Lost, Alone, Contact, Despair, and Hope
There’s no better place to watch a sunset than a hill. It’s the perfect spot to watch the brilliant star inch below the horizon and into the distance. And on one particular hill sat one particular tree, that was one of the oldest trees in all of Equestria. Legends say that it was older than Celestia herself, but you know what they say about legends, you have to take ‘em with a grain of salt. The tree itself was kind’ve a tourist trap, but the only people who wanted to go there were fascinated by its age, and didn’t really want to do any sightseeing. They just came to admire the tree for a bit, and then left without doing much else. Anyway, this isn’t really a story about the tree, but of the pony who sat underneath it. But unlike most of the ponies who came to this hill, she wasn’t interested in watching the sunset or studying the tree. No, Twilight Sparkle mostly ignored the wondrous streaks that filled the sky, and instead focused on her books. Y’see, she had recently undertaken a new pupil, like Celestia did for her, to teach the mare about the magic of friendship - or whatever. Her student’s name was Starlight Glimmer, and she was incredible at using magic. Like, Twilight was too, but not in the way Starlight was. Starlight was really good at combining multiple different types of spells into one, and then using them effectively, while Twilight was just really good at memorizing and casting a lot of different magic . Like one time, she combined a mind control spell and a desire spell, and then cast it on me and some of my friends so she could speed up her friendship lesson for the day, but then everything kind’ve fell apart when everyone doing everything they were supposed to do kind’ve overwhelmed her. She apologized though, and that made everything better
Anyway, for some reason, Starlight’s talent made Twilight really jealous and bitter, so she had started to outright shun everyone around her and resort to coming to the hill every day for some quiet study time. And that’s where she was now, resting comfortably against the tree all alone. Well, that is until Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pony in all of Equestria, crashed down right beside her
”Hey Dash,” she commented, not looking up from her book
”Hi Twilight!” Dash enthusiastically said back. “What’chya you up to?” With a sigh, Twilight placed her book down, and looked over at the careless pegasus.
”Dash, I’m kind’ve in the middle of something right now. Is this important?”
”Well I just wanted to know how you were doing…”
”I’m fine! Happy? Can you leave me alone now?” With her magic, Twilight aggressively grabbed her literature off the ground, and held it out to continue reading.
”...Twilight are you still jealous over Starlight Glimmer?”
”For the last time, Dash, I am not jealous!” she huffed
”Okay okay, you’re not jealous… although if you’re feeling a little down, there’s this-”
”Whatever it is, I don’t care. Now go. Away.” And with that, she busied herself once again with her book, leaving Rainbow Dash feeling sad and dejected.
”Alright… well if you need me, I suppose you know where to find me.” Without so much of a grunt of acknowledgement, Twilight tried to immerse herself in the guide once again. And she almost succeeded, before Starlight Glimmer suddenly appeared in front of them
”Hello Twilight!” she greeted happily.
”Oh for the love of… can I please just get some God da- oh. It’s you Starlight. Um… what do you need?”
”Oh nothing really. I just wanted to stop by and see if you were on your way back to Ponyvile. We have that picnic tonight with the other gals, remember?”
”Wait, that’s tonight? Err... nah, I don’t think I’m going. Too much to do.”
”Not going? But they’ve been planning this for weeks…”
”Yeah well things come up, okay? Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to study here, and-”
”Twilight you’ve been up here for hours on end each day ‘studying’. It’s starting to get worrying.”
”While I appreciate the concern, I really don’t-”
”Y’know there’s a lot more to life than busywork,” Glimmer interrupted to the great annoyance of her teacher. “You need to learn to appreciate the little things in life, like the company of other ponies. It really clears your head.”
”Starlight-” Twilight began through gritted teeth
”Here, I know what’ll cheer you up! A good old-fashioned magic display!” Starlight then fired a brilliant beam of light into the sky, filling it with vibrant colors and bathing the entire area in warm waves.
