Behold, Behold, the Flying Princess Cometh
by Shivered Timbers
These clouds were different from the ones in Cloudsdale or the Wonderbolt Academy. If somepony had asked Sky Stinger to explain how he knew this, he wouldn't have been able to; that's just how instinct works. Also, Sky Stinger was generally less than articulate when asked to talk about anything other than his own exploits.
"Funny you should mention exploits," said a somewhat familiar voice behind him.
"Was Sky Stinger narrating out loud again?" Sky asked as he spun to see Princess Twilight Sparkle strutting toward him on the strange clouds. She was squealing and bouncing in place; this seemed to Sky Stinger like very un-Princess-like behavior.
"That seems to Sky Stinger like very un-Princess-like behavior," said Sky Stinger.
"Sorry, sorry!" Twilight gave a short laugh and rolled her eyes. "I've just always wanted to do this since I became a princess, and all the other princesses are busy with important princess things, and it's finally my chance, so..." She cleared her throat.
"I can show you the world," she sang. "Shining, shimmering..." She frowned. "Wait, no, wrong song..."
She tapped her head, as though her hoof could knock the right words out. Sky Stinger just gawped.
"Well, anyway, nevermind all that." She cleared her throat again and stood straighter, her voice taking on a regal tone. "Look around you, Sky Stinger. Here in the Fluffy Princess Cloud Place, you will see the record of all the accomplishments which have led you to this moment."
Sky looked around as images slid past like screens from a film reel. Sky and Vapor Trail helping each other get into the Wonderbolts Academy. Young Vapor giving Sky the confidence and attention he needed as a neglected colt. Making up with Vapor after their fight.
Sky scratched his head. "Uh, these are all from that time I met you at the Academy." He glanced sideways at the Princess. "Is that, like... my only accomplishment?"
"Oh, no, of course not!" Twilight gave a nervous giggle. "I'm sure you've done much more than that! It's just, that's the only time you and I ever met, so I didn't have a lot to draw from. I can't do the whole omniscience thing like Celestia yet."
She moved over and looped an arm across his withers. "Just trust me when I say, what happens next? You totally deserve it."
Her horn glowed, and Sky Stinger felt himself being lifted off the clouds by her magic. He immediately flapped his wings until he was right-side-up and free of the magical pull. Twilight frowned.
"Um, could you not do that, please? I'm trying to cast a spell to give you your reward, here!"
"Sorry," Sky Stinger said, alighting on the cloud. "Pegasus instincts. Um, try again?"
Twilight did. This time, as Sky felt his wings bound to his sides, he tried to hold the panic down. Whatever 'reward' he was getting, surely it was something totally awesome that he absolutely deserved, so freaking out like a little baby wouldn't help things. The magic light around him grew brighter and brighter. Just before it flashed, Sky heard, "Congratulations, Sky Stinger! You are now the Princess of Flight!"
And with a crack of thunder, Sky Stinger was back in Cloudsdale.
Flapping wings that were much larger than they had been, Sky let Princess Twilight's last words sink in. The tip of a blue, spiraled horn was visible at the top of Sky's field of vision.
"I'm a princess!" Sky shouted. "I'm the Princess of Fl--"
Something occurred to Sky Stinger then. That had not been the familiar, expected voice just now. There was something... light about it. Feminine, perhaps.
With a cold chill, Sky traced a hoof backward. Over barrel and ribs, past stomach, down to...
On a cool summer's morning in Cloudsdale, the largest single population of pegasi in Equestria was treated to the Royal Canterlot Voice.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY DICK?"
"Vapor Trail! Vapor Trail!"
Vapor Trail awoke to a flurry of hooves and frantic shouting at her door. She stretched, groaned and looked at her clock.
"What damn fool filly's waking me up at this hour?"
"Vapor Trail, open up! It's Sky! Please, help!"
Okay, that didn't make any sense. Roused fully from slumber by the puzzle, she threw on a bathrobe and trundled to her front door. When she opened it, she was greeted by quite the sight.
