Shifted

by Majikkstar

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 17914

Luna is pulled into a dimensional rift and thrown to a world of violence, magic, and technology.

A spell miscast and a princess lost to the megaverse, Luna must survive and find the portal home from a world ravaged by rifts and covered in various life forms. Most harmful, the rest indifferent; only a couple might help her return home.

Crossover with Rifts RPG by Palladium.
Image courtesy of this guy, .

Published 2016-11-23 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-23 03:20:01 UTC

Shifted

The Portal

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Luna was enjoying a good fly around the castle, stretching her wings after a long night of resting on her lunar throne and hosting royal court.

Since she’d returned a month before much had happened, yet nothing at the same time. The world was at peace, war was forgotten, no classes were taught on it, and no guards trained for it.. Even her sister, as strong as she once was, had become weak in body and combative spirit.

She let her mind wander as the sun rose, her job for the night was done and she could bask in the warmth of the glowing orb as it rose above the horizon.

“Mayhaps Celestia would teach me more of modern Equestria?” she mused as she angled herself and with a strong flap accelerated to nearly the speed of sound, “she certainly has time lately with nothing but nobles striking her door and flooding her streets looking for the blood of commerce.”

She smirked to herself and banked sharply. The stress on her wings was thrilling as pain shot into her back and the memory of breaking a wing ages ago doing the same maneuver. The crash was spectacular and the attention she received was thrilling. It outshone her sister’s glory of the age, if only for a blink of time.

“Nay, Luna. Think not of the past in such a way,” she scolded herself as she leveled out, “simply live for the future. In this age of peace there is no need for warring with thy sister.”

A spike of magical energy caught her attention from the far side of Canterlot mountain raising an eyebrow. “Few have such power,” she whispered as she turned and aimed to the source.

She neared what appeared to be a black and brown tear in space itself. Breaking quickly she observed it for a moment before flying to the other side to see the same thing with a slight blue shimmer on that side. “Curious. It appears to be a tear of sorts, yet I can sense only magic within.”

She flew to the other side and noted how the tear was a few paces from the edge of the mountain. She chuckled. “Shouldst a creature come thr-” she blinked as a biped walked through and began to fall. It shone like once polished silver, yet was covered with dents, dirt, and filth. Her horn flared and stopped its descent, raising it to the tear and preparing to send it back.

“Away with thee, and be more cautious of where thou tread through the megaverse,” she scolded as she guided it gently back through. “What is this?!” she gasped as her magic began to be tugged by the tear. She couldn’t stop her spell and felt her heart breaking as she knew she’d be taken to whatever world the creature had come from.

The porthole was pulling at the magic within her at the deepest level of her being. She tried to fight the pull to no avail and closed her wings to her body as pain began to throb in her head from resisting. “I can nary feel my very soul being tugged,” she groaned as she passed through the event horizon.

A small path of blue shimmering light was all she saw before she landed on her side with a heavy thud. Several clicking sounds and a whirring sound was all she heard as her eyes adjusted to the dark room she was in.

“A unicorn?! You were there for an hour and all you brought back was a fucking horse?!” a mare’s voice shouted.

“I was there for a few seconds before that thing saved me,” a stallion replied to her.

“Hey, temporal differential. Time is irrelevant between dimensions. We’re lucky he even made it back alive. John, what’d you see?”

“The ground rushing at me,” he snarked, more clicking noises.

Luna groaned. “Mayhaps thou could tell Us where We are?”

“Holy shit, it talks,” the mare said in surprise. Luna opened her wings to help balance herself as she stood up. “And it’s a unicorn with wings? What the hell did Phil bring us?”

“I told you-”

“We have returned thy companion, please allow Us to return to our home world,” Luna asked as she stood tall and left her wings open slightly. She took in the sight of humans in full body armor, some seemingly enclosed within, not ponies or other creatures from her world. “Humans?”

“Yeah, Horny Wing, we don’t have the power to open the portal again. We need a new mage since the last one just ditched us.”

“What’re you talking about,” John asked looking around in his closed helmeted body.

“After the second minute, Shaneen jumped through a portal she made and it closed. Our shifter is gone, so we’re all stuck here. C’mon, grab the mirror and let’s book it before the computer comes back online.”

“Halt! We demand thou return us to Our home, post haste.

The humans pointed obvious weapons at Luna. “Shout like that again and I’ll put you down, Horny Wing.”

Luna sneered as she flared her wings. “Thy shant refer to Us in such an impudent manner, knave.”

“Yeah, stun her,” the female said to another from behind Luna. Before she could turn she grunted in pain as electricity corsed through her body, sending her to her front left knee.

“Th-thy have made thy final mistake,” Luna sneered as her horn flared to life and she vanished.

“Where’d Horny go?” the woman asked as she and the others took their weapons to the ready and scanned the large warehouse.

The woman barely gasped as she felt herself being bucked in the back by Luna, denting her full body metal armor into her body. Luna cast a barrier that easily deflected the weapons fire and single grenade that rolled towards her to the objection of the other humans.

“Thy hath incurred the wrath of Princess Luna, diarch of the moon and protector of the night! Bow before me and I may spare thee,” she bellowed. One of the humans took a knee and bowed as two others opened fire for three more shots each.

The female was groaning on the floor, reaching to her back and the dents that were no doubt pressing into her fragile frame.

Klaxon alarms began to blare, startling Luna and the humans that were around her. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Shut it, Princess,” a male shouted over the noise and to her as he rushed past her, his weapon hummed to life.

Luna cocked her head to the side and watched as the humans ignored her suddenly all taking to a large closed garage door. “They’re coming, I can sense it. I’ll cast the spells,” a male shouted. Luna counted five, minus the female on the ground.

“Dave, you run medic and distraction. Rosie’s out thanks to Horny over there,” Luna frowned, her horn still charging a the shield, “so that leaves Raul. You need to be the heavy since she’s down.”

“Got it,” the others chimed in taking their weapons and pointing them at the door that was inset within the garage door.

With a loud crash a metal spider with the body of a human skull crashed through the whole door sending the humans sprawling. Dave pulled the trigger on his weapon and shot a futile round into the main body of the robot while Luna smirked and flapped, taking to the air.

“Our years have been but a blink in time and thou shall long be dust before We age a day… This shall be, as Twilight calls it, ‘fun’!”

Combat

With her shield still active Luna shot forward and slammed into the metal skull, sending it staggering back on what now looked to be spider legs. “Thy machine is forged from more than iron, it seems,” she spoke, “We shall enjoy finding out what metals it is made of from within!”

The robot moved slightly and fired at point blank a round from a barrel she didn’t see until the flash met her eyes. The round passed through and destroyed her shield, narrowly missing her body but passing through her mane and exploding on the far side of the warehouse, burying the mirror.

“Insolence! Thy dare attack a Princess?!” Luna bellowed as she flapped and flew over and behind the skull. With a quick whirring sound the skull spun to keep track of her, taking an exploding shock to its underbody, sending it stumbling a spider’s step.

“D’tra, hrem, m’lplith, TOPAH!” a voice chanted, suddenly Dave stood tall and roared with primal rage, taking a leap towards the machine and slamming into it with a powerful punch that took one of the eight legs off.

Luna charged a spell and sent it blasting at the now back of the head that was tracking the others, a panel was her target. With a moment of struggle the metal began to warp before she screamed in pain, falling to the ground and pulling her wings to her body, blood dripping to the floor from her left wing.

Raising her shield again she looked to see a flying black metal human. “More of thy toys? We shall enjoy-” she stopped as a burst of rounds impacted her shield and sent her staggering back and under the skull shaped robot.

A whoosh sound preceded a massive blast that sent the skull falling over with a hail of metal and technology onto Luna’s shield.

“They’re exposed! Get them!”

“Tal, proomy, daja!”

The skull shaped robot stopped all motion as blood curdling screams came from it. A moment later two humans fell from the front of it, scrambling in their hands and feet, running, sprinting past the humans Luna knew of and out of the warehouse.

Luna lifted the robot from her body and spun once around, releasing it and throwing it at the flying human. It easily dodged the flying robot, but not the blast that followed it and into the main body of the flying human armor.

As the human armor wavered in the air another appeared from the distance and caught the flailing armor before it fell to the ground.

Dave charged out and into the open after the running humans, catching them with a swiftness that belied his frame and smashed them into each other, obviously killing them both. Luna winced but took it as a sign of where the limits were of this battle. She took to a gallop and dropped her shield, casting a massive blast that charged through the air faster than anyone could follow it, striking the flying armors and sending the sprawling apart from one another and falling to the earth… into old decaying buildings.

With a distant crash the skull shaped robot landed and sent several buildings to the ground as it tumbled and shortly after two dull thuds indicated the landing of the two fliers.

Luna exhaled and turned to the group she knew that was lined up behind her with Dave racing up, stopping with a squeak of metal on concrete. Luna grinned widely. “The fun was nearly doubled! Where mayest We enter into battle again? That was,” she began to breathe in excitement, “most exhilarating,” she looked back and them starting at her. “Why doth thou look at me in such a manner?”

“Uh, Phil? What’d you bring us, again?”

The Mirror Home

“So, you’re some kinda Princess, for real?” Dave said hefting some rubble away from where they left the mirror.

“Verily.”

“And you talk like we did a thousand years ago because…?”

“It is mine speech. A thousand years ago We had been banished and recently returned. The world, our world, had moved on without Us and as such, We a-speak in the ways of what is now olden.”

“Wow, she’s a freak in so many ways,” Viv mumbled as she lifted some debris.

“Where’s this dumb mirror,” Phil asked, “I want the mirror to see how buff I am,” he grinned.

“The spell’s wearing off, dinkus. And it doesn’t affect the way you look, just how the world behaves around you.”

“Ah, We see. A spell of power. The words you use are unknown to me and my spell of language, yet the effect is the same as that which was cast upon my regalia.”

“Wait,” Viv stopped and looked at Luna, “you mean you have enchanted stuff on you?” Luna nodded absently, “I’ll buy it from ya. Twenty creds for the lot,” she extended her hand, which looked odd for a humans.

“Nay, I wouldst be remiss in my royal duties to simply sell my royal vestiges like trinkets.”

Viv lowered her hand and turned back to her moving duties with the others. “Why don’t you magic this crap away?”

“To abuse one's power is to invite a lazy existence. We will assist you by muzzle and hoof alone, as is the way thy art working.”

One of them groaned as she moved a piece of rebar and wood aside. “Stop talking like that.”

“What? Doth mine words-”

“‘We, Us, Our’. Stop it, it’s bad enough you have to talk like some old cheesy movie, but now you’ve got me thinking like that.”

