Clad in your baggy, but functional, clothes, you set out with determination. You had a whole day with nothing being forced on you. You were a free man, temporarily. You had no intention of letting it go to waste.

A guard noticed you striding so purposefully and lowered his spear to bar your passage. "Stud, where are you going?"

He didn't sound like he wanted to stop you. There was curiosity in that tone, so you figured there was no harm in being truthful. You tell him your plans to visit the training yard for a workout and hoped to find a pony skilled in magic and willing to help teach it.

The guard glanced up at your head, where no horn resided. "I'm not sure how they could help you, but let's get you to the training field if that's what you'd like. Follow me." He raised the spear and stowed it at his side and began trotting along ahead of you. "I will have to inform them to be careful, if they don't already know."

Along the way he pointed to a tall double door to the left. "You will want to stop there, later. That is where one might find teachers from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns." A brow raised as he went past it. "Even if you aren't a unicorn, or gifted, sir."

Clearly you were gifted in some ways, but as a unicorn? You couldn't argue that exactly.

He stepped through a doorway out into the warm sun where other guards were busy doing drills, sparring, and otherwise trying to be ready for action. A lot of that activity died when you emerged to join them.

One guard looked to yours. "Why is the Stud here? None of us are looking for foals." The comment drew snickers and guffaws from many of the other guards.

Another guard nudged one beside him. "Maybe you'd like his services."

The nudged guard colored swiftly in his cheeks. "I'd never consider it!" he piped defensively as his tail slapped down.

That wasn't what you wanted, and not why you came. You said as much and declared your intent to work with them.

One approached you with dark fur and sharp horn. "That's very bold, Stud. Have you had field practice wherever you're from?" He looked you up and down a moment. "We'll take it slow, see what you're made of."

You asked him for his name.

"Get past the first stage and I'll answer that." He smiled. "Get past the second and I'll ask what yours is besides Stud." He turned and pointed a hoof at a row of tires laid out. "Let's start with a little coordination training. Run through those, make sure to get your hooves in each one. Skip one, do it all over again. Nice and simple."

As obstacle courses went, it didn't look very complicated at all. Sure you were a bit slow, but you felt confident you could handle that little thing. You stepped up to the start of the tires. All the guards were watching you, whispering among themselves.

Slow and steady, or so you assured yourself. It wasn't a race, so why treat it like one? You put one foot in and smoothly hopped to the next with the other, back and forth and back and forth. It wasn't the fastest thing, but you didn't fall flat on your face either. You had a little huff in your breath at the end, but you had handled it.

The guard that had given the task to you nodded. "Good. If you had run through it like a mad stallion, I would've sent you back inside." He raised a hoof to direct at himself. "I'm Captain Thunder Step. Nice to meet you, Stud. So, you're what Celestia's replacing us stallions with?"

The other guards made some soft grumbles, some snickers, some less amused.

Thunder stepped up to you. "We'll see if you're worth all the fuss." He pointed to a rope. "Next up, rope climbing. You look a little like a monkey of some sort, so this should be easy."

Was he trying to nettle you? You wouldn't let him have the satisfaction. Now... how on earth did ponies climb ropes? You dared ask.

He snickered softly. "Practice, like anything else." He trot over to the dangling rope. "I'll go first just to show you how it's done." He grabbed the rope in his teeth, snapped his hooves against it and pulled himself right off the ground. His hind hooves came in like a vice, securing himself and he began using all three contact points, his teeth, fore, and back hooves in a crazy pattern to scale up that rope, ring the bell at the top, then slide back down to the ground. "Nothing to it."

That looked a little crazy, but a pony had to do what a pony had to do. You were no pony. You were from the simian family, and proud of it, dang it. You flexed those opposable thumbs of yours as you stepped up to the rope and took a firm grip. After giving the rope a testing tug, you yanked yourself upwards and began scaling, one hand over the other. Your arms protested being used. It wasn't the same ache you'd feel from weight-lifting too long. It was something deeper and more wide spread, but you fought against it until you could bat that bell at the top and come back down.

Polite clopping and stomping greeted you. Thunder nodded softly. "You climb like a monkey too. That's your new guard name, Lightning Monkey."

The other guards pressed in, greeting you as Lightning Monkey. The ice seemed to have been broken in part with a proper name given.

You felt a nuzzle from behind. One of the guards was grinning at you. "Do you know how to wrestle? I've always wanted to try my hoof at wrestling an ape."

You weren't an ape, and noted as such, but it didn't deter the guard.

Soon, you were in a wrestling ring with the guard opposite you. He had taken off his armor and the oddest thing happened. His fur began quickly gaining color, turning from white to a pale brownish hue. What was up with that?

The guard blinked at the question. "What, you think we all only come in two colors? It's a psychological trick to intimidate our enemies." He clopped his fore-hooves. "Ready?"

Thunder approached from the side of the ring. "Now remember, Lightning Monkey is not to be harmed, or Celestia'll have our hide. Keep it friendly."

"Yeah yeah. I'll take it easy on the little colt." He lowered his head and stomped at the ground. "Go ahead."

He was inviting you to have the first move? Alright then. You didn't have a lot of experience wrestling, but darned if you wouldn't try. You charged the pony and grabbed for his sides, but his head came up. Pony necks were stronger than they looked, it turned out. You were lifted from the ground and flipped right over his back. You came down on the ground, sliding free of him with a thud.

