Harold's Homicidal Hotel of Happiness

by Vertigo22

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, Dark, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 1848

Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle stay at a hotel owned by a peculiar man.

After a long night of driving, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle stop at a hotel. Inside, they meet the hotel's owner—a peculiar man named Harold.

However, in order to stay at the hotel, they must stay for five days. Realizing the warmth of the indoors beats the inside of a car, they decide to stay at Harold's Homicidal Hotel of Happiness.

Edited by TheWraithWriter

Published 2016-12-01 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-01 19:30:01 UTC

Hesitant Visitors

On a brutally cold Winter night, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle drove a long stretch of road on their way home from a music concert. The sky was crystal clear, and the light of the moon pierced through the trees.

“So, Sunset,” Twilight asked as she lay back in the Camaro’s seat. “How long until we get home? I want to study before our test next week.”

“I have no idea, Twilight,” Sunset replied before she yawned. “Soon, I hope I'm getting tired.”

Twilight let out a sigh and sat back up in her seat. “I really wish we hadn't taken the highway back,” she said as she rested her head against her arm. As she looked out the window, she noticed something. “Is that a hotel up there?”

Sunset slowed down and looked out the window. Sure enough, there was a small hotel tucked between two trees. The parking lot was mostly empty, with a single car occupying it, and the entire placed looked decrepit—as though it had been neglected for years.

“Want to stay there?” Twilight asked. “I doubt we’ll find another place to rest for a while, and I heard that there's a possibility of a really bad blizzard tonight. Besides, I'm beginning to get tired myself.”

“I guess,” Sunset said. She pulled into the parking lot and turned off her car. “Though this place looks like it's been the site of a bunch of murders,” she said as she got out of the car. She opened a backdoor and grabbed a bag full of clothes. “That, or it was ripped straight out of an old horror movie.”

Twilight got out of the car and looked at the hotel, which didn't have a sign. She shrugged and and grabbed a bag of her own from the backseat before she walked into the building alongside Sunset.

The lobby was a sad sight. The rug was tattered and torn, and covered a fraction of the cracked cobblestone floor. The walls had several different colors on them in random places, and resembled a multi colored rorschach test.

The ceiling, however, wasn't painted at all, and was instead wooden; chipped and crudely nailed. Duct tape held a few pieces of wood in place, barely.

Behind a desk that, unlike everything else, was neatly organized and seemed to belong from a completely different building, was a man with purple skin and jet black hair. “Ah, welcome to the Harold's Homicidal Hotel of Happiness!” he said before he let out a maniacal laugh. “I’m the owner and proprietor of this place—Harold! How may I help you two wonderful ladies on this lovely night?”

Sunset and Twilight stared in disbelief at Harold—as though he'd just announced a DEFCON Level 1 warning. They both slowly turned to face each other. “We, uh, would like a room,” Sunset said as she finally turned back to face Harold, who still had a preposterously large smile on his face.

“Oh, a genuine customer!” Harold said as he got a room key for the two girls. “Just so you know, you can't leave for five days. My policy is that everyone has to stay for that period of time, or I kick them out and charge them extra for the room!”

"But we don't want to stay for five days!” Sunset cried. “We just need a place to stay!”

“Well, it's either the warmth of here, or your car, and I doubt can combat the incoming blizzard,” Harold said. “I heard it's going to be really nasty! So, perhaps five days with Uncle Harold isn't as bad as your minds make it out to be.”

The two girls sighed. “Fine, whatever,” Sunset said as she handed Harold some money.

Harold cheered. “Oh boy! Maybe now I can finally become an actual business and not be breaking federal law by having this building on government property!”

“Wait, this is government property!?” Twilight asked, her eyes as wide as a walrus's tusk.

“I only found out it was government property when I found disposed nuclear waste in the back,” Harold said. “On the bright side, I'm eighty percent sure that it hasn't contaminated the water supply!”

Sunset facepalmed. “Why the heck did you build a hotel on government land?” she asked. “And what do you mean ‘nuclear waste’!?”

“I mean I mistook dozens of glow sticks for nuclear waste, and that I found a bunch of warning signs that this land is usually used for military training,” Harold said. “Now, your room is just up those stairs. Enjoy your stay at the top rated hotel by my two satisfied mannequin customers that I totally didn't steal from a Macy's!”

“You know what, I think we’ll, uh, pass on the room,” Sunset said nervously. “I just remembered that I have a, uh, friend to visit in the hospital!”

However, before she could leave, Twilight grabbed her arm. “Sunset, you were falling asleep behind the wheel. I can't drive, and I don't want to even attempt with an impending blizzard,” she said. “I know he's creepy, but we should at least get one night's rest indoors.”

Sunset sighed again. “Fine, fine.” She turned to face Harold, who slipped something underneath his desk.