Luna nickered. “‘Tis the way we speak. Thou sound like…” she paused and took a calming breath, “I understand and apologize. Mine, my sister has been teaching me how to speak in a more modern fashion. When I return to my home I shall send an envoy to assist you, if you wish.”

“Okay, that’s cool, Raul said impressed, “your modern language is our now language,” Raul spoke up.

“Shut up and get the mirror. It’d better not be broken or Horny here is stuck and we’re out of chances to get help.”

“My name is Luna!” Luna growled and stomped a hoof heavily. The ground shook causing them all to freeze for a second before it gave way, sending them all falling into a dark abyss from which there was no bottom… or so it felt as they looked around to see themselves a floor lower in the basement of the warehouse.

“Oh… shit,” Viv mumbled as weapons clicked and hummed to life. Luna cast a shield just as the first rounds began striking her compatriots. “Thanks, and there’s the mirror!”

The light from Luna’s horn reflected of the polished enchanted surface, but was outside their reach and still partly buried. “More of thy metal enemies? Can you please dispatch them as before?” Luna asked hopefully.

“How long can you keep your shield up?” Phil asked.

“As long as I am awake, lest they bring it down. However,” she chuckled, “they have no more giants to strike at me.”

“...She said it.”

“Crap… Everyone, get ready to run that way,” Dave pointed as rounds pinged off the shield and slowly came to a stop. “Get ready, Luna. We’ve gotta stay together, so don’t gillip away.”

“Gillip? Dost thou mean gallop?”

“Horny and mages,” a voice shouted from beyond the shield, “I am Sergent Page, you are hereby under arrest and will be held under trial for crimes against humanity. Lower your shield,” one of the humans in black armor that looked as skeletal as the rest, but heavier set and with a more distinct head said, walking to the front.

“Yeah, we’ll go with you after you kiss my green ass!” Viv shouted and shot a round through the shield that pinged harmlessly of the leader and sent the rest firing back. The leader shook his head and turned away, walking back into the mix of at least eight more.

“We’re leaving, now,” Viv ordered as she turned and hopped onto Luna’s back, “giddyap!”

The group looked to Viv who was sitting on a frustrated looking Alicorn. “Leave me at once,” she ordered.

“Shut it and gid- yaah!” Viv whimpered as she flew to the edge of the shield and the weapons fire died down, chuckling noises replacing the fire. “Damnit, unicorn-”

Luna winced in pain as she opened her wings fully. “I am no unicorn! I am an Alicorn. Blessed with the abilities of earth, pegasi, and unicorn ponies! A princess in the lands of Equestria and steward of the moon. Thou shalt return me to my realm at once, Viv, and cease this meaningless prattle.”

Silence befell the room as all eyes were on the regally resplendent Luna. “So, you’re not even a horse, you’re a… p-p-p,” Phil snickered inside his armor, “pony!” He fell to his knee laughing as several black armored soldiers looked amongst each other.

“Enough of this!” Luna shouted as her horn light grew brighter and the debris lifted from the mirror. It was enough to startle and begin the barrage against her shield. She planted the mirror next to her and closed her wings with a grunt. “Open the portal.”

“We don’t know how.”

Luna huffed and grunted as she channeled her magic, sending a pulse of energy out from her shield and sending the soldiers to their backs, spasming as electricity arced over them. “Then I shall! Behold the power of an Alicorn Princess.”

She channelled her magic into the mirror and smirked as a portal began to open… and a tentacle creeped through. “What manner of…” she dispelled the magic and recast it. This time a stable empty portal appeared that she didn’t hesitate to kick the tentacle remnants through. “Fare thee well,” she said as she trotted through.

A dark world welcomed her, the ground made of living wood that she could sense. There were no stars, no moon, and no mountains to be certain. For as far as she could see it was an endless landscape of the living ground below her.

An untranslated voice began to whisper in her mind, unsettling her as she slowly stepped back through the portal again to the group she was with before.

“Where is my home?” Luna asked dispelling the portal.

“That’s why we need our shifter… she ran when Phil went through and only she knows the way back to your home world.” Luna’s ears fell flat at Raul’s words. “Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll do our best to get you home… But, maybe we can get out of here before they start shooting again?”

Luna glanced over and sighed as she took the mirror and others in her magic and teleported back out front of the warehouse. “I trust thee can walk?” She said dropping the group.

“Run is more like it. Let’s get to the hideout.”

“Bad news, but I think she crushed it. It was that way,” Dave pointed towards the wreckage and area the skull-bot had been tossed.

“Then let’s see what’s left.”

“That’s suicide! You know the death heads’ll be there in no time to start salvaging their tech. I’m going with plan X and getting the hell outta here.”

“Phil, calm down. Let’s get out of the open and think this through,” Viv grumbled.

“Fine!” he shouted as he turned and ran to a nearby alley with the others following closely and Luna trailing behind, her ears low and hooves dragging, she looked to her side at the mirror and sighed.

“Celestia, what hath I gotten mineself into?”

Hideout

The buildings were amazing to Luna, in the fact that they hadn’t all fallen into rubble. “Where are you taking Us, me?” Luna asked twenty minutes into their trek through the maze of streets and alleys.

“Hush! Hear that?” Phil whispered

“No?” Luna whispered, her ears moving with purpose.

“Dang it,” he huffed, “you were supposed to say ‘nay’.” The group chuckled.

“I do not find that humorous. How much farther, I ask again.”

“A couple blocks. Keep yer… what are those?”

“My royal hoofwear? It is enchanted to keep me from tiring from long days on my hooves and it keeps my hooves from growing. Using a farrier is undignified,” she said raising her chin, “and modern spa’s are full of ‘snobs’.”

“So, what do you do? File them yourself? I know a thing or two about horses,” Viv asked.

“Indeed I do, or my sister assists me whilst we converse about the time I was away.”

“Two blocks. What do you mean? You keep going on about the moon, why?”

Luna blinked at Dave but didn’t answer, instead she turned the mirror to reflect her injured wing. “Bah, a wound as simple as this and I am flightless. In a battle worse than any you know I nearly lost my other wing and flew with it hanging by a thread of skin and bone,” she sighed, “a few months without combat and I’m as weak as a newborn foal.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Luna,” Viv replied, “I’ve never heard of a foal blasting two death heads out of the sky.”

“What is this you speaketh of, death heads? Are they the metal machines we fought earlier?”

“Hey, she figured it out finally,” Viv sarcastically quipped, “yeah, and they’re piloted by human extremists. Cross them, even if you’re pure human, and they’ll as soon kill you as capture you. I guess it’s a gift you showed up, we never could have taken down a spider walker without you, then the two boomers up there…” she shook her head, “thanks.”

Luna’s ears swiveled around. “Hush, do you hear that?” The others stopped and took a knee, ready to fight. “It’s the sound of arrogance leaving.”

“...”

“Did, did she just tell a joke?”

“Hey, at least she’s not trying to kill us. Let’s hurry, this doesn’t bode well for us.”

They began walking again with Luna smirking at her humor.

“Bode well for us? You got a pony on your tongue?” Phil asked Raul.

“Not yet… Damnit,” he facepalmed as the others, excluding the females, began to tease Raul for his slip up.

“Nay, nae’er shall I fornicate with a human. Peradventure, Our body is a temple worthy of only the highest pedigree of stallion, and even then it is Our choice on whom may enter,” Luna proclaimed.

“Hey, if Raul wants a woman… or pony, he’ll get her.”

“Shut. up, Phil.”

Luna chuckled as they began to walk into a multi storied building that was in shambles. “Thy ribbed thee well, and as such thou are the posterior of their jokes, Raul.”

“Shh, this is our home and I say the first rule is no royal-ancient-mumbo-jumbo speak. Thee, thy, thou is not allowed in here,” Viv turned and stopped before Luna, “or you can go clippity clop your magic shoes anywhere else.”

Luna’s eye twitched and her nostrils flared just as Phil jumped between the two. “Alright, you two, don’t start again. We’re home. We’re safe here, just stay calm and quiet, please,” he pleaded to the two females.

Luna scoffed. “Humph, safe is a relative term. This building shall fall upon us at the first sneeze of a titmouse.”

“This is an old bomb shelter inside the building. If the building falls it’ll bury this room and we’ll get out another way.”

“Like blowing our way out!” Dave added excitedly.

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Certainly you jest. You have the power to blow a building over?”

Dave facepalmed.

“Anyway, we all know Dave blows, let’s chill and see what that book of yours has to offer in the ways of calling a god to help us out,” Raul said as he took off his helmet. Luna blinked as she looked at the dark skinned man with small brown eyes that looked to hold compassion that rivaled any she’d seen in any human before.

Her hopes rose as she saw the others taking their helmets off, and fell as they looked at her. Phil was pasty white with scars across his face and he smiled a missing tooth smile. Dave was blue and had two yellow orbs where his eyes should be. He spoke through a slit in the side of his face.

“What? Never seen a Noodo Poth before?”

“Nay, I honestly have seen none of your kind, yet it is an honor to be the first of my kind to grace thy… your presence. And Viv, what manner of creature are you?”

Viv finished removing her helmet and a beautiful woman, even by pony standards, looked back from under dirty blonde bangs. “I’m a human, you idiot. Now open that mirror and jump through. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” she said sweetly in a manner that would have convinced a lesser pony to do as she said.

“I see your charms are quite suited for you, however I am royalty and as such will not falter in my goals and drive. I will return home to Equestria, when the portal opens as such. It seems I am unable to open it, however my sister has many archmages capable of finding me across the voids.”

The men had left the women to talk and taken to their own areas. “Well, let’s hope it’s soon,” Viv dropped her sweet voice and said firmly, “you’re a royal pain and liability. Gentlemen,” she addressed the room while staring down Luna, “my contract with you is over. I’ll take my payment and leave tomorrow.”

The men suddenly were at attention. “Wait, you can’t-”

“The deal was I get you and your shifter to the mirror. I’ve done my part and now you do yours, or is there no honor here?”

Phil and Raul winced while Dave stood from his desk, leaving an assortment of technology behind. “You asked and we will pay. If you want to continue traveling and adventuring with us we extend-”

“Shut it and pay me. I’m going to bed, oh wait, my bed is buried under ten tons of robot! Just like my weapons and personal stuff,” she glared between the men, “I wouldn’t travel with you for anything you have to offer.”

“Mayhaps I can offer something?” Luna added. “I have seen you in combat and would be more than willing to pay you from the Canterlot royal treasury a sum that would replace anything you may have lost, plus expenses until such a time as I return home. Perhaps ten bits a day,” she smiled and bowed her head slightly, “for [each] of you per day.”

“A bit? Whatever that is I want no part of it,” Viv hissed, “I’m gone in the morning, you boys keep your horse and ride her to hell and back for all I care.”

