The Best of Twilight Sparkle's Twilight Time

by Greatmewtwo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Equestria Girls
Length: 12869

More Twilight Time segments all gathered together on one super-special VHS tape (or DVD).

The Best of Twilight Sparkle's Twilight Time is finally here after so long. Now available on DVD and VHS, Twilight answers some of her favorite questions and gets into all sorts of other wacky situations.

Art by luminaura (via DeviantArt)

Published 2016-11-15 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-28 19:55:07 UTC

Pizza Cheese

As Twilight looked at the raw videos of the segments, she could not help but think that in all her science training, in all her chemistry, her biology, or her physics, she never thought to put much of it in practice in real life. Eventually, she got to one involving Applejack asking her about what pizza cheese was.

Apparently, after a date between Shining Armor and a potential suitress who called herself Chrissy revealed a plot to trap him in a loveless marriage for his alleged intelligence and riches, Twilight always had this issue with cheese. Chrissy was one of those girls who were into the musics, cooking, and science; at one point in time, she aspired to be an obstetrician/gynecologist specializing in reproductive technologies. The big issue with her, however, was that not only was she so interested in Shining only for the love and attention she craved, but she also had this odd fascination with cheese, bugs, and non-Newtonian fluids. American, Cheddar, Edam, Emmental, Gouda, or Provolone, it was not uncommon for her to eat cheese with every meal, even if it meant that it would disrupt the regulation of her gastrointestinal tract. At one point, Chrissy and Shining Armor even took her out for pizza, only to not get the chicken pizza she asked for and witness the two kiss with the hot mozzarella cheese in Chrissy's mouth. Traumatized by the incident of relentless and unrequited love, she went again to the camera and recorded another video clip.

"Okay. So this Twilight Time was an interesting one," she started as she was playing with a blob of glue-based putty. "You are probably wondering what's up with this Smooze that I'm playing with right now. Well, this next one isn't about the nature of non-Newtonian fluids, but it's not too far. I have eaten a lot of pizza on Fridays, including with pepperoni, pepperoncini, spinach, chicken, and even olives. Honestly, it was always so weird that the pizza we got in the school was always so cheesy and greasy, and that the cheese was always so stretchy like it could block your stomach. Anyway, this one involved pizza cheese and what it truly is."

With that, the next segment began:

"So, our next letter comes in to Twilight Time from @sweetapplejack, and she says:"

Dear Twilight,
We were eating pizza yesterday and the cheese on the pizza in the cafeteria was stretchier and it tasted like oil. What’s that about?

"Okay, sweetapplejack, I was actually looking into where the pizza comes from, and judging by the ingredients, they use what is called a cheese analogue, or an imitation cheese. People usually make this imitation cheese stuff with oils, flavorings, colors, the active protein in cheese, casein; and other chemicals such as stabilizers. That's why they're easier and cheaper to make. Real cheese, on the other hand, is made primarily from milk, curdled and acted upon by enzymes and microbes. The texture, flavor, and even the way it melts can be affected by the way the agents act on the milk and how long it ages. This would also explain why those cheap pizzas we get from the frozen food aisle are sometimes so cheap...and so cheesy...Shining, I didn't want to eat the pizza, I wanted chicken! SHINING!!!"

After watching herself break down in front of the camera like that on a live video, Twilight found herself laughing and coming to terms with what happened with her brother. She even laughed at that childhood memory after realizing how far he came to marry her old babysitter, now deaness of Crystal Prep, Cadence. Every now and again, she would think of their baby, Flurry Heart, and all the issues they went through during Cadence's pregnancy.

Candy Thermometers, Featuring Discord

The next video clip Twilight queued up for her compilation was the segment that Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon suggested. To her, Lyra and Bon Bon were entertaining in that they were textbook best friends unlike her colleagues at old Crystal Prep. They talked together, ate together, drank juice together, and played with each other's hands. Lyra was into creativity and science fiction, but her parents always saw this as a quirk to be celebrated. Bon Bon, on the other hand, enjoyed the sweeter things in life like candy, despite her overall valuation of friendship that governed her work ethic.

Twilight was also captivated and enthralled a bit when she remembered that Lyra told a story about how she and Bon Bon met when they were children. The long and short of it was that as kids in kindergarten, Bon Bon used to be bullied a lot over the fact that she was able to eat gummy bears and small chocolate Smoochies while everyone had to get bland and puffy rice cakes. Many days, she would be crying because many of the other boys and girls would conspire to steal her Miss Everyday lunch box to see what goods she had in it, but she was always there to hold her hand, regardless of how desirable her snacks were. Unable to see her best friend getting bullied week in and week out, she stood out from the predators and volunteered to stand guard at both of their lunch boxes; soon as vultures could get on the attack, she would ward them off with whatever crayons she was armed with, defending her and her lunch at the same time. So moved was her act of kindness and deviation from the pack that they almost never left each other's sides. Anyone who threatened them, even as the teachers were watching their stories on TV, knew never to mess with the bond of good friends.

Remembering such fun stories, Twilight remarked about it in her interesting segment about candy, as she got the camera rolling again.

"Candy. It's dandy and it's sweet. When I did this one, I was just transferring to Canterlot High when two very best friends warned me about this one particular school counselor who everyone called Discord. Even though he was a bit of a pain, he totally changed over time, and I invited him to record a segment while I tried to figure out what became of my time at Crystal Prep. But here's the next segment about candy and sweets."

"And we're back with more Twilight Time," began Discord with his grayish skin, brown coat, and odd haircut. "Summer vacation's been a doozy for Twilight Sparkle, especially at Crystal Prep with the Friendship Games, so I, Discord, shall be taking over for her until everything is resolved. Anyway, my questions today include one from sweetiebons, and she says:"

Dear Twilight,
I just came across this thermometer that reads "soft ball" and "hard crack" and stuff like that. What does that mean?

"Sweetiebons, this is a rather simple question with a less-than simple answer. What you found is what they call in the candy business a candy thermometer," he continued as he pulled one out for demonstration.

"Unlike a meat thermometer, they can read a higher range of temperatures typical of ovens, especially as the temperature of the sugar solution governs how much of a concentration of sugar there is and therefore what kind of structure it assumes."

In the video, Discord had a demonstration ready to roll with numerous beakers of sugar solution and candies to help him as visual aids on the table.

"In the candy world, the temperature of the sugar solution you work with can assume any of seven stages, primarily named for what happens when it's exposed to water. At the thread stage, the syrup is barely heated past the boiling point of water, and it's still watery enough to be syrup."

As he talked, he doused chocolate syrup onto what appeared to be a Pinkie Pie vinyl.

"At the soft ball stage, you can make a very soft ball with it, like what you'd make fudge and fondant with."

From off the camera, he produced a wooden bat with two red stripes adorning the head and whacked the soft ball, producing a shattering screech and a voice telling him that it was a new record.

"Firm ball-stage sugar," he started, "lets you make nice, yummy, sticky caramels."

With that, Discord proceeded to stick an Applejack vinyl into four caramels. He spoke as he had three sculptures of candy in the form of several other ponies made for some of the students in the school, especially one of rock candy for Maud Pie, a nougat sculpture for Sweetie Belle, a marshmallow sculpture of Rarity, and a gummy treat form of Gummy; Pinkie Pie's pet alligator.

"Hard ball candy gives you those rock candies, nougats, marshmallows, and gummy bears."

He went on to take a small hammer out of his coat for his next few demonstrations. Made simply of wood, he took care to avoid making a mess in Twilight's basement.