Yes, the pony in front of her door was unmistakably a mare. She was also unmistakably colored exactly like Sky Stinger. Finally, she was unmistakably an alicorn.
"Sky Stinger has a lot of siblings," said Vapor, "but last I checked, he didn't have an alicorn for a twin sister."
Said alicorn rushed in through the open door, slamming it shut behind her. She slumped against it, panting, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Vapor took a step back.
"Are you... okay?"
"Vapor!" With a flap of powerful wings, the alicorn launched herself airborne, upside-down. It took her a few tries to correct her trajectory, until she landed beside Vapor and threw her arms around her neck. "It's me, Sky! That crazy Princess Twilight turned me into a princess! I mean, I'm a mare! You gotta help me, Vapor, you're the only pony I can trust!"
Vapor's eyes widened. If what this crazy mare was saying were true...
"Okay," Vapor said, steeling herself. "What did you say to me before ninth grade prom?"
The mare's eyes wandered the room. "Uh... I said that you shouldn't feel bad about not having a date, because you'd always have your wing pony?"
Vapor narrowed her eyes. "What did we do at your little brother's cuteceañera?"
"We didn't go." This time, the answer was immediate. "We escaped out the back and threw rocks in the lake, and no one realized we were gone until after sundown!"
Vapor couldn't suppress the grin on her face. "Who got the Academy pin first?"
The mare stuck out her chest. "Me, of course!"
With a leap, Vapor was on top of the mare, hugging and nuzzling her close. "Sky, it really is you! I'd never expect you to remember that I got pinned first!"
She stopped long enough to let her gaze rove over Sky's new body. She frowned. "Are you... really an alicorn? And a mare?"
"Yeah." Sky swallowed, and the tears started again. "Everything's gone, Vapor."
Vapor bit her lip and let her eyes rove once more. Oh yeah. 'Everything' had been replaced by quite a different 'everything' indeed.
"C'mon," she said, and helped Sky to her hooves. "Let's get you into something warm."
"...And then I ended up back in Cloudsdale." Sky set the mug of cocoa down on the coffee table and hung her head. "Now I've got huge wings I can't control, a stupid horn I can't use, and no dick!" She squeezed her eyes shut.
Taking a deep breath, Vapor also set her mug down, then lay a hoof on the sleeve of the bathrobe she loaned Sky.
"Sky Stinger," she said slowly, and waited for her friend to make eye contact. "You've always been my best friend, you know that?"
Sky nodded.
"And you know I'd never do anything with the intent to hurt you, right? That I'm here for you, one-hundred percent, always!"
Smiling a little, Sky nodded again.
"Okay." Vapor took another deep breath. "Because what I'm about to say is going to sound really selfish."
She gritted her teeth. She clamped her eyes shut. The words tumbled out.
"This is a really great opportunity because you're finally the mare I've always wanted you to be!"
Cracking an eye open, she got an eyeful of Sky staring open-mouthed at her.
"Wha..." was all Sky could say.
"Do you remember that time I locked myself in my room for a week and wouldn't come out for anyone, even you?"
Licking her lips, Sky said, "I think so?"
"I did nothing but eat ice cream and cry. For an entire week! And do you know why?"
Sky shook her head.
"Because I saw a penis for the first time!"
Sky's eyes traveled to her own crotch. "I, uh, don't get it."
Vapor leaned forward. "Thunderhead showed me his 'thunder head' during lunch period, behind the school bleachers, because he thought I was into him." She sat back. "I mean, I thought I was into him too, because I was into you at the time, and fillies are supposed to be into colts, but you were my friend and I couldn't do anything like that with you, right? But then I saw that thing and I knew, I immediately knew, that I was as gay as a spring chicken, and my life has been really, really confusing ever since, because I never stopped being into you, Sky!"
Vapor panted, sweat rolling down her forehead. Sky just scratched her head.
