subjects there need to see you. They will be frantic if they think you are still missing."

"Yeah, I think so too." I fluttered my wings to stretch them out a little bit. "No time like the present, then."

With that settled, the four of us walked out of the room. Celestia commanded a nearby servant to get a chariot ready for Kristen and I which, in keeping with Celestia's standards, was ready for the two of us by the time we reached the courtyard. Kristen eyed it suspiciously, but with some prodding from me she stepped on. I was just about to follow her, but Celestia held me back, motioning for me to follow her out of Kristen's earshot. I nodded back and assured Kristen I wouldn't be gone for long before joining Celestia.

"What's up?"

Celestia looked around to make sure nopony listened in on us before speaking. "I didn't want to say this in front of Kristen because I do not want her to worry. She saw too much when you fought Discord."

I flattened my ears and looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I wish she hadn't seen that. I wasn't a very violent person on Earth. Her and I got into some scuffles, but nothing like that. If I had to guess, she didn't even think I was capable of something like that. I'd rather her get to know the new me more gradually. I'm worried that her seeing that negatively impacted how she sees me, even if she's not showing it."

"I would not be surprised," Celestia admitted. "It is something that you will have to talk to her about in more detail once she is settled. However, there is one more matter that worries me: Discord's replacement."

I frowned and tilted my head. "Wait, his replacement? Like he'd reincarnate, or something?"

Celestia shrugged. "It is possible, but I am not certain it would happen in that manner. Discord was created as a way to balance out the world. While there shouldn't be a perfect balance between order and chaos, we cannot have too much of one, thus Discord was created to balance things out a little more. In the beginning he was not what you knew him as. He was more of a prankster, not some mad being bent on controlling the world. Rather he..." Celestia spun her hoof as she thought of the words. "Added a little flavor to the world. Made it so that things weren't always so predictable. It was when he let his power corrupt him that we had to trap him in stone. Prior to his schemes he was more of a brat at his worst, not the sadist you met."

"So what's your point?"

"My point is that he was brought into the world to add a little more balance, and the powers-that-be might decide that that balance might need to be restored. It is possible a new chaos lord will appear, and when he does..."

"Are you saying that we need to identify this potential new chaos god and sort of shepherd him to be better than his predecessor?"

"Perhaps, though that might be a bit difficult. Chaos is rather unpredictable like that." A small, sad smile crossed Celestia's face. "It is one of the things I loved about Discord before he went down a darker path."

"Hmm." I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, I think you might be right about all of this. I can't say for sure, but you might be. My first night back Death came to talk to me." Celestia raised an eyebrow in interest. "He said that actions like mine always have consequences. If he's right, then something's going to happen." I frowned. "You don't think Nymeria or Luna's foal could..."

Celestia tilted her head in thought. "I do not think that Nymeria could be the new chaos lord. Call it maternal instinct, if you must. I, of course, cannot say for certain. As for Luna's foal... I suppose we shall have to wait and see."

"Sounds like a fun time," I grumbled. "In any case, I'll let you know if I get any future developments on that front, although I'm not sure we'll see it coming. At any rate, my subjects await."

After a quick kiss and nuzzle, I made my way back to the chariot, where a glaring Kristen awaited me. "Good of you to just walk off like that."

I gave her an apologetic grin as I sat down across from her. "Sorry, alicorn stuff. Fate of the world, things like that."

The chariot took off, causing Kristen to jerk forward and hang onto the edge as if she might fly off at any second. After realizing that she was fine, she glared at the four pegasi pulling the chariot before turning back to me.

"Tell me you haven't turned into one of those 'mystical being that's always keeping secrets' kind of rulers."

"I'd love to tell you that, I really would, but..."

Kristen huffed and crossed her forelegs. "Great. So you're not going to tell me anything about your job, are you?"

I frowned and shook my head. "No, nothing like that. It's just that there are some things that we don't tell the general public, just like any rulers. The 'mystical' part comes more from the fact that we're immortal and much more powerful than anything else. Granted, those two attributes make it so that we must plan ahead far longer than anypony else on this planet. We're going to meet the great-great-great-great grandfoals of the ponies we currently rule over, and what we do now could very well affect them in their daily lives."

"But I'm not immortal, right?"

I grimaced and shook my head. "No, I don't think you are. That's um..." I cleared my throat and looked away from her. "That's something to not discuss right now. You just got here. I know we have to plan ahead a lot, but I'd rather not start planning your funeral, thank you very much."

"Right, right, I was just curious." An awkward silence fell between the two of us for a few minutes before Kristen broke it. "So, tell me about this palace thing of yours."

"It's home, I like to think," I said with a smile. "Of course, it's a home where hundreds of ponies a day come in asking for stuff, but the servants and guards help with that."

"Servants and guards, huh?" Kristen snorted. "Remember when we were talking about what we'd do with a billion dollars? Even then you said you never wanted servants."

"It did take some getting used to," I admitted. "But when you have my schedule, you need all the help you can get. I might be able to move the sun around, but even I'm not powerful enough to do all of my court stuff, my appearances at things, any special events, and then cook and clean any of the million other things my staff does on a daily basis. My workload is crushing enough without all of that."

"Wait..." Kristen frowned at me. "Did you say 'move the sun around'?"

"Sure did, though that's not my job. Here the sun and the moon don't rise and set on their own. Celestia is in charge of the sun and Luna controls the moon. It took me a few tries, but I finally managed to raise the sun myself once."

"Unbelievable." Kristen looked down to examine her own body. "So I take it that's not something anybody can do."

I shook my head. "Definitely not. Before Celestia and Luna, the unicorns got together and raised the sun and moon, but now they're in whatever industries their cutie marks match with."

"Cutie marks?" Kristen glanced down at my flank. "Is that what that picture on your butt is?"

I nodded. "Yup. Each pony gets them when they discover what their special talent is. Usually that happens when they're younger, roughly between the ages of seven and ten, but every now and again there's a special case like you and me. I didn't come to Equestria with this, just like you don't have yours yet."

"Uh-huh." Kristen tilted her head. "And what exactly does a scorpion have to do with your job?"

"Well, my official title is the Prince of Snark, Sarcasm, Foal Services, Education and Pastries, so I'm in charge of all of that. My cutie mark factors more into the star Antares, alongside the fact that scorpions are very maternal creatures. Snark, sarcasm and pastries were more of a joke that eventually became official."

Kristen rolled her eyes before responding. "So what exactly am I, then?"

"In terms of what kind of pony?" Kristen nodded. "You're a pegasus. You can fly and you can also use your innate pegasus magic to control the weather and things like that."

Kristen's eyebrow raised in interest. "Really? Control the weather?"

"Oh yeah, without the pegasi we'd be in trouble. While not every pegasus is in weather work, most of them are. The pegasus 'headquarters', if you will, is Cloudsdale. That's where all the weather gets made."

"Made? So there aren't any naturally occurring clouds or something?"

"Not on the whole, no. Some places yes, but generally the pegasi will create most of them."

"Huh.” Kristen tilted her head. "And am I going to get some weather related job, then?"

I shrugged. "What you do now is entirely up to you and, to be honest, what your cutie mark will be." I raised a hoof to forestall the inevitable follow-up question. "Don't worry, your cutie mark isn't randomly assigned. It's something you're already passionate about. A filly who loves dancing isn't going to get a cutie mark that says she should be a coal miner."

"So I should get something water related, since I wanted to be a diver back home." She frowned in thought. "Ponies can swim, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Pegasi are some of the best swimmers, too, what with your guys' wings and all." I tapped my jaw thoughtfully. "Maybe that's why you turned into one.

A small smile crossed Kristen's face. "Yeah, maybe." Kristen looked out in the direction we were flying. "So how much longer before we get to, what was it, Baltimare?"

"About three or four hours this way. It's faster by train, but, you know, royalty."

"Of course," Kristen grumbled. "So what happens when we actually get there?"

"My main concern right now is making sure my subjects know that I'm okay. My secondary objective is to introduce you to them. My servants and guards should get used to you pretty quickly. You're my sister, so they should treat orders from you like they're orders from me. Once that's settled then I want to get you started on some school."

From the way Kristen looked at me, you'd think I'd just said that I planned to throw her out into the bitter cold to fend for herself. I uneasily grinned at her and scratched the back of my neck. "If you're going to be living here you have to know where you're living. I'm not saying you have to get into politics, you can go be a swim teacher in Vanhoover if you want, but you should at least know about your new country. Besides all of that, you're a princess. Ponies are going to know that and act accordingly. If you do decide to become a swim teacher, that's not going to stop all the stuff with the nobles I was telling you about earlier."

"Oh come on!" Kristen groaned. "I'm not going to marry some pretty rich boy who only wants me for my status."

"I'm not saying you ever have to marry anyone for any reason," I insisted. "I'm just saying that ponies are going to treat you differently and you need to be prepared for that. Then there's the other countries, their leaders, the effects of the war, how all of that might affect you as my sister, and--"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Kristen insisted, putting her hooves over her ears. "Hooray for school!"

I smiled sympathetically at her. "I know. You already finished college and all that."

"Actually I didn't," Kristen said. "I dropped out not too long after you..." Her ears flattened and she looked away from me. "Yeah. Too much crap going on there. Got my diving certification instead. I was gonna do that. I had plans on being a diving instructor in Australia before you came back."

"Huh, cool."

Of course that's all out the window now, but hey, there are some really good diving schools around here. Maybe she could integrate some Earth techniques into what we do here. Whatever the case, I'd do everything I could to make her transition as smooth as possible. The culture shock would hit her very soon, but I wanted her to have a happy life. I didn't agree with her choice to come through the portal after me, and neither did she in hindsight, but that didn't mean she had to be miserable. She adapted to living in America, even though she's a Canadian at heart. She's a Powell, same as I was.

I spent the rest of the flight giving her a few base details of what to expect, on top of a little Equestrian culture. I went over the four types of pony in a little more detail, along with their roles. I touched on a few of the different countries and their leaders, alongside of giving her a very brief rundown of the war. Mostly I talked to her about my life in Baltimare and all that entailed.

"Your own religion." Kristen gave me a flat look and crossed her forelegs. "You have a group of ponies that worship you as a god."

"Well, uh... yeah. I'm an immortal pony more powerful than any other pony on the planet, except for Celestia and Luna. They've had thousands of years to grow their power and knowledge and I've had around four. To some ponies I'm a living deity."

"But you aren't actually, are you?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. At the end of the day I'm just a guy who was hit with some magical necklaces and became really, really powerful and immortal. If you get the right weapon I can still be killed. I am nowhere near all-powerful. If you had to compare me to something, we're more like Greek gods than anything, though even that comparison isn't perfect."

"So then why the heck do you let them worship you at all?"

"It's... complicated," I admitted. "If I told them not to then they'd think I was angry with them for something and they'd start trying to do all of these things to get back in my favor. On top of all of that, they'd worship me whether I wanted them to or not. I've done some things that have greatly improved the lives of these ponies. I've saved some of them from slavery. It's just... easier this way. I made sure that they haven't said anything I don't agree with in my bible."

"Your bible." Kristen gave me a flat look. "They wrote a bible about you."

"Yeah, they did. I wasn't really happy when I first found out, but it all goes back to what I was saying earlier. They're going to do it whether I want them to or not, so I might as well control what they're doing and saying in my name the best I can."

"So, um... they're not going to think that I'm some kind of deity since I'm your sister, right?"

"I... actually have no idea how you're going to factor into it." I frowned and tilted my head. "But now that you bring it up, yeah. Or they might just see you as the non-godly sibling of their god, just like how Jesus had a bunch of brothers and sisters that aren't worshiped." I paused for a moment. "Either that or you're going to be revered as some sort of prophetess and any words from you about my time on Earth will be used to update my bible, so no pressure."

"Good. Grief." Kristen sighed and rubbed her leg. "Just wonderful. Maybe I shouldn't be speaking to them at all, then."

"That'll be kind of difficult," I admitted. "My secretary is probably my most devout follower. She's going to want to talk to you about all of that. You'll let something slip eventually that she'll want to run to the church with."

Before Kristen could respond to that, the chariot began making its descent. She grabbed onto the sides again as if she'd fly off if she didn't hang on for dear life. I smirked at the sight and looked down to where we were going to land. Dozens, if not hundreds of ponies crowded around the landing area, many of them cheering my name. My guards kept them in check for the most part, which I appreciated. I didn't much care for the idea of being swarmed by the crowd, especially with Kristen beside me. She'd get enough of a first hoof culture shock of my followers without being trapped in a mosh pit.

The chariot landed and I smiled serenely and waved at the gathered ponies. Many of them instantly dropped to their knees in a bow, and I could see tears in the eyes of several of them. I gracefully stepped off of the chariot and cast a spell so my voice could be heard over the noise.

"Mares and gentlecolts, I thank you for being here. It means a lot to me to see your support in this uncertain time. I understand that my disappearance was frightening for you, but rest assured that I am back to stay and I am completely unharmed. I..." I faltered for a moment. I wanted to let them know that Discord wouldn't be coming back, but that brought up the memories of why he was gone forever.

Keep it together, Antares. Nothing bothers you. You're an emotional rock that they can all rely on.

"I can also assure you that Discord shall never again terrorize these lands."

"He slew Discord!" one of the ponies in the crowd shouted. "I heard it from my cousin in Canterlot! Prince Antares slew Discord in combat!"

The crowd noise became deafening, and my guard had to begin pushing ponies back so I wasn't completely mobbed by them. I raised my hoof to calm them down, pointedly staring at any pony that started to ask me a question.

"Yes, it is true that I defeated Discord. However, I feel that it is not an accomplishment that we should focus on. Rather we need to look ahead to ensuring that any damage he might have done is completely repaired. Focusing on Discord is much less important than unifying at this time." The crowd tried to speak again, but I kept my hoof raised until they went silent. "Now if you'll excuse me, mares and gentlecolts, I must retire to my palace. I am weary from everything that has happened. I will release an official statement on all that has happened soon, and Day Court will resume in short order. I merely ask for a few days to regain my bearings." I tilted my head in a nod to the crowd. "Thank you, my loyal subjects."

My guards moved the ponies aside to make a pathway with which I could walk into my palace, where more guards doubtlessly waited to keep the crowd from entering. Sure enough, just as I walked through the door, Blaze and Rapids waited for me alongside Tulip, whose face was streaked with tears. I smiled warmly at each of them.

"Hello. I'm back."

Tulip ran forward at full speed, but stopped just before she reached me. Her foreleg was lifted as though she wanted to come closer, and she bit her lip nervously. I smirked and sat down, extending my hooves to her.

"Come on. It's okay."

Tulip instantly shot into my embrace, burying her face into my chest, wetting my fur with her tears.

"I was so scared!" she wailed. "I thought we'd lost you forever and I didn't know what to do and I wasn't sure how to raise my foals without you around and I wanted to keep them hidden from Discord and I didn't know what he'd do if he found them but I didn't know where to run or if I should stay put or if--"

"Tulip, it's fine. We're all fine. I'm back and Discord isn't going to hurt anypony else anymore, okay?"

"So, um..." Blaze uneasily scratched the back of his neck. "Did you, um... kill him and stuff?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I guess I did. So that's why we don't have to worry about him anymore." I let go of Tulip and stood up before stepping aside to reveal Kristen, who looked at the scene with a slight air of amusement. I extended a wing in her direction. "And everypony, this is my sister, Kristen. She came back to Equestria with me."

Tulip let out a loud gasp and alternated between looking at Kristen and me. "S-sister? That's your sister?"

"Is she your secretary?" Kristen muttered to me out of the corner of her mouth. I subtly nodded, and Kristen groaned.

"That's wonderful!" Tulip's face split into a huge grin and she rushed over to my sister. "Uh, I don't know if I should shake your hoof or I can bow to you if you want. My name's Tulip. I'm Prince Antares's consigliere."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Kristen gingerly extended a hoof, which Tulip stared at for a moment, likely deciding if she should kiss it or shake it, before deciding on shaking it.

"She's my most devoted staff member," I said. "The ponies in armor are my loyal guard. The one on the left there is Captain Blaze, and the one on the right is Lieutenant Rapids. They've been with me almost since I first ascended."

"Oh, you flatter me, Prince Antares," Blaze said, waving his hoof in front of his face as though he was blushing.

Rapids's smile was a little more brittle as she tilted her head to Kristen, making sure to not move her mane away from her missing ear.

"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet all of you too," Kristen replied.

"In time you'll have to learn the names of every single pony who works here, along with their jobs and the names of their families and the palace gossip they know about and--"

"Oh please tell me you're joking," Kristen groaned.

I smiled at her and draped a wing over her back. "A little, yes. You are a princess now, though, so some information on where you are living is required."

"Oh, yes, you're a princess! Princess Kristen," Tulip said, nodding enthusiastically. "If you need anything just let me know and I'll do my best to help you out! Just let me know what I need to do!"

"Right. right." Kristen moved a half step closer to me. "I think I'll just stick with TD for right now, thanks."

The previously happy atmosphere of the room instantly evaporated, and uncomfortable looks crossed everypony's face. Kristen picked up on it and glowered at them. "He's my brother. He was TD to me long before he was Prince Antares to you. I'm going to call him that, you got it? Call it a princessly right."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," Tulip muttered. "Yeah, you can call him TD, Your Majesty."

I allowed myself a quiet snort and rolled my eyes. This would be a bit of an adjustment.

Author's Note

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Religion

I needed out.

Not back to Earth, largely because that's not possible anymore, but I needed out of my room. I wiped my eyes and looked around the place. I'd kind of... ruined it, I guess. The carpet was just a bunch of multicolored spots wherever I'd walked when I was pacing or stomping around. My bedsheets were cheese now, so there's that. One of my bedposts was made of what looked like Twizzlers. The nearby dresser had already melted into a puddle of chocolate.

I took a deep breath and got to my feet.

Hooves.

I groaned and rubbed my arm. Or my foreleg. That thing. Although isn't it still called an arm now?

Whatever. I don't care.

My wings fluttered by themselves as I walked to the large window in my room. Yeah, maybe I could leave like that. There's no way that TD will just let me walk out of the palace. There are guards and stuff. He's probably told them to make sure I don't leave. But he'd promise that I'm totally not a prisoner here!

I nudged the window open and poked my head out, grimacing when I saw that my window is decently high up. Yeah, I have wings now, but I'm not totally sure how to use them. If I did then I'd just fly on out of here and go wherever. Can't do that now, though. Maybe I could...

I shakily stepped onto the window frame and spread my wings as much as I could. I flapped them a couple of times, just to see if I can lift off. Nope. Hmm. Maybe I could glide, though? I scooted forward a few inches and leaned in so I can spread my wings a little more. Unfortunately, that just means that I lost my balance, and I plummeted to the ground like a rock.

"Shoooooooooot!" I cried, wildly flapping my wings in the vague hope that I could somehow figure out how to work my wings in the few seconds I had be--

I hit the ground hard enough that I go right through the pavement.

I could tell right away that I didn’t have any broken bones, but my bell had been rung pretty good. I groaned and slowly climbed out of the hole I'd made. Dumb sidewalk. Looking back at it, I could see that the impact crater was a perfect outline of me when I hit the ground. Kristen E Coyote, that's me. Still, though, I got the feeling that if I wasn't the new god of chaos, that would be a pretty fatal fall, or at least one that I'd spend quite a while recovering from. With a deep breath and rubbing my head to steady myself a little bit, I shakily got to my hooves and looked around. There weren't any guards instantly around me, so that's good. I'm sure he had some walking around the palace, but he didn't have any just outside my window. Good.

Alright, let's get out of here.

There was no way that TD was going to be happy about this, but who cares, really? Some sadist made me the new chaos god because TD just couldn't help himself and killed the last one. Let him worry a little bit. Although, considering what just happened, being the chaos god had a few perks, namely not dying when I leave a Kristen shaped hole in the ground.

Now that I think about it though, would I leave a Kristen shaped hole, or just a stain on the ground if I wasn't the chaos god? All things considered, I'd rather not find out.

Whatever. I left my room so I wouldn't have to think about all of the crap that's happened to me recently.

So, what did he call this city again? Baltimare? I stuck my tongue out at the stupid pony name as I walked away from the palace. The ponies couldn't come up with a single name that was A. original and B. not a horse pun? The main characters live in some hamlet called Ponyville, right? Reminds me of the city of 'Townsville' in the Powerpuff Girls.

Huh, maybe I could actually take TD up on his offer to have a little bit of this place to call my own. Give it a real, non-horsey name. Ontario, Highlands Ranch, Colorado, Canada, stuff like that. No horse puns for me.

Anyway, it didn't take me too long before I'm free. Now I just had to decide what to do. I didn't have any money, so I probably couldn’t do anything fun or get something to eat. Maybe I should have eaten some of my bedsheets before I left. My ears perked up as an idea struck me. So, I've been making food and stuff out of thin air. So that should solve that problem, right? I looked around to see if anyone was watching me before I went to a more out of the way area of the sidewalk. I'm not quite in the city proper just yet, so it's not like I'm trying this in front of a lot of people.

I cleared my throat, looking around one more time just in case, and pointed to the stretch of sidewalk in front of me.

"Chocolate chip cookie!"

Nothing happened. I frowned and looked at my hoof. Not sure why. I couldn't tell if there was something wrong with it. I tried again, pointing at the sidewalk... harder? With more enthusiasm?

"Pepperoni calzone!" Nothing. "Glass of milk! Roast beef sandwich! Peanut M&Ms!"

I glared at the empty sidewalk as though it's the reason I'm not getting fed right then. I groaned and stomped into the city proper. I'll figure it out later. I mean, according to TD, I have an eternity, right?!

I quietly scoffed to myself, but tried to push it out of my mind. No, I'm not going to think about that today. Between losing my family, world, species, and then mortality, I can't just stay in my room brooding right now. I'm sure TD and I and maybe Celestia will have a hundred talks about it. I need some air before that.

Okay, so where am I?

I turned around and could see the palace in the distance. I'm pretty sure that it's the center of the city at this point. It would make sense. If I got lost, I'd just ask where the palace was and probably everybody in the city would know. I'm fine.

I did some people... pony watching as I walked down the sidewalks. Most of them were just going about their day, completely oblivious to the fact that the new god of chaos is walking with them. Really not looking forward to that reveal. After Discord, they're not going to be happy with me when they find out. Maybe they'll be mad at TD too, since I'm his sister and all.

No, no, none of that! Not thinking about it. Moving on.

Still, though, I...

Moving on!

I did have a distraction come up when I heard a little girl behind me. She didn't sound that old.

"Mommy, why doesn't that mare have a cutie mark?"

I froze on the sidewalk and looked behind me. I saw a small pony pointing at me and looking up at her mother. A few ponies around me stopped and tried to pretend that they weren't looking at me. Jerks.

"Ruby, you're being rude!" the mom scolded, using her magic to pull on the girl's ear. "We do not point."

"But Mom, I just wanna know!" the girl whined. "All grown up ponies are supposed to have cutie marks! Is there something wrong with her?"

I tightened my jaw and looked away. Buzz off, kid. I'm a princess now and stuff! I could probably have you arrested for offending me! I quietly sighed and continued walking, feeling a lot more self-conscious. I can almost feel the people around me staring. They're going to feel awkward when they find out who I am.

I pushed that crap out of my mind and started looking around at the buildings. Most of them seem to be like shops and restaurants and stuff. Feels like a city, I guess. Not even close to as big as, like, Denver or something like that. Not too small, though. It's too bright and vivid for my taste. Too... cartoony, I guess? Makes sense since this is a cartoon on Earth, but it just doesn't look right to me. It's not home. Not sure at all how TD managed to adapt to a place like this. I remember us talking about places we'd like to live other than Earth. He was more of a Middle Earth/Westeros/Star Wars kind of guy. Not happy bubbly cartoon ponies.

As I'm walking along, a building catches my eye. Well, not really the building itself, but I saw that there's a big statue of TD on top, looking down on the street with this serene look on his face. Uh... what the heck is that? Looked like a lot of ponies were going inside, too. They all had these red scorpion necklaces around their necks.

Wait? Red scorpions? Like TD's butt tatt-- oh no. This is his church, isn't it? I had no idea what day of the week it was, but I started to hedge my bets on Sunday. I turned around and began walking away. I am not going to get involved with a religion that worships my brother like he's Jesus, or something.

Then again...

I turned back around, biting my lip as I see more people going into the church. Morbid curiosity begins creeping up on me. I shouldn't. I really, really shouldn't. This has gotta be like blasphemy, or something. Obviously TD knows about this, though, since he hasn't stopped it. I wondered if they just made up his doctrine or if he got to say what they preached in his name. Maybe they...

Screw it. Maybe I can find something to tease him about. Despite all of my instincts telling me not to, I made my way to the church. There's an older looking pony in these big white robes and a huge scorpion necklace. I can just slip past him and--

"Ah, good morning, sister!" the pony sayid, extending his hoof to me. "I see you are new here."

I tilted my head as I stared at the extended hoof. So... is that supposed to be just like a handshake, or something? I slowly raise my own hoof and touch it to his. He moves his own hoof up and down with mine. So yeah, I guess this is just like a handshake, then.

"Uh... yeah, I was just passing by and thought I'd look and see what's going on."

The pony's smile widened. "Oh, of course! My name is Father Snap Feather. We always welcome new visitors to The First Church of His Holy Majesty Prince Antares. May I ask you your name?"

"Uh..." Do they know my name yet? If so, are they going to start bowing to me when they realize I'm TD's sister? Probably best not to risk it right now. "I'm... Diving Bell."

Brilliant.

"Well, Ms. Bell, we're certainly happy to have you." He motioned into the church. "Please come in! Service will start in just a few minutes. Take a seat anywhere you'd like."

"Alright. Sure." I pointed at his necklace. "I don't have to have one of those things, do I?"

"Oh, certainly not, Ms. Bell," he said, waving his hoof. "I can certainly get you one if you'd like, but these are symbols of our love and devotion to our lord Prince Antares. If you are merely visiting then I'm not sure it would mean as much to you as it does to us."

"Right. That makes sense. I'm just making sure. Alright. I'll see you inside."

I stepped into the church and found an empty seat at the very back. There are still a few ponies next to me, but I'm doing my best to not make eye contact with them.

"Good morning to you, sister!"

Dang it.

I forced a smile on my face and turned to the ponies sitting next to me. Looks like a family of four. "Uh... yeah, hi. How are you?"

"I'm quite wonderful," the dad said. "This is the best day of the week, isn't it? Although I must say that I haven't seen you here before. Are you new?"

"Yeah, definitely. Really new."

"Well then welcome!" The dad took a book off of the back of the pew in front of him and handed it to me. "We'll be reading from this today. It's Prince Antares's holy book."

Oh, he's got his own bible too? How delightful. I gingerly opened it up to one of the middle pages and saw the phrase "Book of the Element of Generosity" on the top right corner. I flipped through a few pages and saw that it's kind of... interesting, I guess? Lots of platitudes. Makes me remember what Dad said a lot: wise words and an empty platitude walk into a bar, then he buys himself a drink. I'll admit, though, I haven't read the entire thing, nor have I studied it with some of the pastors or anything, so what do I know? Maybe there's a lot of context I'm missing.

The door to the church closed and Snap Feather walked up to the pulpit. The organ music stopped, and it's only then I realized that it had been playing a pipe organ version of Jeremy by Pearl Jam.

Yeah, that's a nice "church-y" song.

"Good morning, mares and gentlecolts," Snap Feather said once he got settled. "To all members I'm delighted to see you back, and for any new ponies, I welcome you! As you all know, our prayers have been answered! Not only did Prince Antares return to us from his original world, but he slew Discord in combat, freeing us from any further harm from that villain!"

The room burst into what I could only assume was applause. Everybody stomped their hooves on the ground in a kind of clapping way, so that's probably right. Gosh, though, if only they knew what really happened. It wasn't some awesome battle like from some anime, what TD did was...

My wings fluttered uneasily. None of these ponies would be okay with TD if they saw him like that. That wasn't my brother, and I'm guessing that it wasn't the "god" they've built him up as either.

The ponies stopped applauding after a few seconds, allowing Snap Feather to continue on with his little speech. "We thank him for what he's done. He will always protect us! He saved our country during the war, and he saved us from Discord's evil ways. His good subjects should give him praise now more than ever. What he has done will never be forgotten. He will...

I heard the door to the church open and turned just in time to see a group of about a dozen ponies walk in, all wearing black and carrying duffel bags. Was this a funeral and nobody told me? The pastor was still going, but I could see a few ponies around me looking at the newcomers with interest. My wings fluttered again. Something wasn't right.

One of the ponies grabbed a nearby pole with some kind of flag on it, pulled off the flag, shut the door to the church, and barred the door with the pole. Yeah, okay, not good. I wasn't sure if I should warn the people around me, but it, might be a bit too late for that.

I shot out of my seat when one of the ones with horns pulled out a crossbow. No no no! Uh... I'm immortal now, right? I can take the shot? Wait, don't I have powers, or something? They seemed to manifest whenever I got really emotional, and this kind of seemed like it could fall under the category of stressing me out! Thankfully she doesn't fire at Snap Feather or anything. She just points it into the air and fires.

Yeah, that got the attention of everybody else. It's not as loud as a gun, but with only one guy talking, they're all going to hear it. A lot of the ponies started screaming and running away from the bad guys, but two of the ones with wings pulled out their own crossbows and blocked any of the back exits, while the other three winged ones took to the air with their own crossbows. Two more horned ones, unicorns, I think TD called them, pulled out knives, and two of the regular ones put on boots that had blades on them.

Come on, turn them into newts, or something!

"Mares and gentlecolts..." The last pony, who isn't armed it looks like, took a few steps forward. He's got slicked back hair and I guess a nice suit. He had a slight smirk like he totally owned the place. "Mares and gentlecolts, if you could please be silent." When the general noise of a bunch of freaked out ponies doesn't immediately stop because he asked nicely, he nodded to the pony who had fired the first shot. She grinned and loaded another shot, pointed it at the pulpit, then fired, burying the arrow into the wood.

"If you could all please be silent!"

The ponies stopped freaking out, but they were all shivering like lambs in a pen. Guess they were kind of like that.

"I understand that this must be shocking, but I need to to all remain calm. This will all be over in short order if you simply follow my commands, the first of which is to congregate in the middle of the room away from any doorways or windows." He tilted his head in a nod. "Thank you."

"Sir, I must insist that you stop this at once!" Snap Feather said, pushing through the crowd to get to the main bad guy. "We worship the god Antares, and he does not take kindly to those who threaten his followers! Surely you saw what he did in the war. He will not go easy on you if you continue down this path! Leave now. So far you have done nothing that cannot be forgiven."

The head honcho's mouth twisted into a grin as he moved closer to Snap Feather. Kind of reminded me of a lion coming up to a wounded gazelle. "You are the high priest here, yes? I wonder if you truly believe what you are saying, or if you are leading these ponies astray with your talks of worshiping this pony, who, in the grand scheme of things, is little more than a newborn. You would worship a child?"

"A pony who saved our country during the war!" Snap Feather retorted. "One who dethroned the tyrant Purgle and sacked Schunie, something no army has ever done in the history of the city! He will protect us from the likes of you!"

"Oh?" The bad guy made a show of looking around. "I don't see him here." Snap Feather opened his mouth to respond, but the bad guy just waved him off. "Oh, I'm not saying he won't be here. He will be. I'll make sure of it. But first, if you would like your congregation to remain safe, I suggest you follow my instructions to congregate in the middle of the room." He sneered at Snap Feather, then lit his horn and tore the scorpion necklace from around his neck. "We shall see what kind of god he really is in due time."

Snap Feather glared at the guy, but he slowly backed up with the rest of the group into the middle of the room. One of the unicorns noticed that me and the family next to me hadn't moved, so he pointed his crossbow at me. "Move to the middle of the room," he growled. "We wouldn't want this to get messy."

The bad guy chuckled and put his hoof on the other guy's shoulder. "Now now, no need to be violent. I'm sure they were just moving." He pointedly looked at me. "Weren't you, madam?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," I grumbled.

"Excellent." Once me and the few other stragglers had moved to the middle of the room, the big bad started circling around us like a shark sizing up his prey. "Good morning to you, mares and gentlecolts. I apologize for this rather intrusive behavior, but my associates and I couldn't just stand by and watch while you were led astray." He motioned to one of the stained glass windows with TD on it as he kept walking. "You are worshiping a usurper. A pony who has no respect for the natural order of things. He does not wish for balance in this world. He merely seeks to shape it in his own image without any regards to consequences."

The big bad wheeled around and glared at the closest pony. "He fought our lord and murdered him! Chaos is the natural balance to all of the order your false usurper wishes to enforce upon the world, and when Lord Discord merely tried to bring balance back, your god cut him down!"

Oh. Oh dear. Uh... guess Discord had his followers too, I guess. So wait, does that mean...?

No. No, my day isn't going to go that poorly.

"Prince Antares saved us from the torture Discord would have brought upon us!" one of the ponies retorted. "He wanted to enslave us all, not bring balance!"

The big bad sighed and shook his head. "Typical propaganda. Our lord shaped the world into his own image, yes, but did he ever truly, permanently harm anypony? He merely wanted you to see the world for what it is! Imbalanced! Too structured. Not enough fun." He chuckled again. "But it matters not at the moment. Our lord may have died in his current form, but I have no doubt that he will return! There must always be a god of chaos!"

Gulp.

"But now that we've gotten that out of the way..." The big bad lit his horn up again, and a bright light filled the room for a few seconds. When it faded away, the big bad had perched himself on the pulpit with a big grin. "Let's get this party started! The first order of business is, of course, to invite the guest of honor. So..." He started looking around the room, tapping his jaw like he was thinking about something. He must have figured something out, because he grinned again and pointed at a nearby mare. "You!"

The mare whimpered and backed away. "M-me?"

"Yes, you!" The big bad hopped off of the pulpit and walked up to her. "Since I am not of the belief that Prince Antares is all-knowing, I'm going to gather that he has absolutely no idea of what's going on. I need you to go get him for me. Of course, it's best if you also inform him that he is not to enter the premises under any circumstances." He tapped his jaw again. "In fact, why don't you ask him to invite his sister, too? I think she'll be most interested by the display."

Sometimes being born with the natural Powell snark has its issues. Most people would keep quiet when presented with something like that in a situation like this. To be fair, I didn't say a single thing. I almost did, though. I bit my tongue so hard I probably would have drawn blood if I wasn't the new me, or however you want to put it.

"B-but the door is barred!"

"The door?" The big bad scoffed and put his arm around the mare. "The door is so boring. So common. You're a pegasus, my dear. Use your imagination."

With that, the pony lit his horn up again, lifted up one of the pews, and threw it right through the nearest stained glass window, completely shattering it. Before the poor volun-told pony could say anything else, he grabbed her with his magic and threw her right out the window. There wasn't any glass left in the frame, so she didn't get cut up or anything, but dang I didn't want to be her. I heard her hit the ground on the other side, so I guess she was too shocked to right herself and fly away.

"She'll be fine. I didn't throw her that hard," the pony said as the two other unicorns took a big tarp out of one of their duffel bags and covered up the hole. "At any rate, we have more important things to do right now. This place is far too drab. Time to liven it up a little bit!"

With that little go-ahead, the two pegasus ponies flew up so they could stop the congregation from doing something stupid while the other five ponies began destroying every bit of the church they could get their hooves on. The smashed pews, threw rocks through the windows, splattered bright paint on all of the paintings they saw, put smoke bombs down the organ pipes...

Basically they were just being jerks.

"Come on, my good stallion, where's your sense of fun!" the big bad said, dancing up to Snap Feather and throwing an arm around his shoulder. "You should really let go a little. Come on, get in on this!"

"I will not desecrate this place, by your command or the command of any other being!" Snap Feather snarled. "This is a holy site!"

"This was a failed storefront before you bought it. Come on, take the stick out of your plot and live a little!"

Alright, these bozos can't hurt me. I didn't care if I couldn't activate my powers. Enough was enough.

"You're seriously a moron, you know that?"

The big bad waved his hoof, and destruction immediately stopped. His smirk came back as he walked up to me. "It appears I still need to explain a few things to you, my dear. You see--" Suddenly, his eyes widened for a few seconds, but he instantly went back to the smirk. "Oh. Ohoho. What have we here? Or rather, what don't we have here?" He chuckled and pointed at my rear. "No cutie mark. At your age? That's unfortunate. The only mare I know of with that particular issue is..." He licked his lips at me. Shudder. "Prince Antares's sister. The one that came back with him. The one who saw our lord's destruction."

I really hate it when all eyes are on me. Usually it means that I've done something stupid or something like that. I rubbed my arm and took a few steps back.

"You wanna back off, buddy?"

"Oh, hardly," Big Bad said, his grin widening. "I cannot believe our good fortune. Antares's sister! You, my dear, would make a perfect sacrifice to the lord of chaos!"

Before I could respond, he motioned to two of the unicorns, who lit up their horns and pulled some rope out of their duffel bags. My wings flared open on pure instinct, but they wrapped the ropes around my chest, pinning my wings to my sides, and tied my legs together. Without anything to balance with, I wobbled on my hooves for a few seconds then crashed to the floor. Come on, magic! I know they can't hurt me, but sheesh! I don't want to be tied up or anything. It's just uncomfortable. If I thought I was annoyed with them before...

"Has Antares arrived yet?" Big Bad said to one of the winged ones. He flew over to one of the stained glass windows next to the door. He peeked out and grinned.

"They've just arrived! He's here with a bunch of guards." The pony tilted his head. "He really doesn't look happy."

"I'd imagine not," Big Bad said airily. "However, I need you to inform him that he shall not enter this church if he wants his delusional followers to remain safe. If he harms you we shall execute one of the sheep in return."

The ponies in the crowd cried out again, but a few more orders quieted them down again. Meanwhile I started trying to figure out how to get out of the ropes, magical or otherwise. Gotta admit: good knots. I'd be impressed if it wasn't so annoying. Big Bad looked at me struggling on the ground and chuckled.

"It is useless, my dear. Once we show these sheep that your brother is not the god they think he is, we shall make our escape with you in tow. Then we may begin the ritual. Our lord will be reborn!"

"He's al--" I groaned and thunked my head on the ground. "You're an idiot. I just have to say that. You're not going to be able to get out of this."

"We've been planning this since our lord reclaimed Equestria. We knew that if Antares ever returned and ousted our lord we needed to act." Big Bad began pacing around me. "We used to be normal ponies, you know. Blinded by the supposed might of the alicorns. But then the war happened. We all lost something in it. The alicorns represent order and light, but did that stop the destruction? No. However, we saw the power of our lord once already! He could have stopped everything with one swipe of his claw. When he returned, we rejoiced! No more would the world suffer under war!"

"And you call us delusional," one of the ponies growled. "I was in the war too, you know! We fought for our freedom in that fight! You just want to hoof it over to some mad god that wanted to control us completely!"

"But he did not kill," Big Bad countered. "You would have been alive. There would be no war."

"But a lot of suffering!" another pony said. "He wouldn't have been a good ruler!"

Before Big Bad can respond, I heard my brother's voice like he's speaking through a megaphone. Like the one guy said: he didn't seem very happy.

"Hey assholes? You'd better start coming out now, or things are going to get messy! If you do not release these innocent ponies right now, I'm going to do some things I regret!"

Big Bad grimaced and lit his horn. A ball of light came out and went into his neck. "If you come in we shall harm your sheep!" he retorted, his voice magically louder. "Besides, we have another interesting guest in here that I think you would not appreciate being harmed!"

TD paused for a few moments, and if I knew him, he was probably trying to figure out what to do next. He'd probably got who Big Bad was talking about, though.

"So, my sister, then?"

"Exactly!" Big Bad said triumphantly. "You wouldn't want her harmed, I'm sure. Unless you would rather leave her to me. You do owe us, as a matter of fact. She was there, was she not? She was there when you murdered our lord! She's certainly seen what you can become. Shall we have her explain to these sheep that you murdered Lord Discord?" He picked me up with his magic and turned me to the crowd. "Tell them, whelp! Tell them what your brother did! He was cruel, wasn't he?"

I don't say anything. I just glared down at him and clenched my teeth. He scoffed and shook his head at my defiance.

“You would do well to follow my orders,” he growled. “We wouldn’t want us to hurt you, would you?”

“You already said that you’re going to sacrifice me to bring about the next chaos god,” I said through clenched teeth. “It’s not going to work, I can tell you that now.”

“And what does a female that has only been a pony for a few short days know of magic?” Big Bad sneered.

“I know that my brother is outside ready to kill you.” I looked around the church. “Where is the guy you sent to talk to him anyway?”

“He...” Big Bad looked around, a slight frown on his face. He cast the noise spell on himself again. “Antares, where is my colleague?!”

“He’s here with us,” TD replied. “I’ll give him back when you’ve released everypony in the church. That aside, I really think it’s a bad idea to harm my sister in the name of the chaos god.”

“Hardly,” Big Bad said. “I think it’s rather fair, don’t you? You killed Lord Discord, and now we’re going to take somepony close to you in response. Having said that, if you do not release my colleague this instant I will start killing! I may begin with the foals!”

“Oh that is it!”

With a cry of rage, light appeared around my hooves and the ropes holding me instantly turned into dust. I flared out my wings which sent out a shockwave that blew Big Bad and a few of his cronies back into the walls and the pews. One of the winged ponies fumbled with his crossbow for a few moments before pointing it at me and firing. I raised a hoof and the bolt turned into a rubber chicken before it could get anywhere near me.

“Alright you boneheads, listen up!” I stood up on one of the pews, my wings still flared. “You’re talking about sacrificing me to the next chaos god? Well spoiler: I’m the new chaos god! You were going to try to sacrifice me to bring about... me!”

Everybody in the room gasped, and the ponies who had been holding us hostage instantly fell on their faces and bowed to me. That did not actually help my mood.

“If I ever hear that anybody who claims to worship me has hurt anybody, I’m not going to be happy, do you understand?!”

“P-please, Lord Discord, we were merely trying to bring about your return!” one of the terrorists whimpered. “We--”

“I am not Discord!” I snarled, grabbing the pony’s head so he was face-to-face with me. “I’m Kristen! Got that? Kristen!”

“Y-yes, Lady Kristen, I--”

“Did I say ‘Lady Kristen’?!” I snapped. “Kri. Sten. That’s it. I may be the new chaos god, but I sure as heck don’t have to deal with your crap!”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Big Bad trying to crawl away. I wheeled around and pointed at him. “And where do you think you’re going?”

Big Bad gulped and uneasily chuckled as he tried scooting away. “M-My Lady, I... uh...”

“No, go ahead, I’m so interested to see how you’re going to explain your way out of this one.” I stomped up to him and put my hoof on his chest, pinning him to the floor. “What exactly were you going to do to me again?”

“Uh... well, I...” He uneasily rubbed the back of his neck. “I was... bluffing?”

I stared down at him for a few seconds. I’ve seen better excuses from children sneaking cookies out of the pantry. I would know. Me and TD were some of those children. Eventually I made a noise of disgust and walked over to the main door. “All of you are to stay right were you are. Throw your weapons down, too. As your god I command it, or whatever.” I instantly hear several weapons clatter to the floor. “Good. We’re done here.”

I put my hoof on the flagpole and it melted into molten metal, which actually didn’t seem to damage the floor all that much. Chaos. Sure. I threw the doors open and stepped inside to let TD walk in. A few guards followed and began arresting my “followers.”

“Don’t say a word, TD,” I growled. “Just... don’t.”

“Uh-huh.” He looked both nonplussed and a little amused. “My lips are sealed. Speaking of...” He turned to his followers, all of whom were looking at me with their jaws nearly on the floor. “I think it goes without saying, my followers, but none of you are to repeat what you have seen here. Your church was taken over by these ponies who were thwarted by my guard. Tell nopony anything else. Don’t even tell your dogs.”

“Y... yes, Prince Antares. Of course. Our lips are sealed,” Snap Feather said.

“Good.”

“Yeah and the same goes for you guys,” I said, motioning to the bad guys. “As your god or whatever I don’t care.”

I stomped out of the church, TD following closely behind me.

“Should I have somepony escort you back to the palace?”

“Don’t bother. I can take care of myself. Just... let me have some time alone, okay?”

TD stared at me for a few seconds but slowly nodded. “Yeah, yeah I can see how that’d be something you want. Just let me know you’re alright, okay?”

“I’m not going to run away or anything. I’ll be fine.”

With that, I walked away, leaving TD to clean up the mess at the church.

Great. Just great. I just wanted to get some air and that just ended with a bunch of misguided people who were going to sacrifice them and/or me to... me. Life is stupid. Really, really stupid.

I should have never jumped through that portal.

I took a shaky breath as I considered the events I’d just been through. A thought struck me that stopped me in my tracks. I seemed to be better with my chaos magic in there. I could control it a little bit. Maybe that was me just being pissed off, but...

I pointed my hoof at the ground. Maybe it would work this time!

“Chocolate chip cookie!”

Instantly a chocolate chip cookie appeared on the ground. I smiled as I took it in my hoof. Maybe this wouldn’t be totally awful. I popped the cookie in my mouth.

It tasted like crap.

Author's Note

A bit of a tonal shift, but I figured we all needed a breather chapter. At least, I hope I made it a bit amusing.

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Chaos Magic

"That will be all. Day Court is adjourned."

I watched the last of the petitioners file out of my throne room and took a deep breath. Day Court had gotten a little crazy since everything that had happened with Discord. Nothing on the level of the war, but definitely enough to be annoying. On the plus side, nopony seemed to have found out that Kristen was the new chaos god, so that was good. The ponies who attacked my church would be in prison for quite some time.

And would probably tell other prisoners.

Who might tell their families and friends when they get out.

And from there...

Ugh. I'd figure that out when the time came. I knew I couldn't keep it a secret forever. Ponies were going to start asking questions when a hundred years passed and Kristen didn't look a moment older.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I'd worry about that when the time came, and the time would come. Celestia and I were working on a strategy to make sure everything went as smoothly as possible. Kristen was not Discord, and we wanted to make that completely clear.

