The pizza man pulled up to the proper address, sighing as he did. "Welp, here we go..." Was it his first time on the job? Not exactly. He was no rookie but certainly not a long-time worker like his co-workers. But this was his first time to this particular address, within this quiet little housing district just a few miles away from Canterlot High... "322 Horseshoe Housing, room 13..." Yes, this fabled room has stirred quite a lot of odd stories from the other workers. They tell him that nobody's ever delivered there successfully before, due to the two people living there. He never really received a solid story, just odd tales that seem to differ from worker to worker. One claimed that a drug-cartel was being held there the moment he had arrived, another said that domestic violence had flared between the two living there. One even went as far as to claim that a terrorist organization was stationed there! Whatever the hell goes on behind those walls, he wanted no part in it. Just deliver the food and get the hell outta there, no asking questions and no getting involved... Hopefully.

Our brave hero stepped out of the car, three pizza pies and a box of breadsticks in tow. The building complex was just your everyday motel but with a pool at the center of the lot, it wasn't anything big but it could hold a few families without getting cramped. "Alright... You can do this." He stepped onto the pavement, not even a moment later he heard the distant screech of police sirens, which made him freeze in place. They were getting closer as well, the little man inside his head screamed at him to cut his losses and book it before he becomes a victim to whoever the hell lived in that house. To his surprise however, they raced passed the district and into the night... The delivery boy sighed. "Gotta be brave... You can do this."

That's when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, he nearly dropped the food at the sudden contact. "Hehe, hey..." He gulped, too petrified to give an answer. "Hey! Turn a... 'hiccup' I said turn around!" Regardless of whether he wanted to or not, the man's assailant forced him to face... Her? "Wha... You don't look like the land-lord." He was faced with a pair of eyes, though they seemed rather... 'Out of it' at the moment. "Hrmm... Oh yeah, you're the... The pizza dude!" The woman was a bit taller than him, purple skin and long, purple hair cascading down her back. Quite the looker she was, though judging from the disheveled clothes and awful breath she was piss drunk, and wait why was she smiling all of a sudden? "Mhmhm, you're not a-'hic!'... N-not a bad lookin' one, either.~" The woman looked him over with hungry eyes, and his gut told him that she wasn't hungry for pizza right now. "You're pretty lucky, you know. If I wasn't so hammered right now I'd- 'hic!'... I'd actually pay for that pizza."

"You... You don't have the money?" The guy asked, legs shaking with a forced smile. "S-sorry, but if that's the case than I can't give you the-" The girl grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him close, the pungency of her breath much stronger now. "D... D-don't hurt me!" He mumbled out, facing away and keeping his eyes shut like he was about to eat a knuckle-sandwich, which he may very well end up doing if this girl was an aggressive drunk.

But, much to his surprise and horror, the girl simply chuckled at his reaction. "You're so cute when you're scared..." She reached to her back pocket and took a swig from a tin flask, the heavy stuff he imagined. "Keep the pie, boy-scout." She roughly forced him onto the car door, pressing her sizable bust against his chest and making him drop the pizza boxes. "I'm drunk as hell and- 'hiccup!'... and really fucking horny, you'd have to be the biggest faggot on the planet to say no to me.~" The pizza guy remained silent much to the woman's approval, whether or not he was silently agreeing or just so scared-shitless that he couldn't get a word in was up to debate, but either way Aria did not care in the slightest. She opened the back door and shoved him inside, then she pounced her prey, looking down at him with bedroom eyes... "Name's Aria by the way... Be sure to call me that when I'm rocking your world."

"..... B-be gentle?" The man pleaded, Aria dove right in and began frenching, wrangling his tongue as a display of her dominance. She continued this for nearly a full minute before letting go with a gasp for air, tongue hanging out and dripping a bit with both of their saliva. "Jesus- 'cough!' Jesus Christ!" He was gasping as well, having never anyone kissed so intensely before. "Y-You're crazy!"

"Crazy, huh?" Aria chuckled, a spot of drool running down the smirk she wore. "S-so you think I'm-'hic!'... I'm crazy now?"