"Soft Crack sugar will harden when cooled and break after being bent a bit, like taffy and butterscotch," he remarked, breaking a taffy Twilight's taffy horn.

"Somewhat not least, hard crack has so little water that it gives you rigid candy, such as those lovely lollipops and toffees that make up your holiday shopping lists. And finally, caramelized sugars are notable in that they turn a brownish color as the sugar itself burns, but that's another story for when you decorate your desserts."

As he ended, he loaded those purple-tinted brown sugar glass needles into a prop weapon based on one in the game, Halogen.

Twilight continued to review the video and reflected on Discord's progress as a functioning member of society. It was kind of depressing knowing that he went to university with Principals Celestia and Luna, only to realize that he would be on medication for a time to treat his own schizophrenia. With that, Twilight ended her editing for the day and saved her progress. It was now time for supper, a meal of meatloaf with mashed carrot and corn.

Wireless Fidelity! It's 20% Crueler

Wireless Fidelity! It's 20% Crueler

Right as school got out the next day, Twilight had foregone her usual trips to the library and found herself in the basement listening to the acoustics of more of her classic footage. Another clip loaded up as she got ready to trim some stuff down, record some other introduction, and add some music. Snacking on her peanut butter crackers and apple, Twilight found herself ruminating about yet the next segment, where she answered a question about wireless Internet for Rainbow Dash. Much as Dashie was into sports and the more extreme things in life, the world of computer literacy was not something to fascinate her, relegating it to the eggheads of the world. With her rainbow-colored hair and cyan skin, she was all for playing games and sports such as basketball, baseball, soccer, lacrosse, and even the occasional cross-country run. Not one to understand the fundamentals of computer coding, word processing, or applications of certain other programs, her failure to fulfill her computer literacy requirements with the rest of the class was among the very few things that mortified her. Many times, she would insist that she either have someone do computer-related assignments for her to such a point where she ran the risk of being held accountable for academic dishonesty, an often expellable offense. Twilight, being the egghead in the school along with the other Twilight, would have run the highest risk of being charged with handling Dashie's assignments, which were either simple essays or computer-aided drawing and painting assignments. Reflecting on the way Dashie started warming up to her intellect after she showed her how to properly use an e-mail client, Twilight went on about how her next segment was based in communications.

"Wireless Internet," she started. "Getting on the Internet was one thing when I was a little bitty pinkie, having to make sure that the phone line was clear for as long as you needed so you can download that ever-so-hot song on the Boomster. Now, here's another one about communications technologies."

"Here on Twilight Time, we get tons of questions that pound us for answers, and today's question comes from @20percentcoolr. She writes:"

Dear Twilight,
What is this Wi-Fi thing that everybody seems to have? And how does this work?

"@20percentcoolr, you bring up a very simple question. For the underinitiated, Wi-fi is short for 'Wireless Fidelity,' and is a name used to describe wireless local area networking technologies. We connect our phones and laptops to wireless networks with these technologies to receive resources such as access to the Internet or access to the school printers. Pursuant to IEEE 802.11, the driving force behind this is simply radio waves with frequencies usually anywhere from 2400 to 5000 megahertz, frequencies much higher than what analog TV, radio, and even cordless phones broadcast with. Even right now, I have my modem connected to a Wi-Fi router to provide Internet access to everyone in my house.

The only big drawbacks with Wi-Fi, naturally, include security, speed, and reliability. Seeing that we're dealing with radio waves, the network can be compromised by all sorts of interference from walls and pine trees to microwaves in use. Second, not only can routers be very unpredictable in their uptime, but data and information on an unsecured network can be much more easily compromised. Third, as opposed to a wired connection that can give you 100 megabits per second, sometimes you can only get a wireless network connection as fast as only 54, which can sometimes be a pain if you're into power usage. But, at any rate, the fact that we have these technologies means that we don't have to be stuck in one place to stay on the Internet, let alone on a workgroup."

Unbeknownst to her, a buzz on what was otherwise a silent phone came through, notifying her that someone was interested in what she had to say. Twilight made note of it right on the camera as it was rolling.

"Oh, and there's something coming in now from sugar_coat, who says:"

Dear Twilight,
This is some good stuff. Too bad I have to steal it for my presentation tomorrow.

Twilight cracked open a bottle of water to steady her heat as she watched through the next few minutes of footage, laughing at some of the jokes, puns, and mistakes along the way.

"Oh, Sugarcoat," remarked Twilight, "I will never forget when the teacher busted you for plagiarism. Honestly, I didn't think people actually watched my show."

Bleach for your Pool

Another hour went by as Twilight broke for her snack. Today, it was a box of raisins and a cup of yogurt while she applied fades, wipes, and 3D effects to her video. She also sat to program the chapters in her DVD for the first part of her compilation. Video editing programs, as she found, are quite fun to work with, especially when the magic behind the TV shows she would watch came to be demystified. As her wireless Internet segment ended, she decided to make that the start of the second chapter. A few clicks and drags set where the video goes when you hit the next button on her media player. With that minutia fulfilled, Twilight went to record a wraparound about her next segment, involving bleach.

"Bleach," she said. "There are very few disinfecting agents more powerful than sodium hypochlorite-based bleach. I can't remember the last time I washed anything without it or cleaned anything without it, such as my dishes or my bathroom. What many may not realize is that we use bleaches to disinfect our pools, especially to keep them free of germs and algae. I remember one time I went swimming and my eyes were burning like crazy, but right then, I realized that Indigo Zap "conveniently" had her pool treated right as they were inviting everyone to her house to swim, but here we go."

Her own segment ended, and she then faded her video into another clip, which talked about bleach and pool chlorination:

"So, with all of us recovering from Valentine's Day rather efficiently, our next Twilight Time question comes fittingly from @inzap, who writes:"

Dear Twilight,
I just came out of the pool and my eyes are burning like crazy. They just put some of those chlorine tablets in, too. What's going on, and why do they put these tablets in the pool every time I want to jump in?

"Well, @inzap, in the world of chemistry, we know of chlorine because of its antimicrobial qualities. In its natural state, chlorine is a halogen and a gas, but if you bind it to some other elements such as sodium and oxygen, you can deliver it to wherever you need it; in this case, we add it to our pools to sanitize and disinfect them."

As she talked, the video showed Twilight bringing a beaker filled with water that was dyed a medium green, a pipette, and a smaller beaker with standard liquid chlorine bleach.

"When chlorine is added to water, we get a reaction which leaves us with HOCl (hypochlorous acid) + HCl (hydrochloric acid). The hypochlorous acid is the active, killing form of chlorine; this is the acid bound to sodium that you find in liquid chlorine bleach for your pool or for your white clothes. The chlorine molecule or ion kills microorganisms and cells by disrupting the cell walls and destroying the inner enzymes, structures and processes, as could be illustrated here with this green water and this bleach. For all of you little kids out there, have an adult around when you do this, as this is really dangerous."

Right then, she proceeded to draw out some bleach into the pipette and drop it into the beaker with the dyed water. She stirred the mixture with a glass rod as the green dye appeared to break down and the water ran clearer.

"The hypochlorous molecule continues this slash & burn until it combines with a nitrogen or ammonia compound, becoming a chloramine, or it is broken down into its component atoms, becoming de-activated itself."

In the video, Twilight could be seen bringing the camera back into view so as to face the audience.