“Okay, fine,” Raul said as he reached to his sides and unfastened his armor, letting it slide down his arms exposing an upper body that both females couldn’t help but stare at. Rippling muscles and glistening sweat traced the tight flesh that showed the muscle that lies beneath. Luna blinked and looked away first, taking interest in the table Phil had left while Viv cleared her throat and looked to Phil.

“You want payment, you get your stinkin’ payment. If we cross paths again, then so be it,” he said in a sudden accent that Luna couldn’t place, “here,” he reached into his armor, a pocket that was hidden, and pulled out a card, then tossed it to Viv who tried to catch it and fumbled between her weapon and the card, dropping them both in a loud clatter.

Luna’s ears were flat to her head as she chuckled. “Nice catch, verily. As thy are no longer a member of the party, thy rules are not privy to me. However,” she relented under Viv’s kneeling position where she cast a glare from the floor, “I will practice my modern speech. As such, I have a request that all will agree with,” she looked between the group and licked her lips, “breakfast?”

“It’s lunchtime here, you steward of pains.”

Luna finally glared and her horn flared to life, enveloping Viv who squeaked in surprise. “I am steward of the moon,” she said moving the paralysed woman to the edge of her muzzle, “understand?” she snorted a steamy breath onto Viv’s face. “I am no whelp to be insulted at a whim.” Viv glared, but nodded.

Quest

Luna awoke in the morning with a soft yawn on her bed, given to her by Phil the evening before. She blinked her eyes open and sighed, a restful night with no nightmares to be had in her sphere of nighttime influence was what she needed. She looked around the poorly lit room and took in the males and the place where Viv had fallen asleep against the wall, still in full armor and weapon ready.

“May her travels be fortuitous,” Luna whispered and lowered her head, gasping. "My regalia!? That wench hath stolen from me my royal regalia! I shall have her flayed alive and suffer the sparrow’s bloom by my own, "she stood and stamped her hoof, shattering the bed, “hoof!”

“Luna! Please stop shouting… shit,” the men were all on the floor covering their ears while Raul shouted, “my ears are gonna be ringing for hours.”

“That insolent wench hath robbed me in my slumber! Find her, post haste and I will pay you your weight in bits.”

“...What?"

Luna growled but regained her calm. “Thy hearing shall return shortly, then we will discuss finding Viv, and her subsequent execution.”

“...What?”

“Hrugh!” Luna grunted as she began to pace, her ethereal mane showing some supernovae as she fumed.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

“So, she stole your… jewels, and you want us to find her for you?” Dave asked.

“‘Tis not jewelery, it is my royal regalia. Enchanted with spells that would shift the power of an empire should it be misused. I have with me ten bits as a reward,” she lifted a hoof and took two from her front right hoofshoe, “bring me her head and I will reward you as promised.”

“Okay, look, that’s not gonna happen,” Phil said, “she’s gone and we don’t know where. There’s a whole city in ruins she can hide in for half a click and then it’s death heads everywhere beyond that. Their patrols are going to get worse now that they lost a battle, so that’s problem number tw- holy shit is that gold?!”

“A bit is gold covered palladium with an arcanite core. I will pay you ten thousand to find her and this shifter and return to me.”

The men looked to each other and took a knee, bowing deeply as they could. “Yes, my princess.” Phil said. Luna smiled and raised a hoof to Raul and he kissed it before standing, holding it in his hand.

“Uh, you know that one of your bits is probably worth about three thousand credits here.”

“Your credit is worthy to me as thy haven’t done anything to lose it and I trust thee the carry out thy mission.” The men took to their feet and held out their hands, Phil and dave got them while Raul looked to his empty palms. “Should you fulfil your task, Raul, I will make you a deal you would be a fool to refuse.”

He gulped and nodded as the others toyed with their bits. “Hey, I can feel magic in here! Is that what arcanite is? Magic something?”

“‘Tis a piece of gem common to the mountain my sister and I live on. It has some low level magic within it, however it may be worthless here on your earth.”

“Okay, so, now we have to find one woman carrying a pony princess’ gems and regal-ness-stuff-”

“Regalia,” Luna corrected.

“Yeah, that. Avoid certain death at every turn and, while we’re at it, find a shifter who can teleport between realities at will,” Phil stated then groaned loudly, clenching the bit before he opened his hand and let it fall. “It’s been fun, guys. The best year of my life was with you, but I know when it just got too stupid to bother.

“Luna, I hope you, Dave, and Raul find everything you’re all looking for, but as of now, I’m out of this one. Ya have my comms ID, Dave, hit me up if you need me. Maybe I’ll be in range to answer,” he finished with a final bow and placed his bit in Raul’s hands, silently walked to his area and collected several items, packed them quickly, and made to leave.

“Phil, may the stars guide you to the fortune you desire,” Luna said as a bit floated to him. “You are owed for your assistance yesterday, we are even now.”

He took the bit and nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder and placing his helmet on. Then he was gone.

“And then there were two,” Luna said firmly, “do either of you wish to vacate the quest?”

“Nay, princess,” Dave chuckled until he was punched by Raul.

“Show respect for the richest pony on the planet,” he hissed and nodded to Luna.

“I may very well be the only one of my kind on your planet,” she chuckled as she turned and walked the path out, “now come alone and stay safe, I shant save your ‘butts’ everytime we get in a scrap.”

“You just had to teach her the basics,” Dave grumbled about Phil as they followed her outside.

“Well, can you feel your stuff, Luna?”

“Nay,” she looked back with a smirk, “the magic in this land is chaotic in its own harmonious way, I can narry sense beyond a hundred pony lengths.”

“Uh, how far is that, exactly?”

Luna tapped the ground and took a pace forward. “That far is one.”

“So, about a meter. I can work with that. A hundred meters… That’s a decimeter,” Dave said, “so it’s not much but it’s something at least. Let’s look at this logically now, she knows the patrols are that way and that way,” he pointed two directions, “and she’s not exactly carrying something that can be hidden easily so that means she won’t go deeper into the city,” he pointed towards the denser metropolis in the distance that looked to be minorly maintained.

“So that leaves that way, to the friggin’ forest full of no one knows.”

“You don’t know?” Luna asked turning around and lighting her horn. A dark light began to cover her body.

“We’re not from around here, we traveled here to find that mirror in a coalition supply dump and you showed up. Everything about this is just fucked.”

“Hey, esse, watch the language!” Raul scolded.

“‘Tis fine. I have moments where I defecate most profusely…” she paused, “I swear sometimes too.”

“We all do, your Highness. Now,” Raul sealed his helmet and slung his weapon, adjusted his backpack straps, and took to a light jog, “let’s find a thief.”

Not so Innocent

They exited the cityscape and entered a sparse wooded area that spanned farther than they could see through the mountains and hills beyond.

“All these trees are merely my age,” Luna commented, “have your people, war or not, planted an entire forest? I have seen thy eat and I know the diet of a minotaur whence I see one,” she said from behind the two.

“Uh, no. These trees have been growing since the apocalypse. I guess teaching you english aside and trying to understand how you dreamwalk wasted enough time last night,” Dave said, “so, here’s the short of it. The current year is 107 P.A., that’s post apocalypse. Humanity was at the peak of it’s growth in a golden age and we blew everything up and ripped the universe a new one, with our world being at the center of it all.

“It went from a world of humans only,” Dave swallowed hard, “to beasts and demons that literally come from the deepest pits of nightmares.”

Raul spoke up. “It’s not all bad, Princess. There are angels for every demon that come through.”

Luna huffed. “Then what am I to these lands? Angel or demon? Who decides which is which?”

“You do, chicka.”

“Chicka? I am no hen,” Luna replied a bit sullenly.

“No, it means female. Woman, it’s a… term of respect with my people from ages ago. A man, or male, is a chico.”

“Ah, I see. So, as a mare I am ‘chicka’ and as a male, you are,” she hesitated, “chico?”

“Si! Bueno, chicka.”

“Odd,” Luna blinked, “my spells should translate all languages to mine, but I didn’t understand what you said just now.”

“I can answer that,” Dave interjected, “spells that translate only translate when the speaker is speaking their native language or what they’re most comfortable with. Raul here only speaks basic Spanish in the same way I speak basic German. If I spoke in German, guten nacht, you wouldn’t know I just said good night.”

“Most odd… Mayhaps language is more diverse here than it is on my earth.”

“Lady, you have no idea,” Raul said, “there were, like, a hundred thousand languages before the tears, now you have millions of new creatures,” he gestured to the trees and beyond, “each with their own languages. Without magic there’s no way to know them all.”

“And our best mage just quit, leaving little me at the front of the pack,” Dave mumbled.

“I’m certain thy art a formidable foe for any assailant, Dave. Peradventure we nae’er experience such a time, though.”

“Yeah, you said it,” Raul said.

“Let’s just enjoy nature, guys. I think we need it after the day we’ve had.”

Luna’s horn glowed brighter and in a flash she was wearing full body armor, nearly in the style of Nightmare Moon.

“Wow! How’d you do that?!” Dave asked loudly… a little too loudly as a grumble came from nearby.

“Prepare thyselves, a beast approacheth!” Luna shouted taking a defensive stance while the men readied their weapons, Raul sliding a round into the chamber while Dave’s crackled slightly with light blue energy.

A low growl came from a nearby thicket. “Heh, whatever it is it’s small,” Raul joked.

“Shut up, that could be anything. Didn’t you hear that?”

Suddenly a small rabbit hopped from the bush. The group breathed a sigh of relief.

“Stand down, soldiers, tis merely-” she nearly finished before the small rabbit spat out a skull as large as Luna’s body. “...what shouldst we do, soldiers?”

“Shoot it before it gets us,” Dave trembled as he squeezed the trigger. The rabbit exploded into a cloud of fluff and vapor. “That, was easy,” he could be heard grinning in his armor until a small hole opened below where the bunny was and another rabbit hopped out. Then another. Before ten seconds had passed nearly two dozen were on the ground and hopping freely.

“Uh, me thinks it wouldst be in our favor to slowly flee?”

“Right on, Princess,” Raul said taking a step back and cracking the cliche twig, snapping all the attention to the group.

The rabbits’ eyes turned into swirling pools of blue and red as their jaws unhinged in two placed and a low growl emanated from the collective as they exhaled and inhaled at once.

“Oh feces,” Luna said as her horn flared to life creating a shield around them all just as the bunnies leapt and began to gnaw and chew at the bubble.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit! Does this bubble go underground?!”

“Yes!” Luna said as she moved closer to Dave and Raul.

“Good, cuz these things are trying to dig under us… Crap! They’re cratering us! Run!”

They took to a sprint while Luna trotted quickly so she wouldn’t outpace the humans, the rabbits forming a living wave of bloodthirsty beasts.