He set a hoof on your chest with a laugh. "Nice try, Lightning." He helped you up after that though and invited you to try again. There seemed to be no hard feelings there.

You spent an hour basically playing with them in all kinds of ways. When they won, they laughed. When they lost, they laughed. The enmity between you and them seemed to have broken down as you became 'one of the stallions' for a little while.

Still, you were tired. You were tired before you got there, so you were ready to call it quits for the day. Still, it had been fun, and good. You felt a different kind of tired that seemed.... more right. You were a bit less 'soul weary', if that even was a thing. A bit more physically weary, sure, but it had been worth the price of admission.

Lightning turned as you were about to flee. "Heading out, Lightning? Come back when you can. I think the colts here could use more practice training with and against bipeds, if you're willing." Farewells were given with slaps of hooves on the back and side, and soon you were free to wander the halls again.

You had a specific place to be! You took the distance to the schooling wing to lightly jog and work some of the kinks out and arrived in barely any time. Sure, you... might have started to stink a little, but you had a nice warm soapy bath waiting for you later. You pushed open the doors to find an entire room full of unicorns. It was a classroom, auditorium style. The professor, a stallion, paused mid-scribble to turn and look at you. All the students looked along with him.

He cleared his throat softly, a hoof over his snout. "And here we have one of them now, as if on cue." He raised a brow at you. "Were you aware we were discussing the very issue you exist to help resolve?"

You certainly were not!

He gestured forward. "Come in, if you please. Close the door behind you. Now, class, I ask that you all ignore the exterior of the pony that has entered the room, and make no mistake, this is a pony." He thrust a hoof out at you meaningfully. "Within that biped shell, the script of his body reads just as any of ours. Why, that's the only reason this works to begin with. Destiny be praised, his script and ours are not so much different 'versions' so much as scrambled versions of the same thing. Of course, there are some differences, but they are staggeringly tiny."

All their eyes were glued on you, except the teacher who was looking at them and waving at you. You were the star of the show, for better or worse. But you hadn't come to be the main attraction. You decided to go ahead and pop the question. Could a human, in theory, learn magic?

The professor blinked. The entire room blinked.

One unicorn pointed at you. "He's not a unicorn." She said it as if it were a novel realization.

A door across the hallway opened. A female unicorn stepped out, one you recognized. Moon Dancer approached, the bun of her hair bobbing. "Actually..."

The professor shook his head. "As much as it might intrigue me to hear sudden new theories, we do have a class to complete." He pointed out the door you had just come through. "If you please?"

Moon Dancer nodded towards him and walked up to you, then past you. Did she have an idea? You wanted to know, so you excused yourself and scooted out. With the door closed, you were in the hallway with Moon.

She looked you up and down. "Magic requires a specific organ, as I'm sure you're aware." She raised a hoof to point at her horn. "You don't have a horn."

Did she call you out there just to tell you no?

"Don't be ridiculous." She sat on her haunches and pointed at your crotch. "As it turns, you have an organ modified for the specific act of focusing and channeling magic. It is currently entirely involuntary, but there is no reason it has to be that way. I propose that you do have a horn, it's just not the one we typically presume."

You glanced down at your groin. Was she serious? You asked as much.

"Entirely," She raised a huge brow of hers. "If you're willing to work with me, we can both find out. I've been theorizing this for some time, but you're the first Stud to just come in and ask like this. I trust it means you're also interested?"

You were, but... Would using magic like that hurt your ability to do your job?

"On the contrary." Her magic glowed, creating a screen from nowhere that shows a basic human on it. A bright and bold arrow pointed at its groin. "Currently, you have a muscle, just like any other. You use it only sporadically, but when you do, you perform an extremely strenuous and difficult task. Is it difficult to see this may cause damage?" She rolled a hoof. "But..." Suddenly there was a tiny weight hanging from the human's very equine shaft. "Imagine if you could practice the muscle? Regular drills and acclimation resulting in less stress damage and permanent harm. The trouble may have been one--"

You held up a hand. You got where she was going, even if the picture of a weight, even tiny, hanging from your cock was not one you savored.

She adjusted her thick glasses. "Does this mean you agree to participate?"

Participate?

"In this study, of course. I would prefer a larger sample size, but you're all that I have, and you sound willing."

You informed her that you had a name, and wanted to be treated as a person, not a subject.

"You will be both." She nodded. "I will endeavor to bear your comfort in mind, but we are against a clock. I ask that you put forth a sincere and genuine effort."

Moon Dancer held out a hoof towards you. "Do we have a deal? You learn magic, and maybe avoid ever being expended, and I get credit for this paper when it's published."

Author's Note

https://www.surveymonkey.com/results/SM-28KZDWHN/

Oh man, a day off! While slacking was tempting, you wanted to do something with your day. Can a human learn magic? Can one keep up with trained guards? Both sounded like fun to find out! Maybe you could visit Careful while you were out and about. Yay for 'you' days! You're so busy salivating over the options in the castle, going outside seems mild in comparison.

Well, hello Moon Dancer. That nerdy unicorn has it out to train you in magical arts... through your dick. What could go wrong? Salvation, or a typo?

1) Yes
2) No
3) Why are you staring at my groin, Moon?
4) Maybe we should ask Celestia and/or Luna first?