Speaking of Kristen, she should have been in the middle of her first Equestrian Studies class. I hopped off of my throne and stretched out my legs and wings. Might as well see how that's going.

I made my way down one of my palaces many hallways, leaving Tulip with whatever paperwork needed to be done, and reached the conference room I'd set aside for Kristen to be tutored in. It wouldn't really work if I just put her in first grade with a bunch of other foals. I cracked the door open and peeked inside the room.

"--And so with that, the minotaurs won the Battle of the Plains in 304 After Discord, bringing temporary stability to... Princess Kristen? Are you listening?"

Kristen's head was on her desk, her hooves on the sides of her head in a clear showing of frustration. When the teacher called her, she instantly snapped up.

"Yeah, sure. Totally. Minotaurs and the Battle of the Plains. Got it, Professor Binns."

The tutor raised an eyebrow at her. "It's 'Professor Blackboard', Princess Kristen. Please do try to remember that."

Kristen gritted her teeth, and I could tell she had several sarcastic retorts she'd like to give, but she held her tongue. I figured it was a good time to step in.

"So, how are things going?"

"Ah, they are going well, Prince Antares," Blackboard said, bowing low to me. "I am following my lesson plans to the letter."

"Yeah, that's great. Just awesome," Kristen said, her teeth still gritted. "I'm learning all kinds of wonderful things."

"Well, in any case, it might be time to stop for dinner. I don't know about you, Kristen, I'm getting hungry."

"Yep!" Kristen shot out of her chair and zipped over to me. "Starving. We'll pick this up tomorrow, Professor Bi... Blackboard."

"Very well, Princess Kristen." Blackboard bowed to the both of us, and I stepped aside so he could leave the room. Kristen poked her head out the door, waiting until Blackboard was at the end of the hallway before collapsing onto her haunches and running her hooves down her face.

"That was so boring!" she groaned. "He was talking about wars and stuff and he didn't make a moment of it interesting!"

"Yeah, I could guess from the nickname." I nudged Kristen to her hooves and walked with her to the dining room. "I hired him to get you caught up on things a little more... relevant, shall we say. Unless they're history professors in college, ponies don't really know all that much about the Battle of the Plains." I stuck my tongue out. "Which, yeah, is a stupid name for one of the most decisive battles in military history."

"Nope, nope, nope, I don't want to hear any more about that!" Kristen said, covering her ears with her wings. "I'm done with school for the day!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," I said, nudging her wings back down. "In any case, I'll go have a talk with him; try to get him to teach you about a little more modern history, unless it's really relevant like the history of Celestia and Luna."

"That does sound a little more interesting," Kristen admitted as we reached the dining room. "Maybe I can learn about some stuff with you, too."

"He'll probably want to cover that, yes." The two of us reached our seats and I paused for a moment to order grilled cheese and tomato soup for the two of us before resuming conversation. "Yeah, the war especially is a big deal. Equestria's whole... everything has been shaped by it. You can't just lose over sixty thousand ponies, shake up the world's political landscape by conquering lands and cities that had never seen a victorious invading army, on top of introducing weapons ponies hadn't even thought of before without things being shaken up a lot."

"Yeah, one of your guards was talking about some of that stuff with me. Blaze, I think his name was."

"Yep, he does kind of like talking about it. It was an interesting time for him." I smirked and shook my head. "It doesn't hurt that he has a bunch of mares swooning over him, not just because he's a veteran who at one point commanded the army, but because he has a nice facial scar to go along with it."

Kristen scoffed and shook her head. "Yeah, he definitely likes talking about it. Not like that other one. The one with the missing ear."

My smile instantly fell, and I looked down to the table and poked at the wood. "Yeah. Rapids. She worries me. I keep asking her to see a psychologist, but she always finds a way around it. I guess if she tries to work through it, it'll all become real for her, and she'll have to fully come to terms with the fact that the scars aren't going away and she's not getting her ear back either."

"You could order her to go see a counselor," Kristen pointed out.

"Yeah, I technically could, but I think that would breed a little resentment, and even more stubbornness. It would do more harm than good for sure."

"Maybe in the short term, but in the long run she might start opening up and realizing why you pushed her so hard." Kristen shrugged. "The alternative is letting her do this stuff forever, and I know it's affecting her performance as one of your guards."

"Yeah, it is. I keep feeling that if I gave her a little space she'd open up a little, but..." I sighed. "She's not the only pony who lost stuff in the war. Dozens of ponies lost stuff like legs and eyes, and she's not even the only pony who lost an ear."

"Yeah..." Kristen's ears flattened, and she rubbed one of her forelegs. "Yeah, she kinda... came up to me and asked if I could fix her. That didn't go so well."

My eyes widened. "Wait, when was that?"

"A couple of days ago. I didn't want to say anything because it weirded me out. She wasn't happy when I said I couldn't. Even if I hadn't been the chaos god for only a month, you and Celestia said that my magic isn't permanent yet because chaos and stuff. I couldn't fix her ear forever if I wanted to."

"Yeah, I know she's been looking for something to fix that. Anything to believe it never happened."

"Maybe she could get a fake ear made or something? Wear it with a string thin enough that she can hide it under her fur? Not sure about the scars."

"The fake ear is a possibility, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about that," I admitted. "In terms of the scar, they're prevalent enough that simple makeup isn't going to cover them. It would take a lot, and that would be noticeable." I shook my head. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just order her to go see a psychologist. No matter what she's feeling, she wouldn't disobey a direct order from me." I shook my head and waved my hoof. "Whatever. Let's not bother with that right now. I just had an entire day of court and I'd rather relax."

"Sounds good to me. Professor Binns is boring as all else!" Kristen rubbed her hooves together and focused on a spot on the table. "Practicing my chaos magic is a lot more fun anyway."

"Maybe at some point you'll make food that's actually edible?" I grimaced at her. "And not take bites out of the dining room table when you get really frustrated?"

"One time," Kristen growled. "I took a bite out of the table one time three weeks ago and you're never going to forget it."

"Well, to be fair, it is kind of a unique thing, and we alicorns have a really long memory. Put yourself in my shoes for a bit here: your sibling is the master of all chaos and they just took a bite out of the table. And it didn't even taste good, did it?"

"Oh shut up. I'm working on it, okay?" Kristen focused on the table and put her hooves out like she was going to shoot lightning out of them. "Apple pie!"

Nothing.

"You were doing fine with the cookies the other day. They started to taste like something resembling passable."

"They're not as complicated, now hush." She narrowed her eyes and pointed at the table again. Her ears perked up when a single apple appeared on the table. I was about to congratulate her on her success when the apple levitated a few hooves into the air, twitched for a second, then dissolved into a pile of mush. Kristen groaned and thunked her head on the table.

"Uh... that was... better?"

Kristen shot me a sideways glare. "I guess it is a different kind of failure." She grimaced and looked at her hooves. "I'm better when I'm really stressed or upset, for some reason."

"Well, magic is tied to emotion," I pointed out. "That's why you succeeded in doing stuff when my church got taken over. You were pretty pissed off."

"Yeah, yeah," Kristen grumbled.

"Hey, don't worry about it," I said, draping a wing over her back. "You'll get a lot better. You'll control it, not your emotions. I had similar problems when I first ascended. Every magic user goes through this."

Kristen wiggled out from under my wing and pushed herself farther away. "Yeah, I guess, but I'm twenty seven now. A little old to not know how to do something that kids are doing."

I frowned at her. "No, not really, especially when you've only had powers for a month now. Trust me: you're still a lot farther along than most one month old unicorn foals."

"Oh well then that makes it all better," Kristen snarked. "I'm doing better than a newborn. Yay."

I shot her a glare. "Come on, no need for the attitude. I get that it's frustrating, trust me. I got really pissed off in that fight with Celestia when I couldn't do anything other than shoot out a few sparks or even fly to fight her. But I learned pretty quickly. On the whole you're far more powerful than I am, or at least you probably will be after a few decades or so."

Kristen stuck her tongue out at me and crossed her forelegs. "And when I get to that point you're going to get it."

Heh, I knew she was joking, I really did, but that didn't make her statement any less uncomfortable. Given what Celestia had told me about Discord's history, it sounded like a dark road that I didn't want my sister to go down. If I had to put my only link to my old life in stone because she got power hungry... I didn't want to think about that.

Kristen must have noticed my silence, because her smile fell and she flattened her ears. "I'm not gonna be like him, okay? You're not going to have to fight me off with the Elements because I plan on ruling the world. I don't want the world, TD. Don't know what I'd do with it."

I gave her a weak smile and nodded. "Yeah, of course not. I know that you were joking, it's just that I guess I'm still a little sore about what Discord did to me and my family. You're not going to go down that path. Of course not."

What about in a thousand years? I... no, that's stupid. I know Kristen. She's not like that.

"Well then let's not talk about it anymore," Kristen said, turning to the meal that had just been set before us. I opened my mouth to say something, but she held out a hoof to silence me. "Okay, I can do this. Just a little..." Kristen waved her hoof over her grilled cheese like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. It wasn't encased in any magic, but it shook on the table, then floated a few hooves into the air. Kristen let out a little squeal of happiness and took a bite.

"Interesting," I said as I watched her eat. "I noticed that you had a better hold of it when you were happy about your success."

Kristen shrugged and swallowed her bite. "Yeah, I guess so. What's your point?"

"Well, you remember what I said about magic being tied to emotion? I think I have an idea."

* * * *

A few days later Kristen and I were standing in her room. I noticed that she hadn't done too much to personalize it, but she had managed to get rid of the spots on the carpet alongside all of the other damage she did when she freaked out. All of that suited me just fine. I wanted everything to be as ‘normal’ as I could. It would make for a better starting point.

"So are you going to tell me your idea now?" Kristen grumbled. "Your silence has been killing me."

"Well, then it won't kill you any longer." I motioned to the contents of the room. "So, you've been practicing your chaos magic around the room to try to personalize it a little bit, right?"

"Yeah, but that hasn't been working out so well."

"Right. But I got an idea from when I saw you eat the grilled cheese the other day." I smiled and turned to her. "So I said that magic is tied to emotion, right? Well, because I wasn't thinking I didn't see the other side of that. So far your magic has been triggered by extreme anger or frustration. Negative emotions. What happens, I wonder, when you try to use your magic when you're feeling really happy? I know that's been really hard with everything that's been happening lately, but I think I've figured out a way to fix that."

Kristen raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. "Oh yeah? What?"

I opened the door behind us and motioned to one of the servants who came in with a large metal box floating beside him, which had been filled nearly to the top with water. I took it from him with my own magic and gently set it down between Kristen and I.

"Kristen, I feel you might have felt a bit lonely lately, what with being in a strange land and your only connection to your past life is constantly busy ruling an entire nation that's recovering from a brutal war. So I thought you could use a little buddy."

I slid the lid off of the box and motioned for Kristen to peer inside. She slowly moved closer to it, eyeing both me and the box with suspicion, then glanced inside. Her eyes instantly widened and she let out an ear-piercing squee that I'm certain woke up several of Luna's guards.

"Is that an octopus?!"

I smiled and nodded. "Yes. Not just any octopus. Your octopus."

Kristen shakily sat down and put her hoof on the side of the box. "Oh my gosh. My own pet octopus!" Kristen looked up at me with the largest grin I'd ever seen on her face. "I'm going to name him Bob!"

"Bob it is, then," I said, sitting next to the box and looking inside. Bob looked to be a fairly normal looking octopus about the size of my hoof. He lazily floated in his temporary container, seemingly without a care in the world. From what I'd learned of octopi, he was exceptionally intelligent. Him and Kristen would probably get along quite nicely.

"So, does he have a better aquarium than this, or what?" Kristen dipped a hoof into the water and poked at Bob. "He can't stay in there forever."

"Nope he sure can't, but that's where you come in." I motioned to the room. "It's your job to make Bob his own little space. Make it as big as you want, decorate it and fill it with what you'd like, but you're going to have to make it from scratch. Because you can't make your magic permanent yet, I'll help you solidify it so that it's not going to just revert back after a short time."

"Yeah, yeah, sounds good," Kristen said, rubbing her hooves and grinning. “So I think I'll put it right... there!" She pointed to a corner of the room that hadn't been decorated that much. I held my breath. This was a big gamble I was doing here, and if she couldn't pull it off then she'd get really down and that would make it harder to get her skills up. A lot of magic was about confidence.

However, after a few seconds, a giant aquarium that looked like it could hold at least three hundred gallons popped into existence. I was about to congratulate Kristen on her success, but she frowned and waved it away, reducing it to a wisp of smoke.

"No, no, that's not right. I don't want Bob to live in an aquarium. How about... A swimming pool!"

"Wait, a wha--?"

Before I could stop her, Kristen waved her hoof and a swimming pool like the kind you'd find at a rec center appeared, taking up half of her room and going from wall-to-wall from the door to the opposite wall. It was already filled with water. Kristen nodded and walked up to it. She dipped her hoof into the pool, then brought it out and licked it.

"Yep, salt water. Ocean salt water, in fact. Perfect for an octopus." Kristen giddily bounced up to Bob's container and effortlessly lifted it into the air with her magic. She flipped it open and dumped Bob right into the swimming pool before diving in right after him. I cast a shield around the pool, which was a good thing in hindsight. Water would have gone everywhere otherwise.

Kristen sighed contentedly and let her wings push her through the water while Bob explored his new home. Kristen glanced down to him and righted herself. "He's going to want places to hide and some stuff to explore." She shot her hooves through the water and the bottom of the pool became covered with sand and small rocks of the type one would find on the floor of a sea. With more waving hollow rocks and seashells appeared alongside a clear plastic container filled with what looked to be PVC pipe. "Let's see how quickly you get through that, Bob!"

"So, you seem to be enjoying this," I said, walking up to my sister with a grin.

"Totally! I have a pet octopus and..." Her smile faded as the realization of everything hit her. "Did I just create a fifteen meter deep swimming pool out of thin air with everything an octopus might need to be happy?"

I laid down in front of the pool and nodded. "You sure did. Cookies don't seem to be so hard now, do they?"

Kristen blushed and poked at the surface of the water. "Yeah, I guess not. I saw the stuff that Discord did, but I never thought I'd actually be able to pull it off, you know?"

"Well you're still potentially centuries away from gaining that kind of power, but I think this is a nice start, don't you?"

Kristen's smile returned, and she looked down at Bob who darted into one of the seashells. "Yeah, I guess it is." Kristen used her wings to get halfway out of the water and she pulled me into a hug. "Thanks, TD. I needed this a lot. I haven't been happy like this since I came here."

"You're welcome," I said, returning the hug. “You're my sister. I may be a pony who can raise the sun and moon and lead wars, and you might be the avatar of chaos, but that's never going to change."

"Good." She broke away from the hug and sunk into the water up to her neck. "So if you don't mind, I could use a little help making this more... permanent."

I chuckled and got to my hooves. "I think I can help you with that."

Author's Note

So for those of you who didn't read the blog post on the subject, I changed Titus's name to Nymeria. Much more feminine while still being relevant to her planned personality. Sorry this took so long to get out, but I've been in a writing mood since I saw the movie. So yay. And speaking of that blog post, I've released the Antares movie story. So check it out here!

Day-To-Day

I whistled a jaunty tune as I trotted up to the door of Kristen's room. I knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds. When I didn't hear anything, I knocked again.

"Come on, Kristen, it's time to get up. We have a full day ahead of us."

I heard a groan coming from the other side of the door followed by the sound of somepony getting out of water. After a few moments the door opened and Kristen gave me a bleary-eyed look. She was still dripping wet from her pool.

"What time is it?" she grumbled.

"It just hit six-thirty. Time's a-wastin'. We have a lot to do today."

Kristen looked back longingly at her swimming pool. "Do I have to?" she groaned. "Can't I just sleep in for a little while longer?"

"I've already let you sleep in a bit. We have to get some breakfast before we head out to Vanhoover. It's a four hour train ride, so you can get a little sleep on the way there."

"Right. Right. Vanhoover." She let out a spectacular yawn and scratched her chest. "What were you gonna do there? Some school thing?"

"I'm giving a talk about our government to one of the schools there, yes." I lit my horn and quickly dried Kristen off with a spell. She grunted in irritation and waved her hoof at me. "But we can't be late. That's not very royal of us, Princess Kristen."

Kristen glared up at me and gave me a gesture with one of her wings that one should really never, ever, ever make to royalty. She's my sister though, so after checking to see if anyone was around, I returned it, eliciting a small smirk from her. She yawned again and walked out of her room, shutting the door behind her.

"You are not a morning person, TD," Kristen grumbled. "How on earth are you so chipper?"

"Possibly because I knew it would be irritating to you, but mostly because as an alicorn I don't really need that much sleep. Besides, I'm married to the Princess of the Sun. The day literally cannot start without her, so whenever I'm in Canterlot I tend to get up when she does."

"Yeah, yeah." Kristen yawned again as we made our way to the dining room. "You'd think I wouldn't need sleep either. I'm..." She stopped herself and looked around the hallway, shooting an uneasy smile to a passing servant. "Um... I'm me."

"Well, the best I can figure is that you're still making the transition between normal pony and what Discord was. Give it a couple hundred years or so and you probably won't need to eat or sleep." I frowned and tilted my head when a thought struck me. "Although, would you be able to sleep at all? Eating would be no problem, but would you have the power to make yourself fall asleep?"

"I hope so," Kristen grumbled as we reached the dining room. "Even if I won't need sleep, there's still nothing like going to bed after a long day."

"True."

Kristen collapsed onto her seat and rested her head on the table. I smirked, loaded up a few things for her, and pushed the plate next to her head. "Here. Eat something or you'll be grumpy the rest of the day." I prodded her with the plate. "Come on, you can sleep on the train."

"This isn't right," Kristen groaned, reaching a hoof out and snatching a piece of bacon off of the plate. "Why can't the day start at a reasonable hour?"

"This is a reasonable hour." I poked her shoulder. "Come on, once you get going you'll be fine. Here, try some of this." I poured her a big cup of coffee and placed it in front of her. She raised her head and gave it a bleary look before hooking her foreleg through the handle and downing the entire thing in one go. Guess godhood had made her more tolerant to coffee.

Kristen glared at the empty cup and stuck out her tongue before pushing it back to me. "Blegh. Is that how you drink it?"

Or maybe not. "No, I tend not to drink coffee." I downed my drink and took a few more slices of fruit for the road. "Alright, it's just about to hit seven. We should be at the train station by seven-thirty." I prodded her with my wing. "So up and at-em."

Kristen groaned and got up out of her chair, stretching like a cat before taking her place beside me. "And you said I could sleep on the train, right?"

"Sure can, though I'm not sure how well you will. That coffee is pretty much the most caffeinated beverage in Equestria. It's meant to wake alicorns up if we need it. It should hit you any second now."

Kristen raised her eyebrow. "Really? Well I don't feel like..." Her eyes widened and she flinched back, flaring out her wings so quickly they almost smacked me in the face. "Whoa! Yep! Feeling it now!" She roughly shook her head like a dog and lightly slapped her face. "Geez, what's in that stuff, nitroglycerine?"

I smirked and shook my head. "No, not quite. Like I said: it's specifically bred for us. Pretty expensive stuff, which is too bad considering how much of it Luna drinks. On the subject of nitroglycerine though, if you did drink it, it wouldn't kill you. At some point you're going to be able to conjure up a drink that's just pure nitro and down it like water."

Kristen stuck her tongue out. "Yuck, that sounds awful. Why would I do that?"

I shrugged. "Dunno, it's just a power you're going to have. Give it a few hundred years and you'll probably like it just fine."

"I think I'll give that a hard pass." Kristen frowned and tilted her head as a thought crossed her. "So, if that coffee was widely available, how much would it cost in the average, what, Ponybucks or something?"

I snorted and grinned widely. "Actually yes. In terms of cost..." I frowned and tilted my head as I did some quick calculations on the current coffee market, the price of the average cup at Ponybucks, the cost to the crown to buy it in bulk... "I'd say the average cup would be about two hundred bits."

Kristen's eyes widened and she actually stopped walking beside me. "Wait, that was a two hundred dollar cup of coffee I just drank?!"

"Bits, not dollars, but yes." I tapped my jaw as a thought struck me and I did a few more quick calculations. "I might be a little off, but from what I know of both economies, I'd say it's about one point six five bits to the dollar."

"Wait..." Kristen squeezed her eyes shut and started walking beside me again. "How would you even know all of that? You sucked at math."

"It is something I had to get better at, yes. I had to study a lot of economics when I first ascended. It helps with a lot of rulings if you know the supply and demand of different goods and services when the relevant cases show up in court." I shrugged. "I'd have to do a little more in-depth analysis of both economies to get the exact number, but I think I'm fairly close."

"Unbelievable."

The two of us were silent the rest of the way to my royal chariot. Kristen walked a little closer to me when we passed a bunch of my guards, all of whom bowed to me. We made it out of the palace and quickly went to the landing area for the chariot. We were a touch behind schedule, but nothing we couldn't make up during the flight to the train.

I stepped aside and motioned into the chariot to let Kristen get in first, but she grimaced and didn't get in. "I dunno, TD. Can't I fly alongside it this time?" She stretched her wings and gave them an experimental flap. "I do need to practice my flying and if I get too tired I could just go back into the chariot for some rest."

I grimaced and shook my head. "Not sure that's a good idea. You're not the best at flying straight yet, and you still have some trouble taking off. I promise that we'll practice your flying when we get back tonight, alright?"

Kristen grimaced, but nodded. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." She poked my chest as she passed me to get into the chariot. "But I'm holding you to that, mister."

"A promise is a promise." I stepped into the chariot behind her and nodded to the pegasi pulling it. They nodded back and spread their wings as one of the servants closed the door to the chariot behind us. As usual, Kristen grabbed the side of the chariot when it took off as though she'd be thrown out from the movement. Once she felt steady, she laid down on her seat and tried to close her eyes. It only lasted a few seconds before she sat back up with a frown.

"Dang. Yeah, that's a strong cup of coffee. I feel like I've been hit with a baseball bat."

I smirked at her. "So you won't be partaking again?"

Kristen shook her head. "Not unless it's an emergency, but I can't imagine what that emergency could possibly be." She smirked back at me. "Aside from deranged mutant killer monster snow goons, of course."

I nodded sagely. "Of course. That hasn't come up, but I'll have to add it to their file in the Hall of Potential Villains as a good way to defeat them."

"So you and Celestia have a lot in the HPV department?"

I rolled my eyes. "In any case, we'll find something else for you for breakfast if you don't want that."

"Maybe just a cup of sugar since I probably won't have any negative health issues from anything I eat or drink." She stuck out her tongue. "Thank goodness."

"We'll see, I suppose."

Kristen peered over the side of the chariot as we approached the train station, once again gripping the side as we made our descent.

"I don't know how you get used to that," she grumbled.

"Says the pegasus," I pointed out.

"When I land I'm in control. With this..." She grunted and shook her head, stepping out of the chariot with wobbly legs once we'd landed. "Not quite as much."

"In any case, you'll probably get used to it soon enough. You do have an eternity to get used to anything, really."

Kristen glared at me. "Oh, yeah, that helps. Besides, if ponies are still using chariots ten million years from now, there are some serious issues. You guys have the technology available for cars, you know."

"We do, but at the same time I don't see them catching on very well. I'd want to create a car with less pollution before one could be released for general use."

Kristen shrugged as the two of us made our way onto the train, nodding to the various ponies who were bowing to us. "Dunno. They were working on self-driving cars before I got here." Kristen flopped onto one of the train seats and draped her foreleg over her eyes. "In any case, I'm glad we're on the train. It feels much more stable." Kristen stayed silent for a few more moments before groaning and flopping onto her stomach. "I really wanted to sleep on the train, but curse you and your coffee."

I chuckled and opened up a briefcase so I could get started on some paperwork during the journey. "Yeah, well, like I said: it's for waking up alicorns. We're ponies who need an entire brewery to get a little buzzed."

I picked up a quill and went to my giant stack of paperwork, so the train was pretty silent. Kristen was lying on the bench with her eyes closed, trying to get back to sleep but that wasn't happening. She groaned and grimaced before opening one of her eyes.

"That's a lot of paperwork."

I nodded and slid one of the pages I had finished with over to a small stack which one of my servants put back into a briefcase. "Yeah, it takes a lot to run a nation. A lot of this is tax stuff and court cases. The latter is obviously more interesting than the former, but it can also get a little petty. This for example." I took about five pages out of the pile and flipped it around to show it to her. "This is the case of two ponies who are arguing about what one of them is owed for a day's work versus the other one. One of the ponies did a full twelve hours while the other worked six, and the employer is mad because she signed a contract paying them both equally but feels she was cheated out of six hours of work."

"Okay, so what does she want to do?" Kirsten asked, taking the papers out of my grasp and scanning the front page. "Like you said: she signed a contract."

"Yes, but she's also claiming that there was a clause in the contract that said she didn't have to pay the full amount if there wasn't a full day's work, but the other pony is saying that there wasn't one when he signed the contract. Both sides have signed contracts backing up their story, but both are saying that the other's contract is false."

"So... basically you have to find out who's lying." Kristen flipped to the second page and tilted her head. "So what are you going to do with the liar, whomever that may be?"

"Well if it's the worker then he's obviously not going to get his money at all. If it's the employer then she's naturally going to have to pay the whole thing. However, whomever is lying is going to get into more trouble because falsifying a contract is a no-no. Around a ten thousand bit fine and ninety days in jail, depending on the severity of it. Something on the smaller end like this would probably have that penalty, while falsifying documents like IDs and passports and tax forms is a lot more severe."

"Hm." Kristen flipped to the third page and put it down in front of her to read it more easily. "So basically this boils down to who's lying. Do you have to deal with this stuff a lot?"

I nodded and started on another case. "Pretty much every day. Feel free to read through that one all the way if you'd like and give me your ruling on it."

Kristen looked up from the document and frowned at me. "What? You want my opinion on it?"

"Certainly. I'm curious to hear what you think. It's not a difficult case. Everything you need to know is right in those pages." I levitated the stack of papers I was going through and flipped through the pages. "If it was a little more difficult it would be sixty-five pages like this one is."

Kristen stuck out her tongue and looked back down at the case she had. "No thanks. I'll stick with this one."

She flipped back to the second page and frowned with a tilt of her head before going back to the third page. The train car was silent as the two of us read through our respective cases. Truth be told mine wasn't overly difficult either. It just had a few more working pieces to it, but other than that it was fairly straightforward as my cases went. I had faith that Kristen would figure hers out. I already had.

After a few more minutes of total silence, save for the sound of pages rustling, Kristen spoke up again. "So, I think I got it."

"Yeah?" I put my case down. "What do you have?"

"Well, I saw on page four that the worker had filed his contract at the local town hall the day he was supposed to be working, which is one of the reasons he didn't work the whole day. The employer didn't file anything, so of the two the worker has proof of the validity of his contract."

"Possibly, but the worker could have made his fake and submitted it."

"It does look a little suspicious that he took the time to immediately file the contract," Kristen admitted. "It's like he knew he wouldn't be working the whole day."

"Perhaps, but there's something you're missing. Something that blows this whole case wide open." I flipped to the back page which had the contracts on it. "It's fairly simple. The worker's contract is the one on the right."

Kristen peered down at the contracts and frowned, sticking her tongue out thoughtfully. "I don't..." Her eyes widened and she put her hoof up to her mouth. "No. No one is that dumb."

"'Fraid so," I admitted. "There's a public perception that all cases like this are difficult and both sides are really smart and it takes all of my intellectual prowess to figure it out. Not so here."

"Yeah, but misspelling the name of the farm you worked on?" She scoffed and shook her head. "That's... wow. That's... why not just work the extra six hours? It would be much simpler than all of this. He'd have to work harder to copy the contract, submit it into town hall's records, then fight the employer in court with you than to just pick peaches for an extra six hours."

"Yep. Some ponies will go to great lengths to be lazy."

"And in the end it's going to cost him way more."

"Most definitely. Hopefully he won't do it again. Equestrian prisons aren't the criminal colleges that they are on Earth, so he should come out the other side a much wiser stallion."

"One would hope, but you never know."

"Definitely." I picked up the paperwork and hoofed it over to my servant. "In any case, that's a fair portion of my job. Like I said: I handle cases like that pretty much every day. It's honestly not unlike watching children argue, except a lot of the foals I see are more intelligent and mature than some of the cases I get. My first ever case was two ponies arguing about who was at fault for twenty bits worth of wheat getting ruined." I shrugged and went back to the pile of paperwork. "In any event, you want to look at another case to pass the time? I've got two or three more like that in here."

"Yeah, sure," Kristen said, taking the papers I gave her and laying them out on her seat. I'm glad that she decided to do so. It would really help with the boredom of the train ride to Vanhoover.

The two of us were silent for the rest of the train ride except for the occasional question or comment from Kristen about the cases she was looking through. By the end of it I think she got better at spotting the small details that cracked open cases. Eventually the train slowed down and I hoofed the paperwork we were in the middle of to my servant before standing up out of my seat and stretching my legs and back with a satisfying groan. Kristen stood up beside me and cracked her neck.

"Finally. I thought we'd never get here," Kristen groaned.

"Well we do have to do the ride back in a few hours. I have a bunch more cases to read over so we won't have nothing to do."

"That's something then, I guess," Kristen admitted as the two of us were led out of the train and into a private carriage for our trip to the local elementary school. We chatted about nothing in particular for the half hour ride to the schoolhouse, and before we knew it, we had arrived.

Kristen and I looked out the window and saw the school, which was about three times the size of Ponyville's schoolhouse. That wasn't too much of a surprise, given that the population of Vanhoover was much higher than Ponyville's. They had put up a giant banner over the entrance of the school that said "Welcome Prince Antares!" in bold red paint. Students and faculty lined the sidewalk into the school, cheering my name and they'd even gotten the school's band to play the Equestrian national anthem...

Poorly, but it was the thought that counted.

Kristen and I stepped out of the carriage to rambunctious applause from the gathered ponies. I smiled and waved at all of them, gently nudging Kristen to do the same. She put on her best smile and gave her best attempt at the "royal wave" that she had been practicing. She... needed a touch more practice.

"Fillies and colts, mares and gentlestallions, I thank you for your warm welcome," I said once the crowd noise had died down a little bit. "My sister and I are looking forward to spending some time in your lovely school today. I'm certain that it will be a wonderful experience for us all."

The crowd began cheering again and a pony who looked like the school's principal, if the name tag she wore saying as much was any indication, walked up to me and bowed.

"Prince Antares, Princess Kristen, I welcome you. I am Principal Blackboard, and it is a great honor to have you in our school." She stood up and stepped aside, motioning to the entrance. "If you wouldn't mind following me to my office, Your Majesties?"

"Of course, Miss Blackboard. Lead the way," I said.

Principal Blackboard bowed her head again and led us into the school. I smiled and waved my wing at the various schoolchildren around me, some of whom were holding posters with simple drawings of myself welcoming me to the school. They had the usual quality of foals' drawings, some of them were just peach blobs with another blob for my mane, and an arrow pointing to me saying "Prinse Antaris", but I loved them. They'd put a lot of work into them.

Having said that, I could look into the crowd and see the foals who would probably have something artistic as their cutie mark.

We entered the school behind the principal and she led us straight into her office. She opened up the door and let us walk in first before taking her spot behind her desk as two of my guards took up spots beside the door. Kristen sat down on a chair opposite the principal but I, being bigger than anypony else in the room, merely stood. The principal glanced at the chairs and flattened her ears.

"Oh... um... my apologies, Prince Antares. I did not think to get you a chair you could sit on."

I smiled warmly at her and waved my hoof. "Don't worry about that. I rather doubt that you have a chair my size anyway. In any case, the assembly starts in fifteen minutes?"

Principal Blackboard nodded. "Yes, that should give the students enough time to file into the gym. I must say, they've been looking forward to this for a few weeks. I assure you that they'll be on their best behavior."

"And even if they're not, I doubt they'd do anything too bad," I said. "They're just foals."

"I do hope you're right," Principal Blackboard said, running her hoof down the side of her face. "But I'm certain that you know how they can be."

"For sure, but I'm also sure that you have a group of wonderful foals. Besides, I'm the prince of education. They should respect that."

"I hope so."

"One more thing, Principal Blackboard," Kristen began. "You, uh, wouldn't happen to have a cousin or sibling or something that works in Baltimare?"

Principal Blackboard smirked at Kristen and crossed her arms. "Is he the one tutoring you?"

Kristen grimaced and facehooved. "Yes. Yes he is."

"I'm sorry. I know he can be a bit... dry."

"That's an understatement," Kristen said through gritted teeth.

"Little late for me to change tutors now, I'm afraid," I said. "Trust me, it wouldn't go over well." Kristen groaned and facehooved while Principal Blackboard stifled a giggle behind her hoof. "In any case, we should be headed to the assembly soon. I'm sure they're going to get restless if they don't have anything to do."

"We have a little time, but I can see your point," Principal Blackboard said. "Do you have any plans for afterward? I'd love to give you a tour of the school."

"Let's see what time it is after the assembly," I said. "We have to catch our train back to Baltimare in a few hours. If I have the time, though, I'd love to see the school."

"Well we'd love to have you," Principal Blackboard said. "You have a lot of supporters here, especially after all of the strides you made to improve the educational system. Don't think the parents and the foals haven't noticed either."

"Oh, I figured that," I said, my gaze flicking up to a picture of me placed on the wall behind the principal's desk. I briefly wondered if it was there to intimidate the foals who were in trouble for whatever reason. If so, I didn't like the idea, but could also see the logic behind it.

"In any case, we should probably get going," I said. Kristen and Principal Blackboard both stood up from their seats, and I opened the door so that we could all head to the assembly. Kristen and Principal Blackboard both chatted about her relative while we made our way to the gym, and I heard the din of the chattering foals as we neared it.

Principal Blackboard put on some speed and passed us, lighting her horn to open up the metal double doors of the gym. I nodded in thanks and walked past her, Kristen and my guards following close behind her. The mass of foals had been herded onto the bleachers, and were all chatting among themselves about this or that. Likely the usual stuff that happens during the day at an elementary school.

Our group walked into the middle of the room and the foals all stood up and cheered the moment they spotted me. I smiled and waved at them again for a few moments before raising my hoof to about chest level to get them to calm down.

"Fillies and colts, I thank you for your welcome to your fine school. I am honored to see the support you are showing me." A knowing smirk crossed my face as I scanned the faces of the various foals. "And I also imagine that you're all happy to get out of third period math."

The foals all giggled and began chatting again, but I raised my hoof again and they stopped talking.

"Now, as I'm sure you've been told, I'm here to talk about how our government works, and also to answer any questions that you have. This is a time to ask me anything."

"Dude, you probably shouldn't be doing an AMA," Kristen muttered beside me. "You know how those can be."

"This isn't the internet, and I'm their ruler," I whispered back. "It'll be fine."

"Idiot," Kristen grumbled.

"Now, a lot of ponies when they talk about me say that I'm a monarch," I began, ignoring my sister. "They're not exactly right. Princess Celestia was a monarch back before Princess Luna came back because she was the only one ruling. When Princess Luna came back, they became a diarchy. Since I'm here, though, Equestria's government became what it called, and I know this is a big word, a triumvirate. So that's what Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and myself are. Princess Cadance can be called a monarch because she is the main ruler in the Crystal Empire."

I could see the foals were all staring at me with rapt attention, but I saw some confusion on their faces. I guess triumvirate is a big word. For the next half hour or so I went into some more details about the government, especially stuff like court and the obscene amounts of paperwork I did. I made it very clear to them that we all do a ton of work to make sure that they're happy and taken care of. They seemed to get it well enough. I finished up my lecture and then opened up the floor for any questions. Instantly the hooves of seemingly every foal shot up. Well, at least they were interested. I pointed to a filly in the front row. She slowly stood up and looked at the ground, scuffing her hoof on the gym floor.

"Um... hi, Prince Antares. I was just wondering about Princess Kristen. She's your sister from Earth and she was a human like you, so I was wondering if she's gonna rule, too."

"Well, Princess Kristen hasn't been in Equestria that long, and it was about a year or so after I came to Equestria that I became a ruler." I turned to Kristen. "It's up to her, really."

"Um... yeah, we'll see," Kristen said, rubbing the back of her hoof. "I mean, it's a big responsibility, like my brother said."

"She's right," I said. "It's a big decision."

"If she says yes, is she gonna get a horn, too?" the filly asked. "'Cause I heard that you can only be a ruler if you have wings and a horn."

"I mean... yeah, I kind of doubt it," Kristen said. "Like Prince Antares and I said, I have a lot of thinking to do. This is a new place for me. It's not like Earth, that's for sure." She gave the filly a warm smile. "But... um, yeah, you know. I like it here so far."

"Next question," I said as I scanned the crowd. I pointed to a colt in the back row.

"So my dad said that you married Princess Celestia," he said.

"That's right, I did," I said with a smile. "We're very happy together with our daughter Princess Nymeria."

"Yeah, so Princess Celestia is an alicorn like you, and you're the only pony that she's had a baby with. Are you gonna have a baby with Princess Luna since she's also an alicorn, too?"

"Oh, um..." I glanced over at Kristen who had a barely noticeable smile on her face. I cleared my throat and turned my attention back to the colt. "I mean, I'm married to Princess Celestia and I lover her very much. Princess Luna is going to be happy with somepony, I think."

The colt frowned and tilted his head, but nodded and sat back down, allowing me to pick somepony else. I decided on a filly in the third row.

"So, I heard my mom say that you fought Discord when he got outta stone."

My smile faltered, but I nodded at her. "Yes, that's right. I want to protect all of my subjects."

"Yeah, but my mom said that you killed him and he's not in stone anymore. Is she right?"

"Uh..." I let out a noise that was a cross between a chuckle and clearing my throat. "Discord isn't going to be a problem anymore. I'd rather leave it at that." I looked over at the group of foals again. "Anypony else have a question?" They all raised their hooves as a thought struck me. "Also, I'd rather you guys not ask questions about the war. It was a sad, scary time, and we're past that. We should be thinking about happy stuff now, right?"

Instantly about half of the foals put their hooves down. Yeah, that's what I thought. I pointed to another filly.

"So I wanted to ask you about Earth, if that's okay, Princess Kristen. I've always wanted to hear stories about it!"

"I can see that. Hmm..." Kristen tapped her jaw in thought. "I need to think of a good story. Well, there was this interesting time when the Canadian prime minister, Canada being my country, was kind of in trouble with his parliament and really didn't handle it right. They kept asking him if he'd met with this ethics committee..."

And so for the next hour or so we regaled the happy foals with crazy stories about our life and Earth. They all enjoyed it considerably, and my announcement that I needed to go back to Baltimare was met with a collective "aaawwww!" I promised them that I'd be back.

We made it to our train on time and spent the ride back mostly relaxing, but about an hour out I started up on paperwork again while Kristen dozed off a little bit on her seat after a quick lunch.

We made it back to Baltimare with a little time to spare, which just meant that I had a little more time to read over my paperwork before court.

"Alright, I have court in about twenty minutes. Do you want to just hang out in your room, or would you like to join me?"

Kristen tilted her head in thought as we went in the direction of my courtroom. She glanced down the hallway to her room when we passed it, but ultimately shrugged. "I mean, yeah sure. It'll be interesting to see what you do."

"Good, then you can be my consigliere for the day. Don't worry, it's not a hard job, and you even get a hat."

"A hat," Kristen said flatly as we walked over to my throne room. "And why would I get a hat?"

"All consiglieres of mine get hats," I replied. "It's just how things are done. It's a nice hat."

"Uh-huh."

We entered my throne room through the back door and even though the main doors to my throne room were closed, I could hear the din of ponies chattering among themselves as they waited in line for my court to start. I motioned for Kristen to sit down at the seat next to my throne and levitated the consigliere hat onto her head. She rolled her eyes but adjusted the hat so it fit more comfortably. I smiled and nodded at her before turning to the guards standing next to the doors.

"Alright, send the first case in."

The guards nodded and opened up the doors as I organized the small mountain of paperwork next to my throne, taking out the relevant paperwork for the case we would be starting with. I had to hide a smirk when I saw that it was the case that I'd been discussing with Kristen, which was good. It would ease her into things.

"This is the case of Miss Peach Tree vs Mister Great Idea," my guard said as the two ponies walked up to my throne.

Mister what now?

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kristen trying to hold back a smirk, but doing a rather poor job of it. Thankfully the two ponies were more interested in me than her. They both reached my throne and bowed low to me and agreed to go under oath.

"You may rise," I said, stomping my hoof on the armrest of my throne. "Now, I have read over the case and have my thoughts on it, however, I am willing to hear your perspectives on the matter. Miss Peach Tree, you may start."

"Thank you, Yer Majesty," Peach Tree said, bowing to me again. "Well, Ah hired Mr. Idea on the fifth of September of this year to work in mah peach orchard. Just a little extra help while some family was outta town. Hired him and another fella. The other fella did a great job and Ah even threw in a few more bits for a job well done, but Mister 'Great' Idea here decided he didn't wanna show up on time. Ah was gonna write him off as a no show, but at about noon he shows up and says he's ready to go. Ah wasn't gonna complain since we were a little behind schedule, and he did an okay job, but at the end of the day he comes up ta me and demands ta be paid as much as the other stallion!"

"The amount I was to be paid was specified in the contract we had signed the day before," Great Idea said a little snootily. "I had an unexpected emergency that I had to attend to. I assure you that I arrived at your orchard as soon as I could."

"I see," I replied. "Was your emergency you going to the local town hall to submit your contract?"

"Well... I didn't want to lose a fair sum of money because of something unexpected, Your Highness," Great Idea said, not quite meeting my gaze. "Besides, the extra bits would have helped me with my emergency."

"Which was?" I asked.

"Well... it was a... personal matter, Your Highness."

"And I'm a ruling prince of Equestria," I responded evenly. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I... no, no, thank you, Prince Antares. That's quite alright."

"Hmm." I picked up the paperwork in my magic and flipped to the contracts. I levitated it over to Great Idea. "And the contract on the left is the one you filed?"

Great Idea examined the contracts for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I filed the one on the right. The one that says I get paid the full amount no matter what."

"Just to clarify, you mean the one that has the name of the orchard you were hired to work at misspelled?" I said.

"Prince Antares, I never..." He re-read through the contract and almost instantly his pupils dilated to almost pinpricks and his ears flattened. His mouth flopped up and down for a moment as Peach Tree smiled triumphantly. After a moment Great Idea cleared his throat and looked up from the papers. "P-Prince Antares, I... I can only assume that sh-she misspelled it somehow. I..."

"If that were the case then both contracts would be misspelled, ya dummy!" Peach Tree growled. "And do ya really think that Ah'm gonna misspell the name of the farm that's been in mah family fer hundreds of years?"

"M-maybe something was... I mean..." He let out a weak chuckle and looked over at Kristen of all ponies. "P-Princess Kristen, surely you can see that it was likely a simple mistake. No reasonable doubt is required in a case like this, is it not?"

"Hey don't look at me," Kristen said. "I can't speak for my brother, but I'm kind of on the side of Miss Peach Tree."

"Well that's... certainly you don't..."

"I think I've heard enough," I said. It was time to spare the cheating stallion more indignity. "As I'm sure you can imagine, Mister Idea, falsifying official documents isn't something to take lightly, nor is perjuring yourself by lying in a prince's court."

"P-perjury?"

"Yes. Unless you're willing to tell me what the emergency was that necessitated shirking six hours of a contract you had signed?" Somehow Great Idea’s ears pinned back even more and he was fully looking at the ground. He knew I had him. "Yes, that's what I thought." I turned my attention back to Peach Tree. "Did you actually give him any money for his work?"

Peach Tree shook her head. "No, Yer Highness. Got in a big argument when he asked ta be paid. If he'd just accepted the half pay then we wouldn't be here right now. He did six hours of honest work."

"Indeed. Well, I've heard enough. I find Mister Great Idea guilty of falsifying official documents and perjury. I sentence you to pay a five thousand bit fine for falsifying the contract, another five thousand bit fine for the perjury, and a sentence of two years in the Baltimare City Penitentiary with eligibility for parole after six months served." I stomped my hoof on the armrest of my throne again as my guards came up to arrest Great idea. "This case is closed."

"Thank you, Yer Majesty," Peach Tree said, bowing to me again. "Glad justice was served."

"You're welcome, Miss Tree. You are dismissed."

With one more bow, Peach Tree left my throne room as Great Idea was escorted away. When the room was empty of everyone except my remaining guards Kristen scoffed and shook her head as she adjusted her hat.

"Wow, dude. Harsh."

I shrugged with my wings and paused for a moment to order some water for the two of us before responding. "Not really. Yeah, it's gonna suck, but I'm not going to let him go with a slap on the hoof. I let him off relatively easy for his crimes. Now, if he does it again, things are going to get a heck of a lot worse for him. I really rather doubt it, though. Like I said: Equestrian prisons aren't the criminal colleges that they are on Earth. He'll see the error of his ways and probably come out the other side with behavior a little more aligned with his name."

"Yeah, that was the craziest part," Kristen said. "I mean, are there quotation marks around his name on his birth certificate?"

"Oh, I rather doubt that, but just because you have a cutie mark in something doesn't mean you're one hundred percent infallible. Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way."

"Makes sense." Kristen looked to the large stack of paperwork next to me and took a sip of the water that had just been delivered to her. "So, what's next? Anything as exciting?"

I checked the next case and grimace before shaking my head. "'Fraid not. This next one is about corn tariffs and their potential impact on rice imports. A little more boring, but I think you'll be able to follow it well enough."

"Um..." Kristen's ear twitched and she glanced at the back door. "S-sure. I'm sure I'll learn a lot."

"I'll try to fill you in on anything I can. On that note..." I turned to my guards again. "Send in the next ponies."

* * * *

"Are all of your court days that boring?" Kristen groaned as she poked at her food with her fork. "Seriously, there were times when I wanted to summon bats or whatever to make the day more interesting."