“Tis a nightmare, indeed! A rabbit shouldst be docile, not thirst for blood,” Luna said loudly as she tried to open her wings but the pain had become a consistent dull throb that she couldn’t ignore when she opened her injured wing. “I shall dispatch them and we shall be free of this nonsense.”

“NO! Don’t lower the shield or expend any magic you don’t have to. They could be here just to weaken us while a larger monster,” Dave stumbled but was caught by Luna and shoved back into a sprint, “thanks!”

“He’s right, Princess. They have a territory so let’s get out of it.”

“And whence we are free of the bunny lands what nightmarish creature awaits us in the next? A herd of fish? A river of mead and ale?!”

“Maybe,” the men said in unison. Luna’s ears drooped. “Horse apples.”

This Doesn't Rock

The three panted and looked over a ledge as the rock monster tumbled and rolled after them. Without a word Luna dropped the shield and leapt with the others toward what was hopefully river water below.

Two minutes later they were dragging themselves from the river and panting.

“I swear to the moon and back that if anything else attacks us, chases us, or otherwise disturbs my mane in the slightest way, I shall destroy it without hesitation!”

The men laughed as they stood up and took a few paces from the river and readied their weapons. “We did say this was an unknown area,” Raul said with a chuckle, “and that means no one, not even your gods, know what’s coming next.”

Luna stood and shook herself dry, her armor rattling slightly as she frowned and walked past them and glared into the seemingly peaceful forest ahead. “I am a goddess on my world,” she growled as she cast a spell that covered the group in darkness, “and as the steward of the night, moon, and realm of dreams, We will be as the nightmares these creatures fear the most!”

A wave of dizziness washed over the men as Luna lowered her aura and looked back to the men with a wry smile. “We shall be left alone from all but the most horrendous creatures, which will feel the wrath of my magic.”

“...What did Phil bring us,” Dave asked Raul who shrugged and followed her lead.

The next two hours were the most unnerving the men had ever experienced as there was no natural sound except for their feet crunching on leaves and twigs. Even the wind seemed to have stopped, casting the area into unnatural silence.

“This’ too creepy, dude.”

“I know, man. What the heck did she do to us?”

“I dunno, bro. But I feel okay. Are we dead and don’t know it?”

“Nah, bruh, I gotta pee, ghosts don’t do that. Do they?”

“I don’t know, chief. All I know is I haven’t heard a worm so much as fart since the river…”

“Mine ears are not affected by the silence you have broken, gentlemen. We are the terrors nature fears in their primitive minds. The wind is just happenstance,” she looked back with a smile, “should I show you what I look like to them?”

They looked to one another and shook their heads slowly. With a wry smile Luna turned ahead again, but her tail seemed to drip with green slime that burnt a markless trail behind her for a few seconds.

“Jesus, man… We’re monsters to the monsters,” Dave whispered hoarsely.

“I know, it’s so cool!”

“I wanna find a beast and scare it!”

“Nay, stay thy course,” Luna scolded. “Leave me and the spell is null.”

“Oh,” they said in unison.

“...Are we there yet?”

Luna lowered her head and sighed as she led the two.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

“Verily,” Luna announced as Dave cleared his throat at her, “I mean, look ahead, gentlecolts, er, men.”

“Whatever,” Raul clarified, “go on.”

“The edge nears. I can tell from the sparsity between the foliage. Another, ahem, what do you and Celestia call it… half an o’clock?”

“Hour?”

“Yes!” she looked back to the helmeted men with a smile, “that. Then we shall see what the land has to offer us.”

“Princess, we don’t need to wait that long,” Dave muttered as he motioned with his hand. Raul dropped to his belly and crawled quickly ahead. Luna lowered her body, her armor making nary a noise as she did so. “Contact, eleven o’clock.”

Luna looked to him. “Thy said it was two o’clock a mile away ago,” she hissed.

“Shut it,” Dave replied sharply, his eyes narrow at a point past Luna. Luna squinted at him curiously and followed his gaze, then halted her breath.

A skull-walker stood still in the trees near the edge of a clearing with several soldiers in nearly full armor lingering around. Many had their helmets off and were conversing, and Luna took note of them all. All were humans, nearly all male, and armed with enough weaponry to leave her a smoking wisp in the air, should she be found.

“What do we do?” Luna whispered as Dave sided her.

“Move slow and pray to whoever will listen that they don’t see us.”

“Let us return whence we came.”

“No, if we go back we may run into a patrol. We go around,” he said moving slowly past her.

“Wait!” she hissed as her horn lit to life and she closed her eyes. A dull hum escaped her throat as she laid her head on her gilded shoes and sighed. Dave looked at her and lay flat, a slight yawn escaping him and Raul.

They turned their attention to the armored humans in the clearing and watched as they began to yawn, sit down with their weapons ready to fire and their backs to each other, then fell asleep. The skull-walker hissed and remained still, a quiet thud followed by several others in the distance.

Luna opened her eyes and smiled. “There, problem solved. Now, shall we-”

“What’d you do?!” Raul shouted his question.

Luna stood tall and shook slightly in her form fitting armor. “They are asleep only, not dead. As guardian of the night it is-”

“They’ll scour the whole forest for us now! Damnit,” he stood and kicked a rock with the side of his boot while Dave growled lowly.

“We have to leave, now.” Dave said as he stood and took a fast trek around the clearing with the others following.

Luna remained quiet as she followed Dave, with Raul behind her keeping guard. “I, would like to apologize for my strategical error in judgement, I believe I was helping-”

“We don’t wanna hear it, chica. No magic, no talking. Just be a pony and make that noise when you have to.”

Luna was about to retort but stopped herself. “I realize you are upset with me, but being specist is not going to help our situation.”

“I’m not specist,” Raul replied, “I’m just not in the mood to talk to the chica that might have killed me in a few hours.”

Luna remained quiet for several minutes as they made their way ahead in the forest, now with the sounds of nature and animals around them. Luna was sullen but enjoyed the natural noise until they reached the sudden edge of the forest.

“Crap, get down!”

“What the funky cold Medina is that?”

“The forest… it lays in waste,” Luna intoned, “and the humans we saw before are the cause?”

“Yeah, they are. They must’ve found a magic bug.”

“That is not humorous,” Luna said looking at Dave.

“He’s serious,” Raul mumbled, “they’re extremists. Ya know what those are, right?”

“Verily. The war with the Minotaurs was one fought between all races and their males whilst the females attempted to lean their mates to peace. It was a confusing war, but all the creatures of my world learnt much. Several hundred years later, in fact, during the war with the gryphons-”

“Look,” Raul pointed ahead at several skull-walkers in the distance walking away, “they’re leaving. All we have to do is w-” he fell silent as a blast from behind vaporized a hole through his chest. The other two looked over to him in surprise as his biological body vaporized even after the blast has dissipated.

“SHIT!” Raul shouted as he grabbed Luna by her barding and tugged her, more out of instinct than practical thought. A blast narrowly missed where she was as she gasped at the fading image of Dave’s armor falling empty with dust escaping any way it could. She moved and nosed under Raul’s legs, slipping him onto her back.

“Hold on if you value your life,” she shouted. Her shoes began to glow a light blue and as Raul’s grip tightened she began to gallop faster than he could have imagined. The world blurred by him and he felt slightly dizzy. “Do not sleep or it will be your last,” he heard her speak clearly as though they weren’t blurring through reality as a flash of light passed around them.

A shuddering sound began to send trembles through his body before Luna slowed suddenly. “We art clear of the dangers that be, for the moment,” she panted and let her legs fall beneath her and she impacted the ground with a metal clunk and an exhale.

He blinked and gulped in fresh air then stood, looked around the town square he found themselves in, then grunted and fell to his knees. He pounded the ground several times with his fists and reached for his rifle, grasping at empty air he growled and stood to look down a Luna.

“You left him to die!” he shouted as he took a lunging step and kicked her in her barding. Then again, and again. He screamed at her, ignoring the crowd of creatures and humans that were encircling them. “He might have-”

“Do you feel better?” Luna asked as her horn flared to life and she stood, wings open and taller than she was, nearly the height of Raul now. “Thy friend was dead from the blast that ended his life before you. He turned to dust in the wind!” she bellowed then looked to him with glowing eyes. She saw him tremble and his eyes began to water.

She dispelled the illusion and stumbled forward into his arms, her wings hanging limply beside her. “Raul, you are a noble warrior, as was Dave. If you must blame me for his loss, then so be it, but do not hide the sorrow within. It will destroy you.”

He chuckled dryly. “I just kicked a royal princess from ponyland, that’s about as expressive as I can be… chica.” She hummed again as she fell asleep. “Luna? Shit, Luna?! Hey, is there a doctor here?”

Healing

Luna groaned and winced, her eyes fluttering open to look at a plain white wall. She turned her neck cautiously and looked around the small room, quaint crossed her mind. Nothing stood out, there were no medical devices, and she got the feeling it was a foals room as she rolled to her other side and nickered in exhaustion, a hoof covering her muzzle in embarrassment.

A princess doesn’t nicker, winney, or graze she recited to herself.

A sound caught her ears and her attention as she moved to sit up, a dull pain aching her sides. The door opened and a creature she couldn’t even explain stood at the threshold. ’Woah, there,’ it spoke into her mind directly, ‘stay down, lass.’

“Ugh,” she struggled to get a knee under herself and stay up, “I am no lass. I am Princess Luna-”

‘Whoever you are, you need rest. I have worked on many equines in my years,’ the creature said, it’s six eyestalks looking at her from what seemed to be a scientist labcoat holding more of it’s body in, ‘but none so exquisite as you. My assistant will be along shortly and we can have a proper conversation.

Luna frowned. “I would appreciate that you stay out of my mind and memories…”

‘Ah, I hear you asking for a name. Doc Blue, they call me. I think it is a human musing, since my stalks are green. And no, I am not edible,’ he mused and shook in silent laughter, you’re the first equine to not think that first.’

“I am the first of many, it seems,” she huffed, lying down, “and you are the first of your kind I have ever seen.”

’And perhaps the last,’ he mused again, ‘my kind were slaves and sold, traded, and thrown away. I was bought by a mercenary, bent on global domination... it died. Now, I live and work here as medic for dee-bee’s and as town mechanic.’

“What is that?”

Ah, an interdimensional being. Dee-bee, for short. Ah, she arrives.’

The doorway was cleared by Doc Blue and a young woman ran in, panting. “Sorry, Doc. I had, to see a cat, on Clover Avenue.” The creature moved two of it’s ‘eyes’ to the woman and a tense few seconds passed. “Yes, sir,” she snapped to attention, “ma’am, my name’s Ariel. Pleased to meet you, your highness. I’m here to bridge the communication gap between you both.”