"Despite the antimicrobial action of chlorine, it is extremely toxic, and the alkaline binders can alkalize the water in your pool to unsafe levels. Symptoms of exposure include skin irritation, burning of the eyes, and breathing trouble where concentrations are heavy in the air. That is why you should handle chlorine products with extreme care; wear gloves when you're using them, avoid mixing with other chemicals, especially ammonia, and use with adequate ventilation. In case of exposure, wash the skin thoroughly, flush the eyes out with plenty of water if appropriate, get to as much fresh air as possible, and seek medical attention."

Watching the video, Twilight stopped right there so that she can add the title cards to overlay on the video. She felt that it would help her audience in keeping the message she had delivered. As soon as that finished, she let the video run to the end of the clip.

"You see? Here at Twilight Time, we love our viewers enough to give them safety tips for their everyday lives...and I hope that I talked someone else with a similar question out of bleaching their skin before they get hurt."

With that, the clip ended.

Twilight's next clip would involve how to connect to the Internet. She had seen many different ways to connect to the Information Superhighway over the years; Shining Armor using a dial-up connection to send a simple e-mail, Sci-Twi using a DSL line to download a video, and even Fluttershy downloading the most wonderful picture of dogs to her phone. She often thought about how far people came from the first telephone call, such that they were now able to make calls with audio and video to anyone halfway around the world. To her, it was still mind-blowing, despite the many hours she would not have to spend in the library looking at encyclopedias and other print materials.

Internet Connections! The Bloggers, The Tweeters, and Thee!

Internet Connections! The Bloggers, The Tweeters, and Thee!

Twilight the Scientific set a few more chapters in her video's timeline, marking off all the other points where the player jumps to when needed. She took a few minutes to revisit some of the documentation of her editing software, even learning how to place subtitles and closed captions for the hearing impaired.

"You know," she thought as she read about how to caption, "maybe I could have thrown in some captions. Make this a little more compatible for those who don't take off their headphones."

With her immediate thought, she realized that she could slow down the playback of the video in such a way where she could more actively transcribe what she had said. As she loaded the next clip into the timeline, she commanded the program to let her input subtitles and ran the playback. Hitherto, she had a little bit of other work to do.

"Internet connections," she began, "How many ways did we come up to connecting to this Internet thing in just the last few decades? I was only a little baby when we used a phone line, and now we're using Ethernet cords without tying up our phone calls at really high speeds. I found myself revisiting the history of Internet connection technologies on the suggestion of someone who wrote in to Twilight Time and I went off to the computer teacher to verify what I was saying. Mind you that he said that he remembers life before that, having to read everything in print that can now be digitized for all the world to see. Anyway, this is the next segment:"

Her monologue ended as her archival footage began:

"And so, this week's Twilight Time comes to us from @therealdtiara. She says:

Dear Twilight,
I can't believe my mom had to cut our high-speed internet access. Is there any other way we can connect to the Internet and pick on blank flanks?

"Well, @therealdtiara," she continued, "the Internet we know today is just millions upon millions of computers, especially servers, and mobile devices, all interconnected together in one big cluster fest of friendship, but they don't necessarily all have to be high-speed connections. All you need is a protocol, an infrastructure, and some means to send and receive digital signals."

The video then turned to an array of devices from a bygone era: a green circuit board with phone line jacks, a gray box with a few green lights on it and some ventilation slits, and another black box with connections for an F-type coaxial cable typical of televisions.

"To begin with, as a matter of fact, not long ago, people would connect to the Internet using other technologies. What I have before you on camera are an external and internal dial-up modem respectively. Basically, a modem is any kind of device that can turn analog signals into digital ones, and vice-versa, and this is important for when you want to move data from one computer to the next."

"In this case," she resumed, pointing to two of the devices, "these dial-up modems let computers send and receive data by using the telephone lines underground and above your house. To access the internet, your internet service provider would give you an access number for your modem to dial, and along with your user name and password, you would have the modem use that number to get onto the network."

The video then went to the view of a whiteboard on which Twilight was writing some basic mathematics.

"The thing was that network connections with these were rather slow at best, in the neighborhood of 56.6 kilobits per second; do the math, and that's barely 7 kiloBYTES per second," she explained as she wrote with a black marker,

"That's practically nothing unless you're trying to move written text and some pictures. Also, nor could you use the phone to call anyone while the connection was active. If you wanted to use the modem to send a fax, that's also good."

"Internet access could also be achieved with what they call an ISDN line," she stated over a picture of another green circuit board, "These also rely on phone lines, but there are at least two channels at play here; a bearer channel for voice and data, and a delta channel for setup and configuration information. The way the channels are split allow for higher speeds, more into 128Kbps, over telephone lines. Naturally, you're going to pay very much for this kind of setup."

"Digital Subscriber Lines," she continued, "are a third phone-based connection with speeds as high as 3 megabits per second. For this, you need a special DSL modem and you can still have the phone line open to make phone calls. The thing about these is that as simple as they are to set up, they were also limited by how close you were to the central office for the telephone company. Both ISDN and DSL connections require you to be within a certain range of the central office, usually as wide as 3.4 miles; the further you were from it, the slower the connection. T1 and T3 are also phone-based and are usually used for businesses and have speeds of anywhere from 1.5 to 45 Mbps. However, they can handle as many as 24 simultaneous calls on a telephone."

As she continued, she showcased the black box with the coaxial connection.

"Now, there are connection technologies faster than the cable connection you're using now, notably fiber. This relies on fiber optics to transmit data and you can get speeds as fast as 1 gigabit per second, way more than what I'm using to broadcast the show, but I can demonstrate that in a later show."

Then, she presented the smartphone she had to the camera, explaining wireless Internet connections.

"Finally, you have Internet connections that are entirely wireless. 1G, 2G, EDGE, and 4G LTE are used among cellular phones and rely on the cellular phone infrastructure. You also have satellite internet connections that are available all over the world via satellite. You'll likely see these on cruise ships and aircraft, but because of how far the data has to travel, it comes off being too slow for someone to use in a power setting."

As the video wound up, Twilight giggled as she was remembering the sarcasm that was her last thought about cyberbullying.

"Oh, and about picking on blank flanks on the Internet, you're so mature for that. You really are. I surely wish I can act my age."

Twilight wound up that segment by placing a chapter marker on the timeline, and she typed at about 45 words per minute to complete the transcription of her speech. She was now starting to understand the fruits of her labor as she even had questions coming into her phone in real time, even asking about how they measure the spiciness of chili peppers.

Author's Note

In real life, I have a Bachelor's in information technology, and I figured that it would be a public service to explain certain Internet connection technologies as they applied to us over just the last 30 years alone.

Now You're Cooking With Gas! Smoky Gas!

Now You're Cooking With Gas! Smoky Gas!

Sci-Twi was going through the food questions that were asked when she thought about when Sweetie Belle cooked breakfast for her that one time recently. She was reflecting on an incident when she went to an amusement park with the rest of the Canterlot High gang for an impromptu trip.

While they were having a blast, eating turkey legs, meeting walk-around characters such as Wilhelm the Wombat, enjoying the nauseating F-Twelve 3D Experience sponsored by Kellsher Pharmaceuticals, and sitting in on a taping of Splatfest Live, she had been hearing distressing rumors that the turkey legs were actually emu. A forensic science project eventually inspired Twilight to save specimens of the alleged emu meat for DNA testing, wherein she applied her understanding of polymerase chain reactions to prove once and for all that the meat served at the park was bona fide turkey.