"Yeah, but you learn to get used to it," I said as I loaded more food onto my plate. "Once you learn all of the nuances things get a lot easier. Not completely simple because each pony has his own ideas, perspectives and motives, but even then you learn some tricks to make it go better. It'll still be a while before I'm as good as Celestia is, but I'm better than I was when I first ascended."

"For sure, but you've gotta be bored, too."

"Of course."

Kristen propped her head on her hoof and poked at a pineapple slice, turning it different colors with each poke. "Although next time I'm going to turn their tails a different color, or something. You know, spice things up a little bit. Or at least, I might if we weren't trying to keep my new... condition under wraps."

My smile turned a little brittle as I chewed on a bite of salad. I had to remind myself that my sister wasn't Discord. She was just bored and wanted to use her new powers, just like I would in her situation. It's not a big deal.

"So, does the taste change if you change the color?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

Kristen frowned and picked up a piece of bright pink honeydew melon. She popped it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "Yeah..." She swallowed and picked up a piece of dark purple watermelon. "Yeah, it kind of does. It has a bit of tangy blueberry to it. I'm not sure why since it was pink, but..." She shrugged. "Chaos magic, I guess."

"Makes sense." I glanced at a nearby clock and pushed my nearly empty plate aside. "Well, that was a good meal, but I think it's time I fulfilled my earlier promise and gave you some more flying lessons, what do you say?"

"Sounds good to me!" Kristen said as she shot out of her chair with enough force that she hovered for a few seconds. "Palace gardens?"

"It's as good a place as any. Lots of open space there. So we should--"

Just then the door opened up and a servant walked in with a scroll floating beside him. He placed it on the table in front of me and bowed.

"Prince Antares, I have a report from Ponyville. Miss Sparkle thought you might want to handle this one personally."

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention." I unrolled the scroll and scanned it. Hmm. Interesting. I rolled it back up and gave Kristen an apologetic look. "Um... so..."

Kristen's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me. Something's come up."

"Yeah, something possibly big. I'm not totally sure. I should handle it quickly." A thought struck me and I tilted my head. "It's going to require a little travel. You up for that? We could fly there."

"So, instead of flying in the palace gardens we're going to go on an adventure?"

I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."

Kristen grinned and happily flapped her wings. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"

Author's Note

There are two big updates for you guys: one there is now a tumblr for my story The Secret Life of Rarity found here!
Secondly, I've ordered the test copy of TD the Alicorn Princess. If it's all good, then sales can begin!

And yes, I did write the bit about "Ponybucks" while sitting in a Starbucks.

In Our Town

We arrived in Ponyville after a four hour flight and landed right outside the Golden Oaks library. Twilight was waiting for us with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, all of whom had come out to meet us. Kristen stumbled a little bit on her landing, but I held out a hoof to prevent her from face-planting completely. She glared at me, then brushed her coat like nothing had happened. I rolled my eyes, then turned to Twilight.

"So, what's going on?"

Twilight jerked her head to the library's door. "Earlier this morning somepony came into Ponyville and asked to speak with one of the town's leaders. Mayor Mare was busy, so..." Twilight grimaced and flattened her ears. "Yeah. He got sent to me."

"I see. And what seems to be the issue that I need to deal with?"

"Well, it's kind of weird, TD," Rainbow Dash said. "He's a little... off."

I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head. "Off? How?"

"You'll see." Rainbow Dash pushed open the door and let the rest of us inside. In the middle of the room I saw a gray earth pony stallion being given tea and cupcakes by Rarity. He turned his head when he heard us come in, and his eyes widened when he saw me. He yipped and shot to his hooves, nearly knocking the tea set over.

"Oh, uh..." He twitched as if he wasn't sure if he should bow or run. He settled on a quick little bow. "You're Prince Antares." His eye twitched. "Yeah, I guess you're in charge. I... grr... I never should have left!" He sat back down so quickly I briefly thought that magnets might have been involved and put his head in his hooves. "It seemed like a good idea at the time! There were some problems with her and so I wanted to leave but nopony else would come with me and... I never should have left!"

Okayyy. He seems a few books short of a library. Not the craziest pony I'd ever met, but definitely somepony who needed a little help. I gave him a comforting smile and sat down next to him, taking one of the cups of tea and putting it in his hooves.

"Calm down, okay? Why don't you start at the beginning?"

"Oh, yes, the beginning. Good." He took a quick sip of his tea, then set the cup down on the table. "Never should have left. Start at the beginning." He took a deep breath, then grabbed at his head again. "I live in this village a few day's walk from here. Nice place. Charming place. We're all really happy there. So, so happy. We had some problems, though. I guess every village does. Nothing we couldn't have worked through if I'd just stayed! We were all happy and equal and the best of friends!"

At this point, Kristen took a moment to poke me on the shoulder. "TD, look." I followed to where she was pointing and my eyebrow twitched up for a second. Where his cutie mark should have been, all he had were a pair of black bars in an equal sign.

Hm.

"So, I see your cutie mark. What does it stand for?" I asked.

"No! No! Not my cutie mark! We don't have cutie marks in our village!" He snatched up the cup of tea again and downed the whole thing. "That's what makes it wonderful! We're all equal, so nopony is better than anypony else!" His wild gaze turned to Kristen and he let out a huge gasp as he shot up again. "You! It's... you're so wonderful!" He grinned and pranced up to her, pointing at her flank. "You don't even have a cutie mark! You'd be the most equal of all of us!"

"That's not how it works, dude," Kristen said, taking a few uneasy steps away from him.

"Our mayor will want to know how you did it!" He sat back down and took a few deep breaths. "I never should have left!"

"Okay, that's enough caffeine for now," I said, taking the cup away from him. "You need to just slow down and give us some more details. We can't help you unless we know what's going on."

"Yes. Right. Quite correct." I subtly cast a spell on him to calm his nerves. It did the trick, as his breathing slowed and he flopped down on the ground. Whatever worked, I guess. "Like I said, I come from a village not too far from here. Our mayor Starlight Glimmer founded it. She said it was a place where we could be safe from things like the war. I'm slightly ashamed to say that it's where a few draft dodgers ended up. She didn't want us to feel stressed about anything. She wanted us to be totally happy. To do that, we just had to give up our cutie marks. Then we could all be equal and nopony could be better than anypony else."

"And... you were happy like that?" I asked.

"For the most part, yes. Our leader protects us from the outside world, even though we got attacked by bears every night. At least that's what she's told us." He sighed and draped his foreleg over his eyes. "She has a lot of control over the town. Total control, I think. It got to the point where I wasn't sure what to do. Sometimes a pony steps out of line and... Well, she just talks to them, I guess. I don't want to know what kind of talk she'd have with me for esca-- I mean, leaving."

Wow. Okay, there were all kinds of disturbing implications there. It sounded like this "Starlight Glimmer" person had a little more control than she should have. It wasn't illegal for small towns to have their own legal system, as long as they also followed Equestria’s laws. Small towns and villages had their own individual cultures and problems. If she really was just talking to ponies who got out of hoof, that was one thing, and it also depended by what this guy meant by "steps out of line."

That wasn't quite the vibe I got, though. I had to guess that this stallion wasn't a nervous wreck before living in the village. Maybe I was misinterpreting things and there were logical explanations for all of it, but somehow my gut told me that wasn't the case, and I'd gotten a lot of things right by following my instincts since starting this job. I stood up and turned to the rest of the ponies.

"If you'll excuse my sister and I, we have a few things to talk about."

"Of course, TD," Rarity said. "We'll be here if you need us."

"I'm sure." I herded Kristen out of the library and cast a small sound suppressing spell around us, glancing back to make sure that we hadn't been followed out.

"Okay, so I'm really not liking what's going on here with this guy. I mean, I don't want to get Jonestown vibes, but..."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, too. We don't have any concrete evidence of wrongdoing, and our only witness has some issues. Those issues likely stem from his time there, but I feel uneasy enough about this that it might be worth checking out."

"I agree. So are you just going to send in some guards or something?"

I shook my head. "Probably not a good idea. I think this requires a subtle touch."

"So the two of us should definitely stay as far away as we can?"

I rolled my eyes. "I've gotten better about that. I've actually learned a few things since starting this job."

Kristen gave me a flat look and returned my eye roll. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I've heard Blaze tell stories from the war. Something about you holding Purgle's head up while shooting fire out of your horn? Really subtle."

"That was war and I was trying to intimidate an opposing army into submission," I shot back. "I think we can do this. Besides, it's either this or you can go to your regularly scheduled session with Professor Blackboard."

"Oh, well, would you look at that?" Kristen looked directly into the sun and tapped her jaw. "Looks like the day's a-wastin'! Where are we going again?"

Yeah, I thought I'd get her on that one.

* * * *

After leaving instructions with my staff, the two of us were off again. From what the stallion had told us, it was more or less a straight shot to the village. Plus a two day run was a half-day flight for us at a good pace. Given the time when we left, we did stop to make camp for the night, but at dawn the two of us were off again.

About four hours after we resumed our journey, I spotted something in the distance. I used a sight spell and saw that it was what appeared to be two rows of small houses in a perfect equal sign with one more beyond them.

"Looks like we've found it," Kristen said. "It has the equality decor I'd expect."

"For sure." I tilted my wings and began landing. I didn't want them to see us coming. It would ruin everything we were going for if they saw one of the rulers of Equestria flying right to them. We needed discretion. If this Starlight pony was dangerous, and especially if she had a group of loyal underlings, then making her feel nervous was the last thing we wanted.

"Okay, so it looks like it's just an hour away by hoof. It's probably a good idea to disguise ourselves before then." I lit my horn and cast a spell that shrunk me and turned my coat into a simple shade of red. I also cast an illusion spell so that my cutie mark was a plain quill. "Alright, your turn."

Kristen frowned and tilted her head. "Me? Why? I'm not some giant alicorn who led a war. Plus these ponies have probably never heard of me. It's not like I've made a bunch of big speeches."

"It's not something I'm willing to risk. Besides, if nothing else we need to get you a cutie mark. You saw what he was like when he saw that you didn't have a cutie mark. He just about lost his mind."

"More than he already had, you mean," Kristen grumbled. "But fine. I'll concede the point on the cutie mark. I might need one."

"Good. Just stand still. This won't hurt."

I cast the illusion spell on Kristen, and her coat turned into a nice shade of teal. A diving bell appeared on her flank, completing the disguise. I gave ourselves another once over, then nodded in approval.

"Alright, I think we're good," I said as I hid my horn with my magic. "Now we're just two weary travelers exploring the lands around Equestria. You'll be Diving Bell and I'll be Quick Quill."

"Quick Quill?" Kristen scoffed and shook her head. "Whatever. It's your disguise."

"At least I don't look like Prince Antares anymore," I said as we began walking in the direction of the village.

"Still sound like him, though," Kristen pointed out.

"Oh, good point!" With one final spell I changed the pitch of my voice to a little lower than it normally was. "How's this?"

"Better. Should be good enough to fool everyone."

"Well, that's all I need."

We spent the final hour of our journey in relative silence, each of us privately wondering what the outcome of this would be. I hoped that it would be a simple fix, and that Starlight was just talking to the villagers about minor infractions like... I dunno, littering or something like that. Maybe this is just a completely peaceful community.

Who had draft dodgers.

Eh, honestly, that wasn't a huge concern. It would take more effort to capture and prosecute them than it was really worth. It was a minor detail in the grand scheme of things. If we found out that this place was legit then we'd spend the day there then be on our way back to Baltimare.

We reached a hill overlooking the village and saw all of the hustle and bustle that a town of what appeared to be under fifty ponies could produce. There appeared to be a few small stalls, some kind of marketplace, all in front of the perfectly equal houses. So far so good.

However, as we got closer, things started to get a little weirder. Each one of the ponies had the equal sign cutie mark, and all of them had a couple of variations of the same mane style. Again, nothing illegal so far, but all of my instincts were telling me that things were really off here. I just couldn't quite place my hoof on what.

We were just about at the village's entrance when one of the locals spotted us. Her eyes widened and she instantly bolted to the two-story house at the end of the rows. More and more of the villagers spotted us as we drew nearer, and they began muttering among themselves. They didn't seem scared, more... curious. Kristen and I smiled at each of the ponies as we made eye contact with them.

Just as we passed the entrance, the door to the two-story house opened up and a pinkish purple unicorn mare walked out. She gave us a large, slightly overly friendly smile and trotted up to meet us.

I gathered it was Starlight Glimmer

"Hello, hello!" she said, stopping in front of us and extending a hoof. "My name is Starlight Glimmer--" Nailed it. "And as the mayor of this village, I welcome you!"

"Hello, Starlight," I said, taking her hoof and shaking it. "My name is Quick Quill and this is my sister, Diving Bell."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Starlight said, taking Kristen's hoof. "It's always wonderful to have new ponies in our village! We're pleased to extend our hospitality to you."

"Thank you, Ms. Glimmer."

"Oh please, just call me Starlight," she said with a wave of her hoof. "Why use formalities among friends?" She turned around and beckoned the two of us to follow her. "Let me give you a tour!"

The two of us followed behind her, exchanging a quick glance. Kristen gave me a little shrug that I took to mean "she seems nice so far."

We trotted a bit to catch up to her as she began her tour.

"We're ponies from all trots of life who have come here to live a simple, peaceful life," Starlight began, waving to each of the ponies as we passed them. "Some of us had struggles in our previous lives, some of us wanted to avoid strife, and some of us just wanted to live peacefully in harmony with other ponies. We've come together to build this wonderful place, and every so often somepony else arrives and we band together to make them a nice, cozy little home where they can be happy."

"Sounds... pretty relaxed," Kristen said.

Starlight giggled and nodded. "Oh yes, we want life here to be as stress free as possible."

"I think that's a noble goal," I said. "But... um... I couldn't help but notice... you know, the cutie marks."

Starlight stopped and whirled around to face us, her smile not faltering an inch. "That's the best part! You see, part of the stresses of life come from being unequal to other ponies. It simply causes undue strife and petty arguments that can break up relationships, even whole communities! Without cutie marks, each of us are equal and live without the torment that cutie marks bring."

"Okay..." Kristen frowned and tilted her head. "But isn't it a pony's special talent? A representative of what makes a pony... them?"

Starlight scoffed and waved her hoof. "Propaganda, I assure you. Everypony here is much happier now than when they were burdened by their marks. I ask you this: have you ever considered my position? Have you ever observed the potential truth of what I'm saying?"

"Um..." Kristen glanced over at me before shrugging. "I guess not."

"Well, then, I'd suggest at least thinking about it." Starlight said, putting her hoof on Kristen's shoulder. "I know that it sounds strange, dare I say even radical, but the proof is all around you." Starlight swept her hoof to motion to the village. "They're all happy here, I promise you."

"If you say so," Kristen said.

"I do say so. Tell you what..." Starlight walked between both of us and, when Kristen turned around, she used the opportunity to throw her foreleg around Kristen's shoulders. "Why don't you stay here for a day or two? You can see what life is like in our cozy, happy little village. Maybe you can even talk to some of the ponies around here. I'm sure they'll tell you the same things that I have. We have a spare cottage that you can use as long as you'd like. If you decide that you see our perspective and want to stay, we'd be more than happy to have you join our community!"

"But we'd have to give up our cutie marks to do that, right?"

Starlight's smile faded, and she gave me a solemn nod. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I know that's hard for some ponies, but we're all about equality here. If two ponies came in and kept their cutie marks, that would mean that they would be superior to the rest of us, and that goes against everything that we believe in here. Don't worry, though..." Her smile returned in full force. "The Cutie Unmarking is a painless, transformative, and even beautiful process."

I wanted to ask about if a pony wanted to leave, but that might be tipping my hand a little early. If she suspected that we were told about this place because of the stallion who left, that might cause some issues. Despite the outward facade, I wasn't completely satisfied that this place was what Starlight described. Everypony was smiling, but their smiles were too wide and none of them quite reached their eyes. The mane styles were uniform, but a little too uniform. Not a hair was out of place on any of them.

Basically, the place just lacked... personality.

"Well, I won't sell you on this place if we just stand around," Starlight said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Let me show you to your home!"

"You really want us to live here, don't you?" Kristen said as we followed Starlight to one of the houses. "I mean, you just met us."

"I know, but what kind of mayor would I be if I didn't extend to you my best hospitality?" Starlight said as we reached the door. "As for you staying, it's a celebration each time somepony decides to join our little community. We're all happy, so why shouldn't we want to share that happiness with everypony in Equestria?"

"That... makes sense, I guess?" Kristen said as Starlight opened the door. She stepped aside so that we could go in first, then followed behind us and shut the door. I half expected to hear a lock click.

"I know it seems strange to outsiders, but many of the ponies here feel the way you do now," Starlight replied. "Now they're as happy as the rest of us and, if I may be so bold, I think you would be too." Starlight nodded to each of us before motioning around the small room. "Here's where you'll be staying. The owner is out of town gathering supplies, but if he were here I'm sure he'd welcome you into his home. He'll be gone for a few weeks, so stay as long as you'd like. If you do decide to stay, we'll find you a nice, comfy home of your very own!"

"That's very kind of you, Starlight," I said, returning her smile. "Right now I think we just want to rest. We've been on the road for a few days, so a soft bed sounds lovely."

"Well then you rest up and come out when you're ready to meet the town! There's a shower in the main bedroom as well if you wish to use it. And of course, if you need anything, anything at all, just tell somepony and we will do everything we can to see it happen. For now, have a good rest, and we'll see you soon!"

With that, Starlight opened the door and backed out of the room, never breaking eye contact with at least one of us and her smile never fell an inch. When she was fully outside, she closed the door and once again, I expected to hear a lock click.

Kristen and I just stared at the door for a few moments, chewing over everything that had happened over the last twenty minutes. I walked over to the door and peered out of the peephole in case Starlight was listening in, but all I saw was the street. I glanced out a few of the windows, then turned to Kristen and shook my head.

Kristen let out a breath and sat down with a groan. "Hey, TD? Remember that time in grade school when we accidentally knocked over one of the walls for the set of the play our classes were doing, and we tried to pick it up and put it back so that nobody would notice, then a janitor and two teachers came by and saw us?"

"Yeah, why?"

"This is worse."

* * * *

I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to the house. We had talked about it and I decided that I'd go talk to the locals first while TD looked around the house for any clues on what was going on. He'd most likely join me in a few minutes. Really what we needed was a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation with a local or two. If they could expand on what the stallion back in Ponyville had said, we'd get a better understanding of this place. Maybe if something was going on they'd let a few things slip. Really, all I had to do as avoid--

"Diving Bell!"

Starlight.

I closed the door behind me and waved at Starlight. She walked up to me and, to my complete surprise, pulled me into a hug. She let out a little, happy noise and pulled away.

"Oh, it's so great to see you. You don't want to rest a bit?"

I forced a smile onto my face and shook my head. "Nah, travel always gets me energized. My brother is taking a nap, though. He'll probably be out soon, though. Just a quick power nap."

"Oh, well I completely understand," Starlight said, leading me into the main street where ponies smiled and waved at us. "I knew you'd want to get to know us as soon as you could. You seem like the friendly, open-minded, inquisitive sort. Let's introduce you to some ponies, why don't we?"

"Sounds good."

Starlight led me up to one of the shops where a gray-ish unicorn mare with a purple mane done up in a bun stood behind a stall that appeared to be selling... I couldn't even begin to describe what they were. I doubted that they were edible food, that was for sure.

"Diving Bell, I'd like you to meet Sugar Belle!" Starlight giggled. "You two almost have the same second name!"

"Ooh, we do!" Sugar Belle said. "That means we're going to be friends, I can already tell!"

"Uh, yeah... sure." My smile flickered a little bit. "Sounds great."

"It's always nice meeting a new friend," Sugar Belle said, pulling me into yet another unwanted hug. "What should we talk about? Friends talk about stuff, right?"

"Of course, Sugar Belle," Starlight said. "You and Diving Bell can talk as much as you want. I think she wants to know about our town and how happy we all are."

Sugar Belle let out a cute little squee, then dragged me by my hoof into her shop. Before I could say anything, she'd sat me down on a rickety chair before sitting at the one opposite of me.

"Oh, this is the most wonderful place in Equestria!" Sugar Belle began. "We're ponies from all trots of life who have come here to live a simple, peaceful life. It's sad, but some of us had struggles in our previous lives, some of us wanted to avoid strife, and some of us just wanted to live peacefully in harmony with other ponies. That's why it's so great that we've come together to build this wonderful place, and the best part is when somepony else arrives and we band together to make them a nice, cozy little home where they can be happy with the rest of us!"

"Um... s-so I've heard."

"But you don't have to just hear it; that's the best part!" Sugar Belle said. "When you come live here, you'll get to experience it for yourself each and every day!"

"Oh, um... well, my brother and I haven't actually decided if we want to stay yet."

Sugar Belle gasped and put her hooves up to her mouth. "Buh-but why wouldn't you want to stay? We're all so happy here, and I know you would be, too!"

"Yeah, I get that a-- hey!" I flinched back when I felt a hairbrush go through my mane, and I turned around to see Starlight standing behind me with said hairbrush. She smiled fondly at me and gently, but firmly pushed my head to where it was facing Sugar Belle again.

"Shh. Just relax, Diving Bell. You said you've been on the road for a while, right? When's the last time you had your mane brushed?"

"Just yesterday. I carry a-- ow!" I flinched when she straightened a knot in my mane. She chuckled knowingly and patted my shoulder.

"See? I'm just helping you out. Isn't this relaxing?"

Even if it was the best massage in the world, it still wouldn't be the least bit relaxing. I was about to voice that opinion when Sugar Belle took my hoof.

"Don't worry, Diving Bell. Starlight is just helping out. That's another thing that's great about this place! We all like to help each other. That helps make us happy."

You guys are really laying the happiness part on kind of thick, aren't you?

"Tell me, Diving Bell..." Sugar Belle put her other hoof on top of mine. "Are you happy where you are? I mean, truly content?"

"Who is?" I said through gritted teeth as Starlight straightened out another knot.

"We are, of course," Sugar Belle said with a light laugh. "But we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves. Where are you from?"

Oh. Dang. That's right. TD and I hadn't really settled on a detailed cover story quite yet. I needed to be careful here or our stories would conflict.

"Well, like my brother and I said, we're traveling the lands around Equestria. We're from Vanhoover originally, but we've lived in Baltimare for a while. After a while we finally saved up enough money to travel around and see the sights. It's kind of limiting to just experience what you're familiar with, isn't it?"

"Oh, I completely agree," Starlight said.

"We don't have money here," Sugar Belle said. "It just causes ponies to fight."

I was about to respond when I felt Starlight take my mane in her magic. I tried to stand up again, but she pushed me back down with a little more force.

"Shh. Just be still. Relax a little. Please? For me?" With a quick flick of her horn, my mane twisted into two separate braids, which she draped over each shoulder. She sighed contentedly and patted my back.

"There. All better. Doesn't that feel nice?"

I shot out of my chair and went straight over to a nearby dirty mirror. I flinched back at the sight of my new braids. I hadn't had my hair in braids since I was eight!

"Oh, um... thanks. Thanks a lot. It looks wonderful, but--"

"If you don't like it I can give you a different style," Starlight said. "Maybe a nice bun like Sugar Belle has? I thought this one would look best on you, though."

"Really kind of you, but I'm fine. Totally fine."

And completely freaked out. I probably would have punched Starlight through a wall the second she touched my hair if I didn't want to get more info out of Sugar Belle. It was a small price. I poked at my mane and inwardly grimaced when I felt that the braids weren't coming undone for anything short of magic.

Focus. Talk to Sugar Belle some more. I forced another smile back on my face and went back to my chair.

"Um... sorry. It's really lovely. Thanks."

"Oh, you're very welcome, Diving Bell," Starlight said, giving me another squeeze. "But please, don't let me get in the way of your conversation."

Like that wasn't going to happen. Still, if she didn't touch me again, I could probably handle it.

"Random question: do you guys have any flavor-aid here?"

Sugar Belle frowned and tilted her head. "No, what's that?"

I waved my hoof. "Never mind. So, um... you feel okay that you gave up your cutie mark?"

Sugar Belle's eyes widened, and she nodded vigorously. "Oh, of c-course I do! I'm happy that I did it! Happier than I've ever been!"

"Do you regret it at all?" Somehow her eyes got wider, and I flinched back. "Sorry if this is a private topic or anything but, you know, if I'm gonna stay I want to get all of the information that I can, right?"

Relief spread across Sugar Belle's face, and she patted my hoof. "I don't regret it for a moment, and I promise that you and your brother won't either. Not for a moment." Her wide smile appeared again and I began to wonder if she was going to eat me. "Not a single moment. I'm happy. We're all happy."

"Right. So, um... are there rules here?"

"Well of course there are, silly," Starlight said with a chuckle. "We have a town charter on top of following all of the normal Equestrian laws."

"Well, that's good. So what if, you know, somepony broke one of the rules?"

Starlight walked into my field of vision, a slight frown creasing her face. "Why? Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, you know. Like I said: I want to know everything before I stay."

"Well I suppose that makes sense." Starlight shrugged. "Well, whenever somepony breaks a rule, I have a talk with them and explain why things here are they way they are and why it's in the best interest of our community that the rules are followed. Don't worry, though: nopony here is ever violent, and I've never had to give that talk to the same pony more than once."

"Well, that's good. I'm sure you can imagine that crime is a bit higher in the cities."

"Well, then you can see the appeal of a place like this," Starlight replied.

"They're probably all fighting because of their cutie marks!" Sugar Belle said.

"Right, and that brings up my next question: what happens to your cutie marks when you get Unmarked? Do they just disappear or...?"

Starlight extended her hoof and helped me stand up. "I'll show you. It's the best part."

* * * *

Well, so far my search had turned up nothing. There weren’t any diary entries about how Starlight was a madmare bent on destroying everypony in the village. The only thing I did find out for sure was that this was indeed the house of the stallion that had escaped to Ponyville.

I was about to head on out to see what Kristen was up to when I heard the door to the house open, then quickly slam shut. I frowned and trotted down the stairs, my eyes widening when I saw Kristen standing on two legs with her back to the door as if somepony was going to break through it at any moment.

“Dude, what happened to your mane?”

“Shut it, TD,” Kristen growled. “The ponies are absolutely crazy! They’re completely sure that we’re going to be joining them in this nutball town in just a few minutes here.” She grunted and patted at the braids. “And these braids aren’t coming out!”

“So... Starlight did that?” She groaned and nodded as she slid to the floor. “Right. That might be good. If you don’t take the braids out then she won’t suspect that you’re not happy with all of this. Keep them in and just play along for now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kristen grumbled. “So I take it you haven’t found anything that blows this place wide open?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s a very neat and organized house, but it’s not hiding any secrets that I can discover. You?”

“Oh, me?” Kristen scoffed and rubbed at her leg. “Yeah, I think I found something. They’re about to show me what they do with the cutie marks they remove!”

“Oh.” I smiled and walked over to Kristen. “Well, that’s good. Really good. To me that’s the detail that will clear up everything. So it’s like I said: you just gotta keep playing along for now.” I put my hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t be so nervous. I know this is unsettling, but keep in mind that they can’t actually hurt you. You’re the god of chaos.”

“I know, I know...” Kristen sighed and slowly got to her hooves with my help. “Instinct doesn’t instantly switch off because you become invincible, though.”

“Of course not, but we’re here for our subjects now. We can’t be hurt by Starlight, but they can. Maybe they already have been.”

“I get it.” Kristen groaned and leaned against the door, her eyes squeezed shut. “So I’m not just going to go to wherever Starlight is keeping the cutie marks alone. We need to have a plan in case things go south.”

“I agree. It might be a trap.” I patted her on the shoulder. “And we happen to have indestructible bait.”

* * * *

It didn’t take more than a few minutes for TD and I to come up with a fairly simple, straightforward plan. It wouldn’t have been my first choice if I was doing this alone, but I didn’t have as much experience with this kind of thing as he did. It was a simple plan. I couldn’t call it foolproof, though. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I slowly stepped out of the cottage and spotted Starlight and Sugar Belle standing a few yards away with another mare I didn’t recognize. Starlight noticed me and waved me over, and I returned her smile with one of my own. I shut the door behind me and trotted up to them.

I just had to relax. I could do this.

“It’s so great to see you again, Diving Bell!” Sugar Belle said, pulling me into another hug. “Have you met Night Flier yet?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure,” I said, extending my hoof. “I’m Diving Bell.”

“Yeah, Starlight and Sugar Belle were just telling me about you!” Night Flier said, taking my hoof and shaking it. “We’re honored to have you in our village.”

“Cool.” I pulled my hoof out of her grasp and began walking with the three of them in the direction of Starlight’s house. “So... have you been here a while?”

Night Flier nodded. “Oh yeah. Four years, two months, nine days, and eleven hours. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” She chuckled and patted my back with her wing. “This place is the best. Ponies from all trots of life who have come here to live a simple, peaceful life...”

I just tuned it out. I’d heard it enough by that point. I smiled and nodded as needed, but my mind was racing. I should have been a little more relaxed than I was. I was literally chaos incarnate, and TD and I had a plan in case things went wrong. They couldn't hurt me if they tried!

Still, it's hard to suppress instinct, and all of it was telling me that this was bad news. The worst part about it was that once Night Flier was done with her little clearly rehearsed spiel, none of the other mares said a word to me as they led me up a hill and toward a cave of all things. I hate being bait.

"Well, this is it," Starlight said, motioning into the cave. "This is where the cutie marks go." She stepped aside and beckoned me to enter. "Go on in!"

"Okay." I slowly stepped into the cave and was greeted with something I never thought I'd see. At the back of the cave was a giant, glowing wall filled with little squares. Inside each square was a cutie mark. In front of that was a stone pedestal holding a simple wooden staff. I just stood there and stared with my mouth wide open.

"Yes, I know it's quite a sight," Starlight said as she walked past me, taking a moment to close my mouth. "Everypony reacts that way the first time they see the Cutie Mark Vault.” Starlight lit her horn and picked up the stick on the pedestal, waving it in her magic.

"And this, dear Diving Bell, is the Staff of Sameness. It is what allows for the Cutie Unmarking to take place. With its magic, I have made all of the residents here equal, content, and happy." She pointed the staff in my direction, causing me to take an uneasy step backward. "I can do that for you, Diving Bell. You just need to say yes, and you can join our utopia."

"You kn..." I cleared my throat. "You know? I think I'm actually good. This has been really interesting, but I think my brother and I need to get out of here."

Starlight sighed and shook her head. "Diving Bell, if there's one thing I've learned in my time leading this community it's that sometimes ponies... don't always know what's best for them. Sometimes it takes a gentle, but strong, guiding hoof to get a pony on the right path."

Her smile returned, but I didn't miss the darkness in it as several ponies from the village came out of the shadows and surrounded me. I spread my wings and took a half-step back, but they had probably been waiting for that. Starlight lit her horn and encased me in her magic, rendering me being completely paralyzed. Starlight chuckled and slowly walked up to me, magic crackling in the staff.

"You'll be happy here, Diving Bell. I promise you."

"Doubt it," I wheezed. I glanced over at Sugar Belle, but she just stared at me with that wide, blank smile on her face. However, I couldn't quite miss the look in her eyes. It wasn't happiness. It looked like... unease.

"But I don't." Starlight pointed the staff at my cutie mark. "Now just you hold still, Diving Bell. This won't hurt a bit."

The staff began glowing with magic, just as my flank around my cutie mark did. I could feel it pulling at my fur and...

Nothing happened.

Starlight's smile faded into a frown and she powered down the staff, flipping it around so she could examine the top.

"What in the...?" She flipped it back around and powered it up again but once more, nothing happened.

"What's wrong? Is it not performing today?" I said, unable to keep the smugness out of my voice.

"Shut up, just let me..." Starlight groaned and poured enough magic into the staff that the tips began singeing. She growled in frustration before tossing it into the wall in frustration and trying to tear my cutie mark off with just her magic.

One of the townsponies gasped. “Starlight... I think you broke the--”

“QUIET!” Starlight roared, wheeling around to face the pony who had spoken up. Jeez, I think I saw a vein bulging in her neck. Starlight’s horn kept glowing brighter and brighter, until eventually I heard a little pop, and my fake cutie mark faded away entirely. A triumphant look crossed Starlight's face, but that quickly faded away when she saw that it hadn't been replaced by an equal sign, nor did she have a physical cutie mark to put into the vault.

"Jeez, lady, what did you do?" I said, trying to move my head to look at my now blank flank. "So am I superior to you guys now because I don't have a cutie mark at all, or am I inferior because I don't have a cutie mark to put in the vault?"

"Just hold on and..." Starlight bit her lip as she tried casting a spell on my flank. She smiled for a brief moment as an equal sign appeared, but it faded as quickly as the fake mark did.

"Should we try using the staff again?" one of the villagers muttered. “Maybe it’s not that broken.”

"No, don't..." She tried again with the spell. No go. Once more. It faded even faster than the last time.

"Am I intruding on something?" a familiar voice said. "I can come back."

The two unicorns trapping me stopped their magic, and I turned around to see TD still in his disguise looking at the proceedings with a slightly puzzled look. I smirked at him and motioned to Starlight.

"She took my cutie mark, dude. Made it completely go away. Pop."

"Well that's not good."

"Yeah, It's what we thought. I mean, not exactly as we thought, but we were right that something was wrong here."

"Hm." TD shrugged and walked over to us. "Guess I don't need this anymore."

With one quick spell, magic washed over TD's body. His horn reappeared and he grew back to his normal height, which of course meant that he towered over everyone else in the cave. His mane even went back to its weird wavy style. He smiled and stretched out his wings and legs.

"There. Much better."

I heard a thud next to me and turned to see that Sugar Belle had just flat-out fainted. The rest of the ponies in the cave had run as fast as they could in the opposite direction, but given that we were in a small cave, that just meant that they were huddled against a wall. The best part was Starlight, though. She had collapsed into a sitting position and was staring at TD with her jaw nearly on the floor and her pupils shrunken to nearly pinpricks. I smirked at her and closed her mouth.

"Everybody reacts that way the first time they see him."

Starlight let out a little gurgle and her eye twitched.

"So, Miss Glimmer. I guess you and I need to have a little talk about what exactly goes on here." He looked over at the ponies huddled in the corner. "Now be completely honest with me. I'll know if you're lying. Did you actually want her to take your marks?"

"I mean, at first I was fine with it, but I started having second thoughts," one of them said.

"Same here," said another.

"Me too," replied a third. "We knew we'd never be able to do it. Starlight would have put us in her 'reeducation room.'"

"Thought that might be the case. So, like I said, we need to have a bit of a talk, Ms. Glimmer."

Starlight snapped out of her initial shock and slowly put her head in her hooves and stared at the ground.

"Oh dear," she whispered to herself.

I chuckled and put my hoof on her shoulder.

"Yeeeah."

* * * *

It turned out that fixing Starlight's actions was as simple as blasting the vault with my magic. The moment I did that, cutie marks began flying out of the vault and back to the individual ponies in the cave. The instant the marks were back, color returned to each of the ponies. It even fixed their mane styles into something a little less uniform. They looked more lively; more animated than before. Several of them bowed to me.

"So... is there any chance we can just..." Starlight chuckled and gave me a hopeful smile. "Just let this drop?"

"No can do, Ms. Glimmer," I said, wrapping magic around her horn and forelegs. "If nothing else we have attempted kidnapping and possible assault on a member of the royal family, and that's not including whatever you did to these ponies here."

"Th-they wanted me to take their marks! They wanted to be happy!"

"And I'm sure the reeducation room was filled with happy puppies and fluffy pillows," I said.

"It wasn't. It was three straight days of hearing her propaganda over a speaker," another pony said.

"Oh will you please stop talking?" Starlight said through gritted teeth. "You're not helping me here!"

"I think that might be the point, Ms. Glimmer." I sighed and encased Starlight in a shield. "So, let's get you back to Canterlot."

Author's Note

I... don't know if I've ever written Starlight before.

The Dilemma of Starlight Glimmer

It wasn't difficult from there to get her back to Canterlot for a trial, as it was the closest of the two cities. Starlight was pretty cooperative throughout the whole thing, though that's probably because I had completely blocked her magic and movement. She wasn't going anywhere or doing anything without my say so.

Once we were back in Canterlot and Starlight was taken into custody by the guards on the following day, I gave Celestia a quick report on everything that had happened.

"So she was taking cutie marks and putting them in a vault in a cave?" Celestia said, shaking her head. "I cannot say I have ever heard of such a thing. Removing cutie marks is possible, as you saw, but it is a rare, very heavily guarded form of magic."

"I'd imagine so," I replied as the two of us made our way to Celestia's throne room. "It makes me wonder not only how she learned it, but how she also managed to replace it with the equality cutie mark."

"Well, that is something that we shall have to ask her."

The two of us stopped outside the door to the throne room where Celestia's new consigliere, Raven Inkwell, waited with a clipboard floating next to her. She was just as devoted as Celestia's last consigliere, but she had a touch more personality. Not by much though, if I'm being honest.

"Princes Celestia. Prince Antares." Raven tilted her head to us. "I have gathered the notes from Miss Glimmer's case. We have her statement, the statements of the stallion being taken care of by Miss Sparkle in Ponyville, and the statements of several of her townsponies."

"Excellent," Celestia said, taking the papers from Raven and flipping through them. "And how has Miss Glimmer been behaving?"

"She's fairly docile, though she has attempted to escape from her bonds many times." Raven motioned to the papers that Celestia was holding. "As you can see on page five, Miss Glimmer is an exceptionally powerful unicorn. Were it not for Prince Antares's magic, I doubt that we'd be able to keep her locked up."

I raised an eyebrow and looked over Celestia's shoulder as she scanned page five. "Really? That's... wow. It explains why she was so good at taking the cutie marks. She even kept my sister still for a little bit, though admittedly, Kristen wasn't trying to break out of Starlight's magic. I can still imagine that somepony like Twilight would actually have to exert themselves to beat her in a fight."

Celestia shrugged and flipped to the next page. "Perhaps. That does also bring up the point of what to do with her. It would be a shame to sentence a unicorn with that kind of talent to a prison cell."

"So no straitjacket, glass cell and muzzle?" I clicked my tongue. "Too bad. Doctor Hannibal Glimmer sounds... like wrapping filet mignon with a fruit roll-up. Two awesome things combined together to make a ball of disappointment."

Celestia and Raven both took a second to glance at me, but ultimately neither chose to comment. For a brief second, the only sound was Celestia flipping to the next page of the report.

"In any case, we should consider what is to be done with her, and I do not like the idea of sticking her in jail, especially since she can likely easily escape," Celestia said. "I also don't like the idea of extreme restraints."

I shrugged. "Well, she also made her own choices, and it's not like we're going to keep her in there forever. Breaking the law is still breaking the law, and she broke some pretty big ones."

"She did," Celestia admitted. "I suppose we should hear her side of things first." She nodded and floated the report over to me as we entered the throne room. "If you are ready."

"Yeah." I nodded and gave the report back to Raven. I only really needed to re-read some of the things that I missed while reading over Celestia's shoulder. Celestia sat on her throne while I borrowed Luna's for the trial, something that I'd done a few times before. It wouldn't make any sense to just bring my throne over to Canterlot whenever I needed to do this. Besides, I wasn't going to break it. With the two of us settled, Celestia nodded to her guard.

"Send her in."

The guard bowed and him and his fellow soldier lit their horns, opening up the door to the throne room. Starlight was led in, flanked by four guards. Her forelegs were still secured, and my band of magic was wrapped around her horn. She flinched when she saw the two of us, but with a gentle prodding from one of the guards, she walked to the middle of the room.

"Miss Starlight Glimmer..." Celestia began.

"Um... hi, yeah." Starlight blushed and did a quick bow.

"You have been brought before us to stand trial for your crimes against your fellow ponies," she continued. "You have several counts of unlawful imprisonment, as well as assault on a member of royalty. How do you plead?"

Starlight's mouth creased slightly and she straightened up. "Not guilty, Princess Celestia."

Celestia and I exchanged a brief look before turning back to Starlight. "Is that so, Miss Glimmer?" I said. "I seem to recall you holding my sister in your magic and attempting to forcibly remove her cutie mark. There is also the matter of the 'Re-education Rooms' that several of your townsponies informed us about."

"I was just doing what I thought was best to keep them happy," Starlight said.

"And that includes locking them in a room for several days and blasting propaganda non-stop?" I shook my head. "You seemed to have total control over these ponies."

Starlight's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No, not at all! Sure, I was the default authority, but I never tried to be a ruler. In my village I wanted all of us to be equal in how it ran as much as I could, so we would take turns being a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer had to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting..."

"Yes, yes, I got it, Miss Glimmer," I said before she could really get going. "But I assume all decisions had to be run by you, correct?"

"Well, I mean..."

"Look, it isn't illegal for you to run your own village as a mayor or some other central authority figure," I said. "That's not the issue we're having here. The issue is the cutie mark stuff."

Starlight's expression turned into a slight glare. "They wanted to give up their cutie marks. I didn't make them, but I did say that it was a requirement to live in my village. Every cutie unmarking was consensual!"

I raised my eyebrow. "And my sister?"

Starlight's ears drooped for a brief moment, but she quickly recovered. "Well... if I'm being honest--"

"Which would be a good idea," I chimed in.

Starlight glared at me again, but didn't comment further on that. "If I'm being honest, I have to admit that I never really believed what the two of you were saying. One of our members leaves and then a few days later two ponies just happen to show up who are asking all kinds of questions? Obviously I couldn't have known that you two were... um... you, but I suspected that you had ulterior motives!"

"And that's why you brought Princess Kristen to the cave?" Celestia guessed. "You wished to remove her mark and in doing so force her to join your community, thereby protecting it?"

"Well, I mean, it doesn't sound great when you put it like that." Starlight sighed and drooped her head slightly. "Look, I understand that I might have made a few mistakes in how I ran my village, but my intentions were good, I assure you. I didn't foalnap ponies from other cities and force them to live there. Many of them were escaping things like the war or poverty."

"I could also add harboring draft dodgers to your list of charges, Miss Glimmer," Celestia pointed out.

"I wasn't going to call a group of guards to my village to drag a few poor ponies away just because they were escaping something they didn't believe in," Starlight growled. "That isn't something that I believe in, and it isn't something that anypony should do. The war was horrible, and we did need good ponies to go fight in it, but not everypony believed that they should be the ones!"

"Perhaps," I said. "However, we'll ignore that point and not add it to your list of charges. Ultimately from what I've seen and read about your village, nothing you did was illegal, except for the Re-education Room and everything that entailed and attempting to forcibly take my sister's cutie mark off. If it was truly a village of ponies who wanted to live quietly without their cutie marks then that's not illegal."

"Well, that's what it was," Starlight snapped. "It was at first, anyway! I found a like-minded hoofful of ponies who listened to my ideas about cutie marks and equality! We banded together and made our village what it was. Over time more ponies started joining until we got to where we were when you came in." Starlight sighed and flattened her ears. "I never wanted to use the rooms to remind ponies of what our village represented and meant to all of us, but as more ponies started questioning things, the more extreme measures I had to take to make sure that our wonderful, happy village wouldn't be torn apart from within."

"There were other ways to go about that," Celestia pointed out. "And even ignoring that point, a pony should be free. If they wish to change their mind and reclaim their cutie marks to seek life elsewhere, they should be able to do that."

"I was happy. We were all happy being equal," Starlight insisted. "Everything I did that you're accusing me of, I only did it to protect my village. I didn't want any internal or external strife to destroy everything that I and other ponies had worked for years to accomplish."

"I understand, but that wasn't the way to go about it," I said. "We weren't there to burn the place to the ground; we were just seeing what was going on. If you were worried that we were going to widen cracks in your society that were already there, then it might have been a good idea to see why those cracks formed and what could be done to fix them." Despite the situation, a slight smile crossed my face. "And if I may say so, I don't think that anything you tried on my sister would have possibly worked. She's really stubborn."

"Right, yeah, I get it," Starlight grumbled. She lowered her head enough that she wasn't making eye contact with us anymore. "So now what? Am I going to rot in some cell because I made a few bad decisions and went too far protecting the community I'd worked so hard to create?"

"We shall see." I frowned and tilted my head as a thought crossed my mind. "Though speaking of creation, I am curious about the cutie mark spell. That's not exactly common magic."

At this Starlight actually straightened back up and she smirked at us. "Well, that took some doing, I'll admit. Once I got the idea I picked up bits and pieces of ways it could theoretically be possible from various, unrelated spellbooks. After that it was a matter of experimentation. Mostly on myself. It took me several years, but I finally managed to do it."

I didn't miss the hint of pride in her voice when she mentioned her success in removing cutie marks. Starlight was neither weak nor dumb. Maybe not the most... erm... socially aware pony I'd ever met, but she was smart. I hadn't read up a ton on cutie mark removal magic, but I knew enough to know that Starlight's claim that it had taken her years to figure out were on the level. If she had figured it out with very little to go on, that was impressive.

Celestia was right: Starlight was very talented. Crime was crime, though, and trying to tear my sister's cutie mark off and locking ponies in rooms for three days to blast propaganda at them was definitely illegal. With that in mind, I cast a sound spell around Starlight and the guards and turned to Celestia.

"Well, any thoughts?"

"Yes. I am curious why she feels the way she does about equality and the cause of her dislike for cutie marks. Given that cutie marks are tied to the identity of a pony, one does not simply wake up one morning with hatred for them."

"That would be kind of weird and 'comic book villain-y'," I agreed. "But ultimately she frequently locked ponies in a room for days and technically assaulted my sister. She's smart and powerful, but she still broke the law. Plus everything I've read shows me that the rest of the ponies in the village are much happier now that they have their cutie marks back, so I have to wonder how much she was controlling them."

"More than she would like to admit, even to herself," Celestia said. "I do not sense real evil from her, merely misguided attempts to create a better life for herself and/or others. To come down at her with the full extent of the law would be counterproductive, I feel, as she would see it as vengeful rather than instructive, and dangerous anger and resentment would fester inside of her while she was in prison."

"So what do you suggest, then?" I asked. "We can't just let her go with a slap on the hoof and say 'don't do it again.'"