”Oh my gosh!” Rainbow Dash proclaimed excitedly, staring up into the sky
Each color began to slowly spin within the pole itself whilst slowly traveling up the beam in a calculated manner. Twilight had settled across the land, allowing the gorgeous beam to be seen for miles around. The wave of light extended far beyond the surrounding plain, making the environment glow with brilliant reds, blues, greens, and purples for several miles. Twilight tried to resist the allure of the light, but her efforts proved to be in vain. Slowly, she shifted her gaze towards the sky, was was struck with awe at the glory before her. Well, until it came crashing down with seething jealousy
”Can’t you two just leave! Me! Alone?!” she cried, as a bright light began illuminating from her own horn. She flung her body weight towards the ground, causing a powerful wave of magic to ripple across the area. With a small “pft”, the two ponies before her disappeared without a trace . Whilst Twilight didn’t immediately notice their absence, she did notice a sudden silence encompass the area. A wave of relief washed over her, as she slowly looked around to see if anypony was still there. To her pleasant surprise, no one was. She glanced upwards and found that that twilight still lingered precariously in the sky. The field around her returned to a sleepy peacefulness, as a light breeze slowly drifted across it. Twilight took a moment to let the stillness enveloped her, before turning back to her book.
For what seemed like hours she sat there, studying, marking down notes, reading and re-reading entire pages, until she felt she couldn’t read any longer. She laid the book down beside her, and once again peered into the sky. To her surprise it was still twilight out.
”Jeez, how long have I been out here?” she pondered aloud. “I didn’t even feel the sun rising or setting.” With a grunt, she rose to her hooves, and placed the book inside her saddlebag. She thought about just walking back to her house, but that was pretty far away, and she wanted to hit the hay as soon as possible. So with another light “pft”, she teleported back to her tree castle and started climbing its stairs.
”I’m going to bed Spike,” she called. “Have breakfast ready for me in the morning.” She waited for her dragon to call back, but only silence answered her. Her frustration quickly gave way to tiredness, and she decided to punish the dragon in the morning.
Sleep that night felt… odd. She drifted into it pretty easily, but it felt hollow somehow. Like she wasn’t getting any real rest despite how loudly she was snoring. When she woke up, she felt rested, but the odd feeling lingered. As she rubbed her eyes, she opened her curtains to take a look outside. She was startled to see that not an inch of time had seemed to move since she last checked. Unable to believe the scene before her, she continued to try to rub any and all dust out of her eyes to make sure she hadn’t been mistaken. Yet the sun outside refused to rest
”Spike?” she called, leaping from her bed. The lack of a response was troubling. She darted into the kitchen, her study, and the dragon’s tiny closet, searching for some sign of Spike’s existence. Nothing turned up. She then dashed from her house, and down the road to Sugarcube corner, where she opened the unlocked doors and peered inside.
”Mr. or Mrs. Cake!” she called. “Pinkie? Anyone there?” Yet again, no one called back. With another “pft” of a teleport, she found herself in front of Fluttershy’s cottage.
”Butterblunder! I mean, Flutterpie! Are you home?” Still nothing. The idea that everyone in Equestria had suddenly vanished slowly crept into her mind, but she quickly brushed it off. She teleported to the Princesses’ Castle, and immediately headed for the throne room. As she burst through the door, she found that no one was there. No guards, no Celestia, no anyone. She felt a slight draft whistle through the empty building, fittingly emphasising how hollow it really was. After making sure every inch of the Castle was barren, she teleported to the Crystal Empire, and began searching the streets for any sign of life.
”Princess Cadence?” she called, as she opened the doors to the Crystal Palace. “Shining Armor? Anyone home?” The elegant stone palace only returned her question in an echo. Finally coming to terms with the facts, Twilight teleported back to Celestia’s Castle, and sat down in one of the nearby rooms.
”So I really am the only pony in Equestria…” she muttered aloud. Suddenly, a huge smile etched itself across her face, and she began laughing.
”I’m the only pony in Equestria! This is amazing!” she cried. She ran out of the room, still laughing, to the large statue of Celestia sitting in the middle of the grand hall.
”Take this you pretentious white cunt!” she gleefully shouted, grabbing the statue with her magic. With a small grunt of effort, she hurdled the statue towards the ground, shattering it into an uncountable number of pieces. A wave of gratification washed over her, and she sprinted towards the next statue. This one she hurdled into the wall, cracking a stone column in the process.