"Well," Twilight began as she recorded her wraparound, "this one is notable. Turkey legs and how we smoke them. I remember one time when we went to an amusement park and I had heard that the turkey legs they had were made with emu. Of course, that wouldn't have been a bad idea, but the rumor was enough to inspire a science experiment where I applied DNA profiling techniques. The results of which were published in the school newspaper and inadvertently inspired 19 annual passholder sales. So now we go to this one:"

"Another food question comes to us on Twilight Time, from @lyra.hstrings, who says:"

Dear Twilight,
@sweetiebons and I were at an amusement park in the eighth grade, we were on this ride, having a blast, and then we got this big turkey leg. So I snatched it, and wondered how they cook them up.

"Well, I've been to amusement parks a few times to know that they cook them with what is called low-temperature cooking; smoking, to be exact." She said while turning the camera to get herself into focus. "Low-temperature cooking involves cooking with heat practically at or below the boiling point of water. Just as we cook most meats to an internal temperature of at least 160 degrees, the same level of doneness can be achieved with lower heat over a longer period of time, even with certain tenderizing and flavoring effects."

Right then, the shot changed so that she was able to project pictures of meat smokers and ovens typical of standard kitchens.

"We are still cooking the meat in such a way where the meat is tender, the germs and microbes are killed off, and the flavors are all infused. Low-temperature cooking, however, usually will yield a more flavorful product because there was time for the meat to absorb the essences, especially of the wood chips that are burned or steamed to smoke the meat. So, for example, instead of baking chicken in an oven at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for about an hour, said chicken can also be cooked in a meat smoker at 250 degrees for about 4-5 hours and will still be cooked enough to be edible."

"Methods of slow cooking," she continued, "are not all that removed from other conventional methods. Just as you have smokers, you can also use a specially-designed slow-cooker, sit the food on a grill at equally low heat, poach your food over several days in a water bath under vacuum seal, or even dig yourself a pit and roast the beast in its entirety like how people have for centuries. It's all a matter of checking that turkey every so often so that it would be safe and delicious...and so bony. Personally, I always wondered why they can't do the same with emu or ostrich. But, everyone likes turkey."

A Personal Question, Featuring Octavia Melody

Among the many videos she incorporated into her Best of Twilight Time, this one naturally did not make it. Originally, she intended this to be a response to a question that someone asked some days after the incident during the Friendship Games where the realities between her world and Equestria at large were being merged due to the misuse of the magic she gathered. As she played around in her video editor, she reflected on this video, which was hard for her to come to terms with for a time:

"Okay, so for lack of questions, we get this particular peculiar question from @sunbrst, which goes:

Dear Twilight,
Not too long ago, I heard about an incident where these portals to a land called Equestria were opened around town, thanks to you sapping magic from these other girls at Canterlot High School. Was that cool or what?

"Well, I don't think anyone's ever asked me about it, but here is my position on that. You see, the incident at Canterlot High School was a mistake. I did not realize that in my efforts to understand magic, I would be putting the world in danger. In my opinion, I love science, and I love understanding everything in the universe, but there are limits to how far I truly want to go with trying to understand it. As someone decent, you don't have to do something or learn something if the way by which you have to learn it is going to endanger yourself or the lives of others. Search deep inside you and think when you want to try something. Is it really worth hurting someone to understand why something is? That's why even in science, you have ethical experiments and unethical experiments. It's one thing to understand how someone contracts an infection, but it is another thing to conduct an experiment that could potentially kill or permanently disable your colleague."

With the whole video playing out, she then turned her attention to a second video clip that featured accomplished cellist, Octavia Melody. Octavia had performed recitals, parties, and weddings, even during her short time at Crystal Prep. What most did not realize about her was that her parents were very active in the musics and the arts as members of the local philharmonic orchestra. Active as they were, they did not truly understand most modern music, such that it would occasionally disrupt the blooming friendship between her and Vinyl Scratch, whose parents were active as electronic synth musicians making an honest dollar from every time their tracks were used in a commercial on TV or at a museum in town. The second clip played as such, introducing Octavia to the rest of the Internet:

"Well," said Twilight, "we're starting another segment here on Twilight Time called Class Notes, where we're also going to be talking about music and music theory. As such, my first question this show comes in from @lylyrica, who asks:

Dear Twilight,
Is it true that Antonio Vivaldi taught at a girls' school?

"Well, that sounds like another story for my friend, Octavia Melody."

As such, Octavia came into view.

"Hello, there," she began, "and thanks, Twilight, for having me in your basement today to explain this question. Today's class note is inspired by the red-headed virtuoso of the Baroque viol who is Antonio Lucio Vivaldi. My second-grade recital included one of his pieces, actually."

When she began speaking of what she knew about her idol, Twilight was intrigued as well, for music and music theory were not two things that naturally came to her.

"To answer that, it would be a yes and no. Starting in 1703, even while he was in ministry as an ordained priest, he was the violin master at the Ospedale della Pietà, a convent and orphanage in Venice, teaching music and violin to the girls while the boys learned trades. His curriculum included composing pieces, including many of his masterworks, especially for the students to perform as they became part of the Ospedale's orchestra and choir."

"People knew of his prowess throughout Italy and Europe at large, even catching the attention of Bach who came after him and many others who valued his sacred vocal music, operas, and other such pieces coming into the end years of the Baroque period. Yes, it is kind of strange when you have a noted member of the profession teaching you the basics, isn't it?"

Leavening Agents and Seasoning Pans

For her last edit for this evening, Twilight figured that she could order a specialty sandwich from Salami's Place, the Untitled--bean sprouts and green vegetables on a potato roll, complemented by tomatoes and your choice of mutton, ham, chicken, or turkey with provolone cheese. Tonight, Twilight did not care much to move around, and nor did Shining or her parents object to it, as they put in orders of similar sandwiches to offset the fact that they already sent Muffins to deliver.

It should be worth noting that with her skin of gray, blond hair, and sweet disposition, Muffins had a driver's license and actually made a decent amount of change on the side running food deliveries for small restaurants and pizza parlors. Error-prone and accident-prone as she appeared, she was not known to get into any accidents in the short time she had her license. Moreover, everyone always loved the fact that she smelled like blueberry muffins, often to the desire of some of the boys who would bow to her and kiss her hand when they approached her.

As Twilight nibbled away at the Untitled she had with extra crunchy bean sprouts and peppery turkey breast, she turned her attention to the free chocolate chip cookie they threw in because of a promotion they were running. Muffins then came to her mind, as she recorded her monologue:

"Cookies, cakes, muffins, and other sweet baked stuff. There's this particular girl in my neighborhood that people just love, especially because she always smelled like muffins, blueberry, chocolate, bran, and otherwise. She proposed this question to me one morning when I was in calculus class."

Ending her monologue, she inserted the clip before a segment she recorded about leavening agents and their uses in cooking that went like this:

"Finally, we're back with more Twilight Time. Our question this week comes in from @d3rpmuffins. She says:"

Dear Twilight,
I love muffins, but why do some recipes use yeast and others use something like baking powder?

"Well, derpmuffins (I hope that was not what you wanted me to pronounce), baking powder and yeast are used in baking as leavening agents. A leavening agent is a substance that introduces gases into an otherwise rigid dough or batter, such that a much lighter, more porous structure in what you're baking."

As she was listening to the video, Twilight searched on the Internet for images of baking soda, baking powder, and other leaveners to improve the playback. In addition, she also found pictures of Pinkie Pie's bright pink birthday cupcakes and cookies that she thought were cute.

