Author's Note

Okay, so obviously I'm doing something wrong with the ratings I'm getting. Please, help me improve and tell me how I can make this story and my writing in general better.

Have a Nice Trip...

“I’ve been wondering about something.” I began as I sat on my bed while Twilight searched the room for anything that could be called a ‘personal belonging’. “What do I look like?”

“Why do you ask?” Twilight’s voice ended up behind me but trailed along around my right till she was somewhere before me. “Kind of a strange question to ask, don’t you know what you look like?”

“I seriously don’t really know… It’s entirely possible that my appearance may have been changed since last I remember. So many deaths must’ve left some kind of physical scar on me, right?” I replied, my head turning to try and figure out where Twilight was.

“Okay, well…” Twilight’s voice startled me when she appeared directly in front of me. Hopping up, she used my knees to stand herself upright and get a closer look at me. “Silvery white hair? Is that normal?”

“No, it should be dark brown.” I shook my head in reply.

“Short enough that it doesn’t look shaggy but long enough to be pulled back and spiked?” Twilight detailed specifically, making me shake my head again.

“Should be short to an inch or so. Dress code and what not.” I explained and went silent again while Twilight examined me, making little noises as she did so.

“Scar running from your left jaw to your right eye?” Twilight seemed to lean back away from me with this one. I did actually remember getting this scar from whatever service I performed. Can’t remember the details like how or where I got it, but I do remember spending weeks in the hospital to recover.

“That’s normal. Should’ve lost my eye in that one but the blade didn’t cut deep enough to permanently damage my sight.” I nodded back and let Twilight return to her examinations. “I’d ask about the eye colour but it’s probably white, yes?”

“Yeah, typical of somepony who’s blind. Let’s see… Straightforward jaw, short neck by our standards… I notice how there aren’t any scars on your neck from the times we’ve cut off your head.” Twilight noted as I could feel her breath near the skin of my neck. Was warm and I could smell a hint of whatever she ate earlier in the day. Couldn’t identify it but it certainly wasn’t anything I have ever eaten.

“You say that so casually… ‘Yeah, we’ve cut off your head a few times, we’ve dismembered and exploded you a few times… No big.’” I mimicked in the best Twilight voice I could come up with, earning a swift punch to the gut for the trick.

“Well, I have been more exposed to biology than most other ponies. I suppose I have also gotten slightly used to the sight of gore because of your various deaths…” Twilight admitted as she went back to examining me. “So, what about your voice? Anything different about that?”

“Tenor and sexy as fuck? Nah, that’s all natural.” I grinned back with my best deep and sensual voice I could come up with. It failed, apparently.

“Okay, ignoring the ‘come-on’ in that… Uhm… you’re pretty bulky in terms of body size, I suppose that would be because of your training?” I nodded back to the question. “Okay, sickly white skin colour?”

“Not normal, but probably results from the first death…” I remarked and flopped back onto my bed while I tried to pull up relevant information on said first death.

“What do you remember about that?” Twilight asked as she hauled herself up onto the bed and sat down to my left.

“A sharp whistle… then an intense burst of sound...” I began, trying to piece everything back together. Funny, I could apparently piece myself back together faster than I could remember a memory. “A wave of scorching heat… White flames on my body… I felt sick all over…”

“Sounds like some kind of strange explosion… Don’t know about the whistling or the sickness, but the rest of it sounds like some kind of powerful explosion went off near you.” Twilight reported in attempts to help me piece everything back together again. It actually did help somewhat, as I could make out the feelings of that white flame on my body, the intense heat and the sickness I felt immediately after…

“If the explosion was somehow not just an explosion of fire, like if it was nuclear, then the radiation could’ve mutated me and changed my skin colour.” I suggested but from the silence I got from Twilight, I figured I somehow confused her about something. “What?”

“What’s ‘nuclear’?” Twilight inquired, sounding more than interested to learn about something new.

“I don’t know specifics, but all I know is that a nuclear bomb takes a payload of a split atom and detonates it. Or something like that. The resulting explosion is often enough to destroy a good portion of an entire country and creates nuclear radiation, something that is extremely toxic and causes cellular mutation and then, in larger quantities, death.” I explained to the best of my ability. I felt like I had fudged something up in that explanation, but I wasn’t quite sure where or what it was.