”How do you like that you bitch? I’m in control now! You hear me?!” With another fit of mad laughter, she grabbed two smaller statues, and placed one on the ground. She paused for a moment to perfectly position one above the other, and then began hammering it into the ground. Each small chink the statue brought a special bout of glee to the alicorn. Finally, she had completely demolished both momentos, and tossed the fragments of one aside. She continued to run about the castle, smashing each and every statue of Celestia she could find, until she was sure they were all ruined. In a mad frenzy, she rushed back to the throne room, and stared devilishly at the glorified chair in the middle. To Twilight, it was the symbol of her mentor. The very thing that represented all that she hated the Princess for. With narrow eyes, she began slowly charging her magic, not noticing as small crackles of lightning formed around it. Then suddenly, she fired it at the throne, blowing it and the back wall to smithereens. She took a moment to admire her work, before firing her magic at random parts of the castle, leaving enormous holes wherever she hit. She eventually hit one too many of the pillars, and the room itself collapsed around her. She watched in satisfaction, as pieces of debris fell smashed into the ground in front of her. Luckily, nothing hit her, although she probably wouldn’t have cared if any did. All that mattered was that Celestia’s precious throne room now sat in shambles around her.
She took a few moments longer to admire her handiwork, before the high wore off. With a content sigh, she made her way out of the room, kicking aside a few pieces of marble as she went, and looked out into the hall. Happy with the numerous amount of shattered stone on the ground, she teleported back home, where she headed up the stairs to her room
”Spike,” she called. “Make me a-”. And then she remembered, she was all alone.
”Right…” she said aloud. “Maybe I should try to fix this sometime soon.”. She was in no real rush though, given that she finally had the chance to study in peace. For what seemed like days she focused on learning how to combine spells without blowing up her house. On occasion she would venture outside to test them out in an environment where she could be destructive without worry. For the most part, Twilight was content with the way things were. The kitchen was stocked with plenty of food - enough to last her weeks - her liquor cellar was filled to the brim, and best of all nopony was around to bug her with their “insignificant” problems. If she ever needed something more tasty to munch on, she could quickly teleport to Sugarcube Corner to grab a cupcake or a small cake. On occasion, she would look into how to reverse the spell that trapped her in this void, but it was by no means her top priority. In fact the only time she really glanced into the subject was when she grew tired of reading about spell combinations. Eventually she lost track of how much time had passed, as night had refused to fall since time stopped. The sun still hung precariously below the horizon, refusing to let twilight pass. It bugged the alicorn somewhat, as that was the one aspect of her life she didn’t currently have in order, but there was nothing she could do about it. Why get all bent out of shape over something you can’t control? Well, Twilight thought things out of her control were fantastic things to get bent out of shape over, but whatever.
However, before long, the prolonged silence and empty world started to wear out its welcome. The sweets around town had started to stale, the leftovers in the fridge had run out, and the buildings around town had lost their sheen. Slowly but surely, Twilight started making more use of her liquor cellar. Once in awhile she would call out to someone to see if anyone would answer. But no response came. She started losing sleep at night, starting out with just an hour or so at most, then escalating to missing entire night’s worth. Finally, one morning she woke up far tireder than expected. Every muscle in her body begged her to stay in bed, to not go about the day’s activities. But she pushed back the covers anyway, and headed for the restroom. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and stared at her own reflection. Beneath her eyes sat dark black circles, far bigger than they’d ever been before. Her mane lay disheveled and matted atop her head, and her coat looked crusty and dull. She smacked her dry lips a few times, and headed for her library. Upon arrival she saw the entire thing in disarray. Books were strewn about upon both the shelves and the ground. Crumbs and plates from meals past fared the same fate. The candles in the room had burned down to where just a small slab of wax remained to keep the dim light going. And mold and grime had wedged itself into dark corners of the room
”Wow,” the alicorn muttered aloud. ”This place has really gone to hell. No biggie though. I… I can still read and work in here. This is fine. Everything is fine... oh who the fuck am I kidding, this isn’t good at all! I’ve got to fix this!”