"Certainly not. Perhaps some form of probation, then?" Celestia suggested. "I think that if she learned the value of friendship she could be a great mare. Perhaps she could even take her lessons back to her village and lead it once more, but with friendship instead of terror."

"I guess." I glanced back at Starlight, who was alternating between looking at Celestia and I with an expression not unlike a chicken being led to the chopping block. "Why do I get the feeling that you've already made your mind up on this?"

"Because you're my husband, and you know me well," Celestia said with a slight smirk.

And with that, it's time for me to just let Celestia do her thing. When my wife has made up her mind, I can't do anything to stop her. She's wiser than me anyway.

Celestia lit her horn and powered down the sound spell, which made Starlight flinch now that she could actually hear us again. She took a deep breath and tried to straighten up.

"Okay, fine. How many years am I getting?"

"Five," Celestia said. Starlight's ears drooped, but I could see a glare beginning to form on her face as Celestia continued. "You shall receive a five year probationary period, during which time you will be turned over to my student Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville. You shall become her student, where you will follow her instructions and lessons."

"Wait, what?" Starlight frowned and tilted her head. "So I'm just going to become a student of somepony?"

"There are many conditions to this, Miss Glimmer," Celestia replied. "We shall, of course, discuss all of them in time, but for starters, you will not be allowed to leave Ponyville without express permission. Your magic use will also be monitored heavily. We shall be keeping a very close eye on you." Celestia's face darkened, and it freaked me out enough that I actually scooted away a few inches. "We shall take breaches of your parole very seriously, Miss Glimmer. I am taking a chance on you. Do not abuse my trust."

"Oh, um..." Starlight blinked owlishly and looked at me as though I'd veto her sentence, or at the very least explain what Celestia was thinking. Instead I just stared back at her. I wasn't going to say anything that might contradict what Celestia had in mind. That was just asking for trouble. After a few moments of getting no response from me, she looked back to Celestia. "I'll try not to get into too much trouble?"

"See that you don't. In the meantime, we shall return you back to the local prison while you await your transfer to Ponyville, and while we discuss the full terms of your parole." With that, Celestia slammed her hoof down. "That is all."

The guards led Starlight out of the room immediately after that. Just as she reached the door, she spared one last glance to the two of us, before another nudge from a guard moved her forward. Once the door had closed behind them, I let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding in and stood up.

"I hope you know what you're doing with her," I grumbled.

"I'm taking, shall we say, a calculated risk. I have seen enough ponies with that kind of power go down paths they should not have because of anger and resentment." Celestia stood up and we began walking out of the throne room. "Besides, didn't you give me the quote of 'do I not destroy my enemy when I make him my friend?'"

"Yeah, yeah, but I don't trust her."

"Neither do I, Antares, at least not fully. I trust her enough to give her a chance."

"You do love your second chances," I agreed. "That aside, I bet Twilight is going to be surprised when you send her a pony on parole and tell her to reform her."

"Come now, she has her friends to aid her in that." A slightly mischievous smile crossed Celestia's face that I didn't quite like. "Besides, it's an assignment from me, and you know how she views those."

"Yeah, she gets really stressed." I rolled my eyes as the two of us made our way to the dining room. "You really are counting on her devotion to you, aren't you? You seem to be playing her a little bit."

"I'm merely using my resources, Antares," Celestia said. "Besides, I think they will both learn much from it. In the meantime..." Celestia walked over to her chair and sat down. "I'm starving."

Author's Note

Want to buy a print copy of the original story? Now you can here!

Luna Doesn't Handle It Well

"Tea?"

Kristen raised an eyebrow at me and glanced over at the teapot in my magical aura with a frown. "Tea? Really? You're not a tea guy."

I shrugged and poured myself a cup. "Well, I'm married to a mare who almost IVs the stuff, so I've developed a bit of a taste for it. Besides, it's helpful for a bit of a kick in the morning."

"And not that two hundred bit cup of coffee?"

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "No, that's more Luna's thing. Speaking of Luna, the three of us have a meeting later today, if you'd like to join."

Kristen shrugged and took a bite out of the chocolate chip cookie from a plate that she had just conjured. "Sure, why not? Rainbow canceled her flying lesson for me, so I'm free all day." Kristen grabbed the remaining cookies and shoved them in her mouth then, in a move that completely surprised me, she grabbed the plate and ate that too.

"Um..." I slowly pushed my dishes aside and stood up. "What was...?"

Kristen raised a hoof at me as she chewed. After a few seconds she swallowed, paused for a moment as if in thought, then shrugged and began walking out of the room. "Just trying it. I've heard I can do that now."

"Yeah, you can," I replied. "Not sure why you'd want to, but you can."

"Well I made it with my chaos magic so I thought I'd just try it out."

"I see."

The two of us walked in silence toward the outside of my palace where my chariot would be waiting for us. I kept shooting glances at her, but either she didn't notice or ignored them. We didn't say anything as we entered the chariot, nor when it eventually took off. However, eventually I hit the point where I couldn't stand it.

"So, uh... what does a plate taste like?"

"Ceramic? Chicken."

"Really? And you're not just saying that?"

Kristen shook her head. "Nope. Ceramic tastes like chicken, plastic tastes like oranges, glass tastes like cookies and cream ice cream, paper tastes like string cheese..." She shrugged and laid down. "You know. That kind of thing. I figured that if I have the power to do all of this stuff then I might as well use it and see what happens."

I held back a grimace. I'd heard stories of Discord doing that kind of stuff. I mean, I'd seen her biting into the dining room table, but that was out of frustration more than experimenting. But if I could just eat random everyday non-food objects, I'm not sure if I would. Eating a glass jar just to see what would happen was not really something that I had a lot of interest in.

More than once I'd wondered if part of Kristen getting Discord's powers was getting his personality. She could do just about everything she wanted. That kind of power, the kind that we'd need the Elements of Harmony to stop, might just go to her head. Then again, maybe if Celestia and I were a guiding hoof, we could avoid trapping my sister in stone to stop a mad power trip.

No. No, that wouldn't happen. That wasn't the Kristen I knew.

Of course, I wasn't the TD she had known either.

We conversed about random topics for another hour or so before a bright light flashed in front of me for a few seconds. A scroll popped out of it and landed in my lap. I frowned and lifted it up in my magic.

"What is it?" Kristen asked.

"Let's see." It didn't have a seal on it, and the ribbon holding it closed seemed rather hastily tied on. I slid it off and unrolled the scroll. "Probably from Celestia. Most ponies... don't..." My eyes widened. "Oh my gosh. It seems Luna has gone into labor."

Kristen's eyes widened. "Seriously? I thought ponies were pregnant for eleven months! It's been, what, six?"

"Yep, that's how long alicorns are pregnant for. We learned that with Celestia. Must be our unique biology."

"Guess so. We really gotta get over there now, I guess. You've got a second daughter or a son on the way."

"It seems so," I said with a smile. Despite the rather odd family dynamic of all of it, I really was looking forward to meeting my new child.

"So how was Celestia during labor?"

I shrugged. "She did pretty well with it for the most part. Not a ton of problems, other than the normal pain of giving birth, but she handled that as well as could be expected."

"No epidural?"

I frowned. "How? It takes ancient weapons made of dark magic to pierce our skins. How are we giving her an epidural?"

Kristen bobbed her head. "Good point. So Luna's going to handle it well, right? She seems like the hardy type."

I paused as I considered that. On one hoof, Luna was the most warlike of the three of us. Even considering everything I'd done in the war, Luna still gravitated toward a fight more than Celestia and I. Being an alicorn meant that it was still harder for her to get hurt, but it's not like she'd never felt pain before. She liked a good scrap. Having said all of that, foalbirth was a totally different scenario. Celestia dealt with the pain with relative dignity and, er, grace. Sure she still cried out in pain, but she held it together fairly well. Luna?

In the end I settled for a helpless shrug.

"Oof, that's not good if she doesn't," Kristen said with a grimace. "She might tear apart the entire room."

"Might," I agreed. “Celestia will probably be there to prevent that and to make sure that she doesn't accidentally kill any of the doctors. Plus I'll be there to help her through it."

"Should I be there?" Kristen asked.

"I dunno. Do you want to be? It's your niece or nephew being born."

"We'll play it by ear," Kristen said. "If I think it's a good idea for me to stay, I'll stay. If not, I'll go."

"Sounds good to me, I guess."

Just then another scroll popped up in front of me. This one didn't even have a ribbon around it. I grimaced and unrolled it.

"She's not handling it well."

Kristen returned my grimace and leaned in to speak to the pegasi pulling our chariot.

"You'd better step on it."

"This isn't a car."

"Alright then, flap harder or fly faster or whatever!"

* * * *

We narrowly missed a blast of powerful magic that obliterated the wall behind us as we opened the door to Luna's room. Alrighty then. Kristen and I walked in to find Luna in a standing position leaning against a bar that had been placed in the middle of the room. She had a doctor, a few nurses, and Celestia around her.

"So how is it going?" I asked, closing the door and casting a shield spell around it.

"This is no time for flippant jokes, Antares!" Luna growled. "If you-- GAH!" She started breathing heavily and her horn charged up for another spell. "If I have to have one more contraction I'm... I'm..."

"Princess Luna, please calm down," The doctor said as a nurse dabbed at Luna's forehead with a wet cloth. I noticed that both the doctor and the nurses had shield spells around them. "Breathe in..." The doctor breathed in deeply. "And breathe out." He exhaled. "Just like that."

"Thhhhhh. Vvvvvvvvv. Thhhhhhh. Vvvvvv. Thhhh. Vvvv."

"Not quite Princess Luna. Unclench your jaw a little. That's right."

"Listen to the doctor, Luna," Celestia said as she cast a few spells to keep the room safe. "I have gone through this as well, and I know that it is painful."

"PAINFUL?!" Luna roared. "Do not talk to me of pain!" Luna shot another spell out of her horn which bounced off of the various shields in the room like a ping pong ball before running out of steam. "I am the goddess of pain! All shall despair when they endure what I have! I will use this pain on our enemies!"

"Let's calm down a bit Luna, okay?" I said as I gingerly walked up to her.

"YOU!" Luna wrapped me in her magic and dragged me over to her. "This is not fair! You are not fair!" She whirled her head around to Celestia. "You do not love me as your dear sister! I must endure the pain of foalbirth without the joy of the actual intercourse! Should I desire another foal then I shall not listen to your objeeeeeeeooowwwwwww objections! I shall rut him until neither of us can stand!"

"Do I get a say in that?" I asked as I canceled her magic.

"Only in what we do," Luna growled. "Tis not fair that I must endure this without the fun paaaaaaaooooowwwwwwrrrrtttsss."

"We'll talk about all of that later, Lulu. For now just focus on what joy you will feel when you are holding your child for the first time."

"Gmph." Luna turned her head to look at me, but spotted Kristen first. Her eyes widened and she pulled Kristen snout-to-snout with her. "Lady Kristen. Dearest Princess Kristen. You are the goddess of chaos itself!"

"She's what?" one of the nurses muttered, exchanging an uneasy look with the other one.

"You have the power to make this instantaneous! You must take away all of my pain and speed up the process!"

"That would be an awful idea," everyone else in the room said at once.

"You really want chaos magic to be involved in the birth of your foal?" Kristen asked. "Chaos? You know, the thing that doesn't have any rules? I'm not that powerful anyway."

"Then whaaaaaooowwwwtttt." Luna took in a few more deep breaths. "Then what good are you?" Luna tossed Kristen aside, but I used my magic to catch her before she could hit a wall. "You all merely wish for me to endure this pain as paaaaahhhh part of a sick joke between yourselves!" She glared over at Celestia. "This is revenge for my teasing you when we were fillies!"

"Come on, Luna, I don't think--"

I should have seen it coming. Really I should have. But I didn't. I got to close, allowing Luna to snap her hoof out and punch me in the face. So there's that, then. Odd, really. She punched me in the face when she found out that Celestia was pregnant, then she did it again when she's in labor. Oy.

"Oh come on," Kristen growled. "Did you seriously just--"

With a cry of anger and pain, Luna brought her hoof down onto Kristen's head with enough power that she went straight through the floor.

"That is for-- guh... guuuhhhhh."

"I think it's time to start pushing," the doctor said, gingerly walking closer to Luna. "You want your foal to come sooner, right?"

"You all hate me!" Luna moaned. "This is a punishment for something!"

"I'm not too thrilled with you about being punched through the floor," Kristen growled as she climbed out of the hole that she'd made. "If I was a little stronger and you weren't in labor I'd show you how not thrilled I am."

"We can talk about that later, now push, Princess Luna!"

"No, no I don't want to push!" Luna moaned. "It will hurt!"

"You're almost done, Lulu. We've hit the home stretch. Think about how happy you'll be when you're holding your foal," Celestia said.

"She'll be more in her right mind," I muttered.

"And I'll be less annoyed with her," Kristen agreed.

With a cry of pain that rattled the windows, Luna started pushing. I pointedly looked away from this part. I'd already seen it when Celestia had given birth and it was... icky. Beautiful isn't really the word I'd use to describe it. Celestia was my wife, so as her husband I dutifully helped her through it, but Luna was just my sister-in-law. I know that she was giving birth to my child, but at the same time I found the situation rather awkward. I'd be here for moral support, and that would be good.

Plus I didn't want to get punched in the face again. It didn't hurt, but it was kind of annoying.

Luna's cries of pain grew louder to the point where I flattened my ears and double-checked to see if the room had a sound spell over it. It did, so the entirety of Canterlot wouldn't hear the noise of Luna giving birth. Or heck, all of Equestria. I briefly amused myself with the idea of several farmers in Appleloosa stopping their work because they heard Luna's profanity-laced shouts of pain.

"Is there nothing you can do?" Luna wailed to Kristen.

"Um... like what?" Kristen asked.

"Anything!"

"That's not a good idea, Princess Luna," the doctor said. "Now push! You're almost there! Push!"

Luna's cries of pain somehow became even louder as she pushed. I don't know how long it took. I kind of tuned it out a little bit because it was making my ears hurt, but after a while, I heard something that I'd been looking forward to: a crying foal.

I wheeled around and saw Celestia cutting the cord and the doctor cleaning up my new foal before wrapping her in a blanket. Luna, for her part, completely collapsed onto the ground with a groan.

"I hate you. I hate you all. Curse you for forcing me to endure that. I hate you."

"Well, you were the one who wanted a foal, Luna," I pointed out as I gingerly walked up to her.

"I still blame you."

"Well, maybe this will cheer you up, Princess Luna." The doctor walked up to her and floated the new foal between Luna's forelegs. "It's a filly."

For the first time in a while, a small smile crossed Luna's face as she gently held her filly close. "A filly. I have dreamed of the day that you would be here." Luna gently nuzzled her.

"Well, there's that, then," I said.

I had another daughter! This one had green fur and a light yellow mane. As the doctor was cleaning her up I did notice that she also had both wings and a horn. Another alicorn. I have to admit that the coloration was odd for a pony whose mother was the princess of the night. Not what I would have pegged for Luna's daughter. I expected her to look more like a bat pony or something.

"Well, Lulu, you have done it," Celestia said, sitting next to her sister. "You have your foal."

"Gbrmph." Luna floated a pillow over to herself and slid it under her head. "I suppose so." Luna began stroking her daughter's mane and smirked up at Celestia. "And mine is better than yours."

Celestia stuck her tongue out at Luna. "I am afraid that you are incorrect. Mine is better. I had her first."

Oh for goodness sake.

Author's Note

This chapter is dedicated to my son... who is due in 32 days. I heard that around 80% of all Colorado babies are born early (I was and so were all three of my siblings) so we could be seeing him earlier. Much earlier.

Several times I have told people that I'm having a son and a few sentences later in the conversation I get "so is it a boy or a girl?"

If I had a dollar for everyone who told me "it'll change your life forever" I could set up a college fund with the money both my wife and I could bring in from that.

He stops kicking every time whenever he hears the Depeche Mode song Personal Jesus. I hope it's because the song calms him and not because he hates it, and if it is the former I hope that it calms him down out of the womb as well.

I also have questions.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/837410/important-questions-that-bother-me-and-i-want-answers-for

Day One

I looked down and smiled at my new daughter. She laid peacefully in her bassinet, swaddled in a nice warm blanket. Antares and Celestia stood beside me, and I could tell that they were also joyful at this wonderful gift I had been given. A foal of my very own. I reached into the bassinet and gently put my hoof on her back. She was every bit as wonderful and perfect as I had imagined. She twitched slightly as she slept, no doubt dreaming of something. It would be a while yet before I would walk in her dreams, if ever. As her mother, it might be awkward if I walked into her dreams, especially during her... teenage years.

I had long since stopped dream-walking in the dreams of ponies going through puberty.

"I'm happy for you, Luna," Antares said, looking down at his daughter. I admit that there would be some complications in the matter. Regardless of how wonderful this matter was, Maia's relationship with both Antares and Nymeria would likely be... complicated, to say the least. Would they view each other as sisters, or cousins? We would get to that matter when necessary. For now, I pushed it out of my mind and basked in the wonderful experience of the first few hours of my daughter's life.

"I am happy for you as well, Luna," Celestia said. She lit her horn and lifted Nymeria off of her back, positioning her above the bassinet to get a good look at her new sister/cousin. "This is Maia, Nymeria. She is Aunt Luna's daughter!"

Nymeria tilted her head and looked over to me before putting her hoof in her mouth to suck on without any other reaction to speak of. Celestia chuckled and put Nymeria back on her back. "Oh well. The two of you will get to know each other very well in the coming years. I look forward to seeing how well the two of you get along."

"Hopefully at least as well as Aunt Kristen and I got along," Antares said, playfully poking Celestia's shoulder. "Though neither of us could use magic in our arguments, which was probably for the best, considering how heated our arguments could get."

"Yes, I do think that we will need to strengthen the wards around their rooms so that their arguments do not level half of the castle," Celestia agreed.

"Something we know from experience," I said with a slight smirk. "I seem to recall that some of our arguments did not end well for the castle. Mother and Father did not appreciate our anger toward each other."

"That comes with being siblings, I guess," Antares said. "In any case..." Antares looked out the window to see the position of the sun in the sky. "We should get going. I have court in a few hours, and I've got to find Kristen before then. You, uh, freaked her out a little bit when you were in labor."

I grimaced and flattened my ears. "Forgive me. I was in... quite a lot of pain."

"Yeah, I get it," Antares said with a wave of his hoof. "She'll get over it fairly quickly, especially now that everything has calmed down a bit. She'll be fine and will come to see Maia shortly. I'll go see where she's hiding and probably come to see Maia with her tomorrow."

"That sounds lovely, Antares," I replied. "I would like the opportunity to apologize to her for..." I grimaced and pointedly looked away from the two of them. "Punching her through the floor. And I suppose that I should apologize for the things I said and did to you while I was in labor. I did not handle the pain very... gracefully."

Celestia's mouth creased into a slight frown. "I would agree with that assessment, yes, particularly the part regarding what you wish to do if you desire another foal."

I blushed and turned my attention back to Maia. "I... did not mean it. I will, of course... be better about it should I have to endure labor again. I did not know such pain was possible."

"Very well," Celestia muttered. "For now, Antares is correct: we need to begin our court. Get some rest, Luna. When Maia awakes, she will be hungry."

"I hope that she will not be colicky," I said with a smirk, putting my hoof on her back again. "Perhaps she shall be at least as calm as Nymeria."

"Even Nymeria has her moments," Antares replied. "A foal can be calm normally, but when they're hungry, all bets are off."

"I shall ensure that she is well fed," I insisted. "She need not worry about me taking care of her. In the meantime, I agree that I must get some rest. Tomorrow we will present her to the nation. Before that, a good day's sleep will benefit us both."

"If you say so," Antares said. I noted the barest hint of a smirk in his expression, but I thought nothing of it. Maia would doubtlessly be as tired as I was and would sleep through the day. I could not wait for her to wake up so that I could get to know her. I knew that as a newborn foal her personality would not come through this early, but we would doubtless have some connection. No doubt she would nestle close to her mother, content that I was there and she was safe.

With one final goodbye, I closed the curtains, darkening the room for the two of us to sleep.

* * * *

11:00

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh."

I opened up one eye and looked in the direction of the bassinet. Ah, Maia was hungry. It was time for our first feeding! Our bond as mother and daughter would be strengthened by this time together. I sat up and lit my horn, lifting Maia out of her bassinet. Her jaw was wobbling and she squirmed in my magical grasp, but I rolled onto my side and placed Maia near me to being feeding. She opened her mouth and clamped on, but she almost instantly slid off. I smiled at her and moved her closer to latch on better.

"That's it, dear Maia," I said softly, adjusting her as needed so that she could get a good latch. "Mommy is here. Mommy will feed you."

Maia grunted and continued trying to latch on. It took her a minute, but she finally achieved her goal an began feeding. I draped my wing over her and laid back down on my pillow, basking in this beautiful moment between the two of us. Once Maia unlatched, her eyes started closing, and she leaned her head on my stomach. I gently lifted her up and put her back in the bassinet. I looked forward to many more feedings. She would recognize me as her mother soon, if she had not already.

Content with that thought, I allowed myself to fall asleep once more.

12:04

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh."

My eyes snapped open and I raised my head. Hmm. Perhaps I had not adequately fed her the first time around. I got into a more comfortable position, then lifted Maia once more and placed her in a feeding position. Once more it took her a few tries to get a good latch, but once she did, she began eating as though I had not fed here a mere hour before. I chuckled and gently patted her head as she sucked with the fervor of a pony that had never eaten anything before.

"I hope you are enjoying that, dear Maia," I said softly. "Mommy will always take care of you."

1:11

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh."

I frowned and glanced at the clock. It had not been long since I had fed her last. Perhaps in her exhaustion she had failed to take all she had needed. I brought her closer to me for another feeding.

"Please, my wonderful daughter. Do not sleep until you have eaten your fill."

Maia merely responded by continuing to feed. I was encouraged by the fact that she had successfully latched on with less effort this time. Maybe her previous issue was that her poor latch meant that she could not drink her fill."

2:03

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

I raised my head and grimaced. Perhaps she... needed a midnight... two in the afternoon snack. This time she would certainly sleep through the night. She would drink her fill very shortly, then we could both get the rest that we needed.

Yes, she would get more rest after this.

3:15

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

This time she would stay asleep. Her hunger would soon be sated, of that I was sure. She could not keep this up forever.

4:19

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

"Oh Maia, you... ah, should..." I briefly considered casting a sleeping spell on her, but if she was crying, she needed to be fed, yes? I checked to see if she needed to be changed, and found that to be the case. Ah, yes, that was the issue! She would be more comfortable and sleep through the rest of the night.

5:16

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

Very soon.

6:04

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

Perhaps not. I needed to... something. There were certainly issues beyond mere hunger, of that I was certain. Maybe being in the world frightened her, and she needed her mother to comfort her. Yes, that was the problem. I lifted Maia out of her bassinet and brought her over for yet another feeding. As she latched on, I stroked her back with my wing.

"All is well, my daughter. You are safe. I understand that you are likely frightened of this big world, but I will guide and protect you through it. Nothing shall harm you." Once she had finished feeding, I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and rocked her back to sleep.

7:12

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

I groaned and briefly put a pillow over my head. Perhaps she was simply being cruel. I hoped that this was not a consistent issue.

8:08

"Weeh, weeh, weeh, weeh!"

No. Just stay asleep.

I let out a frustrated grunt and brought her over to me for another feeding. As she was eating, I glanced at my clock and sighed. Perhaps I should have slept with her cuddled up to me. Then she could have eaten at her leisure without waking me up. As it was, I--

Beep, beep, beep, beep!

Maia jerked and immediately began crying as I turned off my alarm with my magic. I sat up and took her in my forelegs, gently rocking her as she wailed.

"Shh. That horrid noise is gone, my daughter. All is well. You may go back to sleep as Mommy..." I let out a pained sigh. "Begins her job."

Maia nuzzled into my chest, but stopped crying, though I could hear her sniffling. I rocked her for a few more moments, swaddled her, then put her back in her bassinet once she had fallen asleep. I let out a breath I did not know I had been holding in, then cast the usual foal monitor spells around the room before quietly walking out of the room. I closed the door behind me and groaned. That had not been the most pleasant night I had gone through, but it was worth it to connect with my daughter through feeding.

I let out a spectacular yawn and dragged myself to the dining room so that I could at least have something before beginning court. When I arrived, I found Celestia having her usual dinner meal while simultaneously feeding Nymeria some foal food. Celestia smiled at me when she saw that I had entered, while I collapsed into the nearest chair.

"That was not the most pleasant of nights," I mumbled, thunking my head on the table. "It is a wonder that I got any sleep at all."

Celestia chuckled and nodded. "Yes, the early period of a foal's life can be taxing, but it is certainly worth it."

"I can imagine, dear sister," I said with a strained smile. "In the meantime, I must have my coffee before court."

Celestia frowned and put the spoon she was using to feed Nymeria down. "I would not advise that, Luna, seeing as how you are feeding her yourself. What you eat and drink can affect your milk, and I would not advise you drinking your coffee. Normal coffee is fine in small doses, but with the strength of your particular blend..."

I whimpered and began rubbing my forehead. "Y-yes. Very well. I understand, of course. Yes, we all must make sacrifices for our children. This is one of mine. I shall endure. Out of curiosity, how long does this phase last? She certainly cannot do this every night throughout foalhood."

"Oh no, she'll grow out of it," Celestia confirmed as she screwed the cap onto the bottle of foal food. "Nymeria here only wakes up two or three times in the night now. Maia will grow out of waking up every hour or two in about, oh, two or three months."

I squeaked and sat up. "You are jesting," I groaned.

"I am afraid not," Celestia said with a sad smile. "It does take some getting used to, but like I said: they grow out of it."

I thunked my head on the table once more, causing Nymeria to giggle and clap her hooves at me.

Author's Note

This chapter brought to you by the first few days of my son's life.

He was fascinated by Fourth of July fireworks.

He's already kind of talking. I did the usual "say dada! Say dada!" thing. Now all his babbling is just "dadadadadadada!" Which my wife uses as an excuse to hand him off to me. But he smiles whenever he sees Daddy, especially in the morning. He's so happy in the morning. He's happy in general.

Father of Two

I have to admit, it's kind of amusing to see Luna go through the same stuff that Celestia and I did when Nymeria was a newborn. I've only seen her once or twice in the week or so after Maia's birth, but I can tell that Luna isn't getting much sleep.

Either way, I have another daughter now. I'm... not sure how I think about all of that. If I'd had another foal with Celestia then that would be fine. We're married. With Luna, though... She's my sister-in-law. Not my wife. Heck, she's not even some random mare that I have no relation to. Sister-in-law. It makes me feel like we're becoming European royalty. The relationship between Maia and Nymeria will be complicated enough, and that's not even counting how Equestria as a whole will see it. Obviously it was impossible to hide that Luna was pregnant, though a month of Discord did distract from that a bit, but we hadn't officially announced that I was the sire.

Not to say that some ponies weren't connecting the dots on that one. There wasn't some big front-page story in every newspaper that I was the father of Luna's foal and all of the worms that came in that particular can, but I'd heard about some rumors and whispers. Celestia doesn't get pregnant until I come along, then Luna gets pregnant? Even if I wasn't the father, ponies would still believe that.

Court had been over for the day for an hour before I decided to head on over to Canterlot for dinner. I hadn't seen Celestia and Nymeria in a few days, and I didn't have anything else planned for the rest of the day. On a whim, I passed by Kristen's room to see how she was doing. Most days she kept to herself, for the most part, which was often for the best when she was practicing her chaos magic. Her experiments could be a little... crazy. We'd put a lot of wards around her room to mitigate a lot of the damage that she could do. As I passed by, I put my ear to the door.

"Okay, Bob, here we go. Seven layer cake take four. Once again, I remind you that you are sworn to silence about the other three attempts. Okay. Let's see. With a little flourish of my hoof and a thought, we..." She let out a happy little noise. "I think I did it! Ooh, it looks delicious, Bob! Now that we've created it, we can do a taste te--"

An unholy shriek from inside the room cut her off, and I heard her shout in fear and surprise.

"Shootshootshootshoot! Fire extinguisher! Get the magical fire extinguisher!"

Whatever she'd made let out an even freakier cry, and I heard Kristen grab her "magical fire extinguisher" off of her wall. It had a foam in it that canceled out chaos magic, which was a big help for her experiments. With a cry of "die, die, die!" Kristen sprayed the creature with the foam. I wrinkled my nose when a nasty smell came out of her room, followed by a loud, unearthly wail as the creature slowly faded away. After a moment, the smell faded away, and I heard Kristen breathe a sigh of relief.

"Okay. Okay. Right. Alright. Good to know." Kristen cleared her throat. "Alright. Take five."

I rolled my eyes and walked away. She'd figure it out at some point. Celestia told me that Discord wasn't too much different after he was created. I can't say that I never did a few experiments with my magic, but Kristen's ceiling was far higher than mine in a lot of ways. She was really only limited my her imagination and the power she had to make that imagination a reality.

Pushing thoughts of my sister aside, I left a message with a nearby servant to give to Time Keeper and flew out the nearest window. I decided to fly to Canterlot instead of teleporting a few times. It gives me time to unwind from the day and think about whatever.

I make it to Canterlot in my usual time, and go straight for the dining room, where I know that my family will be having dinner. Sure enough, Celestia, Luna, Maia and Nymeria are all at the dining room table when I arrive. Celestia and Nymeria both smile at me when I come into the room, and I smile right back at them. It's always nice to see my wife and daughter. Maia is more focused on Luna, and only briefly glances over at me.

Gosh our relationship is going to be complicated. I'm sure that I'm going to love her as much as I do Nymeria, but I never saw myself as having a foal with both Celestia and Luna. I'd married Celestia. I was fine with having foals with her.

"Good evening, Antares," Celestia said as the two of us nuzzled before I sat down. "How has your day been?"

I shrugged and pulled a plate of salad over to myself. "About usual. Court wasn't too bad, and Kristen has spent most of the day practicing her chaos magic."

"Ah, has she used the chaos magic extinguisher that we made for her?" Luna asked. "I feel like that was a prudent gift for her."

"Yeah, she'd used it while I was passing by her room," I confirmed. "She was trying to make a seven layer cake. I don't know what she made, but the shrieks were unholy."

Celestia flattened her ears and facehooved, which made Nymeria giggle. "Yes, I know that the chaos magic can be... unwieldy in the beginning. It is especially compounded because it is chaos magic."

"Yeah, but when she finally gets total control over it, she'll be arguably the most powerful being in the world," I pointed out. “Maybe one of the most powerful in the universe."

I grunted and took another bite of my salad. In truth, I didn't like the idea of my sister being so powerful. Not that I was against her having magic, or anything, but that much power could go to a pony's head. She might not have the malice that Discord did, but according to Celestia, Discord wasn't born with that level of malice either. I didn't like the idea of needing to stop my sister with the Elements of Harmony, especially since an evil Kristen might be counting on my relationship with her to make me hesitate.

Either way, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, if we did. Maybe we'd be okay. We had hundreds of years before she got that powerful, at any rate. I pushed those thoughts aside as I turned to Luna and Maia.

"So, how is she, Luna?" I asked.

A beaming smile crossed Luna's face, and she leaned in to nuzzle her daughter. "I could not have asked for a better daughter, Antares," Luna replied. "She has some colic, but I can tell that the two of us will be close. She knows her mommy."

As if on cue, Maia gently put her tiny hoof on Luna's muzzle. Luna giggled and lowered her head, allowing Maia to clumsily try to crawl on top of it. Celestia and I smiled at the sight, and Nymeria looked on in confusion, but I could tell that there was a little bit of strain in Celestia's smile. I'm sure that there was some in mine as well. It was great that Luna was happy with a foal of her own, but I do wish that we'd found a way to give her one without me being involved in such a regard.

Still... Luna was happy. Truly happy in a way that I'd never seen her, and maybe in a way she'd never been. I couldn't completely discount that.

I lit my horn and brought Nymeria over to me with my magic. She cooed and reached her tiny hooves out to grab onto me when I got her close enough. I chuckled and wrapped my wings around her as she nuzzled into my chest. She muttered something in foal-talk and tried holding onto me with her hooves.

"So, is there any particular reason you've come to Canterlot, or is it just to see Nymeria and I?" Celestia asked.

"Just to see you and Nymeria," I confirmed, happily nuzzling my daughter. "Court was particularly dry today, so I figured that I'd come over to Canterlot to see the two of you." Luna let out a light laugh as Maia poked her muzzle again. My smile became a little more strained, but only for a moment. "And it's nice to see Maia as well."

"I'm glad," Luna replied, lighting her horn to take Maia off of her head. "She is a delight, isn't she?"

"Uh, definitely." I finished my salad and stood up, using my magic to put Nymeria on my back. Celestia stood up with me, and the two of us walked out of the dining room toward Celestia's room. Nymeria let out a happy coo and nuzzled into the spot between my shoulder blades. I spared one last glance to Luna and Maia before following my wife.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, with me not really wanting to say anything. Nymeria had fallen asleep on my back, and I managed a small smile at the sound of her tiny snores. As I expected, though, Celestia didn't let me be moody for long.

"Antares? What is troubling you?"

I grimaced slightly as the three of us reached Celestia's room. Celestia undid the wards around it, allowing the three of us to enter. When we were inside, I gently lit my horn and lifted Nymeria off of my back to place her into the crib. Once she was situated, I let out a deep breath and rubbed my temple.

"I don't know, it's..." I turned to Celestia. "It's about Maia and Luna."

"I see," Celestia replied. "You are still uncomfortable about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am." I sighed and laid down on a giant pile of pillows Celestia had in the middle of the room. "Obviously there's the matter of Maia and Nymeria being cousins and half-sisters, and I'm still not sure how our subjects are going to react to that once it gets out, and it will get out. Beyond even that, though, Luna is my sister-in-law. I'm not married to her like I am to you."

"I understand that, Antares," Celestia said, sitting next to me and draping a wing over my back. "I know that this is a unique situation for all of us."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered. "It's just that... I didn't feel like I had much of a choice about it, you know?"

Celestia frowned and straightened up. "Antares, of course you did. You could have said no at any point."

"Could I have, though?" I shook my head. "Yeah, I don't think so. You've seen how Luna is with Maia. I don't think either of us have seen her happier. If I had said no and taken that away from her, she would have resented me for it for the rest of our lives, which is..." I shrugged. "You know, forever."

"I understand that it would have been difficult for her," Celestia admitted. "But we could have begun researching a way to get her pregnant outside of you. You just seemed to be the best option."

"I know all of that," I replied with a wave of my hoof. "And I know that Luna has been through a lot of rough stuff." I grimaced and poked at a loose thread on one of the pillows. "She's had the jealousy issues from the start, what with the whole nopony appreciating her night, kind of thing. She has to live with that forever. Then she created the Nightmare Weapons that have almost killed me twice, she lost a battle in the war, and I can overall just see her being... lonely."

"She has you and I," Celestia said with a frown.

"She does, but we're also married and we have Nymeria. You have a husband and daughter. She probably felt like she could never have something like that. Probably because she can't. Not unless I wanted to marry both of you." I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Which, no offense to her, I don't."

"Of course. I can't imagine that polygamy was any more accepted on Earth than it is here these days," Celestia said.

I shook my head. "Definitely not. At one point in our history it was acceptable, though it didn’t last long."

"The same is true here as well."

"Right, but that's still outside of my point. There was no way for me to say no that I could see, especially with where we all were mentally after the war. I know that Maia has done Luna a ton of good. She's probably the best thing that has ever happened to Luna. I just wish that there was a better way for that to have happened."

Celestia sighed and nuzzled up close to me. "I know. And I am sorry if you felt like we pushed you into it. I know that Maia has helped Luna in ways that I hadn't even considered, but... we didn't think about you enough. It wasn't fair to you."

"No, it wasn't." I looked over at Nymeria, who was snuggled up peacefully in her crib. I tightened my jaw and took a deep breath. "It can't happen again. If Luna wants another foal, she won't be getting it from me. I'll happily see what kind of magic we can use to help her have another child, but it won't be mine."

Celestia paused at that, and I could almost hear her thinking over what I'd just said. After a minute, she nodded.

"I understand. If Luna wishes for another foal, we will find some other way, and... we should have from the beginning. I am sorry."

"Yeah. It's fine for now. I'm not going to do anything to hurt Luna by talking to her about this. Like I said: we were all in kind of a weird headspace after the war. Obviously I won't take any of my feelings out on Maia. I'm going to love her as much as I love Nymeria, but..." I sighed and tapped on the ground with the tip of my hoof. "I can't have it happen again. It's not fair to you or to Nymeria, and I especially think that it's a thorny issue where our subjects are concerned."

"I cannot disagree with that, Antares," Celestia admitted. "And I admit that I came at it from the perspective of wanting to help Luna. She has been through much in her life. More than anypony I have ever met. I cannot imagine the amount of good this has done for her." I opened my mouth to reply, but Celestia cut me off my putting her hoof on my back. "However, I admit that I failed to see your perspective on the matter. You have also been through more than anybody should have to. I do not wish for you to feel pressured when we ask something of you that you are not comfortable with."

"Okay. Thank you," I muttered. "I don't want to hurt Luna, and I wanted to help her, but we should have gone about it a different way. Can't deny that she's happy, though." I snorted and shook my head. "Can't deny that, and I'm happy that she's happy. Obviously we won't tell her about this conversation. I'd hate to have Maia's birth lessened in any way because of my concerns. We'll take this as a learning experience for all of us, and be happy at the blessing of a new life."

Celestia managed a small smile and straightened up. "If nothing else, we have that." She chuckled and looked over to Nymeria. "I look forward to seeing what their relationship is like. If it is anything like the relationship between Luna and I, then we are in for a wild ride."

I chuckled and sat up myself. "Yeah, Kristen and I had some crazy things growing up, too." I groaned and facehooved. "And now she's the God of Chaos. Didn't see that coming."

"Well, we do not know what the future holds," Celestia pointed out. "If nothing else, I doubt that she will be too destructive with her new powers."

I grunted and stood up. "I hope so. I really hope so."

* * * *

I groaned and put the magical fire extinguisher aside as yet another experiment failed. Ugh. I just wanted something to not blow up in my face! Thank goodness the fire extinguisher would never go empty. If I had to grab TD to fix something, that would be really embarrassing.
But no. I'll get good at this. Then I won't need it. As much.

"Alright, Bob, I think we should stop trying to make cake for a while. It isn't working out yet." Bob floated there in what I assumed was agreement. "Right. Let's try something else."

I grinned as an idea struck me. A wonderful, crazy idea. One that probably wouldn't explode, and even if it did, I had the magical fire extinguisher. I cleared my throat and pointed at the marble pedestal that I'd made that somehow hadn't turned out horribly.

"Alright, Bob, here goes nothing." I cleared my throat again and closed my eyes. "Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!"

When I opened my eyes, I saw it: the One Ring. I squeed in excitement and flapped my wings. No way! I've always wanted to have this! I trotted up to the pedestal and scooped the One Ring off of it. The inscription was still emblazoned on there, but it wasn't more than a few seconds before the markings on the band began to fade, as one might put it.

I walked up to a large mirror in my room and extended a wing. Since I had hooves instead of fingers now, I had to think outside of the box a bit here. I held my breath and slipped the ring around the largest feather on my left wing. I instantly vanished from in front of the mirror. Thankfully I didn't go into some weird crazy vision where the Eye of Sauron told me that it saw me, or something like that. All that happened is that I turned invisible.

Cool.

After a few moments, I slipped the ring off of my feather and instantly reappeared in front of the mirror. I let out a happy little sigh and brought the ring back to the pedestal.

"Bob, this could either be really good, or really bad."

Bob once again floated there in agreement.

Precious

I'd never really had a positive view of the Grand Galloping Gala. Back when I'd been a human, it was where I was 1. hit on by a pony for the first time, 2. told that I could never go home to my family, and 3. punched my now-wife and mother of my daughter in the face for the second time before my sister-in-law and mother of my other daughter snapped my spine over the back of a chair. Things had changed a lot since then, obviously. I wasn't even thirty yet and already I'd learned to not eve try to guess what direction your life would take. I was now ruling a nation, my sister was the chaos god, I'd conquered an entire country, brought human weapons to the land, and, and this is totally irrelevant, I can now make a killer cheesecake.

Anyway, back to the Gala, and the reason I hated it more than anything: it was boring. So, so boring.

And now my sister the chaos god would be attending.

This was going to be interesting.

I adjusted my suit jacket and checked myself in the mirror one last time. My mane and tail didn't really need to be styled, nor could they be, if I'm being honest, Not like I could run a comb through an ethereal mane. In any case, I looked at least presentable for the Gala.

I walked out of Celestia's room to see Kristen waiting for me. She was wearing a simple sky-blue dress with her blue mane done up in a ponytail. She was wearing some kind of simple chain necklace, but I couldn't see if it was holding anything. She sighed and began following me down the hall.

"So this is just five-thirty to nine, right? Not past that?"

I tilted my head. "Yeah, those are the official times. Ponies tend to start leaving at around eight/eight-thirty, so the ballroom is pretty empty by the time we actually hit nine. The only ponies left are the ones who are trying to make allegiances or discuss business and the like." Noticing her glum expression, I smiled at her and put my wing on her back. "Us alicorns have to stay until the last guest has left, but I don't think that anypony would notice or care if you slipped out a bit earlier."

Kristen let out a sigh of relief and ran a wing down her face. "Thank goodness. This kind of thing isn't really my type of gathering." She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Unless there's going to be something entertaining there?"

I sadly shook my head. "No, I'm afraid not. There's some quiet classical music with the occasional slow dance song, hors d'oeuvres to nibble on, and weak cocktails." I looked at Kristen out of the corner of my eye. "Although, I'm not sure about you drinking at all until you have a better grasp on your powers. I don't even want to know what you'd be like drunk with your powers."

Kristen scoffed and waved a wing at me. "Come on, do you even think I can get drunk? I know that you can't."

"I can, but it would take a drink strong enough to kill a normal pony," I admitted. "As in, 'one teeny-tiny sip would get them blackout drunk and anything more than that would kill them' kind of strong."

Kristen let out an amused scoff. "Seriously? How do you know that?"

Celestia and Luna made some in their younger, wilder days." I smirked and shook my head. "Suffice to say, the Everfree Forest wasn't always that bad."

"Geez," Kristen muttered as we neared the throne room. "I'm going to guess that they never made that again."

"'Made', no," I said. "'Have the bottle somewhere they haven't even told me about', yes."

"Dang, dude."

It was then that Kristen and I reached the throne room. The guards opened it up for us, revealing Celestia and Luna standing by the throne and talking among each other. They had their respective daughters on their backs.

"Ah, good evening, Antares," Celestia said, turning to me with a smile. "Are you ready for tonight's festivities?"

"As ready as I can be," I replied with a shrug. "Shouldn't be the worst, right?"

Or maybe it would be. There would likely be less attendance than years past. A lot of noble children died in the war, and the parents wouldn't ever forgive us for that. There was no way that I was seeing Count Vichy, for example. Probably ever again, if he had anything to say about it.

Overall, though, there would still be enough ponies that the Gala would technically worth it. Even if the Gala was a bit dry, it was an absolute social goldmine, both for us and the ponies attending. Alliances, business deals, and even marriages had either been arranged or at least started at the Gala more times than I could count, and that was just in the few short years I'd been ruling. I didn't expect this year to be any different. Now that the war had ended, the nobility would adjust, as they always did during tumultuous times. So one family lost all of its heirs. Another would pop into place. Several families had profited off of the war considerably, and that would influence the night as well.

Basically, the outside sees the Gala as a party for the rich to drink expensive cocktails and listen to some classical music with a little bit of well-mannered dancing thrown in for good measure, and that did happen, obviously. There was just a ton of political intrigue as well. Honestly, the crowns tried to stay out of it as much as we could, but we definitely kept an ear to the floor on all of it.

Regardless, we were in for a sort of interesting/mostly boring night.

"I'm a little jealous of Maia and Nymeria," I admitted. "They don't actually have to be there."

"True, but I do not think that they would find the Gala particularly interesting, and I do not want to see what it looks like when two alicorn foals are bored out of their minds," Celestia pointed out. "The strike me as the types to find their own entertainment."

"And we want this Gala to go relatively smoothly," I replied. My mouth creased into a slight frown. "Which is why I'm not totally sure of why you're inviting the Elements and Starlight."

"On top of it being good that they're getting out a bit more after the war, it will give me the first opportunity in some time to reconnect with Twilight, as well as observe how Starlight is coming along," Celestia explained. "Besides, Applejack is helping with the catering. I feel that she could use the money we're paying her for the farm. On top of that, it would be strange to only invite three of them."

"Makes sense, I guess," I said with a shrug. "Well, it's almost five-thirty, so the first guests should start to be trickling into the ballroom."

"That means places," Luna muttered. She lifted Maia off of her back with her magic and smiled at her. "Mommy has to do her job now, my dearest daughter. You be good for your foalsitter." Maia babbled a little foal-talk and put her tiny hoof on Luna's muzzle. Luna laughed and nuzzled her daughter before hoofing her over to a female bat pony while Celestia gave Nymeria to her nanny. Both mares bowed and left the room with the foals, who didn't take their eyes off of us and let out a few grunts that told me they'd be fussing soon once they realized that Mommy and Daddy weren't there.

It always made me feel bad whenever we left them with a sitter. They never liked it either, despite the connections they'd made with their nannies.

"Well..." I took a deep breath and turned toward the door. "Time to face the music."

"This is gonna suuuuuuck," Kristen whispered to herself.

"It's only for a few hours," Celestia said with a grimace.

Despite our worries, the guards opened up the throne room doors for us and we walked out of the throne room.

* * * *

By the time we made it to the ballroom, there was already a line of ponies waiting to greet us. I nodded to Luna and Antares, and they each took their positions. One of the wonderful things about having more than one royal for once was that we could speed through the greeting process much faster than in years past, which left me more time to talk to Twilight. Kristen spotted Applejack and Rainbow Dash milling among the food tables and made her way over to them. Good. The more ponies she could interact and become friends with, the better things would be here for her, chaos god or no.