“We were communicating fine, Ariel,” Luna blinked and lay her head against a pillow, “and where is Raul? I believed him to be my knight.”

“Oh-ho-ho?” Ariel winked, “A knight in shining armor to save you, by chance?” Luna blushed while three of the eyes looked at Ariel now. Ariel winced. “I’m sorry! Sheesh. A talking horse dee-bee and now I’m the one in trouble?”

“I am a pony. Horses live near Saddle Arabia, among other places far outside my homeland.”

“He said the reason we have to talk through me is that your mind is too chaotic and he can only talk to you and no one else while he’s talking with you.”

Luna’s head rose. “I am not chaos, I am harmony… or at least, I was.”

“No, he doesn’t mean your magic mumbo-jumbo,” Ariel sighed, “he means your mind is busy. He is a psychic, not mage. There’s a difference here.”

“Oh? And what may that be?” Luna asked sarcastically, expecting a clever retort from the young woman.

Luna lifted from the table and her legs instinctively began to run, trying to grasp anything as she was levitated from bed to the ceiling where her hooves were placed firmly. “He can change the laws of physics for a little while with concentration. You can do it permanently with your magic and never have to worry about it again.”

The ability stopped and Luna rolled midair, landing on the bed and bouncing once to the floor, the bed broken behind her.

“Yes,” Ariel said with a nod, “don’t jump in the house again. You weigh more than you look and it’s exhausting to fix things.” Luna used her left hoof to scratch her mane as she apologized. Doc Blue walked past her and placed two long shoots on the bed and several fine tendrils emerged. “While he fixes the bed, ya wanna get somethin’ ta drink?! … Sorry, my manners, yeah yeah. Would you care for some milk or something, Your Highness?”

Luna looked from Doc Blue to Ariel and smirked, her ears listening intently to the area before she spoke. “Nay, water shall suffice.”

Ariel snickered. “Then to your knight in shining armor?”

Luna frowned again. “Shining Armor is the captain of my sister’s royal guard. He is not… oh,” she blushed, “you mean, Raul. Yes, We wouldst enjoy seeing him. Is he well… Where is Our barding and mine shoes?”

“Sheesh, you do talk funny. Raul has them. He’s been watching your stuff since we stripped you. And before you get mad, whatever you did to appear here burnt you outta magic in your armor and whatever.”

“So, thy saved, ahem, y-you took my armor off because?”

“Because you might have had an injury and we couldn’t scan you. Too much interference.”

“Ah, I see,” Luna said following Ariel into a main room where Raul sat in a corner, guarding her affects, “Raul,” she smiled and trotted to him, offering him a nuzzle, startling him awake.

“Gah! Luna?! You’re okay!” he hugged her neck tightly. “I owe you one for saving me and I’m sorry I kicked you.”

“I can attest I’ve had worse,” she replied as she stood up, backed away from him, and her horn flared to life, her armor flying around her body and interlocking itself. “I do not feel safe here, Raul. Everyday has attempted to take my life or injure me in some way. I have never been chased by a rock before.”

They shared a short laugh. “Me neither, to be honest. I’ve been shot at by a giant plant, though.”

Luna winked. “As have I. Now, where are we and where to next?”

“The town of Babbling Brooke, named after a crazy old woman who talked herself to death,” Ariel added, “and that armor is gonna get you killed, you need an upgrade,” she waved a finger from Luna’s head to tailed armored body.

“You are mistaken, this is enchanted armor capable of deflecting the mightiest blasts and sharpest weapons.”

“Magic resistant, I know. I’m not a mage but I can feel the power and so can every other person in town. It’s a magnet for magical entities and this rock monster probably just smelled your armor. Another thing,” Ariel said leaning against the doorframe separating the main room from the hallway.

“There’s another issue here, ‘Princess’,” Ariel mocked, “you emit too much magic too. That hair of yours, as amazing as it is, screamed to the locals when you arrived that living magic had arrived. If you can’t mask your powers you’ll be hunted constantly for-”

“We understand,” Luna interrupted, “thy needn’t condescend to Us, me.” With a sigh her horn shimmered and her mane changed from ethereal to a long blue mane of hair that lay limply by her side, her tail replaced by the same hair. “My mane is a reflection of my power over the sky. Here, on this world, I can feel and see that if I were to intervene in the heavens that the results would be disastrous.

“My ponies have long since mastered maths and sciences of the likes that would boggle your mind, girl,” she replied snidely, “and I have used them to deduce this world to be a small part in a larger mechanism-”

“Blah, blah, blah. The horse is smart, good job,” Ariel said in a bemused tone, “that armor is calling to every monster and dee-bee in a dozen miles. Turn it off, please.”

With a grunt Luna dispelled her armor. “Better, child?”

“Child? You’re what, twenty years old? I’m nineteen, not exactly a big difference, granny.”

“Granny?!”

“Ladies! Please! Just, calm your titties and chill.”

Both females shot Raul a glare. “Apologize to Us at once.”

“Yeah, that was rude.”

Raul sighed. “Chica, you’re amazing but… ignorant about this world. Ariel, you’re a hothead. Both of you need to put away your differences and get along or this’ll be a long day,” he yawned, “longer than this ese wants. I got almost no sleep watching that armor you just magicked away so I’m gonna put my head in this here helmet and get some sleep and if you wake me up with fighting, I’ll say something that’ll make you both best friends.”

The females looked at each other and blinked. Then laughed as Luna approached Ariel. “He is correct. Our disagreement is poorly founded. I apologize for insulting your age.”

“And I’m sorry for all that stuff, too. So, are you really a princess? What’s that like?”

“Yes, I am in charge of my ponies and the night itself. The moon does my bidding,” she said proudly, “even if it only rises and falls in the eternal mechanism,” she smirked, “over the past few hundred years of my life it has been fairly well, save for my thousand year banishment, that is.”

“Woah, wait!” Raul sat up, “you’re fifteen hundred years old?!”

“Well, technically I am older still, but yes, I look well for my age?” she smiled hopefully.

“Wow, you’re kinda hot for an old lady,” Ariel said sending Luna into a blush, “and for a horse.”

“I am a pony, and I am experienced, not old,” she lifted her chin indignantly.

“I know that feeling,” Raul mumbled.

The humans chuckled as Raul laid back down on the couch. “Okay, my bad. I’m a sniper and weapons expert. At least that’s what they say about me, I just pick up a gun and know how to shoot it, nothing to it. Hey, wanna fire some shots?”

“I do not drink, Ariel, but I thank you for the offer.”

Guns and Bullets

Luna held the weapon in her magic and looked at it curiously, turning it over and looking at it’s polished details.

“Don’t look down the barrel, ever. It’s not loaded but if you find a gun, and you will find a few, now only will they be loaded with ammo but they could be trapped or poorly maintained and fire at random or overcharge in your magic grip. This is a standard issue laser rifle, you’ll see weapons like these all over the place but mostly used by low level guards or new adventurers who think the world can be taken with guts and pride.

“The trigger is there, like I said. Some weapons I can’t use because they’re based on magic and I’m not a mage. You can use them, though. They may or may not have a trigger or have something else. I won’t be able to help you with those so be, fucking,” Luna’s ears twitched, “careful.”

“We do not appreciate such vulgar language and a girl like you shouldn’t speak as such. However, We understand that… ahem, I understand that I am not at my home and shouldst understand or adapt to your language.”

“What, no one swears where you’re from?”

“We, do, however the term ‘buck’ or ‘hay’ is used, except by the elite soldiers or ignorant peasants. No, no longer are they peasants,” she sighed, “I was gone for too long and missed the equalization of the tribes.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that later, right now point the rifle down range and load your first clip. It’s an energy clip with two shots I found during a scouting mission last week. That’s another thing, weapons need ammo, some bullets and some energy. Magic ones will never need anything as long as you pump your own power into it.

“The clips you find might have a charge or bullets in them, so save whatever you can because recharging an energy clip can be expensive and bullets run out too fast when you’re in a fight.”

Luna aimed the rifle toward the rebuilt hill and target, loaded the weapon carefully and winced as it clicked into place, locked in it began to hum for a second before falling silent in her hold. “Okay, now I shot it?”

“Shoot it, and no. First you need to look down the sights. Lower the rear to your snout-”

“Muzzle.”

“-that, and… wait, your face thing is a muzzle? That,” she giggled, “the rifle’s barrel is called a muzzle sometimes. That’s pretty cool.”

“May we continue?”

“Yeah, ahe-hem, lower it and look down the whole rifle and there are two sights. The rear one lines up with the front one and you cover the target then pull the trigger.”

Luna lined up her sights on the target and grinned widely. Nothing happened. She tried again. Nothing happened.

“The safety’s on, remember?” Luna blushed and nodded, disengaging the safety and taking aim again. The trigger made a light click and Luna frowned.

“Nothing happened.”

“No, you fired it and missed really bad. Laser and most energy and magic weapons don’t make noise except for the vaporization of the air as they pass through. There’s a switch by the trigger you can press and it’ll simulate a sound so you know it fired, but it takes away the element of surprise.”

Luna looked and clicked the switch then sighted again, pulling the trigger with her magic she flinched as a buzzing sound left the weapon.

“That’s better, you hit the dirt that time, but you’re not getting near the target. I only had the two shots to spare so we have to call the energy weapon trials and go into the bullets. Same rules, except you’ll see where these go and everyone in about a half mile will know you fired and they’ll be able to figure out where you fired from if they’re good at what they do.

“Take my weapon and be bucking careful,” she said firmly as she smirked. Luna smirked back and traded the weapons taking a look at it and loading a clip with three shots. She looked down the sights, turned off the safety, and pulled the trigger. The shot was so loud Luna dropped the weapon and backpedaled, ears flat to her head and her tail low.

Ariel’s laughter echoed as Luna collected her senses.

“That was not funny,” Luna said shaking her head again.

“Hay, sure was to me,” she grinned.

“I believe I will use the quiet ones. Ponies have better hearing than humans, I believe. That caused me pain.”

“Woah, you’re not gonna kick me in the crotch, are you?” Ariel restrained a laugh as she crossed her legs and covered herself.

Luna rolled her eyes and smiled. “You have not done anything to deserve as such, and I happen to like you.” They shared a hearty laugh as Luna picked up the rifle and pulled the clip out. “Here is your--”

The final round in the chamber discharged and sent the rifle spinning from Luna’s grasp. She fell to the ground with a scream and covered her head, Ariel did the same. The rifle clicked as it landed in Raul’s hands.

“Holy crap, chica’s. Ya tryin’ ta wake the dead? It’s suppertime and we’ve gotta get back into town before nightfall… and I’m sorry to hear about your fight with Aran. I never knew him to fight so dirty as to kick a woman where it hurts.”