She then began ferally pulling random books off her shelf to try and find some kind’ve solution. For what seemed to be several days, she did nothing but read, and occasionally drink a glass of water. In that time, she’d found nothing. The only reason she stopped was because she couldn’t bear the feeling of hunger that racked her body any longer. She whipped herself up a quick meal, and dined while she studied. Day in and day out she spent searching her library and finding nothing of worth. She would occasionally try a spell she’d found to no seeable avail. As the stack of unread books grew smaller and smaller, she started venturing to the royal library in Canterlot, and to the library tucked away in the Crystal Empire. But no matter what book she picked up, she found nothing that proved useful. Desperation soon began to set in, to the point where she’d begun skimming all three libraries instead of actually sitting down and reading through each book. ”Come on. Come. On! There’s gotta be something in here to help me out…” she would occasionally say aloud. Soon her desperation mixed with frustration and anger, and she began burning books with her magic when they didn’t yield any proper results. Before long, she had huge piles of ash and paper scattered about the libraries. She’d spent more time in the foreign libraries than she did her own, and had exhausted them of their literature. As she finished the last book in the Canterlot library, she teleported back home, and glared at the novel. With a roar of frustration, she ignited it, and grabbed the first of the last two books on her shelves.
However, this one was different than all the others. Its cover glowed a bright lavender color, and its binding looked ancient. It seemed to vibrate as she held it with her magic, almost beckoning her to open it. She stared at it in shock for a few moments, almost believing that it wasn’t real
”Sunset…” she gasped. “Sunset, how could I forget!”. She quickly opened the book, and turned to the newest page. In it a message was scrawled.
”Hey Twilight,” the alicorn read. “Um… all of your friends just showed up here looking for you. They wanted me to leave you a message to see if you’d respond. So… yeah. Write me back if you get this.”. The book started to shake within Twilight’s magic grip. She could hardly believe it… she had an actual way to contact the outside world. After leaping into the air with joy, she grabbed a quill and ink bottle off her shelf, and began hurriedly writing
”Sunset! Sunset I’m here! Are you there?” For a while, no response came. The princess sat there in absolute silence, with the book open before her, praying that some kind’ve response would suddenly appear upon the paper.
”Twilight?” Sunset finally scrawled across the page. “You’re alive?”
”Starlight! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m so glad to hear from you!”
”Well jeez, thanks for making me feel all warm and fuzzy. I’m sorry for inconveniencing you there. I guess I’ll just leave you to whatever you’re doing at the moment..”
”No no no! I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I’m trapped in some void, and I don’t know how to get out!”
”A void? What on earth do you mean? Where are you?”
”The better question would honestly be when am I? I’ve somehow found myself stranded in some weird realm where time doesn’t move. I’m in Ponyville for sure, but I couldn’t tell you how much time’s passed since I’ve arrived.”
”Wait what? When? How the heck did you get there?”
”I don’t know! All I know was I cast a spell to make people disappear while Starlight was doing some kind’ve light display, and now everyone’s gone!”
”Well I could tell you how long you’ve been away from here. It’s been about sixty-seven years since you vanished.”
”What?!” You’re kidding me.”
”No joke Twilight. Sorry to tell you. To be frank, you're lucky I even responded. I've been using this thing to prop up a chair that's got a leg shorter than the others. I just so happened to drop my TV remote behind it, and noticed that it was glowing. I honestly didn't want to try to get a hold you in the first place, but the others came here to see if you had wound up here, and insisted I leave at least one note in the book.."
"How long did ponies look for me?”
”Um, I dunnow, maybe a week?"
"A week?! But... I'm the princess of friendship! Surely someone would've kept looking!"
"I just said I don't know Twilight, sheesh. It could've been longer. Maybe a month or two. All I know is that when I went back to make a quick check-up, everyone had already given up looking for you, and that was a few weeks after they came here in the first place."
Twilight could hardly believe what she was reading. No one cared that she was gone... no one had looked for her for very long. She closed the book and laid it atop a nearby table, and lowered herself to the ground beside it, trying to keep herself from trying. The novel lightly vibrated against the wooden stand, and Twilight absent-mindedly grabbed it with her magic. In the purple glow, she silently read Sunset's message.
"No offense Twilight, but you're not exactly a popular pony."