"Leavening by chemical means includes the use of baking soda or baking powder, which is just baking soda with dry acids in them. They release carbon dioxide gases which become part of the mixture as bubbles. Sometimes, when there is already enough acid in the mixture from other ingredients, you could get away with just the baking soda, but to protect flavors and colors, you could use baking powder where there is almost no acid at all. You'll see this a lot in your favorite cakes, cupcakes, cookies, and muffins."

"If you're not using chemical leaveners, you can achieve the same light and porous baked goods with mechanical and physical leavening. You can whip the mixture to force air bubbles into it, like what happens with whipping egg whites for angel food cake and meringues. You can even rely on steam within the mixture to leaven it, like what happens in puff pastry."

"In a less-related method, you can always use yeast to leaven your baked goods. Yeast gives you the air you want in your breads and pizza doughs by feeding on the sugars within the mixture and producing carbon dioxide bubbles, thus expanding and lightening it."

With that, Twilight recorded what was probably her last food-related question, but then there was another clip she came across that she recorded late in the Spring when she met Saffron Masala and her father. After winning the coveted Street Cuisinier championship as featured on the TV show, Saffron's father had recently opened a restaurant in town showcasing cuisine typical of the Middle East and India; jasmine rice and aromatic, spicy curry included. She met with Rarity and Pinkie Pie at one point in time as they were torn over the direction of the restaurant, but thankfully, things had turned around to where their restaurant was the talk of Thursday school lunches. She once took a question from her about what it was to season a pan, as it went like this:

"Well, I know it's graduation season, and I'm about to graduate from Canterlot High myself next year, but today's Twilight Time question is as follows, coming from @saffronm45:

Dear Twilight,
My father and I are seasoning all the pots and pans that we use. What is this all about?

"Oh. This is one of those things in the realm of metallurgy and cooking. Ever since people learned how to cast iron, we have been cooking with cast iron implements for thousands of years, from pots and pans to dutch ovens and griddles. When you season your cookware, usually cast-iron, you are basically coating it with oils and fats and then baking it to give the surface a rust-resistant, non-stick protective coat.
Some cookware comes pre-seasoned from the factory for this same reason, but still has to be re-seasoned at least once a year."

"However, if you cook a lot, especially with acids, you'll have to season your cookware constantly to prevent rust and other such damage.
As for enamel-coated cast iron pans, the enamel coating is usually so protective that you do not need to season them.
Actually, that reminds me. Someone was asking me to buy their rice and curry."

And with that, Twilight inserted images into the video timeline, including those of a birthday cupcake Pinkie Pie received one year, lemon meringues that Mr. and Mrs. Cake made for Twilight's middle school graduation party, and even images of Italian-style bread typical of her sandwich. She figured that after this, it was time to quit. It had been two days since she started compiling everything and she still had a tutoring session with Fluttershy wherein she would be helping her with understanding anatomy and physiology--something that she would have an issue with for the subject of dissecting eyes and hearts.

Author's Note

You name it.

Laundry Symbols

As she inserted the video clip from the class note in this third chapter of her DVD, Twilight was listening to an episode of Pat-Rats she had running as a background process on her computer, more specifically an episode where Patricia and Jimmy found themselves investigating the inside of a space shuttle and almost got sent to the moon. She stopped the playback on the episode to focus on the next segment to her video.

"We always have to look our best," began Twilight. "Often, this means taking care of our clothes and making sure we know how to wash them properly. So Rarity came down to help me explain."

Her recording was quickly inserted and was soon followed with another segment from Twilight Time.

"Well, it's nice to be back with more Twilight Time. Our question today comes from @quibbl3r, and he says:"

"Dear Twilight,
I keep seeing these funny symbols on all my clothes. Are they some sort of fancy code that can be read by the new world order or something?"

"Well, @quibbl3r, this sounds more like a fashion and home economics question. Thankfully, today, I have Rarity down here to help me with this while she gets a mustard stain out of this carpet bag. I see them all the time on the tags of my shirts and pants, too, but I think one of my good friends, Rarity, can explain this rather...gladly. Right darling?"

"Why sure, Twilight." said Rarity coming into frame.

"Well, quibbl3r, darling, the symbols are actually shorthand laundry instructions. These are so that you and anyone else who washes your clothes so early in the morning can understand the way they need to be cleaned. There are different symbols especially depending on what fabric it is and the state of the colors on the garment."

As she talked, Rarity showed her a laundry tag showcasing a sign depicting a hand in a bucket of water.

"You see this graphic with the hand in the bucket? That means you have to hand-wash it, not machine wash it."

She also pointed to a triangle on the same tag as she explained her thesis about what laundry symbols are.

"See this triangle and two bars? Well, this means that this wonderful graphic tee with a design from my sister's favorite show, Pat-Rats can be bleached, but only with non-chlorine bleach if it's that badly stained. This usually means using color-safe bleach, especially based on peroxide. You also see this square and circle with the dot? It means that you dry it at low heat, as is typical of knit garments.
Third, see this tag darling with the bucket and lines underneath? that means you can machine wash this either on the gentle or delicate setting, whatever your washing machine calls it."

Rarity also brought up to frame a few other unconventional fabrics to explain the subject of dry cleaning, a process by which clothes are cleaned without the use of actual water.

"Sometimes, on the trickiest of garments, a simple ring will tell you that you can only dry clean them, as in they have to be cleaned with waterless solvents such as perchlor-- what's this word?" Rarity stumbled.

"Perchloroethylene? PERC?" corrected Twiilght.

"Right, that, to maintain their integrity," she continued. "This is why there are professional dry cleaning shops all around town that do this, such as with velvets, silks, acetates, wools, and other super-delicate fabrics."

Rarity put the fabrics down as she went on her very own monologue about the world of laundry.

"If you're wondering where I get all this information, darling, I was watching "Full Acres" when I was smaller, and then Sweetie Belle asked me to wash her favorite dress that she was going to wear for the formal. She asked me about what those symbols mean, but I knew no better. So, I just tossed it into the machine, threw some bleach on it to get it all really clean, but that dress was so battered and faded that it was a disaster. I lost five allowances just to replace it. And then, I found myself at the laundromat one day and noticed a quick reference sheet for most of the symbols. I realized that all garments need to be treated a certain way, especially depending on whether they are organic and/or synthetic materials, and how colored they are. But anyway, that's a nice tip for life and life choices. I'll be here all this week, darlings, answering your fashion-related questions...or even longer if this stain doesn't come out."

Twilight was satisfied with the fact that this particular segment was one of the more popular ones, especially with the mentions of the Pat-Rats show that ran well into her middle school years.

Author's Note

I want to give a special thanks to my friend Reynaldo for helping me write this segment when it was originally posted.

Minimum Octane Ratings

Twilight had already spent about two hours recutting, remixing, and re-recording some of the footage she had left from when her computer's hard drive was nearly obliterated in a citywide hack. While that was going on, the phone she had vibrated and chirped, notifying her that her brother, Shining Armor, had replied to a message sent via the Internet:

@shiniearmor replied:

Giddy up Derby Racers! We'll be right back after these messages!