The females stood and gulped. “He got what he deserved.”

“Haha, yeah, he’s not gonna pee for the next two days, I bet. C’mon, let’s get some food. We have ham, hamburgers, hotdogs… and a full salad for the Princess.”

Luna sighed slightly. “Thank thee, Raul.”

“Hey, wasn’t me, they have a few dee-bee’s that can’t eat meat. Just, stay away from anything purple, Luna.”

“He’s right. It might be alive.”

“But, you said they were vegetables.”

“They are.”

Luna took in what they said and shuddered.

Some Secrets...

Luna sat at a table in a large sort of barn with Raul and Ariel. Aran sat alone with a spoon trembling in his hand as he tried to eat what looked like a chili. “Perhaps I shouldst apologize for striking his siring staff with such force,” she said as she leaned into her salad and took a bite.

“Siring staff? You mean his dick and balls? Chica, he needed that from what I hear,” Raul laughed, “not enough he lost to a pony, but a female in a magic duel and on the moon. Our friggin moon!” he said emphatically garnering the attention of several other people and a sneer from Aran as he dropped his spoon and winced, lifting a bag of ice from his crotch and raised his middle finger to Luna before the bag slipped from his grip, returning from whence it came.

Aran grunted and hunched forward slamming his head into the table sending the half the town’s residents into a laughing fit at his expense. Luna sighed and excused herself, cantering to Aran and cleared her throat. “I humbly apologize for injuring you so fiercely. It was not my intention as stallions have a higher threshold for pain when it comes to their siring staffs… I mean dick and balls.”

He snorted a laugh and lifted his head from the table. “You don’t even know what that means, do you?”

“I… it means the same, does it not?” she blushed and looked aside.

“Yeah, but it… you know what, it does,” he resigned himself, “so that’s it then? We’re even?”

“I, it wasn’t my intention to do this to you and I will make it up to you. When I return to my world I will gift you as you see fit from the royal treasury or archives of ancient magic and lore.”

“That sounds fair,” he said in a humble tone. “Let’s start over. I’m Aran, Shi-Aran. I’m a Ley Line Walker. As it sounds, I use leylines for all they have to offer. I can’t compare to you, though. I’ve never heard of anyone, not even a Shifter, that could get to the moon on the first try.”

Luna smiled warmly as she raised a hoof to shake. “I am Princess Luna, steward of the moon and stars in the heavens, guardian of dreams, and defender against the Realm of Nightmares,” she sighed, “mostly.”

A woman stood up and shouted to Luna. “Tell us! Tell us of where you’re from? We wanna know! We wanna know! We wanna know!” Within a breath the whole barn of creatures and people were chanting.

Luna inhaled. Very well! I shall regale you with the tale of my darkest night,” she paused when Raul waved a hand over his mouth, “and of my brightest days. Where I am from ponies live in our lands in peace, but it wasn’t always the case. One thousand years ago I…”

She told them the tale of her fall from glory, her transformation into Nightmare Moon, her subsequent banishment, and her return to normalcy, as relative a term that could be.

The barn was silent, most of the town was not present as she completed her story. She blinked and sniffled, noticing the crowd listening intently to her, reading her surface thoughts, or having certain words translated to languages she didn’t know. “I, am sorry. I wasn’t expecting to recall such events so soon and so openly.”

A slow clap began and within ten seconds Luna’s grimace turned to a grin at the praise she was receiving. Her wings began to open on their own and she stood tall, regally, and bowed.

Later, after the crowd had asked questions about life on her world they took their leave with a head full of imagery and thoughts of such a nice world existing and what they’d do there, or do to it.

“What can you do, Princess Luna?” A young girl asked meekly. Luna’s mouth opened and closed, unsure of how to answer. “Are you just a pony or a magic unicorn one, like in my books?”

Luna’s horn alit and her mane shifted to her starry form as she inhaled. A moment later and there was a shout from outside. “The MOON! Look!” The barn was emptied in a moment and the townspeople ooh’d and awe’d as Raul and Ariel left Luna’s side. Aran limped quickly to see as well.

The moon was shimmering blue above them. Still as far away as it ever was, but the shimmer was enough to convince them she had some powers. With a wince she collapsed and the moon began to shift through the sky to a lower eastern spot and the glow faded as Luna’s horn dimmed and her mane returned to its normal pony state.

Luna disliked hearing whispers in other languages she wasn’t supposed to hear but understood due to her translation magic. She let it go, and with a struggle she took to her four hooves and trotted out of the barn and past the townspeople and creatures to the home she was staying in. With a light push of her magic she opened the door to Doc Blue’s house and walked in, Aran and Raul close behind while Ariel stayed back to help clean up from the banquet.

She found the couch and hopped onto it, laying as best she could with a sigh. “Today has been most taxing. May I have a drink?” she looked to Aran who nodded and ran as quickly as he could from the room, leaving a grinning Raul behind.

“So, ya got your own gringo to do your bidding?”

“What? ‘Gringo’?” she asked him tilting her head.

“It means… ya know what, forget about it.”

“No, tell me,” Luna asked, her ears perking towards him.

“It means, well, outsider? Weirdo? Jerk, in his case. I guess that’s a good way to put it, just means that he’s different from us.”

“From us?”

“Yeah, you’re like my cousin, in a way…” he hesitated and looked away.

“What are you not saying? Raul, I have been here for the longest three days of my life and I would appreciate you-” she stopped as Aran returned with an old mug with murky water in it. “Thank you, Aran. Please, leave us so we may speak.”

Aran looked between Luna and Raul, rolled his eyes, then left the house with a slam of the door.

...Are Better Left Unsaid

Luna looked calmly at Raul as he took a knee, resting his arm on it as he removed his helmet with his other hand and placed it on the floor. His black hair was slightly messy and formed to what the shape of the helmet, but was still as sleek as she remembered it. Her mind and eyes wandered to his chest and the memory of how strong he was. For a biped, that was.

“Luna, there are some things that I can’t tell you, but know that for as long as I’m able I’ll be here to watch over you. It’s partly my fault you’re here, you see-” a shuffling sound and Doc Blue entered the room, his tendril eyes flipping to look at Luna then Raul, the settling on the both of them.

‘You are welcome to watch the Tee-Vee,’ he annunciated in Luna’s mind then all his eyes looked to Raul and silence befell the room. Raul shrugged and got up, helmet in his hand, and quietly left the room to where the bedrooms were. ‘I, can not speak to or read his mind. Is he a mage?’

“There are many things I do not know about that man, but it is none of my concern. I am not worried about him, he has proven to be a loyal friend and servant to the crown… that I do not wear,” she sighed. Doc Blue waited patiently. “I, am not from this world, and even on my own I am almost a, dee-bee. The world I knew is long dead as are all my friends and consorts,” he mind flooded with images of long lost ponies.

“The years We were evil had taken their toll on mine sister as well. Whence the tides turned and We were again whole mine sister and I lay to sleep confessing our deepest feelings-”

‘Your words are being lost to me…’

“Ah, yes. Well, my sister and I were reunited and since then she hath taken it upon herself to teach me the ways of the world and how it’s changed. I… do not know if I belong there anymore than I do here.”

Doc Blue moved closer, she noticed his legs were tendrils like his head, slithering skillfully like a dozen snakes dancing in motion. He reached and opened his lab coat. ‘I am a dee-bee, and as such I am a curiosity here, as you are. I have never seen a talking equine, much less with your abilities, yet we are each unique to this world.

‘My world was destroyed and my kind enslaved for our powers. We can fix things. Our masters had us fix their ships while they went from universe to universe, pillaging and enslaving, he closed his coat and began to turn away, before you admonish yourself to a time of self-pity, be thankful you are free. If I may suggest, look to the dark one you travel with and learn why he is not human, like us. What makes him special, maybe you will find a kindred spirit as I have in many other creatures in this town.’

Luna blinked and looked down the hallway. She placed a gilded hoof to the floor and stopped, looking at her quicksilver shoes and lifted the one she’d placed on the floor.

With a sigh she looked from Raul’s door to her own and went to bed.

…

A Toilet?

Luna woke with a start and calmed herself. She believed dreamwalking would be relaxing, it was anything but. What she saw was beyond her imagination in horrors and terrors that some creatures live with while others had learnt over the years to dream of nothing at all, their minds blank… Then there was Raul. The human that wasn’t a human. A dee-bee? A secret mage?

She didn’t know but the knowledge of such was beginning to drive her mad at some levels. Perhaps he could shape shift? Mayhaps into a… stallion?

She blushed and shook her head, clearing her thoughts of such drole ideas and moved a hoof to her mane, brushing it away from her face. She chuckled as she felt the strands of hair falling into their own places. With a thought she allowed her mane to return to its ethereal state again and looked at what she could see. It was as dark as the night sky with constellations, stars and nebulae.

But it felt empty.

She willed her mane back to a traditional dark blue and lay her head down on her pillow and dozed to sleep, her own sleep this time.

When she awoke the sun was above the horizon and shown through the window, warming her coat slightly. She yawned and stretched, then felt the all too familiar feeling all creatures have when waking from a restful sleep. She trotted to the door and opened it quickly, looking back at her bed and felt a knock on her horn.

She turned to see Raul, shirtless and mid yawn, yanking his hand back and trying to will the yawn away as he mumbled something.

“Tis well and good morrow to thee, Raul. I must make water, please excuse me!” she rushed past him and into the bathroom with a hurry. Raul could only smirk as he scratched his abs and turned to his room.

“Good mornin’ to ya too, Princess.”

Luna looked at the toilet in frustration. It wasn’t a squat toilet at all! How was she, a royal princess in another world, supposed to… she grimaced at the thought but relented and tried to mount the bowl. She slipped a hoof into the water to her chagrin. She tried to hover, she considered the bathtub. Finally she grumbled to herself and simply turned, backed onto it, and went.

She decided that it was as good a time as any for a bath. She hadn’t had one in two days and that was more of a river rinse than a good bath. And to clean her foreleg and tail from her mess trying to figure out the damnable toilet. She cursed it under her breath and considered just teleporting to the woods to relieve herself like a simple pony of her time would… but that would attract any number of creatures that would feast on her while she relieved herself. Best to learn to use what was nearby than to die in a form of comfort.

She stood in the porcelain tub and slipped, planting her chin on the rim and whinnying. She planted her hooves better and turned on the water, only to watch it run down the drain. She huffed and looked for anything to stop it. A towel should work fine. The water was icy cold but refreshing as she laid down and let it fill to cover her body before she turned it off.

“Ah, this is what mine bodice needed; A good soak.” A knock at the door pulled her from her reverie. “Whom is there?”