I made eye contact with Twilight, who smiled and nodded back to me. She was conversing with both Fluttershy and Starlight Glimmer. From the initial reports I'd been given, Starlight had been on her best behavior during her parole, and she'd even become close with one of Pinkie Pie's sisters, of all ponies.

I pushed those thoughts aside as I turned to the first ponies in my line. Antares and Luna were already greeting theirs.

"Mister Jet Set. Miss Upper Crust. How lovely to see you again."

* * * *

It's too bad that Applejack and Rainbow Dash had to go off to help with the catering, because they were probably the most interesting ponies to talk to here. If there were two ponies most like me, it would probably be the two of them. Ah well, maybe I can just hide in the background near the food tables until it wasn't a faux pas for me to leave.

I grimaced and put my hoof to my chest, feeling the ring on the chain. I know that I told Bob that it might be good or bad that I'd actually managed to pull it off, but the back of my mind was starting to tip the meter in the "bad" category. I mean... it's the One Ring. Of course, all that I'd ever seen it do was turn me invisible, so maybe I hadn't actually managed to create something evil. I'd wanted to just leave it in my room, but something told me that I shouldn't; like somebody would break into my room and steal it if I wasn't watching it at all times.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. Whatever. It'd be fine. I'd have it right next to me for the next few hours, then I'd go back to my room and find some way to lock it away forever or destroy it. Maybe stick to only creating, I dunno, seven-layer cakes, or something like that. It might not have been a good idea to push myself right away.

I took a tiny plate off of the table and placed a few little appetizers on it. Applejack had made some pretty good looking fritters and tiny, bite-sized apple pies, so I'd at least have something to nibble on. And hey, if I liked them, I could practice making them in my room! It's not like I could gain any weight from only eating sugary stuff. Not that I did, I'd started craving more leafy things since becoming a pony, but the point stands.

Just as I was about to head on over to the cocktails, I heard somebody clear their throat behind me. I turned around to see a pretty-boy unicorn stallion with perfectly slicked blonde hair, tan fur, and what I could only describe as a smile that he probably thought was charming on his face. I forced a smile on my face and nodded at him.

"Um... hi."

"Hello, fair maiden," he said with a voice that was a cross between Frank Sinatra and a used car salesman. "My name is Golden Banks, son of Duke Money Banks, the head of the largest banks in Canterlot."

My already brittle smile threatened to shatter completely. "Uh. Cool. Good for you."

"Yes it has had its advantages," he said with a light laugh. "We were instrumental in helping fund the Equestrian army during the war. One might even say that the war would have dragged on far longer and been much costlier if we hadn't done our heroic part and partnered with the Equestrian government to do whatever we could to defend our home."

"W... wow," I said, my eyes darting around to see if I couldn't find some reason to excuse myself. He struck me as the type of guy who could go on about how great he was for hours unless I found a way to stop him. Preferably without using any of my chaos powers, but if push really came to shove...

"But enough about me--" Yes please. "You are Prince Antares's sister, am I correct?"

"Yep, he's my brother. Has been his entire life."

"Ah, so you are the older sibling?" He chuckled. "Very interesting. I did not know that. Tell me: do the two of you have any other siblings?"

"Uh, no, it's just us," I said, slowly beginning to back away.

"Well then you must be delighted to be reunited after all these years, Your Majesty," he replied, taking a step toward me. "My father and I agree that it is good for somepony in his... unique situation to thrive. A stranger to this world and now royalty." He tilted his head to me. "Much like yourself."

"Right." I turned away from him and tried focusing on what else I wanted to pile on my plate. I let out an almost inaudible sigh when I saw him light his horn and grab a plate of his own.

"And then he married our fair Princess Celestia. My father and I did not object to the match. It was wonderful to see a mare who has been through so much find true love," he continued. "All of Equestria has benefited. True love is something that is in short supply these days. Now you'll usually only find stories of handsome stallions sweeping lovely maidens of their hooves in stories, I'm afraid."

Okay... he'd really better not be going where I think he is.

"So you read a lot of romance novels, then?" I asked with the barest of smirks.

His oily grin flickered ever so slightly. "W-well no, but one does hear the fairy tales and the like."

"Right." I finished loading up my plate and began making my way to the punch fountain. I had hoped that he'd take the hint and not follow me, but I didn't expect him to, if I'm being honest.

"Now, then," he said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "It is an affront to decency that a fair maiden such as yourself is unaccompanied to a gathering like this."

Crap.

"I would certainly like to get to know you better. You looked lonely at the food table." He moved so that he was facing me and extended his hoof. "If you will allow me, I would love to be your escort through the evening."

Keep calm, Kristen. He probably doesn't know any better. He's probably used to mares swooning all over him. Maybe this is just his way of getting an "in" with my brother. Whatever the case, he doesn't care at all about me as a person. Just a means to an end. I step closer to him, give him a sad smile, put my hoof on his shoulder, and shake my head.

"No. Just... no."

* * * *

A brief lull in the line allowed Twilight to finally come up to me for a conversation. Luna and Antares only had a few ponies left themselves, so we might be able to enjoy the Gala for a short time. No doubt more ponies would show up in due time, but for the next few minutes at least, I had a chance to take a breather. I smiled as Twilight left Starlight with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie and walked up to me.

"Princess Celestia, it's wonderful to see you again," Twilight said as I leaned down for a nuzzle. "We don't get together enough."

"We certainly don't," I agreed. "Either I need to come to Ponyville more, or you need to come to Canterlot."

Twilight smirked and rolled her eyes. "Probably Canterlot. Ponies in Ponyville are getting better about you being around, especially with you married to TD, but I wouldn't put it past them to try to make something of a ceremony."

I made a light affirming grunt. "Most likely." I chuckled and looked over to Antares. "It is strange to hear you call him TD. Neither of us have seen him that way for many years."

"Yeah, but that's how we knew him when he was living in Ponyville, and he doesn't rule from there," Twilight pointed out. "We never really got to really see that transition."

"True." My smile faded slightly as my gaze flickered over to Starlight. "And how is your... student?"

Thankfully, Twilight's smile didn't fade. "She's been doing really good, actually. I think that she kind of lost her way and didn't have anypony there to really help her through it, and that's why she did what she did in her town."

"Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that," I said, my smile returning. "I hate to see a mare of her talents in a prison. She can do much good."

"I agree," Twilight replied with a nod. "It's not to say that there haven't been some temptations to slip back into her old ways, especially regarding her opinions on cutie marks. We've done a lot of work on that, and she's starting to come out of that opinion."

"Good. And she's making friends?"

Twilight perked up a little more. "Oh yeah, definitely! Pinkie Pie's sister Maud is in Ponyville to study, uh, rocks, and her and Starlight have hit it off. I think having a real connection with another pony has really helped her."

"That's wonderful."

Antares would likely be pleased by that news as well. In my discussions with him, I found that he harbored no hard feelings against her for what had happened in her village. Maybe it was just compassion, or maybe it was just his mindset after the war, but regardless, he will be happy to learn that Starlight is doing well. Maybe we could even shorten her parole...

I filed those thoughts away for the moment and continued talking to Twilight about less serious topics.

* * * *

"N-no?"

"Yeah, no."

Golden Banks blinked at me as though I'd just said that his father was lying to him and that the family was actually broke. His mouth twitched as though he wanted to give me another charming smile, but he just couldn't do it.

"Is... is your heart set on another, or do you find me repulsive in some way or...?"

"I may be a mare, but that doesn't mean that I'm some weakling who has to be 'escorted' everywhere," I growled. "I'm mostly here because my brother asked." I looked down at my plate and grabbed a tiny apple pie which I promptly ate. I gave an approving noise. It was pretty good.

"W-well, Princess Kristen, 'escort' may have been the wrong word choice," he sputtered as I turned to walk away from him. "We can at least have normal, casual conversation throughout the night, can we not?"

"About your dad and his bank?" I grumbled.

"Ah... no, we do not have to discuss that. I apologize." He cleared his throat and put on a little speed to catch up to me. "There are certainly other topics we can touch on. Your time in your home dimension, perhaps? Stories about your brother?"

I growled and squeezed my eyes shut. "Okay, first of all--"

Turns out that closing my eyes wasn't the best move. I didn't notice that I was swerving, and scraped the side of a pole hard enough that I heard my dress tear. I guess I hit it pretty hard if my dress tore, but I didn't actually feel any pain. I yelped more in shock than anything else. The impact knocked my off of my hooves.

The dull chatter that had been filling the ballroom instantly stopped when they all heard the sound of silly old me slamming into a pole. Even the music stopped. I gave them all an embarrassed look and blushed.

"Uh, sorry, everybody. Uh, not used to a pony body. Had too much punch." I waved at them. "So, you can get back to whatever it was you were doing."

They did start muttering again, and the music started back up, but I had a general idea of what they were talking about. Equestria's newest princess running into a pole like an idiot at the most prestigious social event of the year. Great.

As I stood up, I saw Rarity walking up to us, her eyes wide. Probably because of the dress.

"Oh, darling, your dress!" Got it. She took my hoof and began pulling me toward a side room. "You simply must let me repair it."

"Uh, yeah, probably a good idea," I said, trying to ignore the stares I was getting. When we reached an empty side room, I groaned and facepalmed... hooved... whatever. "Not my best moment."

Rarity chuckled and pulled out a small sewing kit that she had hidden in her dress somewhere. "I know how that can be. Don't worry, they'll likely forget about it when some other event comes along that grabs their attention."

"How long will that take?" I asked as she began sewing up the tear in my dress. Thankfully it wasn't too bad.

Rarity grimaced. "Oh... perhaps a few Galas from now."

I let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed my temple with my wing. "Wonderful. Maybe they'll stop hitting on me now, then."

Rarity let out a sad smile. "Yes, I'm afraid that most of them are rabid social climbers. Marrying the newest princess of Equestria would be a huge gain for them." Rarity let out an amused scoff as she finished sewing the hole shut. "In fact, your brother received such offers not long after he ascended."

"Bet that was fun for him," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Good thing he didn't take any of them up on it. He seems happy with Celestia."

"Yes, and I'm glad for it," Rarity replied. "They both look much happier, and little Nymeria is just as cute as a button!"

My smile was actually genuine at that. "Yeah, she really is. Both of the fillies are." I snorted in amusement. "It's a weird life we lead. Really weird."

"No doubt. As a mare who has been called upon to save the world several times over and was the target of an assassination attempt, I know better than most that life rarely goes the way you expect," Rarity said.

"Too true." I shook my head and poked at where Rarity had repaired my dress. "Thank you for this, by the way. I'm not sure what I would have done if I co--"

My eyes widened and my pupils shrunk to pinpricks. Uh... uuuhhhh. No. No no no. When I ran my hoof over the part of my neck where the chain holding the ring used to be, I felt nothing. I squeaked and patted the front of my dress hoping that it had maybe gotten stuck there. No such luck.

"Is something the matter, darling?" Rarity asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Uh..." I gulped and began walking out of the side room. "I kinda lost something. Should have landed somewhere when I hit the pole."

"What did you lose?" Rarity asked, tilting her head.

"It's this ring I had," I replied as we reached the pole I'd run into. "It was on a chain I had around my neck when--"

I groaned when I looked at the floor. The pieces of my chain were there, but the ring was nowhere to be found. Neither was Golden Banks so that was a plus, but he might be the one who found it. I tilted my head to look under the table, but no dice.

"Well darling, that's terrible!" Rarity said. "I will of course help you find it. What does it look like?"

"It's just a plain golden ring," I replied as I looked under the next table over. "It's super, super, super important that I find it right away."

"Well fear not, darling," Rarity said, lighting her horn. "I shall not rest until that ring is back in your possession."

* * * *

I took a sip of punch and shook my head as I looked around the ballroom. As a filly I'd heard of the Grand Galloping Gala before, but I never thought I'd actually go! A lot had happened in the past few months since Prince Antares and his sister had come to my village. Most of it was good, if I'm being honest. I certainly wouldn't have made a friend like Maud where I was from.

I drained the last of my punch and was about to go back to the punch fountain when I felt something bump my hoof. I frowned and looked down to see a plain gold ring on the floor next to my hoof. Huh. Weird. I lit my horn and picked it up to examine it. It didn't look like anything special. Just a plain gold ring. Somepony had probably lost it. Maybe there was a lost and found or a guard I could give it to or something.

Still, the ring felt... weird. Not quite right. My instincts were starting to twinge a little. This thing wasn't some ancient artifact, right?

"Hey, Starlight." I turned to see Twilight walking over to me. She motioned to the ring. "Whatcha got there?"

"Just some ring I found on the floor," I replied, holding it up to the light. "Not sure who it belongs to."

"Hmm. Weird," Twilight replied. "Maybe it's--"

She lit her horn and took it in her magic. The second her magical aura touched it, her eyes widened and she flinched back with a small cry.

"What... is this?"

I frowned and tilted my head. "Um... it's just a normal ring, right?"

"No, no it's not." Twilight beckoned me to follow her into a side room. She wasn't being paranoid, was she? I mean, sure, I'd felt that it was a bit off, but it didn't feel like there was any reason to flinch back like I'd been electrocuted. When Twilight was sure we were alone, she shut the door behind us and began casting spells on the ring.

"This isn't just a normal ring, Starlight. This is something else."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I figured that out when you started freaking out."

"Yeah, but..." She frowned and held the ring up. "It's definitely magical, but it isn't like any magic I've ever felt. The closest thing that I can compare it to is chaos magic, but even that's not quite right. I'd be able to feel it if this was Discord's doing."

"So is it a different form of magic or just a different signature?" I asked.

"That's the thing: I'm not totally sure," Twilight muttered. "I'm not even sure if it's dark magic or chaos magic or what." She nodded and lowered the ring to eye-level. "I think we need to tell Princess Celestia about this. She'll know what to do."

Now, obviously that was the right move. If anypony knew anything about something like this, it was Princess Celestia. On the other hoof... that somehow seemed like a bad idea.

"Maybe we should wait on that," I said, taking a step toward Twilight. "I mean, this is the Grand Galloping Gala, after all. The last thing we want to do is cause some kind of a panic in case somepony overhears us talking to Princess Celestia about some potentially dark artifact that we've found."

Twilight bit her lip, but didn't look away from the ring. "I mean, a panic wouldn't be the worst thing in case we need to deal with this fast, but..." She shook her head and rubbed one of her eyes. "Maybe we could just... take it to my room and study it a little more. You know, just to see what we have. If it's benign then there's no reason to cause a scene, right?"

"Right, right," I replied with a nod. "Plus if it is bad then there's two of us to study it. One of us can go get Princess Celestia if it goes wrong. One of us tries to control it while the other one gets help?"

Twilight shook her head. "I don't know if that's the best idea. What if... one of us accidentally, I don't know, activates it somehow and hurts the other pony?"

"But at the same time, it's best if you have backup," I countered. "Maybe it's powerful enough that it takes two high-level unicorns to stop it."

"Or I could do research on it and you can see who it may belong to," Twilight suggested. "If we find that out, we'd probably discover everything about it, right?"

I frowned. "Who made you the decision maker in this situation? I have some magical training, too. I've even done some study on magical artifacts."

"I was taught by Celestia herself," Twilight replied. "Trust me: if anypony can figure out what this thing is, it's me."

"How humble of you," I muttered under my breath. "I still think that I can at least help."

"I just said how you can help," Twilight growled. "You can find whose ring this is."

"No dice," I snapped. "It might be too dangerous for you to handle alone. You felt what it was like when you touched it for the first time: you flinched like you'd been hit with a cattle prod."

Twilight glared at me and floated the ring farther away from me. "That's just because I wasn't prepared for it."

"Okay, how about this?" I said icily. "Let's compromise and tell Princess Celestia about it. Then she can deal with it by herself."

Twilight's glare hardened, and I glared right back at her. It was better if I helped her with the ring, and she knew it. After a moment, she let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. You can help. You have to follow my instructions though, got it?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Yes, Princess Twilight."

Twilight scoffed but didn't reply to my little barb. She just wordlessly turned and walked out of the room toward her tower. In our frustration, neither of us noticed the multicolored spots that had appeared on the floor beneath us.

Don't Tempt Me, Starlight

Shootshootshootshootshoot.

I am probably never going to make another evil artifact from literature again. Even if Equestria was in dire need and I alone could save her.

Heh.

No, no, focus. The One Ring is lost somewhere in this crowd of snooty ponies, almost all of whom could use magic. I don't know how powerful they were on the whole, but I could definitely imagine that some of them could do more than basic levitation, and if I'd accidentally done a good enough job, the more powerful they were, the bigger the draw of the ring. That's not even getting into the potential ego portion of it. If someone like this Blueblood character my brother keeps mentioning gets the ring, that could also be very, very bad.

Or it would just make them turn invisible. I really hoped the latter, but a sneaking suspicion told me that I'd done too good of a job.

"Not to worry, darling, we will find your ring and return it to you," Rarity said. Her horn was lit and she was waving it over the ground like some kind of metal detector. "To confirm, you said that it was just a plain gold ring, correct?"

"Uh... yeah." I scanned the dance floor to see if it was maybe being kicked around like in the movies. No such luck. I was beginning to worry that somebody had picked it up and pocketed it, not knowing what it was.

"Perhaps we should ask your brother or Princess Celestia to help."

My pupils shrank to pinpricks, and I shook Rarity's shoulder. "Nono! Not my brother. I, uh..." I glanced over at him. He was greeting the last of the guests. "I don't want to bother him with something as silly as this."

Rarity gave me an uncertain look, but slowly nodded. "Very well. Then perhaps Twilight could assist us? She would certainly know the kind of spells to locate it."

"Uh..." While that was a better option than my brother, Twilight was a really powerful unicorn. Like, the kind of powerful that the ring would easily corrupt. Still, it's not like I'd let her keep it for more than a few seconds. If I was quick, she wouldn't pick it up at all. She'd just point me to it. Yeah, that was the best option. I nodded to Rarity.

"Yeah, I guess she'd be the best option."

"Excellent," Rarity replied with a warm smile. "I know she's around here somewhere. If I had to guess, if we find Starlight, we'll find her. I know that Twilight wanted Starlight to fit in as much as possible."

"Cool," I said through slightly gritted teeth.

As Rarity and I began to search, we found that we couldn't see either Twilight nor Starlight anywhere. A tiny nagging voice in the back of my mind began to suggest that one of the two of them might have... found the ring.

Gulp.

Man that thing can roll.

Makes sense, though. It's the One Ring made by a chaos god. If I had to guess, it'd want to go out and create as much chaos as possible. If it influenced two unicorns as powerful as that, they'd probably be able to do stuff even I couldn't do. I mean, there was a lot that I couldn't do at that time in my development, but they'd definitely be able to mess stuff up. In all honesty, I'm not sure how much of myself was put in the ring. Hopefully not ninety percent, or something like that.

"Hmm." Rarity looked around with a frown. "I can't see them at the moment, darling. Perhaps they've gone out to the gardens to mingle with Fluttershy."

"Hope so," I replied.

* * * *

"Okay, test number one on the ring of unknown power and origin." I adjusted my goggles as Starlight stepped away from the ring. We'd put it on a pedestal in the middle of my old room at the castle. "Alright, Starlight, cast your spell on three, right?" She didn't respond. I saw that she hadn't even put her own goggles on. She just kept staring at the ring. I cleared my throat, and she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. "Starlight. Count of three?"

She blinked and shook her head. "Sorry. Guess I zoned out for a second, there. What were you saying?"

I frowned. "Cast your spell on three."

"Right, right, spell on three," she replied with a wave of her hoof before putting her goggles on. I nodded back to her and turned my attention back to the ring.

"Okay. One... Two..." I lit my horn in preparation of the spell. "Th--"

"Hey, Twilight? What if we, you know... don't?"

I frowned and powered my horn down. "What are you talking about? We're trying to figure this out. What if it's dangerous?"

"I know, I know," Starlight replied, taking a step toward the ring. "But what if we, I don't know, damage it somehow? The backlash could level the castle."

"That's why we're doing experiments on it, Starlight," I pointed out. "It's clearly magical, and the chaos magic in it is what's making me nervous. Maybe it's something that Discord left behind!"

"I doubt it," Starlight said, taking another step closer and taking her goggles off. "You said yourself that it doesn't feel like Discord's chaos magic. How do we know it's even dangerous at all?"

"That's why we're doing experiments on it!" I snapped, mirroring Starlight's step with one of my own and also removing my goggles. "Seriously, the spell we were casting isn't even invasive! It's just to do a basic scan!"

Starlight glared at me and stepped toward the ring until she was almost touching the pedestal. "That could activate it." She lit her horn and her magic encased the ring. "I just want us to be safe."

"Starlight!" I snarled, lighting my own horn. I tore the ring off of the pedestal and levitated it over to me.

"I saw it first!" Starlight cried. She grabbed the ring back with her magic and leaped toward me. I bared my teeth and threw a shield spell between the two of us. She bounced off of it and her magic sputtered out. She instantly shot to her hooves and began trying to break through my shield, unaware that the pedestal had just turned into a seven-layer wedding cake. "Give me that ring, Twilight! You just want it for yourself!"

"I won't let you hoard it for own selfish reasons," I retorted, strengthening my shield as she began pounding away at it with her magic. "This is obviously a powerful artifact. It needs to be studied, not just... I don't know, locked away, or something!"

"I will study it," Starlight insisted. "I just don't need your help to do it!"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "What could you possibly find out about it that I couldn't in half the time? I was trained by--"

"Princess Celestia herself," Starlight cut in with a mocking tone. "We get it: you're Little Miss Powerful." She gave me a condescending smirk. "I heard that the spell that turned Antares into an alicorn was supposed to be for you. What's the matter? Did it turn out that you weren't good enough?"

"Oh that does it!" I dropped my shield spell and shot a beam of magic at Starlight. She yipped and dropped to the floor, causing my spell to hit a display case behind her. It turned into a small replica of some wheeled contraption that had the number three pained on it in several places. I barely even noticed. I was more focused on Starlight, who was just as pissed off as I was. Her horn was charging up for a spell that I could tell had a bit of power behind it. Seriously, what was her deal? She should have just let me figure this ring out and then I might have given it to her. That wasn't happening now.

Starlight shot her spell at me, but I waved it aside with some of my magic. Thing is... I shouldn't have been able to. Starlight's spell had some punch behind it, and I shouldn't have been able to just wave it aside like she was shooting sparks at me.

Starlight seemed to have the same thoughts.

"Y-you're cheating somehow," she said, shakily pointing a hoof at me. "Princess Celestia couldn't stop that spell that easily!"

Okay, well that just told me that she'd really try to hurt me. Now I knew that she couldn't get her hooves on the ring. Somepony as clearly unstable as her couldn't have an artifact this powerful. No, I obviously needed to take the ring myself for safekeeping. With the power it gave me, I could keep it safe from ponies like her. For that matter, I needed to keep this ring a secret in general. If other ponies knew about this ring and what it could do, who knew what they'd do to get it? I needed to study it to really get a grasp on what it was, then I'd make my decision. It might even be a bad idea to let Princess Celestia take it. She wouldn't have done the research on it that I did. I hoped that she'd understand.

That left the matter of what to do with Starlight.

"Give it to me, Twilight!" Starlight screeched. "It's mine! I saw it first!"

"Starlight, just calm down and--"

"You stole it from me!" Starlight insisted. "I had it in my magic, and you just tore it away because you're a selfish nag!"

"You're delusional," I snapped. "I'm just protecting the ring from ponies like you!"

"Oh, and what exactly are 'ponies like me', Twilight?" Starlight snarled. "What does a prissy, stuck-up unicorn think 'ponies like me' are like?"

"You stole cutie marks from ponies and enslaved them!" I shot back. Starlight began circling me like I was a wounded animal. "Even Discord didn't do stuff like that!"

"Oh screw you!" Starlight cried.

Before I could say anything else, Starlight pounced. I couldn't get my shield up in time, and she slammed into me, sending us both tumbling to the ground. She slapped at my horn to get me to drop the ring. I moved my head in time to prevent her from hitting my horn, but she did catch me right under the eye. I grunted in pain, but shot a spell at Starlight that sent her flying back into my old bed, which turned into a pile of buttered noodles. She briefly slipped on the butter in her attempts to get back up to continue what I wouldn't even call a fight. I didn't want to hurt her as much as she wanted to hurt me, but if I needed to rough her up a bit to protect the ring, I'd do what I needed to.

The ring was just too important to let somepony like her have it. I could probably do a lot of good with the kind of power it clearly gave me. Maybe I could even give Applejack her eye and Rainbow Dash her leg back. Fixing Fluttershy's scar would probably be foal's play. I doubted that Starlight would help ponies like that. She'd probably use it to take the cutie marks of everypony in Equestria!

But... wait... buttered noodles? I didn't cast a spell like that. Why would...?

I took my focus off of Starlight for a moment too long, and she tackled me again. I lost focus for long enough that I couldn't move my head before she slapped at my horn. Since we were both still falling back, the ring was flung back instead of just dropping. We both turned to where it was flung to just as it bounced off of the wall and slid perfectly over my horn.

* * * *

I was beginning to regret taking the ring out of my room more and more. The longer Rarity and I searched for both the ring and Twilight, the louder the voice that said Twilight had it grew. The worst part was that I still didn't know everything the ring could do. I'd just wanted it to make me turn invisible. Maybe prank TD a bit. Now one of the most powerful unicorns ever might have something famous for corrupting the powerful in her possession.

"Hmm, I'm beginning to worry for you, Kristen," Rarity said, casting another spell. "Usually my gem finding spell can find things like jewelry, but I'm not finding anything." She grimaced. "I suspect that somepony else might have found it and taken it out of the castle."

"Great," I groaned. "I just wanted to create something fun. If I'd know it would turn out like this, I never would have done it."

Rarity raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "You created the ring yourself?"

"What ring?"

I yipped as the last person I wanted to hear came up behind me. My wings flared out in shock, and I turned around so fast that I almost smacked Rarity in the face. TD, Celestia and Luna were standing behind me. I gulped and forced a smile on my face.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing important. Just... I tried to see if I could create a ring with my..." I looked around to see if anyone was listening. "Skills."

"Huh, that's kind of random," TD said. "Just a regular ring?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Out of everything I've created, a simple ring is ridiculous?"

"I didn't know that you were creative like that," Rarity said. "You have some skill in metallurgy?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, I felt a pull, almost as if somebody was grabbing me by the head and trying to drag me behind them. There was only one thing it could be.

"I think I know where the ring is."

* * * *

"Twiliiiight! Twiiliiight!" Starlight giggled and bounced around the room. "Are we playing hide and seek? Ooh, can I be it?"

I couldn't even begin to respond, even if I wasn't hiding from her. Obviously I was invisible or had some kind of optical illusion around me, but that didn't explain... anything else. The second the ring had slipped onto my horn, the entire room turned into a bright field. The sky was the brightest blue I'd ever seen, the grass was immaculately trimmed and a pleasing shade of green, and every object in the room had turned into giant lollipops and cheerful flowers. Starlight was acting like a happier, more hyperactive version of Pinkie Pie, which was probably the most unsettling thing of all.

"Twilight, I'm going to find you!" A stream of happy bubbles floated out of her horn. When they started popping on one of the lollipops, the lollipop itself burst into bubbles. Okkkkaayyyy. Whatever the ring had done when I'd put it on, it had clearly driven Starlight even more crazy than she'd already been.

At least she wasn't trying to kill me anymore. Maybe if I just snuck out of the room I could go get Princess Celestia to help Starlight. This had to be a breach of her parole. No need to bring the ring up, of course. I'd just say we... got into an argument, or something like that. Yeah, that sounded right. I took a deep, quiet breath and began sneaking toward the door. Before I could even light my horn, the door opened.

* * * *

"Where are you, Twilight?! Give it back to me! It's mine!"

Starlight shot out a beam of magic that obliterated a nearby bookshelf, but barely even reacted to the sight of the five of us walking into the room. Celestia's eyes widened, and she wrapped her magic around Starlight's horn before encasing her in her field. Starlight snarled at Celestia and tried thrashing about.

"Let go of me! Make her give it back! I saw it first! It's mine!"

A slight frown crossed TD's face, and he slowly turned his head to me. "Kristen? Exactly what kind of ring was this?"

I gulped and began looking around for Twilight. I couldn't see her, but I could sense her standing right next to the door trying to squeeze by us. I sighed and waved my hoof. The ring instantly slid off of her horn and to me, causing her to reappear and make a desperate grab for the ring. Starlight's eyes widened, and she began thrashing harder in Celestia's grasp.

"See?! She stole it from me! Give it back!"

"It's not yours," Twilight insisted. "You could never use it responsibly. I'm taking it back to Ponyville to study so I can figure out everything about it! Once I do, I'll seal it up and only use it when I need to."

TD's frown deepened ever so slightly, and he took the ring out of my grasp with his magic. The ring was bathed in a burst of fire, but before I could register that he was burning the ring, the fire went out, leaving only the ring engraved in black speech. TD quietly sighed and facehooved.

"You seriously created the One Ring?"

"I didn't know that it would do this!" I insisted. "I thought that all it would do was turn me invisible and just... look like the ring, that's all."

"I see." He glanced over at Twilight, who was inching toward him. "And how much of yourself did you put into the ring?"

I shrugged, but it was then that I noticed the Nascar car replica, seven-layer wedding cake, and the pile of buttered noodles. "Apparently more than I thought."

"How did you even make this?" TD asked, turning his attention to Starlight, who probably would kill all of us to get the ring back, if the way she was screeching and thrashing was any indication.

"I just said the words and pointed," I explained. "You know, just to see if I could."

"Wait, how would that create a magic ring?" Rarity asked. "You're a pegasus, and a new one at that. Creating something like this out of thin air would take serious power."

"A little, yeah," I said, taking the ring from TD. He didn't stop me. I think it's because he didn't want to be affected by it either. Fine by me. I was going to get rid of this thing however I could. TD was probably more powerful than Twilight, and it didn't take a genius to see that it was affecting her.

"Rarity's right," Twilight said with a frown. "It would take a lot of power to make something this important to just appear. That would take something like..." Twilight's eyes narrowed, and she took a step toward me.

Gulp.

"You know, I haven't gotten to study the ring much yet, but I have sensed some... chaos magic behind it.," Twilight began.

Guuulllppp.

"Given everything that's just happened, and that it doesn't feel like Discord's magic..."

I let out an uneasy chuckle and looked around the room. Rarity's jaw had dropped, and the alicorns were grimacing.

"Twilight, you must understand something," Luna said. "Given everything that Discord did, we felt it pertinent to keep Kristen's abilities a secret."

"How could you?!" Twilight cried. She motioned to Starlight. "You've seen what she can do! And if she has that ring..." Twilight gasped and lit her horn. "We have to get it away from her as soon as possible! She could take over all of Equestria with that!"

I could see that Twilight was gearing up for a spell, and I wasn't sure that the alicorns could stop her before she got something off, especially with Celestia restraining Starlight. On instinct I flinched back, but given my panic, I flew back farther than I intended. Before I could do anything to stop it, the ring flew out of my hooves and out a nearby window.

Starlight wailed and said something about it being hers, but the rest of us all looked out the window in momentary shock.

"Uh..." I began walking toward the window. "We should probably go get that."

* * * *

I hummed to myself and bounced down the path around the castle. The Gala was so much funner this time around, especially since I got to help make the food! Applejack helped out a lot too, which was even cooler! That reminded me: I hadn't seen any of my friends in a little bit. Not even TD or my new friend Kristen! I still needed to throw her a party. Maybe once the Gala was over I could go into my party planning cave and think of some good ideas.

Just as I turned to go back into the castle, I felt something bump against my hoof. I stopped bouncing (which is too bad since bouncing is so much fun!) and looked to see what my pink hoofsie had hit. Huh. It just looked like a plain gold ring. I looped the tip of my mane through it and tossed it into the air, catching it in my hoof before it hit the ground.

What was this?!

In Place of a Chaos Lord

I was beginning to suspect that I'd done too good of a job. Seriously, I didn't want it to turn out like this! I just wanted to make something that looked like the One Ring to see if I could and maybe pull a few pranks, but I didn't think that it would actually end up corrupting ponies. I should have just kept it in my room.

Although... that did bring something up. If the Ring had a mind of its own in the stories, then a ring made by a chaos lord would also probably have a mind of its own and want to go around and spread chaos wherever it could, hence why it was rolling so well.

That actually explained a few things.

So Celestia, TD, Twilight and I were standing outside of Twilight's window, each of us using our respective magic to try to find the Ring while Luna stayed behind to help Starlight. So far nothing was coming up. That was less than ideal. It seemed that the Ring made an effort to be in the hooves of anyone it could. If we couldn't find it right outside the window it had gone out of, that probably meant that someone had it.

I am never making a ring of any kind ever again.

TD sighed and powered his horn down. "Sorry to say, but I don't think it's here. I think that four super-powerful ponies would be able to find it if it was just lying a few hooves away from where it would have landed."

Twilight glared at me out of the corner of her eye. "Maybe we should get the Elements of Harmony to deal with it. Just blast the Gala until this super evil ring that controls minds isn't a threat anymore."

"Well that's not really what I made it to do," I admitted. "I really just wanted a ring to make me turn invisible."

"And your chaos powers didn't quite follow your probably vague instructions," TD guessed.

"And that's another point," Twilight said, wheeling around to face Celestia. "When were you going to tell me that TD's sister is the new Discord?"

Celestia let out a quiet sigh. "At least until some of the scars of Discord had begun to fade. I assure you, Twilight, Kristen is not Discord. She has none of his malice or desire to take over the world."

I'm glad that TD put that sound spell around us.

Twilight scoffed. "Oh, and what do you call the Ring? You're telling me that she wouldn't use an artifact of potentially untold power to take over the world?"

"I seriously wouldn't," I said in a small voice, flattening my ears. "I don't actually want to hurt anybody. I never would have done this if I thought that it would turn out this way."

Twilight glared at me. "Hmph. We'll see. A word of warning, though: we've used the Elements on the chaos lord before. If you try to hurt my friends, I won't hesitate to use them again."

I flinched back at that, but... I couldn't really blame her for that. TD and Celestia were both frowning at her, with Celestia looking like she was about to lecture Twilight about not making assumptions, or something like that, but yeah, I could definitely see where she was coming from.

"We'll talk about all of this later," TD said, cutting into what might have turned into some kind of Twilight rant. "First we need to find the Ring, then we'll deal with destroying it if we can."

Yeah, and that might be a big "if."

"Alright, we have to focus and find the Ring," TD said. "Obviously Kristen can sense where it is when somepony puts it on, so that could help us out if we get there fast enough. If we search the Gala then maybe we can find somepony who has it naturally. Pony dresses and suits tend not to have pockets, so that could help us narrow things down." He shrugged with his wings. "It's a place to start, at least."

"Good idea," Twilight said with a nod. "Once we find it, I can take it and figure out how to destroy it."

TD and I exchanged a look, but didn't comment. I really hoped that it didn't turn into a fight once we got the Ring back. The Gala was precariously close to being destroyed as it was, depending on who had the Ring. The four of us went back into the main ballroom of the castle. Not much had changed, really. The ponies were still talking with each other about whatever, and quiet, classical music was still playing. No one had put the Ring on in here as far as I could tell.

Now that we were actually in the room, I reached out with a subtle scan of magic. My eyes widened when I felt a slight tug in the direction of the dessert table.

"I'm getting a signal. It's close."

The other three breathed a slight sigh of relief and began following me. There weren't many ponies at the table. Only a stallion with a blue mane and mustache, Rarity, Applejack and...

Pinkie Pie.

Oh no. Ooohhhh no. If Pinkie Pie had an evil chaos ring...

I motioned for the other three to stay back and walked up to the group. They all turned to me with a smile.

"Kristen!" Rarity said. "How delightful to see you again." She motioned to the stallion beside her. "Kristen, this is Fancypants. He's one of the premier fashion moguls in Canterlot."

Fancypants gave me a gentlemanly smile, took my hoof, and gave it a quick peck. "Good evening to you, Princess Kristen. I trust you are finding the Grand Galloping Gala entertaining?"

"Uh, it's certainly been different," I said, forcing a smile on my face.

"Well I think it's been superrificly fun!" Pinkie squeed, bouncing up and down a couple of times. "It's always wonderful to hang out with my friends."

"And the food ain't too bad either," Applejack chimed in with a little smirk.

I chuckled and reached out with my magic again. The pull was much stronger this time. There was no mistaking it, though. Unless she had something similar to the ring, or something like that, I don't know, Pinkie Pie had the One Ring. I grimaced, looked back to TD and jerked my head at Pinkie Pie. Him, Celestia and Twilight all groaned and facehooved. Yeah, same.

I took a deep breath and turned back to Pinkie. "Hey Pinkie Pie? Uh, can I talk with you about something for a minute? Shouldn't take too long." I hoped.

Pinkie frowned and tilted her head, but nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Okay, step one complete. I beckoned her to follow me, and when we reached TD, Celestia and Twilight, they led us out of the ballroom and right to Celestia's throne room. Pinkie Pie was humming and bouncing beside us. This would take a little skill to get away from her. I didn't know if the Ring had already taken hold of her a little bit, which would likely mean that she wouldn't give it up so easily. Pinkie Pie was crazy enough as it was. Pinkie Pie with the One Ring would be... I don't know. Worse than Discord but with none of the malice?

When we reached the throne room, the four of us all turned to face Pinkie, who was giving us an expectant smile. I cleared my throat and stepped forward.

"So Pinkie... I was wondering: did you happen to find a ring on the ground tonight?"

"You mean this?" Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out the Ring, balancing it on her hoof. "Is this it?"

Twilight got a hungry look in her eyes and she lit her horn. "Yes. We need it back or else something bad could happen!"

Pinkie raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "What kind of bad? Is it an evil ring?"

"More like a chaotic one," I replied, reaching my hoof out to take it in my magic before Twilight could. "I kinda accidentally made a ring that was a little too powerful."

Pinkie frowned and looked down at it. For some reason my magic wasn't working to take it back!

"Huh. So this is kind of like some sort of chaos ring with some of your powers in it?" She glanced up at me briefly. "I saw you turn a plate into a big cookie, and I figured that you might have Discord's power now. I didn't say anything because if you didn't want to, then it wasn't my place."

Well, at least there was that.

"But if you put some of your magic into this ring, and it does all kind of chaos stuff, and Twilight really wants it and you want it back and you say that it's really powerful..." Her eyes narrowed and she brought her hoof back. "Then..."

She brought the ring to her chest and her eyes began glowing pure white. To make matters worse, the outlines of a horn and a pair of wings appeared around her, and she began lifting into the air.

"Instead of a chaos god you would have A QUEEN! NOT SCARY BUT WITH PARTIES THAT WILL LAST FOREVER! RANDOM AS THE SEA! STRONG ENOUGH TO BANISH SADNESS FOREVER! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND LAAAAUUGH!"

Twilight, Celestia and TD instantly lit their horns for what I thought was going to be a pretty nasty fight, but before they could do anything, Pinkie's eyes returned to normal, the outlines of the horn and wings faded, and she landed back on the floor. Then...

She began laughing her head off.

"Oh my gosh!" she giggled. "You should have seen your faces! Priceless! Rainbow Dash is going to have to come up with something really great to beat that prank!"

"P-prank?" Twilight said, leaning against Celestia like she'd just had a heart attack.

"Uh-huh! Pretty good, right?" She giggled one more time before holding the Ring out to me. "Here you go."

I frowned and slowly reached my hoof out to take it. "Just like that?"

"Mhm," she replied with a nod. "It's not mine, silly. It'd be really mean of me to just steal something from you, especially since you pulled me aside to talk to me."

"Pinkie, what are you doing?!" Twilight cried, lighting her horn to snatch it out of Pinkie's hoof. "Kristen is the new chaos god, remember? With that ring she could--"

Pinkie frowned and turned to Twilight after I'd taken the Ring from Pinkie. "Twilight, you shouldn't be such a Judgey Mcjudgerson. Just 'cause Discord did bad stuff doesn't mean that Kristen will just because she has his powers."

"Yeah, and I feel really bad about making this," I chimed in. "I didn't mean for it to be this powerful."

"It still is," Twilight muttered. "And you should have seen what it did to me and Starlight!"

Oh, yeah. Starlight.

"Well what kind of friends would we be if we didn't make sure she was okay?" Pinkie said. With that, she began bouncing out of the throne room in her usual manner, singing some random song.

"Hey dol! Merry Dol! Ring a ding dillo! Ring a dong! Hop along! Fal lal the willow! Pink pom jolly Pinkie, Pinkie Pieadillo!"

Oy.

* * * *

After TD helped me teleport the Ring back to my room, the five of us went back to Twilight's old tower to see how Starlight and Luna were doing. When Twilight opened the door, Luna and Starlight were both sitting on the floor, and Starlight had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She gave us all a tired look when we entered.

"I guess I'm going to jail now? This probably violates my parole."

Celestia shook her head. "No, these are extenuating circumstances, I think."

"At least there's that," Starlight muttered.

"Aw, cheer up, Starlight," Pinkie said, bouncing over to her. "You want a cupcake?"

"Not really," Starlight groaned. "Right now food--"

Before Starlight could say anything else, Pinkie Pie shoved a cupcake into Starlight's mouth and wrapped her in a tight hug. A small smile crossed Starlight's face as she chewed the cupcake.

"Thanks, Pinkie. I guess that does help."

'Well, now that that's settled, there is the matter of what to do next," Luna said, getting to her hooves. "Now that several ponies know of Kristen's new powers, things will become much more complicated."

"Well so far it's just us in this room," TD said with a shrug. "I know that I can keep it secret."

"Luna, Kristen and I haven't told anypony either," Celestia said.

"And I haven't either, and since you don't want me to, I won't!" Pinkie Pie made a bunch of weird motions. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

With that settled, the four of us looked over to Twilight and Starlight, both of whom were exchanging uneasy looks. When they noticed us staring, they quickly looked away.

"Well, I guess," Twilight muttered. "But after everything Discord did..."

I grimaced and walked up to Twilight. I raised my hoof and she flinched, but she didn't stop me from putting it on her shoulder. "Look, I may not have the same experiences with Discord that you guys did, but I know enough. He was pretty cruel. He brought my brother back to Earth just because he knew it would torture him by kind of making him choose between his families. Then there was all of the stuff he did to you guys. That kind of thing freaks me out, and I would never do that to any... pony."

Ugh. I'm going native.

Twilight and Starlight still looked unsure, but thankfully Pinkie chimed in behind us.

"I believe her."

Twilight glanced over at Pinkie, then back to me. After a few moments, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"That's good enough for me."

"Which is good enough for me," Starlight said.

I smiled at Twilight for the first time in a long time, and the two of us hugged it out. when we broke away, I took a deep breath and turned to everyone else.

"Now, I should probably get rid of that ring, huh?"

In the Fires

Okay, now that Twilight and the rest of them didn't think that I'd go all "Dark Lord Kristen" on them, that left the matter of what to do with the Ring. Obviously I couldn't keep it. What if somebody not so benevolent got their hooves on it? That could be a real issue if... I don't know, some Diamond Dog warlord got ahold of it.

Well, I certainly wasn't going to let that happen.

So as to avoid suspicion, we all waited until after the Gala to get anything done. I was jittery the entire night, waiting for either some pretty boy colt to hit on me, or for something to go wrong with my chaos magic. We'd long since discovered that my magic was affected by my emotions, so if I was nervous, then it might not take more than one good startling to get me to turn a table into a canoe made of pineapple slices, or something like that.

Thankfully, though, the night went without incident. Phew.

The second we could, Luna, Celestia, TD and I were in my room. Well, Bob was floating in his pool too, but he wasn't really concerned with the Ring like the rest of us. Can't forget Bob, though. Anyway, the four of us were around the pedestal where the Ring had appeared when I first... summoned it? Created it? I don't know. Either way, we had to get rid of it as soon as we could before more things went wrong. Based on how it acted so far, it matched up with the Ring having a mind of its own, and since I had made it, it probably wanted to just go around and cause whatever chaos it could.

"Okay, so how do we destroy this?" Celestia asked, leaning in a little closer to examine the Ring. "You said that this was from a book on your world. How did they destroy it there?"

"Well, they took it to the volcano where it was made and tossed it into the lava," TD said. "Which might be a problem, as Equestria doesn't really have active volcanoes on that level." He glanced over at me. "How did you say that you made this again?"

"I just said the words on the Ring and pointed and... voila. Ring of Power." I tapped my jaw and poked the Ring. "Maybe if I said the words backwards?"

"I don't know if--"

"Okay. Here it goes." I cleared my throat and pointed at the Ring. "lutapmirk ihsi-muzrub hga kûlutakarht hsa lutabmig gzan hsa kûlutabrud gzan hsA!"

The four of us stared expectantly at the Ring, but nothing happened. It didn't vanish or do much of anything, really. It just sat there.

"Well, worth a shot, I guess," I muttered.

"And you are sure that you cannot summon an active volcano long enough to destroy the Ring?" Luna asked.

I gave her a flat look. "Oh yeah, I'm sure that won't cause any problems at all. Also, I'm just getting good at making small things, and a freaking volcano doesn't fit in that category."

"Well we can't just leave it here," TD said. "We gotta find something to do with it. I don't exactly fancy putting it in my weapons room. Who knows what it will do if it's unsupervised. I don't think we have any options that will make us feel good. The Ring must be destroyed."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Yeah, we really needed to figure this out, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't completely disappear if we locked it away somewhere. From what I'd seen so far, it reacted to the ponies around it. If we put it in a lockbox, I'm not totally sure of what it would do.

Granted, I had seen it turn a glass case into a Nascar car replica, so better safe than sorry here.

"And there are no weapons that can destroy it?" Celestia asked.

I shook my head. "No, that's why they needed to to toss the thing into a volcano." I grimaced and tapped my jaw. "Maybe if I made a pool of lava..."

