Is There a Barber In the House
In Canterlot a demon is on the loose. The citizens terrified. The police baffled. With diabolical cleverness the monster strikes without warning...and draws mustaches on all the ads.
In fact just about every street corner poster, window display and even shop mannequins sported some form of lip strip on them from simple pencil to Fu Manchu.
“Would you look at this atrocity!” Rarity cried out as all the mannequins in the boutique had been defaced with the fiend's calling card. The rest of her friends were helping to clean off the inked on mustaches.
“I wouldn't call it an atrocity per se,” Sunset commented as she wiped down one of the display windows. “More of a minor annoyance if you ask me.”
“Minor annoyance? This is a travesty darling. Just look at what that monster did to my latest evening gown.” She pulled out said article of clothing to show the blue fabric had mustaches sown all over, as if they were the pattern. “Who in their right minds would buy such a gaudy thing?”
“I'll give ya twelve bucks for it.” Pinkie popped up on her left, cash in hand. Rarity could do little but sigh and relented to accepting Pinkie Pie's deal. “By the way, weren't Applejack and Rainbow Dash supposed to be here to help out?”
“The mustache fiend struck her families apple trees and AJ and RD said something about citizens arrest.” Sunset said as she aided Fluttershy at another window. “That or vigilante justice. I forget.”
No one knows who this fiend is. It could be you, it could be me.
“But it could be me.” A voice called from the street below as Lemon Zest came into view. “Hey narrator dude, down here. Pretty funny, huh? I bet you're wondering, why is she painting mustaches over the ads, displays and everything in between? Could it be her way to strike back at the establishment? Maybe to bring awareness to some kind of social injustice. Or perhaps it's to protest the occupation of some foreign land.” She gestured playfully to come closer and spoke in a whisper.
“Honestly,” Zest looked around to make sure no one else was there. “I just thought it'd be funny and you know what? I was right!” She excitedly jumped around, laughing before running down the street to find her next victim.
Meanwhile, in the middle of Canterlot City Applejack, with the aid of Rainbow Dash had set up what the latter perceived to be an extremely clever plan. “Dash are you sure about this?” the farm girl voiced her concerns as her head stuck through a hole in a fence barring off the alleyway. Around her head was an advertisement with he face acting as the mascot.
“It's the perfect plan,” Dash said as she put the finishing touches on her trap. “This guy comes around, sees an ad he hasn't tagged yet and can't help himself. He stops and bingo, we got him?”
“If you say so.” Applejack rolled her eyes at the idea as several children walked by, laughing at her. “How long do I have to stay like this?”
“Just until we bust him. Trust me it won't take that long.” The two heard a loud growl as Dash blushed in embarrassment. “Guess I shouldn't have skipped lunch. I'm gonna grab a burger real quick. Be right back.”
“Dash, get back here!” AJ shouted as her friend disappeared around the corner, leaving her alone. Not a minute later and she watched as a Lemon Zest passed by slowly on her roller blades. She took a passing glance at the supposed trap before moving on. A moment later she glided back and stood in front of it for a good while, seemingly in an attempt to make heads or tails of the advertisement. AJ kept still the entire time as to not give herself away. Zest shrugged and left, but not before she placed a box on the ground in front of the fence.
Once she was sure the girl was gone and no one else was around, Applejack glanced down at the box. On top was a note attached that read, 'Don't open til X-mas'. “Tarnation, it's only May. I reckon it won't hurt none if I have a peek.” She pulled her head out, opened the ate and leaned down to take a look inside. The girl was wholly startled as a hand reached out and printed a stache right across her lip. Lemon Zest emerged a second later and raced down the street. “The Mustache Fiend. Get back here you!”
While her friend was in pursuit of the culprit, Rainbow Dash had just gotten her hands on a thick and juicy cheeseburger. “Oh boy, come to mama.” Just as she opened her mouth wide to take the first bite, Zest whizzed past her with Applejack close behind, the burger sadly knocked out of her hands and onto the pavement. Dash looked down at her ruined meal and did the only thing that made sense to her at the time. “Waaaaah!”
