Approximately 1050 years ago
I am a immortal Monster. Okay now we got that out of the way why don't I introduce myself. My name is Heavy Hoof and I am a stallion Pegasus Who just so happened to piss off the wrong Draconequus. A long long time ago I lived in the land now known as Equestria I was living in a delightful little town situated almost exactly below discords throne which I'm sure you can imagine was simply spectacular. Oh and by the way if you can't tell that I'm using sarcasm then you're an fucking idiot!. I was collecting chocolate frogs from the ice cream lake when I noticed 2 Alicorns fly overhead. The bigger of the two had a pure white coat and a light pink mane. The smaller Alicorn had a dark blue coat and an even darker blue mane. My face turn scarlet a few seconds later when I noticed that they were both missing there tales now I'm not exactly easily flustered but those two were absolutely gorgeous. A few moments later I heard a voice next to me whisper.
Enjoying the view?
Oh shit was my one thought as I swung my head around and saw a smirking Draconequus.
Now now now you shouldn't peak.
He said with a almost childlike giggle. Now before you judge me and my less then intelligent actions after this you have to realise I have a habit of letting my self babble when I'm freaking out. So of course the first thing to come out of my mouth was.
Fuck you and your shitty chocolate fish!
I know really stupid but I've been holding that one in for awhile I mean come on why does everything have to be sweet I just missed savoury stuff. Discord just blinked at me for a couple seconds until an even bigger grin stretched his face.
Oh you're a feisty one aren't you.
I tried to stay as quiet as possible hoping he wouldn't notice me of course it was a little late for that.
And you don't even like the way my fish taste.
He said with a rather annoying pout on his face. At this point my brain was pretty much shorting out so the only thing I could think of to answer him with was the honest truth that I hate sweet things. This sentence I would come to regret a lot!.
So you hate sweet things and you're a pervert.
And then he snapped his talons together transforming my shitty life into an extremely shitty life. The first thing to change was my teeth they became sharp and pointed like a predator. The next to change was my coat which was previously a dark green in colour but was now as black as night. This was about the point where I passed out. HEY! Don't judge me having your entire being altered by an insane spirit of chaos isn't exactly pleasant. Now I could tell you about all the tragic things that happened to me but I won't because I met you like 10 minutes ago and it's a rather personal story. But I know you're curious so I'll describe what I now look like. My teeth are extremely sharp and a little bit too big for my mouth i'm also a lot stronger and faster than I was before And as an added bonus every single one of my senses has improved. Now why don't we talk about my new diet which speaking of consists of raw meat and for some weird reason cotton candy. Oh by the way did I mention I hate sweet things with a BURNING FUCKING PASSION!.
Ten years later.
I am crouched in a cave devouring the previous occupant which happened to be a grizzly bear he rather foolishly challenged me to a game of pray and predator i'm assuming he thought he'd be the predator unfortunately for him I've snacked on manticores before. Approximately five seconds later I felt a strange sensation crawling it's way up my hoof glancing down I noticed that my leg was turning grey rather quickly. I only had about 20 seconds of panic before I was turned into a statue with half a bears leg hanging out of my mouth. And I sat alone in that cave for about 1040 years.
Present day.
Fluttershy: I walked into the Everfree Forest I didn't really want to but Angel bunny had just disappeared into the appropriately named forest. I was frantically calling out Angel bunnys name but unfortunately my shaky voice bailey rose above a whisper. After about half an hour of searching I stumbled upon a cave which just so happened to have a half eaten carrot sitting in front of it. I let out a relieved breath as I slowly approached the opening of the cave.
Angel come here mummy is got some treats for you.
Nothing but silence answered her of course so she hesitantly inched her way further into the cave. Silently thanking Celestia that she had remembered to bring a torch she then coaxed the several fireflies into lighting up and then promptly drop the torch because a very big thing with extremely sharp teeth was standing directly in front of her.
Heavy Hoof: You have no idea how boring being a statue for 1000 years can be. I think after the first 100 years I went crazy of course even being batshit insane can get boring after awhile so at the 800 year mark I started to reclaim my sanity which took about 40 years. Which means I was extremely bored for about 200 years okay now with got the numbers out of the way I can tell you about today. A small bunny hopped into my cave which to be honest isn't exactly noteworthy of course what happened about 20 minutes later was. A yellow Pegasus trotted into my cave it was The first time I'd seen another member of my species in over 1000 years and she was kind of cute. So my first reaction was to politely say hello of course that's when I remembered that I was still a statue without the ability to speak or move any part of my body. She looked extremely nervous and her hooves were fumbling with something in side her saddlebags suddenly she produced some kind of flashlight and flicked it on. This is the point where she screamed and ran into a wall face first knocking herself out and making me wish that I could face hoof.
