Spike turned in his bed. Something had disturbed his slumber, but, still half asleep, he tried to not pay attention to it, only to fail as the tingling in his neck grew stronger. He took a glance at the small clock on his nightstand. Two o'clock. Of course.
Stretching his arms and yawning heavily, he left, with a look of regret, the warmth and comfort of his bed. As he did, it called to him to return, offering a well-earned rest from a full day's work of writing and burping letters with the new Dragon Lord. He dismissed the calling, just as he did his aching stomach from all the fiery belches, and left his room and aimed for the library. The cold crystal floor didn't help to ease his mind from a wonderful dream, involving a giant gemstone, a surprisingly talkative phoenix and a beautiful white dragon, being cut short.
Now that Twilight and him didn’t sleep in the same room, even though his was still only several meters away, he didn’t have to handle any of her late night studies or past midnight scheduling anxiety. It had been a slow learning experience for the Princess of Friendship to not have him around, and a slower one for her to not freak out for every little thing. He was hoping their new guest wasn’t the kind of pony easily overwhelmed by small details because tonight, as he groaned out his exasperation, he felt he hadn’t enough energy for one of those crisis.
“I've had to deal with one insomniac for countless years and, of course, she would be just like her,” he mumbled to himself. “I don't care if she is planning an evil plot at the moment. She’ll have to wait until tomorrow for any of those crazy ideas she's up to.
Finally at the library's entrance, he slowly pushed the door open and noticed that, once more, his sense hadn't failed him.
Spike cleared his throat, then said, “Starlight?”
The unicorn gasped. Failing to keep her focus on the light and telekinesis spell, the room went briefly dark as Spike heard the sound of several books hitting the floor. A small ball of light illuminated the room a moment later, and Starlight recognized who had caught her.
“Spike?” said Starlight .
“What are you doing?”
“Ooh…nothing…you know…just a late night reading.” Her face showed anything but awkwardness. “I'm sorry if I woke you, I could have sworn I had cast a sound spell.”
She lit her horn, but before she could finish casting, Spike interrupted her, waving his arm. “Don't bother, I'm sure you had it right the first time; I haven't heard anything before I entered.”
“Then, how did you...”
“Hoard sense.”
“Hoard what?”
“Hoard sense,” he repeated with a sigh. “It's a dragon thing. You can ask Twilight tomorrow for all the details, but basically, if someone moves something in my hoard, I can feel it.”
“‘Feel it’, hmmm… But there aren’t any valuable pieces of gold or any gemstones in the castle. Those are what dragons usually gather, don't they?” Her eyes started to look about as she began to mumble, “What could be valuable in here that...?”
Before she could finish, once again, “Books, maybe?” he answered, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe you hadn't enough time to go all over the shelves, but there are books here, some of great value, and some written by Starswirl himself. Plus, I don't know if you have noticed but the entire castle is made of crystal.”
“Yeaah...” Starlight said with a look of disbelief.
She lit her horn once more. Even if any of her magical glow was visible, Spike stared at her.
“Wonders of Griffonstone, Ancient and Noble Houses of Equestria, Natural History of Minerals and Thus Spoke Princess Luna,” he recited, slightly grinning at the sight of Starlight's widely open mouth. “Now, you might as well tell me what you're looking for so that I can go back to bed.”
“Actually, iiiiit's nothing important that can't wait until tomorrow,” she said, showing one of her best fake smiles. “I'll go to bed too. It’s”—she laughed nervously—“pretty late. Sorry, again!”
Despite what he thought earlier, Spike wasn't ready to let her go with this. He didn't move from the front door when Starlight tried to exit the library, hoping she had handled the situation.
“Spike, can you move please?” she asked with less assurance.
“Starlight, whatever you were doing back there, you'll finish it, now. I didn't walk through the whole castle just to hear ‘it's nothing, ‘kay thanks, see you tomorrow’. So, you're gonna tell me what's on your mind that made you rummage through the bookshelves at two in the morning.”
He firmly locked eyes with her, showing that there would be no bargaining of any sort.
Starlight tried to think of anything that could get her out of her unpleasant situation without making things worse, but after several minutes, she dropped it. “Uuuugh, fine.” She sighed. “I was looking for the Journal of Friendship. Happy now? Can you move please?”
“Not quite. What do you intend to do with it?”