“Hold on, your species figured out how to split an atom? How’d you do that?” Twilight sounded dumbfounded. I shrugged and she groaned in irritation. “Well then, what do you know?”

“I know guns, I know martial arts, I have a pretty good idea of how jet engines work…” I replied right off the bat, somehow surprised I could form such a list so quickly. No idea where all that came from…

“What are jet engines?” Twilight inquired as it felt like she settled in for the learning.

“I’ll explain it if you keep packing.” I offered in turn. Twilight ‘ohh’d’ at the reminder of her prior task and hopped down from the bed to continue searching to get us on our way. “So, all I know is the Ramjet engine. The jet engine is used to propel an aircraft fast enough to achieve lift and fly.” I began, habitually taking to speaking with my hands as well. “The engine takes in air from the intake, usually at the front of the engine, and compresses it in a combustion chamber. Adding in a mixture of jet fuel and combining, the result is then introduced to a spark generator and ignited. The resulting explosion is controlled and funnelled out the back of the engine, which creates thrusting force all while driving a turbine to spin the air compressor.” I explained, all while drawing out a miniature, invisible picture of the engine in the air, figuring that Twilight was watching. Silently. Intently.

Why was there no sound in the room?

“How are you doing that?” Twilight whispered from directly in front of me, startling me and making me jump. Doing so set off a miniature explosion in the room, startling me yet again as my second jump was further propelled by the force of the explosion as I was sent face first and upside down into a wall.

Recovering with groans of pain from the both of us, I found myself sliding down the wall quite comically and totally defying the laws of physics till my head hit the floor and snapped my spine.

“Mother fucker!” I screamed out as my entire body first flashed in a new pain, then quickly went numb. Twilight, on the other hand, seemed to have had a better time as she audibly collected herself just as the doors burst open and the sound of a small stampede alerted me to newcomers.

“Are you alright? We heard an explosion!” a male guard demanded before the sound of hooves stopped around me, probably circling me to try and detain me.

“Ow, what hit me?” I muttered back as my body remained limp despite that I tried to fix myself. I could feel that my body wasn’t right. My chin was pressed against my back and I couldn’t feel my neck.

“Magic, I think.” Twilight reported, sounding like she was getting closer on unstable hooves. “It looked like you were drawing in the air with magic!”

“That I can tell you right, fucking now is impossible. Humans don’t have magic.” I pointed out as best as I could. “Now, would you please fix me?”

“Yeah sure, just a minute.” Twilight groaned as she rolled her joints, creating that unmistakable cracking sound that I often longed for, especially now. Twilight approached and squeezed through the guards with an ‘excuse me’ before flipping my body around to my back. Which meant my face was buried into the stone floor. “This is going to hurt.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” I sighed back and took in as great a breath as I could with my throat essentially destroyed. I felt the semi-familiar tingle of magic on my head as it was yanked on with force, giving a solid and bone chilling crunch as my neck reappeared. With a second movement, Twilight stepped up onto my chest and gave a solid counter twist, creating that second crunch that just fucking hurt.

“I do not envy that guy in the slightest. I think I’d prefer to just die.” one of the guards remarked as I remained where I laid and let my spine reconnect. No idea how long it usually took for my body to actually regenerate after a death, so this was a new experience.

“So, you claim not to have used magic, yet we exploded.” Twilight recovered and curled up on my chest to watch my blank stare. “You also cannot be killed, I don’t suppose that’s typical for your race either.”

“No, no it is not.” I agreed with a heavy sigh, heavy because of the added weight. “And I’d love to go into more detail about that explosion, but i’ve got nothing till I can see again.”

“And since you don’t show any sign of regaining your eyesight…” the pony on my chest sighed in defeat as I felt the guards all vacate the room in silence. “Right then, once you’re able to move again we’ll be on our way. I still want to know about how you managed to perform that magic.”

“You know, I’m just going to take your word on this regarding the magic. I don’t believe you for a second but i’ve got nothing else going for me at the moment.” I found myself wishing that this paralysis would hurry the fuck up and fuck off… the floor was cold. “So, what did it look like?”

“What did what look like?” Twilight asked in a low octave of voice, her voice causing rumbled in her body which echoed into my own.

“The magic. I can safely say I’ve never seen any magic performed so I have no idea what it looked like.” I replied when a thought occurred to me. I can feel her speaking in my chest. I can feel. Testing, I worked on bringing my arms up and grinned when they obeyed. Testing my feet, I found that only my upper body had been restored so dropped back my arms again to continue resting.

