Lost Ghosts

by Light755

Rating: teen
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4762

Twilight visits her friends' graves, and is forced to come to terms with the mistakes of her past.

Being an alicorn princess had been a tough job, but now in old age Twilight Sparkle has finally been able to retire. Her ascendant alicorn status didn't give her immortality like Celestia or Luna, but it did extend her lifespan significantly. Now all that meant was that she was the only one left.

Twilight is crippled and weak, but manages to return to the Ponyville cemetery. She just had to see them. One last time.

Published 2016-11-20 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-20 20:30:01 UTC

'Round Every Corner

Birds sang in the trees as the warm wind blew, carrying their immortal song throughout the vale. A series of clouds flitted along the crimson skyline, casting fleeting shadows throughout the barren cemetery. Twilight Sparkle's hooves were firmly planted in the soft grass, unable to advance any further. The lump in her throat only got thicker, and her wide eyes were staring off absent-mindedly into the distance.

Hooves trembling, Twilight took a step forwards, carrying with her all the grief and sadness of a century of life. Her sore muscles and aching heart protested with all their might, but her mind was determined to make it to the end of the path. She just had to see them one last time.

It was a cruel justice, being forced to watch helplessly as everyone she loved passed away. Back when they were kids they made a pact to never be apart. They were the elements of harmony, destined to protect the glorious land of Equestria from any threat seeking to harm and destroy.

And protect it they did.

That was until they were forced away by obligations and aspirations. Twilight didn't hold them back though, how could she? As a princess she had obligations of her own, and before she knew it her friends were spending years apart. The only time they would really see each other was at the annual Ponyville reunion, and even then more often than not some of them wouldn't be able to make it.

Step by step Twilight made it down the grassy aisle, remnants of past lives adorning each side as a solemn reminder of what becomes in the end. A drop of liquid found its way to the tip of Twilight's snout, but it was completely ignored for before her was the last testament of her departed friend.

Twilight knelt before the weathered tombstone, setting down the bouquet of flowers that were gently bristling in the wind.

"Here lies Rainbow Dash:
Wonderbolts captain and loyal friend
Twenty-percent cooler in death
982-1052"

Twilight sniffed, eyes growing heavy as old wounds reopened. On the back of her neck, she felt the distracting tingling of goosebumps. The stallion-in-black was already breathing down her neck, ready to take her too. She blinked, memories flashing before her eyes.

Rainbow Dash had been the first of the six to depart, falling victim to a flying accident while performing in the biggest event of the year. It was one of the most shocking events in recent Equestrian history, and it taught Twilight a lesson about the fragility of life.

Forever her friends had been a constant in her life. They had been faithful companions, shoulders to cry on. Rainbow's death had tore a hole in Twilight's chest, a rift separating her from the past. Nothing could ever be the same.

"Twilight?" said an oddly familiar voice, resonating in the eerie silence of the graveyard.

The princess jumped, quickly spinning her head in the direction of the noise. Her mouth laid agape and her eyes widened when she saw Rainbow Dash stood before her, posture held up high in all her former-glory. She looked identical to how she used to in her teens, but her body was translucent and shimmering.

"Th... That's not scientifically p... p... possible," Twilight stammered, creeping back away from the ghost. It was unsettling to say the least. Perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her. This was a highly emotional situation after all, maybe in her old age Twilight had finally fallen to insanity.

Rainbow Dash laughed heartily, her smile as jovial as it always used to be. "No egghead nonsense, Twi. I didn't rise from the grave to be bored back to death again."

Twilight's face paled, her eyes fixated on the impossibility before her. With magic, Twilight removed her glasses and cleaned them with a handkerchief. Surely there was something wrong with them if she was seeing things that weren't really there.

But the glasses were fine. Before her stood Rainbow Dash, clear as day. Twilight blinked several times. "I... I don't understand... How? W... Why?"

