“Dear Princess Celestia,

I am writing this letter knowing I won’t be able to send it to you after I’m done. If we fail, it might never make its way into your hooves, or perhaps only long after our defeat. I hope Equestria still stands if that happens, and that one day it will be restored to its former glory.

The elements of harmony might be the only weapon we have left. It is only due to your wisdom and foresight that they are now in my possession, otherwise, our situation would look even more dire. Princess, I will do my best to unite all six bearers, and together, we will use the elements to banish this evil once again. If at the time you read this, Discord is still in power, then you know that, at least, we tried.

This may be the last letter I am ever writing to you.

In love and adoration

Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight gave a deep sigh after she was done, even covering her eyes for a moment.

“Do you want to add anything, Spike?” she asked from behind her hoof.

“Add? Like... what?”

“Perhaps just your name,” Vi suggested, her voice less steady than normally. “It’s like Twilight said. This might be the last time you get to write to the princess.”

“Uh... okay.” Spike picked his quill back up, but before he could put its tip onto the paper, everything suddenly turned dark, save for the sliver of moonlight which was now piercing through the window.

“I’ll just add ‘and Spike’ at the end,” the dragon said as Twilight turned on the light. “... got it. It’s ready.”

“I’m glad. It’s good that you also get to say goodbye, Spike. Well...” She took a deep breath. Now we have to leave it here.” Twilight looked around, as if thinking about this for the first time. “Where should we put it?”

“It has to be a place that Discord won’t find,” Vi said, “but which Celestia will find if she comes looking for it. Perhaps somewhere that has symbolic value to both of you... that Discord doesn’t know about.”

“I know,” Twilight breathed, lifting the letter out of Spike’s grasp with her magic. “Come with me.”

She led them downstairs, into the main room of the library. After just a few moments, she pulled a book out of its shelf.

“This was Celestia’s first gift to me,” she said quietly, letting a few moments pass while she glanced at the cover. “The secrets of levitation. She will... know that this is a place to hide something. I’ll put the letter in here. It’s the perfect place.”

“Alright,” Vi said as soon as the book was put back on its shelf, “we should get going. The longer we wait, the more chance Discord has to figure out what’s coming for him.”

“Yes,” Twilight said in agreement, “yes, let’s go. But be careful outside, we don’t know what obstacles we’ll meet. Other ponies might have already been corrupted, and won’t be themselves anymore. Don’t get distracted, just go to where you want as quickly as possible.”

“Wait,” Vi said as Twilight was about to open the door, “we should decide how to do this first. I think we need to split up.”

“You’re right. Spike, can you go to Sweet Apple Acres and get Applejack? That way you won’t have to go through town.”

“Really? Can’t you teleport, Twilight?”

“Discord has removed every anchor I had set up. I renewed the one at the library, but nowhere else. Please, Spike? Can you do this?”

“Okay...”

“Vi, can you get Rainbow Dash?”

“Leave it to me! I’ll go around town, too, to be safer.”

“Right. And I’ll go get the other three. I’ll have to go directly through Ponyville, but I can use magic and short-range teleportation if I have to. I’ll get Fluttershy first, and pick up the others on the way back.”

“Alright then,” Vi said, “let’s do this!”

“Uh... guys?” Spike’s gaze bounced between them. “A-are you sure about this?”

“Oh, Spike. I know you’re scared! But we have to do this. Gathering everypony together is the only way to use the elements of harmony.”

“I know! It’s just... is this really the best way to-”

“Spike,” Vi cut her off, “we have to do this. Can we count on you?”

“Uh... if you both think so... okay, I guess.”

“Thanks, Spike,” Twilight said, “that’s very brave of you.” Outside, the sun did a momentary rise, causing the world to change from dark to bright and back to dark again in a matter of seconds. “Then let’s do it. For Equestria!”

She opened the door. Even in the relative darkness, the change that Ponyville had undergone was impossible to miss: the house closest to the library was levitating directly above ground... upside down.

“It’s bright enough to see,” Twilight whispered. “Spike, go this way. Vi, you should head for the train station, go across the rails, and make an arc around town. I’ll go straight through.”

“We’ll meet up at the library,” Vi whispered. “Good luck, everyone.”

“Good luck,” Twilight whispered back, then she took off, quickly disappearing out of sight.

“Come on,” Vi said to Spike, “we’ll go the opposite way.”

“Vi...” Spike began as they both headed out of town. Here, the landscape looked considerably more normal. “You seem... different.”