“It looked like very old seal magic. Couldn’t really read any of the Arcanese but it looked unstable.” Twilight explained for me, but noticed the look of confusion on my face. “What?”

“What’s Seal magic?”

Accompanied by a groan of frustration, “Okay, Seal magic is a physical form of magic. It’s made up of different parts called Bindings, Keystones and Modifiers. The spell starts with a simple layer of basic functions, constructed from Keystones and modifiers, all held together with Bindings. For example, the telekinesis spell I use, that every unicorn can use, would be a simple Seal spell. Take the Arcanese Keystone for Force, then add on modifiers for Ascend, Descend, Forward, Backward and so on, then bind them all together with the generic Bindings, and you can lift anything to however strong you are.”

“I didn’t understand any of that.” I admitted low and slow as I tried to imagine what the Spell Seal would look like in my mind’s eye.

“Okay look,” Twilight sounded frustrated now and began poking me in the chest with a hoof. “Let’s use your jet engine explanation. You probably used the basic Keystones for Compress, Fuel, and Ignite. Then you would have added on modifiers for Repeat Indefinitely, Direction and bound them in whatever Binding spell would be required. Unfortunately, the spell probably destabilized and exploded because you didn’t bind them.” Twilight replied, drawing circles and shapes on my dress shirt. I took the vague images she drew and translated them into rough images in my mind, forming a general idea of what the spell looked like.

“So, if I was to use magic, I’d have to do it through this old method of Seal Magic?”

“Yes. And since Seal magic is extremely outdated, no one could teach you how to wield it.” Twilight concluded with what sounded like a smile on her voice. “Personally, it’s extremely exciting to find somepony who can use the old methods!”

“But I can’t use them, because I have no idea what I’m doing and can’t see what I'm doing it with.” I reminded the little pony with a finger up and tried to move my feet. Success!

Sitting up suddenly, placing a hand on Twilight’s back to keep from knocking her over entirely, Twilight let out a mild yelp of shock before recovering and hauling me to my feet. “Shall we get a move on?” I inquired, dusting my backside off before twisting my body to work the kinks out of my spine.

“Let’s get going!” Twilight announced and dragged me out of the room by the hand.

Four trains and an hour later. Wait…

“So.. are you going to fill me in on what the location looks like?” I half asked, half demanded. Four hours on a train had bored me almost to death, I could actually feel the weight of death bearing down on me again, just like when I was decapitated. Or exploded into a wall. Or thrown into a wall and exploded.

“What, the town or my home?” Twilight asked from my left. Even if I couldn’t see, I ‘looked’ around just out of habit and for something to do to keep my neck from stiffening up.

“Yes?” I replied sarcastically while Twilight kept my hand tingling with magic.

“Okay, well Ponyville is pretty… uhm… rustic, compared to Canterlot. Where Canterlot is all stone masonry and pavement and what not, Ponyville is more... dirt and thatch.” Twilight sighed as she fought for words. Never before had she had to describe an image like what her town looked like to someone and it showed when she spoke.

“Sounds… charming…” I groaned in disappointed disdain for the mental picture I had. Of course, my mental picture was all mud huts with thatch roofing and tribalistic residents with tribal tattoos on their bodies. Then something sparked my blind eyes.

A single point of light in the far distance and above me.

“Is that Rainbow Dash ahead and above us?” I asked, pointing in the general direction I thought was where the light was.

“Where?” Twilight inquired, trying to follow my pointing finger. “I don’t see her.”

“Well, she’s barrelling down on us pretty damn quickly.” I replied as I watched the prick of light draw nearer and nearer with incredible speed.

“Watch out!” Dash screamed just as the light struck into my chest at break neck speed. I was launched backwards and ragdolled a good couple feet while the light was thrown away from me before I eventually came to a landing. The next thing I knew, that familiar sense of death loomed over me.

Death is unbecoming of you. Get up. Try again.

Rousing myself from… death… I let out a groan more of frustration than of pain and rubbed at my blind eyes with my hand.

“Exactly fifteen minutes, just like I told you.” Twilight commented from overhead of me. “See? I told you he’d revive.”

“You’re taking bets now?” I groaned back and rolled onto my arms and knees before being helped up by Twilight and another who, after noticing the light, told me was Rainbow Dash.