The facsimile smiled, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "Sometimes you've gotta just accept things that don't make sense."

"How could you do this to me!" Twilight screamed, teeth bared. "You damn well knew the risks! You left me feeling hopeless, like I'd failed you somehow!"

Rainbow paced forwards past the flabbergasted alicorn, and stared longingly at the setting sun. "I used to be the fearless one," she said, eyes fixated on the horizon. "I was never afraid of anything, I lived each day like death would never come."

Twilight was trembling, her teeth clenched so hard she thought her fragile jaw might break. "Why'd you do it then? You knew the risks as well as anypony."

Fighting back tears and heartache, Twilight thought back to that morning when she'd begged Rainbow to not go through with it. Her arthritis had been getting worse, and it was only a matter of time before something tragic happened. She'd been losing her mind, preparing spell after spell to keep Rainbow Dash as protected as possible. The chances of catastrophe were small, so small. Twilight's protection plus Rainbow's still-strong flying evened the odds as much as possible.

But tragedy did find her in the end.

"I did it because that's who I am, and even now I don't regret it," Rainbow replied, turning her head with a light smile. "I would never back down from a challenge, and as the Wonderbolts captain I had to perform. We all have to go eventually, Twi, and I'm glad I was able to go out kickin'!'"

"What about us!" Twilight screamed, firmly planting her fragile hooves in the solid ground. "You left us all behind, without so much as a goodbye. How could you? H... How could you d... do this to me!"

Rainbow raised her eyebrows and sunk a little. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I guess I didn't think about it that way."

Rainbow should feel ashamed. She'd gotten herself killed in a reckless manner, not thinking about anypony but herself as usual. Although, no good would come from blaming a ghost. Twilight had come here to say goodbye, not project her feelings of guilt.

Smiling ever so gently, Twilight stepped forwards and reached out to her friend. She was barely an inch away before Rainbow dissipated into dust, floating away into the crimson sky. Crumbling like a tower of sand, the last remnants of Rainbow Dash floated off into the wind.

Twilight's legs lost strength, and she fell to the ground. After a few moments of defeat, she looked up and realized she stood before another tombstone.

"Here lies Rarity:
World-renowned designer and generous philanthropist
She gave so much, and demanded so little
983-1066"

"—What a dreadful design for a tombstone, darling. I expected so much more."

Twilight froze, terrified of what she might see if she turned around. She didn't have to though, because the owner of the mystery voice walked all the way around until she was clearly within Twilight's sights.

"R... R... Rarity?"

"Of course, Twilight!" Rarity beamed, shaking her head majestically so that her styled mane glistened in the fleeting sunlight. "Why so sad?"

Twilight was crushed. In the decade following Rainbow Dash's death, she had made it a point to visit her friends as much as possible. Rarity, however, just always seemed to be on a conflicting schedule. Up until the day she died, Rarity worked day and night on dresses and designs just as she'd always done. The brunt of the management of her company had fallen to Sweetie Belle, but the fashionista refused to sit at the sidelines while her hooves still functioned.

She had died so suddenly and without warning. It had been the Rainbow Dash incident all over again. Twilight remembered the flickering hospital lights as she stormed down the hallway to her friend's deathbed. Applejack had told her it was peaceful, that she had passed away in her sleep, but Twilight never forgave herself for not being there for her friend.

Twilight sniffed, turning her head away. "I wasn't there for you. I've been a terrible friend. To you, to everypony else," she said, tears beginning to drip from the corner of her closed eyes. "I deserve this. I deserve to wither and rot alone, while you are all at peace—"

"—Nonsense, darling!" Rarity interrupted, brow furrowed in disapprovement. "A princess has duties, and should you have shirked said duties to watch this old bat on her deathbed then I would have lost respect for you. We drifted apart to follow our own paths in life, I can hardly chastise you for that, darling."