The boy's heart sank, his face growing a few shades paler than normal. "I-I..." Aria used her foot to hook the handle and close the car door, then she licked her lips and flew to his neck, suckling it with all the gentleness of a starved animal. "H-hey! What are you-!" He could feel her tongue and teeth tease his skin, he visibly shuttered as a foreign sensation crawled up his spine. "F-... Fuck~" His blush intensified at the involuntary moan, feeling a deep shame in the pit of his gut for making such a noise.

"Mmmm." Aria, however, hummed in delight at his response. Seeing it as a sign of approval, she decided to push things a little further. She snaked her hands down the boy's frame until she hit the all-too-familiar feeling of firm elastic around his waste. In a surprising feat of dexterity for someone under the influence she had her right hand working on getting his pants button undone, the other had already popped her own jeans open and was slowly pulling them down. After a good five seconds or so she managed to get his pants undone and pull her's off completely, revealing the damp garments that lie underneath. She let her victim's neck go with a wet smack of her lips and whispered in his ear... "Still think a little kissing is crazy?" She sat up, arching her back in a faux stretch to show off her chest and black panties. "Tru-'hic!' Trust me dude, you haven't seen me when I'm crazy." She grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head to reveal her bra, a matching black demi covering a sizable pair of C's just itching to be let loose. She threw the shirt over her shoulder and licked her lips, smiling devilishly at the boy underneath her. "You haven't seen anything yet... 'Hiccup!'"

(Elsewhere)

Anonymous began locking-up the bar, him being the fine owner of such an establishment. He's been working there for a good 2 years now and has enjoyed his job as a bartender, listening to the salty salt-licks that stop by to have a bit of fun... Well, most of them anyways. There's the occasional bar-fight or the tipsy patron that's sucked a few more necks of whisky than he can handle. But hey, that's the life of a bartender, and the pay isn't that bad either.

'vrrr!'

Anon's phone buzzed, taking it out he saw that he got a text from Aria. "The hell does she want?" He pulled out his phone and began putting in the password. "I swear to god if she got arrested again... Oh, for the love of-!" Anon wished he hadn't looked at the image she sent him. "Goddammit Aria!" He pocketed his phone and jumped in the car, debating on whether or not to beat some fucking sense into his roommate. "I swear to god, I'm gonna kill that whore one day..." He turned the ignition, the car roaring to life. "Fucking skank couldn't keep her legs closed if God himself ordered her to... Probably raided my leftover stock and trashed the house, too." Anon shook his head and pulled out of the lot, heading straight home to who the hell knows what... "Ugh, I just hope the cops don't get involved again, last thing I wanna wake-up to is a goddamn police siren at seven in the morning." After a forty-five minute drive Anon pulled into the hotel lot, keeping his eyes peeled for anything Aria related. He parked in his usual spot and stepped out of the car, noticing a Pizza car sitting in front of his building. Oddly though it wasn't bouncing, and there was no moaning to speak of. "Hmm, Aria doesn't usually take her victims inside..." He walked up and opened the car door, the head of who he assumed was the delivery boy popped out. "Bingo."

The guy took a deep breath, relishing in the fresh night air like a fish in water. "Oh thank god!" He was sweating like a fat guy in a sauna and holy fuck did it smell like one in there. The oh-so-beautiful form of Aria snored on top of him, blacked-out and as bare as the day she was born. "Dude, you gotta get me outta here. This chick is fucking crazy!"

"Tell me about it." He walked to the other side and opened the other door, pulling out his roomie by her feet. From what he could see, Aria's overworn shoe of a vagina had been given plenty of attention tonight. The little whore still had drainage oozing out as a result of riding bareback, she always hated condoms for some reason. It's nothing short of a miracle how she hasn't been knocked-up yet, let alone infected with an STD. "Just hang tight, kid. I'll get this cum rag off of you in a second."

"Please hurry." He pleaded. "She vomited on the car floor before she passed out and it smells really bad." Within a few moments, Anon had pulled Aria off of the guy, who quickly pulled his pants back up and scrambled out, gasping for fresh air. "T-Thank you so much, sir!"

"Yeah, don't mention it." Anon began gathering up her clothes, she'd throw a fit if she didn't get back her panties and bra, real expensive shit let me tell you. He tossed them onto his shoulder as he picked them up, noticing the horrid scent that they still gave off. "Oh and don't worry, this bitch's clean. But I'd go and get tested just to be safe."