Seeing what Shining had seen, it was interesting, sometimes to an embarrassing degree, that he was very big on things that even predated him at least twenty years, from older comic books to obscure animated movies and video games. One day, he binge-watched a complete series on DVD of an old cartoon called The High-Octane Adventures of Derby Racer. Based on the comic books of the video game, the show centered around an adventurous race car driver and his quest to be the greatest racer in Derby County while being a hero and a gentleman; some episodes would even feature gangsters and saboteurs who wanted to see his end. Other days, he would be either playing a video game from the earlier days of video gaming, LAN partying with his friends as they played Transit Mogul, or playing tabletop games such as The Founders of Canterlot, Ogres and Oubliettes, or Hocuspocus: The Get-Together.

Naturally, she had this little narration to go with this little segment about octane ratings:

"Well, that was my brother, talking about how awesome Derby Racer is. My brother would watch it all the time when I wasn't watching Shuppet Babes during the day. Sometimes, like him, he would run fast about the house saying 'I got boost power!' But anyway, he actually figured out how to get his car to do that, and this was the segment I recorded in honor of his favorite childhood show:"

"And so, this morning, Twilight Time comes to you with this question from @Crackle909. I was supposed to meet Rainbow Dash, but she had a...driving lesson."

Dear Twilight,
I just started driving and got my license. What's up with those three grades of gasoline at gas stations when you can always get the lowest octane-rated gas the cheapest?

"Yes. I was supposed to have a driving lesson today, too, but here's the deal. Those three grades of gasoline are usually separated by what is called a minimum octane rating. These ratings are a means by which we express the performance of internal combustion fuels.
In an internal combustion engine, fuel and air are mixed together and then ignited under high pressure by spark plugs in the combustion chambers.

To get the maximum amount of energy out of the fuel, the fuel-air mixture has to resist detonation as much as it can and get compressed as much as it can, otherwise we get mistimed and/or premature detonations in the engine, otherwise called engine knocks. The presence of certain chemicals such as hydrocarbons, octanes, and methanes improve the gasoline's resistance to ignition so as to allow for the needed compression for the engine to function properly.

Around here, these ratings are expressed as an average between two tests, one where the gas is used in a standard motor, and another where the fuel-air mixture is preheated and the engine is revving faster; a much more practical test to see how much it can take before you get engine knocks that can damage your engine severely. 87-rated gas is the cheapest fuel because it has so little of these chemicals that it burns rather easily, while 89 and 93-rated gas burn under much higher pressure and are actually more ideal for driving.

All engines can use the most basic regular gasoline, but high-performance engines like the one in Colonel Griffin's car on the show, F-Twelve: GT Legends of Loud Village and Derby's car on Derby Racer have to use fuel with the highest octane levels available because they have to compress the air so much to work properly. Sometimes, you have to add octane boosters just to assure this.
And now, if you excuse me, I have to help my brother, Shining Armor, with his nerd machine. He's installing new software in it that allows his radio to say that he's got boost power when he's doing over 55.

It should be worth noting that shortly after recording that segment, after helping Shining with his new firmware for his car, Twilight returned to the basement and immediately restarted her apparatus. With a single keystroke more, she was back to recording. This was one of the "bloopers" she hoped to avoid.

"And we're back with more Twilight Time," she repeated. "Today's question comes from @sc00tL00, who writes:"

Dear Twilight,
What chemicals would be good if we wanted to...improve our Filly Guide cookies and boost sales?

"You know, I always knew something was wrong with those things. Every time those things go on sale, there's a sudden increase in hyperactivity incidents. Plus, I knew something was wrong when my mouth was all in different colors...and Twilight Time will be right back after these messages."

Like that, Twilight reflected on the last Filly Guide sale of the year she recorded that video. She remembered reading in a teachers' bulletin that staff and faculty should be entirely aware of any sudden abnormalities in attention span and spontaneity following the Filly Guide cookie sale as the school year continued after the winter. Apparently, rumors about the cookies being laced with excessive amounts of sugar and other additives proved true when two children had to be hospitalized for diabetic attacks. She also remembered Lemon Zest and Sugar Coat in a similar situation when they were younger. She had taken that abrupt commercial break back then to reflect on how she had to hear those sirens and see the paramedics coming for them during a math quiz late in the afternoon when they fainted. Thankfully, they made it out of hospital safely and Sugarcoat realized that she was diabetic.

Author's Note

If you think too hard, Derby Racer was an afterthought from watching the "Cart Before the Ponies" episode, as was the idea for Colonel Griffin.

Video Game Music with Time Signatures, Featuring Octavia

Sci-Twi had made a pretty decent amount of progress. Thus far, she had been looking at about three chapters filled with some of her best Twilight Time questions and was not going to let three nights of work in the unlit basement get to her. The last of her segments included Octavia Melody as she talked about music, a subject she never really dabbled in.

"We were actually talking about music one day with Octavia Melody before she went to music camp for the summer," she started. "What she had to say about my tastes in listening to bubblegum music. Personally, I think it is a little campy, albeit only after a certain age, but it's a celebration of what it is to be a teenybopper. Plus, she threw out some information about music theory that we never think about, as we seen in this next clip:"

"Here on Twilight Time, we're having another Class Note before Octavia goes away for music camp. And today, Octy, @theflashsentry asks:"

Dear Twilight,
I just heard the word bubblegum when people talk about music. What is that?

As the video clip changed focus and she wrote about the quoted question, Octavia, in her gray skin, black hair, and charming accent helped to explain what was going on.

"Well, I hear it from time to time, but bubblegum pop music is a genre within popular music where upbeat sounds and somewhat campy lyrics are typical. Primarily, this is the kind of music that you'll find is geared towards preteens and teenagers. Their melodies are usually very catchy, their beats somewhat danceable, and their messages often sounding innocent, happy, silly, and/or romantic. Think the Back Alley Boys, One Other Inflection, and the like. In reality, songs like those are such that they are cash-grabs engineered by otherwise forgettable acts, especially when the songs and associated acts would be incorporated into larger media franchises, which may also include movies, games, and silly cartoons. In a related note, you also have bubblegum dance music which is just as campy and upbeat, but is actually quite enjoyable in the Eastern Hemisphere such as in Japan and Denmark. Think of every other song in that cheesy Dance Dance Revolution game that Lyra and Bon Bon were just playing....I knew that game is still evil."

Music played over the end of the clip and introduced the second clip she had. Mommymash, according to Octavia and the other kids in the neighborhood, was actually Button Mash's mom. When she isn't being a loving mother to her well-meaning but psychologically coiled son, she enjoyed video games such as Pickaxe Warrior and Neighborwatch just as much as he does. Being older, however, it was not uncommon to find humor in the games' other elements such as the music or the artwork involved.

"Hello, and welcome, welcome, welcome to a late night edition of Twilight Time. And Octavia is here today with a class note. My question tonight is from @mommymash, and she writes:"

Dear Twilight,
I like listening to music from video games. Of all the video game music I listen to with my son, there's this one particular theme belonging to Haygat from the game Highway Rumbler. Why does it sound like the beats in each measure don't add up?

Octavia began again, explaining the subject of the unconventional time signature.

"Hmm. You know, it's funny that I was trying to figure that out, too, but it's actually because the time signature is a very unconventional one. I analyzed a MIDI file recently and it turns out that the song was written in 11/8 time; that is to say that there are 11 eighth notes in each measure.

You see, The time signature defines how many beats and what beat are in each measure. The top number tells how many beats per measure while the bottom number defines 1 beat. For example, 4/4 time means that there are 4 beats per measure based on quarter notes; conveniently, you can read the time signature as 4 quarter notes per measure.