The words that had etched themselves into the page started to blur from tears. She tried, and failed to withhold her tears, and began silently weeping. With a cry of frustration, she hurled the book aside, and let her sorrow flow. It soon turned to rage, as she torched her one final way of contacting her previous life, and ran for the room where the portal between hers and Sunset’s world rested. There sat the statue, beautiful and stoic in design, lifeless in actual appearance. The alicorn then began charging a magic blast, intending to tear open the gateway between the dimensions. Her horn began emitting sparks and started crackling, as a violet ball began growing in size around it. She then unleashed her spell upon the statue, and saw the actual mirrors themselves glow a vibrant white color, indicating that travel to the other world was now possible. However, the light only lingered for a moment, before the statue itself began to crack. With another vibrant flash, the statue tore itself apart, flinging pieces of marble and clay across the room in the process. Twilight quickly erected a barrier to shield herself, looking away as several chunks of material bounced off her protection. When the barrage of debris had finally ceased, the room was left in a heaping mess. Marks and dents had been etched into the crystal walls of the castle where the stone had hit. Small shards of gems had tinkered to the floor, and everything that had once stood in the room now lay in disheveled piles. For a moment she sat there, horrified at the result as a wave of hopelessness washed over her.
Then, she cried out in anguish. She flung bits and pieces of the statue at the walls and other objects of the room, intending to defrock each and every inch of the room. Once enough damage had been done, she ran back into her library, and torched the rest of the intact literature in there with one large beam. As she reached for the last one on the shelf, however, she saw that the crest of an hourglass laid embedded upon the cover. A small feeling of hope overtook her, and she got to searching the novel.
”Please… please let this have something…” she begged aloud.
Her hope diminished as each page yielded no proper solution. Until she finally reached the last page.
”Please...let this work…” she said, as she read the spell.
With the last bit of energy she had, she gathered up enough magic to cast the spell, and when she released it…
Nothing. As the “pfhew” of the spell sounded, she darted out of her house, and found that Ponyville was still ghastly empty. The reality of her situation had finally set in. She was trapped there forever. There were no more books out there that could help her find the solution, the royal library at Canterlot was the premiere knowledge center of the world
”Spike?” she called out once more, in some vain hope that something actually changed. “Starlight? Rarity? F-Fluttershy?”
Nothing. With a heavy heart, she returned inside, and headed for her cellar. The grabbed the last bottle of gin from the shelf, and made her way to the bathroom, where she grabbed a bottle of opioids. She took a seat against the wall right outside her bathroom, and observed both substances.
”Welp. I suppose I have an actual valid reason to do this now.”
Without a second thought, she popped open the cap on the medicine, and placed a dozen or so in her mouth. She then uncorked the bottle, and began chugging its contents. Once it’d been drained of its contents, she tossed it aside, not even bothering to look up when it sounded with a sickening crash. Her breathing started to slow, and she could feel her heart desperately pounding in her chest.
”It’ll be okay…” she reassured herself. “In a few more minutes, I’ll be out of this hell.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, and slowly pulled them back open. Drowsiness was beginning to overtake her, and her heart started to wind down. Each shaky breath seemed to echo around the room, each blink felt like sleep was overtaking her. After what seemed like an eternity of hanging on to life’s horrid embrace, she finally managed to slip into slumber, welcoming death as she did.
”Gah!” she cried, as she jolted awake.
In her sudden startle, the princess flung herself to the ground below, breathing deeply to calm herself. It suddenly became very obvious that she was still very much alive.
”Wh-what happened?” she asked. “Did… did I do it?”
She looked above, and found that night had now fallen.
”W-what? Am I… am I back to the real world? Am I dead?”
”Yes to your first question,” a gruff voice said beside her. “And no to the second.”
Twilight quickly turned to see her teacher- Princess Celestia - sitting beside her, looking into the distance blankly. Well, as blankly as Twilight had ever seen her stare.
”You’ve awoken from your slumber, and you’re alive.”
”S-slumber? I was asleep?”
”All study and no play drains a pony, my faithful student. I’d thought you would’ve learned that lesson a long time ago.”
”Heh.. Heh heh… I’ve uh.. I’ve.”
”Spare me the drivel. I care not why you’ve let yourself fret and fuss over not being able to combine spells. All I care about is your dream.”
”My dream?”
”Yes, your dream. Luna regaled it to me in exquisite detail.”