Starlight's nervousness, at first, started to get replaced by exasperation, then by anger. “Figuring out a way to go back in time and help Tirek defeat your precious little friends so that I would finally have my revenge! That's what you wanted to hear?”
Spike took a step back, hearing Starlight's voice getting louder and higher.
“Or maybe you would want to hear something else? I know, maybe I could find a way to destroy that friendship which unites you all! Or maybe by constantly reminding everyone of their flaws or past mistakes! That would be funny, wouldn't it? WOULDN'T IT!”
Silence fell, more deafening than Starlight's previous yelling. Knowing he had struck a nerve, but not knowing which one, Spike tried to think of something that would not anger her further.
“Starlight, I just—” he began to say, only to watch her teleport away. With a sigh he finished, “...wanted to help you.”
The little dragon was facing Starlight's room. The short trip had taken longer for him than for a pony, with his short legs and his inability to teleport, but it had helped him think about what happened with Starlight. He had obviously upset her, but he hadn't any clue how. Was it something he had said? Maybe it was his tone. The waking in the middle of the night hadn't helped put him in the good mood and that had certainly leaked out. But whatever it was, he was firmly determined to sort it out. The guilt he was feeling wouldn't let his mind rest in peace anyway.
He knocked on the door. No answer came. He knocked again, louder.
“Go away,” came a voice from the other side.
Finally, an answer, an expected one and one he was prepared for.
“Starlight?” he tried.
“I said go away!”
“Look, I know you're upset and you don't want to see me right now. What I don't know is why, so if it's something I've said, I'm sorry.”
“You're forgiven. Now leave me alone.”
“No, I won't.”
No reply came back. Huh, that doesn’t sound promising, he though. He tried to open the door but it was locked, unsurprisingly.
“Starlight, let me in.”
Once more, no reply.
“Starlight, you may excel in magic but I'm a dragon. I can melt the door if I want and, if it's the only way to enter, I won't hesitate. So let me in.”
Once again, the sound of silence was the only reply he got to his threat.
He pondered for a moment if he would actually go through with it. On one claw, he could easily reach that stubborn mare and try to make amends for whatever he did, but on the other claw, he guessed Twilight would not be very happy to hear that he had destroyed a valuable possession. And all that without thinking about the fact that the door belonged to a princess and that this might fall under a crime of lèse-majesté.
He hadn't decided what to do yet when a quiet click came from the door. Guessing it meant he had permission to enter, he didn't waste any more time and did so.
He found Starlight leaning on the windowsill, gazing at the clear night sky. He felt that the cool breeze from outside was quite adequate to his situation. The fact that Starlight hadn't turned to face him wasn't helping either. But he still tried his best.
“I'm sorry if I said something wrong earlier, I was a bit pissed off by being woken in the middle of the night and I shouldn't have been so blunt. And since I hadn't told you about my hoard sense, you couldn't know that it would wake me up,” he said as she finally left the window to face him. “I really wanted to help you...” Upon seeing a bit of redness in her eyes he stopped.
“How do I do, Spike?” she asked.
He was sure that tone wasn't good news. “Do what?”
“You don't trust me.”
“Not really,” he said. “But I know you aren't anymore what you were. In fact, if you were really looking for something to harm us with, I'm preeeetty sure you wouldn't have bothered with searching for excuses. I know for sure that I wouldn't be able to last more than a minute if I had to stop you, with what you're capable of.”
“Flattery? Really?” she said, rolling her eyes.
“It's not flattery, it's a fact. I would probably survive our duel, you know, being a magic resistant creature and everything, but I can't stop you. You did teleport earlier and there was nothing I could do at that moment. So no, I don't really trust you. Not because I think you're still evil but because we barely know each other.”
“So why do you keep reminding me of my mistakes? You think that will help you to know me better?”
“Yeah, that's...because I...well... I tend to act like this when I'm not feeling comfortable. Sorry about that.”
Starlight closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.
It seemed she wasn't ready to resume the conversation, so Spike took the lead. “About the Journal of Friendship...”
“Nevermind, it probably doesn't have the answers I'm looking for.”
“Answers for what?”
“You won't drop it, will you?” She stared at him for a moment and thought that Rainbow Dash would be proud of him. “You won,” she resumed. “I was hoping to find some advice in it. If it had helped Twilight and her friends to defeat that insanely powerful centaur, I thought it could provide some clues about friendship.”
“Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?” Spiked smiled. “You know being the Princess of Friendship's number one assistant, I can help you with that,” he said with pride. “What do you want to know?”
“It's...personal.”
“Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed...” he mumbled.
“You were right, we don't know each other very well. You don't really trust me and I don't trust you either so excuse me if I don't share that topic with you.”
“I don't see it as a problem,” he said, then recited, “Third rule of friendship building: exchange personal matters to reach common grounds.”
She sighed. “Spike, we aren't babies.”
“Uh, technically, I am a very young dragon and you have renewed a friendship one month ago that had ended when you were still a foal. So yes, we are babies. In terms of age for me and in terms of friendship for you.”
Starlight didn't find anything to reply. She looked deeply at the purple dragon. He clearly was a “baby”, as he had stated, with his height barely higher than that of a foal, but he could sometimes show some maturity. Being raised by Twilight must have helped in that way.
“I can start if you want. Have I ever told you about what happened at the Equestria Games?”
It might be worth a shot after all, she told herself. She just had to start talking. Come on Starlight, you can do it.
“You see,” she started, “I'm a little lost. I'm kinda supposed to be friends with everypony but sometimes I feel a bit out of place.”
“How's that?”
“Well, I know that I'm supposed to be forgiven for what I have done but—I don't know— sometimes I don't think they all forgave me.”
“Why?”
“For instance, I'm not involved when it comes to saving Equestria. They all go and I'm left behind, here, in this empty castle, devoid of...”
“Uh, Starlight? What about the Crystal Heart?”
“It was Sunburst who found the way to repair it. I didn't do anything.”
“You're wrong. I was there, remember. You figured out that your old friend would have a solution the moment our friends informed us what was going on. Without you, the Crystal Empire would now be covered in snow and the Crystal ponies would be... Well, I don't really want to think about what would have happened to them. But still, you played a big part in the solution.”
“Not as big as yours when you faced King Sombra. What did they call you? ‘Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious’?”
“That's quite a big title if you ask me.”
“Especially for a dragon of your size. Uh...no offense.”
“None taken. I'm glad for their gratitude but I often think they overdo it. Anyway, I can assure you that they all forgave you and that you can rely on them as much as they rely on you.”
“Yeah but being left behind is hard sometimes. I worry about their safety but at the same time, I kinda wish they brought me with them. I know it sounds silly but I feel I'm letting everypony down. How do you manage to be at peace when your friends regularly put their lives on the line?”
He contemplated the question, not sure if he was ready to be that intimate with her. But he was the one who had pressed the issue.
“I'm not,” he finally said. “I'm as worried as the first day when Twilight went to the Everfree Forest with her new friends to retrieve the Elements and faced Nightmare Moon. It's not easier today; I always worry. I worry that if I'm not with them, they would get hurt. Even when I'm actually with them, I never know what I can do. I just, I don't know...I just trust them and myself to come up with the best solution.”
“That's easier to say than to do.”
“Won't argue about that. Hey, I know one page of the Journal that could help, let me bring it back here.”
Spike started to leave but Starlight's telekinesis stopped him. She came closer before releasing him.
“Let me handle this please.”
The room vanished in an instant, replaced by the library.
“So where it is?” she asked.
“Third set of shelves on your right, next to that green book,” he said while climbing the ladder in order to grab it.
The sound of Starlight's magic being channeled made him stop halfway.
“Starlight, wait!”
He braced for the incoming pain that would inevitably stab his neck, closing his eyes while Starlight, oblivious to Spike's plea, cast her magic to grab the Journal of Friendship. But nothing came. Aside from a small tingling, the same kind that had woken him up. There wasn't any pain.
He reopened his eyes and saw that Starlight had pushed aside the others books, the green one included, and was making the Journal come closer to her.
Okay, that’s unexpected, he thought.
A smile crossed his face as he rearranged the green book, verifying that he could indeed read on the spine 'Spike's album'. Satisfied, he jumped from the ladder and got closer to Starlight, his smile still bright.
Author's Note
Nothing much to say except many thanks to Georg for letting me borrow one of his idea and the advices.
Please, leave a comment wether you liked it or not. It helps to improve.