Most music, whether it be something modern or antiquated, tends to be written in regular time, usually having 2, 3, or the very usual 4 beats per measure. Music in 2-beat time (e.g. 2/4) will often come off as having cut time or polka time, like what you'd hear in Pretto's theme. while 4-beat time (e.g. 4/4) would sound like Chun Ki's theme. While not related to the game, 3-beat time (e.g. 3/4 time) is often called waltz time, like what you'd hear in a lot of underwater themes composed for Neightendo games by Cozy Contrabass. Ever notice that almost every time you go into the water?

Yoke-o Shimomura, however, had to shake things up when she did the themes for Haygat. She used what is often called an odd or irregular time signature, and can be something as irregular as 5/4, 9/8, 7/4, or even 11/8 time. It's hard to notice, but it is 11 beats to each measure, and then it changes signatures to change over to a bridge and then back again. You don't often hear those time signatures, especially because they're very tricky to use. I guess that's what adds to Haygat being difficult in the game, in addition to him being so tall."

With that clip playing, Twilight was heading into the home stretch of her project. She was now hoping to present her DVD to people around town: people in hospitals, people at daycare centers, and even people at medical offices.

Cat Litter

One of the few other questions she incorporated that did not involve food this time was a question about household objects. The idea of cat litter almost never arose to Twilight, except in cases where she was stuck watching Rarity's cat, Opalescence, in recent days. Reading at the library also revealed to her recently that with its ability to absorb liquids and odors, cat litter might have uses beyond the litter box. Her response to such a question went as followed:

"It's funny how we never think about cat litter having more uses than just the litter box. If you think about the fact that it's primarily made of diatomaceous earth and baking soda most of the time, you can take advantage of its absorbency and deodorization and use it in more situations. I've recently seen my friend, Big Macintosh, use it to sop up grease and chemical spills that would otherwise make their way into the sewer system undesirably. But anyway, here's my next Twilight Time."

"Sorry for the Twilight Time hiatus as of last Thursday, but I'm back, and I'm still in person. Today's question comes in from @flitter.sitter and she says:"

Dear Twilight,
I accidentally spilled my juice into my cat's litter box. How does that cat litter actually clump?

"Well, I wouldn't know too much about cats, but cat litter is a different story," started Twilight as she presented a large white and green bag of cat litter.

"For at least the last thirty years, most commercial cat litter has been made with clay and diatomaceous earth."

As she explained, her lavender hand reached into the bulky paper bag and extracted mostly grayed gravels. She showed how gritty the cat litter truly was, and even had a beaker filled with distilled water beside her for another experiment.

"Some of the most basic cat litters don't clump, but they still absorb water much better than the sand or dirt that a cat will use if given the chance."

She poured the beaker's contents upon two forms of cat litter to demonstrate how absorbent the both of them are nonetheless. On one side of the frame, the water only seemed to glide off the litter, while the litter on the other side absorbed it rather quickly and formed a mass upon itself.

"The clays and diatomaceous earth that make up these cat litters absorb liquids and expand in such a way where it makes cleanup that relatively easy. The clumping litters will usually have something like sodium bentonite in them as the most absorbent clay. However, because of this, you can't flush the mess all down the toilet; stuff that expands like that can do a real number on your plumbing."

Right then, Twilight reached for several other plastic bags of cat litter and presented them in frame. Though not as affordable, she figured that she should buy versions of cat litter that were either antiquated or specialized to educate her viewers about their options.

"If you think earthly cat litter is too much of a problem, especially if your pet has allergies or sensitivities to its ingredients, there are other alternatives. You have cat litter also based in plant material as biodegradable such as paper, corncobs, and wood, and even cat litter based in silica gel that's super absorbent, super odorless, and long-lasting in its absorbency and odor control."

As the video clip closed, Twilight was shown calling out to Rarity's cat, apparently following the formation of an otherwise painless switch of her own cat litter to something of her design.

"Wait...oh, Opal!"

Razor Bumps

The subject of medicine, anatomy, and physiology was naturally something Twilight wanted to study, but she was put off by the idea that those were all things that were happening within her body. Despite her inquiring mind, Twilight the Scientific was always grossed out by her own body and what it does.

As she was putting in some of the last clips of her anthology, she reflected on an incident regarding a lesson in regards to reproduction when she was in middle school. The underlying mechanisms of reproduction and certain infections freaked her out in class. Making matters worse, she stumbled across a journal left behind by Chrissy one day when she was dating Shining Armor. Out of curiosity, she cracked open the button and analyzed a few of the leaves. At first, she was intrigued about where babies came from, but as she went deeper into the dossier, the details of her most memorable moments with him made her throw up many times over a period of four days. The other girls, more immature than she seemed, laughed at her testimonies about Chrissy and Shining Armor, citing that it was all natural.

Days did come and go when she would hear stories about what became of Chrissy in the days since they broke up, everything from her being easy to her having birthed two children by the time she had thought to go to university, much less pursue a career in obstetrics and gynecology.

This question, being medicine-related and all, was of better help during the summer when everyone was getting their bodies right for the beach:

"And so that was an invigorating fight with a pair of scissors, some shaving cream, and a razor, but here we are on Twilight Time. Tonight's question comes to us all the way from San Brancisco, where @spitfire85 writes:"

Dear Twilight,
What are these painful, oozing bumps that show up after I shave, especially my bikini shave?

"Well," said Twilight, "After Shining Armor and I have had our mishaps with shaving over the years, I came to realize that those are what they call razor bumps. Razor bumps are actually a manifestation of post-shave irritation, usually arising from ingrown hairs."

Talking, she showed an image of hair growing back into the skin, depicting how painful and gross it is.

"As you shave, the hair continues to grow straight out of the hair follicle, but sometimes the hair will grow in such a way where it will dig itself back into the skin, causing redness, inflammation, and even infection; the pus that shows up in a razor bump is the result of an immune response."

"Primarily, razor bumps can be attributed to sensitive skin, along with poor shaving practices such as shaving against the grain and tugging and pulling the hair with bad razor blades. Another big factor includes how curly and rigid the hair is; people with coarser and/or curlier hair are more likely to have razor bumps and ingrown hairs simply because of the way the hair grows."

Presenting a set of black tweezers with some unpainted tips, along with a disposable razor that the uses for her legs, she went on to explain ways to deal with razor bumps.

"Dealing with it is usually another battle altogether. You can pluck the ingrown hair free so as to remove the inflammation source and allow the razor bumps to heal. You'll also have to avoid shaving until the bumps are entirely healed. Most importantly, shave your hair in the direction your hair grows, and make sure you use moisturizing lotions and antiseptics in your shaving to reduce the risk of infections."

"Yup. That bump on my leg was oozing a doozy yesterday...and they called that stuff soothing?"

Jelly and Jam, and the Final Cut

In time, Twilight's main timeline was completed. Four chapters. Transitions, title cards with better graphics. New remastering for the DVD. New wraparounds. She was ready to release this DVD to the rest of the school, as well as digitally on the Internet in one grand anthology. A labor of love had finally been completed. The final clip was as followed:

"Well, today's Twilight Time, I hope, will be very sweet. This is because it's coming from our good friend,@hughly. He writes:

Dear Twilight,
My mom put strawberry jam on my toast today instead of grape jelly. What's the whole difference anyway? Did the jellyfish population slow down?

"To be honest with you," Twilight said, "We always had grape jelly in our house for unknown reasons, but it's actually quite simple. And no, jellyfish don't make jelly. See, jams and jellies are a kind of food called preserves. Often times, they are made from sugar, with fruits and/or fruit juices, along with a substance called pectin, which naturally occurs in plants and fruit."

