I wasn't much of a outgoing type of mare. But, I was always thinking about something. Mainly, it was about him. Discord. I was always worried about him. Him and his unpredictable magic were always prone to finding themselves in serious trouble. But, he always managed to find a way out of it. Celestia only knew how that kept happening.
Today however, I was thinking about him in a different way. I was thinking about how life would be if he didn't come into our lives. How my life would be if he was still only a stone or in a different dimension. If he never appeared and we didn't have to deal with him.
I never liked thinking about the topic because it was this kind of thinking that was the most depressing. I could never find the words to put my feelings into whenever I thought about this, but I knew that I always felt my heart being crushed into a thousand different pieces when I did think about it.
I couldn't think about a different outcome without him around. Who would cause a bunch of problems just for fun? Who would be there for me whenever I did something out of character, which was an everyday thing for him? Who…who would be there for me when I needed someone to confide in? I had never thought of any other as someone who I could trust with my heart with. Well, aside Rainbow Dash but it's not the same.
I remembered the scene when he had betrayed us. But, I also remembered being afraid at the time. Not only was I scared for him because I thought he might go back to his evil ways, but I was also scared because I thought that he wouldn't see me as somepony worth staying with. That maybe, after he left or turned evil again, he would reject me.
But I had put away those fears-momentarily-when he didn't leave and wrapped me in a warm hug. I remembered never being more sure of myself in my life. I wasn't sure how far my feelings ran for him at the time, but I knew one thing. They were feelings that went beyond that of just friends.
I bit my lip. I knew that if he wanted to leave, he would have done so by now. My brain told me that I was being dumb. But even after that hug, I just couldn't help myself to think about it. The "what ifs" still suffocates me to this day. The stupid part was that I never talked to anypony about them. I always thought that my friends would think that I was an idiot and most importantly, I thought he would become offended by my thoughts.
So, I kept them to myself. I let my emotions remain bottled up. One day, I would release them. But not that day isn't today. Shaking my head clear of my thoughts, I decided to go pay Twilight a visit after feeding my animal friends.
When I arrived home, I was surprised to see that none of the animals was here.It was then I realized that they might be out, possibly playing. I was about to go upstairs when I noticed a notebook on the floor, one I didn't recognize.
As I grabbed it off the floor, I noticed that it was a journal. Discord's journal to be exact. I instantly tried to calm the sudden urge to read my best friend's journal. It was his privacy and I had no reason to invade it.
My curiosity side told me that I would be able to calm my nerves if I could only see what he was thinking. But my heart told me that he would just tell me if I asked and that there was no reason to open his journal. In the end, my curiosity won and I opened the book.
The book, for being so small, was pretty expansive. I realized that he must have compressed it because some of the entry's dated to before we had meet. As I flipped through the journal, something caught my eye. A journal entry made only three days ago.
"Wow, I'm still writing in this thing. It amazes me that after a few months I still use this to write what I feel—this is the fifty seventh time I've had to do write in this thing. Well, today I got some interesting news. Celestia wants to try and bring me into a different world, without the usage of my magic. She says that she found a way to bring me there but she couldn't really explain it in public so I'm heading to Canterlot tomorrow. She said she had to run a few tests just to make sure that it would work, but it was a serious possibility that she could put me into another world. She said for certain though that if I accepted, I wouldn't be able to come back. She explained the the place I would be would sap all of my magic. I'm not exactly sure what she is thinking, but I mean how cool would that be! I would be seeing new places and learning more material!"
Before I could read on, I heard somepony appear at the door. Quickly, I closed the book and bucked it near the couch, trying to make it seem as if I was never there. I almost escaped but luck would have it that he would pop up right now.
"Ah!" I squealed, but quickly recovered, "Oh hey, Discord! I just came in and…"
I stopped when he put his paw on my check. I put a hoof to my face. I hadn't realized that I had been crying while reading his journal.
"What's wrong, Fluttershy?" he asked.
I had told myself that today wouldn't be the day. But after reading that, I couldn't take it anymore. I let myself fall into his arms as I cried my heart out. Why? Why did I have to fall in love with the one individual that could be ripped away from my life so very easily?
"Don't go…"
"What was that?" he wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't go. I know I'm being selfish. But just don't leave me." I cried.
"Flutters, what are you…" He turned his attention to his journal on the ground, "You read it, didn't you?"
"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't have. But I've been so afraid. I've been scared of this ever since you betrayed us. I've never wanted you to go. I know how important being a all powerful being is to you. But I thought if you left and we're unable to come back, that you would start meeting other beings and forget about me. That one day, you would just become fed up and leave. Leave…me. I know I'm just being a selfish filly but I can't help it. I don't want you to go."
A few seconds passed before any words were exchanged.
"Flutters...I told her no."
"What?" I asked looking up at him with tears still in my eyes.
"If you had ready the entry a day later, you would have read that I told her not to worry about it. I told her that I would stay here."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Although it would be cool to be able go see new things again. I mean I could constantly be surprised and baffled at what is around me. But, I'll take what I can with my magic. Besides, I don't think I would like it as much. I enjoy being here. Many of my friends are here. And…"
"And?"
"I don't think I could ever leave you. Fluttershy, you've been my best friend ever since I was reformed. No matter what it took, you were always there for me. I love you. And I'm never going to leave you for the sake of just seeing new things."
"Never?" I asked, although I already knew his answer.
"Never." he said before kissing me.
Yep, I was never much of a outgoing mare. But I knew one thing, he would be a permanent in my life. As a best friend. As someone I can become close to. He would always be there for me, just as I would for him.
"Discord, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you were stuck as a stone."
"Funny, so am I."
Author's Note
Each friendship offers something totally unique — and irreplaceable. Each friendship ultimately makes us who we are. It can change us for the better or worse but nevertheless, it's better then not knowing at all.