“It’s Ariel and I gotta pee! Open up!” Luna opened the door with her magic and grinned as the younger woman entered the room and stopped, looking at the pony in a bath. She looked to the toilet and then back to Luna. “So… are you gonna,” she motioned to the door.

“Oh, certainly,” Luna answered and closed the door, locking it with her magic as she turned and looked out the window, sighing as the cold water worked against her skin, “this is a lovely land you call home. What is its name? I have yet to ask that beyond ‘earth’.”

Ariel bounced twice before she unbuckled her pants and made for the toilet, sitting firmly on it. “Ahh, oh yeah, that’s way better…”

“Ah, so that is how it is used? I could have used your expertise a mileaway ago.”

“A what-now?”

“Ah, time is relative. Uhm, roughly half an hour? When I made water myself,” she looked at the floor and inhaled sharply, blushing and widening her eyes.

“Oh… that’s why it’s a little wet,” Ariel said looking between her legs at the floor. “Bah, i’ve stepped in worse.”

“No, I am truly sorry! I… have made a mess as a foal would and-”

“Look, drop it. You’re new here and it’s way better than what Doc Blue leaves,” she smiled as she reached to a small cubby and removed some toilet paper.

Luna gasped. “You have wiping materials here? If only I knew,” she huffed and sank below the surface of the water as Ariel stood and flushed.

Ariel waited until Luna resurfaced before talking. “Look, I know you’re on a new world but us gals gotta stick together, okay? So if you have any questions,” she reached to touch Luna’s neck and squeaked, “dang that’s cold! Why are you in an ice bath? Wait, let me guess, you didn’t know we have hot water?”

Luna looked at Ariel and lowered her muzzle into the tepid water and exhaled deeply.

…

Luna grunted in slight protest as Ariel dried her coat and mane with a new towel while hanging the wet one used to plug the drain out the window. “You know, I’m glad I don’t have fur or hair all over my body. This would suck.”

“Yes, well it is the way of my kind to not wear clothes, as those ‘suck’, as you say. But there are times we must in the same as you must wear more clothing to make up for your lack of a coat.”

“Haha, I think you just one-upped me, did you just one-up me?”

Luna let her ears flatten to her head as Ariel began to dry her head. “I do not know what that means, but if it is what I think, than yes, I have ribbed you.”

“Ha, ‘ribbed’. Pulled my leg?”

“...Do human women have tails that I may pull?”

Ariel snorted a laugh. “No, if we did… oh the guys’d die trying to get under them.”

It was Luna’s turn to laugh. “All males are indeed the same, then. I wouldst consider it a lucky week where I wasn’t courted by some dunce trying to mate with me. As though it were a contest to win my tail swipe on their hindquarters,” she mused.

“Yeah, I don’t know your people well enough to answer that, but I guess all guys are dogs, amiright?”

“I apologize, I don’t understand again. How is a male like a dog?”

Ariel snickered into her wrist as she stood and pointed to her crotch. “They all wanna bury their bones.”

Luna looked at Ariel and the spot she pointed to and her ears perked. “Oh! I get it! I understand,” she laughed heartily and clopped a hoof on the floor loudly, “indeed they are! May we be happy we can only become pregnant once a year, yes?” she grinned foolishly as Ariel laughed back.

“Oh, you’re in for a surprise in a week or so. Stick with me and I’ll teach you what you need to know about earth, humans and then some.”

Target Practice

Raul walked into the bathroom and looked around. “Smells like horse in here,” he joked as he closed and locked the door behind himself. Several minutes later he left the room and closed the door quickly. “Now it smells like man!”

Ariel and Luna looked at him with bemused expressions. “You’re so gross.”

“I’m also hot as lava, chica. What’s going on with you two?” he asked as he skipped gaily over.

The females giggled. “What the hell was that just now? The prancing?”

“Just doing my morning stretches. It’s great for the glutes and knees, try it sometime. And…”

“Oh, we were talking about hair care. Turns out manes are a lot like our hair so we can share soaps!”

“Rather, experiment. Some soaps are not made for royal coats,” Luna’s chin rose slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, and I bet toilets aren’t made for your royal poop? Get over it, amiga, and remember where you are.”

Luna frowned at Raul. “For a knight you are foul mouthed to your-”

“You’re not my princess!” Raul snapped, anger across his face. “I, I’m sorry. It’s been a long few days and I just lost a good friend.”

“Ah, yes. Dave died the way of a true warrior and will be remembered.”

Ariel opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Raul. “He died because of your magic sleep spell. I’ve lost enough friends over the years to know loss and it doesn’t hurt like it once did, but watching him turn to dust next to you…” he closed his eyes and sighed.

“It never becomes easier,” Luna admitted while she sat next to Ariel, who produced a brush from her side and began to brush Luna’s mane. “Believe me, Raul. When you reach my age,” she gulped and looked at him apologetically, “if you were to, that is,” he rolled his eyes, “you’d learn that all you can do is hide the pain, not vanquish it.”

“I know what loss is over time,” he narrowed his eyes, “and don’t assume to know me or what I’ve been through in my life so far, princess. I’ve done well enough here and I’m proud to live on in my fallen friends and family’s honor.”

Luna winced as Ariel hit a snag and tugged it free. “Raul, I did not mean to imply or insist at thy experience but thee must understand that mine needs are simply to return to whence I came and right the wrongs of my past.”

“Hey, I know you two are in a lovers quartet, or whatever,” Ariel said to both the others’ surprise, “but Doc Blue says breakfast is ready.”

Luna closed her mouth and swallowed hard as her gaze returned to Raul, who was blushing the same as she was. “We, he and myself are not swiving.”

“Heh, ‘swiving’,” Raul chuckled, “I haven’t heard that one in ages. Princess, care for a-” He stopped at the glare she shot him and wisely changed the topic. “So, what’s for breakfast?”

“A meal for us and them?”

Raul rolled his neck and stretched his arms. “Well, I’m ready to feast on a dozen unborn fowls,” he grinned. Luna grinned. Ariel grimaced and stuck out her tongue. “It means eggs, ya freak,” Raul and Luna began to laugh.

…

Luna held the rifle in her magical grasp and squeezed the trigger, a smile crossed her muzzle. “I like this one. I can feel the magic inside it and it flows with my movements quite nicely,” she spun it around in the air and smirked as Ariel and Raul ducked.

“Do, not do that again,” Ariel scolded.

“It’s a magic weapon and you’re a magic pony, so it makes sense that it’d work for you. Ariel and me can’t use it since we can’t use magic,” Raul said, standing tall and proud. Luna nearly called him out as a magic user but stopped herself. “As a magic user you can use all the weapons we know of and plenty I’m sure we don’t.

“Because magic weapons use magic bullets or beams you may never run out, but be careful because it’s easy to pump too much magic into these kind of weapons and drain yourself in the middle of a battle. Granted, real battles are rare, but you wouldn’t want to take the chance, right?”

Luna looked to the distance in thought and hummed. “Yes, there is another thing I have noticed. My magic isn’t replenishing as quickly as it normally should. I feel slightly drained from my sparring match with Aran.”

“You teleported him to the moon,” Raul said flatly, “you both should have died, not to mention the lunar dust that should have made you both sick for days.”

“No, my spell protected us from the dusts, but it feels tiring to use magic. Perhaps Aran will know why.”

“Perhaps. I’ll go get him,” Raul excused himself with a slight bow and wink to Luna.

“...So, just us ladies again, huh?”

“It would seem so. Is there something on your mind, child?”

“Nah, just excited to get back to shooting. You’re leaving soon and I’m coming with you, kinda excited to-”

“Wait, pardon me? When am I leaving? Did Raul tell you this?”

“Well,” Ariel scratched her head, “yes, I thought you knew. He talked with Aran and me about getting your stuff back so you can get home and we agreed to tag along. We’re tired of this town and Doc Blue can take care of himself. He’s, like, ninety years of bamboo.” Luna giggled.

“He is the most peculiar creature I’ve met so far. He’s a living plant, of sorts, a genius, a mage,” she looked at the target, “and lost from his home as well. One of a very few that won’t see another of his kind for the rest of his days,” she sighed, “yes, it is about time we moved on. But promise me this, Ariel. That if it becomes too dangerous you will run or hide. I cannot travel with a clear conscious knowing you will be in danger.”

“That won’t be a problem, I’m the best sniper in a thousand miles, I take my own trail with Aran a ways back and we cover you from above and behind, it’s a classic tactic in this world. You just have to be ready to go all magic mane when the time comes.”

“Yes, as long as my magic lasts.”

With a light landing Aran phased into existence behind Luna and nodded to the mare. “You aren’t going to recover magic as fast, Luna,” he was wearing a mage’s outift with various runic symbols dangling from chains along his hips and a mask dangled from his neck, he tented his fingers, “this is the world you’re from,” he rounded his hands, “this is our world, magically speaking.

“Your world is infused with a different source of magic and your body is absorbing it at a slower rate here. You’re essentially like me, and can only recharge quickly at a leyline. Well, quicker than normal. I’m sensing a well of magic in you, but it’s not as deep as it was. Teleporting me to the moon,” he smirked, “took a lot of magic and it may take months before you recover it all naturally.”

“So, what am I to do? I knowst that some of my magic can be used without draining me, like my telekinesis.”

“That’s a different power, from the mind not the heart. Your horn channels it, I’d wager, and manifests it with that tell-tale color that gives away your position. Can you do anything about that?”

“No, it is how it is. We must work around it as we can.”

“What if we covered it?” he asked reaching into a pocket and rummaging.”

“It will not work. The aura of a unicorn spell is to be seen and not even I can dispel it.”

He stopped and rolled his eyes, taking out a pair of sunglasses. “Then let’s get you some more target practice and hit the road after lunch, we can’t stay for too long.”

Movin' On

Luna nickered in frustration as she looked at the satchel she was offered. It was not made for her kind in mind. “This will not fit my status,” she looked to her right, “Raul, will you wear this in my stead?”

“Nay,” he smirked, “I have my own pack. What if you step into it and we tie it around you. Less dignified than you’re used to, but still would work and you could reach inside it. It’s a satchel, afterall. We could make them into saddlebags like you asked, but that’d cost us another one of your bits.”

Luna looked to the table that held her satchel and sighed. “You are right, Raul. I should make the best of what I have. Salespony… er, person. I will and wear it with pride,” she lifted her chin.

Ariel reached past Luna and slid it over her long neck and let it rest where her chest regalia had rested. “Looks nice enough,” she said as she took a step back to look the mare over. “Now all you need is a pair of panties and a bra and you’ll be halfway to a human.”

Raul scoffed. “How’s she gonna wear a bra when her titties are back there?”