“Catch me if you can slowpoke.” Zest continually mocked her pursuer as she sped passed a bus full of tourists. Using her speed skating skills she pulled out a spray paint can from her messenger bag and effortlessly sprayed a mustache on each of the windows as the onlookers stared out, seemingly planting one on each of them. She zipped around the corner and out of sight. “Woo-hoo! Ten out of ten.” She halted to catch her breath as she peered back around the building to find she'd lost the apple farmer before she casually strolled away.
“Gotcha!” Applejack burst out of a nearby alley and pulled her target in as the two tumbled to the ground. Zest found herself flat on her back and AJ on top of her, the latter's hands accidentally resting on her breasts.
“Gee kid, I didn't know you cared.” She said playfully, blushing.
Applejack immediately rolled off of her and put her hands up defensively, her face flush red. “No-no I didn't mean...that is I wasn't trying to...” The muddled apology is cut short as Zest placed a finger over her lips.
“Shh. It's okay, I feel it too. The electricity between us.” Zest took AJ's arm and kissed her hand as the other girl was uncertain whether to be freaked out or flattered. The green haired girl gradually made her way up her arm as she praised the farmer in a fake French accent. “Ah, my blonde beauty. Oh, my freckled fraulein. Ah my apple scented amazon.” She immediately stopped her act as she spotted Rainbow Dash coming their way and bolted.
For her part, Applejack was still seated on the ground, blushing heavily and her eyes closed, completely unaware that Lemon Zest had made her grand exit. Dash walked up behind her, removed the farm girl's hat and slapped her with it. “What are you doing!”
“Huh, what? No...I wasn't...”
Dash simply placed a hand over her face. “I don't know what you were just doing and frankly I don't ever want to know. Let's just split up so we can catch the fiend alright, please?” AJ nodded and got to her feet before she shook both the dirt and embarrassment off and the two headed out once again to catch the elusive target.
“Now where is that little...” AJ stopped as she looked up to find that Lemon Zest had commandeered a window cleaning platform and was busy defacing a large mural. She took the long ride up the elevator to reach the floor her target was on just as Zest stepped inside the building via a window. “Hold it right there!”
Zest hopped back on the window sill. “Take one more step and I'll jump, I mean it.”
Applejack rolled her eyes as she knew full well that the platform was right under the window. She confidently stepped forward which resulted in Zest jumping backward. Her foot accidentally hit the controls and the platform careened down to the street as she vanished from sight, screaming before the sound of the machine smashing against the canvas muted her voice out.
Shocked and horrified, the farm girl ran to the window and peered out only to find Zest resting on the ledge below. “What's up?” she said casually as she drew yet another mustache on the girl before kissing her on the nose and promptly skipped happily away around the ledge.
“I hate that girl.” Applejack carefully stepped outside the building and gave chase. Ever step she took seemed to be a death defying stunt that was taking at least a month off her life expectancy. Zest for her part, seemed to be toying with her further, as she stayed just out of range of her pursuer's reach. Applejack finally fed up with the games, leaped forward to nab her target only to come up short and lose her balance. She teetered over the edge and almost fell before the neon haired girl grabbed her by the front of her shirt and hauled the two into an open window.
“You saved me?” was all the farmer could mutter as she sat next to Zest on the floor, her heart racing.
“Hey I may draw awesome staches on just about anything but I don't fool around with people's lives. Plus...” Another mustache appeared on Applejack's face as Zest planted a kiss on her cheek. “You're just too much fun.” She broke out in uncontrollable laughter as embarrassed and angered AJ bopped her on the top of the head and knocked her out.
Later
Zest found herself with several others cleaning the streets of the city for her court mandated community service. “Well look who it is.” She turned to find Applejack standing on the sidewalk with her arms crossed. “I really hope you've learned your lesson.”
“Yes ma'am. I've learned you're the worst date I've ever had.” Her joke fell flat on Applejack, who looked not all amused. “But seriously, I've learned my lesson. Never again will I draw another mustache.” She gave a wicked smile before she pulled out a black marker and gave the girl a soul patch. “I'm doing beards now!”