"So... You're saying you're into me? Like, romantically?"
Vapor barked a short laugh. "Sky, you may have always been a dense asshole, but you're my dense asshole."
Ignoring the implications of her phrasing, she stood and moved over to Sky's chair, placing her forehooves on its arm and gazing deep into the other mare's eyes. "Sky Stinger, I, Vapor Trail, am a raging forever-lesbian. But I still think we're compatible romantically, even if we're not sexually. Therefore, given your current state as a hot mare of the female sex, I just want to let you know that, yes, I am still into you. I have always been into you. I've just never wanted to fuck you. Until now." She swallowed, her cheeks glowing bright red. "I'm down to bone, is what I'm saying."
Sky turned away from her. "Yeah, not like I have a bone now..."
Vapor wrapped Sky's head in her wings and turned it back toward her. "Just say the word," she whispered, stroking Sky's cheek, "and I will give you the best orgasms of your entire life." She bit her lip. "I want you, Sky. I want this. I don't know if you'll ever be a stallion again, but I want to make the most of it. Don't you?"
Sky stared blankly at her for an entire minute.
"I heard something about orgasms in there."
Vapor nodded, growing excited. "Yes! The best maregasms you could ask for!"
Sky nodded slowly. "Maybe that'll take my mind off where my dick went."
Vapor grabbed Sky by the hoof and took her up to the bedroom so fast, their robes were left behind.
The bedroom was filled with the high-pitched squeal of a mare having the best orgasm of her life.
"I just touched it!" Vapor said, backing off and staring at Sky's clit like it was dynamite. "Lightly! Once!"
Wiping the drool from her mouth, Sky mumbled, "It's like I have a hundred dicks shrunk to the size of a pin and everything's on fire and love and amazing!"
Vapor just gaped. "Wow, you're easy."
Sky flailed her arms on the bed. "Do it again!"
A slow smile spread across Vapor's face. "I thought you'd never ask."
She lowered herself between Sky's legs, breathing in the heady musk of her lover's orgasm. Sky's soft folds were parted ever so slightly, inviting her in. Vapor loosed her tongue and lapped slowly at the juices coating Sky, who moaned and clutched the covers.
"More!"
Ah, to be young and horny again, was all Vapor could think as she licked up and down Sky's slit. Not that she wasn't horny right now. Vapor was definitely horny, and she snaked her hoof down to her own clit, rubbing it feverishly. It was difficult, pleasing herself while going easy on Sky. It was Sky's first time as a mare and all and just about anything would set her off.
And Vapor wanted to savor this.
"Ohh!" Sky moaned, her head rolling back and forth. "Ohh, Vapor! I wish you could feel what I'm feeling."
"Uh," said Vapor, pausing her licking. "I do also have a vagina, you know."
"You do?"
Vapor would have facehoofed right then if it wasn't the least sexy thing she could have done. "Yes. That's what makes us both mares, after all!"
"Bring your vagina over here," Sky slurred, unmoving. "I wanna make you feel as good as I feel."
Vapor couldn't say no to that. Not only was she aching for satisfaction of her own, Sky was just too clueless to be anything other than adorable.
Hiking her tail up, Vapor clambered onto the bed and shifted her hindquarters around until her nether regions were lined up with Sky's muzzle. She settled very slowly over her partner's face, ignoring the muffled "Whoa".
"Is that what I look like now?"
"Probably," Vapor said with a roll of her eyes.
She was lowering her head back to Sky's pussy when she felt it: the soft caress of a tongue against her own folds.
Vapor's whole body tensed, a coil ready to spring. Not because she hadn't been prepared for it; not even because Sky was a particularly talented lover. It was the realization, as innate as her cutie mark, that she was finally getting what she'd wanted all her life. This was Sky's tongue, Sky's touch, and she suddenly found herself on a hair trigger.
When next her lips touched Sky's, they came together.