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea right now," TD said uneasily. "Or at the very least, we'd really need to be very precise about it. Obviously if that went wrong it would be a disaster."

"Right." I frowned and tilted my head. "Maybe we could try a lightsaber?"

"I mean we..." TD paused as what I had said fully registered with him. He stared at the Ring for a few seconds, then slowly looked over to me. "Can... can you do that?"

I shrugged. "Worth a shot, at least."

I couldn't miss the slightly giddy look in his eyes. He'd gotten better at hiding what he was thinking, I'd seen that much since I'd been in Equestria, but not always. Truth be told, I really wanted this to work out, too, now that I'd thought of it. Celestia and Luna naturally were a bit in the dark.

"A lightsaber?" Celestia said. "What is a lightsaber?"

"It's just the best weapon ever," TD said, a small grin appearing on his face. "If she can actually make one, it would probably actually work.

"Why? What does it do?" Luna asked.

TD stepped back and motioned for me to start. "Oh, you'll see... hopefully."

Right. No pressure for me, then. I cleared my throat and cracked my neck a little bit. Here goes nothing. I closed my eyes and extended my hoof, focusing on what a lightsaber looked like in my mind's eye. The hilt, the blade, the awesome hum as you swung it around. Then I visualized it slicing right through the Ring. Maybe if I did, it would actually work. Maybe not, though. Chaos magic, and all that.

It wasn't a few seconds before I felt something metal hit my outstretched hoof. I opened my eyes and my heart leaped at the sight. In my hoof I held a perfect replica of Luke's lightsaber from Episode Four. TD squeaked in joy despite himself, and I couldn't stop the gigantic grin that crossed my face. Celestia and Luna were a little less impressed.

"Is that all?" Celestia asked. "I was expecting something a little more... impressive."

I glared at her and floated the lightsaber in the air with my magic. "It's not on yet. Sheesh, have patience, young one."

Celestia glared at me, but I wasn't going to let her mood stop me from fulfilling a childhood dream of mine that I'd had since I first saw this thing switch on in the movie. I flipped it so that the blade would go into the air when I turned it on and pressed the switch.

A bright blue lightsaber blade (beam?) shot out of the hilt, and my heart started doing cartwheels. A friggin' lightsaber!

"It's beautiful," TD whispered, staring at it in awe. I backed up from the rest of them and gave it a few practice swings. It hummed like a real lightsaber. I was pretty sure that I'd done it!

"It is more interesting when it is actually on," Luna admitted. "Can this cut through anything, or something of that nature?"

"Pretty much," I said, my gaze turning to the Ring. "Some exceptions, and I hope the Ring isn't one of them, but right now we have a good shot." I pointed the lightsaber blade a the Ring and narrowed my eyes. "Alright, ladies and gentleman. Three immortal rulers and the chaos god are about to try to destroy the One Ring with Luke Skywalker's lightsaber. You ready?"

"Ready," TD said, motioning for the other two to step back.

Alright. Here goes nothing.

I raised the lightsaber high and focused all of my attention on the Ring. If this didn't work, I wasn't sure of what we were going to do, but this would be a good try. I swung the lightsaber down as hard as I could, but before it could connect, it was bathed in a bright blue glow.

"Wait, hang on a second, Kristen."

I frowned and looked over to TD, who was staring at the ring with his horn lit. That... might be bad.

"What? What's the problem?"

"Well, I'm was just thinking... how are we sure that it's going to work? It could... end up bad somehow, right?"

"Antares is correct," Luna said, taking a step toward the Ring. "And would it really be such a bad thing to have a weapon like this?"

"Perhaps not," Celestia said. "Obviously it wouldn't be a first resort, but it could be useful if used correctly."

"Uh..." I blinked in confusion and looked between the three of them. "Oooorrrr we could not. You all saw what this did to Twilight and Starlight, right? You want that to happen to other ponies?"

"Of course not," TD said. "That's why we'd be really careful with it. You know: just keep it under maximum maximum security. Only the four of us could get close to the thing."

I scoffed. "Weren't you just saying that you didn't think you could keep the Ring safe under those circumstances? That's one of the big reasons we're even trying to destroy it right now in the--"

I was cut off when I heard quiet whispering in the back of my mind. Ah. That explained everything. I sighed and facehooved.

"Guys, the Ring is trying to preserve itself. You're under its influence."

"Nonsense," Luna said with a wave of her hoof, triggering nods from the other two. "We are aware of the Ring's power. I think that we would use that knowledge to resist its influence."

"And hey, since we thought about this, now we have a lightsaber out of the deal, too!" TD pointed out. "Seems like a win-win to me."

I used some of my magic to nullify his, giving me control of the lightsaber back.

"Well technically speaking it's my ring and my lightsaber, and since they're my things, I think I'm going to do this," I growled.

Celestia sighed and shook her head. "Dear Kristen. I know that you are young yet and have not been in your position for long, but one of the things we've all learned is that it is best to put our subjects ahead of our own desires. We have just endured a horrible war, and if this could prevent another..."

"We'll take good care of it," TD insisted. He lit his horn and grabbed the lightsaber again. "Can't just destroy something this valuable, though."

I sighed. I never should have made this darned thing. Never again. However, I needed to be smart about this. If it came to blows, there was no way that I was winning against three powerful alicorns, lightsaber or no. Plus that's the first thing TD would go for. Also I didn't want to hurt them. Ugh. Chaos indeed.

"I guess so," I muttered, triggering smiles from the three of them. "I just have one question about how you're going to use it, though."

"Of course," TD said. "This is an important artifact that you've created, after all."

"Right." I walked over to TD until I was just in front of him. "I guess my one question about it is..."

Before he could do anything, I flew up to eye-level with him, used my chaos magic to turn my skeleton into adamantium, then headbutted him as hard as I could. He flew back with a cry, and his magic sputtered out, giving me full control of the lightsaber again. Celestia and Luna lit their horns, no doubt to attack me somehow, but with speed I didn't know I was capable of, I spun around and swung the lightsaber at the Ring as hard as I could. It appeared that I did a good job with its creation, as the blade sliced the pedestal in half vertically. A shockwave of power sent all four of us flying back. I hit the wall, which hurt, and slid down to the floor, which also hurt a bit.

It took us all a second before we all began to recover. That blast of power had knocked us all off of our hooves. I began to regain my bearings a bit, I felt a sort of pressure in my chest. I looked down and saw the lightsaber had impaled me all the way through.

Huh. Interesting to know.

I got to my hooves and turned the lightsaber off, flinching at the feeling of the blade receding. Not gonna lie: it was a unique feeling. Sort of like... I dunno, an ancient weapon made of energy being taken out of your chest. I grabbed the lightsaber out of the air with my wing and pressed it against my side for safekeeping.

The alicorns were all starting to get to their hooves as I made it to the pedestal, and that's when I saw it: two halves of the One Ring were on the ground below what was left of the pedestal. Unless it could fix itself, and I doubted it, I think we succeeded.

"Ugh, that wasn't pleasant," TD said, rubbing his forehead as he walked up to me. "I'm going to have a splitting headache soon." He glared at me. "You didn't have to hit that hard, you know."

I rolled my eyes and picked up the two pieces of the Ring. "Yeah, the three of you being under the influence of a dark artifact while you were trying to get a lightsaber away from me definitely didn't call for drastic measures. Not at all."

"Point taken," TD muttered.

"I admit that I did not expect the Ring to attempt to fight back," Celestia said. "It truly was an artifact of great evil."

"Yeah." I stared at the two halves of the Ring, still smoldering from the lightsaber. "Well, I guess all that matters is that it's destroyed and I am definitely, totally, one hundred percent not going to make anything like that ever again."

"Sounds like a plan to me," TD said. "But, uh..." He motioned to the lightsaber. "What are you going to do with that?"

I glared at him and hugged it closer.

"Mine."

Taunting

There are certain days where we forego the usual hustle and bustle of our job and just have a day to catch up and sort of compare notes, as it were. It's a great time to catch up with my wife and daughters, which is always great. It's been a year since I've been back to Equestria, so Nymeria's actually saying a few rudimentary words. Mama, Da, dog, Mya, An Lu, and a few other things like that. Maia isn't quite there yet, but she is crawling like a maniac. At least she isn't trying to fly like Nymeria. I can already tell which of my kids is going to be the daredevil.

Fun.

Well, a big part of that is we don't allow any outside business unless it's an emergency. The castle where it's held is locked down from the public, leaving us to our own devices. A lot of ponies think we're discussing top-secret government secrets and playing dice for the fate of the world, or whatever.

I wish. That sounds so much better than what we actually do. It's mostly dry, boring meetings. Sure, it's with my family, but that can only help with paperwork about corn tariffs so much. We did make sure to leave Kristen out of it. One, I don't know what she would do if she got extremely bored, and two, she probably doesn't care much about it anyway. Since becoming the chaos lord her attention span as become... uh... shorter, I guess you could say. Not that she can't focus on something if she really sets her mind to it, but if she gets bored, horrible things can happen.

But so far, we're halfway through the day and nothing bad has happened.

"Alright, so we're agreed on the latest budget, then," Celestia said, closing a book as thick as my barrel. "Any last comments before we completely shelve this?"

"No, nothing from me," I replied. "Obviously I still play the lottery every now and again, so if I get that big winning ticket, I'll let you know."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Most of that money is taxed to the government anyway, Antares."

I shrugged at her. "I know, but hey, it'd be cool."

"In any case, I suppose that a break is in order," Celestia chimed in. "I do not know about you, but I am starving, and I'm sure the fillies would like to see their parents."

"Definitely!" Cadance agreed before giving a rueful chuckle. "Of course, you get to actually hug your fillies. I'm still waiting on mine." Slowly, and with the aid of some magic, she slid out of her chair and got to her hooves. Yes, Cadance had gotten preggers in the last six months. Given that she was a beta alicorn, we weren't sure if the process would be sped up like it was for Celestia and Luna, but given how far she'd come since becoming pregnant, it looked like the middle of the road. She wouldn't be pregnant for eleven months, but not for six either.

"Well, at least you declined Kristen's offer to do your ultrasounds." My eyes narrowed. "I know her. She'd use her chaos magic to show that the foal has a clown nose, or something like that."

Cadance scoffed in amusement and began waddling out of the room. "Yeah, but I think she's excited. She's getting a new..." Cadance frowned and tilted her head. "Second cousin? She's my adopted aunt's husband's sister. New foal. She's excited about the new foal."

"Well, we all are," I replied. "A new foal is always a wonderful thing. It'll just be a huge adjustment."

"I know that from seeing the four of you," Cadance admitted.

"Seeing it and living it are two different things," Luna pointed out. "I saw that with Antares, Tia and Nymeria, and I found out how different it was when I actually had Maia."

Cadance bobbed her head. "True."

As the four of us continued walking to my dining room, we ran into Kristen who was walking down the hall, no doubt up to something or other. She had Bob floating next to her in a large ball of water. She smiled and waved at us.

"'Sup, guys? How are your boring meetings going?"

I shrugged. "Boring. Sometimes interesting. You know how it goes running a nation and all that."

Kristen raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. "Um... not really. I just see you guys doing it. I'm more focused on my powers." She perked up. "Speaking of, I think I finally figured out how to make my lightsaber not destroy things so that we can all have lightsaber fights!" Her lightsaber appeared out of nowhere, and she turned it on to give it a few practice swings. "Here, let me show you..."

"As much fun as that sounds, maybe the middle of the hallway isn't the best place to do that," I said, taking the lightsaber in my magic before she could really get going. I didn't trust that she'd figured it out. Not after the last few times. She glared at me as I amused myself for a moment by swinging it around a bit before giving it back to her. "In any case, we're going to lunch if you want to join us."

Kristen shrugged and deactivated the lightsaber before sending it back to her room. "Yeah, sure. I was just headed there myself. You have one of the magical fire extinguishers in there anyway. Thankfully I haven't had to use it that often in the dining room, right?"

I rolled my eyes at her as we continued walking. "Yeah, yeah. I'm glad I put it in there. Your efforts at grilled cheese--"

"I know, I know, almost tore apart the known universe," Kristen said with a wave of her hoof. "I'm new to this, okay? A year isn't all that long to develop these kinds of powers."

"At least you're not making any more rings," Luna muttered.

Kristen shrugged with her wings. "Not like that, no. And hey, Twilight and I have had a bit of a laugh about it since. Pinkie and I have really had a laugh about it."

"In any case, let's not have any more Lovecraftian grilled cheeses, shall we?" I said.

"One time," Kristen grumbled.

"Twice," the rest of us said at the same time.

Kristen frowned and tilted her head. "What was the second time?"

I was about to answer when we were cut off by a loud "hello" coming from outside.

* * * *

My retinue and I stopped just outside of the main entrance to Scorpion Castle. To my unlimited irritation, the main doors were closed with two guards standing on either side of the door. As I approached, one of them held their hoof up.

"Halt. Prince Antares is not seeing anypony today."

"Oh, he'll see me," I replied, puffing my chest out and giving them my most winning smile. They'd give in. Both guards were mares, after all. "I'm Duke Banks."

They just gave me a blank look.

My smile slowly faded. "Er... head of the largest banks in Equestria?" More blank looks. "M-my son is making plans to court Princess Kristen?" The mouths of one of the guards twitched into what might have been a smile, but it went away so quickly I began considering that I'd imagined it. I growled and facehooved. "Just tell Prince Antares that I'm here! He'll see me. I have business with him regarding some of my Baltimare branches."

"I'm sorry, sir, but unless there is an emergency, the castle is off-limits today," the guard on the right said.

"Oh, but there is an emergency!" I said with a vigorous nod.

"Is an ancient abomination attacking one of your branches?" the guard on the left replied.

"W-well no, but--"

"Then I'm afraid that you will just have to see him tomorrow," said the one on the right. She had the audacity to flick her hoof at me! "Go away."

"I... puh... you..." My face started going red as my brain tried untangling all of the threats and assurances of the termination of her employment. The nerve of this common soldier! I don't care that the insignia on her armor said that she was a war veteran. She can't do that to me! I took a few deep breaths to center myself, then narrowed my eyes. "Now you listen to me. I will see Prince Antares today! I have incredibly important things to discuss, so if you could get out of my way--"

The one on the right shook her head. "No."

"I'm losing my patience," I growled. "Get me your supervisor!"

The one on the left sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, Karen."

"It's Duke--"

She ignored me, instead pressing on her communication gem. "Hey, so we got Duke Monkey Banks out here. He wants to come in to see Prince Antares. What should I do?" She paused. "Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. You sure we should do that? Prince Antares said... yeah, I guess this does fall under that. Okay, I'll tell him."

"It's 'Money' Banks," I growled. "But what did he say?"

"Lieutenant Rapids told me to tell you, and I quote..." To my eternal shock, the guard got on her hind legs, wiggled her forehooves next to her head, made a ridiculous face, and blew a raspberry at me. It was by the grace of Paradise itself that I didn't have a heart attack right there. I could hardly believe my eyes. Nopony had ever treated me in such a way! Prince Antares would have her thrown in prison for this, of that I was certain. The guard got back down on all fours and resumed her stoic guard expression. "So there."

"I... I..." My eye twitched. "You... you are insolent... When I talk to Prince Antares, he will see you punished to the full extent of his powers!"

"Shall I repeat Lieutenant Rapids's response to you?" she asked.

"Oh, you're worthless!" I roared. "I'm getting into this castle one way or another!"

"Try the front door first. I'm bored," the one on the right said.

"Enough of you!" I screeched. "You'll be sorry! You'll both be sorry!"

With that accurate threat, I stomped past the front door and began circling the castle, looking for any way in. "Hello!" I called out. "Hello! Somepony let me in! Hello!"

* * * *

"That sounds like Duke Banks," I said with a frown. "What's he doing out there?"

Kristen shuddered. "Yeah, his son hit on me at the Gala. I felt like I needed a shower afterward."

I'm glad that her mail doesn't get sent to her directly. She'd flip out if she knew how many letters, poems, boxes of chocolate and flowers he sent her. I didn't tell her for both of their sakes. She'd freak out, and he'd get Audrey II sent back to him.

"I don't think he's just going to go away," Luna said. "What should we do?"

To my horror, Kristen grinned and cracked her neck. "I'll handle this." With a wave of her hoof, she turned herself into a neon orange unicorn with a bright pink mane.

"Uh, Kristen, I don't--"

* * * *

"Hello! Is somepony there?!"

Finally a pony poked her head out of one of the windows. She... er... needed some mane dye. Her coloration must have been a cruel joke by Discord, or something like that.

"'ello? Hoo eez eet?"

I blinked in confusion. A strange accent. Prench, but... far more exaggerated. No matter. I wanted a pony to talk to who wasn't one of those horrific guards.

"This is Duke Money Banks! I am here to speak to Prince Antares about some bank policies that he's started to enact. I need to discuss how they're affecting my Baltimare branches, as well as suggest improvements!"

The pony shrugged. "We'll Ah'll ask heem, but Ah don't sink hee'll be very keen. Uh, hee's already figured it out, you see?"

I blinked. "Wh-what?"

"She said he's already figured it out," my squire said, sounding just as confused as me.

Impossible. "Are... are you sure he's figured it all out?"

The pony nodded vigorously. "Oh yes, it was very smart-uh!"

* * * *

"I told them you've already figured it out," Kristen said as she popped her head back in. I was facehooving, while Celestia, Luna and Cadance had an expression on their faces that were a cross between confusion and just about to burst out laughing. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a little funny, but I was going to pay for this later.

"Why do you do this to me?" I grumbled. Kristen stuck her tongue out at me.

* * * *

I blinked in confusion. "Well, uh... c-can I come in and discuss it with Prince Antares? Maybe there's something he didn't consider or... an error."

"Of course not!" the pony said. "You're a noble-type!"

My eye twitched. "Well, what are you, then?!"

"Ah'm French! Why do you think zat Ah have zis outrrrrrraaageous accent, you silly pony?"

* * * *

Celestia, Luna and Cadance had just about lost it by this point. I wasn't quite there.

* * * *

Huh? I blinked in confusion.

"French? What even is a French?"

The pony tilted her head thoughtfully. "You know, even where Ah come from, ve're not totally sure."

* * * *

Aaaannnnd that's where I lost it, not just because of the slight level of truth to it, but because it was a Canadian saying it.

* * * *

This was going nowhere, and I was getting mad. My retinue had actually taken a few steps back.

"Now you listen to me," I growled. "You are going to get me Prince Antares, and you are going to get him for me right now! I have important matters to attend to, and they don't involve moronic servants! If you do not get Prince Antares for me, I shall have you fired!"

The pony just grinned. "You don't frighten me, daffy Canterlot Pig-dog! Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person! Ah blow mah nose at you so-called 'Monkey Banks!' You and your stuffed-up, cow-faced, spawn!" I had never had anypony blow a raspberry at me. This insane mare made two.

"What a strange pony," one of my squires muttered.

"I... I..." She was going to pay. "I'll have you thrown in jail forever!" I roared.

"Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! Ah ffffart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!" She paused as if in thought. "And your spawn's so empty-headed zat he needs to put rocks in his skull to keep from floating away."

"Get me somebody else!" I cried. "Go away and let me talk to your supervisor!"

The pony shrugged. "Okay, Karen."

* * * *

My sides haven't been in so much pain in a long time. It wasn't that I was laughing so hard. No, it's because I couldn't laugh out loud or he'd know we were there.

"Oh, I am so going to pay for this later," I giggled. "I think I can see the smoke coming from his head from up here."

"And now for the finale," Kristen said, turning back into a pegasus, only this time with a gray coat and gray hair. She had her mane in a perfectly tight bun, and managed to look like she'd aged herself several decades.

"This can only end well," Cadance said with a huge grin. "Give him hell for us. Remember that we're living vicariously through you at this moment."

"Yes, Princess," Kristen said in a voice that reminded me of Ms. Harshwhinny.

* * * *

The next pony that showed up looked far more serious. Maybe now I could actually get somewhere.

"Hello?" she said, looking down her muzzle at me. "What is the issue? Why are you causing such an ignoble, unseemly ruckus? You, a noble, are acting like a foal who has not been granted the candy bar he has deluded himself into believing he is owed!"

My face flushed and my ears flattened. "I... w-well ma'am, I didn't mean--"

"The noise of your tantrum would break Discord out of his statue, if he still existed! I have seen more maturity from the royal foals!" Her eyes narrowed. "You are of the noble house Banks. Your forefathers built your house up from nothing more than two bits to rub together! How they would weep to see their descendant stomping around the castle grounds like an elephant on LSD, shouting to nopony like a drunkard and a gambler."

I gulped and took a step back. "W-well, madame. It wasn't my fault. The mare who came and got you disre--"

"Ah, so you are a scoundrel without honor as well!" The mare scoffed and shook her head. "You are foisting the responsibility of your own actions on others. I expect such behavior from foals who have their hooves in the cookie jar, not somepony who fancies himself as a paragon of class and grace. The mystery of your son's boorish behavior has been made clear for all of Baltimare, nay Equestria to hear!"

I did make an effort to not have my tail between my legs, but... she reminded me far too much of mumsie.

"You have need to speak to Antares," the mare continued. "His court convenes at eight o' clock tomorrow. Should you find it in you to conduct yourself like a civilized pony, you may attend and put forth your likely inconsequential complaint before him. If you have any decency in you, you shall find it in yourself to apologize to him for your boorish outbursts."

"Yes, ma'am," I said in a quiet voice. Yes, perhaps I had been too hasty in my attempts to get into Prince Antares's castle. I... should have thought things through a little more. Yes, tomorrow at eight, then. With no other possible response, I turned around and walked away.

* * * *

"Wow," I said. "That was... something."

Kristen shrugged and turned herself back to normal. "It worked, didn't it? Plus he's also probably not going to stomp in and complain about everything tomorrow, so there's that."

I bobbed my head. "Yeah, maybe. One can never fully count the nobles out of their behavior."

"True," Celestia said. "But, um..." She paused for a moment. How much would you charge to come to Canterlot and deal with our nobles?"

Kristen tilted her head in thought. "Dunno. Depends on the noble and depends on what you want me to do."

"We did just do the budget, sister," Luna pointed out. "We can see where we can fit her in."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh for goodness sakes. I'm hungry. I'm going to go get some lunch."

"Sounds good," Kristen replied.

With that, she took a bite out of one of my tapestries and trotted off toward the dining room.

Author's Note

I don't write the Snarcasti-guard enough.

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Lots of Books in the Library

The door to the library opened up, and I walked out of the kitchen to see a yellow mare with a red mane standing in the library, looking at a nearby book. I smiled at her when she looked up to notice me.

"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle," I said. "You looking for something?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a book," the mare said in an odd voice that sounded Trottingham, but... not really? Doesn't matter. She might have some interesting stories.

"Definitely," I said. "Was there any particular book you were looking for, or do you need some suggestions?"

"Yes, I was looking for 'Thirty Days in the Badlands with the Duchess of Baltimare' by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.?" The mare smiled and tilted her head. "Where can I find that?"

"Uh..." I blinked. What in Equestria was she talking about? "I, uh, don't think I've ever heard of that book, ma'am. That's... I don't know it."

Which, now that I think about it, bothered the Tartarus out of me.

"Not to worry, not to worry," the mare said, waving her hoof. "How about A Hundred and One Ways to Start a Fight'?"

I... uh... I forced a weak smile on my face. "B-by?"

"A griffin lady whose name eludes me at the moment," she replied.

Okay, I'd have to look into that later. I lit my horn and grabbed some writing materials to remind me to look into the titles at a later date. There was always new room in the library for new books.

"Sorry we don't have that," I said. "I can certainly see if there's another library around here that has one so I can get it ordered for you."

"Never mind, that's alright." She turned to the bookcases. "How about 'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide?'"

I perked up. Finally one I could help her with. "Yes! We do have that. You know, Princess Celestia was thinking about putting out a new edition that had stuff about my friends and I in it. I don't know if she needs to do that, but Rarity was saying--"

"The one with 'harmony' spelled h-a-r-m-e-n-y."

I screeched to a halt just as I was about to take the book in question off of the shelf. "I... uh..." I turned to her again. "S-sorry, but, and I don't mean to be rude here, harmony is spelled h-a-r-m-o-n-y."

"Yes, but not with this book," she replied. "In this book it's spelled with an 'e'."

"No, no, that's not right." I lit my horn and took the book off of the shelf, turning it to her to show her the spine. "See? Harmony with an 'o'."

The mare raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but that's not the right book."

I scoffed. "'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide! What other book is there with this title?!"

"That one is the only one with that title," the mare admitted. "But the other one is about the elements that Duchess Weeble the Fourth used to prove that her husband was murdered by Vitcome Charbindar the Nineteenth."

"R-right." I put the back and turned to the fiction section. "We might have it right here. Do you know who it's by?"

"I don't know why it would be there," the mare said, walking next to me. "It really happened. Ten-forty-seven A.H. in the tiny hamlet of Quebec in Trottingham."

"I've never heard of that." I wrote the title down. If nothing else, it sounded like an interesting read about a part of Equestrian history that I'd never delved in to. It's not like I was totally brushed up on the history of Trottingham. Could be good for a late-night read before bed.

"Hm." The mare tilted her head. "Funny. You got a lot of books here."

"Yeah, but not every book ever printed," I replied giving the mare a weak chuckle. "We're sure to be missing some. Or a lot of them. Most of them. We're just a humble library in a tree. I could probably find those books in the Canterlot library."

"Maybe, but I'm looking for something to read now."

"Well then, I have some excellent suggestions that--"

"How about 'Sleepovers 101'?"

Okay, there's no way that the title was different. I cleared my throat and turned to the shelf housing the book. "Y-yeah. I've read that myself. Well, I mean, I've read every book in here, but when my friends Rarity and Applejack came over--"

She interrupted me, of course. I should have known that it wasn't going to be simple.

"Sleepovers naturally having a space between the two words so you know it's not the book about staying over at somepony else's house, but rather about good tips for waking up. Sleep overs."

I just... well, that might be good for Spike. "No, we don't have that one."

"No? Okay, how about 'The Brief Reign of Prince Antares and his Horseshoes?"

"No, I don't think so."

"'The Physics of the Wavy Alicorn Manes'?"

Ooh, that one sounded promising. I jotted the title down. Still...

"No, I think we're missing that one."

"'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix'? That one might be in your fiction section."

"I'll have to see if I can order it."

"'Naked Singularity: Event Horizons of Lust'?"

I blushed and suddenly couldn't make eye contact with her. "No, no, definitely not."

The mare shrugged. "Oh well. Sorry to trouble you."

My smile turned genuine for the first time in a few minutes. I'd have to have Spike look at some of the book titles, so I could see if I could order them from Canterlot's library. Either way, I could go back to making lunch. "Yeah, sorry I can't help you. Have a good day."

The mare smiled and nodded. "You too."

Okay, now that that was over, I had a sandwich and some potato chips waiting for me. Maybe I'd dip into my soda stash, too.

Before I could, the mare stopped and perked up. "Oh, wait, how about 'Princess Celestia Gets Mugged?'"

I could feel a smashing headache creeping up. Maybe I'd need a bit of something to mix with the soda. "No, we don't have that one."

"How about 'Doring Da and the Sapphire Statue?'"

"No, we don't have anything that--"

"By A.K. Yearling."

My eyes narrowed. Okay, I'd read everything she'd ever written, and I'd never heard of that. "A.K. Yearling?"

"Yeah, for sure!"

"So... you mean 'Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue'?"

The mare frowned and shook her head. "What? No, 'Doring Da and the Sapphire Statue' by A.K. Yeerling, that's Yeerling with two 'e's the popular Stalliongrad author."

My eye twitched, and a few strands of my mane started sticking out. "No, we don't have 'Doring Da and the Sapphire Statue' by A.K. Yeerling, the famous author from Stalliongrad. To save time, we don't have 'Deering Deer and the Sipphire Statue' by O.K. Yourling, Drubbing Dee and the Sopapilla Statue' by E.K. Rearing with a silent 'x', nor do we have--" I glanced over to where the normal book was and saw that the slot was empty. "Uh... 'Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue by A.K. Yearling. I guess that one got checked out." I couldn't keep the scowl off my face. "But we don't have the other ones either!"

The mare tilted her head. "Are you sure? You have a lot of books here."

A few more strands pinged out. "Quite sure. Maybe the used book section of Barnyard Bargains would have what you're looking for."

The mare shook her head. "I tried, they sent me here."

A few more strands. "Did they? How very kind of them. Really nice."

"Well, that's okay. Do you have 'The Times of Nockermicker Blongting the Duke of Iselin and His Amazing Pet Ferret Borgie?"

"Definitely not." I shrugged. "That's weird, we have a lot of books here." I cleared my throat and started nudging the mare's shoulder. "Well, I'm sorry that I couldn't help you out more."

"That's fine. Do you have--"

"Nope! Nope Nope! Now, it's really--"

"I--"

"I'm closing for lunch, then doing inventory for the rest of the week, so if you want to come back a long, long time from now, I--"

"Wait, wait, I saw it, though!"

I stopped trying to throw her like a discus through my door and turned to see where she was pointing. "Saw what?"

"'The Comprehensive Guide to Equestrian Birds."

"Uh..." I cleared my throat and walked over to the book in question, taking it off of the shelf with my magic. "E-q-u-e-s-t-r-i-a-n?"

"Yes."

"B-i-r-d-s?"

"Yes."

Okay, this wouldn't be a total waste. She'd get her book and read it, giving me a bit of time to look into the other books she was asking for. I forced a smile on my face and turned to her. "Yes. Yes. Yes! We have that one!" I shook it in my magic. "Right here! So, let me just--"

"The censored version."

My heart sank, and my teeth clenched. I took a deep breath to steady myself, then turned to look at her, despite not wanting to. "The censored version?"

The mare nodded. "The one without the gannet."

"The... the one without the gannet?! They've all got the gannet! It's an Equestrian bird! It's in all the books!"

The mare sat down, frowned and crossed her forelegs. "Well, I don't like them. They wet their nests."

A few more hairs pinged out. "They... of course... so..." I opened the book right to the gannet. "Okay, I'll make the page invisible!" I lit my horn, and the page vanished. "It'll all come back when you drop the book off. Any other ones?"

"The Ponyville Pelican."

"Ponyville Pelican... Ponyville Pelican..." I found the page, and out it went. "Any others?"

"Stalliongrad Blue Parrot."

"Stalliongrad... Stalliongrad, aha!" No more page for her. "There you go!" I shot the book at her, hitting her right in the chest as she stood up. "There's your book!"

The mare frowned at me and pushed the book away. "I can't check that out, it's missing pages. I--"

"I don't have anything!" I tore several books off of the shelves and waved them at her. "These are all fake! Real learning happens in real life! They're filler!"

The mare blinked in confusion. "A-all of them?"

"Yes, all of them!" I grabbed her in my magic and threw the door open. "No books here! Have a good day!"

"But if I could just--"

I threw her straight out of the library. She landed right on the dirt road, but that didn't seem to bother her too much. She stood up and smiled at me. "Sorry, I was just looking for a book. I didn't mean to make things so chaotic for you."

"Whatever," I growled. "Just..."

Wait...

Hang on...

My teeth started grinding together, and my ears began twitching. My mane was frazzled enough that it would take half an hour to get it back to normal. All of the frustration that had been building up exploded as the mare skipped away.

"KRISTEN! ANN! POWELL!!!!!!"

Uproarious laughter was my only response.

* * * *

Ah, I couldn't have planned that better. She'll eventually cool down. Twilight's friends would probably all get a laugh out of it. Heck, TD and the other alicorns probably would, too.

In fact, I was just passing Sugarcube Corner, so it would be a good time to tell Pinkie all about it and maybe get a pastry of some kind. My chaos magic could make whatever I wanted to eat, but it couldn't compare to Pinkie's work.

I walked in and saw Pinkie behind the register. The only other pony in the store was a pegasus mare reading a copy of 'The Times of Nockermicker Blongting the Duke of Iselin and His Amazing Pet Ferret Borgie'. Pinkie's smile widened when I approached the register.

"Hey, Pinkie," I said. "How are things?"

"Pretty good," she replied. "Just had our lunch rush, so it's nice to have some down time."

"Wow, it looks like you were busy." I looked down at the display case and saw that there wasn't anything in it. I know that Sugarcube Corner could be popular, but this might be a record. "You going to have anything until dinner?"

"Oh, sure," Pinkie said, waving her hoof toward the kitchen. "We've got a bunch of stuff cooling."

My ears perked up. Her stuff was always the best. "Great! Do you have any strudel, then?"

Pinkie grimaced and shook her head. "Sorry, we're out of the cherries. Should get a shipment in tomorrow."

I shrugged. "Eh, that's fine. Any lemon cupcakes?"

"We sold out of those completely, and I have a big order to fill for tomorrow, so we're not prioritizing those right now."

"Okay, how about some hot chocolate?"

"Machine's broken."

"A latte?"

"That machine was what broke the hot chocolate one."

I frowned and tilted my head.

"Carrot cake?"

"Golden Harvest didn't have a great harvest this week, and the fancy-schmansy restaurants got first pick."

"Red velvet cake?"

"Nope."

"App--" My eyes narrowed. "Oh, you sneaky little--"

I flew over the counter, just as Pinkie shot out from behind the corner and straight out of Sugarcube Corner. I screeched to a halt, then reversed course and flew after her, a huge grin on my face despite Pinkie's little victory.

"Get back here! I'm going to turn your bed into a giant squid!"

Laughter was the only response I got.

Author's Note

Sorry this has taken so long, and I know it's kind of a fluff chapter, but I had fun writing it. Hopefully a successful publish gets the ball rolling, and I'll write more. I have a HUGE non-Fimfic-Writing project that I'm working on, and I think I'm almost done.

Bonus points if you get... all of the references. Only a few since it's obvious, but... a few.

Wishes

The week before Hearth's Warming Eve found me sitting in my office working on the monumental, ever present mountain of paperwork that was a huge part of my job. Legal-ese was essentially a second language, one that I had to learn really quickly in the job. The dense paragraphs and tiny font never really got easier, though. Celestia and Luna backed me up on this. In fact, rumors said that part of the reason they wanted to ascend a new alicorn was that now the paperwork was split into thirds, not half. I don't even want to imagine what it was like for Celestia before Luna came back.

The paperwork did have one benefit, however: it distracted me from a stack of cards that was currently sitting on the left edge of my desk. I hadn't had the heart to read them yet. I always put them off as long as I could, but couldn't forever.

A knock on my door took me out of my thoughts, and I pushed the tax document that I'd been slogging through aside.

"Yes?"

"It's me," Tulip said from the other side of the door. "The chefs said you haven't eaten yet, so they sent me up to see what you'd like for dinner, and also that it's not healthy to skip meals."

I rolled my eyes and glanced at the clock. It was only... eleven at night. I'd had breakfast and lunch. Though my lunch was eleven hours ago now. I'm an alicorn, though! I can last months without food! Still, eating would probably be a good idea. I stood up and opened my office door. Tulip was on the other side holding a clipboard in her magic. Ugh. Every time I saw her I tossed the idea of promoting her back to her old job. I know it hurt her to be demoted to a low-level secretary after her little outburst when I told her that her husband had been killed, but she got off lucky.

Anyway... food.

"Uh." I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, uh bacon cheeseburger. The usual toppings. And a grilled cheese with tomato soup."

Tulip jotted that down on her clipboard and bowed to me before heading off. I grunted and shook my head before turning and walking back into my office. Back to the grind. Yes I understand that you want more tax breaks for your flower business, but you only have one employee and... ugh,

I kept working on the mountain, which didn't seem to be getting any smaller, even though my "finished" pile did. I glanced down at a certain point to see an empty plate, so I must have eaten the burger that Tulip had brought me for dinner. at some point.

My night was interrupted by Kristen walking past my office, humming some random tune. She was wearing a belt with her lightsaber attached. Sheesh. Ever since she'd perfected that, she took to carrying it everywhere. Not that I can blame her, but at least she was more successful with that than the Ring.

Though that was still a bit of a sore subject for her. She tended to get quiet whenever it was brought up, which was why I tended to not do it.

She spotted me sitting at my desk and stopped, frowning at me and tilting her head.

"What are you still doing up? It's two in the morning."

I grunted and motioned to the piles of paperwork. "I'm kind of on a roll. Might pull an all-nighter with this. The more I get done now the less I have to do later, right?"

"And you're sure that you'll be in the right mental state to do all of this and not making bad decisions because you're so tired?"

I motioned to myself. "Alicorn here. Immortal. Sleep is for the weak or when you've been hit by magical weapons pulsing with dark energy."

"As the chaos god I can't throw stones there," she admitted. "Though this has to get boring."

I didn't fail to notice that the music of Sorcerer's Apprentice had started playing in the background, nor that several pieces of paperwork were starting to bounce off of my desk. I grimaced and grabbed them in my magic. "Well, I'm ruling a nation here. Yes, it can be a bit tedious sometimes, but at the end of the day, it's good for the country."

"You know what else is good for the country? If they have a ruler that takes a little time for himself," Kristen pointed out. "Or at the very least is energized." She waved her hoof, and three Monster energy drinks appeared on my desk. A nice thought, but they had a teeny, tiny fraction of the power of Luna's coffee, which is about the only thing that can get us alicorns energized in a hurry. Still, I picked one of the cans up in my magic and looked at the ingredients. Heh, I could probably start mass producing this stuff under a different name and get rich.

"Yeah, just a little bit more."

Kristen frowned and raised her hoof. "I could burn it."

I glared at her and pushed her back with my magic. "I cannot stress how many problems that can cause."

"Fine, fine," she said with a roll of her eyes. "You know, I remember you in school and how you'd always put the homework off until the last minute. Things have changed, huh?"

I chuckled and nodded. "I stopped doing that about two weeks into my reign. That's a mistake you don't make more than once."

"I'll bet." She looked onto my desk and saw the stack of cards sitting there. She frowned and reached for them. "Hey, what are these?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," I said quickly, grabbing them in my magic and stuffing them into a drawer. State secrets. Alicorn stuff. Very serious. Top secret. Should be in my weapons room."

Kristen gave me a flat look and rolled her eyes. "Yeah? They looked like they were made out of construction paper, and I think I saw crayon on one of them. They looked like the cards you get from the foals in Equestria on your birthday."

"I mean, they kind of are," I admitted. "They..." I sighed and took the stack out of my desk. Might as well have somepony else to talk to about it. "So you know Hearth's Warming is next week, right?"

"Yeah. So are those cards wishing you merry Hearth's Warming, or something like that?"

I shook my head. "No, I get a lot of those too, we all do, but these are... wishes."

Kristen frowned and stared at the stack. "Wishes? What do you mean wishes?"

I grimaced and put the stack down on the desk. "A few years back, the rumor somehow got started that I, with my phenomenal cosmic alicorn powers, had the ability to grant good fillies and colts around Equestria wishes for Hearth's Warming. By the time I found out about it, it had gained a lot of traction, and I'd started receiving a lot of cards like that. What you see before you is just a small sampling size. At first it was 'he'll grant any wish for anypony' but then it scaled down a bit to 'he only grants a certain number of wishes.'

"Well, that probably takes a bit of a load off for you, at least in terms of how much you have to do, Santa TD." Kristen said, taking the stack of cards in her hoof. "I think it's cute. I've been in Equestria for three years now, how have I never heard about this?"

"Well you do spend most of your time here, and my staff knows not to do it," I replied.

"Well come on, it can't be that bad." She took the top card off of the pile and opened it up. "Like this one. 'Dear Princess Antares, my wish is that you could get my school some new playground equipment, since our swings are starting to fall apart and I like swinging.'" She chuckled and looked up at me. "How can you not like this? That kind of thing isn't hard, especially if they don't expect you to grant every single one. I mean, look at this next one. It's just a filly asking for a doll."

I grumbled and poked at one of the Monster cans. Kristen gave me an incredulous look as she looked at the next card.

"Seriously, this is adorable," she said, opening up the next card. "I wish that I could..." She began reading the card, and her amusement faded away. She cleared her throat and rubbed the back of her neck. "Uh... 'dear Prince Antares. My Mommy and Daddy said that they're not gonna be married anymore, and that Daddy is going to move to Las Pegasus to live with a mare he met there. My wish is that they stay married, and that they know that I'm sorry for whatever I did that made them so upset that they don't want to be married anymore.'" Kristen cleared her throat and put that one down on my desk. "Oh."

"Yeah, not so cute when I get those, and I get a lot of stuff like that. How about this one?" I lit my horn and pulled a card from the middle of the stack. "'Dear Prince Antares, my dog Snuffles is really old, so my wish is that he could be young again so that Mommy doesn't have to take her to the vet all of the time. She said that soon Snuffles won't come back from the vet, but that Snuffles loves me very much and I'll always remember her.'"

"That's..."

"Or here. How about this one?" I pulled another card out. "'Dear Prince Antares. My friend Pearl Shine got in a really bad accident, and her leg was hurt so bad that they took her leg. I know she has the fake one, but it's not the same for her. My wish is that she can have her real leg back so that we can run and play like we used to."

Kristen flinched. "I don't..."

"Or fucking how about this one?!" I grabbed another card. "'Dear Prince Antares, I'm in the hospital and it's very scary. I've been sick for a long time, and the doctors said that I probably won't get better. I hurt all of the time, and I want to go home to play with my friends. I wish that I could get all better and that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't look so sad all of the time.'"

Kristen took a deep, quiet breath and put the cards back on the table, staring down at the floor. I grimaced and pushed them away.

"I looked into that one. She's six. Stomach cancer. There's nothing anyone can do. She wasn't supposed to last this long." I flopped down into my chair and began rubbing my temple. "I threw millions of bits at every single cancer research group that I could find. I got the best doctors from all over Equestria to take a look in case one of them found something that the others missed that would save her live, but... nothing."

"Yeah," Kristen muttered, poking at the floor. "That must be hard."

"Hard doesn't begin to describe it," I said bitterly. "I'm a lot of things to a lot of ponies. I get stuff like this because foal services and education is my purview. I tried spreading it around that no, as powerful as I am, I can't make a terminally foal better again, but it's not exactly like I can make an official proclamation that I can't do what they're asking. It's tough because a lot of foals ask for stuff that I can do. New playground equipment? I can contract ponies who will have it done in hours. New doll? The finest toymaker in Equestria will have one shipped out in time for Hearth's Warming.

"Sometimes foals will ask for stuff that needs attention. Last year a colt wrote me asking if I could get him a better schoolhouse, because his was falling apart. Well, I'm not going to let foals go to school in a potentially unsafe building, right? So I fix it. And they're all so happy because they were good fillies and colts, and so Prince Antares granted their wish. Then other foals wonder why their wishes weren't granted." I motioned to the card I'd just read. "I guarantee you that right at the end she's going to wonder why I didn't grant her wish. How was she not good enough? What did she do that was so bad? It doesn't fucking matter that I turned over every single stone in Equestria and looked into every pony that had done any kind of work on stomach cancer. None of it mattered.

"And I have several bags fit to burst full of all kinds of wishes, and I don't know how to make it stop. To the foals, I'm a powerful ruler who can grant wishes. To others, they rest content in their beds because they know that the god of war will crush any threat to Equestria before it ever hits them. Heck, battle, compared to this, is easy. I'm in control. There's a clear path to victory, and I'm powerful enough to get there. Untold thousands have fallen to my hammer and magic, and the pain of all of the death you caused never fully goes away, but it's mostly made better when you know that with every destroyed enemy, Equestria gets a little safer. This, though..."

I motioned to the cards and shook my head. "I don't know how to stop it."

Kristen stared at the cards not saying a word. After a few moments, she glanced up at me. "Sorry. I didn't mean to... in the beginning there..."

"It's fine, but you can see why I don't like talking about it." I lit my horn and put the cards back into my desk drawer. "I have to get back to it. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah... later," she muttered.

* * * *

I walked through the halls of Vanhoover General Hospital, disguised as a unicorn with a brown coat and neat blonde hair. My fake credentials were good enough to get me into the ICU, so I didn't have to worry about getting kicked out. Once I got to the right floor, it didn't take me long to find the right room. I cleared my throat and knocked on the door. It wasn't a moment before a tired stallion opened it.

"Yes?"

"Uh..." I cleared my throat again. "I'm Doctor Fields. I'm here to look at Shining Dawn?"

The stallion grunted and shook his head. "Prince Antares send you? We've been seeing a lot of doctors since she sent off that stupid wish. I appreciate how hard he's trying more than he'll ever know, but..." He sighed and motioned for me to come in. "I don't know what you can do, but if there's any chance..."

"I can't promise anything, but I think I can help a little bit," I said.

I walked into the room and instantly flinched back. Shining Dawn laid on the hospital bed, curled up into a little ball and hooked up to several different I.V.s and tubes. I didn't need a medical degree to know that it wouldn't be long. Whether that was days or hours, I didn't know. A mare who I presumed was her mother sat next to the bed, holding a foal's storybook that I assumed she'd been reading to Shining Dawn before I came in. She gave me a tired smile as I walked up to the bed.

Ugh. Maybe this was a mistake.

"Hello. Did Prince Antares send you?" the mare asked, closing the book and setting it next to her.

"Uh, yeah," I said. "I've been briefed on the situation and I don't know if--"

"That's okay," the mare said with a weak smile. "It's just good to know that everything that can be done is being done. We don't blame Prince Antares for what is happening." The mare's eyes watered, and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof. "But... it's nice to know that even small ponies like us are important to him."

"More than you can imagine," I said. I got closer to Shining Dawn and pulled up a chair so I could sit in front of her. Her eyes were barely cracked open, and each weak breath was slow and labored. I smiled and put my hoof on the bed.

"Hello, Shining Dawn. I'm Doctor Fields. I'm here to try to help." She just let out a pained noise and tilted her head in a nod. Okay, I can do this. I'm the chaos god. I'm a god. I can fix this. I put my hoof on her head and started scanning with my magic. I felt... black. It was only a vibration, but somehow it still felt like black. As one would expect, the source of it was her stomach, though it had spread to pretty much everywhere. I pushed my chaos magic through my horn to make it look like I was a normal unicorn casting spells. I wrapped the magic around the center and poured every scrap of energy I cold into it. If it started to fade, I could work from there and take out the rest of it.

