’Terms of Contract’

You are to locate the human female provided within the data file provided of Planet Earth’s inhabitance

Failure to eliminate the target is not an option. By signing this contract you will be obligated to come back with the human’s heart...

Or we will take yours.

GMA

Below the translucent blue screen was a blank signature line. “Hunter Gloet.” A voice spoke, breaking the tension with it’s synthetic, obviously robotic tone. “You have stared at your form for exactly five minutes, forty-nine seconds, three-point-eight-“

“Byte... Sir.” A surprisingly feminine tone interrupted. “Forgive my lack of professionalism in saying this, but... Did you install a new humor subroutine?”

.....

“Hunter Gloet. You know better than I that such things are unnecessary for an AI like myself.” This ‘Byte’ character replied, a simple android standing behind a caged booth. “My programming only allows the deployment of contracts provided by the Galactic Mercenary Association.”

The silence resumed... “You can’t be serious...” But was short-lived at Gloet’s offended tone. “Are you aware what a human is? They’re shaved simians stuck from some Crauxus’ blowhole of a galaxy, with nothing to note of aside from their years of planetary conflict... With each other.” This feminine figure, covered head to toe in skin-tight armor plates, seemed to buzz lowly like some pissed-off hornet. “Were I a much-less forgiving Huntress I would have ripped out your wires and eaten them... So please, enlighten me on why am I tasked to kill a lowly human of all things?”

“Forgive me, Hunter. Information of this human’s bounty is minimal. I was only informed that it was able to kill a handler from the Mo’h Visha Institute one-point-eight cycles ago.”

The buzzing seemed to die down. “Hmph... For a Troglodyte such as a human, I suppose that would be deemed an impressive feat. But for it to be worth my head is asinine.” The armored hunter walked off with the flick of her wrist. “Give it to some no-named mercenary, a mission like that isn’t worth my time.”

“But Gloet...! Oh, curse my programmers.” The android looked down a bit in disappointment. Truth be told this has been his nineteenth attempt with either a death-threat, laughing, or both... “Is there no hunter willing to take this job?”

“Oh, oh! Is this where I go?” Byte’s synthetic eyes met a new face, with no records or identity to his memory. Bubble-Gum pink skin with a stupid grin. “Hi! I’m, like, looking for a cool job and something to kill.” Clearly an amateur, reckless, and had no idea what she was doing...

Byte couldn’t have asked for a better candidate. “Then you seek me, Byte. I handle the mercenary work.”

“Oh-em-Awesome! Lemme go bag a Star Eater!” This alien would best be described as a bad Majin Buu gender-flip. She had no real armor to speak of, aside from some hot-pink sections of her body that looked harder than her natural rose-pink skin. Maybe natural armor?... But then again it only really covered her necessary parts, and her hair was a similar shade. “C’mon Bolt! I wanna kill something!” She looked on with pleading hazel irises. “Pleeease~?”

“I... Would like to think that a Cosmic Leviathan-class serpent is only for veterans, or a large militia.” Byte objected, for her own safety. “Speaking of such, what are your credentials and level of experience.”

She scratched at her head with the nozzle of her handgun... Perhaps ‘stupid’ would be another thing to mark on his list of her character seeing how close her finger is to the trigger. “I dunno, I guess zero?” Hit the nail right on the head. “But I can handle whatever you throw at me, honest!”

Byte handed her the contract. “Then you should be able to handle this easy mission, to get your feet wet and such.”

“Hmm... That’s cool, that’s cool. But, like, what’s a heart?”

.....

“Just get the mission done, Miss...”

“Goo.” She answered. “Gumma-Goo’s my full name, but you can call me whatev’s.” She thoughtlessly signed the contract and scurried off with a cute war-cry.

.....

“She didn’t even let me give her the proper coordinates...”

With Gumma’s boundless energy, she had no problem running all the way back to the massive ship docking site. But where was her ship?

Well, that’s the funny thing, my friends. She is her own ship. “Now, Earth was around the Northern side of the universe... Right?” She looked up to a large star chart displaying the Universe from a projector of the ceiling. “Looks like a sling and a half from my home planet, actually!” She turned toward the large window, veiled by an oxygen bubble. She took a pitcher’s stance, wound up her arm, and...

’Vooh-splat!’

Thrust her hand, where her arm stretched to incredible lengths and smacked the edge of the window like a bug on a windshield.

’Vooh-smack!’

She did the same with her other arm on the adjacent side, at this point I think we all know where this is going... “Here...” She took a few steps back, smushing her feet firmly into the floor to keep the sticky firm. “Weee...!” She smiled, then jumped. “GOOOOOOOOOOOO.......” She was star-bound now, sling-shotting her way straight to Planet Earth by taking advantage of the endless momentum provided by the void of space.