Twilight looked up in shock, unsure of how to respond. How could she say that? Twilight had abandoned her friends for obligations that weren't nearly as important to her. She had let them drift apart, following false aspirations in a world where in the end the only things that matter are family and friends. What was she thinking? Leaving Ponyville was the worst decision she'd ever made.

"I... I just thought we were taking a step forwards, but in reality we were just taking a step back..." Twilight pulled her knees in close and wrapped her arms around them, all the while trying her hardest to avoid Rarity's penetrative gaze. "It was the illusion of being free, leading me on to follow a dream that only led me back to where I started. I took you all for granted."

"The hands of time tear everything apart in the end, and we're eventually consumed back into the nothingness from whence we came," Rarity said, tracing the outline of her grave with a hoof. "What matters is that you make the most of the time you have, and I enjoyed every second we spent together, Twilight."

"How can you say that?" Twilight asked quietly.

"I thought I had more time," Rarity said, absent-mindedly playing with her mane. "There were just so many dresses and events that I simply had to attend, but I suppose I had to learn it the hard way: life is short; every second counts. Don't just sit there and just wait for the end, darling, reach out and take your life back. Do it for me..."

Just as Rainbow Dash had before, Rarity began to fade away. Twilight reached out, desperately trying to grasp at something that was never there, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so s... s... sorry, R... Rarity..."

Twilight was alone again, just as she'd always been, just how she always would be until the inevitable end of her days. She was miserable and alone, destined to wallow in the memory of past mistakes. If only she'd not accepted the alicorn ascension and the responsibilities it entailed, then maybe they could have stayed together. She could have at least made an effort to be there for her friend in her final moments.

Twilight forced herself to stand up, limbs still shaking, for before her laid the remains of Pinkamena Diane Pie.

"Here lies Pinkie Pie
Always bringing laughter to those who needed it most
They have party cannons in heaven, right?
983-1067"

Not even a year later, Pinkie had fallen to leukemia, marking the beginning of Twilight's downwards spiral. She would slowly descend into insanity, consumed by paranoia and regret.

It was how quickly Pinkie's death had followed Rarity's that made Twilight lose her mind. She had gone to Princess Celestia and demanded reversal of alicorn status, and even stormed out of a very important meeting. All obligations had been abandoned as she searched the land for her dwindling friend group, consequences be damned.

She'd worked and studied so hard in her career as a princess and a professor, but none of that mattered without her friends, and there were only two left.

"You still have five left, silly. We're still here!"

Twilight jumped, her heart skipping a beat at the high pitched excitable voice that could only belong to one pony. How could the ghost hear her thoughts? Ghosts were obviously not real, so she supposed they could do whatever they want. Even so, this was Pinkie she was talking about, probably the only pony in Equestria with the ability to come back from the grave.

Pinkie laughed with an abrupt snort, bouncing around her gravestone. "I'm not really here, Twilight, but I'm always with you in your heart. It's a bummer that I'm gone, but whenever you smile a part of me carries on."

Twilight swallowed the gulp in her throat, trying to regain her composure. Pinkie had actually said something serious, and even she didn't blame Twilight for the awful friend she'd been. How could they be so forgiving? If they wouldn't condemn her, then she'd have to beat herself down even harder in their stead.

"No!" Pinkie almost screamed, bouncing in front of Twilight with eyes almost bulging out of her head. "Don't do that! I mean, it is kinda true that I died in a horrible, painful way on a hospital bed in the most boring room with absolutely nothing to do. And it's also true that you never came to visit even though I sent you many letters—"

Twilight stiffly hobbled away, bursting into tears once again. At least Pinkie had some sense. How could Twilight have been so heartless? Important meeting in Griffonstone? Diplomacy could suck it, Twilight would let the whole world fall into chaos if it meant seeing her friend one last time. Due to her feeble health, Twilight only made it a few paces down the path before crumpling to the floor in a painful mess of withered hooves.