After three rounds of the best sex of his -- her; that was going to take some getting used to -- life, Sky Stinger lay back in Vapor Trail's bed, staring at the ceiling, a smiling, sleeping Vapor curled against her.
And all she could think was, How will Sky Stinger's life change now?
The mare thing was obviously Problem Number One. If it couldn't be reversed and wouldn't wear off -- and Sky had no reason to assume it would -- she would have to learn all kinds of new things. Well, mostly new bathroom-related things. The sex-related things had been demonstrated quite well that night, and if nothing else, she had to admit sex as a mare was about the most fantastic thing she had ever experienced in her entire life. She would have to ask Vapor for hygiene tips.
But not only that, Sky was a princess now! Celestia only knew what kind of responsibilities came with that! Dignitaries, servants, laws... Would Sky have to address Princess Celestia by her name? That would be weird. And how would she ever learn something as complicated as magic?
Would she get a castle? Have to have one built? Where would she put it? What kind of money did being a Princess bring in, anyway?
"Thou wert never a princess to begin with, Sky Stinger."
"Marmalade!" Sky Stinger exclaimed, jumping at the low, dusky voice coming from right next to her ear.
Princess Twilight Sparkle, hard to make out in the dim moonlight, tittered softly. Vapor Trail, for her part, muttered something unintelligible and rolled until she had pulled all the covers off of Sky and wrapped herself tightly in them.
"What are you doing here?" Sky hissed, trying to keep her voice as low as possible while still conveying the proper amount of shock and anger. "And what do you mean? Are you reading Sky Stinger's mind again?"
"I've always wanted to say that." Twilight giggled again, likewise keeping her voice low. "To answer your first question, I came here to check and see how your first night together was going. And I'm pleased to say you two are just so cute!"
Sky's face flushed hotly. "H-how much did you actually see?"
"That's for you to wonder, and me to write fanfiction about!" Twilight snickered. "And as for your second question, of course you're not really a princess." She snorted and rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I just cast a sex-change spell on you so Vapor Trail could finally get the hook up!"
"But..." Sky's eyes dilated. "All the clouds! And my life flashing before my eyes!"
"Just my own sick sense of humor." Twilight patted Sky's cheek. "I like to amuse myself sometimes. Horn's fake, too."
Sky lay back in the bed with a heavy breath. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about building a castle."
"It's your own fault for freaking out over that stuff, anyway." Twilight snorted again. "A stallion could never be a princess, after all!" She leaned on the bed, giving him a conspiratorial smile. "So how do you like being a mare?"
"Well, the sex was great." Sky smacked her lips, the taste of her lover still a strong memory.
"I'm really glad it worked out." Twilight nodded, leaning in closer. "Vapor was absolutely beside herself when she came to me for help. Seriously, you'd have to be a super-dense asshole not to notice how she felt!"
Rather than reply, Sky Stinger said, "You know my name's not really Sky Stinger, right?"
"Of course not." Twilight chuckled and stood. "It's the kind of terrible name a foal with an even worse name would come up with for themselves."
Sky Pants nodded. It was too true. "Can I have my dick back?"
"No."
Somehow, Sky was not surprised.
"Buuuuut..." There was the telltale light flash and twinkle noise of magic happening. Vapor Trail yelped and sat up.
"I hear Vapor Trail enjoys pegging," Twilight continued, backing away with a devilish grin. "So she can have it!"
With a flash, she vanished, leaving Sky alone with Vapor.
"Oh, Sky," Vapor moaned, placing a hoof on Sky's. Beneath the covers, something stirred.
Sky had the sudden thought that her asshole was about to get a whole lot less dense.
Author's Note
Yarr, I ain't back in the saddle, mateys, I never left! We sails again with full winds into salty seas! This be me mother's fault. She didn't raise me right, ya-harr!
A big booty o' thanks t'me shipmate Enigmatic Otaku f'r'is help!
And now, a note o' bay neigh: Don't feel the need t'read the next chapter, iffin' ye found this one satisfyin'. Only strange seas and stranger winds ahead, mateys! This here be a full story and all.