"The big difference with them is that jams use both the juice and flesh of the fruit. Think of the strawberry jam you had today, or even blueberry, raspberry, or blackcurrant jams that you might also see. To activate the pectin, the fruit and sugars are cooked according to recipe; this often requires boiling until it starts to thicken. That's why they appear more opaque and come off as heartier than jellies; as a matter of fact, you might see jam referred to as preserves from time to time."

"Jellies, however, are more basic than jams in that they only use the juice. Think about how you have grape juice, apple juice, and cranberry juice that make your favorite jellies, which may then appear with your peanut butter. The pectin, though added more for lack of actual fruit flesh, is still very integral, as its crosslinking on a molecular level provides it the structure and rigidity it needs to make it into jelly, as it would in jam."

The record button for the camera came on at least one last time, albeit to record her ending.

"Well, it's been a real fun time compiling this amazing collection of fun and educational video clips for you, me, and my friends. In my doing this show in this short amount of time, not only did I feel a sense of accomplishment and a sense of giving back, but I also found myself learning a thing or two about science in everyday life."

She continued as tears welled up in her eyes behind her glasses.

"When I started this, I started this as a simple project in media production. I never thought that so many people would write to me about their questions about everyday life. Some days, I would get as many as forty questions in one day as things happened: about the body, about household cleaning supplies, about math problems, and even stuff as remotely related as music from video games. Personally, I love answering all your amazing questions. Even though I am not at Crystal Prep anymore, and even though we may not have been the best of friends, I just want the other Shadowbolts out there that you are still people to me: Lemon Zest, Sugarcoat, Indigo Zap, Sour Sweet, and Sunny Flare, I hate to admit it, but I miss you girls. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Sunset Shimmer, Fluttershy, Rarity, thanks for being my friends. All of you out there, too, thanks for all the questions and please keep them coming."

With her final clip, the file was saved for the twelfth and final time. With all the settings verified, she then finally commanded the program to render her file in the popular MP4 format. It took about an hour to render, but this third night finally had her eating dinner with Shining Armor, a simple Cobb salad colored with tomatoes, spinach, and lettuce and made even more delectable with turkey bacon and chopped egg whites. As she inserted the DVD she had into her computer, she moved to command the program to render the whole video to the disc--chapters, captions, and all. This process did not take as long, but there was still time needed to burn the disc itself.

Her labors completed once and for all, she went from the stuffy and lesser-lit basement to her eggshell-colored bedroom which was outfitted with telescopes, microscopes, other college entrance exam preparation books, a small study table, and a radio off to the further wall. Drained and exhausted from all the work she did over three nights following some even more rigorous homework, she collapsed on a cyan quilt upon her bed, catching a glimpse of a poster she had of Tabitha Rita Ulfman from the 3JB (3D Joy Boy) game, Palaciorida: Harmonious Dissolution, as her eyes closed.

Canterlot High School woke up to The Best of Twilight Sparkle's Twilight Time. It should be worth noting that everyone was able to identify with all the questions that came in. Everyone between Crystal Prep and Canterlot High had all sorts of things to say, including new questions. Even this one came in from @surprise2010 (Pinkie Pie), who asked a question for the show about why bubbles are always round:

I remember watching the jelly episode of Twilight Time! I was watching it when my hand was in ice because I thought jelly came from jellyfish. I also learned another important thing: peanut butter and jellyfish are painful and gross!

She even got her share of disputed hate mail, especially from Sugarcoat, who wrote:

Maybe you need to consider a career in being a loser. Your brother watches Derby Racer and you still watch Pat-Rats.

To interesting mixed, yet positive reviews, Twilight Sparkle continued with her Twilight Time segments and was even commended by local day cares and hospitals for providing something for the children to watch when they were in need of educational material. Gone was Twilight Sparkle the Loser, but now was Twilight Sparkle the Scientific and Fun!

Author's Note

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for following along with me as I compiled this amazing collection. The weekly segments were truly a labor of love with me as I paid tribute to the TV shows in my childhood that inspired me to learn some stuff!

Stay tuned! There may be some more Twilight Time when she goes live on location!

Objects in the Mirror are Closer than they Appear

In a basement filled with fluorescent white light, a new and somewhat-innocuous parabolic lens sat well inside a plastic frame, its contents including a motherboard connecting it to a computer below its plastic table. The cool fall also hosted a lavender hand covered by the sleeve of a white lab coat adjusted knobs and buttons on a fan-enabled dehumidifier behind the black case of her computer to aid her breathing, despite the mountains of dank, older books and old schoolwork that were mostly recycled at this particular moment. With her computer glowing green, operating at optimal performance, and the record button waiting to be pressed on the program on her screen, her shot included the props laid out before the camera, her phone connected by a matted wire to the front of her machine, and the basement as clean as she could get it for her dealings in the sciences. Scientist Twilight Sparkle of Canterlot High School welcomed her prospective viewers to Twilight Sparkle’s Twilight Time. Filling the screen was a 3D rendering of her logo that she designed with an art student at school, complete with a twirling six-pointed star that served as the dots of the “I” in Twilight, accompanied by a song from a not-so-obscure video game. It was from another video game, but far as anyone knew, no one really cared about the state of video game music copyrights.

"Hello, everyone," Twilight said, "and welcome to the very best of Twilight Sparkle's Twilight Time. Over the next hour or so, we will be watching some of my favorite questions and answers over the last year. It's been a real fun year, especially with what happened during the Friendship Games and the Camp Everfree field trip, and I thought to combine all the fun stuff that we learned into this DVD for your viewing pleasure. Sit back, relax, and crack open a Lab-Rat Energy Drink."

As she said the latter, Twilight picked up a small soda can labeled "Lab-Rat Energy Drink" with a picture of a rat in a lab coat.

"Yep, Lab-Rat Energy Drink. With natural ingredients, low sugar, and 8 vitamins and minerals for the big thinker, it's student-tested and test-approved."

As soon as she finished recording her introduction, the stop button was pressed. With a few clicks and keystrokes, the video she recorded was cut, spliced, and incorporated into a video editing program. Beside her was a blank DVD-R ready to burn, but that was for later in the day. The transition she used for after the introduction wiped the video to older footage that she had on the Internet for several months. And it went as so:

"For today's question on Twilight Time," Twilight said, "we'll turn to @sunshimr, who says:"

Dear Twilight,

It's my first time driving a car, but I've noticed that the passenger side mirror always says that the objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Is that some sort of a joke or is it a natural flaw? It doesn't look like they're any closer to me.

"Well, in reality, it's neither. Those mirrors are mirrors nonetheless. The rearview and driver-side mirrors are both planar, they're completely flat and you can look at things in them as they appear," Twilight explained.

"The passenger-side mirror, however, is not. That mirror is actually what is called convex; it's bent outward so as to give you a broader view of what's there. Looking into a convex mirror, you usually see objects in the mirror as if they are far away, when in reality, the reflection is coming in from much closer, as we'll demonstrate with this laser and set of mirrors..."

Soon as she was able to verify that the video was exactly as she needed it, cuts and all, she moved on to the next archival footage.

Author's Note

This particular fanfiction is based on a series of monologues that I wrote over the course of a year. Expect numerous one-off references to older movies, games, and television; questions about everyday science, and heartwarming backstory as Sci-Twi goes through her amazing videos and prepares them for distribution through her new friends.