"—Right, sorry not helping!" Pinkie bounced back into sight, flashing an extremely sheepish grin as she bent down to meet Twilight at eye level. "We lived our lives in our imaginations back then. We grew up, moved on, I understand that. Trust me I understand more than anypony, how do you think I felt leaving the rock farm? I loved my family, but I had to follow my own path in life."

Twilight buried her face in the dirt, rubbing her cheeks in to make her face bleed. She deserved all the pain the world could give her. A millenia of pain would be less than she deserved. She winced as a thousand tiny rocks slashed into her wrinkled face, and coughed as the dust kicked up into the air.

"Twilight please, listen to me!" Pinkie's voice lowered into a serious tone she'd scarcely used before. "My one goal in life was to make other ponies happy, please don't let me fail now..."

Twilight looked up, but Pinkie was gone, the vestiges of her ghost scattered around the field in the distance. She fought back tears as hard as she could, biting her tongue to force her back to reality. She was going to smile, even if it killed her. She couldn't bare to disappoint Pinkie, even if it was something as simple as that. It was the least she could do.

Standing up, Twilight cast a quick spell to heal her battered face. There were two more graves to visit, and Twilight wasn't about to give up now. Her friends deserved at least that.

"Here lies Applejack
Honest, hard working owner of Sweet Apple Acres
You reap what you sow
983-1070"

Applejack was always the tough one, hanging on until the very end. Granny Smith had outlived her by a few decades, but Granny Applejack was just as deadly of a force to be reckoned with. Under her, Sweet Apple Acres reached a new era of prosperity.

From what Twilight had heard, Applejack died from literally working herself to death. That sounded just like Applejack, unable to accept help even when woefully overwhelmed.

Twilight smiled, although it was more of a torturous contortion than a genuine expression of joy. Out of all the deaths, Applejack was the one Twilight regretted the most. In the three years following Pinkie's death, she'd become a complete social recluse. At Princess Celestia's suggestion, Twilight resigned from princesshood to return to her castle in Ponyville. The strain was too much to bear, and it seemed her mentor had finally given up on her broken former-pupil.

Throwing herself into her studies was the only thing she could do. It was the only thing she knew how to do. Even though she lived minutes from Applejack, not once did she visit. It was too painful, knowing that she'd have to watch her friend wither away while she was forced to continue on. She contemplated suicide, but Twilight was too much of a coward to take her own life.

It was a vicious cycle, and there was no way out.

"I know what yer thinkin', Twi, and I ain't havin' none of it," Applejack's voice said, her facsimile fabricating merely paces away. Stepping forwards, she removed her hat and set it before her own grave.

Have none of it? She'd literally shut Applejack out, forcing her to die alone just as Twilight would have to. It was selfish and disgusting. It hurt so much, but the only way to make the pain somewhat bearable was to pretend it wasn't there. She was drowning herself in a world of illusions, and for three years it allowed her to survive.

"It was a mistake, I know!" Twilight snapped, voice straining. "What do you want from me? Did you come back to rub in the mistakes I made. I'm sorry... w... what more can I say?"

Applejack shook her head. "Ain't nopony blaming you for nothin'. We were young at heart, careless and free. I missed the way things used to be, and I wished every day that we could rewind the tape. My last years were a mistake too, sugarcube. I spent so much time workin' them fields 'cause it was the only way I could cope with losing everypony else."

Twilight's head cocked to the side. "You too? But... But I thought everypony else kept in touch?"

"That ain't true though. I wanted to reach out, to both you and Fluttershy. Y'all meant so much to me, and I was a coward," Applejack's said, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry..."

Twilight gasped, aching to hug Applejack. She restrained herself though, knowing that if she tried to hug the ghost then she'd disappear forever. "I guess we had drifted so far apart we forgot what it was like to be together. I miss you AJ, and I'll watch over the farm for you."