“I’d find a way to make it work.”

“How? The panties’d cover it before you could get a bra to match,” Raul countered with a smirk, his eyebrows hardened.

“I said I’d find a way...”

Luna’s cheeks were puffed as she held her breath, a blush across her muzzle. Finally she exhaled. “Must you speak of me in such a way?”

The two looked at the mare and shrugged. “My bad,” they said in unison then grinned to each other. “Jinx. Jinx again!”

Luna turned and with a smooth motion left the two to bicker amongst each other.

“Verily,” Luna stated before taking a slightly deeper breath in, “seller of this satchel, it will work. I will trade you a bit for it.”

Luna levitated a bit from its hiding place in her shoe and placed it on the counter. With a toothless grin the creature took the bit and ate it, swallowing it in one bite. “The deal has been made and is firm. If you wish to return the item you would have better luck flying to the moon of this world.

Luna exhaled and looked away. “I could on my world.”

“Then perhaps it is in my favor that this is not your world. Can I sell you anything else? The money you offered is worth more than a single satchel.”

“No, this will due… wait, I will need nourishment for the journey outside what they carry.”

“I carry only food with meat, pony. You will not be well should you eat it.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “I understand. I am also able to eat some meat. I will take some of what will last the longest, in case the needs arise.”

The creature turned, exposing a back covered with spikes as sharp as an unfiled horn. Luna’s hind leg took an instinctive motion back. The creature turned back with three sealed packages. These are what humans call ‘em’ar’dee’. They never go bad and are full of needed human nutrients. Should you eat them I wish you luck, and may your intestines tolerate this.”

Luna took the MRE’s in her magic and into her satchel, she frowned at how full the satchel was after only a single purchase. The creature snickered and shrugged. Luna turned and trotted past the now frustrated duo that now was seemingly holding a staring contest, rather than argue.

“Come, my knights. We feast then we begin our journey back to the mirror and return me to my home.” She began a steady trot to the market and to a human vendor. She bought a bushel worth of mixed vegetables and the bushel, carrying it on her back. She ate an egg plant as she waited for Raul and Ariel to catch up.

“Well, ‘tis nice to see you have come to an agreement of silence rather than making me wait for much longer,” she said as she took a bite of a carrot she had in her magic. She swallowed while the two split up and went to different stands to buy food. Aran came jogging up, his runic stones clattering as he approached, announcing his position.

“Don’t,” he panted, “leave without me. I’m going with you still… can I have a carrot?”

Luna raised an eyebrow to him and sent a carrot to him. He took a bite and sighed in pleasure. “What?” he asked, “I’m a vegetarian, too.”

Luna couldn’t help but grin. “Then we have two things in common, magic and our diet. We are on track to be comrades.”

“Wouldst thou haveth a swiving?” Raul said from beside Luna, startling her slightly. Enough to make her spill her bushel.

Luna glared at Raul. Raul scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Luna. That was uncalled for… I should swiv with you first, right?”

Luna gasped and blushed, lowering her tail and picking up the vegetables and carrying them to her side as she quietly entered a gallop away from Raul.

“...What did you say just now? What’s a ‘swiving’?”

“It means ‘to have sex’.”

Aran looked at the mare who was nearing the edge of town. “Ah. I see. She does have a nice moony-butt. I can see you two together.”

Raul cocked his arm and let a firm punch land on Aran’s arm. With a yelp Aran hopped away and held his arm. “Jerk face.”

Raul shrugged. “I’m not into pony style,” he said with a wink and took a bite of a wrap he’d pulled from a pocket, “...anyway. Let’s go.” With that, Raul entered into a run to catch up to Luna while Aran ate his carrot quickly. He ran to a vendor and bought some traveling snacks quickly and cast a spell, then was off like a bullet after the pony and man.

Ariel looked up from where she sat on a bench and swallowed a mouthful of food. “Uhm, what about me?” she asked softly.

Weapons and Magic

The sound of air fizzling tickled the hairs in Luna’s ears. “Oh my, so that is what you use to strike at others? It’s certainly powerful, but no match for my powers.”

“Oh, this I gotta see,” Ariel said shouldering her rifle.

Luna lowered her horn and aimed at the target. A silhouette of what seemed to be a human, albeit lumpier than any she’d seen so far. Perhaps a dee-bee, she wondered as she let loose an average bolt.

The target vaporized and a swath of land, trees, and a hill were obliterated by the alicorn’s blast. Luna’s jaw hung open as time limped by. A slow clap started from behind her and she turned to see Ariel’s stunned face looking at the devastation. “Well, I’ve never shot like that,” she said stopping her clapping, “but now I lost my target and shooting range.”

“Uh, I… Apologize… I do not know what happened, the spell should have fired a small bolt. Enough to scorch the target at the center, not do that,” she gulped and shook her head, feeling her mane brush against her neck for the first time in longer than she could recall.

“Expect it,” a man shouted from above, “we’re at a leyline crossing. Miss Air-head didn’t tell you that, did she?”

“I know what a leyline is,” Luna said to the man who was appearing to hover in mid air, “they are the lines of mystical energies that infuse the world with power. My world happens to be full of them, as well.”

“Well, not like these,” he lowered slowly, “the leylines here are specific points where magic is amplified. Can you sense the leylines?” he asked, looking at her with piercing green eyes.

Luna shifted her weight, uncertain how to answer. “No, I can not. I can simply syphon their power when I am near them.”

“So, now you know. And I’ll tell you this too, Moon Butt,” he glared at Luna who glared back, “don’t use magic unless you know where the lines are or you might blow up your friends. I’ve seen it happen and I’ll wear your horn before I let it happen again.”

Luna opened her wings and bared her teeth, rearing to her full height. “If you are challenging me…”

“You wouldn’t last five minutes, darling. That’s a promise.”

“Very well,” she inhaled. “I challenge thee to a magic duel at-” she bellowed, stopped by a sudden fist in her abdomen. She coughed, hacked, and fell to her side, overstretching her wing and gasping in pain as she held her belly.

“You talk too much,” the man said, “and you expose your weak points too easily. We’re not horses and warriors don’t talk, we strike.”

Ariel was next to Luna as she landed to the ground and glared at the man. “Damn you, Shi-Aran, why’d you have to-”

He looked pointedly at the girl. “Because if she doesn’t know how to be stealthy she might as well be dead, and it won’t take much at the rate she’s going. Wearing magic armor that screams it’s power. Carrying herself like she’s better than us all. She knows nothing about this world and acts like we owe her? Typical dee-bee, this one’s just privileged is all,” he said turning away.

Luna choked back a sob as a tear left her eye and she rolled to her belly, forcing herself to her hooves. “I… am ignorant in the ways of this world. Destructively so, and I implore you to teach me something, anything to stave off my own demise. I am too different,” she winced and coughed, her legs wobbling, “and… I just wish to return home,” she coughed again as her hind legs gave way and her rear fell to the earth.

A loud fart escaped her as she trembled. “I, think I am unwell.”

The people looked to Luna and then each other in concern. “Aran, what’d you do to her?”

He looked back and his eyes widened. “Nothing, just a punch, honest.”

“She looks terrible and she’s not going to, pass gas around us,” Ariel said as Luna panted.

“I, am in, pain,” Luna winced and laid down, breathing heavily, “the strike he gave, was it magical?”

Ariel looked to Aran who winced at the glance. “It was just a speed spell, nothing in the punch itself,” he walked over and placed a hand on Luna’s withers. I’ll carry her to the doc-”

Aran grunted as Luna’s wing slapped him hard across the face, sending him staggering and tripping to the ground. She lunged and pressed him to the ground charging her horn and lowering her muzzle to his nose. “If thy ever strike me again I will not hesitate to turn you into a frog and step on your legs,” she snorted a mucousy puff of air into his face and discharged her horn at a stool, turning it into a living, breathing bird.

“...Yeah, I get it,” Aran nodded and watched the bird fly away, “don’t mess with the pony princess of the sky. Remember though, don’t mess with a Leyline Walker in a leyline. Pajuma Takrakan.” A blinding flash of light left his body and sent Luna reeling, but not after pressing hard on the man. She stumbled back and began to instinctively wipe her eyes.

“Tam tam tem, adrilli utiman! Now, I think I’ll have some fun,” he smirked at Luna who placed her hoof down with a slam and looked in his direction, her horn lighting up. “Magica ennatta!” Luna felt something brush against her as her eyes began to clear. She moved to jump at him but grunted as she felt her hooves stuck to the ground.

Luna smirked at him and cast a spell teleporting herself and Ariel to the front door of the house. “Wait here, I have a man to subdue.”

She teleported back and above Aran, opening her wings and charging her horn. “Have at thee!”

She cast a simple ensnaring spell that phased through Aran to her surprise. She felt a firm kick below her tail and yelped, losing her balance and losing several feet of height. She spun and glared daggers at him. “So, a battle of cowards is how thee fight? So be it,” she sneered and flew at him, phasing through him again, stopping and bucking behind her.

“You can’t hit me like that in my element,” he laughed haughtily as he attempted to kick Luna below her tail again. Luna’s horn flashed and she teleported to the ground, her hind legs starting to ache from the unfair strike to her personal areas.

“You consider this your element? Then let me show you mine!”

She roared and her horn flared to life with a double cone of energy, then she and everything in several hundred feet vanished.

Aran flailed as he slowly fell to a white and grey dusty ground. “What’d you do? Where the fuck are w-” he gasped as he looked at her, flowing mane and a calm smirk that sent chills up his arms.

“We are on the moon, Aran. Shall I leave thee here without my magic to aid thyself?”

He began to hyperventilate as he looked around, then up to see the blue marble that is the earth. “Okay! Y-you win, I submit! Please, get me home, alive,” he tried to run but only managed to kick up dust and float up into the air bubble she’d created.

“You will teach me the ways of your world?”

“YES! Please, don’t let me die like this,” he pleaded as his ascent turned into an arced descent.

“Very well. I will spare thee, if thee agrees to be my master in the area of mystical training.”

He looked at her with confusion and nodded.

“We have an accord. End our agreement without my approval and I will return here with a frog under my hoof, and leave it here.”

He trembled and nodded as her horn flared to life, then he fell to the earth from several feet with a thud and shout of pain. A moment later he was standing and looking at the trees, feeling the ground, and breathing the air with a new respect for it all.

“First, I would like to experiment with the rifles that Ariel has, then you will begin my lessons?”

“Y-yes, Your Highness.”

“You will refer to me as Luna; henseforth, I am not a princess here. And if you choose to challenge me again,” she approached him and smirked, lifting a gilded hoof into his crotch with the full force of her might, “fight fare,” she shouted as he landed several lengths away, shouting and holding his crotch, curled into a fetal position.