“Of course not, I’d win every time and then no one would bet against me.” Twilight huffed back once I was to my feet. “Dash wasn’t convinced you would come back even after I proved you were dead.”

“And how did you manage to prove that?” I winced as a sharp shooting pain alerted me to something sticking out of my chest. Feeling the wound, I found what appeared to be a very... large… knife… “You fucking stabbed me?” I demanded and wheeled on where I thought Twilight was to try and smack at her. I missed and fumbled to the ground again.

“What? It’s not like it actually did anything, right?” Twilight just sounded like she rolled her eyes at me… did she just roll her eyes at me?

“No, but it fucking bloody hurts!” I shouted back and yanked the blade from my heart, literally, and gave it a toss away from me. “You may not care, but every time I die, I do actually feel the pain!”

“Did you just accuse me of having no regard for life?” Twilight reared around on me, or I think she did -it’s so hard to tell being blind, and planted her hooves on my waist to try and get closer to my face to look angry. An action that was completely fruitless.

“No, I’m accusing you of having no regard for my life.” I replied, twisting my body to throw Twilight back down again. “Seriously, if this is what I get to look forward to when living with you, I'm gonna be moving out pretty damn quickly.”

“It’s like watching an old married couple.” Dash mumbled to herself nearby to my right. The light in her, I still wish I knew why I could see a light in her, allowing me to pinpoint her exact location.

“Just give him a second, he won’t remember this when his brain resets.” Twilight sounded like she was grinning. “His memory loses fifteen minutes of events after death. Usually it encompasses the before and after…”

“Twilight, you remember how you timed my death?” I asked as carefully as I could while gritting my teeth. If I could see her, I’d give her a solid kick to the face.

“Yeah, and?” Twilight’s voice suggested a “What’s you point” kind of tone before she gasped, groaned and the sound of a pony walking off told me she’d left.

“There it is.” I smirked and turned to Dash’s light. “Dead for exactly fifteen minutes, right?”

“Yeah… Oh, you already went through the reset thingy?” Dash concluded and stepped next to me to take my hand in what I could only assume was some kind of feathery…. Thing. I had no idea what she took my hand with but regardless, she hopefully began leading me off in the general direction of wherever Twilight had gone.

“Which means I’ll remember everything she just said, yes.” I finally concluded before a thought struck my mind: something was missing! “Where is it?” I whispered, patting myself down as quickly as I could to try and find the item. “Where is she?” I whispered against, checking all my pockets but found myself lacking. “Where is she!”

“Where’s who?” Dash rounded in front of me with a voice of confusion, halting our progress.

“Can you see her? Where’s the little figurine of Dash?” I demanded, throwing my head in all directions as if I could actually see what I was looking for. Pointless, but at least it gave me some inkling of hope that it may have had some kind of indicator like Dash.

“Why do you even want something like that? I don’t even know where you would’ve gotten it.” Dash groaned in annoyance and started to walk off again while I continued the search.

“Please! It’s important to me!” I called back, dropping to my knees to try and feel across the ground towards the approximate area where we had just been and I was killed. “I have to find it!”

“Ugh, here!” Dash called back, turning my head over my left shoulder as she diverted her trip towards her right and stopped. “It’s right here!” her light began to move closer to me as I sat back on my knees, ignoring the gravel digging into my skin rather irritably. “I don’t get why this little thing is so important, but here.” she sighed and thrust the item into my waiting open hands before the light began moving away again.

“Thank you…” I croaked out and switched over to my backside with knees up clutching the small item. I still couldn’t remember why this little thing was so important to me but it didn’t matter, I felt significantly better with it in my possession. “I’m so sorry guys… I didn’t want to do it…” Where did that come from?

“Do what?” Dash asked with what sounded like not a care in the world, as though she was dealing with a depressed, rambling blind man of a whole new race from her. Oh wait.

Rather than give her a proper response, I simply kept muttering what felt like the right words despite not knowing where they came from. I could barely understand what I was saying, but all I know is I caught wind of the words Jeramy, Orders, and Gunshot. Yeah, that can’t have been good.

“Who’s Jeramy?” Dash inquired, alerting me to her remarkably close proximity to me. She heard that over everything else?

“I think… a friend…” I mumbled back and sucked back whatever was threatening to leak out of me before working myself to my feet with the figurine in hand.

“What happened to him?” Dash’s voice had softened at this revelation of information as she allowed herself to be my eyes and helped to lead me towards wherever it was we were going.