But nothing was happening.

Why wouldn't anything happen?! I'm the chaos god! Doesn't reality not really apply to me?! Isn't that the whole point?! If I felt even just a twinge of the cancer fading, I could work with that and fix her. I'd remove it all entirely. It might come back, but they'd catch it early enough that it wouldn't be as much of a problem.

It wasn't working.

I don't know how long I tried, but eventually, I felt a hoof on my shoulder. I turned to see Shining's father looking down at me with an appreciative smile on his face.

"It's okay."

Ugh. No it's not!

But I had to face facts. I put one last burst of magic into Shining Dawn. The tension she'd been exhibiting slowly started to fade as the pain left her. I took a deep breath and turned to her father.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help. I couldn't take the cancer away. However, I did manage to take the pain away. For how long I don't know, but... she's not suffering right now."

The mare threw her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you," she said between sniffles. "Thank you for at least that.

* * * *

The sound of happy playing foals filled the air as a group of schoolchildren ran around and played on their brand new playground equipment. Their parents stood around and chattered excitedly with each other, most of them holding plates of food. When it was announced that they'd be getting an upgraded playground, the adults decided to throw a barbecue to celebrate. I stood next to TD who was smiling at the sight of happy ponies. I just grimaced and stared at nothing in particular.

"What's up?" he said, putting his hoof on my back. "They're thrilled with it."

"Shining Dawn died last night," I muttered, rubbing my leg.

"I know. And I know you did all you could as well. We all did." I looked up at him and his smile never faltered. Guess he had gotten really good at that alicorn hiding your emotions thing.

A pair of fillies were on the new swing set next to each other, grinning from ear to ear. "You see that! We were good this year! I told you that Prince Antares grants Hearth's Warming wishes!"

Author's Note

Good grief, the last chapter I put out about six months ago was based on a Monty Python sketch. :facehoof: BronyWriter gonna BronyWriter, I guess.

Hey, I wrote a story about Comet, TD's daughter in Life of a Non-Brony. It's really good. You should check it out.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/515715/the-eventual-daughter-of-a-non-brony

Final Notes

Lots of stories here. The first is Nymeria is kidnapped by a few griffins and minotaurs, but she is found by Celestia and Antares. Celestia corners the group in a room, shields Nymeria and the nanny who was kidnapped with her, and slaughters everyone, leaving only the leader alive but paralyzed, making him able to tell what happened and let everyone know that it's, to put it lightly, a bad idea to kidnap Celestia's daughter.

The years pass, and Nymeria joins the guard while Maia's passion is plants. She'd rather spend her time in the gardens than anywhere else. Nymeria gets in a border skirmish with some diamond dogs and dragons, and during the battle, she kills a dragon and falls off after injuring her wing. The crash snaps her horn in half, and she's almost killed by a diamond dog, but she uses the broken part of her horn to stab it in the neck. They win the battle, and she's given the name "Nymeria Hornhoof" by her fellow soldiers.

Maia is walking around Canterlot one day when she hears about a lost foal. She finds him in a park and picks him up to find his parents, but before she can do anything, she hears a twang, hiss, and finally exploding pain in her chest. She flies back and sees an arrow sticking out of her. She shakily stands up, but is hit from the other side by another arrow. Then another, then another. A group of ponies come out of the bushes, each holding crossbows. As she lays there bleeding out, one of them loads his crossbow, points it at her head and fires.

All of Equestria mourns the assassination. The alicorns work day in and day out to find the ones responsible. One of Luna's most devoted guards, one miss Comet Screech, who was never adopted and becomes a stoic soldier for Luna, blames herself, and is comforted by Antares.

The alicorns find out who assassinated Maia. It was several nobles who lost children in the war. They invite them all to a dinner at the palace under the guise of a memorial for Maia. The alicorns cage them and take them to Tartarus, where they tell the spirits there to "get creative."

The years go by, until we reach the end. The sun goes out, and, as Death told Antares in the first story, Celestia dies, and Luna soon follows. Nymeria has been dead for countless thousands of years. Kristen fades away, leaving Antares alone on a dead rock of a planet. He just wanders aimlessly for millions of years before he gathers the last tiny scrap of magic into himself and flies into space. After countless more years, he makes it to the star Antares and flies into it. He's finally reunited with his family in paradise.

Author's Note

I've retired, https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1060252/its-time but I still feel like I should tell you how things end.

Into the Unknown

It wasn't more than about ten minutes before the medics came over. The two campus security people stayed with me and tried to keep me calm the entire time. It wasn't as though I was actually going to do anything, though. I just stared at the ground and limited myself to grunting and maybe nodding or shaking my head whenever they asked me a question. I barely paid attention to a word they said. I tried to think about my situation and what I could do from there, but came up with absolutely nothing. I was stuck with no magic and no real way to get home. Unless Discord came back to get me, I...

I lost another home.

This time, in a gesture of cruelty that I'm certain was deliberate on Discord's part, I'd been returned to the home I'd lost and essentially given up on. The people around me kept calling me TD, but that wasn't who I was anymore. TD didn't have millions of subjects. TD didn't have a wife and children. TD didn't lead a nation to war. TD didn't kill thousands.

Now I found myself back on Earth. Did that mean I'd never see Equestria again? Would I live the rest of my days here, looking back on the past five years of being in another land as just a bizarre phase? If I lived a full human lifespan, the amount of time ruling a nation wouldn't even match the years I spent in high school. Leading a war, creating new races, raising the very sun... all just minor memories in the grand scheme of things.

I barely glanced at the medic who came up to me. He gave me a friendly smile and knelt down in front of me. "Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?" I managed a small shrug as he took my pulse. "Yeah, I'll bet. You having any nausea? Pain? Dizziness?"

"No, I feel fine," I muttered.

"Good. So..." He chuckled weakly and glanced over at his partner, who was talking with the officers. "Where have you been?"

"Not here."

He chuckled again at that. "Yeah, so I've heard. Did they tell you about the frenzy your disappearance had?" I nodded. "Yeah, that was kind of crazy for a while, especially once the security footage of the crosswalk cameras got leaked. A car comes close, there's a flash of light and boom. You're gone."

"Yeah, somebody mentioned that."

"Lots of theories going around about that," the medic mused. "Up to and including alien abduction, of course."

Eh, close enough, actually.

"But you don't remember what happened?" I shook my head, and the medic gave me a look that told me that he didn't quite believe that. "Not a single memory of the past roughly five years? One second you're crossing the street, and the next you're lying on the bench here five years later."

"Guess that's what I'm telling you," I replied. What? Was I going to tell him that I spent the last few years in a magical talking pony land where I ruled over them as an immortal sort of god figure? Yeah right. He'd think I was completely crazy, or that I dreamed it all.

Did I?

No, no, that was all real. It had to be. It's been five years, after all. Right. It's all Discord.

I gotta get back. I need to get back to protect my wife and children. If Discord does anything to Nymeria or my unborn child... well, he'll find out what it's like to die painfully. I can promise that.

"Okay, Mr. Powell, here's what's going to happen..."

Oh, right, there's someone talking to me.

"We're going to take you to the hospital to make sure you're okay. I'm a bit worried about your memory loss, so we'll probably have you evaluated by our on-staff psychologist. Sound like a plan to you?"

I shrugged, my gaze not leaving the ground. "Whatever."

"Alright."

I glanced up to see him beckon his partner over. She nodded and they went over to the ambulance to get their stretcher thing. They wheeled it over to me and directed me to lie down on it. I did so without complaint. Hopefully I could get out of the hospital soon. As far as I was aware, there wasn't anything wrong with me. Other than the whole, you know, gone for five years thing.

The medics lifted me into the ambulance and shut the doors behind us after the female medic exchanged a few words with campus security. I didn't pay attention to anything they said. What would be the point?

Home. I had to go home. My family was waiting for me. They were in danger.

"So, any changes in how you're feeling?" the male medic asked. I shook my head.

"Just a bit shocked, is all."

"Yeah, I'll bet. I can't imagine what you're going through." He snorted and pulled out a needle and some vials. "A word of warning: if I had to guess, the press is going to be all over this. It's not like we're still obsessing over your disappearance, of course, but we all wondered what the heck happened to you."

"Yeah," the female medic chimed in. "I read the Wikipedia entry about it. It's not too long since we had pretty much nothing to go on. Same with the Cracked entry."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Cracked entry?"

"Yeah, something like Five More People Who Just Disappeared. You were number one."

I actually managed to crack a tiny smile at that. "That's kinda neat."

"I'm sure they'd interview you if you wanted to. They do a lot of personal experience articles now."

My smile faded just as fast. "Yeah, I'm not sure about that. I don't really want to talk to the press. I'd rather keep this as private as possible."

"Makes sense to me, but I'm not sure how well that's going to work," the male medic said. "I'm sure you know how... invasive the media can be."

"I can handle them."

"Really? You've had a lot of experience dealing with the media?"

Yeah. Tons. I think Equestrian media might almost be as motivated as Earth media.

"Not really, I suppose," I reply instead.

I flinch back when the medic pokes me with the needle. The last things to actually pierce my skin were ancient weapons made of dark magic. From what I heard from the doctors, they had to take blood samples from my actual wound because the needles wouldn't go into my foreleg. I don't know what it is, though, but it's the small, sharp pains that hurt the most. Stubbing your hoof or getting poked by needles? Somehow they are less tolerable on the pain scale than having your shoulder sliced open in battle.

The medic ends up taking five vials of my blood. He ties the vials together, then takes a piece of medical tape and tapes the vials to my leg. I raise an eyebrow at that, which elicits a grin from the medic.

"Best place to keep 'em. They're going with you, after all."

"I guess that makes sense." I shifted to get more comfortable on the stretcher. "We close?"

"Yep, just another minute or so." The male medic jotted down a few things before responding again. "So we're just going to be doing some basic checkups on you at the hospital. We'll try to contact your family, too."

My family.

I should have been happier about that. Don't get me wrong: it's not like I didn't want to see them at all. For years I'd wanted nothing else. I didn't want them to see me like this, though. The pain it would bring up for all of us... I didn't want to even try to think about it. Especially if I managed to find a way back, they'd lose me again. I'd lose them. I don't know how either of us could handle that. They didn't belong in my new world.

Of course, I didn't think I belonged there either until after my ascension.

Before I could think about that further, the ambulance stopped. I took a deep breath as the medics opened up the door and wheeled me out. I tried my best to just lay back and let it all happen. I mean, what was the alternative? Although if they tried to stick me in some mental institution until I "remembered where I was" then they had another thing coming.

They wheeled me through the doors of the hospital, and I was immediately hit with the noise of doctors going about their business and the overly sterile smell of hospitals. A smell I really didn't care for, to be honest.

I took a few deep breaths as a pressure began building up in my chest. The smell was what did it. I finally became aware that I was in the hospital.

Three freaking months.

I don't want to anymore! Never again!

"A lot of them died?"

"I'm afraid so."

"How many?"

"Three hundred and fifty-five."

Hospital means bad. Hospital means fighting and death. The pressure in my chest became pain, and I grabbed the spot where I'd been shot by the Nightmare Weapon. My breathing became more rapid and my instincts screamed at me to run. Just hop off the gurney and run. Hitch a ride back to my hometown or something. I can't be here.

The medics noticed my breathing becoming more rapid and they stopped whatever conversation they were in the middle of with some nurse they were giving me over to.

"Hey, TD, it's going to be okay," said the male medic. "Just calm down. Slow your breathing. Just relax. You're not in any danger here. You're going to be fine."

My breathing increased almost to the point of hyperventilation. I can't do this again! I can't be in a hospital anymore!

Three hundred and fifty-five.

Three months of nothing but pain.

I just want to go home. I can't do this anymore. I just want to curl up with my wife and daughter, away from all of this hurt. I whimpered and began roughly massaging my chest. It hurt. I felt a twinge of pain in my shoulder too, but nothing like the chest wound. I could almost feel the arrow stuck in there while Celestia's admittance that three hundred and fifty-five ponies died fighting for me bounced around in my skull. I could vaguely hear the nurses telling me to calm down, but I couldn't focus on that. A small part of my brain tried to. I certainly wasn't doing myself any favors by freaking out like this. I disappear for five years, then come back for no reason they can figure out and freak out in the hospital. I hear the nurses talking to calm me down. I can't do that. Want me to calm down? Leave me alone. Get me out of here. Let me go home!

I can't go home.

Three hundred and fifty-five.

No, no, I can't do this. Calm down. I can't do this in front of everyone. I begin taking a few deep breaths and rub my temples. The nurses all around me are still talking about calming down. I take a few more breaths until I've completely calmed down. I smile sheepishly at them.

"Uh... sorry about that. I, uh, I don't really like hospitals."

One of the nurses smiles comfortingly at me. "Oh, don't worry about it. I don't like being on your side of it either. Nobody does, really."

"Yeah, but have you ever seen anybody freak out like that?"

She waved her hand at me. "Oh, yeah, dozens of times. Alright, we're going to get you to a room and get you all checked out, okay?"

I groaned and rested my head back. "Yeah, I guess."

"Good. We'll try to make this as easy as possible. We're really good at this. We'll get you settled in a room."

The nurses wheeled me over to an empty room and finally let me get off of the stretcher. I hopped off of it and sat on the side of the bed, moving around to loosen up a little bit. The ambulance nurses took their stretcher back and wished me good luck. I nodded at them and thanked them before one of the nearby nurses handed me a hospital gown. I chuckled at that.

"Did you make them with backs while I was gone?"

The nurse smirked at me. "Actually yes. Lots better." She motioned to the gown. "You want me to leave while you change?"

"I'd appreciate that."

"Alright I'll come back in a second."

She turned around and walked out the door, pulling the privacy curtain closed. I sighed and looked down the hospital gown. I'd never really been to a hospital before getting an arrow in my chest. I think I had bad pneumonia when I was eight, or something like that. Other than that, I'd never really been in a place like this. With great reluctance, I stripped down and put on the hospital gown and socks. With nothing else to do, I laid back on the bed and draped my arm over my eyes. After a few seconds the nurse returned. I put my arm back down and moved on the bed to get a little more comfortable.

"Alrighty, Mr. Powell, I'm afraid it's time for the I.V."

I stuck my tongue out. "Not the biggest fan of those."

I mean, I'd not had one that I could remember, but I disliked needles on principle. Last time I was in the hospital was when I was an alicorn, so getting a needle in my skin wasn't really an option. Still, I'd been stuck with far worse things than needles, so I extended my right arm so she could get the stupid needle in. I flinched back when I felt the pinch. Hopefully that would be the only time they stuck me.

"Alright, all done, Mr. Powell."

I smirked at her. "You can just call me TD..." I glanced at her name tag. "Annie."

"Alright, TD. We're just going to run a few simple tests, so if you could sit up..."

I sat up in bed allowing her to listen to my heart and lungs, reflexes, blood pressure and pulse.

"... alright, and we have one twenty over eighty for your blood pressure, so that's good. Your pulse is forty-five beats per minute. You play sports or something?"

I shook my head. "Nope, I run around a lot, I guess." I guess being something close to a god who is capable of flying a hundred miles was no problem. Flights from Baltimare to Canterlot tend to keep you pretty fit.

"So you remember running around a lot for the past five years or were you a health nut before all of that?" Annie asked.

"Walked everywhere. Not much need for a car in Greeley. My sister has a truck so whenever we needed to leave this place we'd just go down to our parents' house that way."

"You have a sister? Is she your only sibling or do you have more?"

"Just the one." I leaned back in my bed. "I remember... the last day before I lost five years of my life. I remember that I saw her on her way to class. I was on my way to work. Worked in the dining hall." I gave Annie a humorless smile. "Pretty crappy job."

"I worked at McDonald's once, so I know all about crappy food service jobs." Annie finished writing down what she needed in my chart before standing up. "Alright, you stay here and relax. That one is the TV remote, and the other one is the call button. Press that if you need anything at all. Do you want a warm blanket?" I nodded. "Good. I'll be right back with that."

Annie moved the curtain back, leaving me alone. I looked down at the TV remote. I considered flipping it onto the news. It might be a good idea to get updated on current events before somebody started asking me about stuff I had no idea about. Given my "five year memory gap" I had no doubt that they'd bring some psychologist in here to see if I was some total nutjob. Either that or they'd get Dr. House in here to see if I had some random brain problem that no one had ever seen before. I needed to find some way out of here. Then back to Equestria. I had to get back to Equestria. Nothing else mattered.

If... no, when I got back to Equestria, I'd kill Discord personally. I don't care if the Elements had put him back in stone, I'd take a hammer and chisel to his statue before throwing the pieces in a volcano. Or Tartarus. Let all of the worst monsters in the world deal with him.

Thankfully for my potential boredom, somebody else not dressed as a nurse walked into my room. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was coming next.

"So, you're the guy who's coming to see if I'm loony."

The psychologist gave me an amused scoff and shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I'm here to make sure that you're doing okay." He extended his hand and I shook it. "I'm Brian. Nice to meet you. You're something of a celebrity around here. You're all that anybody's talking about." He sat down on a nearby chair and took out a notepad. Oh this was going to be amazing. "So, I have a few simple questions for you. Just to get a baseline of how you're doing."

"And if I can't answer them you're throwing me in a mental institution, right?"

"I doubt it. People blacking out for five years is probably something more than a simple conversation would deal with. Like I said: I'm just getting a baseline here. Is that alright?"

I shrugged. "Well, I guess I'm not leaving this place until you get this info you want."

Oh this is so not going to go well.

"Don't worry about this. It's going to be fairly painless. So..." He clicks his pen and puts it close to the paper. "Alright. What is today's date?"

Somehow I doubt that the Earth calendar matches with the Equestrian one. I lean back in the bed again, not able to make eye contact with the shrink. "I don't know."

"Alright, do you even know the day of the week?" I shake my head. "Alright, don't worry about that. It's fine. So do you know who the president is?"

"Nope."

"State governor?"

"Nope."

"Alright, something easier then: when's your birthday?"

"November thirteenth."

"Do you know what town and state you're in?"

"Greeley, Colorado. Perfect place to wake up after five years of nothing."

Brian chuckles and nods at that. "Yeah, this place isn't the best place in the world."

"I take it it hasn't gotten better in the last five years?"

"Define better."

"Not Greeley anymore?"

"Fair enough." Brian clears his throat before going back to his notepad. "So, do you know what the name of the latest Star Wars movie?"

"Uh... trick question, there haven't been any more Star Wars movies since I've been gone."

"Gone?" Brian raised his eyebrow at me. "Interesting choice of words."

"Well I obviously wasn't on that bench on the campus for five years."

Brian shrugged. "Fair enough."

Not sure if he totally bought that.

"There have actually been two new Star Wars since you've been missing. They were pretty decent."

"Huh. I guess I'll have to watch those."

"New one is still in theaters, but maybe I can get you a copy of episode seven to watch while you're here if you want. At any rate, are you sure you don't remember a single thing about the past five years?"

"Positive."

"Well... hmm..." Brian tapped his jaw with his pen thoughtfully. "When was the last day you remember?"

"The day I supposedly disappeared."

"Alright. Who was the president then?"

"Obama."

"State senator?"

"Uh..." I frowned and tilted my head. "It was Hickenlooper, wasn't it? Or something like that?"

"Very good. Still is, by the way." Brian quickly jotted that information down. Before I could say anything else, he clicked his pen back and put it and the notepad on the table. "So, here's the thing. I'm sure you can understand our perspective on why this whole thing is weird. We have crosswalk footage of you almost being hit by a car, but just before the car impacts, there's a flash of light and you're gone. Driver just about slammed into the stoplight when he swerved to miss you, but he clearly didn't hit anything. If you hadn't disappeared, he would have flattened you, swerving or no."

"What happened to him, by the way?"

Brian shrugged. "Not totally sure. The most we know for sure is that he ran a red light. Not exactly going to throw him in jail for ten years for that. Can't prove that he had anything to do with your disappearance." Brian tilted his head. "So, it wasn't aliens, was it?"

I scoffed. "Oh yeah, totally was. Remember that Ridley Scott film that James Cameron made that sequel to? Totally them. Probably best that you do x-rays on my chest. We might only have a few hours before things get really messy."

"Right. I didn't think so. Problem is that we still don't have any idea of where you went. Heck, I believed the alien theory myself for a little while. Flash of light, you're gone, you wake up five years later on a campus bench not even knowing that that there are two new Star Wars films. Frankly I can see why people thought aliens. Made as much sense as any of the other theories. The police investigation returned with a conclusion of 'damn if we know'."

"I can see why that might be the case," I admitted. "I don't really know either."

Brian gives me a flat look for a second. Yeah, I can tell he doesn't buy it for a second. If I was only gone for a few days that would be one thing. Black out because of some brain problem, maybe. That makes sense. Five years, though? Unless I was in a coma somewhere, I probably knew what had happened.

"What I am pretty sure of is that I didn't just run away because of the stress of life, or something like that."

"It was an idea tossed around for a little bit, but the flashing light just before the car wreck put that one away," Brian admitted. "Same with the kidnapping theory. No way anyone around you could pull that off. We're still not sure where the light came from." Brian smirked and leaned back in his seat. "It's a weird scenario when alien abduction, spontaneous combustion and random teleportation don't sound so silly after all. When you do get out of here, expect to get non-stop messages from conspiracy nuts asking you to prove the existence of life beyond Earth."

Heh. About that...

"I see," I replied instead. "When am I going to get out of here?"

"Once we make sure that you're okay. I don't know anything about any test results yet. That's not my department. I'm only here to make sure you're mentally okay."

"And I'm sure the fact that I didn't even know that there are two new Star Wars films doesn't help my case in the slightest."

"It doesn't help matters much, yeah," Brian said. "But other than that, I'm not totally sure what to make of this. Are you depressed?" I shook my head. "Suicidal or homicidal thoughts?"

Not suicidal, but I sure do have some specific thoughts about where I'm going to put Discord's head once I'm finished taking him apart. That probably wouldn't sound the best, so I settled for shaking my head again instead.

"What are you feeling?"

"Confused as all else. That and I just want to get out of here."

Brian chuckled at that one. "Yes, I can understand why. I never liked being a patient in a hospital myself. On that note, though, is there anyone we can contact for you? Parents? Siblings, maybe?"

My breath died in my throat as I thought about that. Parents. My sister. What the heck were they going to think about all of this? Gone for five years without a trace and then I appear just as suddenly. What were they thinking about that? Did they blame themselves for it somehow? Had they moved on and accepted that I was dead? What were they going to think or do when I eventually found a way back to Equestria? Would I bring them with me? Would I leave just as suddenly, making them think that they had done something, or would it just re-open old wounds?

"I... uh..." I sighed and rubbed my temples, being careful to not aggravate the IV. "Yeah, my parents, I guess."

"Is there a good number to call them at?"

I rattled off the phone numbers for both of my parents and my sister. If they'd changed their numbers, unlikely since they'd had those numbers since they got their first cellphones, then there were other ways to get in contact with them.

Brian jotted down the numbers I rattled off and closed his notebook. "Alright, I think that settles it. I’ll try to get in contact with your parents. I'll let you know if I do."

"Yeah, that'd be great."

Brian stood up and made his way to the door. However, just before he slipped past the privacy curtain, he stopped. He tapped his jaw for a moment, almost as if he were thinking something over. Before I could ask what was up, he sighed and turned back to me.

"So... I wasn't sure if I wanted to mention this, and it's nothing bad, I suppose, but..." He grimaced and leaned against the wall. "Before I came here, I was a psychologist for the army. I talked to a lot of people who were over in Iraq and Afghanistan. People who had seen combat. Watched friends die or a truck in front of them blow up. Stuff like that. Changes a man."

"I'll bet. What's your point?"

"A lot of them had this..." He grimaced in thought and looked to the ground. "I dunno, I don't want to say aura, but just a way they carried themselves. Posture, body language, things like that. I could tell who'd seen some serious shit over there."

"Again, what's your point?"

"Maybe I'm wrong, but when I look at you I see that kind of stuff. Dunno why, but I see a guy who has been in combat. Not a small skirmish, either. I haven't heard anything about you being in the military before your disappearance, so whatever happened to you happened after you disappeared. Something big."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "This doesn't seem very professional of you. Are you implying something?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just an observation. I'm just seeing a few parallels is all." He paused and began idly tapping his pen. "So you're sure you don't know where you were?"

"Positive."

"Hmm." He shook his head and straightened up. "That's fine. I'm sure we'll get it all sorted out eventually. Although I'd like to say this..." He smirked at me. "You have an amazing poker face. One of the best I've seen. It's not so good that I can't tell you have one, though."

Yeah, well, I'd only been practicing for about four years or so. Celestia had been practicing for thousands.

"So you think I know exactly where I've been for the past five years and aren't telling you because, what, I think you'll toss me in some loony bin?"

"Oh, don't worry, we'd never do that. Wouldn't help anybody," he insisted. "And frankly we'd believe any story you give us because we can't figure anything else out. You say you were abducted by aliens and put in a zoo and probed for five years? Sure, I'll go for that. A lot of other people are."

"Well I wasn't in the zoo, that's for sure."

"If you don't remember a thing about the past five years then how do you know you weren't in some zoo a trillion miles away?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but realized that I didn't actually have an answer for that. In lieu of saying anything that would rouse his suspicions even more, I just shut my mouth. Should have done that from the start. Brian stared at me for a few moments, almost as if analyzing me, before shrugging and lightly chuckling.

"Eh, don't listen to me. Like I said: just a few observations. You have a good day, Mr. Powell."

I didn't say anything else as he left the room. I started to get the feeling that I needed to give them something. Something that made a lick of sense. I know Brian said that they'd buy alien abduction, but I didn't trust that. My goal was to get out of this place first and foremost. Being tossed into a mental institution did not fit within that goal. That would be several steps backwards. I groaned and banged my head against my pillow a little bit. Things had gotten a lot more complicated. I wanted them to give me a clean bill of health and just leave me alone. But then what? I didn't exactly have my magic with me, and even Celestia couldn't find Earth more than that one time. Plus even if I did find Equestria again, I'd need somepony on the other side to pull me through.

No, I can't think like that. I'd think of something to get back. I'd just have to do it without any magic or way to find Equestria. Easy.

After a few more minutes, Annie came back in. "Hello, Mr. Powell. We have a few more tests to run, if that's okay."

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess. I take it I can't just ask to leave."

"And go where?" Annie asked.

"Fair point. I guess I'll just wait here until somebody comes to get me, then."

"Which is hopefully soon. We just need to make sure you're not really sick. You know, contagious or anything like that. So you can stand up now." I did so, then she beckoned me to follow her. "We're not going too far. Just to another room a few doors down."

I followed her in silence until we reached the room. She opened the door for me and I walked past her into a small room with nothing in it. I frowned and turned around.

"What's this?"

"Just some place to check on people physically. It's not painful or anything, I just need to check your skin."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "My skin?"

"Yeah, just to make sure you don't have any big scars or sores or lesions or anything like that. No big deal. Although I am going to need you to take all of your clothes off. You can keep your underwear on."

I grimaced at that. I got the feeling that Brian had brought his suspicions up to a nurse or something. If I did this then they'd undoubtedly see the scars from the Nightmare Weapons. If I refused then that said I was hiding something, which would be a whole other set of problems. I chose the option that possibly allowed me to hide my past a little longer. If I refused and they asked why I couldn't respond with an "I don't know."

"Something wrong, TD? You look a bit uncomfortable."

Oh, right, she's still here.

"No, no, I... Yeah my clothes."

Figuring I couldn't hide it any longer, I slipped the hospital gown off. Judging by how fast Annie's eyes went wide, I could gather that the scars were a bit more visible than I'd like.

"I see then. One on your shoulder that looks like it was sliced open by a weapon of some kind. The one on your chest is a little trickier, but it looks like an entry wound."

"You can tell all of that just by looking at it?"

Annie nodded. "I've worked at a hospital for fifteen years. If a person can hurt themselves, I've seen them rushed in here for it. So yes, I know what pretty much every wound under the moon looks like." She paused for a moment to look at them some more. "Any others I should know about?"

I turned in a circle to show her the rest of my body. "Nope."

"That's good, I suppose." She stared at my injuries for a few more moments before talking again. "So I doubt you had those before you disappeared."

"Would you believe me if I told you yes?"

"If you had them before then where did you get them? Unless you don't remember the time before you disappeared enough that you don't remember where you obtained some pretty serious looking injuries. There's also the fact that the one on your shoulder looks fresher than the other one. I'd say that you got it sometime in the past, say, six or seven months or so? It doesn't look that old. So you got these after you vanished."

"You're about to ask me where I was again, aren't you?" I grumbled. "And can I put my clothes back on?"

Annie nodded. "Yeah, go ahead, we're done with this part. As for me asking you where you were again, that's not really my place. Yeah, I'm curious, we all are, but my job first and foremost is to make sure that you're healthy. I'll speculate on my own time if I really want to."

I rolled my eyes. "So you don't want me to tell you."

"If you did, I'd listen. Especially if you had any medically relevant questions. Like where those came from."

"Don't remember." I finished putting the hospital gown back on. "But you guys don't really believe that anymore, do you?"

"Like I said: not my place." She opened the door back up and stepped aside to let me through. "We can go back to your room now."

"Cool," I grumbled.

We didn't say anything on the way back to the room. When we did reach it, I slid back into bed without really acknowledging Annie. She offered to get me another warm blanket, which I agreed to, but other than that, I just curled up with my back to the door. I vaguely considered flipping the TV on again. I needed to figure out what had been going on in my absence. Two new Star Wars movies? That was probably just the tiniest tip of the iceberg for things that had happened since I'd gone to Equestria. Although to be fair, would it even matter all that much? If I was going back to Equestria again anyway, why bother with knowing who the past five Super Bowl winners were? Or anything like that. It was going to become irrelevant to me sooner or later.

I hoped.

I just need to get back. Get back and kill Discord. Hold my daughter again. Kiss my wife. Meet my new child. I couldn't do any of that on Earth. As much as it would pain me to say it, I didn't belong on Earth anymore. It almost felt like the time when I'd been brought to Equestria. The whole world felt alien. Right now Earth felt the same way. Sure there were a lot of recognizable things, but there were certainly changes that made Earth unrecognizable to me now.

I just want to go home. I almost missed Day Court.

Another half hour passed before someone came back into my room. This time it was a doctor, if his lab coat was any indication. One I hadn't seen yet. Looked to be in his mid-fifties or so. He smiled warmly at me and sat down on the chair beside my bed.

"Mr. Powell, I'm Doctor Chase." We quickly shook hands. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know, just trying to adjust."

"I'll bet. On that note..." Doctor Chase opened up my folder and flipped through it for a few seconds. "I've been looking over your file and I saw that some of the other staff here have some concerns. Nothing life-threatening, of course, but they brought up a few things that interest me."

"Like the scars, right?"

"Yeah, that's one of them for sure. And you say you don't know how your shoulder got sliced open or how you got the other one." I shook my head. "Right. Can I see them?"

I inwardly sighed, but decided that I might as well cooperate. Make this all go much quicker. I pulled my gown down enough for Dr. Chase to see the scars. Doctor Chase leaned in and examined them for a few seconds. Yeah, go ahead, Doctor. Poke and prod them if you want.

"Alrighty, then. Interesting." Doctor Chase leaned back and jotted something down in the file. "So I know not many doctors in Greeley, Colorado of all places would recognize it, but this isn't the first hospital I've worked for. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the one on your chest there looks like some kind of arrow wound."

"Isn't that just interesting?" I deadpanned.

"Yeah. One of the towns I worked in had an archery range. Every now and again we'd get someone in who didn't listen to the rules and neither did his buddy. I've seen one a few times. Although the scarring is a bit off. Something close to an arrow, but not quite. You wouldn't happen to know what that's from, would you?" He waved his hand before I even opened my mouth. "On second thought, don't answer that. We both know how you're going to answer."

"You're perceptive."

"Comes with the job." He took a deep breath and set the file down on the counter next to him. "Right, so here's my concern: I have a psychologist who looks at you and is reminded of soldiers who have been in battle. Then a nurse looks you over and we find what appears to be an arrow wound and, if I've guessed right, some sort of slashing weapon. They appear recent enough to have happened during the time you were missing. Unless you've been at some kind of renaissance fair with abysmal safety standards, I'm left wondering just what happened. If I'm hedging my bets right, you know exactly where you were and what you were doing. But you won't tell us. You mention not wanting to be locked away for saying something ridiculous."

"Hmm..." I crossed my arms. "How very perplexing for you."

Doctor Chase managed a small smile at that. "Yes, it is, isn't it? In all seriousness, though, if you know where you were, I need you to tell me. I can't help you fully until you give me a little something. We're not going to throw you in some nuthouse if you give a weird answer. Your disappearance was weird. Nobody on Earth has even the slightest clue as to what happened. You were about to cross the street, a car near you ran a red, flash of light, and then that's it. You're gone. And that's all of the concrete evidence that we have. That's literally all of the information that anybody seems to agree on, and that's only because we have the footage. Yeah, you get the people who say it's all computer generated, but even that went away pretty quickly. Not fully, of course. Everyone had their own little pet theory. Then you come back. Just as suddenly as you disappeared."

"An interesting story," I mused. "I'll have to watch the movie adaptation."

"Depending on what info you give or how the next few years go, there could very well be a movie about this. I mean why not? Especially when you take the final perplexing factor into account."

"And what might that be?"

"I've seen pictures of you before you disappeared. Ones taken pretty close to the time you were gone. I looked at those and looking at you now..." Doctor Chase stared at me for a few seconds before continuing. "TD, you, ah, don't seemed to have aged that much, if at all. You disappeared when you were twenty. So you'd be, what, twenty five now?"

"Something like that."

"You should have physically aged between now and then, but it doesn't look like you have. I'm a doctor. I've learned to see the subtle nuances in the ways people age over different time periods. You still look like you're twenty. If I put a picture of you now side-by-side with a picture of you the day before you disappeared, I'd wager that they'd look almost exactly alike."

"That does sound confusing," I admitted. "Wonder what you'll do with that information."

Doctor Chase groaned in frustration. "TD, we both know you know what happened to you. I'm not going to go blabbing it to everybody. We're not going to send you to a mental institution, no matter what you say."

I shot Doctor Chase my best glare. "Okay, here's a start: I'm physically fine except for two wounds of unknown origin. I'm not homicidal or suicidal. You have no reason to keep me here. I'm betting half the reason you came in here is because every test you've run so far has come back with nothing."

"Eh... not quite."

"Really?" I frowned and tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"Some of your blood work came back a little wonky. There's just something about it that's a little different. All of the normal stuff is there at the normal levels, but there's something else in there, too. We're not sure if it's harmful or benign, or even if it's beneficial."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "So you found something weird in my blood. Big deal. If it becomes a problem I promise to come back so you can poke and prod me some more. Unless you can prove it's an issue, I'd like to get out of here."

"We'll talk about that in just a second, for right--"

"No, we're talking about it now," I growled. "I don't want to be here anymore. I'm not crazy and I'm not dying. Even if I was dying, you don't have a legal right to keep me here."

"I do if I believe the patient is incapable of making his own decisions," Doctor Chase countered. "You woke up on a school bench after five years, of which you claim to have no memory of whatsoever, as if you were just sleeping and then woke up five years later. Then there's the added fact that when you did come in here you had some sort of panic attack, during which you were grabbing at your chest wound, if the testimonies of the staff are any indication. Trust us, Mister Powell. We just want to help you."

"By calling me a liar and keeping me here against my will," I grumbled. "So helpful. Are you sure it's not because you want to solve a mystery that everybody's been wondering about for the last five years? You'll write some book or call a conference or do some talk because of all of the theories, you're the one who figured it out."

Doctor Chase frowned at that. "That's not what I'm trying to do here. I'm just here to make sure that you're okay."

"I'm fine except for the fact that I'm in a hospital where people keep asking me questions that I couldn't possibly know the answer to. At this point I'm done answering any more questions. Just let me get out of here."

"And go where?" Doctor Chase questioned. "It's best that you don't leave for the moment, if for no other reason than that your family is on its way. They'll probably be here any moment."

My eyes widened and I sat up in the bed. "Wait, my family? All of them?"

"Your parents and your sister, yes. I'd be a poor doctor if I just let you go while they looked for you here. Why don't you just relax and maybe watch some TV or something until they get here. Then we'll decide what we want our next step to be."

"It'll be me getting out of here."

Doctor Chase shrugged. "Could be. We'll talk to your parents when they get here. For now, just sit tight. Everything will work out fine."

"Easy for you to say on your side of things."

"Fair enough, I suppose, but I believe that of your situation, too." Doctor Chase stood up and put my folder underneath his arm. "You know where the call button is. If you need anything at all just let us know. Could I maybe get you something to eat? When's the last time you ate?"

"Not hungry."

Okay, that wasn't true. I was starving, but I just... didn't feel like eating right then.

"Alright, well if you change your mind, just let me know. I could even get you something not from the cafeteria, if you wanted. You seem like you've had a hard day."

"Yeah, I have. Maybe later."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later, then."

I hoped not.

Doctor Chase exited my room, leaving me once again with only my thoughts. Truth be told, him asking me about food made me even hungrier than I realized, but I'd get something with my family later.

My family.

Some small part of my brain almost didn't feel like they were my primary family anymore. I hadn't seen them in so long and I'd gotten another one for myself that... I dunno. I hated the idea that if I had to choose between them and my Equestrian family I couldn't choose them, no matter how much I wanted to. But I almost didn't want to. They were still my family and I loved them, but I had responsibilities now. I had a whole country to rule over, possibly until the end of time.

I just...

Man, the thoughts sounded hollow to me even then.

Before I could think about that much more, I heard my privacy curtain being pulled back. I looked up to see who else was coming to prod me and ask where I was but then... I saw them. I barely had a moment to make eye contact before I was pulled into a crushing hug by my sobbing mother. I blinked in surprise, but once I took a second to get my bearings and realize that no, this wasn't a dream, I hugged my mother back. Looking past her, I saw my father and Kristen. Dad looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to cry or be relieved that I'd come back, and Kristen was holding back tears of her own. I smiled at her and she let out a half laugh/half sob and returned it.

"So... uh, hi everybody."

My mother sniffled and somehow hugged me tighter before whispering to me.

"Where were you?"

Author's Note

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Family

Where was I? How on Earth was I gonna explain that to them? I leaned into my mother's hug and just let her hold me. I felt her tears drip onto my shoulder and grimaced.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell her the truth. Now would be a bad time, of course, but at some point the topic had to come up when they weren't going to take a shrug for an answer. The hospital had to take me at face value, even if they didn't like it. I was never very good at lying to my mother. I'd tell her that I didn't know and she wouldn't buy it for a second. Same with my father. Heck, my sister never really bought any of the lies I'd slung when we were growing up together.

But hey, maybe being an alicorn for a few years would change all of that.

I would be one again. I had to be. Too many ponies depended on me.

After a few more seconds, my mother broke the hug and moved to arm's length, still never letting go of me. I gave her my best smile and she returned it with a half laugh/half sob.

"Where were you?" she repeated.

"I... uh..." My gaze flicked over to Doctor Chase who had just re-entered the room. He tried to make himself invisible by standing in the corner, but we made eye contact. My eyes narrowed ever so slightly, which just triggered the barest of smirks from him.

Don't even think about it.

Me noticing that the doctor entered the room meant that my father noticed him, too. He walked over to him and shook his hand.

"Are you his doctor?" my father asked.

Doctor Chase smiled at him and nodded. "Yes, I'm Doctor Chase. I've been handling your son's case since he came in here a few hours ago. Gotta say, really interesting stuff."

"He doesn't have cancer or any brain injuries, does he?"

Doctor Chase shook his head. "Any tests that we've run have come back negative for anything like that. Physically speaking he's healthy."

My father frowned and crossed his arms. "So there are no real problems? He just disappeared for five years and that's it?"

Doctor Chase glanced back at me and I subtly shook my head. My family was going to talk about this, but I wanted to do it on my terms without his input on anything. Doctor Chase tilted his head in a nod and turned back to my father.

"I'm sorry, but your son has requested that I don't share the information we've gathered. As he is legally an adult, I have to respect his wishes on the matter."

"TD, what's wrong?" my mother asked, pulling me back into a hug. "We just want to make sure that you're okay." She pulled back and cupped my cheek in her hand. "You can tell us. We won't think you're crazy! All we care about is that you're okay."

Dang. Just... how could I have responded to that? Just tell my mother that I didn't want to talk about it? Sure, that's the smarter move, but... the way she looked at me, I couldn't. The fear and helplessness in her eyes no doubt looked a lot like mine when I first woke up on that bench. I took a deep breath, turned back to Doctor Chase and nodded. He nodded back and opened up my file.

"Physically speaking your son is fine. There's the obvious question of just what happened, but he says that he doesn't know. There's no physical or mental trauma that we can find, but he also doesn't know anything about the last five years. Nothing about the latest election, nothing about the date, he doesn't even know about the last Star Wars films."

My family's eyes all widened and they turned to me. I gave them a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah, none of that," I admitted. "No Star Wars, no knowledge of the Oscar winners, I don't even know who won the last Super Bowl."

"The Broncos," Kristen whispered, rubbing her arm the way she does when she's uneasy.

I actually managed a weak smile at that. "Yeah? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

Kristen returned my smile and shook her head. "No. 24-10 against the Panthers. Von Miller was the MVP. Peyton's last game. Went out on top, just like Elway."

I gave an amused little scoff and leaned back on the bed. "I'll be darned."

"I agree. It was a wonderful day for me, too," Doctor Chase said in a tone that let me know that he'd rather move on. "On top of all of the memory loss, there is also the matter of the scars."

"Scars?" Dad asked, frowning.

"Yes, one on his chest and another one on his shoulder. Rather large, noticeable ones, too. I don't suppose he had those before he disappeared?" My mother shook her head. "I didn't think so."

"What are they from?" Kristen asked.

"One appears to be from some sort of slashing weapon, and the other one comes from an arrow, if I had to make a guess."

"An arrow?" my mother cried. "How on Earth were you shot with an arrow?" She gave me a shocked look. "What, were you in a battle or something?"

"If our on-staff psychologist is correct, your son has been in a few battles. Enough that your son reminds him of veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan."

"What are you talking about?" Mom cried. "What on Earth happened to you, TD?"

"I..." I looked down at the bed and rubbed the back of my neck. "Can we... can we just not talk about this now? I really just want to get out of here." I looked back up to Doctor Chase. "So I'm not dying and I'm not a madman. Can I just go home now, then?"

"Well if you--"

"No, I don't want any more BS," I growled. "Straight answer: can I leave now, and if not, why?"

We all stared at Doctor Chase, who uneasily cleared his throat and tried to buy time by looking through my file. After a minute, he sighed and nodded. "Yes, I can't see why we need to keep you here, even if we haven't figured out what happened to you. You're not dying and you're not at risk for any negative actions as far as we're aware of. Very well. I'll begin the checkout process."

"Good." I slid out of bed and took my clothes off of the chair next to me. "Then if you'll excuse us..."

Doctor Chase nodded again and closed my file. "Of course. I'll have a nurse come by in a few minutes to get your I.V. out. Then you can sign your discharge papers."

"Fine."

Doctor Chase left the room after that, and my family turned around to give me a little privacy while changing back into my regular clothes. Heh, it actually felt kind of odd putting clothes back on. After going around with nothing more than a chestplate, horseshoes and a crown for several years, actually being fully covered didn't seem to fit. At any rate, I finished putting my clothes back on and sat back down in bed, waiting for the nurse to take the I.V. out.

And waited. And waited.

My family tried for a little small talk, but none of us really knew what to say. I think we were all emotionally drained from everything that had happened. I mean, what the heck do you say about something like this? I sure as heck didn't want to tell them anything about what had happened to me while we were still in the hospital. Despite their assurances to the contrary, I didn't trust that the doctors here wouldn't lock me up the second they heard where I'd been, or, to them, believed where I'd been. If I was locked up, where the heck would I be then? I didn't think I could make it back under the best circumstances, but if I was locked up for being crazy, then I'd be in really big trouble.

It was a solid hour and a half before the nurse finally arrived with my discharge papers. I extended my arm and she quickly took the I.V. out and put on a bandage before handing me the discharge papers. I quickly signed them and shoved them back to her.

"Is that it? Are we done?"

The nurse nodded. "Yep. All done. You feel better, okay?"

I smirked and hopped off of the bed. "Never felt better in my life."

Right, because any of us believed that.

With nothing else keeping me there, my family and I made our way to the exit of the hospital. I tried not to notice the fact that a lot of people stared at me as I went. Yeah, yeah, let them stare. I wouldn't see any of them again if I had any say in it. Don't get me wrong: none of them were flat-out mean. I just didn't like being some kind of weirdo for them to stare at. Yeah, I'd been gone for five years. Big whoop. It wouldn't affect their lives in the slightest.

We finally made it to the automatic doors of the hospital and stepped out to make our way to the car.

Unfortunately, some people were there waiting for us.

I flinched back when a dozen flashes went off in my face, alongside a barrage of questions. Ah, I guess somebody had spilled the beans to the press that Greeley's most famous missing person's case had just randomly re-appeared on a bench on campus. I suppose I could see how that would make a good story for them.

Well, good thing I had a lot of experience dealing with the press.

I stopped in my tracks and held up my hands to about shoulder level in a "calm yourselves" sort of gesture. Each time a reporter asked me a question, I made eye contact with him or her until they fell silent. It didn't take more than a minute or two until each of the dozen or so reporters were completely silent.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I can see how this is an interesting moment for you. I--" One of the cameramen took a picture, and I stared at him for a moment until he guiltily lowered his camera. "Thank you. Now, I understand that this is exciting, but if I may ask that you wait a little while until I have had some time with my family to readjust. As I'm sure you can imagine, this is a confusing time for me and my family. We want to get our heads on straight before I talk to any sort of media. All I can say is that I'm fine. I'm not injured in any way. I wasn't held in some psycho's basement for five years. All I ask from you now is patience." I nodded to a few of them. "Thank you, and if you'll excuse us..."