"I know you will," Applejack said, putting her hat back on as her ephemeral body began disintegrating. "I'm just a humble farm pony, I'll be forgotten before long. You're the princess though, Twi. You're the only pony who can make our friendship last forever..."

"Applejack? Applejack!" Twilight screamed, chasing after the specs of dust that had once been her lifelong friend. She had always been the honest one. If Applejack didn't blame her then maybe it was time for her to forgive herself. According to Celestia, Twilight's natural lifespan would extend another thirty to forty years, and she didn't want to live that time in constant misery.

Twilight turned, watching as a few autumn leaves drifted in the cool breeze. There was one more grave to visit, one more wound to reopen. Although, this was a wound that hadn't even closed yet. Dragging the anchors she called hooves back down the grassy path, Twilight arrived at the last slab of rock.

"Here lies Fluttershy
Kindest soul anypony was blessed to meet
Um. If that's okay with you, that is
982-1074"

1074.

That was already a year in the past. She'd been alone for a whole year, yet it felt like a century. In the wake of Applejack's death, Twilight held Fluttershy close and never let her go. She felt bad for imposing on her cottage, but she just couldn't bare to waste another moment of their lives.

She didn't want to make the same mistakes again.

"Oh, Twilight. Life is such a beautiful and rare thing," Fluttershy said, creeping up behind Twilight as she stared blankly at the tombstone. "Death touches us from the moment be begin to love. The only thing you can do is hold that love and cherish it for as long as it lasts."

Twilight could no longer contain herself, neither did she want to. Like a collapsing dam, she unleashed her emotion in a flood-like torrent of tears. On a patch of flowers, the ancient mare collapsed to her side, being forced to stare at the cruel reminder of another past failure.

"Some princess of friendship I am!" Twilight yelled in between sobs. "I... I deserve to be where you are now: rotting bones in a dark, cold coffin. I tried so hard, Fluttershy. I wanted to keep you safe, but in the end the stallion-in-black takes everypony..."

The sun had almost set, and the shadows cast from the trees were ominously enveloping her in a sea of darkness. It was poetic, a metaphoric justice for her shortcomings in life. She was forever doomed to wallow in the shadow of her dead friends. She was damned to walk the earth, a broken, heartless reflection of her former self.

"Twilight, those years I spent with you were some of the best in my life." Fluttershy's sweet voice almost made Twilight's ears bleed. They rang with pain, echoing that dreadful noise over and over. "I was so happy in my little old cottage with just you and the animals."

Her voice was unbearable.

Twilight pounded at the ground, digging a hole to bury herself in. It was crude, perhaps, and it definitely wouldn't get Rarity's seal of approval. None of that mattered now anymore. She had to die, she just had to. Her hooves started bleeding, and a few light droplets of rain found their way to her face.

Twilight looked up as stormclouds slowly consumed the sky, transforming the beautiful red horizon into grey. All of its color and life drained until it was scarcely a husk.

"How did you do it, Fluttershy? How did you remain the same calm pony, even after everypony else was gone? It killed me inside, literally tore me apart. I was so jealous of you, and I hated it."

Fluttershy smiled, her long mane sagging from the rain. "It hurt me too, Twilight. It hurt me more than you'll ever know. It hurt me more to see you though. You were squeezing me so tight, so consumed with preventing my death that you forgot to appreciate that I was alive."

"B... But you died," murmured Twilight, the patch of dirt at her feet slowly morphing into mud as the rain fell harder. "I t... tried so h... hard to stop it. I l... l... looked everywhere, anywhere. There had to be a spell to protect you from death. I tried to do the impossible, which made it hurt all the more when I failed..."

"Twilight," Fluttershy said, bending down to where Twilight was sat in the mud. "I didn't want to live forever. I just wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I tried to stop you from obsessing over it, but you just wouldn't listen to me—"

"—I wouldn't listen to anypony! And now you're all dead and I'm alone!" Twilight let her heavy head fall forwards, sprawling out on the floor as the brown water covered her body. It was filthy and cold, but she didn't care.