"I'll keep that in mind..." He muttered, rubbing a spot on his neck sheepishly. "Um... S-she's not gonna pin kids on me, right?"

"Her? Have kids?" Anon shook his head. "That's not gonna happen, trust me. But I'll give her a good punch to her ovaries just to be safe." He glared down at her unconscious form and muttered under his breath. "I was planning on it either way... Fucking slut." Anon picked up the one pizza box that wasn't spilled all over the pavement and dragged, not carry, dragged his roommate by her foot into their building. "Oh and thanks for the food, or at least what's left of it." Before the guy could even ask for a tip he slammed the door behind him. He dropped Aria's foot, putting the box down and just looking over her naked form in disappointment. "I swear, I need to hire a nanny or something..." He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the bathroom, still talking to himself as he did. "Oh right, you'll probably just fuck the nanny like everything else that moves." He picked her up and laid her unconscious form in the bath tub. He grabbed the faucet labeled 'cold' and made sure the shower head was pointed right at her. "Rise and shine, beautiful!"

'Creak-Shhhhh!'

"Ah... Ah! AHH FUCK THAT'S COLD!!!" Aria jumped and tried to scrambled out of the tub, slipping and falling back in while the freezing water pelted her. "Anon you fuck!" She eventually managed to crawl out and flop onto the bathroom floor, shivering and glaring at the man she shared the building with. "N-N-N-Not cool, asshole!"

"Actually it's very cool, skank." He pointed the shower head at her, soaking her further. "You want some more?"

"S-Stop it you jackass! Fuck!" She managed to turn the water off on her own, then began wringing out her wet hair. "Fucking gaylord... Why the hell am I naked anyway?" Anon just gave her an unimpressed look. "... Oh, right, I fucked someone." She unceremoniously started picking her nose. "Wonder who the lucky guy is... Wait, did we finally fuck or something?"

"No Aria, you assaulted another pizza guy in your drunken rampage." Anon answered. "Didn't use any rubbers, either. Surprise, surprise..."

Aria just rolled her eyes. "Save me the lecture, 'dad'. Right now I'm fucking hungry."

How this whore never suffered from hangovers Anon will never know, but that was on a different note. "Well we got free pizza thanks to the Hungry-Hungry fucking Hippo between your legs."

Aria flicked a booger at him. "Well then you should be thanking me! I work hard putting food on the table, just like you do."

"Getting drunk and pounding some rando isn't hard work, Aria." Anon picked off the booger and flicked it back at her, nailing her right on the cheek. "Buuut, I guess I can't argue against free pizza..." He pulled a towel off of the hanger and threw it at her. "Dry yourself off skank, I'll heat up the grub you worked so hard to get for us." He walked out of the bathroom, leaving Aria to dry off the cold water. "And put some damn pants on, your not a fucking welfare child!"

"Oh go crawl back up your momma's vagina you fucking baby!" Aria yelled back. "And don't think I didn't see the tent you were pitching you prick, you know you want a piece of this!" Anon remained silent, Aria smirked in triumph. "That's what I fucking thought, bloody prude..." Aria wrapped the towel around her hair, bundling it onto her head. "I swear, sometimes he's got the biggest fucking vagina..." She grabbed another towel and began drying off the rest of her body. "He'd probably give Dagi a run for her money if he keeps it up..." Dagi... Yeah, that name certainly brought back a lot of memories, both good and... Well, 'that' memory. "Sigh... She sure was pissed after our big fall from grace, that's for sure." She recalled, remembering her older sister and the words that were said... "Dagi... I hope you suffer for what you said to us."

"Dagi?" Anon's voice made her jump in surprise. She looked up and saw him in his pajamas, eating a slice of pizza. "Who's that? You go and shag more than salami or something?"

"None of your fucking business." She snapped in malice, or at least moreso than usual.

Anon raised his hands up in defense. "Christ, the hell did I say!?"

Aria thought back on her words and sighed. "I'm... I'm sorry about that. That was uncalled for." The room was quiet, save for the tapping of water that fell from her body... Eventually she worked up the guts to speak. "Dagi... No, Adagio." She corrected herself. "She's... Well..." She was quite reluctant about explaining who this 'Adagio' person was, an unusual trait given it was Aria of all people doing the talking. "She's... Past stuff." She finished. "You know how I feel about 'past stuff'..."