With that, I walked through the crowd of reporters, which parted to let me and my family pass. I spared one last glance back at them to make sure we weren't being followed before following my father to the car.

It wasn't the same car as when I'd left. The old one was a blue Honda, while this one was green and didn't look quite as nice. My dad unlocked the car doors and I entered on the right side, with my sister sitting next to me. My dad started the car and we drove away from the hospital. Good riddance.

After a few minutes of driving, my dad cleared his throat and looked back at me with the rear-view mirror.

"Uh, TD? When did you get so good at dealing with the media?"

"Yeah, I think I would have frozen if I was in your position," Kristen agreed. "I remember your public speaking class in high school. You weren't very good." Kristen looked back through the back window to make sure we weren't being followed by any news vans. "So when the heck did you learn to do that?"

I shrugged. "I had a lot of time in the hospital to think about what I was going to say to them, I guess."

Kristen gave me a flat look. "Yeah. Right. The way you handled them kinda struck me as something that comes with practice. You don't just think about it for a few hours and then have them under your complete control."

"Yeah, well, I guess I do." I made unblinking eye contact with Kristen. "And that's all I'll say about it for right now, alright?"

Kristen huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine. But you're going to give us the whole story eventually. I know you know what happened to you."

"TD..." My mom turned and put her hand on my leg. "We won't think you're crazy, no matter what you say. You disappeared in a flash of light. We've seen the footage. If you tell us you were abducted by aliens and spent the last five years on Jupiter then, well, I suppose I'd have to believe you because nobody has any better explanations."

"I wasn't on Jupiter. I wasn't on Mars. I wasn't abducted by aliens." More... inter-dimensional beings that star in an animated kids' show here. "I'm fine. I'll talk about it when I'm ready, okay? It's like I said to the press: I need a little time to get my head on straight."

"I suppose that's fair, just know that we're worried about you." Mom's gaze flicked over to my chest. "At least tell me about the combat thing, please? Where did you get the scars? Were you actually in combat?"

"I..." I sighed and rubbed my temples. Much like the press, they weren't going to drop things unless I threw them a bone. "Yeah, I was in a fight. A few of them, actually. Yeah, I got injured. Nothing that still bothers me, though. I'm fine."

Unless you count the emotional trauma of the Nightmare Weapons themselves. Granted, there weren't too many left. Either way, I never wanted to fight somebody who had one ever again. I was two for two on getting hurt by them.

"What kind of fight?" Kristen asked suspiciously. "A small skirmish or were you a soldier in some kind of war? You reminded the head doc of people who have been in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Again, I really wish I was any good at lying to my family. Even with all of my practice as an alicorn, I doubted I could get one over on them. If I went stone-faced around them, they'd know something was up. They'd know that I was hiding something. As an alicorn, 1. I had the basic trust of my subjects and 2. they all assumed we had our own secrets anyway, so if they did feel that I wasn't telling them everything, they assumed that I had a darned good reason for it. I usually did, actually. Here, though, I'd be hurting my family if I just lied, on top of the fact that they wouldn't believe it anyway.

"A war, okay?" I growled. "A necessary war, actually. I just..." I sighed and looked out the car window. "Just trust me, okay? I'll explain everything to you when I can. Right now I just want to get home."

My parents exchanged a look, but they didn't press me on the issue. They just looked ahead and let me be. I could tell that they all had a thousand questions for me, but I needed time, and they finally realized that. They had me back after five years. I guess they thought that I wasn't leaving them again.

The worst part is, I would if I could. I needed to. I couldn't stay here.

* * * *

After about an hour and a half, we made it back to my childhood home. We didn't say anything as we filed out of the car, which I appreciated. I didn't want to answer any more questions from them. It was unavoidable, of course, but I'd only been back for a few hours. More questions could at least wait until the next day. Even though it was only seven, I just wanted to go to bed. Maybe I'd get lucky and wake up in Equestria. Maybe whatever higher power was in control there would want me to come back and restore the balance. Or not. Maybe the Elements of Harmony had already trapped Discord again, leaving Celestia and Luna time to look through every dimension to find me.

I could only hope.

"So, uh, you hungry, TD?" my dad asked when we were all inside. I shook my head and looked in the direction of my old room. "Oh come on, you have to be. When was the last time you ate anything?"

"I dunno," I muttered.

When was the last time I ate something? Uh... dinner yesterday? Something like that? It didn't really matter to me. I might have been hungry at that moment, but I didn't care about eating at all.

"Come on, you have to eat something," Mom said. "I... I have some leftover chicken from last night. I could heat that up. Or we could even just order some pizza. I could get us a couple of meat lovers. Those were always your favorites."

Yeah, they weren't going to let me go without eating. Fine. "Uh, the chicken sounds fine, I guess."

"Okay, I'll get started on that. Anything else you want with that? Corn? Mashed potatoes?"

I shrugged. "Whatever you want. I'll be up in my room." I frowned and tilted my head. "It is still my room, right?"

"Of course," Dad said. "We haven't touched it since you... well, we haven't changed it at all."

"Cool." A wry smile crossed my face. "Which probably means that it's still a bit of a cluttered mess, then."

Dad let out a weak chuckle at that. "Yeah, a little bit. We don't care about that, though. You go on and rest for a little bit. We'll have dinner ready soon."

Without another word I trudged up the stairs to my room. As promised, it hadn't changed at all, except that the stuff from my dorm room had been moved back in here. My bed had even been made. I guess Mom did that. Other than that, it was all as it should have been. I sighed and plopped down on my bed. It didn't feel right. Back when I was still on Earth, this room had been my sanctuary. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by anything, I'd come back here and relax. Now I felt like I was intruding on somebody else's private space. None of this stuff belonged to me anymore. I glanced over at my desktop computer. It probably had all of my old games on there. I vaguely wondered which groundbreaking games had come out since my disappearance.

Not that I'd care about playing any of them anyway.

I sat up when an idea struck me. Maybe I could...

I moved over to my computer and hit the power button. It instantly turned on, and I had to close my eyes at the sudden bright light. Still, good to know that it worked. I guess not touching it for five years extended its life a little bit. When it got to the main screen, I turned the sound off and clicked on Firefox.

Man, five years ago I'd break my computer before doing this. Now...

It took a bit of searching, but I finally found it on Netflix. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I clicked on it and searched through the episodes. Interestingly enough, I didn't appear to be in any of them. I guess it made a little sense. Between my rambunctious sex life with Celestia, being the sperm donor for Luna, and the bloody, brutal war, my life wasn't really appropriate for the show. A preview image of the final episode, the finale of season eight, showed that Rainbow Dash still had all of her legs, so I hazarded a guess that Applejack also had both of her eyes.

I guess that was good.

I flipped through the preview images until I found one that I was looking for. Season two episode three. It showed a screenshot of Celestia in the air, her horn lit with a determined look on her face. The episode title said "Lesson Zero." I smirked and allowed myself the barest chuckle. I remember hearing about that after I came to Ponyville.

I took a deep breath and clicked on the episode. Instantly a tranquil shot of Ponyville appeared, followed by Twilight and Spike going through a checklist. Good times, I'll bet. Simpler times.

I searched around the episode for a little bit until I found her. She appeared in a bright light in the air in the same shot they used for the preview image. She looked mad. I wondered if she looked like that when she appeared during the attack on my palace by the griffins.

That didn't matter to me. All that mattered to me was that I could see her. I gently reached out and touched the screen, hoping beyond hope that if I touched her I could feel her velvety fur.

Nope. Just a computer screen.

I took another deep breath and slowly, gently turned up the volume until it was barely audible and pressed play. With one wave of her horn she canceled out the "Want It, Need It" spell. She ordered Twilight to meet her in the library in that authoritative, almost scolding voice she'd used on me a few times. Right now I'd take it. Anything to just hear her voice again.

I leaned in closer to the speaker so that I could hear my wife's voice better. My breathing became shaky as I listened to her comfort Twilight, assuring her that she was a wonderful student that she was very proud of. Just hearing my wife's voice, but still knowing that this was just some voice actress pretending to be her... Bittersweet. That's the best word for it. Bittersweet.

Someday I'd hear her real voice again. Someday I'd hold her and not let go.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

I nearly leaped out of my chair at the sound of my sister's voice. I swirled around and shot to my feet, glaring straight at her. "What the heck are you doing in my room?"

"What the heck are you doing in your room?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at my computer screen. "You hate My Little Pony."

"It's none of your business. Just get out of here!"

"Are you a Brony now?"

"No! Just get out!"

Kristen huffed and leaned against the door. "Whatever. That's not what I came in to talk to you about anyway." Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "Mom and Dad might be fine with letting you be tight-lipped about what you were doing, but I'm not. I went through the timeline, you know. I know I was the last person you talked to before you disappeared." A pained look crossed her face, and her arm twitched like she wanted to reach out to me. "I just... I never thought I'd look back on that conversation and think that was the last time I'd ever talk to you, you know? We go our separate ways and then I have to hear that you've completely disappeared off the face of the Earth and I... I kinda blamed myself a little. What if I had just talked to you for another minute? Would the bright light have gotten somebody else? You wouldn't have been in the path of that car, that's for sure."

"It's not your fault," I insisted.

"Sure felt like it sometimes," Kristen muttered. "But now you're back. I dreamed about you coming back sometimes, you know? We'd all hug and cry and you'd be so happy." Kristen sighed and sat down on the foot of my bed. "Mom and Dad don't want to say it, but I've figured it out. You don't want to be here with us, do you? Wherever you were, you want to go right back to it. What, did the war you were fighting not end or something?"

I shook my head. "No, it ended," I muttered.

"So what, then?" Kristen put a hand on my arm. "Tell me I'm wrong. Please? Tell me you're just in shock or something, or that you're just tired from all of the crazy stuff that happened today." When I didn't answer, her hand slid down and she stared at the ground. "Oh."

"It's not you, I promise. For the first couple of years, I wanted nothing else than to just get back to you guys."

"So you have Stockholm Syndrome now?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that... I thought I'd never come back. I thought there was no possible way, so I just adapted. I made a life for myself. A very important life." I sat down next to her and thought about putting an arm over her shoulders, but didn't. Instead I just sat back-to-back with her, both of us staring at the floor. "I am happy to see you guys again, of course. If I thought it was possible, I might even want you to come back with me."

"Yeah, because that wouldn't be selfish of you at all," Kristen growled. "It's not like we don't have our own lives either. Would we even adjust to whatever place you went to?"

"I... I don't know," I admitted. "I did, but some seriously crazy things had to happen before that."

"Like your war thing?"

I shook my head. "No, that was after I'd settled."

Kirsten huffed and turned to face me. "TD, what happened? I don't want any more lies or side-stepping. I just want some straight freaking answers from you. Where were you? What were you doing? What the heck was this war thing? Why were you fighting it?"

"I... I fought it because I had to."

"So you saw some crusade wherever you went, and you just had to be a hero and join up."

"No. Where... where I was, they got attacked. They would have killed everybody if we didn't gear up for war. They especially wanted to kill me. Others had tried before already. That's what the arrow wound on my chest is from. Some parts of me think I shouldn't have survived that. I almost didn't. If they'd gotten to me minutes later... I spent three months in the hospital as it was."

"What the heck were you shot with, some poisoned arrow?"

I smirked. "Pretty close, actually. We beat them, though. But then more people came. The first one was just an attack by some small group. The war, though, that was something else. They wanted to enslave everyone and kill anything that stood in their way. I have no illusions that they wouldn't have killed me and... my wife and daughter."

I heard Kristen's quiet gasp. "Y-your what?"

I turned back to her, a small, sad smile on my face. "My wife and daughter. It's a recent thing. I've only been married for a month or so. Nymeria was born not too long after that. I actually have another child on the way, too."

"So..." Kristen groaned and rubbed her forehead. "So you got married to a girl you knocked up. During a war. Then you knocked her up again. Great. Just great." Kristen took a deep breath to center herself. "So I can guess that you weren't here, then. Like, on this planet. That's what the flashing light was. You were being taken to some other planet or dimension."

"Dimension," I muttered.

"Oh." Kristen took another deep breath. "Okay. Okay. Yeah. Another dimension where you were in a war and got married. I guess the wife and kid explains why you want to go back so bad." Kirsten sighed and leaned her head against my wall. "So, the war. Did you... did you... kill anybody?"

I grimaced and looked back down at the floor. "Are we talking deaths I caused directly, or deaths I ordered?"

"Uh..."

"Because if we're going with the first, then that number might be hundreds. Maybe even a thousand. If we're talking the latter... tens of thousands."

I looked back at Kristen, whose face had gone white. Her mouth flopped up and down while she tried to think of anything to say. Yeah, I wouldn't know what to say to that either. I merely took a deep breath and continued.

"Like I said: they were going to kill a lot of us and enslave the rest. They wanted to kill my wife and daughter. What was I supposed to do?"

"I... I dunno." Kristen shook her head in disbelief and rubbed her forehead again. "I... you went to another dimension, got married, had a kid with another one on the way, and you got in a war where you killed more people than I've ever met." The ghost of a humorless smile crossed Kristen's face. "At least you went somewherewhere they were all human, right?" When I didn't immediately respond in the affirmative, she sat up. "R-right? You didn't knock up some weird alien chick, did you?"

"Uh..."

Kristen groaned and facepalmed. "Great. You went native." Her eyes flicked up to my computer screen. "At least it wasn't the My Little Pony world, right?" Once again, I didn't confirm that, and her small smile faded away instantly. "TD, your next line is how no matter how weird what you went through was, it wasn't that weird. Please tell me that you're only quiet because you're thinking of how to explain what kind of place you were in."

"Wish I could," I muttered.

Kristen slowly got to her feet and began backing away. "No. That's... no. You went to a world with talking cartoon horses and married one of them. Got one of them pregnant, even. Just... that's..."

"To be fair, I'd turned into one."

"Yeah, that helps." Kristen took a shaky breath in. "So, did you marry one of the characters from the show? Is my sister-in-law Rainbow Zoom, or whatever she's called?"

"Rainbow Dash," I corrected. "And no. Yes I married one of the characters, but not her."

"Then..." Her eyes went back to the screen and landed on Celestia. "Oh. You married the big white one, didn't you?" She shakily pointed at the screen. "That's my sister-in-law, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so."

"You went into another dimension, turned into a magical talking pony and married that one. I..." Kristen shook her head and turned to open the door. "I need some time alone. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

I got to my feet and moved a step closer to her. "You believe me, right?"

Kristen paused for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess. Big flashing light, you know? Plus it's not like we've had a world war since you've been gone. I can't disprove any of your story. I just... I need some time to process this."

"So you don't believe me," I muttered. "But you believe that I believe what I'm saying."

"I don't know right now, TD. Just... let me think about this, alright?"

"Yeah, sure."

With that, Kristen left my room, shutting the door behind her, leaving me to wonder whether or not I'd just seriously messed up.

Author's Note

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Complications

"I'm so glad I have permission to call you TD. Your staff are a very welcoming, open-minded bunch."

I stifled a grin as I led Kristen through a tour of my palace. "Well, they never knew me as TD. In Ponyville, the place where I first showed up, they still call me TD there, so it's not like you'll be totally alone in that regard. I've always been Antares to these ponies."

Kristen rolled her eyes. "Well my goal is to change that. At the very least I'm going to let them know you aren't this big god thing that they have to worship at all times."

I frowned at my sister. "Well, I am big. In terms of body size I'm easily the largest pony on the planet. In terms of god, I guess it's a matter of the power gap between me and them. I'm immortal and can move the sun and moon if I wanted to. The average pony has a lifespan equal to a mayfly compared to mine." I shrugged. "At least that's how I'll perceive it after a few hundred years. Right now I'm younger than most of my staff even."

"That's gotta be a little trippy."

"Yeah, you're telling me. Because I'm an alicorn, I look a lot older than I am. We're talking thousands of years here."

Kristen tilts her head. "So because you look a lot older than you are, people are just going to assume that you're the older sibling."

"Yeah, probably."

Kristen frowned and would have probably crossed her arms if she wasn't using them to walk with me. "Great. I'm supposed to be the older sibling."

"Well, you will be. It's just that our subjects won't see it that way."

Kristen scowled at me for that little remark. "No, they're your subjects. No offense, but I really don't want to be holding court and stuff like that. I'm not really the politician type."

"I wasn't either before I started this job," I pointed out. "You kind of get used to it once you start picking up the subtle nuances of the job. Having said all of that, it's totally fine if you don't want to get involved in the politics here. Maybe you could join the Baltimare Swim Team, or something like that."

"Or underwater welding? Salvage diving, maybe?" Kristen said hopefully.

"You probably could," I admitted. "We've got a few oceans, but nothing that would need welding in. Our technology hasn't really advanced to that point. Maybe you could work for the navy, although ours isn't quite as big as the ones the griffins have."

"Maybe I could work there, then?"

"Not actually a good idea," I replied. "The griffins and Equestria are technically allies, but..." I spun my wing as I looked for the correct phrasing. "They've gone through a lot of stuff lately. They used to have a clan system led by dukes and one duke who was the emperor. During the war one of the clans took over the country and killed the current emperor at the time. In retribution, his daughter went back to Griffonia with some loyal griffins and killed everyone from the rival clans, down to their newborn children just so they wouldn't rise back up."

Kristen's eyes went wide, and she actually stopped in her tracks. "Wait, she killed kids? Isn't that totally wrong?"

"She got some flak for it from the other countries, yes," I admitted. "But that's how she had to keep power, I guess. If she hadn't then some griffin from another clan would have just risen up and tried a coup himself ten or twenty year later. The clan system was kind of outdated. But... yeah, we didn't really like the whole 'slaughter of newborns' kind of thing."

Kristen scoffed and shook her head. "Jeez, dude. Bet that was a bit of a shock to you when you found out."

Alicorn or no, I'm still pretty sure I can't effectively lie to my sister. The mere fact that I didn't immediately respond with something to the effect of "well of course it was" is pretty much the same as me saying "no, it wasn't a shock at all." Kristen raised and eyebrow and frowned at me.

"Dude, I'm really hoping you say something in the next few seconds. Specifically something about how you didn't see it coming and you were pretty mad when you found out that she killed kids."

"Kristen, what you have to understand is that her culture isn't like ours, and when--"

"Holy cow, dude, are you serious?!" Kristen shouted, moving in front of me and turning around so that she blocked my path. "What the heck? And you just let this happen?"

My eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and my wings twitched at my side as though they wanted to flare out to show my dominance. I kept my emotions in check, though. Yelling back at her or appearing aggressive like that would only lead to a shouting match between the two of us. "I didn't have any hard evidence that she'd do it, so it's not like I could have stopped her. Besides, we were at war with Griffonia at the time, and the coup ended that front, which probably saved tens of thousands of lives, so--"

"Are you seriously justifying killing children to me?" Kristen snarled, slamming her hoof on the floor. "You were going to be an elementary school teacher, TD, and now you're the prince of kids, or whatever. You're actually trying to tell me that you're okay with this."

"And when in Equestria did I say that I was okay with it?" I retorted. "I hated the idea, but at the same time I couldn't do anything about it! If I could have just stomped my hooves and made sure the children were safe then that's what I would have done! We needed Kathyrine on the griffin throne, and that's how her species does power transitions. She is not the first griffin to take power by doing that, and she's probably not going to be the last. We may be the most powerful nation on the planet, but we are not the planet's police."

Kristen's expression hardened, and she actually flared her wings out at me. Major faux pas to do that to royalty, but I gave her a pass because she's my sister. I still had to restrain myself from flaring out my own wings. I didn't know how much pony psychology was ingrained in Kristen, but if she got the mindset of a pegasus alongside the body, then a larger wingspan flaring aggressively would freak her out, and that could lead to all kinds of nasty scenarios, none of which would lead to the argument finishing quietly.

"You still should have done something."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "What? What should I have done? Sent my troops to take the country back with her? Well then that's seen as an international incident. I essentially invaded Griffonia and installed a puppet ruler on the throne. True or not, that's how it would be seen. Kathyrine had to do it herself. Maybe I should have gotten all of the children out of the country first? Well on top of that being kidnapping, that lets the dukes know that something is going on, and that's not even touching the logistical problems of getting a bunch of children out of the country. If even one of my soldiers is caught or seen then that's a huge problem. Now the Equestrians are kidnapping griffin noble children? Boy, I'd love to see how that one would play out."

"You could have... you--"

"I did everything I could have. I could only do so much to stop her." My glare slowly faded, and I sighed, rather tired of the whole conversation. "Look, I've already told you that I'm immortal, you know? I have to constantly play the long game here. As harsh as it is to say, I have to make impossible choices when it comes to war. A few kids die in a bloody coup, but that means that a second front isn't opened in a war and my country isn't being attacked from both sides. If I have to fight on a second front, that means I have to up draft numbers and/or divert resources from the western front and move them to the east, which means that the army fighting half a million minotaurs gets considerably weaker. Because Kathyrine took over, I don't have to open up a second front. Yeah, Kathryine had those kids killed, and it's tragic, but when I compare them to the untold thousands who would have died otherwise..." I grimaced. "Yeah, sorry, it's not even a choice, and I think you would have done the same thing in my place."

Kristen's glare didn't fade away, but she did fold her wings back. "I get it, I guess. Don't like it, though."

I scoffed incredulously. "And you think I did? I would have given almost anything to save them, but that wasn't an option. A dozen griffin children versus thousands of my subjects, though..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Kristen turned around and began walking away. I moved beside her and kept pace. "So the war is over though, right? You aren't going to have to make those kinds of decisions anymore."

"For the moment, yeah, not those kinds of decisions. However, that still leaves me with a hundred other unwinnable situations on top of the ones that require a fair bit of thinking to pull off." I flatten my ears and groan to myself. "Because ruling a nation will never be easy."

"Unless you wanted to form your own micronation," Kristen mused. "You could call it 'Kickassia'."

I snort and actually manage a grin at the thought. "Tell you what: I can give you an acre of land and you can rule that if you want."

Kristen shook her head. "Sorry, if I'm going to make Canada here in Equestria, I'm going to need more than one acre."

I raised my eyebrow at the idea. "Canada in Equestria, huh? So should I make you a princess ruling in Vanhoover, then?"

Kristen paused long enough that I figured she didn't completely object to the idea. It did make sense that she'd want to bring Canada to Equestria. A little bit of home would do a lot to help her adjust to life here. Like it or not, she wasn't going back to Earth anytime soon, if ever. I'm sure I could figure out some way to add some Canadian flare to her life. Not sure if it would be a good idea to build an exact replica of the Edmonton mall, though. After a few moments, though, she shook her head.

"Not really sure I'm the ruling type. Give me a pet octopus, a stretch of ocean, and some scuba gear and I'm fine with that."

"The pet octopus might actually be doable," I mused, causing Kristen's ears to perk up. "I'm not completely sure of all of the logistics, but you wouldn't be the first pony to have one."

I could practically hear the squee in her voice as she said, "Do you really mean it?"

"I don't see any reason why not."

"Yes!" Kristen leaped into the air, her hoof extended. Given her pegasus nature, she jumped higher than an average pony, enough so that she'd need to actually use her wings to land safely. Just as she reached the peak of her jump, she realized that she'd jumped a little higher than she intended, and instantly began flailing her wings around, hoping to gently glide down instead of plummet like a stone, which is what she did anyway. I lit my horn and caught her just before she hit the ground, preventing any injuries.

"We really should get you some flying lessons," I pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kristen grumbled, brushing herself off once I let go.

"It does mean you can go skydiving without a parachute," I pointed out. "I think you'll find you like being a pegasus."

"Of the three options, this one seems to be the least worse," Kristen admitted.

"You'll still need to learn about the other two tribes, of course," I pointed out. "So--"

"Mention school again, I dare you," Kristen said through gritted teeth.

"Okay, okay, I won't," I said, holding up a hoof. "We'll talk about it later, then. For now..." I stopped in front of the guest rooms and motioned to the door. "Your room." I lit my horn and opened up the door, revealing a well furnished bedroom not too much different from mine. It even had the kitchen extension complete with stove and fridge. A pegasus maid flew around the room, dusting the ceiling fan while a unicorn maid straightened out the bedsheets. Both of them stopped when they heard me come in, and immediately sank into bows.

"Prince Antares, we have nearly finished Princess Kristen's room. We can certainly get out of your way now, if you wish," the unicorn maid said.

"Oh, don't mind us. Just keep doing what you're doing," I said. Both of them bowed to me again, then resumed their tasks. "So, what do you think?"

"I think... um..." Kristen glanced at the kitchen area and shook her head. "Unbelievable."

"You're living in a palace," I pointed out. "I'm not going to have a cheap, run-down apartment available, you know."

"I know that, but I still never thought I'd ever live anywhere this nice, you know?"

"We do our best to make sure that the standard of living for anypony living in the palace is high, Your Highness," the pegasus maid said, bowing to Kristen. "We hope the conditions meet with your standards."

"Yeah, they definitely do," Kristen admitted. "I've never lived in a place like this."

The pegasus maid gave Kristen a happy little smile. "We are most honored that you think so, Your Highness. We will take our leave now."

Both mares bowed to us, then filed out of the room. I smirked down at Kristen, who was still staring around at the room in awe. I put a wing on her back and chuckled. "If it's too much, you can mess it up as much as you like. It's yours to decorate as you see fit."

"I don't even want to know what yours looks like," Kristen said, her eyes still wide.

"Honestly? Not too much different than this. Of course, you're not allowed in my room. Nobody is except Celestia."

"Really? You got a lot of top secret weapons designs in there or something?"

"No, it's just my sanctuary. It's a place where I can get away from everything and just relax. No decorum, no pretending I'm happy all the time, just a place where I can flop down on my bed and be me for a while."

"Huh. So if I said that you're not allowed in here..."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't come in. I'd make sure that your room was given the same status as mine. Not even the cleaning mares come into my room."

"Well, let's do that, then. Just like when we were kids." Her eyes narrowed and she poked a hoof into my chest. "And I'm serious, this time. No sneaking in to read my diary, or whatever."

"I've matured since I was nine, thank you very much." I stuck my tongue out at her. "I'm a father and a ruler now." Kristen stuck her tongue out right back at me, but she didn't keep the line of conversation going. I chuckled and shook my head. "At any rate, I'm going to go do a few prince things. I won't be gone long. An hour or two at most. If you need anything, just ask any of the staff here. They'll see to it."

"I am so going to order some room service," Kristen said as she flopped down on the bed. "Unless that's not allowed."

"Go for it, just don't go overboard." With that, I walked out of the room, shutting the doors behind me. Once I was alone, my smile faded and I quietly sighed to myself. Kristen might be mollified temporarily with a pet octopus and a cool room, but it was going to hit her at some point that this wasn't just some temporary trip, that she'd be stuck in Equestria as a pegasus for the rest of her life, with only me to connect with in terms of Earth memories. That and the realization that she'd wither away and die while I wouldn't would hurt. A lot. The only alternative is that I died a horrible death that she'd have to go through, leaving her alone in Equestria.

But hey, I got married and had a few foals. Maybe she could do the same thing. I wanted her transition to be as smooth as possible. Anything I could do to make her happy here.

I was taken out of my thoughts by the worried mutters of a few staff members and guards walking past me. I frowned and followed them down the hallway Kristen and I had just come through, and it didn't take me long to see the commotion. Several of my staff had gathered around a random spot on the floor, staring at it like it had just sprouted a perfect copy of Celestia. I pushed past a few of them and instantly saw what was wrong.

The floor was pink.

I frowned and leaned in for a closer look. It was a pink section of the floor, about the size of a hamburger. Closer inspection revealed that pink paint hadn't been spilled on it or anything. It was like a small section of pink stone had been installed alongside the rest of it.

Wait. Stone didn't seem right. I gingerly tapped the section of the pink floor with the tip of my hoof, and my eyes widened when it squished underneath my touch.

Okay, that's not right.

I straightened up and looked around at the dozen or so staff and guards that had gathered around. "Any of you know anything about this?"

"No, Prince Antares," one of the pegasus maids said. "I merely found the section of the floor like that. At first I thought that somepony had spilled something, but when I went to clean it up, it... squished like that. It doesn't feel like stone anymore."

"No, it doesn't," I muttered. "It's almost like..."

My eyes widened when a thought hit me. No, that couldn't be it. Maybe some spell that had gone awry... Although what that spell was and why somepony would use it in the middle of a random hallway were beyond me. I turned around and instantly bolted back to Kristen's room, flying over my guards in my haste.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was a perfectly logical explanation for everything and somepony had just spilled some potion. Again, not sure what kind of potion, but Occam's Razor suggested...

I actually didn't know what it might be suggesting here, but I needed to rule it out.

I burst through the doors of Kristen's room and saw her reclining on the bed, nuzzling into the comfortable pillows. She instantly shot up when she heard me enter and frowned at me.

"Does the 'do not enter' thing we were talking about have a period before activation? What's going on?"

"I, uh..." I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. "I just need to..." I lit my horn and scanned Kristen before she could say anything else.

"Hey, what the heck, TD?" Kristen snapped, flinching away from my magic. "You wanna tell me before you just go casting spells on me?"

"Yeah, that..." I shook my head. "Sorry, not going to happen."

Kristen's scowl returned in full force, and she hopped off of the bed, her wings flared at me again. "Oh yeah? Who says? What was that spell, TD, and why did you just burst into my room and cast it on me?"

"It's really best if I don't tell you. Alicorn stuff. You don't need to know."

Kristen's eyes narrowed. "TD, what was that spell?"

"None of your business."

"TD I'm serious!" Kristen roared, stomping a hoof on the floor. "What the heck did you just do to me?!"

My ears flattened and I lowered my head, refusing to make eye contact with her. "I didn't do anything. That spell was just a basic vital signs spell."

"And you didn't tell me because...?"

I pointed to the ground where Kristen had stomped. "That."

Kristen raised an eyebrow as she looked down to where I pointed. Her eyes widened and she took a step back when she saw the discolored bright green spot on the carpet below her hoof. "What the heck?"

"Kristen, I need you to trust me for a few minutes. I'm going to go get Celestia, and we're going to figure this out, alright?"

"What? Figure what out?" Kristen took a few steps toward me. "TD, what's going on?"

"We'll talk about it later. For right now, just..." I backed out of the room. "Just relax and order something to eat. I won't be gone long."

"TD!"

Before she could do anything, I backed out of the room and shut the doors behind me, locking them. Yeah, she'd be really pissed off when I finally let her out, but I couldn't risk anything right then. If she ran around the palace in a rage looking for me, who knew what could happen? I rushed away from the room and straight to my office, where I wrote a quick letter to Celestia. I couldn't figure all of this out without her help. I'm not sure how I'd figure it out with her help. Once the letter was finished, I sent it to her with a burst of my magic.

This was not going to go well. Not well at all.

Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe there was a perfectly logical explanation for all of it. Her human side messing with her innate pegasus magic, or something like that. Take a few pills or whatever and she'd be fine after some profuse apologies from me. Granted, I'd need to give her some anyway.

For that matter, it'd probably be best if I went back to her room. I couldn't let her out, but I could at least talk to her a little bit, right? I took a steadying breath, then made my way back to the room. When I reached it, I couldn't hear anything, which didn't bode well. I cleared my throat and knocked on the door.

"Uh, are you okay in there?"

"TD, when I get out of here you're going to explain this to me, then I'm going to beat you senseless," I heard her growl.

"Fair enough." I paused for a moment. "Any more of those spots appear?"

"A few, yeah. I ran over to the door when you left and every step I took made more of those things show up. Care to explain exactly what is going on?"

"Well, I think--"

Before I could say anything else, Celestia and Luna both rushed down the hallway, their eyes wide. They stopped when they reached me, and Celestia didn't even bother with a greeting nuzzle.

"Are you sure?" she said quietly, looking to the door.

"No, but that's why I brought you here. I haven't told her anything."

"That may be for the best, but we cannot hide it forever," Luna muttered. "We may as well get this over with."

"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "Yeah. She's already freaking out."

Without another word I unlocked the door and opened it up, revealing Kristen standing on the other end, glaring at me. As expected, more of those multicolored spots appeared on the ground. She saw Celestia and Luna and sighed.

"Great. I'm dying of cancer, aren't I?"

Celestia gave Kristen that maternal smile of hers. "Of course not, my little... Kristen. We merely have some concerns about the magic you seem to be performing." Celestia lit up her horn and, before Kristen could protest, hit her with a scanning spell. I saw her maternal smile flicker into a grimace for a brief moment, and she gave me a single nod. Not good.

"If you three aren't going to tell me what the heck is going on..."

"Kristen..." I took a deep breath, then sat down so I was at her level. "I'm not sure how to say this exactly, but... you remember that Discord guy, right?"

"Him? Hmm. Not sure if I do." Kristen tapped her jaw in an exaggerated manner. "Oh, is that the guy you basically tore in half? I think I might have some vague memories of him. Not too sure."

I managed a weak chuckle at that. She's a Powell through and through. "Right. Him. So I'm sure you remember Death, too. He, uh, came to talk to me that night and said that there would be consequences to me doing that. Also, Celestia told me that there's always gotta be a chaos god, so..."

Kristen's eyes widened, then instantly narrowed. "TD, if you're making a joke right now I'm never going to speak to you again. I promise. This isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing," I muttered "Kristen... I think you're the new chaos god."

Kristen stared at me, then Celestia, who nodded, then Luna, who also nodded. She looked back to me, and I could see confusion and fear in her eyes. "I... what?"

"It is true," Celestia said gently. "I knew Discord from the moment of his creation. His powers manifested themselves when he was young in moments of extreme emotions. That and I sensed chaos magic in you when I scanned you."

"And that's... not like from the portal, or something?" Kristen said, desperation creeping into her voice.

Celestia shook her head. "Perhaps if it were merely some lingering trace, but not in the concentration I felt. Even if that were the case, lingering chaos magic wouldn't grant you the ability to..." Celestia poked a spot on the carpet. "Change the ground into what appears to be strawberry pound cake."

Kristen's gaze flicked to the spot Celestia had poked, but she looked away almost instantly. She turned her attention to me and stared straight into my eyes. "So... you mentioned Death and consequences and stuff. So what you're telling me is that because you wanted to kill Discord, you wanted revenge or something, now I'm being punished by fate or whatever forcing me to be the next avatar of chaos, is that it?" Kristen took a step toward me, completely unblinking. "One might even say that you did this to me."

"I..." I sighed and looked away. "Kristen, I'm sorry. I didn't think--"

"Guess you didn't." I chanced a glance at my sister and saw that despite her blank face, I could see her legs shaking and tears welling up in her eyes. "So..." Kristen took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof. "I see."

"Kristen--"

"They'll probably call me a freak now, right? They've all gotta remember Discord. They'll look at me and see him, won't they?" Her eyes hardened into a glare. "I thought I could do it, you know? I thought maybe I can make things work here. I could adapt and be happy." She stared over at Celestia. "But that's all over, isn't it? I'm going to be hated and feared for the rest of my life because of what my brother did."

"Well, uh..." I tried for a small smile. "On the other hoof, I guess you're probably immortal now, then."

Kristen's gaze snapped back to me, but her expression remained unchanged. She merely took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Go to Hell. All three of you." She turned her back on us and sat down, staring at the wall. "Get out."

Celestia took a small step forward. "Kristen, if there is anything we can do to help you in this--"

"Get out. Just get out." When none of us moved, she shot back up to her hooves and wheeled around to face us, her wings flared completely and tears streaming down her face. "I said get out! Go away and leave me alone!"

"Okay, okay, we're leaving." I got to my hooves and backed away. "Just--"

"OUT!"

Without another word the three of us walked out of the room, leaving Kristen to fully digest everything. This wouldn't be an easy transition by any stretch of the imagination. There were internal and domestic implications, there were political problems, ponies that would be afraid of her now, call her a monster like Discord...

But I couldn't think of that right then. All I needed to do was comfort my scared and confused sister. I chanced one last glance back to her. She was lying on the ground with her back to the door, staring at the wall, not moving.

Author's Note

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Hearth's Warming

I sighed as I looked into my throne room and gazed upon the absolute mountains of gifts that I'd received for Hearth's Warming this year. It's one of the things I hated about the holiday. Don't get me wrong: it's nice to see that ponies care, but... ugh. It takes weeks to sort everything out, and three ponies working for another two weeks to get the thank you cards sent out. I didn't get a ton of them for my first few years as a ruler, but it especially blew up once we'd won the war. Ponies seemed to have this perception that I'd won it single-hoofedly, and now they wanted to give gifts to their newly minted god of war. I don't want to be the god of war, but that's how they see it, even though the war had been over for almost two years at this point.

The life of a prince, ladies and gentlemen. At least we found ways to donate them or whatnot. I think most ponies understood. It wasn't exactly a secret that we received mountains of stuff every year. At least it died down a twinge once we made a rule that ponies were only allowed to send us one gift a year, then the next year, we specified even more that families could only send one, after several of them gave us one gift from each parent and then all of the children.

I walked into the maze and idly picked up a crocheted plushy of myself. It would be heartwarming and really neat if I was sure that I wasn't going to find nine more over the course of the next few weeks. At least the ponies took the time to make them, which did mean that we appreciated them more than the ponies who just got us something from the store. I did have to also make a rule that ponies couldn't forge swords and other weapons for me. Again, rather not be the god of war.

"Dang, dude. I never really get used to this," Kristen said from behind me. I turned around and saw her hopping over different presents to get to me. "I mean, this is only the second Hearth's Warming that I've ever been here for, but given that you said that this is every year, I'm worried for when the population gets bigger."

"Which it does most years," I said with another sigh. "I mostly just keep the stuff from the foals. Cards and the like. I'd rather get those than..." I picked up a strange contraption in my magic and frowned. "Whatever this is."

"Huh." Kristen tilted her head. "Is that even legal to have, much less give to you?"

"I don't know," I said, tossing it back onto the pile. "Maybe it's their way to give the god of war another weapon. In any case, I at least need to do scans on all of this to make sure none of them are bombs or other hazards like that. We've had that a few times over the years. Never fun."

"I can get that," Kristen said, picking up a nearby card attached to a box of chocolates. "Also probably don't want to eat anything until you've made sure that it isn't poisonous. Or can you even get poisoned?" She shrugged and shook her head. "But I..." She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow as she read the name on the card. "This one's for me."

"It is?" I said, walking over to her. "Who's it from?"

"Not sure yet. Hopefully it's not poisonous." She opened the card and wrinkled her nose. "Great. It has a poem attached to it. This should be good. 'my dearest love, I cannot bear to be apart from you. I know my thoughts and feelings are true. To my heart I must listen, my dearest, most beautiful Kristen'..." She stuck her tongue out and shook her head. "Great. Just great. It's a lovey-dovey one, too. Hopefully he doesn't send me anything for Hearts and Hooves day."

"Hope not. Who's it from?" I asked, despite a growing feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me exactly who this was from."

"Let's see... it says it's from Duke Gold--" Her eyes narrowed, and her teeth bared. Not good. "Golden Banks." She tossed the card and chocolate aside with a grunt of disgust. "When will he get it through his pretty-boy head?! I'm not. Freaking. Interested! I thought I made that clear during the Gala. Besides, how come he waited until now to give me something like this?"

"Dunno," I muttered. Dang it, I'm an alicorn! I need to be better at hiding emotions than this! As if to prove my point, Kristen slowly turns her head to me and gives me a slight glare.

"You wouldn't have happened to be... intercepting packages and stuff like that from him, wouldn't you?"

"I thought that--"

"Ugh!" She stomped her hoof on the floor. "Seriously?! How long has he been sending me stuff?!"

"About once or twice a week since the last Gala."

"Oh for pete's sake! Not only do I have to reject him every time I see him at something stupid like the Gala, but he keeps sending me stuff like this even though I've repeatedly told him no and never replied?!" She ground her hoof and growled. "Fine. Fine. If he wants a reply, he's going to get a reply!"

"Kristen, I don't think that's a good--"

But she had already turned herself invisible and vanished into the pile of presents. Not good.

* * * *

"Did you have a good Hearth's Warming, Master Banks?"

I chuckled and nodded as I nursed my eggnog. "Yes, I think so, Jeeves. Although..." I gave an unhappy sigh as I set my eggnog on the end table next to me. Outside, the snow was gently falling, creating a powdery blanket on the ground. It reflected my pained heart. "Princess Kristen has not yet replied to any of my mail. I pine after her unlike anything I have ever pined for."

"You did really want that My First Bow and Arrow kit when you were nine," Jeeves muttered to himself before clearing his throat. "If I may say so, sir, perhaps you should move on. Princess Kristen obviously has no intention of returning your affections. It's been many months since the Gala. Certainly there are other mares out there who would be happy to have your company, Master Banks."

"But I only wish for one." I picked up the eggnog and took another sad sip. "To think what would become of our family if we were to be married, and she is a comely mare. I admit that I do not know her well, but that would come in time, and there is certainly nothing about her that would be unseemly."

"If you say so, Master Banks."

Before I could respond, I saw what appeared to be a small flash of light out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head with a frown. No, it couldn't have been anything more than the fire. However, I noticed one last box underneath the Hearth's Warming tree. It was barely larger than my hoof. I stood up and walked over to it. It was small enough that I can see why it was missed. With a burst of magic from my horn, I levitated it over to me.

"Jeeves, what is this?" I turned the box in my magic, examining it. There wasn't a tag on it. A cursory glace around the base of the tree did not reveal any kind of note indicating who it was from.

"I know not, Master Banks," he said, walking up to me to examine the box for himself. "I don't recognize it as something I put under the tree."

"Odd." With another burst of my horn, the bright red wrapping paper fell to the floor, revealing a simple brown box with an eighth note on it. A music box. "My word. I wonder who it could be from."

"Or if it's for you," Jeeves pointed out.

"It's under the tree in my room. It has to be."

With one final burst of magic, I lifted the lid.

* * * *

"Prince Antares? Mister Golden Banks is here to see you."

Sigh.

"Alright, Time Keeper. Let him in."

There was no way this wasn't about whatever Kristen had sent him. I tried everything I could think of to get her to tell me what she'd done, but she just stayed in her room and didn't bother responding to me at all. I guess it was time to figure out what she'd put him through.

The door to the throne room opened, and Golden Banks walked in. His mane was frazzled, sticking out at odd angles, and the bags under his eyes indicated that he hadn't gotten much rest lately. Stuck to his hoof was an open brown music box. That can't be good. He stopped in front of my throne and collapsed.

"P-Prince Antares," he wheezed. "M-make it stop!"

Ugh. "Make what stop?"

"Th-this!" he groaned, raising the hoof with the music box attached. "Some cruel prankster or domestic terrorist must have sent this to me. I can't get it off or close the lid?"

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head. "What music is playing? I can't hear anything."

"Hearth's Warming songs, Prince Antares." He shook his hoof again, but the box didn't budge. "High-pitched voices. Like how a chipmunk might talk. Singing of hippopotamuses for Hearth's Warming! And Hearth's Warming shoes for mothers! It's all I can hear!"

Wow. Wooooww. Okay, I get that she's annoyed with him, but I might need to make that illegal if it isn't already. The box was bad enough, but the songs... that was wrong. I lit my horn and encased the box in my magic. Yeah, tons of chaos magic around it. I negated it with a quick spell, and the box fell to the floor, snapping shut upon impact. Golden Banks curled into a ball, muttering something to himself.

"Time Keeper, if you could see to it that he gets something to eat and... maybe a therapist, I need to get to my next appointment."

Time Keeper bowed. "Very good, Prince Antares." He walked up to Golden Banks and nudged him to his hooves. "Come on. Let's get you some soup, alright?"

Golden Banks just kept muttering to himself as Time Keeper led him to the dining room, and once they were gone, I left out of the side door and make a beeline for Kristen's room. When I reached it, I pounded on the door with perhaps a little more force than necessary, but it matched my irritation.

"Kristen, Golden Banks came in. I got the music box off of him."

The door swung open, revealing that her pool now went to the edges of the room. That's new. Kristen glared at me from the middle of the room, where she was laying on her back in the water. A fully-grown Bob floated idly beside her.

"I told him to stop at the Hearth's Warming party. He kept hitting on me, once stopping just short of asking to go into the back room for some 'private time'. I told him to stop more. He didn't, even when the guards dragged him away. He got what he deserved."

"I know it sucks, and we do what we can to make sure that you two aren't around each other, and I get that you were frustrated, but driving him insane isn't the right way to go about getting him to stop. Besides, he doesn't even know that the box is from you, so it's pointless."

"Oh, he'll get it," Kristen said, idly examining her hoof. "He hasn't opened his second present yet."

I groaned and rubbed my temple. "What is it? How exactly are you going to get him to stop without revealing your powers?"

"Maybe you could stop inviting him to the palace's events and forcing me to go?"

"You know why we can't," I growled. "His family is one of the most important in Baltimare, so not inviting them to events would be a disaster, and you're a princess. Ponies expect you to be there. If you weren't at the Hearth's Warming party, ponies would talk."

"Ponies would talk, and my word, we can't have that!" she said, mimicking a Canterlot accent.

"You said you wanted to go to the Hearth's Warming party, but..." I groaned and thunked my head on the door frame. "I'll figure out how to get you out of more events."

"'preciate it."

"But only if you tell me what his second gift is so that I can stop it."

She rolled around onto her stomach and looked up at me. "It's a box with a speaker in it that will start playing those songs every time he looks at my name or sees me in any way, be that in person or even a picture." She pointed to a small box that was bobbing in the water next to a floating lamp. "I haven't sent it yet."

"And you won't," I replied, taking the box in my magic. "I'll have a talk with him about it. I'll make sure he doesn't bother you anymore."

"He'd better not," Kristen growled. "I managed to get a hold of one of the letters he sent yesterday." She shivered and slowly started sinking until only her head remained above the water. "I needed brain bleach."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'll talk with him."

"Wonderful."

With that, the door slammed shut in my face. I turned and walked down the hall, shaking my head and muttering to myself.

"I really need to make that illegal. Although, maybe if we got into another war I could... no. Too much."

Author's Note

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