Vi halted in her tracks, turning towards the dragon.

“I know, Spike. I know. But trust me. I’m doing the best I can. I promise.”

“Okay...”

They walked together in silence until the train station came into view.

“Alright. Just go left from here, Spike, until you cross the river. Try to sneak past the school. After that, I think it’s fine if you use the main road. Get Applejack directly to the library. You’ll probably be the first one back, so just stay there and close the door.”

“Okay...”

“Good luck, Spike,” Vi said, and before he could respond, she was gone.

With the dragon out of sight, Vi sped up her pace, aiming to cross the rails in a reasonable distance to the station’s platform. Just a few seconds later, however, the sun rose up once again, revealing the station to be entirely deserted, causing the filly to instead make a beeline for the platform, crossing it directly.

During the next fifteen minutes, the sun repeated its cycle three more times. All the while, Vi continued her journey around Ponyville, trying to keep the town at a steady but safe distance. While it was dark, she would wander off course a bit, but never enough to lose sight of her target or to get close enough to draw attention. Occasionally, random surges of light could be seen from town, giving her an opportunity to adjust her course.

Before long, Vi closed in on her destination, but when she did so, two things became readily apparent: one, Rainbow Dash wasn’t home, and two, Discord had already seen it fit to give this place his personal touch. Standing on the ground in momentary darkness, all that Vi could discern was a bizarre entanglement of moving streams of glowing, rainbow-colored something. It looked as if Discord had made a literal substance out of a rainbow, perhaps turned it into a liquid which somehow reflected all of its original colors as it was moving.

When the sun finally rose, it only made the structure look even more absurd. What had once been a beautiful home now no longer even resembled something which a pony could live in; it was an utterly chaotic constellation with dozens of gaps at seemingly random places where the rainbow was seeping through, and some that it poured out of or in... and Vi just stood there, witnessing the absurdity taking place in front of her eyes. Then, as if to spare her the sight, the sun decided to cut its cycle short, and Vi took this as her cue to turn around and finally head straight towards town.

Vivid screams greeted her ears as she was approaching Ponyville. Their source turned out to be a zonular structure of massive proportions, a sort of wheel but without spokes. It was spinning, seemingly on its own accord, and attached to its inner side were a dozen transparent cabins. Three of them were occupied by one pony each, at least two of which audibly horrified, but there seemed to be no way for them to escape. Through means impossible to decipher, the wheel itself was omitting light, enough for somepony to watch the involuntary spectacle. Instead, Vi only sped up her pace as she continued on her way forward.

While the area outside of town had been largely unchanged, its insides had undergone a radical transformation. At least two third of all buildings had been altered in some way or another, each one with its own unique absurdities. Some were hovering above ground, some were upside-down, some were spinning, some emitting sounds. One house was pouring solid clouds out of its chimney, another had been transformed to resemble facial features, and could be heard breathing as Vi made her way past it. So many things were lit up that it was never too dark to see.

Then the sun rose back up, and now Vi could see other ponies, too. Despite what Twilight had said, none of them appeared to pose an immediate threat: most just seemed to be trying to make sense of their new circumstances. Some were clearly afraid, horrified even, that their normal life had been stripped away; others seemed merely annoyed, perhaps trusting that none of the changes would be permanent, that the elements would defeat the one pulling the strings, just like they had done last time. Some were talking to each other, others seemed to want to hide but couldn’t or didn’t want to enter their now inhospitable homes. Others still appeared to be enjoying themselves, like one mare who was laughing while a plant in her own garden was showering her with water. One thing nopony was showing, however, was any sign of a direct influence on her mind.

Vi looked around while she was moving, making sure to keep an eye out in all directions, including above, but Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Even as she finally arrived back at the library, only half of the elements, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity, were waiting for her.

“Twilight!” Vi called, breaking into a full gallop to bridge the distance between them as quickly as possible. “Rainbow Dash isn’t home. And her home isn’t even a home anymore. I have no idea where she went.”

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Twilight replied, “but that’s bad news. She wasn’t there last time, either. I hope Discord didn’t get to her again.”

“But we need her to use the elements of harmony!” Rarity exclaimed. “Twilight, what do we do?”

“I don’t know. We have to find her. But we’re also missing Pinkie Pie, and we need Spike to come back with Applejack. Only when we’re all together can the elements work.”

“Okay...”

At once, all heads turned into the direction of the voice. A moment later, there was a puff, and Discord himself materialized out of thin air.