"Past stuff, huh?" Anon raised a brow, chewing his food. He knew well that Aria had certain buttons that shouldn't be pressed, and her past is one of those buttons for some reason or another. "Guess that explains why you're so pissy... Sorry for poking old wounds, Roomie." He left once again. "I'll be watching TV."

"Whatever." She took a seat on the toilet, drying her legs off a bit aggressively. She had a scowl on her face as her anger started to show itself in a low boil. "I don't give two shits about her anyways... After what she said to me and Sonny she can rot in this god-forsaken gutter of a city for all I care." She started to feel that pit grow in her gut... She hated that fucking pit, she hated it so, so much. She wanted to take that pit and crush and smash and bludgeon it to a fine red mush... But, no matter how much anger and resentment she smothered it with, it didn't slow the wave of sadness creeping up on her. "That... That fucking cunt of a sister..." She tried with all her power to restrain the tears threatening to burst, but it was a losing battle. Seems that even the big, bad Aria Blaze has a soft core underneath that hard skin, and it showed how hurt it really was through the light tear-drops and pitiful sniffles she let out. "Goddammit..." Her face fell to the towel, letting it soak the tears and muffle her weeping. "I'm... I'm n-not all those things..." She muttered to herself. "I... I hate you Adagio... I hate you so fucking much." She continued her pitiful display until a familiar voice shouted for her.

"Hey Aria, could you hurry up!?" Anon shouted, causing Aria to jump and quickly dry her face in panic. "I gotta take a mean shi-..." He walked in on her drying her face, her eyes were still red and glossy as she forced a smile at him... Yeah, she was about as transparent as a sheet of glass, but he awarded her an 'A' for effort. "Crying again, huh?" Having failed her attempt at looking normal, she just huffed and turned away from him. "Still not gonna talk about it, I'm guessing?... You'll probably feel a lot better if you did, you know." No reply, she just hugged the towel and slouched. "..... Fine, if you're gonna be a baby about it..." He closed the door behind him, leaving her to sob in peace... A small part of her wishes he'd persisted. Even if it angered her it'd show that at least somebody cared abo-

'THUNK!'

Aria turned around in surprise. "What the hell are-"

"IT'S JOHN CENAAAAAA!!!" Anonymous had kicked the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but his underwear and a ski mask, holding a plastic John Cena wrestling toy above his head. "DUN DUH-DUN DAAAAH!!!" He began to relentlessly beat Aria with the large toy like a fucking maniac, all the while screaming the John Cena theme at the top of his lungs. Aria, eventually overpowering him, ran out of the bathroom and made a sharp turn to her room, slamming the door behind her... Anon just watched, lowering his toy and wondering if he did the right thing.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

'THUNK!'

Aria's door was kicked open, similarly to Anon's display with the bathroom door. She had on a purple bandana and an overly-large pair of shudder-shades, like those ones you get as prizes at a carnival. She also wore actual clothes for a change, black basketball shorts and a shiny, magenta tank with a bunch of gold-chain necklaces. In her left hand, a big bundle of slim-jims. Her right, a large plastic wrestling toy of the one, the only...

"Randy. Fucking. Savage." Anon shook his head. "So, the Macho-Man wants another helping of the Cena Smackdown!?"

"Ohh, the Macho-Man is hungry Cena, and ohh yeah he's hungry for payback for what you did to go him in ring!" Aria took the bundle of Slim-Jims and bit into all of them at once, ripping the heads of the plastic off, chewing, and spitting them on the floor. "You better watch yourself Cena, ohh you better watch yourself, 'cause the Macho-Man's gonna chew you up and spit you out ALL over the ring, baby!" She pointed the Slim-Jims at him. "I'm gonna snap you like a Slim-Jim, Cena! The only thing you ain't seein' tonight is how fast you're gonna hit the floor!" She threw all the Slim-Jims down on the floor in a blind fury, then let loose the warcry of legend. "OH YEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!! " With that, Aria raised the Macho-Man toy above her head and charged with the intent to kill, Anon followed suit... The night was filled with over-the-top yelling and the sounds of roughhousing, with the occasional shatter or smash of furniture. Aria had completely forgotten about her troubled past for the time being and simply enjoyed herself in this stupid act of play.