“Oh, this is most terrific!” he said. “I was worried I'd have to repaint the basement walls again. That wood chipper makes such a mess.”

Sunset and Twilight both gulped. They walked up the stairs behind Harold and made their say to their room. They unlocked the second door on the right and stepped inside.

The room had a single bed, a nightstand, a wooden floor that appeared to have been torn up in a few sections, and a mannequin in the corner that had a smiley face drawn in it in red marker.

The ceiling light barely illuminated the entire room, and the ceiling fan was broken, as though someone had sliced off the actual fan and replaced it with planks of wood from the floor.

“Well, at least the bed looks inviting,” Twilight said as she walked over to it and put her bag on it before she examined it. On the mattress, she noticed a tag. “Oh, I see.”

“What is it, Twi?” Sunset asked as she walked over.

“I'm pretty sure this bed's stolen,” Twilight answered as she stood back up. “It has a tag from some high-class furniture store.”

Sunset placed her phone on the nightstand and put her bag on the bed. She looked up and stared at the mannequin. “I wonder what Rarity would think of that,” she mused. “Think she'd find it fabulous?”

Twilight looked over at it and shivered. “I hate mannequins,” she said. “Can we move it somewhere where it doesn't look like it's staring at me?”

Before Sunset could speak, a gentle knock came from the door. She and Twilight both got up and opened the door to reveal Harold, who had a silver tray on a small cart. “I figured you two would like a bite to eat before bed,” he said. “So I made you two some sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to be exact.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Sunset said as she took the tray. She handed it to Twilight, who went back to the bed and placed it on the nightstand. “Very thoughtful of you.”

“It's nothing,” Harold replied before he held put two glasses full of juice. “I even got you both some apple juice. I poured it with extra care—so you don't have to worry about it having been handled recklessly.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow and took the two glasses of juice. “Um… I wasn't worried to begin with?”

“Oh, nonsense! Missy told me that nobody can stand it when people get something when it's been handled poorly!” Harold said with a laugh. “Oh, how I miss her.”

Sunset took a few steps back. “Well…” She handed a glass of juice to Twilight. “We’ll, uh, enjoy our meal.”

“Okay,” Harold said. “I'll be back in a little while for the tray. Enjoy your meal!”

Sunset nodded and walked up to the door and shut it. “He really creeps me out,” she said as she walked back over to the bed. “Like… the last time I was creeped out by someone like that was when I saw a mime.”

Twilight chuckled. “Mimes aren't that bad,” she said as she grabbed the tray. She took the top off and smiled. “Oh, these look good.”

“Yeah,” Sunset said as she grabbed a sandwich. “At least his food isn't as weird as he is.”

Twilight nodded and, after a few minutes, both girls has finished their food.

“So, how much do you want to bet that the sandwiches were poisoned?” Sunset asked with a giggle.

Twilight chuckled. “Nah, they tasted normal enough,” she said. “But even if they were, I doubt I could pay you if I was dead.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Come on, don't apply logic with a joke,” she said. “It's-”

Once again, Sunset was interrupted by a knock at the door. She and Twilight got up again to see Harold with a cart again. “I came by to see if you'd finished,” he said. “And to make sure you had a wonderful meal.”

“Well, yes, we just finished,” Twilight said. “The sandwiches were fantastic.”

“Terrific,” Harold said. “Now, you two have a great night. I'll be in my own room if you need me.”

“Wait, you live here?” Sunset asked.

“Well, I'd be lying if I said if I didn't build this place to try to evade taxes,” Harold replied. “Now, don't ask too many questions. Missy did that and I had to get rid of her.”

Sunset and Twilight exchanged perplexed looks. “Um, alright,” Sunset said. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Harold nodded and left, a smile on his face.

Sunset shut the door again and locked it. “You think he killed ‘Missy’?” she asked as she went to the bed.

Twilight shrugged as She hopped onto it. “I hope not,” she said. “I'd rather not be in a building with a psycho killer.”

“Oh well, at least this bed’s cozy,” Sunset said as she flopped onto the bed when she remembered something. “Oh, hey, what about Harold's wood chipper comment?”

“Maybe he was just joking,” Twilight said as she pulled the blanket over herself. “I hope.”

“Well, perhaps we can do something tomorrow to get our minds off of him,” Sunset said as she nestled under the covers. “Maybe we can somehow sneak away, and leave”

“I dunno, Sunset,” Twilight said. “The weather's really bad right now. I don't think it'd be safe to drive.”

Sunset sighed. “Fair enough,” she said. “Oh well, good night.”

“Good night, Sunset,” Twilight replied. With that, the two drifted off to sleep.

Author's Note

The coming chapters will be longer. I just didn't want the beginning chapter to cover the first night and following morning.

That said, leave a comment telling me what you thought! I'd greatly appreciate any and all feedback on how to improve the coming chapters!