Until next we sets sail, remember: keep the winds t'yer back and her yer back t'the wall, lessin' yer first mate plunder it in the night! Arrrr!
The Ending Syeekoh Made Me Write
Author's Note
BE YE WARNED
To those who venture beyond these lines, only madness waits for ye!
The Ending Syeekoh Made Me Write
In the morning, Sky Stinger was a stallion once more. He had his dick back; Vapor didn't. All was well with the world.
Minus Sky learning that, unlike sex-change spells, a good, hard ass reaming is forever.
Thus, he limped back home to nurse his wounds, physical, mental and spiritual, in silence.
Later that day...
"Sky?" Vapor called to the empty living room as she set hoof in Sky's apartment. "Are you home? The door was open, so I let myself in, since you having sex with me means I own your body and property and everything now."
Despite it being mid-afternoon, no window was open and all the curtains were drawn. As Vapor's eyes adjusted to the gloom within, no sign of Sky was forthcoming. "Hello? I know you're not a mare anymore, or at least I assume so because I didn't have a dick this morning." She swallowed. "I'm glad I don't. It could hear things. Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could braid each others' manes or something, to celebrate your return to, and the return of, your stallionhood?"
As she trotted further in, she could make out shapes on the walls. They were long and thin, like... swords?
Yes, swords, displayed on mounting brackets in sheaths, each paired with a much smaller dagger. Tassels hung off the hilts, and on many, she could just make out some sort of unfamiliar, squiggly script. A stylized dragon was printed on one.
Vapor became aware of a thumping backbeat from elsewhere in the apartment. Following her ears, she came to a closed door with dim light shining through the cracks around it. She knocked.
"Sky, are you in there?" Why did she suddenly feel like a mother checking up on her live-at-home adult son?
When further knocks elicited no reply, she gathered her courage and opened the door.
The stench of spunk and shame immediately assaulted her nostrils, and she had to wrap a hoof over her muzzle lest it overwhelm her. Hard rock music blared from somewhere within. The bedroom itself was cramped, not so much because it was small, but because it was lined with bookshelves, each of them filled with plastic figurines of one description or another.
One shelf held large robots; another was covered in leering monster figures. Yet another still sported various statuettes of mares in provocative clothing. Many of them had full, prominent teats dangling between their legs. Vapor was not exactly appreciative.
"I ate a green chip, Vapor," said a nasal voice beside her.
Sky Stinger sat before a drawing board like a gargoyle perched on a roof. His usual mohawk was compressed in the middle by a pink plastic headband. The two felt feline ears attached to it gave the impression of having two ears too many. His eyes were red-rimmed and bleary, and the desk around the board was littered with empty paper coffee cups, tissues and white takeout cartons.
"I'm going to die."
Vapor was beginning to think the same thing about herself. She tried to say something, but the music was too loud.
"Can you turn it down?" she shouted.
Sky drew forth a small remote and tapped a button. The volume decreased, though the music did not go away entirely.
"I'm playing Stryper's entire discography on repeat," he said. "It helps me channel my angst."
"I'm working on a manga." He held aloft a piece of paper in such a way that she couldn't see anything printed on it. "It's called Forever Lonely Kudasai. Wanna see?"
Her dick had been able to hear the mad whispers of unknowable creatures lurking beyond the stars. This was way worse. And this is what Vapor had wanted.
"I'd love to!" she said, backing out of the room. "But I just remembered I have to wash my everything, forever! I'll see you later, Sky!"
With that, she was gone.
What she missed was Sky pulling one of his figurines down from the shelf. Her name was Mia. She wore a schoolgirl outfit and had the third-largest teats of any of his figures. He cradled the plastic mare to his chest, idly stroking her dugs as a single tear slid down his cheek. In the dark dankness of his own personal hell, Sky Stinger whispered to himself.
"Vapor-chan kawaii."
The Bloody Friggin' End