Twilight suddenly recalled when she started smashing the statutes of Celestia around the palace, and broke into a cold sweat.
”Ignoring that little detail, it seems you’ve been wanting to get some alone time.”
”Well… yeah. I do. To be honest princess, I’ve wanted to get away from everything since I came to this podunk place. I was happy back in Canterlot. I had my books, I had Spike at my beck and call, and I had all the alcohol in the world to subsidise the occasional craving. But then I came here. My house just got destroyed destroyed, Spike’s become a lot more resentful, and I need to knock back a few drinks every hours to stay sane.”
”And yet when the world was stripped away from you in your dream, you wanted it all back. Why is that?”
”I… couldn’t tell you Princess.”
”Sure you can. You just don’t want to.”
"...I suppose I’ve gotten used to my friends’ company.”
”Try again. This time, be more honest.”
Twilight glanced out to the field before her, pondering her answer carefully.
”I… I need my friends. As much as they’re a thorn in my side, and as much as I want them gone, I need them.”
”Quite. Here’s the thing Twilight, your vision of Sunset wasn’t incorrect. You’re not very popular in the whole of Equestria.”
The truth hurt to actually hear.
”A little hospitality and good will towards your friends might change that fact, my faithful student. Especially since you have a fresh start with young Starlight. She’s eager to learn, and being around the princess of friendships makes her absolutely giddy. It’s never too late to change the minds of your friends Twilight. You don’t have to live your life in misery.”
The goddess observed the field herself for a few moments, taking in the scenery of ocean of green, before continuing.
”Believe me, living in isolation isn’t a fun thing to experience. I’ve done it for nearly a millennia now. It cripples the soul and tarnishes the mind.”
”So then why don’t you change your situation around?”
"...That’s a discussion for another day, my faithful student. As for now, heed my words. Go home to your friends. Enjoy their company. Restart your relationships.”
Twilight paused for a few moments, before rising to her hoofs, and starting away from the hill. She turned back to her teacher, who still sat staring blankly at the landscape.
”Are you… are you going to be heading back to your Castle, princess?”
”In a bit, Twilight. I need to work something out before I do.”
”Right…”
Without another word, the Alicorn headed home, where she took a moment to stare at its crystal exterior. She sighed, and pushed the door open, hearing the sound of sweeping coming from inside.
”Spike? Is that you?” she called out
”Yep,” she heard her dragon call back. “What’dya need?”
”Nothing, I was just… making sure someone hadn’t snuck in.”
”To mah knowledge, no one ‘as. ‘S been pretty peaceful while you were out.”
”Okay, good. Um… is supper ready?”
”’S been ready. There’s a plate waiting for ya in the kitchen.”
”Thanks.”
As she slowly made her way through dinner, taking an occasional sip from her flask while she ate, she reflected on the dream she had, and what - if anything - she should do to improve her stature. She downed another gulp of liquor right when Starlight entered the kitchen
”Hello Twilight!” she greeted. “How’s it goin’?”
”Eh, it’s going.”
The alicorn drained the last bit of liquid from her flask, and turned to face her student. The unicorn stood smiling at her teacher, full of life and bubbly. She reminded Twilight of herself as a child, so eager to learn magic, so eager to meet new ponies and have new experiences. So eager to be in the presence of a princess. The alicorn glanced down to the floor, somewhat ashamed of how she’d treated her prodige up until that point.
”Hey, Starlight,” she began hesitantly. “I was just thinking… maybe we could brush off the friendship lesson tomorrow, and just hang out some.”
”What, really?”
”Yeah. We haven’t exactly been chummy since I took you under my wing, and I think we need to change that. Y’know, to uh... further your studies.”
”Twilight are you feeling okay?” Starlight asked worriedly. “You’re acting a little strange tonight.”
”Let’s just say I’ve had a bit of a change in heart. So you in?”
”I mean… sure. Sounds like it’ll be fun!”
”Great. Anyway, I’m about to head off to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow Starlight.”
”See ya!”
The alicorn finished up her meal, and made her way to her bedroom, thinking things over as she walked. As she laid down in her bed, she took one last peak out her window to see night had comfortably fallen. She then pulled the covers overtop her, and fell into a quick, deep, relaxing sleep.