"Don't do this, Twilight. Not again!" Fluttershy shouted over the increasing roar of the downpour. "Do you remember all those years ago? We always fought the world together, the elements of harmony united against the evils of Equestria. We stood together back then, and we stand together now. We live on in your heart, and when you join us we'll all live on in Equestria's legacy."

Twilight shifted her head, and through one eye she could see Fluttershy's concerned gaze staring down like an angel from heaven. Was it her time to go yet? She was ready for the end, the great unknown. She was shivering and cold, numb from the pain of so many years of grief.

"Fl... Fluttershy. Please stay..."

The bond they shared was so strong it transcended death. How else could her friends be visiting her now? Maybe it was taking them all their energy and willpower just to keep the inter-world connection open, and all Twilight could do in return was wallow in a pit of rain and tears, resigned to a fate she knew wouldn't come.

She couldn't die, not until she'd made amends.

Shaking from the monumental effort, Twilight used magic to aid her jaded body to its feet. She looked Fluttershy in the eye, no longer afraid of mistakes that couldn't be changed. All that was left to do was find solace in the bond they shared. A bond that was stronger than the binding of reality itself.

Twilight smirked, bearing the same look of determination she bore when mastering a new spell. Although this time there was no spell, no scientific study, no friendship problem. Now there was one goal in her life.

Twilight Sparkle had to continue on. Not for herself, but for her friends who believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself. Until her dying breath she'd treasure the memories they made, comfortable in the knowledge that they were always with her, even when she couldn't see them.

"Twilight? Who are you talking to?"

Spinning around, Twilight's eyes widened, expecting another ghost. This time though, it was real flesh and blood.

She was a unicorn, face wrinkled and shoulders hunched from old age, but unmistakable nonetheless. "Starlight Glimmer?" Twilight asked, her voice barely a murmur against the battering assault of the storm.

Smiling, Starlight approached the mud-soaked Twilight and cast a spell to remove the repulsive brown substance. "It's been a long time, almost twenty years I think. I had always hoped to find you here some day."

Twilight cocked her head in confusion, but after a moment her eyes widened in realization. She remembered everything her friends had said about being with her in her heart, but there was one more friend she'd completely forgotten.

With a maniacal laugh, Twilight slowly hobbled the remaining distance between the two, relishing in every pang of pain that shot through her limbs and up her spine. The pain meant she was still alive, and for the first time in decades Twilight felt like she was actually living.

Starlight stumbled on impact, and the two fell back into the mud once more as the rain continued falling. Both ponies were laughing now, completely oblivious to the world around them. The night was grey and stormy, but the light from Twilight's happiness radiated throughout the cemetery, casting the whole area in a soft purple light.

It wouldn't be long until the stallion-in-black claimed them too, but every second until then would be spent cherishing the life they still had left. Twilight had made so many mistakes in her long life, but there was always time for redemption. Twilight and Starlight laid on their backs, a cloud break forming as the light from their friendship shined up into the sky. High in the sky their five friends were circling the beam, ascending into the heavens in a glorious dance.

"Goodbye, everypony. I miss you all, terribly so."

Twilight didn't feel sadness anymore though. Rather, a bittersweet sensation came over her as she remembered all the good times they had together. A lifetime of memories was more than enough to carry on their legacy. She closed her eyes, a smile on her face, as she and Starlight interlocked arms and laid side-by-side.

Rain and darkness surrounded them on all sides, but they were an eternal beacon of light.

No one knows how long they laid there, but in the end there were two more tombstones at the end of the path, rounding out the seven. In time they would be overgrown, but their beauty would never diminish. They would forever serve as a reminder of a bygone age in Equestrian history.

Author's Note

Written in honor of anyone who's lost a friend.
I lost one not too long ago, and not a day goes past that I don't wish I could rewind the tape and be there for him.
They live on in our hearts, always and forever.