“... are you guys serious?!”

“Discord!” Twilight spat. “What have you done to-”

“Oh, shut your mouth, Twilight!” Discord clicked his claws, and at once Twilight was pulled upwards, bringing her face-to-face with the draconequus. “You promised me you’d make this interesting! Interesting, Twilight! Is this your idea of interesting? Trying the same thing you did last time? And to think I judged you a worthy opponent!”

“Let her go!” Vi shouted.

Discord turned towards her.

“And you... I may be even more disappointed in you than I am in Twilight. You know what?” He snapped his fingers again, causing both Twilight and Rarity to be pulled into a cage of glass that had appeared in front of him, hovering several yards above ground. Rarity’s screams were quickly cut off as, with yet another snap, a final wall was added, trapping both mares inside. A third snap, and a giant boulder appeared above the prison, slowly moving downward.

“Explain to me what you were thinking, Vi, and better come up with a good story, because otherwise-”

“You won’t do it! You don’t kill ponies!”

Discord’s body bent downward in an impossible manner so that he was face to face with the filly.

“I don’t kill ponies, you say? Listen up, child, for this is the truest thing I’ve ever said to you: you cannot even begin to imagine just how bored I am this time. Don’t be fooled by whatever Twilight has told you. That was then, this is now. So try me.”

VI was eyeing the boulder as it was moving closer towards the cage, until it had crossed at least half of the distance. Fluttershy’s gaze was likewise directed at the object, horror written all over her face.

“Alright,” Vi finally said, and when she did, both her voice and her expression changed. “Alright. Fine. We were trying to have a good narrative. Okay?”

“Narrative?” Discord asked, his menacing tone now replaced by genuine confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We were trying to look as heroic as possible, hoping that would make everything work out. You know, going for the universe’ bias.”

“Ohhhh.” With a snap, the boulder disappeared. “I see... and you really thought that would work, did you?”

“No. But do you have a better idea?”

“I suppose not...” He didn’t sound angry anymore as he said this, his tone was now difficult to decipher. “To tell you the truth, VI, I had actually forgotten that I even added this little quirk.”

“You added it?” Vi echoed. “You gave the universe a childish sense of justice? Why?”

“I thought it was funny,” Discord replied, giving the word a strange emphasis. “It would never work to defeat me – but I can hardly blame you for trying, now can I? You know what? I still can’t say that you were particularly entertaining, but I suppose you did the best you could.”

With another click of his claws, Twilight was teleported back onto the ground,

“What about Rarity?” Vi asked, confirming with a glance that the fashionista was indeed still trapped.

“Cut me a bit of slack here, alright?”

“Slack?” Twilight echoed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that the fashion pony is terribly annoying, Twilight. Admit it or not, but we both know it’s true.”

“We do not!” Twilight spat. “And how are we supposed to use the elements of harmony without her?”

“Why, how indeed,” Discord said sarcastically. “Whatever makes you think that I want you to use the elements, Twilight?”

“You said you wanted us to have a real shot! How are we going to have a chance without the elements?”

“That’s what I want you to figure out yourselves. Jeez, Twilight! I’m beginning to suspect your little friend here really has more in her than you do. For your information, I wasn’t even intending to leave Rarity in there for longer than a few hours. Now... I think I’ll still release her, but I’ll change her personality when I do. She’ll be just like last time! Won’t that be fun?”

Twilight’s eyes were shooting daggers at him, but she kept her mouth shut.

“Oh, don’t look so grim, Twilight. If you try hard enough, I’m sure you can turn her back to normal again... though, between us, I’m not sure that it’s worth the effort.” He didn’t sound malicious, but there also was no sign of empathy in his tone, and if anything, Twilight’s anger merely seemed to amuse him. “Even you have to admit that she was far more entertaining in her greedy form... well, in any case, you two better go and come up with something more interesting now, you hear? And Twilight, just in case you haven't realized...” Although he was already walking away, another head of his popped up out of nowhere next to Twilight, finishing his sentence for him: “... nothing about this is meant to be fair.”

Author's Note

[...] You could put together any kind of mind, including minds with properties that strike you as very absurd. You could build a mind that would not deceive you; you could build a mind that maximizes the flourishing of a happy intergalactic civilization; you could build a mind that maximizes paperclips, on purpose; you could build a mind that thought that 51 was a prime number, but had no other defect of its intelligence—if you knew what you were doing way, way better than we know what we’re doing now.