“Day three-hundred, still no signs of the planet Earth...” It’s been fifteen minutes. “The ultra-cool, extra-awesome Gumma-Goo flew through the cosmos like... A gorgeous pink comet that every guy loved and junk.” Still lost in her own little world, too... “Her first mission, and she’s gonna bag a totally vicious human that killed it’s handler-person... Wait, do humans, like, always have handlers?” She pondered briefly, before shrugging it off. “Humans must be weird or-SPACE ROCK!” She flung her foot at it, latching on and using her own momentum to fling the asteroid forward while she went backwards. “BLAST-OFF!!!” The rock came straight for her, and she barreled right over it and was launched at even greater speeds! “YES! I’M A BEAUTIFUL PINK BULLET!!!” Her face changed pretty quick to that of ‘fuck’ as she noticed the many other asteroids coming into view, along with the bright yellow planet they circled. “Saturn’s ring!... Man, I’m making awesome time with this.” With quick thinking, reaction time, and god-like Space Parkour; she used her gum powers and stretchy body to navigate the asteroid belt with relative ease. Perhaps her race was simply suited for slinging themselves across space like a flying monkey on crack... All kinds of weird shit out there, amirite?

Our spunky lil go-getter had just passed Mars when her eyes had laid sight on our humble little planet. “Wooow... It’s so pretty compared to the planets in my Solar System! ’Gasp!’ They even have their own lil moon!” Which she passed at dangerous speeds, feeling herself getting warmer and warmer. “Ooh, an atmosphere, too!” She was a literal ball of fire right now and kept smiling regardless. “Why do so many hunters call this place a dump anyway? It looks so pretty from Space... Oh-em-Gosh! I should have a base on their moon installed when I get paid!” She burst through the clouds, hurdling toward a deep, deep blue. “Gummy-Goo, you beautiful genius! This is gonna be the best-!”

’SPLASH!!!’

.......

Gumma-Goo felt a feeling similar to the void of space, but... Not quite as cold. It was a pretty nice feeling.

A deep, loud bellow had broken her from her thoughts, as a huuuuge, gigantic, down-right enormous creature had floated overhead. Her eyes widened, mouth hanging open, allowing sea water to fill her mouth at the majesty of such a giant.

Until... Fear had paralyzed her at the same presence of said giant. It was like a first-time Subnautica player seeing their first Leviathan... Then she looked down, watching in horror as one of them was floating right toward her from an abyss of black.

Que the mindless flailing of someone who has no concept of swimming.

’Bump...’

The creature had not opened it’s mouth and swallowed her whole, it just rose to breach and happened to take her with it. Nonetheless, Gumma screamed in muffled gurgles until she had no more air in her. Then it was just her mouth agape and her being confused.

As the whale had breached to blast water from it’s blowhole, Gumma followed in turn with spilling out all the water from her stomach. “’Uuurgh! Cough cough! Haah... AAAAHHHHHHH!!!” Thus, resumes the screaming, until she was submerged yet again.

.....

The sun had begun to set in the horizon, poor Gummy sticking to the Whale like a barnacle. She’d learned very quick what water was, and that she had trouble moving in it without the assistance of this leviathan she was riding. However, she did learn that this beastie wasn’t mean per say, it just made horrifying groans. She named it Zoltan for these spine-chilling noises...

She’d been pondering on a method of escaping this strange fluid, it was similar to that of water but it had a strange feel... Tasted weird, too. She noticed that Zoltan had a weird tail and small wings on his sides that helped him move through this gunk, so... No, she wasn’t brave enough to leave Zoltan. She couldn’t float like he could and that bottomless pit below scared the pink right outta her.

Still, she couldn’t stay on his back forever. She was a hunter now. Is a little pit of endless darkness really gonna scare her?

.....

She couldn’t even deny it in her own head, that pit was just way too scary...

Wait, wasn’t that Zoltan in the distance?

.......

She didn’t even look down, she just started flailing again in an effort to get back to her savior. Try as she might though, his speed was far past her own. “(No, please! Zoltan DON’T LEAVE ME!)” She quickly tired herself out and slowly sank.

.....

Very slowly sank...

.....

.....

.....

“(Huh... This isn’t so bad, actually.)” She pondered a bit, then a little light-bulb clicked in her head. “(Maybe if I do what Zoltan did...)” So, she started doing her best impression of a Whale swimming. The only real result was noticing how water seemed to fight against her arms. Instead, she tried pushing it under her. “(I think... I’m getting the hang of it now.)” Over time, she naturally adjusted herself to a cute doggy paddle, ever so slowly reaching the surface and puking our all that water in her body. “Ugh! Bleh!... It tastes even worse coming out.” She turned her head a few times, seeing nothing but ocean at every turn. “Aww... I have a lot of floating to do.” She pouted. “Dumb robot, not giving me any directions...”

(Elsewhere)

“Our top story today, an unidentified meteor broke though the atmosphere and impacted somewhere around the center of the Pacific Ocean today! Casualties are at zero but that may change at after further investigation.”

“Meteor?” Anon repeated, somewhat alarmed. But after a bit of consideration he brushed it off. “Meh, probably just hogwash...” Feeling hungry, he got up to browse the fridge. “Hm... Gotta get food tomorrow.” He closed the fridge and got out his phone. “HEY, YOU FINE WITH PIZZA!?”

“IMMA HUGE FUCKING SLUT FOR PIZZA!” Replied Aria from her room. “GET BREADSTICKS, TOO!”

“COOL!” He found their number and waited, checking his wallet for paper cash. “Meteor... What a fucking laugh.”

(To be Continued...)

Author's Note

A shout-out to that chapter I made with the tentacles and shit, Aria will receive payback eventually...

Maybe... I really just go along with it and see where it takes me at this point.

Tootles!