Early that morning, several noise complaints were issued to the land-owner regarding room 13, nearly all went ignored. Anonymous was up and about pouring himself some coffee, sporting quite a nasty shiner and some bruises on his chest and back, received from late last night during his match against Aria. As he poured, he was singing a song he heard from the internet without a care in the world. "~Pussy, pussy, pussy, can't you see. You bitches can't do it like me.~" He tapped his glass mug with his mixing spoon, making a sharp 'ting'. "Motherfucker's stay mad, like I killed their mom or somethin'. If you didn't really care you'd let it be." He mumbled through a good portion of the song, because he really couldn't remember all the lyrics and was a lazy piece of shit. Once he added his cream he mixed it all up he started singing the rest of what he remembered. "~I liiive in a constant state of feeear and misery! Dooo you miss me, anymore?~" He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. "~And I don't even notice when it huuurts anymore! Anymore! Anymore! Anymooore!~" Right on cue, Aria's door flew open. "Oh, good morning dahling!" He had on an extremely flamboyant and obnoxious tone, he recoiled at his own accuracy. "Holy fuck that was surprisingly gay."

"Fitting." She commented. "Been two years now and you still haven't hit the Aria Express." She gave her own fine ass a firm smack to reinforce her statement, Anon just rolled his eyes. "Trust me dude, you dunno what you're missing."

"Quite the contrary my friend." He assured her. "I'm missing The Clap, Syphilis, and god knows what other diseases crawling in that fucking cave." He took a good gulp of his magic wake-up elixir. "Besides, I've already seen your purple ass plenty of times. Those cheeks are ace I'll admit, but you're still a huge goddamn slut."

Aria shrugged, then smirked as something popped into her head. "Speaking of asses, Anon..."

'Smack!'

"Jesus!" He nearly dropped his mug when he jumped. "Aria for fuck's sake, I'm holding coffee!"

"Feel familiar, Anon?" She asked, to his confusion. "It should after the MACHO-MAN got through spanking it!"

"Oh bite me, you just got fucking lucky." He just shook his head. "I'll beat your fine ass next time though, fucking feral..." Aria had been quiet for the moment, which was very odd. "What, got nothing to retort?" To his surprise, he felt a pair of arms quickly wrap around him. He prepared himself, thinking the Macho-Man had come back for seconds...

But, no sort of grapple played out, instead she just stayed there squeezing him lightly. "Anon... T-thanks for last night... Or... Whatever, I guess." She talked quieter as she went on, it was almost heart-melting how cute she was (don't tell her I said that). "It... It really... m-means a lot that you care or whatever... So..."

"(God, this is getting hard to hear...)" Looks like Anon made the right call busting out the wrestling toys last night. He shuffled around to face her and hugged back with his free arm. "Don't hurt yourself, Roomie. I know you're grateful." She remained quiet, which suited Anon just fine...

"..... You know, I could take care of the tent your pitching." With but one single sentence, Aria killed the mood faster than dirty-talk from Steven Hawking.

"Aria, kindly run face-first into a wall of dicks." Anon ended the hug and drank the rest of his coffee. "But I'll give brownie-points for trying, Sweetheart." He pat her head and opened the front door, car keys in hand. "You know the drill, don't bring your fuck-buddies in my room and don't fuck anyone I know."

She just rolled her eyes. "That was one time, Anon..." She shook her head. "Whatever 'dad', take your vagina and go tend the bar." She slumped on the couch and started watching TV.

"Love you too, Pumpkin." With that, he had stepped out of the housing complex and drove to the bar as he did every morning, ready to serve hard-working men a few drinks and play bartender-therapist. As for Aria, not even god himself knew what she had planned today, but it was probably something that could get her in a lot of trouble... Still, whatever mess she inevitably got herself into, she was a bit happier knowing that at least somebody cared about her.

Author's Note

Just a little idea I thought of, tell me what you guys think!

(Song is Fried Noodles by Papa Franku, Pink Season is the tits my friends)