Life is cruel in some ways but nothing like my own life. I feel like I have been chained, collared, leashed by my own people.
All my life, all I ever felt was that I was collared. I felt like a slave to my own family. The room they put me into to sleep and do my work was just a cage to me. Almost every time, the door would lock behind me when I entered my cage.
They never knew how I felt even after all the times I have ever said it to them. All they would do is tighten my invisible collar.
My wings were weak as they never cared to teach me how to fly. They said my mind was more important than my wings were. But my wings, they were the one thing that could help me but they were binded since the beginning.
I have never really experienced freedom from the time I was born. I was always the child to be like them. They all think that being like them is the best way to live life to its fullest.
But that is not the case. As I have said, I feel the shackles of lies, depression, and anxiety on my very soul. They never listen.
They always watch me on whatever I do. I have no final word to them and they always get the final word.
I would do things they would do as well but I never wanted to do it. All I wanted to do was be free from my descent into darkness.
The only time I felt free was when I would look stuff up. They never cared about the stuff I looked at as long as it was for my education. I always managed to sneak in some comics in the books as they never really check them. Those comics were the only source of freedom I ever had but I always got bored reading them over and over again.
School would be a place for me to be free right? No. It was never the case.
They were always with me no matter what. I would see them every day as they thought I was still a baby to them. They have eyes everywhere to the point where I can't even do anything without them knowing. For me to not let them know about my hiding spots, I would bride some of their associates to let them not speak of me.
My grades always had to be a B or higher. If I ever got lower, they would consistently tell me to raise it no matter what. They never thought about some of the stuff they teach in school would be too difficult for me to understand.
They would ‘help’ me wash myself, brush my teeth, change my clothes and anything else every single day. They just see me as a child with no right mind in the world they live in. I have no free being in this life.
I always held a fake smile upon my lips as I go to school and my home. They all thought I was happy but in truth, I was in a depression of the many things they did for me. I never had a real smile until I met her.
The girl of my dreams. She was what I wanted to be, free. Free from the chains of despair, the collar of master and pet, and leash that would lead to me to any direction to which they choose. She was a transfer student from Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns. She said that she wanted to experience life in a regular school instead of a private one.
We met when we became partners in a project for science. She would laugh at my antics as I was never good in that class. She helped me through the process and gave me my first A in that class. She was the first person to ever make me smile for real.
We were best friends and about a year into our friendship, I asked her out. She accepted and things went down from there.
They never knew about her as I would sneak out at night to just go out with her. My wings helped with that as my cage was at the top of my captor's home. They set up curfew in order for me to get the best of my sleep for education. Not that it worked anyway. It was always strange that they never thought to look into my cage to see if I was asleep or not. I always took that opportunity to go visit the world from my fate and be free for a couple of hours.
She was always happy and she was the one hope in my life that I could escape these shackles of mine and be free with her forever.
Sixteen. Sixteen is when I finally made a move and we became steady ever since. My captors never found me with her as we always were in a secluded place in the school.
But one day, they found me. They found me one day in the gym with my girl. We were making out at the time but we never noticed the shadowy figure in the comer looking at us.
When I got home, they locked me in my room and forbid me from seeing her again as they thought love was a thing to not toy with until eighteen.
The aspect of love was the only thing making me smile. Love is always a complex thing to us all but they wouldn't know what love is even if they tried. All I wanted to see her face again before I go.
Chains, a collar, and a leash are the things I feel that are on me. My finally wish was to just see my love smile one last time.
I have found a way to break these shackles of mine and to be free forever. They never carried about me. They only carried about me being just like them. I hope no one has to go through the things I went through in life.
I can see me free from everything and everyone. I just wish it haven't had to be this way. If my life was never in chains, I would have not done this. I always hated all of you for the things you did to me but for the one person I love, it was you that made be free from my prisoner life in hell. You are the one I love most of all in my life and I'm sorry I could not see you one last time, my beloved, Twilight.
Love Signed, Golden Heart.