“Probably dead by gunshot. Someone, probably me, was ordered to shoot him down in whatever war I was a part of.” I sucked in a lungful of breath and pushed my hand clutching the figurine into my pocket for relative safe keeping.

“You were ordered to kill your own friend?” Dash’s walking sounds stopped as her voice dropped away behind me. “Why?”

“Don’t know details, but it was probably because he was on the enemy side.” I explained as best I could without actually being able to relive or recall the memories. “But, not to worry, it’s okay! I’m fine!” I forced a laugh out, though it sounded less of an attempt to calm my mind and more of a desperate cry for help. “Besides,” I found my voice higher than usual. “In all likelihoods, everyone I knew or loved is probably dead by now!”

“Well, aren’t you just a bundle of joy?” Dash groaned to herself before she dropped back long enough to stop the sounds of walking altogether. Suddenly, before I could ask, a weight was presented to my shoulders as something draped itself on my back and hung off me like a small child. “Look, I’m sorry for my behaviour. I can’t possibly imagine what you would have had gone through in your world. This talk of war, this talk of five deaths,”

“Six.” I corrected with a sorrowful sigh.

“Six deaths, it’s all so difficult to talk about because I have nothing I can relate to! Plus, you’re carrying around that little statue of me and I don’t know why and I can’t ask you, because you don’t remember why other than it was important to you.” Rainbow took off again, now resorting to rambling over my shoulder. I cautiously reached back and placed my hands under her butt, swinging her rear legs around my torso in order to properly carry her, despite the slight jump she gave when I did.

“It’s alright, I suppose I have been a bit of an asshole since getting here…” My voice came out in a sort of grumbling as the physical contact between Dash and I began to warm me from within and soften the cold heart within. “Six deaths, a whole new… world, I suppose… I don’t know my name, I don’t know my past… I’m blind…”

“It’s overbearing, huh?” Dash concluded for me and rested her head on my shoulder before giving me a bit of direction change by tugging on my shoulders. “I wanna apologize for calling you creepy for having that statue. It obviously means a lot to you so it’s not in my place to judge over what brings you comfort.”

“Damn, look at us getting all sappy now.” I chuckled with the thought, earning a smack to the back of the head from the pony warming my back. “But thanks, sorry I was so upfront and direct the first time…”

“Yeah, I was wondering about that actually, you said I had some kind of light?” Dash pulled her head from my shoulder to push it over and look at my face. “What was that about?”

“Everything around me is black. It’s like being locked in a dark room with no doors, windows or sources of light. There is something about you, and only you, that emits some kind of light-source. It’s just a little pinprick of light, but it tells me exactly where you are as long as you’re within view. I was able to pinpoint your exact location when you were about to crash into me before Twilight could even see you.” I explained and gave Rainbow a slight jostle on my back to get myself more comfortable and get her back in place over my shoulders.

“So… i’ve got some kind of beacon?” Rainbow asked in attempts to reach a suitable conclusion. “Can’t imagine why, I don’t have anything on me that could do anything like that.”

“Regardless, it’s a very pretty light. Light blue, like a little flame.” I mumbled back with the thought. Look at me, the hardened soldier is getting sappy again.

“So,” Dash’s voice suggested a mischievous grin. “Would you say that I… light up your world?” she chuckled and gave me a slight smack on the back of my head with a hoof. Once I nodded, “I know, I'm pretty awesome. I make everyone’s day better.”

“And not at all conceited in the slightest.” I added, earning me a third smack and a cheerful ‘Hey!’.

“Well, it seems our time is at an end.” Dash announced through a breath. “We’re at Twi’s.”

“Well, why don’t we hang out again later? You’ll have to lead me around and introduce me to people. I’d suggest you show me the sights…” I suggested and let Dash backflip off my back and land on her hooves.

“Right, maybe we should. How about… tomorrow after I’m off work?” Dash suggested with a knock against my leg with the hoof.

“Sure, see you later.” I nodded back and stepped up to where I hoped a door was. I was closer than I thought and ended up running into the door which I suppose acted like a knock. Dash ran off laughing to herself while the sound of something inside the building told me someone was coming to greet me.

“Well, it took you long enough to get here.” Twilight announced once she pulled the door open and helped me to my feet. “Come on, let’s get you settled. Oh, someone wants to meet you.”